By Drew Stevens, Ph.D.

I am often asked about how I achieve my successes in business and I am reminded about previous circumstances that have paved my future successes. While perseverance might be one factor passion and conviction certainly are relevant.

We all have choices and we can choose to succumb to the negative pressures or simply look forward; shunning negativity. As a child I was physically abused. My choices were to remain in that environment and escape with outlets such as drugs or alcohol or to pave a new future. I chose the latter.

In a second incident I was terminated three times in a six month period; the last on Christmas Eve! With a wife and children I could have chosen to become depressed and angered or simply build. I chose the latter.

Obstacles constantly impact business development. You feel as if you are playing chess and constantly under “check”. The prospective clients you desire choose other vendors, employees leave for other organizations. Even new product development goes array. Such pressures happen to the small as well as most famous of entrepreneurs. (Ask Steve Jobs about iPhone issues)

Entrepreneurs can succumb to the pressures losing valuable development and innovation time or they move forward. Business like chess requires proper strategy and marginality. It is the choices you make, the overall strategy, the ability to thwart pressure and your passion that must keep you focused on the goal. Now it is your move!

By David Nour

Mentoring on a personal and professional level is something that has been done for years. But recently, there have been some changes as it relates to mentoring. Mentoring has evolved in three fundamental ways:

First, it has evolved into specialty areas of one’s development needs.  I recommend every high performer (a must to attract ideal “future-state” mentors) to identify 3 independent individuals as mentors: one within your company who clearly understands your role, realm of responsibilities, challenges and opportunities; one within your industry who is familiar with the bigger picture outside of your purview; one completely outside of what you do to give you an independent perspective on your particular assets and areas for improvement.  This “triangulation” gives you the best possible perspective on any inflection point in your career.

Second, it has evolved in a much more balanced approach between hard and soft skills.  Emotional Intelligence and Strategic Relationship Planning have become as critical as the technical skills to succeed, grow personally and professionally, and to engage and influence others often without authority.

Third, it has evolved into formal and informal structures, cascading mentoring programs as well as “reverse mentoring” opportunities.  Formal mentor / mentee events are still held several times each year, yet it is highly encouraged to meet and engage informally as the need arises.

Cascading mentoring programs connect a senior mentor with a mentee who also mentors a junior person; this 3-tiered model allows for a cascading effect of best practices down the organization.  Reverse mentoring is younger or newer employees showing “old dogs” some new tricks – particularly in Web 2.0.

While mentoring programs have evolved in recent years, their purpose has stayed the same. Sharing knowledge, insight and wisdom that one person has with another person benefits everyone who is involved in such a program. It is so important to know why you are getting involved in a mentoring program, what you want out of it, and which program to choose from.

By Rob “Waldo” Waldman, Lt. Col., CSP

As I write this article at my favorite Starbucks, I can’t help but hear the conversation next to me.  A middle-aged woman is having a coffee meeting with a peer discussing job opportunities, the market, and their personal networks. It’s obvious that she’s lost her job due to cutbacks and is networking like mad, reaching out to her wingmen and exploring job opportunities.

Sound familiar?

We all know someone who recently lost a job or who is struggling with their business. The economy is tough today. Sales are down, credit is tight, budgets are being slashed, and jobs are being cut.  We’ve all been affected. It’s just reality. And while we can’t control Wall Street, the only thing we can control is how we react to what’s going on. As my friend and wingman John Harrington of OTR Consultants says, when adversity strikes, “we either fear or we lead.”

If we fear, we crawl out of bed anxious, worrisome, and focus on what we don’t have.  We become strangled with doubt.  We strap into our jet ready to take-off, but push up the throttle with the brakes on. Doubt prevents us from releasing our brakes and destroys the warrior spirit. It kills performance which eventually leads to failure.

If we lead, we jump out of bed, acknowledge our fear (hey, it’s normal to be afraid when adversity strikes!), and then give thanks for what we have.  We gather our resources, plan the day’s mission, and then gather the courage to take decisive action.  We focus on doing, not doubting…on performance, not philosophy. We understand that we’re in control of our jet and are ultimately responsible for results.

