Peace Love and Pretty Things

Love Note - Friday 2/24/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 11:49:00 +0000

3 Reminders for a Healthy Love Life

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 23:53:00 +0000

Whether you're in a relationship or not, it's so easy to forget how important it is to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself - first and foremost. We can get so caught up in finding someone that we forget our values and boundaries. If we don't go into relationships with a clear idea of who we are, we're bound to either lose our identities in the process or find that we've settled for someone who's not right for us.

Know Thyself and Be Whole:

We have been taught that a relationship is a fifty-fifty proposition. A more accurate view is that two incomplete people can come together and find completion. This is a false premise that has had a disastrous impact on our relationships. Each person must come into a relationship a whole, complete person who is able to handle the responsibility; willing to share in the responsibility for mutual growth. A relationship must not be a crutch. We want to develop complimentary unions where strengths and weaknesses have support . We want to be able to stand on our own, but stand a little taller in a relationship. We want to bring an identity to the table and have it reflected to us a little brighter. In a relationship, two halves do not make a whole, and we cannot allow anyone else to take responsibility for our completion.

-Author Unknown

Once you're in a loving relationship, time and stress can take its toll and cause you to lose sight of the things you love about that person. It becomes much easier to identify their flaws than their positive attributes. The following quote reminds us of the beauty of intimacy and being able to let your guard down & feel safe. True intimacy is hard to find and the comfort it brings definitely outweighs the small annoyances that are bound challenge your union.

Let Your Guard Down:

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

~Dinah Craik

When you're with someone for a long time, you may begin to feel that you are growing apart in some ways. But a reasonable amount of distance does not have to be detrimental. As we evolve as individuals, we must also evolve as partners. If you want your relationship to grow and flourish and your loved one to remain loving and kind, give them the time, space and opportunity to make contact with their own minds.

Let Go to Hold On:

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

Notes for When You’re Feeling Emotionally Bankrupt

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:24:00 +0000

There are some times when you feel emotionally bankrupt. You don’t feel up, you don’t feel down…you just feel empty; or you don’t know what to feel. And often it’s difficult to pinpoint why you’re so out of it.

It is natural for our emotions to ebb and flow—due to hormones, or change in weather or just being plain overwhelmed. There are several ways that we can slowly, but surely, refill our emotional tanks and avoid losing focus or becoming depressed:

Be still

You can’t hear your inner guide if there’s too much external noise. Practice tuning out the world, and tuning into your inner awareness—this is where all the answers lie that will lead you to a place of fullness.

Take it one day at a time

If you are an over-planner, a multi-tasker or suffer from superwoman syndrome, this is especially important for you. Sometimes you have to live in the present. Stop planning, stop organizing, ignore your lists and focus on your emotional health.

Acknowledge your dark as well as your light

Everything in this Universe has an opposite. It is how balance is maintained. There’s nothing wrong with you if, from time to time, you feel a bit down. It is natural and necessary. You can’t heal until you acknowledge your feelings, discover the triggers for these feelings and fully explore ways to transform the area of your life that needs work.

Exercise often and avoid alcohol

Even if it’s just a walk around the block, exercise is important to emotional health. Endorphins have a counter-balancing effect to our other hormones; they can help lift us up out of a funk. Conversely alcohol generally has the effect of magnifying whatever it is we’re already feeling. Even if you’re hanging out with your girls (which is major emotional therapy in itself), be cognizant of how alcohol could have the potential to affect you after the girls have gone home and you’re left alone again with your feelings.

Talk to an objective party

Whether your mom, your best friend or your therapist, talk to someone about how you’re feeling. It’s important that this someone is an objective party who will not dictate answers to you based on their own experiences, but who will listen and help you to draw your own conclusions. No one else can do the work for you—the journey is all yours.

Most importantly, remember that emotions are temporary. No matter what you’re feeling right now, you can turn it around. Don’t let a little bit of darkness cause you to forget that you are full of love and light.

photo via Pinterest

Love Note - Friday 2/17/12

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 22:38:00 +0000

Power Foods for a Flatter Stomach and a Healthier You

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 15:56:00 +0000

There are certain areas of the body that are particularly hard for women to keep toned, and one of those problem areas is the tummy. Trust me, after three children, I lovingly refer to the bulge under my belly button as my mama pouch. I feel like I look perpetually 3-4 months pregnant. What's interesting is that it's a bit flatter in the morning and bloats out throughout the day. Sometimes, by the end of the day I feel so tight in my clothes that I have to unbutton the top button of my pants. Sexy, right?

