Peace is Within You

Words matter

2015-02-15T18:53:00.000-08:00

I have become very picky about the people I want in my life; I will not accept negative, angry, or mean people in my life, it too precious for me to waste time with these energies.

There was a man I knew who tried to get closer to me than a friend. He worked as a Healer, he knew a lot about Native American practices and herbs, and told me that he has walked through the childrens' ward at LA County Hospital sending out healing energy; all a plus in my book. I was starting to become interested in him, at a very vulnerable time in my life. But the more he spoke, the more I realized he was an angry person. He never really showed his anger, he just spoke it; everything made him angry. And if he was not angry he would have a passive aggressive attitude to push my buttons, even when I pointed out to him that the subject he would be talking about was too raw and sensitive for me, he would not stop. I understood this person needed to have conflict in his life, it was a choice he made and I severed the friendship.

Another male friend in my life told me he did not have any self worth, indirectly. I would mention to him a conversation I had with someone earlier in the day, and before I could go into what the conversation was, he would interrupt me and tell me how much he disliked that person. It did not matter who it was, he never had anything good to say about anybody. Which no onlt ruins conversations, it also is very difficult for me to be around these people. It is exhausting. But they have taught me to pay attenion to words. You can get to know more about a person if you just listen to "what" they are saying.

It goes for the good, also. Another man I know uses peaceful, loving words, and it shows in his personality. He is someone I enjoy being around.

Which door is open?

2015-02-12T20:27:00.000-08:00

All my life I had lived for someone else; my parents, my kids, my husbands, my bosses, and what society expected its model citizens to do. I have walked that walk, and I have forced open doors to get me into the American Dream of owning my own home, working a 9-5 job, raising a family, married and divorced; twice each. But I was not happy. Today I have accomplished a goal set out twenty-three years ago; I finished my last class for my AA. When I first started, my focus was on Real Estate and Business, but today my degree will be where I am the happiest; Native American studies, and Sociology. It is funny how much a change in one's life can happen. I never would have dared to take classes in these fields, I had a family to support, and that was my main focus. I did not realize I could set my goals on a career that meant something to me. And now that I have completed my classes, I am being pulled in a completely different direction. All the doors that are in front of me, waiting for me to open them, are with my creative side. All the pieces are falling into place for me to start creating. The urge I hve been feeling is getting stronger and stronger; I am finding ways to do what is in my heart, and apart of me. My guides are steering me, and now I can respond. No need to break down the doors, they are unlocked!

Be Afraid, Very Afraid

2015-02-09T20:01:00.000-08:00

Doing something out of the normal routine could be scarey, depending on how much out of the normal routine you go. When you look at your life and see what is not working for you, you have a choice; you can go on as normal with things not working for you, or you can make the necessary changes to make them work. Some people choose the former, and their lives stay stagnant, and they are unhappy. Some people decide to rid their lives of the weight and baggage that is confining them, no matter how scarey it is. One way is not right, and the other is not wrong, each person must decide for themselves, which road to take. If one is undecided, then the universe has a way of making the decision for that person. If this is the case, it can be very scarey, as only the universe knows where you will end up. When you make the decision to make the changes, you move out of your comfort zone, you tread into uncharted territory, afterall change means change. It is uncharted waters that scare us. It is the unknown. It is also necessary for growth. Change leads to new doors, new opprotunities, new wisdom, new growth. Once we make the move, we cannot go back to just being who we were before, we evolve for the better, even when it is painful. The rewards for facing the fear will far outweigh the pain. No one can put a value on the courage, strength, wisdom, and knowledge that comes with growth and change.

50 This Year

2015-02-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

I am turning 50; the big 5-O, the half a century, this year. Thirty was easy; I knew there was still a lot of life in me. Forty was difficult, but not for the obvious reason; I was empty-nesting at the same time. The last of my 5 children had left moved out of state, and my daughter-in-law and granddaughter was moving out of state to be with my son, as he came back from Korea with the army. My usually full household was now empty. It was definitely a time of mourning, but I was trying to look a it as a positive time in my life. After being a mother since I was 17, and having my fifth when I was 21, this was the first time in my life when I could really look at who I am. I was married at the time, and as my husband was a man, he was not as emotional over the kids being gone. He was dealing with it like a man; yelling, woo hoo! We were not on the same page, and I needed to make some sense of the closure I needed while embracing this new chapter in my life. I decided a ceremony was appropriate, so I told him I needed a few hours one night to have some time to myself. I collected my favorite cd, a bottle of wine, a candle, and some tissues, and I said goodbye to the past to welcome the future. I honored Me. Unfortunately, this did not end my grieving for my children and my grandchild, much to the dismay of my then husband, but it started the process.