Here’s the question you have to ask yourself during adverse conditions: Will you fear or lead?

In turbulent times like today with the missiles being launched, we have to be warriors, not worriers.  Warriors confront the reality of their fears, and then lead by taking action.  When I flew in combat with my wingmen, sure we were scared. Sure we had doubt. But when it came time to execute, we prepared relentlessly and then took action as a team. We felt courageous and confident because we weren’t flying solo and knew we could count on each other for mutual support. Most importantly, we focused on our actions, not on our attitude.

In business, attitude alone won’t get you to take off. Yes it’s important, but ultimately you have to take action for change to occur. Attitude gives the thrust, but action provides the vector.  You have to release the brakes on your jet and roll down the runway with a target and a plan, knowing full well what the stakes are.  I know it can be overwhelming and it isn’t easy. But let’s face it; the greatest results in business often require the greatest effort and risk. On the opposite side of fear, is growth.

I want to emphasize that being a modern day warrior isn’t about combat.It’s about commitment, courage, and accountability. It’s about fighting for a cause that means something. Yes, warriors fight for those they serve, but they also fight for freedom, peace, family, and love. Warriors work. Warriors live by the credo “the more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in battle.”   They plan and train with discipline and intensity and put forth the effort so that they never have to go to battle. As the great Chinese General and military strategist Sun Tzu wrote in “The Art of War,” the greatest victories in war are the ones that are never fought. 

Most importantly, warriors are a beacon of hope for those in need.  In essence, warriors are wingmen.  Warriors are your friends who refer business to you, who share their best practices, give feedback on your sales performance, and who take your keys when you’ve been drinking. They give their love and advice freely, but also help you be accountable to the most important wingman in your life…yourself!

Warriors are wingmen who will do what it takes to help you turn your fear into courage, push up your throttle, release your brakes and take-off. Warriors want you to win.

As we deal in these uncertain economic times, I would challenge you to lead rather than fear. Be thankful for the warriors in your life who fight the good fight and who give you the courage to release your brakes and take-off in turbulent conditions.  And last but not least, pray for the strength to be a warrior for your customer, your co-workers, and for those less fortunate who can’t muster up the courage to release the brakes on their own.

Be a wingman – a warrior with a heart.

By Tricia Molloy

Clutter is everywhere. The physical clutter of paperwork, mail and reading materials on our desk and in our files seems to multiply on a regular basis. The electronic clutter of email and the proliferation of news and information from the Internet and a multitude of media outlets can be overwhelming and paralyzing. Then there’s the emotional clutter of unfulfilled commitments, difficult team members, uncompleted projects, self-defeating thoughts and the “what ifs” that never seem to materialize.
 
Clutter distracts and confuses us and drains our energy–physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Cleaning out the clutter on all levels allows the universe to detect a vacuum and fill it with our best intentions. Yes, the universe abhors a vacuum.

When you identify and eliminate clutter, you can focus on what’s most important and attract it to you.

“Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along,” advises Og Mandino, author of  The Greatest Salesman in the World. “This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!”

By Don Goewey

If you don’t give up you will succeed.  It’s The Law.

We’ve come far in life, through the trial and error of our own seeking and with the help of friends, family, angels, saints and ancestors helping us traverse distances we could not have spanned on our own.  Now, more and more we see the light surrounding us and know it’s real.  We know there is a force inside of us we can count on, especially in hard times when money is tight and jobs aren’t secure.  We can live like Robert Frost, who said,” I always entertain great hopes” and never give up. 

It still remains the case that those who don’t give up succeed at life, whether it’s winning a game, building a business, overcoming an illness or attaining enlightenment.  The world will always present problems and adversity that will challenge us but we can meet these difficulties with our most powerful asset:  Attitude.  The correct attitude makes us larger than circumstances.  Listen to what Winston Churchill said:

“The pessimist sees the problems in every opportunity. Whereas the optimist sees the opportunity in every problem.  Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.”