On the serious side, there's more to consider here than vanity. Studies show that waist size can be an indicator for diabetes and heart disease. Whatever your motivation, if belly fat is an area of focus for you, it's important to focus on cardo exercise, limiting excessive salt intake, and of course making sure that you are putting the right foods into your body. The following guide is a great reference for power foods that will not only help you manage this problem area, but will help maintain your overall health.

source

A - Almonds and other nuts (with skins intact)

Superpowers Builds muscle, reduces cravings

Fights Obesity, heart disease, muscle loss, wrinkles, cancer, high blood pressure

B - Beans and legumes

Superpowers Builds muscle, helps burn fat, regulates digestion

Fights Obesity, colon cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure

S - Spinach and other green vegetables

Superpowers Neutralizes free radicals, molecules that accelerate the aging process

Fights Cancer, heart disease, stroke, obesity, osteoporosis

D - Dairy products (fat-free or low-fat milk, yogurt, cheese)

Superpowers Builds strong bones, fires up weight loss

Fights Osteoporosis, obesity, high blood pressure, cancer

I - Instant oatmeal (unsweetened, unflavored)

Superpowers Boosts energy, reduces cholesterol, maintains blood sugar levels

Fights Heart disease, diabetes, colon cancer, obesity

E - Eggs

Superpowers Builds muscle, burns fat

Fights Obesity

T - Turkey and other lean meats

Superpowers Builds muscle, strengthens immune system

Fights Obesity, various diseases

P - Peanut butter

Superpowers Boosts testosterone, builds muscle, burns fat

Fights Obesity, muscle loss, wrinkles, cardiovascular disease

O - Olive oil

Superpowers Lowers cholesterol, boosts immune system

Fights Obesity, cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure

W - Whole-grain breads and cereals

Superpowers Prevents body from storing fat

Fights Obesity, cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease

E - Extra-protein (whey) powder

Superpowers Builds muscle, burns fat

Fights Obesity

R - Raspberries and other berries

Superpowers Protects heart; enhances eyesight; improves balance, coordination, and short-term memory; prevents cravings

Fights Heart disease, cancer, obesity

source: yogi health

Love Note - Friday 2/10/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:25:00 +0000

Reflection Exercise: Are You a People-Pleaser?

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:38:00 +0000

In my quest to reduce emotional clutter in my life and make the best use of my energy, I'm always looking to eliminate patterns and habits that are counterproductive to this goal.

In other words, I gotta get rid of some of this baggage, in order to make the most of my journey. Make sense? To that end, this post is targeting one of my bad habits: People-Pleasing.

Many of us complain of being too busy or being pulled in too many different directions. Sound familiar? Often, if we really took a closer look, we'd find that many of the things we do are because we just didn't want to say no. Or perhaps your calendar is full of your own responsibilities but you don't want to ask for help because you don't want people to think you can't handle it all.

Truthfully ask yourself: Do you always say what's on your mind? Do you ask for what you really want? Do you let people's opinions change your behavior? Your decisions?

For me, the answer to all of these questions is SOMETIMES. And I'm not comfortable with that. It's great to be considerate of other people's feelings but to the extent that you deny your own volition - now, that's a problem.

Here's what I know about abusive people-pleasing:

*When your actions are based on what you want other people to think about you, you're not being true to yourself. Furthermore, you're putting unnecessary strain on yourself.

*No matter what you do, you simply cannot please everyone.

*Seeking to please yourself and do what's best for you is not selfish.

Saying no when you mean yes and yes when you mean no is not only misleading to others, but it also causes a build up of resentment inside of you. This resentment drains energy that could be used more productively.

A big part of what's created this pattern for me is my need to make everyone feel comfortable. I always feel overly responsible for how everyone around me is feeling. By nature, I care more about relationships than I do tasks and responsibilties. So my preoccupation with making sure everyone is happy makes sense to me. The only problem is, when I put everyone's feelings before my own, I end up feeling miserable. Fortunately, I've become passionate about having a peaceful mind and feeling content within myself, so I recognize this conditioned pattern and I'm changing it.

If you want to simplify and enjoy your life more, take some time to consider if this habit is having a negative effect on you. First, identify it, then see what you can do to change this behavior.

Here are some tips:

*Saying no can be difficult, but remember that often it's not what you say but how you say it.

*Likewise, asking for help is often difficult, but for that very reason it's more a sign of strength and awareness than a sign of weakness.

*Speaking of awareness, make logical and realistic decisions about how you spend your time and energy. Don't overextend yourself in order to please others.

*Remember there's a time and place for everything. Be honest about how you feel, but choose your battles wisely.