A lot has happened since then; I am now divorced, the grandmother of 9, and living with my mom, and a new fous on my life. I have a better grip on my health; mentally, physically, and emotionnally. I am sronger than I ever have been, and have focus for the first time. There is an eagerness and excitement of newness within me. This is the first time my life is truly just about me. I look forward to turning 50.

How much does building a church cost?

2015-01-30T18:59:00.000-08:00

Today, at work, I overheard two men talking, and one said; it costs a lot to build a church. That got my attention; it does not cost anything to build a church, I replied. The other man went into how much stained glass windows cost to make, and I could not comprehend why anyone who speaks for God, or in the name of God, needs stained glass windows. So, I replied; churches are within, and stained glass windows or any other luxury is not required, just a person, the self. They understood what I was saying, but the second man responded people are used to tradition, this is what they are used to when they pray. Just like some religions have staue and according to others it is wrong to have them, but they do not know the meaning of them is to honor them. I am still confused; do we need exensive statues to honor saints? Why not honor ourselves? Why not honor each other? If church works for you, great, but does it have to be an expensive building? Do we really need to keep up a materialistic tradition?

Egyptian Arab Proverbs

2015-01-27T10:40:00.002-08:00

These were given to me by someone who I hold a great deal of respect for, and I thank him for his wonderful energy and wisdom.

First are the Egyptian Arab Proverbs, then will be the American version in itallics.

Repetition teaches (even) a donkey. Practice makes perfect

At the time of a test a person rises or falls. People's real worth is known only through trial.

If you marry a monkey (i.e. somone ugly) for his money, the money will go away and the monkey will stay the same (as ugly as ever). Do not marry for money.

Being alone is better than being with someone bad. Warning about keeping bad company.

Being involved in a funeral is better than being involved in marriages. A warning about matchmaking.

In his mother's eye, the monkey is (as beautiful as a gazelle). Comment about mothers' bias to their children.

The believer is not bitten from the same hole twice. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

The unlucky person finds bones in his tripe dinner. You cannot escape bad luck.

The hand in water is not like the hand in fire. Easier said than done; used to criticize someone removed from the situation at hand who is telling those involved how to deal with it.

Those who have an injury on their head keep checking it. People who have a weakness show it.

Dressing up a stick turns it into a bride. Clothes make the man.

The son of a goose is a swimmer. Like father, like son.

Continuing the same state is impossible. Nothing stays the same.

Seeing someone else's problems makes your own seem smaller. Considering others' problems will give you perspective.

The carpenter's door is falling apart. Used to criticize someone who tells other people how to do things but does not apply his own avice to himself.

The clever one spins the donkey's leg. Used to criticize someone who blames their tools for their bad work.

He who does not have (the money to pay for something) does not need it. If you cannot afford something, think twice about whether you really need it or not.

After his hair went white, he went school. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks.

Someone without (even) a collar tries to jump up (i.e. to a higher social class). Used to criticize someone poor trying to reach up too high above his social status.

Someone free plays the judge. Used to criticize someone with too much free time interfering in other peope's business.

The bride gets a bridegroom and the rest of us get miserable. The bride and the bridegroom are happy at a wedding, but the guests go home unhappily.

What is written in the brow will inevitably be seen by the eye. One will inevitably meet one's destiny.

Trusting men is like trusting water in a sieve. No translation, I just like this one a lot!

The beautiful is beautiful (even right after) rising from sleep, and the ugly is ugly (even) if they wash their face every day. You cannot hide beauty or make the ugly beautiful.

One hand does not clap. Cooperation from all sides is necessary to accomplish anything.

Under a sheikh's hat is a monkey. Used to criticize someone who tries to appear good on the outside to cover up their faults, specifically if they try to appear pious.

Stretch your legs as far as your banket extends. Do not live beyond your means.

He who burns his own tongue from soup will blow in his yogurt (to cool it). Once burned, twice shy.

You want what you want and he wants what he wants, but God does what He wants. Man proposes, God disposes.