The Dalai Lama said the very same thing:

“No matter what is going on, never give up. Work for peace, in your heart and in the world. And I say again, never give up.”

Great hopes and firm resolve doesn’t mean you have to put your nose to the grindstone.  “What we demonstrate today, tomorrow, and the next day,” stated Ernest Holmes, “is not as important as the tendency which our thought is taking . . . the dominant attitude of our mind. If everyday things are a little better, a little more harmonious, a little more health giving and joyous; if each day we are expressing more life, we are going in the right direction.” 

If you don’t give up you will succeed.  It’s The Law.

By Linda Henman, Ph.D.

On June 12th, 2010 English goalkeeper Rob Green let a routine shot from Clint Dempsey slip through his grasp for the Americans’ only goal in their high-profile World Cup opener, a 1-1 draw. Green blundered more like an eighth grader than an internationally known goalkeeper. As Green hangs his head in shame and ardent fans sharpen weapons to be used against him, I’d like to suggest that soccer in general—and this incident in particular—offer an apt metaphor for what happens in organizational teamwork.

Soccer represents one of the truest of team sports. No one person can win a game, just as no one person can lose one. Ten other players had a chance to stop the ball that slipped through the net on June 12th—and they had approximately 89.5 minutes in which to do that or to outscore the Americans. Instead of focusing on this reality, fans and media alike have concentrated on the roughly 30 seconds it took for Dempsey to shoot and Green to miss.

Members of project teams assign blame similarly. The last person to touch a project, the final person to sign off—the organization’s equivalent of a goalkeeper receives the blame for failure. People seldom notice all the time prior to the last minute and excuse mistakes disproportionately early in the game.

Why? In most organizations true teamwork doesn’t exist. Committees pass for teams; true collaboration doesn’t exist; and people favor self-reliance over interdependence. Similarly, leaders reward individual efforts, not teamwork. Blame too tends to be more individual than group oriented.

If you want true teamwork and interdependence, you have to reward it. And, you have to avoid punishing individual mistakes.

Green has enjoyed years of success on the field of soccer, but his name will live in infamy for an error. This isn’t fair for Green, and it won’t be fair for the keepers in your organization. Billy Joel advised us all to keep the faith, but that isn’t so easy without others to helps us along the path. That, and a fair-minded leadership team.

By Pamela A. Scott

Talk about a communication conundrum. . .

Yesterday I was coaching a young woman (read “half my age”), and we were brainstorming ways to get her staff to take ownership of their work. We were exploring how to create a sense of urgency for them. (I hear this a lot from owners.)

We talked about playing some game with a timer—this is for an off-site retreat. We thought of Pictionary or maybe Charades. These didn’t excite me, but I know my kids liked Pictionary.

I thought back to games where I felt most pressured to win before time ran out. My mind went back to video games like Pac Man and Centipede.

They created that adrenalin rush that you had to move fast and smart or you would get eaten or whatever. (I was always an observer.)

She was aware of Pac Man, but had never heard of some of the others. She did not grow up in this country. Score 1 for “cultural differences.”

Then I got excited, remembering playing pre-video games, sometimes in drinking establishments. “We need a pinball machine!”

She looked at me with that “what are you talking about” look.

“Pinball, you know,” I said, reliving old memories, pantomiming pulling back the launcher and working the flippers. Still a blank look.

“Certainly you know of the rock opera ‘Tommy?’ Blind kid who’s a pinball wizard. . .”

Still a blank look. I was struggling here. Score 2 for “cultural differences.”

“Well, you do know who The Who is, don’t you?” I asked, looking for some shred of a way to relate.

“The Who. Yes, I know them.” Thank heavens!

Needless to say, my case for a pinball machine didn’t land on this young woman. They didn’t have pinball machines in her country. And she hadn’t taken a college course on great rock operas from the 1970s.

By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

I  happened to be home watching Oprah. There was actress, Kristen Stewart, squirming in her chair and looking so terribly uncomfortable. The  movie celeb, star of two mega hit vampire films sat with her two male co-stars and looked like she wanted to be anywhere but on that stage.