Don't worry that people will stop liking you or misunderstand your intentions. You must first accept your reality in order for others to accept it. If your goal is do to everything with love and sincerity, then you must clearly articulate your true feelings.

Why Even Mom Needs to Maintain Her Identity

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:34:00 +0000

Once they become mothers, some women find it difficult to maintain their sense of self, casting all their energy into a wide net around their children; there’s nothing wrong with this, but moms need to maintain an identity independent of their children. Why?

Because children grow up, become their own people, and leave your net behind.

My son is 12 years old and he is reaching a point where he is looking to Dad for guidance way more than he is looking to Mom. And yet, he is asserting his independence from both of us, preferring to hang out with his friends, shunning silly things like Halloween costumes; and he is completely and utterly embarrassed by everything we do—with or without reason. We’ve reached a point where he requires space and privacy. In four years, he’ll be driving a car; and in six years, leaving for college. If I didn’t have goals and projects of my own, I might be feeling these growing pains even more profoundly.

You can’t pour into your children what you don’t yourself possess.

The best way in which to teach or influence your children is to set a healthy example. You have to know how to be independent—or whatever other adjectives you’d like them to live up to—in order to show your children how to do it. They’ll listen to what we say, but more than that, they are watching what we do and making decisions on whether or not they’d like to do it the same way.

You are more likely to be patient with your children when you’ve had time to yourself.

You can’t be all that your kids need you to be unless you have had space to regroup and recharge. When you’re able to take a beat for some “me” time, and to do something that brings you joy, that energy will spill over into other facets of your life. The positive feelings that you’ve generated by doing something you love that is all your own will help you to be loving and present with your children, as opposed to frazzled and overwhelmed.

We will take on many labels as we navigate through life: daughter, friend, student, wife, mother—but these are just roles that we play. It is important that we each take time to remember who we are outside of those roles and to fight to maintain that essence of who we are. It doesn’t mean that we don’t love our children—it just means that we know we have to be our best selves, in order to be the best moms.

Love Note - Friday 2/3/12

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:46:00 +0000

PLPT Reading List - February

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 16:32:00 +0000

Read

Kimora Lee Simmons has a luminous personality and lots of energy, which I admire because it is so different from my own rather reserved personality. Despite being very different than I perceive her to be, I love to watch how fabulously she carries herself. And so I took to her book, Fabulosity: What It Is and How to Get It out of curiosity about what it might hold, and I wasn’t disappointed. It’s a very positive book, geared at young women, that plants seeds of ‘girl power’ and high self-esteem. It is about much more than just how to be fabulous on the outside, but how to be fabulous on the inside as well. Kimora divided the book into sections such as self-esteem and confidence, work & power, independence, romance and positivity. She speaks from her point of view, but gives some really great tips on living a peaceful and happy lifestyle. At the end of each chapter is a series of quotes from other famous models, actors, musicians, etc. These are some of my favorite quotes:

"If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have gotten anywhere." - Marilyn Monroe

Another reminder to be unafraid to take risks!

"It is a risk, but I believe the best investment you can make in anything is yourself. Invest in yourself, and then back it up. Back it up with what you do." – Iman

No one can believe in you, unless you believe in you first, right?

"I have no problem with whatever the next big look is. Just don't try to tell me that only one look is beautiful." - Alek Wek

It’s so important to accept and appreciate our own beauty regardless of what others might say.

"Don't let anyone tell you that you have to be a certain way. Be unique. Be what you feel." - Melissa Ethridge

Be yourself. Always. Unabashedly.

"If you've earned a position, be proud of it. Don't hide it. I want to be recognized. When I hear people say, 'There's Joan Crawford!' I turn around and say, 'Hi! How are you?' I never go out unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door." - Joan Crawford

I struggle with fear of success and accepting praise, so this quote speaks volumes for me.

"If you haven't cried, your eyes can't be beautiful." - Sophia Loren

All our hardships bring with them both wisdom and beauty—and can’t we all use a little bit of both? You can purchase Fabulosity from the PLPT bookstore by clicking here.

*A version of this post was originally published at Chic Mommy Cool Kid.

6 Reminders for the Frazzled Superwoman

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 06:15:00 +0000

1) When stressed, reprioritize what's really important.

I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.... I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. ~Nancie J. Carmod

2) It's okay to make mistakes. Matter of fact, it's necessary.

If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems. And that's a big mistake. ~F. Wikzek

3) Don't wait until you are in crisis to pray.

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. ~Abraham Lincoln

4) No matter what you're going through, recognize the opportunity for growth.

When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity.