Someone with their ass exposed likes to criticize. Used in reference to hypocrites.

I say it is a bull, he says milk it. Used to reference one who will not see reason.

The eye does not go higher than the brow. No one can see above their status in life.

The miserable person will be miserable, even if you hang a lantern on his head. You cannot escape your luck.

Better a warm welcome than being invited to lunch. Welcoming people warmly is important.

The imam farted, so those praying behind him shitted. A leader's errors are compounded by his followers.

One who cooks poison tastes it. What goes around comes around.

Why should one who finds someone to cook for him burn his fingers? Do not do your own dirty work if you can find someone to do it for you.

Eat him for lunch before he eats you for dinner. Kill him before he kills you; get your blows in first.

The cat only likes its strangler. People only respond to harsh treatment.

The fan will donate his skullcap. An enthusiast will give away everything for what he loves.

Movement is a blessing. Exercise is good.

A wasp that brought about the destruction of its own nest through its buzzing. He asked for it, it was his own fault.

A loss soon is much better than a victory much later. It is much better to cut your losses and admit defeat quickly rather than stick it out and eventualy win a victory that cost you a lot.

A beggar but acting like a rich man. Used to describe someone who's in no position to be picky but is still acting like he can set the terms of whatever is going on.

A beggar and he wants a whole loaf. If you are relying on other people's generosity, you should just be grateful for whatever you can get instead of complaining you did not get more.

The bad students' excuse is erasing the blackboard. Used to describe people who are trying to divert attention from their own failings by talking about other things.

Some people's disasters provide benefits for other people. What is disastrous for some people prove to be advantageous for other people.

What is coming is better than what is gone. The future is better than the past.

"If" is like trying to hold on onto air. The equivalent of "I wishes were horses." Something impossible.

The wicked or naughty live longer. Can be used to hint that if you take risks they will pay off. Can also be used in a joking way; for example, if a person was in a minor car accident and was uninjured.

He got entangled in his own doings. He was hoisted by his own petard -- fell into his own trap.

The believer is afflicted. The righteous always suffer.

The new sieve is taut. A new broom sweeps clean.

Make an effort, and I will make an effort (to help) you. God helps those who help themselves.

It is always the idiots who have (lots of) money. Used to disparage the rich.

The water gives the lie to the diver. The proof is in the pudding.

It is all the same thing to those who know nothing. Used if someone views different things as if they are all the same.

The eye sees, but the arm is short (cannot reach). Said when someone wishes for something beyond his means.

A basket has two handles for two people to carry it. Many hands make light work.

Winds do not blow as the ships wish. You cannot always get what you want.

Unattended money teaches thievery. If you do not keep a close eye on your property, people will steal it from you.

The dog's tail will never straighten out. A leopard does not change its spots.

If your friend is honey, do not lick it all [seriously!]. Do not take advantage of your friends.

When the calf falls, the knives come out. When people sense that someone is vulnerable, they will attack.

The shroud has no pockets. You cannot take it with you.

Someone who tries to do two things at once is a liar, and someone who tries to do three things at once is a hypocrite. You cannot divide your effort between multiple things and do them well.

There is no dessert without fire (in the baking process). You cannot make an omlet without breaking a few eggs.

You get what you pay for. Expensive things are worth the price for their quality.

If you steal, steal a camel, and if you love, love (someone as beautiful as) the moon. If you are going to do something, go all out.

Its protector is its thief. Used in reference to someone like a police officer or a government official, who should be protecting people, actually committing crimes.

The bald woman boasts her niece's hair. Used to describe someone who brags about other people's accomplishments or abilities, in particular ailities that person lacks.

(He said) "My mother-in-law is the plague." Someone replied, "divorce her daughter." Used in reference for someone who is complaining about a problem he can solve himself.

Entering a bathroom is not like leaving it. It is easier to get yourself into a situation than it is to get out of it.

What is (still) hidden is more than what has happened/been revealed so far. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

The person seeking to do good is (as good as) someone who (who) does it. Good intentions count as much as good actions.

Where are you?