Oprah seemed determined to grill her and ask her the same types of questions she asks many of her guests. Hadn’t the producers  prepped her about Kristen’s more reserved manner? If they had done even a little research they would have discovered that she is very uncomfortable in public settings and feels judged much of the time. Here is one example:

From Elle Magazine :”What’s mystifying to Stewart—and likely to anyone with either a shred of empathy or a tendency to clam up in public—is the looking- glass reality in which her manner, rather than eliciting sympathy or mere shrugs, has made her a figure of derision. “I think it’s funny that when I go onstage to accept an award, they think I’m nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward—and I am—but those are bad words for them,” Stewart says. She still frets about her MTV Movie Awards appearance last year, during which she fumbled her award, a carton of golden popcorn (then blurted, “I was just about as awkward as you thought I was going to be. Bye!”…..and they were like, ‘I love how she goes up there and tries to be so serious. She is so pretentious. Why does she always try to sound so smart when she’s not smart?’ ”

Kristen – I want to offer you the 4 P’s as a tool to use to increase your confidence. Here are some tips:

Ask to  review the interview questions before hand and veto those you don’t want to address. My research with introverted leaders across many fields taught me that preparation (The first “P” in the process called the 4 P’s) creates confidence.  Maintain a positive presence (the 2nd “P” ) by focusing on being in the moment and not worrying about how you came across.
I thought you handled an “oh so awkward “moment well when Oprah asked you about dating your costar (especially after he made a joke and said you were  pregnant!)

Use the 3rd “P” push,  to stay calm and act “as if “you are confident. Your acting skills will come in very handy!

And as you get more practice  (the 4th “P “is Practice) there is no doubt you will manage those extroverted interviewers with ease and confidence. Most of all you will allow the real Kristen to emerge as you accept your strong, quiet self.

By Jeff Justice, CSP

John Cleese, a founding member of the British comedy troupe “Monty Python,” has produced employee training videos that use humor to get their messages across. He sees humor as a tool that increases openness to and retention of new information. Of course, he has to be on top of his creative game in order to be effective.

Several years ago, he was interviewed by Stephanie Armour, in USA Today, about how he can be funny and creative while also keeping his business head. His answers have been helpful to me and I hope they will be to you:

“…Switching from one to the other feels sometimes almost physically painful…I think the benefit of laughter is it relaxes us in a way that it allows us to switch more easily.” Cleese believes creativity happens best when we can slow our minds and control our activity. He gets away from interruptions with the help of is assistant but says, “Slowing yourself down is much harder.”

As co-creator of the Monty Python’s Flying Circus television series, he learned that  “co-creativity” happens best in an atmosphere of trust that removes self-defensive attitudes from the process. He says, “I noticed when I first started to write with other people that you have to get to trust the person before you can just say the first thing that comes into your head. If you want to create with a group, you’ve got to let that image down, be prepared to say the first thing that comes into your head, and, of course, not criticize.” Creativity flows in safe, accepting environments.

“Everyone can learn to be a lot more creative,” Cleese says. He thinks people can acquire the spark even if they were not born with it. “You have to create space. Shut the door to your office, and if you can’t do that, you go to a park and sit on a bench. Then you have to be able to deal with the anxiety that comes out when you can’t think of anything. And if you work with other people, you have to have a kind of moratorium that anything anyone says is not to be criticized. People have to let their defenses down before they become creative.” And again, humor that is focused in positive directions plays an important role in moving people from stress to productivity.

By Rick Forbus, Ph.D.

How can a person overcome the stresses, pressures, discouragement and anxiety of times such as we live in?

To overcome means to:
o Conquer
o Defeat
o Beat
o Trounce
o Triumph over
o Prevail over
o Surmount
o Rise above

To overwhelm means to:
o Overpower
o Overcome
o Engulf
o Devastate
o Beat
o Crush

When you look at the two sets of word meanings it is much like the clash of titans. I suppose a one-sentence synopsis would read: To overcome the overwhelming forces of this world we must conquer and defeat that which tries to crush us.