5) Don't lose sight of what you have, in the dogged pursuit for more.

It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. ~George Horace Lorimer

6) Slow down. Be Calm. Don't Overreact.

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life. ~Chinese Proverb

Ladies, I hope these reminders were as timely for you as they were for me. Now, take your cape off and and put your feet up. You deserve it.

Love Note - Friday 1/27/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:02:00 +0000

Upgrade Your Life: How to Become an Early Riser

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:48:00 +0000

source

At any given time, I'm sure I could name at least ten things about my life that I would like to change. Don't get me wrong - I appreciate my life and I focus more on what's right than what's wrong. I know how important it is to be content with where I am right now.  But we're all works in progress and life is always willing to teach us more about what our strengths and weaknesses are.  It may sound contradictory - saying I want to change and be content with myself at the same time - but that's my reality.

There is always going to be some area of our lives that feels neglected. And I've discovered that taking the time to pay attention to these neglected things, even in a small way, makes me feel more appreciative, more fulfilled and definitely more confident.

In this new series, "Upgrade Your Life", we'll give suggestions for how you can make small, gradual changes to impact your life in a big way. No matter what it is you want to do, there are baby steps you can take to get there.

This first post is focused on How to Become an Early Riser.

I've never been a morning person. Almost every morning is rushed and frantic. I rarely have time to eat breakfast before I get to work. I often find myself snapping at the kids and rushing them because I'm running late. This pattern has been bothering me for awhile.

I often think about how I can steal away a little more time to myself. It finally occurred to me that I need to start getting up earlier. I want to have at least one hour to myself each morning to exercise, write, meditate or do whatever my heart desires before everyone gets up. This is a way for me to start the day with me, myself and I and get centered before I face the day. This is no small task for me, as I've always been a late to bed, late to rise kind of person. And yet I'm convinced that this change, daunting as it may seem, will be worth it.

Here's my 5 step plan:

1) Go to bed early enough to get X hours of sleep. You probably know how much sleep you need to function at your best. I need about 7 hours most nights. I can get away with 5 - 6 sometimes, but I try not to make a habit of that. If getting up early is a real priority, then you'll do what you have to do and make the necessary sacrifices to get to bed.

2) Get up at the designated time no matter what. To start off, I'm just focusing on getting up at 5 am. I won't put any pressure on myself to get up and do this or do that. This way I won't feel overwhelmed. Just the effort of getting up at 5 am and staying up is an accomplishment for me. When I get up, I make myself leave my bedroom.  I keep an alarm next to my bed and one over by the door. That way I can't rationalize as I continue to lay there in the warm bed.

3) Express the importance of this project to the family. It's surprising how much support you get when you let it be known that you need it. I told my family about this effort and how it was a serious thing for me, and they didn't laugh at me! When my alarm goes off now, my honey nudges me and tells me to get up. His support helps tremendously.

4) Focus on what you will get out of it. When I say focus, I mean somewhat obsess over it. I'm doodling "5 AM" all over my journal. I'm writing about it. I'm talking about it. I'm thinking about how I will feel during that early morning hour to myself....what I'll do...how proud of myself I will be...how this morning treat will positively affect the rest of my day.

5) Don't beat yourself up or give up when you oversleep. Everyday last week I had the intention of getting up at 5 am and I didn't achieve it not once. It was very discouraging but I kept trying. This week has been much better.   I'm determined. I want to prove to myself that I can set a small goal and be consistently focused on it until it becomes a real habit. If I fall off for a day, I'm right back on it the next day, trying to get back on track.

Remember....

No matter how many mistakes we make or how slow we progress, we are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying. ~Author Unknown

How I've Learned to Deal with My Mother's Mental Illness

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:36:00 +0000

I grew up in a Christian household for most of my life until early in my teen years, my mother became disillusioned with Christianity and began exploring other religions. One of the first changes I remember is that we started observing the Sabbath from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. I later came to understand that my mother (and therefore I) had adopted the faith of Judaism. We didn't eat dairy products or meat on the same day or on the same plates.   There were so many changes almost overnight, and I didn't understand where these drastic changes were coming from. I was so embarrassed by my new lifestyle and I hid it from my friends as much as possible.

My mother's unpredictable behavior was brought on by a mental illness that was undiagnosed at that time. Like most teenagers, I just wanted to fit in with everyone else but my mother's mounting emotional issues and religious confusion had a huge impact on me and made me feel like my life was anything but ordinary. I struggled with all of this as an adolescent trying to figure out life and my place in it.

So why am I telling you all this?