2015-01-26T18:57:00.001-08:00

I was listening to someone at work answer the question, "how are you?" This particular person will tell you exactly how bad he is doing. He is someone who calls in sick for various reasons, and seems to enjoy the attention the women give him by asking how he is doing, then feeling "bad" for him. So now everyone feels bad, except him, until the next time.
I have sympathy and empathy for someone who is sick, but I find it hard to be around someone who feeds off it. He is not the only person I know who gets something from negative attention to their health, I have people in my family who are the same way, and it is difficult to be around them; they live in their illnesses and want others to join in their misery. That is not where I where I want to be; I want to be in a place of good health and kick any illness's ass and be healthy as soon as possible. Living in the illness keep you ill all the time. That is your reality. Being healthy and moving past illnesses builds up your physical strength and will. If you are sick, and need some support, that is different, and I will do what I can. If you are always sick, and talk about it regularly, I think there are other places I would rather be than to hear about all that. But one thing to think about, why are you always sick?

Fairy Day

2015-01-24T19:05:00.001-08:00

Today was "Fairy Day." A day to celebrate my twin granddaughters' 7th birthday. Since I would rather spend time with the girls doing something special, instead of going to their birthday party with people I do not care to see, a "Fairy Day" came to mind. I would pick them up in the morning, we go to breakfast, then head to the Huntington for the day; dressed as fairies, all of us. When my daughter heard about it, she asked if she and her daughter could come. I also invited the twins mom, another daughter-in-law and her daughter. All were welcomed, and all came. So here we were; drressed as fairies walking around the Huntington. Little girls were pointing at our fairy wings, which came in pink, purple, and green, so the ladies would forfeit their wings to them, along with a couple of my granddaughters. It was the first time the twins spent all day there, and I was hoping they were enjoying themselves, and I got my answer when one said, "let's do this again next year!"

Fate?

2015-01-22T12:54:00.002-08:00

A co-worker asked me yesterday if I believe in fate. If you are talking about destiny, yes, I replied. My belief is; there is a destined path for everyone, no matter what path we choose to take, the original path will always be waiting. Most people do not folllow their path, they make choices and decisions that go against their destiny, but there path will always there when they are ready to follow it. It make a lifetime, or many lifetimes, but their destiny (fate) will still be there.

This was a good moment for him, as he believes my fate to be different than what I believe it to be. There is also a possibility that he is confusing fate with infatuation.

Breathing New Air

2015-01-19T19:23:00.000-08:00

The air I had always been accustomed to breathing no longer sustains me. It is lacking in the oxygen I now need to to fulfill myself. I have found new air to breathe, one that fulfills my body and soul. It feeds my cells and stimulates my energy to a point of no return, within my brain. Nothing is the same, the world I see is no longer complete. The world I hear is silent to others. The world I smell is filled with scents of possibilities. The world I taste is beautifully displayed on my eager palate. The world I feel is boundless; beyond boundaries, limitless. This new air has brought me to point beyund illusion and into a world of infinite. I am here.

My Spring Has Sprung

2015-01-13T18:54:00.000-08:00

Please don't tell the chilly wind that spring has sprung
The howls, the stings of chilling air seep into the bones
The warm air flowing off my shoulders would be a tease

Please do not tell the frozen plants that spring is here
The bitterly cold dew claming the life of the blossoms
While my buds are blooming, and green color are my leaves

Please do not tell the birds that springtime is now
Their songs are few as the nestle in their nests
The songs of robins and warblers, my ears do receive

Please do not tell the sun that spring has arrived
The shy sun that takes its time coming up, and going back down
The light within my soul outshines the earth with warmth and ease

Please do not tell time that spring has made an early appearance

The fickle and unforgiving time set by a punctual routine

Could never predict my new rebirth, without reprise

Without my rings

2015-01-13T06:22:00.003-08:00

It is amazing to me how the universe works. The rings I wear all have significnce; some were reminders that I am not alone, my guides are there for me; some were given as a token of recognizing the healer in me; and the other just called to me, to support me. But there are lessons in life that one needs to go through alone, and it became very clear that even my rings could not provide any support for me. On my right hand, all my rings were falling off; while on my left hand, my rings were actually burning my fingers. It was frustrating until I realized the timing came about when issues that had puzzled me, for so long, came out into the open. I havd many answers to questions, but that does not mean they are easy to deal with; quite the opposite, and I had to go through these alone, without support from anywhere. That means dealing with the information, not burying it like it has been my M O in the past; feeling the pain, the sorrow, the recovery, and the strength I have to overcome it all, alone, without my rings.