I certainly do not think that every day we wage war in some aggressive behavioral style against all and everything we encounter. But, I do believe we should be prepared for the various challenges, whether emotional, financial, relational or even physical.

Things like the economic downfall are not as personalized as an individual who berates you at work. However, the stress and pressure of a poor economy can certainly feel like a real “flesh and blood” adversary at times. Actually, the background noise of economic and financial insecurity causes a level of anxiety that certainly can be distracting, draining and disempowering at times.

What can we all do to rise above the overwhelming cloudiness of such circumstances? Well, there is no “magic bullet” but when we plan for certain predictable behaviors it becomes easier to avoid psychological challenges. Properly identifying life’s resistance helps me overcome uncertainty. I love what C.H. Spurgeon said.

Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties.      C. H. Spurgeon

I read the lyrics of an old song some years back that has stuck in my mind.  Although I can’t remember the author or the title one line has stuck in my mind regarding adversity and overwhelming circumstances. The line said, “I’m not in the valley I’m just changing mountains.”

If behaviors follow our attitudes then preparing our attitudes in stressful times is important to staving off behaviors that are unhealthy and even destructive during hard circumstances.

I do not know what you do, but under stress and insecure times I have to fight certain behaviors that are not good for my overall mental health. For instance, under extreme stress I will either work around the clock and into the night, or, on occasion, I will slip into a sedentary slump that seems to paralyze me from anything productive.

What am I learning about these situations? It is best to run these scenarios in my mind BEFORE you get under stress and into insecure situations. Ask yourself these questions and journal your thoughts:

1. When I feel that finances are at a place where I cannot predict my future, how do I feel? What do I normally do when I feel this way?
2. When someone says something that hurts and depletes your initiative, how do you feel? What actions usually follow that set of feelings?
3. When you cannot seem to get a grip on what the future holds for you vocationally and you seem to be working indifferently rather than passionately, how do you feel? Do you still do the same things regarding your job hoping it all will change?
4. When hopelessness is the order for most days, how do feel and how does your productivity look?
5. When you try to see into the future, what obstacles are keeping you from getting to where you want to be?

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.      Chinese Proverb

I have always had a struggle with opposition. The fact that people oppose my opinions and sometimes disagree we me is a struggle. It is not a struggle because I believe I have to be right, but because since I spend a great deal of thought time on most decisions. When someone opposes me it bothers me that I missed something in the decision that someone is questioning. The challenge is twofold: (1) First, with me because there was a loophole left somewhere, and (2) Secondly, the opposing person could be correct, as well.

This is certainly not the same opposition level as the loss of a job, your 401K, a loved one or finding out you have cancer. But, most of our daily challenges, if not handled well, erode our optimism and outlook. Long term emotional stress, even when it is low-level and constant, can be overwhelming. Of course, the losses of a job, your 401K, a loved one or finding out you have cancer bring the low-level stress up to an overwhelming level quickly. Faint not my friend; there are ways to get through this!

 A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot. It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain.      Neal Anderson

Here are some solutions for overcoming challenges in an overwhelming world. Let’s look at this acrostic to frame the thoughts: OVERCOME

O – Observe what practices you commit to that bring obstacles, challenges or stressors into your life. Observation skills can be developed and practice. Writing down these practices is important to finding ways to overcome reoccurring lifestyle and professional choices and actions. Of course, as an Executive Coach I certainly believe a coach takes this observation scenario to its highest level for change and life transformation. Studying or even scrutinizing your life choices and patterns is the first step to overcoming in an overwhelming. Write it down; ask a friend to help or hire a coach for life change!

V – Vision and clarity towards your professional or personal story is a non-negotiable for life-change and overcoming. How do you get vision in the middle of the overwhelming scenario? Again, this may take some outside help. To see your life and the stress and pressures at ground level, you must rise above the runway and see it from above. There are several steps needful to see your situation as it really is and to begin to have some change.