Because over the years I've come to appreciate that my unique experiences have added to my character and not detracted from it as I once thought. Most of us have some aspects of our lives that we are ashamed of or that we feel have damaged us in some way.

I want you to know that no matter what you've been through or how bad it seemed at the time, you don't have to cling to the idea that your experiences have broken you.   Everyone has a cross to bear. Everyone is dealing with something - no matter how perfect their lives may seem.    We all have disappointments and regret.

To this day, I feel rather isolated when I see my friends with their mothers bonding over motherhood and grown woman things. It's not like my mother has passed away, but mentally and emotionally she's not a presence in my life because of her illness. I still wonder, "Why does my mom have to be sick? Why can't I have a normal relationship with her?"

Are you struggling to accept something from your past or present that you can't change?   Do you feel isolated or unfavored in some way because of the cards you've been dealt? Consider the following:

Whatever you have been through in life, please realize that challenges aren't meant to punish us. They are meant to make us more loving, more faithful and and more aware that there is more going on than what meets the eye. How could we ever appreciate beauty if we never saw pain? Or how could we empathize with anyone, if we never went through our own struggles?

Remember, everything makes you more. Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Why You Shouldn’t Listen to Well-Meaning Folk

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:41:00 +0000

When are you getting married?

When are you having babies?

Weren’t you in law school? What happened?

You’re starting your own business?! But it’s a recession!

We’ve all gotten questions like these at one point or another. Seemingly harmless inquiries that can be, in fact, completely invasive and upsetting to the person expected to respond to them—for various reasons that are likely lost on the person inquiring.

The questions come from family, friends and other “well-meaning folk” with completely good intentions. They want to see us happy. To offer their experience and advice. To see us making the “right” decisions.

The problem is they are planting seeds, igniting insecurities, imposing timelines and setting additional traps on a road that’s probably a bit rocky for you already. They can’t just leave you alone because they think they are helping. What you view as probing and nay saying, they believe to be support.

Ouch. What a tough position to be in.

What you don’t want to do: be rude, shun their support or seem unappreciative.

What you DO want to do: stand firm in your conviction to do things in the way that feels right to you and to live your life on your own terms. Maybe he won’t marry you, maybe you’ll never have children, maybe you decided that law isn’t where your passion lies, and maybe your first attempt at your business will fail. But you will love again, you will find fulfillment in other familial relationships, you’ll develop a new skill and you’ll rebuild your business. Ultimately, you will gain life experience, learn invaluable lessons and discover your own strength and value. And isn’t that what the journey is really all about?

So it’s okay to accept their support, but decline to accept their opinions. It is okay to leave their questions unanswered until you have come to your own conclusions. It is okay to be secure in your decision to enjoy the ride and revel in the present without manipulation. It’s okay to daydream and to set goals without attaching anxiety to the future results. It is completely okay to NOT listen to the well meaning folk in your life. Your heart and your intuition will tell you everything you need to know. Listen to yourself.

Photo via Pinterest

Love Note - Friday 1/20/12

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:26:00 +0000

"Find Your Truth" Series - Part IX

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 20:00:00 +0000

In the ninth and final post of our ‘Find Your Truth’ series, Shaquetta shares some of her personal truths.

"Celebrate your progress.” -Shaquetta

This I Know to Be True About Relationships:

Relationships are awesome, but the first person you should be committed to is yourself. Self-commitment is the unconditional, ride-or-die, encouraging, supportive, fill-in-the-blank love for you. Relationships with others are essential to living. We need other people to survive and people who say they don’t need people need a hug. The way you treat other people and the way you allow them to treat you starts with how you treat yourself. There may be times where you have to remove yourself (temporarily or permanently) from relationships with whomever and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you love them any less but sometimes you have to check in with you. You can’t be good to anybody else if you don’t take care of yourself first. Unhealthy relationships are not sexy.

This I Know to Be True About Money:

SAVE, SAVE, SAVE--even if it’s five dollars--and don’t touch it! The keynote speaker at my honor society banquet told us he started saving for his retirement in his 20s and as soon as I got a job I was saving. If at all possible I’d like to retire sooner than later. Learning to manage your money in general is an extremely important skill for yourself and your future generations. Don’t lend any amount of money that you don’t feel comfortable with giving away. ‘No’ is a complete sentence.

This I Know to Be True About Natural Hair:

It is mine and God gave it to me this way! I won’t accept the idea that my hair is radical, unkempt, unprofessional, or anything other than my crown. Transitioning was scary at times but it’s been so worth it. Now I have nothing against chemical processing, that’s your choice, but my natural hair journey is a major inspiration for my spiritual journey.