2015-01-07T20:45:00.002-08:00

In 2010, a friend asked me; "If you could be remembered by one thing, what would it be?" I responded: "I want to leave a people better than they were; happier, and to see that they are stronger than they think."

I work with volunteers, and there is one who shares a love of the outdoors, hiking, animals, rocks, and plants, like I do. He has given me special rocks and shell fossills on trips he has taken, and I have given him a rock from a road trip. We share stories, and compared different stones. Last week, he has given me the greatest gift of all; he has shown me how people really see me on the inside. He said: I was up north at a beach (I do not remember which one), and there were all these shells in the sand. You would have loved them! They had beautiful markings displayed on them and I thought of you. You would have loved them!

He saw what I see as beautiful, he appreciiated the beauty of the natural display, and he knew it was something I see. He made me realize that is how people are seeing me; with my own eyes they see the beauty I am reflecting back to them. They see it, they feel it, and it makes them happier for it. It was the best compliment I could receive.

Inertia? Just stop!

2015-01-05T19:22:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling crappy lately. Deep down resentments and insecurities had been lurking and rising to the surface of my consciousness, and instead of burying the emotions, I am feeling and releasing them. Like all the other emotions that came to surface, these feel less valid when I take responsibility for them, and then apply Love and Forgiveness. The Forgiveness is for me; I must Forgive myself for the feelings I allowed into my psyche, and projected them out on people who are being who they are. It is easy to blame others for things we do not like about ourselves, and we wonder why they just do not change. If change is what I want, then I am the one who must change, nobody else. This is the harmonious flow of reciprocity; I create my own change, and I receive my own happiness. No inertia of trying to change someone who is just being themselves. Really, would I want someone changing me? No, not going to happen. We are all beautiful in all our different ways, and it is these ways that become gifts to the world.

Reciprocity

2015-01-05T12:41:00.002-08:00

Reciprocity, my definition; an equal balance and flow of giving and receiving to create harmony.

Harmony is what I need now, as I re-evalute my present. Re-adjust, shift, stop and start something new, or just leave things the way they are. But as cycles shift, so goes my priorities and goals. What is best for me, may not be what was working before, and that is ok, that is growth.

Inner Peace

2014-12-16T20:20:00.000-08:00

As I prayed for many years for Inner Peace, I held the pain inside me. I was fighting what I wanted the most; to release my pain. It was too painful to feel, to think about, and in some cases, to remember. My body was taking the toll; I was damaging myself on the inside and feeling horrible, but kept on going as I was. Doctors were not helping, they just gave me pills. I do not like pills, I do not like to be drugged, I wanted to be healed, and that is what I started praying for; to be Healed. There was no way for me to know the compete effect of what I was asking for, and unless you really have nothing to lose, like I did, walking to the gates of hell and back, which is what I did, is what to expect. You will find pain that your brain has hidden from you; to protect you until you are ready to face it, you will revisit issues you thought were resolved, and none of it will be easy. Your family and friends will not understand what you are going through, but you must do it. You just have to. And when you do, your body, mind, and spirit will finally be at Peace. Your prayers will be answered and you will see things so differenty; what you thought was important before, will no longer matter, and your priorities will now change for the better. You be lighter in every way, and your seeing clearer. And all that is needed is to let go of what no longer belongs to you, what is no longer a reality. Is it worth reliving the pain? Of course! The pain is already with you all the time. By healing it, you are letting it go, so it no longer consumes you. It is GONE! Not bogging you down every day, gone. I can honestl say; Yes, the healing is so worth it!

Channeled 12.15.14

2014-12-15T20:44:00.001-08:00

The times are changing for the better. The shift has occured and now we ridding ourselves of ridgid, fundamentalist ways of thinking and living. There will be more fluidity and spontaneity from like-minded individuals.There will be more freedom of being human, less restrictions and fear. There will more shared Love. These are the ways of the new world being. It is time for a great healing, by all. Do not fret the past, move into a state of joy and let the past dissolve; do not let it occupy your being any longer. Go in Peace.