1. Stop. I certainly do not mean quit your job, marriage or career path and buy a one-way ticket to your favorite vacation spot. Change and pace are important to finding your vision. Change up your life sequence a little and change the pace. Remove any ambient behaviors and actions that are unnecessary to get your core work done. Again, it may take a coach to shoot straight with you on choices. To get clarity of vision you have to get out of the mud and see it with a clear look. Change it up, get another opinion and stop doing everything the same way.
2. Act. Rather than react, start acting on a plan that takes you to some significant overcoming practices. Action plans are great if you implement. After you have stop doing some things, start doing some things that lead to positive attitudinal and behavioral change. It is outside of the scope of this article to clarify how to do this, but again, a coach could bring significant breakthroughs with a leadership development system for an overcoming vision.
3. Sustain. Anyone can overcome once. We get it right accidentally sometimes, but sustainable life-change regarding overwhelming pressures is another. Continuance is a lost art it seems. Lots of people hop around from job to job, weak solution to weak solution to relationship to relationship. Sustaining a life style of overcoming your overwhelming stressors is paramount to optimal living. No one can overcome everything all of the time. But, sustainability brings great clarity to your vision which gives you hope to overcome when it is important to productivity.

E – Energy. One of the first things that are depleted under stress is your energy. Your liveliness, your power, your strength and your personality gets weakened under overwhelming stress. How do you get your energy back? Here are several suggestions:

1. Take mental vacation. Without knowing your particular situation it is hard to suggest the magnitude and duration of such mental vacation. But, here is a fundamental truth: a step to overcoming will be a change in your “thought scenery.” I sometimes tell groups to take a 30-second vacation. Think about anything that captures your “happy place.” If you can fit it in, take a ½ day to download, write your hopes and dreams, write down your patterns that seem to always trap you into a corner of stress and confusion.
2. Combine exercise and outdoors. Sometimes an exercise program is not as beneficial as a long walk through the woods, around a lake or in the mountains. Especially if you seem to hammer away at exercise goals that cause injury and even replicate your frustrations at work on some poor machine! A mental vacation combined with a long walk contemplating life change is invigorating.  I have sorted things out, written speeches, outlined a book, gained a great idea, structured a workshop a brainstormed business development ideas while walking. Use the beautiful planet we are endowed with to help you overcome.
3. Nutrition and recreation. Since I do not have enough room in the scope of this article to talk about these separately, consider your diet and your last vacation. As you exercise and think, change your diet to be energy enhancing. Research and inquire about what foods help drive energy to your life. Choose a hobby, sport or activity that brings enthusiasm, laughter and stress free enjoyment. Do not work so hard at your recreation. Let it invigorated not frustrate. Replenish your life rather than drain it with over planning, over eating and over scheduling it.

R – Resist. Certain motivational speakers and celebrities who host talk shows often promote pushing, winning and achieving as very aggressive behaviors. I summarily disagree. When a person is overcoming in an overwhelming world resistance is best. What do I mean? Well, as a coach it appears that most of my clients need a prescription towards resistance not aggression. Why is resistance good? Here are a few suggestions for when it gets overwhelming:

1. Resist the temptation to say “Yes” to everything. Say ‘yes” only to the best things.
2. Resist the urge to try to please others before pleasing yourself. This is important to self-management and esteem. What is it that you need for you to do? You can please yourself and fulfill your passions and calling without becoming self centered.
3. Resist activities that appear fun but cause you physical weariness and financial unnecessary spending. Sometimes a rejuvenating night at home with some of the energy-building suggestions I gave above may be right for the stress. Maybe it is just careful thought given to your week or month that is important to accepting those impromptu invitations.
4. Resist aggression when stressed out. Practice absorbing overwhelming situations, rather than, fighting back or being assertive each time. Resist getting even and resist pay back. Rest in your new path of overcoming and be content at your new life transformation.

C – Communicate. Open up the lines of communication between work colleagues, family, friends and others. Much of life’s stress comes because of poor communication. It could take you simply starting to over communicate a little at work. It may mean that you write your thoughts of frustration and stress to yourself in a journal. It may mean that you write a letter to someone explaining how you feel and ask them how you both can solve the problem of this overwhelming pressure. Communication is apparently a challenge for organizations for companies and people in general. I seem to stay booked with communication workshops more than any other topic.  Work on this communication plan as you take one of your walks or one of those mental vacations.