This I Know to Be True About Service:

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE helping other people. It’s my passion; however, I’m starting to learn that it’s okay to allow people to be responsible for their own journeys. Sometimes helping others isn’t helping, it’s enabling. It almost feels as if I’m interfering with their lesson from God and I should be telling myself “BACK UP! BACK UP!...just mind ya business, that’s all, just mind ya business” and maybe that’s my lesson. Sometimes a simple prayer is all the helping I need to do.

This I Know to Be True About My Self:

No matter where I am, as long as I love me I’ll be okay. I have to be true to myself and sometimes that can be uncomfortable, but I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Click here to read all the entries in the Find Your Truth series.

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We are so grateful to all the women who participated and shared some of the things that have become true for them as they have navigated their journeys thus far. Each post was relatable and inspiring in its own way; and--we hope—just the spark you needed to discover some personal truths of your own.

photo via google images

Why You Should Stop Existing and Live in the Now

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 02:58:00 +0000

In this month's guest post, Pastor/Professor Lawrence Ware urges us to live, rather than simply existing.

Every morning, upon waking, Alexander the Great would have his servants tell him: One day soon you will die. This was not because Alexander the Great was morbid—for him, it was inspirational.

Dear reader, allow this to be a wake up call. Rich or poor, famous or a part of the hoi polloi, we all have a common denominator: death.

We like to think that the world will end without us. Once we are gone, we think that the Earth will stop rotating. The sky will darken. The world will freeze over.

It does not happen that way.

When we die, people will cry. They will be sad. They will post Facebook status messages about how we all need to value life—live each moment like it is our last. People will write on your Facebook wall and say how much they miss you. Silliness like “God needed another angel…” will be said—as if God needed anything. They will have your funeral, cry, and people will talk too long during the time for remarks. After it is all done, we will return to our lives; happens every time.

Why am I meditating upon death; because I want you to live. Not exist, live.

Do not live in the future. Do not put things off. Stop procrastinating.

Take that trip. Go back to school. If you love them, tell them. Notice the little things: the sound of laughter, the smell of spring, the feel of cold.

Live.

Death is certain. We do not know when, and we do not know where. All you have is this moment.

Right now: are you awake to life? Or are you just existing in it; suffering through. If so, then it is time to wake up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lawrence Ware is lecturing professor of philosophy at Oklahoma State University and Pastor of Christian Education at Prospect Church. He writes for Tikkun and Religion Dispatchers all while living in Oklahoma City with his wife and sons.

Photo via Pinterest

Don't Fix Me, Love Me

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:24:00 +0000

source

In the past, I've spent a lot of my energy feeling frustrated when my partner was not living up to my expectations.

When we love someone, we want what we think is best for them and often we don't understand their behaviors and hang ups.

We have to let people we love grow at their own pace. People do what they do until they have grown enough to do better. When we seek to change another person we set the stage for a great deal of conflict in our relationships. The following excerpt says it perfectly.

Very often we go into relationships with the idea that we can make somebody better. We see their flaws or shortcomings and take it upon ourselves to help them fix what is wrong.

Our task in our relationships is not to fix one another. Our job is to love what we see and support one another in doing better. Fixing is telling what is wrong, why and how to fix it. Supporting is allowing our loved ones to make their own choices, being there if things go wrong and supporting them in doing better the next time.

Fixing is forcing them to do it our way when their way doesn't work. Supporting is sharing our needs and trusting that they will take them into account. Fixing is nagging. Supporting is nurturing. Fixing is anger when things get rough. Supporting is knowing things will get better.

Supporting is seeing each other exactly as we are. Fixing is seeing in them what we refuse to see in ourselves. ~Author Unknown

Have you tried to "fix" your partner? From my experience, it causes nothing but frustration and resentment.

But how do you let go enough to let people grow on their own when you love them so much? Further, what do you do when the person's behavior is not just hurting them, but it's also having a detrimental impact on others? When is it time to step in or perhaps even walk away?

Love Note - Friday 1/13/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:59:00 +0000

"Find Your Truth" Series - Part VIII

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 20:12:00 +0000

In the eighth post of our ‘Find Your Truth’ series, Heather shares her truth on being a new mommy.

“..People look at children as being baggage, when in reality I see my daughter as a bonus :). She adds experience to my life and is part of the package. I think as a mom you have control over whether kids are baggage or a package, ya know?” - Heather

This I know to be true about Becoming a Parent:

My entire life I was told to get married and THEN have children. I assumed that’s how my future would unfold, especially since I was more focused on my education and my career than men. Don’t get me wrong. I did date. A lot. I just didn’t settle down and perhaps hit the snooze button on my biological clock. I also focused on my faith and “hoped” to one day abstain.