Numbers

2014-12-07T19:33:00.002-08:00

I noticed a woman's book about numbers; she is studying numbers and their history. It was a fascinating subject for me, as numbers are more important to me, and the universe, than quanitity and balancing a cheecking account. Since I am the least scientific person there is, signs (from weather, animals, insects, plants and dreams) are more clear to me than trying to figure out algebra. A scientific approach is to use numbers to answer questions or prove theories, and if a positive conclusion cannot be found, the answer or theories must be false. (Which makes me wonder; how it is that a person, a human, could possibly think they could duplicate "God" creations.) But an intuitive approach is to let the numbers speak to you, and listen, with an open mind, what they are revealing. There is no need to understand where the information is coming from, or why it is coming. That does not matter. What matters are the messages that come; each number has specific meanings, and when applied to specific situations or places, etc, the information that comes is infinite; the answes are there for the taking.

I made it!

2014-12-02T22:51:00.000-08:00

I heard the saying, "Fake it, til you mke it," for the first time in 2007. The phrase came up in a discussion group and just hearing it durprised me. When the people there told me it actually worked, it surprised me even more. If you are not able to "feel" happy, content, or whatever the goal is, fake it, until you feel it. Faking it seems to convince the mind it is the normal way of being, and then it becomes the normal way to be. So many changes occured in my life, I was afraid to see what was going to happen next. My injuries were so debilitating; there was no way for me to know what I would be capable of. So much healing, and major unknowns, to go through. My guidance has always been around me, so I faked my confidence, and happiness. I could not even say "I am just grateful to be alive!" because I did not know why I was alive. I just trusted blindly that everything I am going through would be worth the pain. Now I made it; I get it, all of it. The answers I have been looking for on how to move forward, how will I make a living, and why did I survive have been answered, Not only are the answers here, but I can feel the righteousness in them. They have given me peace of mind, instead of waiting for something else to blind-side me. It took seven years, but I finally made it!

A dream

2014-11-30T18:09:00.002-08:00

I was on a beach, as a grown man, and a small boy. The day was sunny and clear, the water; turquoise and clear. The man and boy were talking about what they were doing on the beach, which looked like playing, but the mood was more serious. A bluish/blackish snake swam ashore from the sea. The man picked up the snake, called it a corn snake, and noticed how ragged it looked. The snake immediately buried itself into the sand and hid, while the man's attention was again focused on the boy, while the boy's focus was the snake. The boy seemed concerned about how tired and worn out the snake was, but the man reassured him it would be ok. The dream then turned to a cruise ship with celebrities aboard, being interviewed, then back to the beach. I was another child on the beach; this time a little girl. The man and boy were there also, and the girl had a contentment about her that the boy did not understand. The snake emerged from the sand, recooperated and recovered, ready and determined to go back into the sea to finish her destination. The boy child called to the girl child to come and see the snake, but the girl just sat in the sand and watched from a distance, while the man and boy both went to see the snake off.

A meditation

2014-11-29T19:28:00.000-08:00

I was outside, wearing a suit of armor with red under clothing. On one side of me was a dark forest, and the other side was a swamp. I was leaving the dark forest and dropped into the swamp. The water felt cool and refreshing as the armor fell off me. I felt lighter and my skin felt electrified. I emerged from the water as a lioness with a diamond crown and necklace, sitting now, on top of a cliff overlooking a valley. When my conscious mind questioned the image, the cliff turned into a building falling down, and I fell. I leaped up to a stronger building and I realized how my thoughts are controlling my stability. I keep the image of myself as I emerged from the water as the lioness, strong and regal, in my mind, and I am the lioness.