O – Optimism. Optimism is defined two ways, (1) a doctrine that this world is the best possible world and (2) an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome. The first definition indicates utopia and a sense of denial.  The second one works for me regarding overcoming life challenge. Optimism is the way to start the day. Can you work towards an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon the actions and events of the day, and to anticipate the best possible outcome? It is easier to find the black cloud in every silver lining. I try to start up and when life pulls me down I have some leverage to overcome. Optimism has to be predicted and practiced. Again, your mental vacations can allow for time to write your thoughts about how to become optimistic in an overwhelming world. Here are some suggestions:

1. Write your optimistic thoughts about your “domain of accomplishment” describing what you would like it ALL to look like.
2. Practice optimism. Be optimistic and choose actions that are optimistic and not pessimistic. It is outside of the scope of this article to explain this fully but optimism can be chosen as a behavior.
3. Ask for help to see your choices as optimistic. Again, a coach can help you sort this out. It can become very confusing amidst the stress to see this clearly. Seek help.

M – Macarism. Webster’s dictionary defines this word like this: a philosophy in which one derives his or her pleasure from the inspiration of joy in others.

In a brilliant display of macarism, Daniel was beaming throughout the duration of his volunteer work at the retirement home. Mentor someone and focus on others. Watch others’ faces as you volunteer. Devise a plan for ways to give of your time and talents to various causes and people. One of the greatest tools to overcome stress and self-pity is to turn your attention away from yourself to others. As other people receive your gift of yourself you will receive the gift of altruism. It is a miraculous healing agent for stress and pressure. You will be amazed at your outlook on life once you try this remedy to overcoming in an overwhelming world.

E – Encourage. As insane as it may seem you can encourage others I the middle of your overwhelmed state. Try it. You may have to fake it at first. But, try to encourage others throughout your day even though you are struggling emotionally. My wife has this down as a science. Even though I start out optimistic, my days and weeks do not always end up that way. She encourages naturally and seems to choose the best times with others and me. In her case it is a gift, but for the rest of us, we can work at it. With one of my coaching colleagues recently, who was going through some deep issues, I tried it. On the escalator in an airport I gave him encouragement and a coaching suggestion. He called me two days later after a confrontation with the person of his stress to say thanks. I remembered what I said but had no idea how impactful it was to be in his life. His joy caused my macarism to leap with pride. His overcoming brought some to my life! Wow! Try encouraging others when you are under stress.

Malcolm Muggeridge, in Homemade, July, 1990 writes, “When I hear my friends say they hope their children don’t have to experience the hardships they went through, I don’t agree. Those hardships made us what we are. You can be disadvantaged in many ways, and one way may be not having had to struggle.”

Struggles can be good for us. They look like enemies from the ground level but when we rise up above them and get that clearer vision we may see them as providing strength for us in other areas. Overcoming in an overwhelming world is constant. However, it does not have to be as difficult it may appear presently. I love what Helen Keller said abut suffering and overcoming.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.      Helen Keller

Overcoming is strength of character. Of course, character is another issue and is out side of the scope of this topic. But your character and mine will determine how we deal with struggles, oppression and the overwhelming nature of life in general. Especially now, as the economy has weakened and insecurity prevails, character is important.

In ancient China, the people wanted to defend themselves from the barbaric hordes in the North and they built the Great Wall of China. It was too high to climb over, too thick to break down, and too long to go around. Very secure. Yet during the first hundred years of the wall’s existence, China was invaded three times. Was the wall a failure? Not really. Not once did the enemies manage to climb over the wall, destroy it or go around it. How then did they get into China? They bribed the gatekeeper, and then marched right in through a gate. The fatal flaw was in placing too much reliance on a wall and not putting enough effort into building character.

Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open.
Alexander Graham Bell

Overcoming in an overwhelming world can be your life pattern. Hopefully these tips will get you started.