When some of my friends had children without rings on their fingers, I thought marriage, like a magic wand, would make their problems disappear. I didn’t really think about all the logistics in getting to the altar. At the time, I didn’t think I was pushing my agenda down their throats or judging their decision-making skills. I thought I was being a good friend by giving what I thought to be good advice.

Like the saying goes, you have to walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you can judge them. So when I got pregnant by a long-term boyfriend (not my husband), I got a pair of size nines (flats not heels, because at the end of my third trimester, my ankles were swollen!). I still wanted to get married. I wanted to ignore the red flags and arguments and walk down the aisle clutching a bouquet full of doubts. I didn’t want to change or put in any additional work. Heck, I was already exhausted, and my iron level dropped daily. I loved the father, and that’s all that matters, right? WRONG!

After many months and many tears, I realized that what may be ideal isn’t always realistic. Sometimes you have to make the best out of your situation, even if that means parenting under two roofs and maybe even marrying someone else. My situation isn’t perfect, but the result…my daughter…is :).

Click here to read the previous seven entries in the Find Your Truth series.

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Feel inspired to share some truths of your own? Send us an email at PeaceLovePrettyThings@gmail.com with the subject “My Truth” and let us know that you would like to be featured.

Photo via Pinterest

Lovely Links: Push and Soar

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 23:33:00 +0000

Kim and I have been so fortunate to connect with some truly inspiring women through this blog. Lilou, the creator of Push and Soar, is our latest find and we think you'll agree that her mission is in line with ours.

From her blog:

Push and Soar was created by Lilou, a visual artist who really understands the benefits as well as the struggles of working outside of a traditional 9-5 job. Thus she created this blog as a way to address these concerns as they pertain to herself and let others know that they are not alone on this journey to live their passion.

Lilou does a gratitude post every Monday where she shares something that she's thankful for. I also love the Weekly Nudge where she shares a quote or positive affirmation to keep you on the right track mid-week. She definitely speaks our language.

I love this excerpt from her post, Hero:

When hopelessness finds its way in our lives, it’s sometimes difficult to come out of it. We might feel that we don’t have the answers or means to come out of a bad situation, we don’t have the right resources but what I believe we often forget is that we are so much stronger, courageous and resourceful than we realize.

So when you find yourself in a bad situation, instead of wishing and hoping for someone to come to pull you out, remember your strength, courage, and resourcefulness. Remember you can be to yourself that that you wish others to be to you. Remember you can survive. Remember you can thrive. Remember you can be your own hero and you can save yourself.

One distinguishing factor of Push and Soar is that Lilou is an entrepreneur and is truly focused on encouraging women to follow their passion, even if that means separating from the security of a 9 to 5. In The Road Less Taken, she shares some of the challenges she's faced:

The decision to work outside of the traditional 9-5 setting didn't come easily. There are so many uncertainties that come along with it. Where, when and how will I get my next paycheck? How can I put my name out there? What will I do next? How will i do it? Besides all these questions that are sometimes hard to answer there are situations when the people in my life just don't seem to understand why I would decide to pursue this path filled of thorns, the road less taken.

But only those who dare to walk through the thorns and make a way for themselves can reap the rewards. The rewards can be amazing, maybe even bigger than what I anticipated but I have to believe in myself and believe in my dream. I have to keep pushing through my fears, push pass the obstacles, push even when my friends and my family don't get it. They don't have to get it. My dreams are my own and I have the right to pursue them. So I have to push even when nobody gets it. I have to PUSH and SOAR because that's my birthright!

Take a moment and visit her blog and subscribe. You can also find her on Twitter @PushnSoar. The more positivity in your blog reader and in your timeline, the better!

Showcase Your Inner Pretty: Practice Loving Everyone

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:39:00 +0000

We love our families, our friends and our romantic partners—that’s easy. The thing that takes work is practicing loving everyone else, and letting love be the conduit for our actions at all times.

When we think of love as general positive energy, in opposition to negativity, it becomes easier to see how we can love everyone we encounter. We send love out to everyone by practicing empathy, patience and understanding.

We practice loving everyone by being giving, and sharing what we have been blessed to have with those who are less fortunate; by being of service.

We are loving when we refrain from criticizing, gossip or speaking ill of those around us who fail to behave, look or think as we believe they should.

When we meet frustration with calm, and work to sort through the problem, we are love in practice.

It’s not always easy to offer that smile when we’re upset, to engage someone when we’re tired, or to excuse behavior that offends us—but it is possible….if we practice.