My Inner Conflict

2014-11-20T16:01:00.000-08:00

My diet has always been an issue for me. I loved carbs, they were my comfort food. I could eat a lot of food, and not feel full. My food was not my fuel, it was my "power," and I did not feel "powerful, so I was an endless vessel. Some foods made me bloated, some made me feel like I had rocks in my stomach, some made me flatulant, some I was allergic to, but did not recognize the symptoms. I also struggled with the thought of eating an animal that was once alive, so I convinced myself that all my meat was made at the stores. That was my way of coping; I tried to be a vegetarian, but my body craved the meat. Food was my escape into comfort, and I wanted to be very comfortable.
At this point in my life, I look at food as fuel, and it matters to me what I put in my body, and in July I started a raw food diet. I really liked the food I started eating, and learning more about these healthy jewels, but my body was showing tiredness, stomach aches, and moodiness. I started experiencing cravings for double cheeseburgers and meatball sandwiches, the more the meat, the better. When I finally succumbed to the cravings, I felt guilty for breaking away from the raw foods, but I had a lot more energy, my core felt better, and my thinking was clearer. I tried supplements to eliminate the cravings, but it did not work. I worked salmon back into my diet, and then a little bit of buffalo burgers a couple days a week, and thought that would be a good balance for protein with the raw foods, ha ha.
I asked my guides, why I needed so much meat, as it is hard for my mind to accept me eating it. My reply came; my body emits so much energy, the only way for me not to be depleted is to eat the protein that can only come from animals. I had my answer, but I was sad and still fighting it, until my dream last night:
I came home and it was late. I was not familiar with the house, and there were people there; adults and children. I asked what was for dinner, and the kids said they were waiting for me to fix them something. We went to the store, in the produce section, and I could not figure out what to buy, I could not make a decision, and I felt like it was getting really late. I remember thinking about how good my chicken tacos were when I cooked them for my kids, and I really wanted them, but it was so late to even start making them, I just kept walking around, undecided. Someone from the store asked if we neede help, and the kids answered, "she is starving us."
That hit me hard, I never starved my kids, but I realized I was starving myself of the protein I needed. If that did not wake me up, I do not think anything will. I am now adding, and blessing, more meat to my raw foods, and feeling better all around.

Get real

2014-11-19T17:26:00.001-08:00

I found a cable channel that is the most real channel I have ever seen. It is called Pivot, and is geared for Millenials I started watching it this week, as I was sick in bed, and the shows that are on there are of real people, with real problems, that most of us just wants to ignore. I am a fan of this station and will do what I can to promote it. I am not one for following the crowd, instead I follow what I feel inside of me. It is not always the easy path to take, but it is the most rewarding. I watched the Lego Movie, and the message I received was too many peaple are distracted with "shiny objects" like; television, music, shopping, or partying that they are missing what is really going on around them. In my opinion, it is a controlled distraction, and we need to wake up!

Millenials or Warriors?

2014-11-18T09:53:00.002-08:00

I am watching a show called "Our Time," it is about the Millenials and how they are perceived, and how they percive themselves. I love this show; the diversity, the voices, the struggles, and the courage that are revealed. Powerful! Four guys travel across the country interviewing people of all walks of life, and asking what they would call this generation of young people. I identify them as the people who are breaking through, Neo-Renaissance! These people are the ones who are breaking out of the structured and finding miraculous ways of possibiities. But they are risking everything; their self-respect, their future, and their lives to help the world progress in a better way. These people are the Warriors!

2014-11-17T11:11:00.000-08:00

A while ago, a co-worker asked me: "what do you think of love?"

I responded: "love is unconditional; it is the same for anybody, no matter who they are."

him: "no, not like that. Love between a man and a woman."

me: grimacing.

him: "pretend I am your boyfriend, and you are my girlfriend."

me: "okaaaayy..."

him: "your job is to make me happy, and my job is to make you happy."

me: "first off, you are assigning jobs to something that does not need jobs. Second, it is nobody's job to make me happy, but my own. And lastly, if you are not happy, there is nothing I can do to make you happy."

him: "no, no, I think I am no saying it right. You know when you have a pet; you give it water, take care of it, and give it food, right?"

me: "I am not dependent upon you, I am not your 'pet!'"

him: "no, when you love someone, you give yourself to them."

me: "I am not giving myself to anybody. I did that before, and put his needs before my own needs, and I suffered for that. I will not do that again. The man I am going to be with will know this, and not expect me to."

him: "how?"

me: "he will know and respect my path that I am traveling on, as he has his own. If our two paths come together and will work together, and if we have a connection, we can have a relationship out of love and respect, not jobs."

him: "so, you want someone who has the same interests like you? I know a couple who have different beliefs, and they are married."

me: "yes, I heard of that before, and if it works for them, great. But, for me, I want someone who has the same interests."

him: "what about, if he moved to New York, would you go with him?"

me: "it depends; what is in it for me?" What is going on in my life at the time, what would I do in NY? Would I be moving because he wanted me to? No. I would move if it was a good thing for me."

Then he changed the subject, and it was clear he did not understand my beliefs, and in return, I understood his way too much. I have been there, done that. It is what I was taught growing up. His background and dedication to his church has taught him these ideas. Which is why I am not a fan of organized religion. I do not want a man who lets his church dictate how he feels, what he should do, and what to belief. I do want a man who believes in God, but can think, feel, and know for himself. Until the time comes, I am doing my thing, and when it does come, I will keep on doing my thing.