Affirmations

I choose to see this differently. I release my negativity and I choose to view life with a perspective of love and gratitude.

In every moment I have the opportunity to choose my thoughts; I choose thoughts filled with love and forgiveness.

I welcome energy, light and love into my heart today and I invite them to guide all my choices.

I recognize that their reaction to me isn’t about me at all. I choose to respond with love, knowing that they are suffering too.

I am love, and like attracts like.

Photo source: Pinterest

Love Note - Friday 1/6/12

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 17:44:00 +0000

"Find Your Truth" Series - Part VII

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:36:00 +0000

In the seventh post of our ‘Find Your Truth’ series, Linnyette shares some of her personal truths.

“I (just turned) 50....and feel as if I have some "wisdom" to share. The journey thus far has been interesting to say the least...” - Linnyette

Relationships: This I know to be true about RELATIONSHIPS - They are VITAL to our existence. From romantic to platonic - as humans, relationships are our way to connect and stay entwined. What I've also learned is that some relationships are meant to hurt us, so that we learn lessons from them. Some relationships are put into our lives to truly bring us joy… and others are placed in front of us so that we can give 'em the proverbial "side eye"..and keep things moving!!

Money: This I know to be true about MONEY: It is NOT the root of all evil. Money is a mechanism… a conduit of sorts. If you understand how money works, you'll allow it to work for YOU. My Nana always told me to keep my own stash of "little black money" - her terminology for "girl - always have your OWN cash". I work hard for my $$$$$ and I'm not going to allow anyone to take it from me.

Friendships: This I know to be true about FRIENDSHIPS: The right ones, the ones you will keep for life, are very much like the ebb and flow of the tides. When you have a great friend - you will always be in tune with them, and even if you don't chat for a minute or see each other face-to-face...the moment you "connect", it will be as if no time has passed and you'll pick up right from where you left off.

Men: This I know to be true about MEN: They're not a trip. They are an entire EXCURSION! Men are more sensitive than women, have the most fragile of egos, NEED affirmation and confirmation about their masculinity, are babies when they get sick, have the propensity to get MORE jealous than any woman ever could...yet they are the "yin" to our "yang", the link that completes our circle of life. In short - men are wonderfully complex, diversely different and a sight to behold. God did a good thing when He made 'em!!

Job/Career: This I know to be true about CAREER: It's what you make it. Whether you work a 9-5 or are an entrepreneur - you have to WANT to do the work - the hard, the exasperating, the complicated. At the end of the day - you need to be able to look at the fruits of your labor and be PROUD. And if you are trying to step out on your own to create an enterprise - stop hesitating and be like Nike: JUST DO IT!

When I started my business almost 20 years ago...it was a leap of faith. But I didn't want to have regrets...no "shoulda, woulda, coulda". Running my own show has been the best thing ever for me. It's given me an incredibly strong backbone, it's shown me that the American Dream is POSSIBLE and it's taught my kids that they too, can be their own boss. Most importantly - it's really defined my notion of "self". Through this experience, I've come to realize that I'm a pretty formidable chick. And that's a very good thing.

Children: This I know to be true about CHILDREN: They are miniature representations of who we are. While they carry our genetic strands...they also mirror our personalities. Being a mother - best thing ever for me! My children give me pause, give me reason to rationally think situations out, give me incentive to push harder. I look at my son and daughter...and I see me. I look at my children… and I see the future.

Diet: This I know to be true about DIET: You gotta love the skin you are in! When I was younger and before I had my kids… I was tiny...a single digit sista. But as I've gotten older - my body changed. At first, I lamented over the extra pounds, the bigger boobs and the double chin. I tried every diet you can name to get rid of those pounds....some would come off, but invariably - they would return. Now....I'm in the mode of being healthy and fit. And that's got nothing to do with my dress size.

Your Self: This I know to be true about SELF: There's only one of me. And I love her without question. I refuse to let anyone take me anywhere I don't want to go. The woman I am at 50 is a helluva lot different than the chica I was at 20. Man....I used to put up with some serious bullshaat… not any more. I have learned that people only do to you - what you ALLOW them to. So… in my world, I don't tolerate the crazy, the foolish, the stupid, the ignorant. Anyone who comes at me with that mess is promptly shown the "door". That's my rule - and I'm sticking to it!!!!

Click here to read the previous six entries in the Find Your Truth series.

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Feel inspired to share some truths of your own? Send us an email at PeaceLovePrettyThings@gmail.com with the subject “My Truth” and let us know that you would like to be featured.

Image via Pinterest