Peace Love and Pretty Things

Love Note - Friday 1/27/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:02:00 +0000

Upgrade Your Life: How to Become an Early Riser

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:48:00 +0000

At any given time, I'm sure I could name at least ten things about my life that I would like to change. Don't get me wrong - I appreciate my life and I focus more on what's right than what's wrong. I know how important it is to be content with where I am right now.  But we're all works in progress and life is always willing to teach us more about what our strengths and weaknesses are.  It may sound contradictory - saying I want to change and be content with myself at the same time - but that's my reality.

There is always going to be some area of our lives that feels neglected. And I've discovered that taking the time to pay attention to these neglected things, even in a small way, makes me feel more appreciative, more fulfilled and definitely more confident.

In this new series, "Upgrade Your Life", we'll give suggestions for how you can make small, gradual changes to impact your life in a big way. No matter what it is you want to do, there are baby steps you can take to get there.

This first post is focused on How to Become an Early Riser.

I've never been a morning person. Almost every morning is rushed and frantic. I rarely have time to eat breakfast before I get to work. I often find myself snapping at the kids and rushing them because I'm running late. This pattern has been bothering me for awhile.

I often think about how I can steal away a little more time to myself. It finally occurred to me that I need to start getting up earlier. I want to have at least one hour to myself each morning to exercise, write, meditate or do whatever my heart desires before everyone gets up. This is a way for me to start the day with me, myself and I and get centered before I face the day. This is no small task for me, as I've always been a late to bed, late to rise kind of person. And yet I'm convinced that this change, daunting as it may seem, will be worth it.

Here's my 5 step plan:

1) Go to bed early enough to get X hours of sleep. You probably know how much sleep you need to function at your best. I need about 7 hours most nights. I can get away with 5 - 6 sometimes, but I try not to make a habit of that. If getting up early is a real priority, then you'll do what you have to do and make the necessary sacrifices to get to bed.

2) Get up at the designated time no matter what. To start off, I'm just focusing on getting up at 5 am. I won't put any pressure on myself to get up and do this or do that. This way I won't feel overwhelmed. Just the effort of getting up at 5 am and staying up is an accomplishment for me. When I get up, I make myself leave my bedroom.  I keep an alarm next to my bed and one over by the door. That way I can't rationalize as I continue to lay there in the warm bed.

3) Express the importance of this project to the family. It's surprising how much support you get when you let it be known that you need it. I told my family about this effort and how it was a serious thing for me, and they didn't laugh at me! When my alarm goes off now, my honey nudges me and tells me to get up. His support helps tremendously.

4) Focus on what you will get out of it. When I say focus, I mean somewhat obsess over it. I'm doodling "5 AM" all over my journal. I'm writing about it. I'm talking about it. I'm thinking about how I will feel during that early morning hour to myself....what I'll do...how proud of myself I will be...how this morning treat will positively affect the rest of my day.

5) Don't beat yourself up or give up when you oversleep. Everyday last week I had the intention of getting up at 5 am and I didn't achieve it not once. It was very discouraging but I kept trying. This week has been much better.   I'm determined. I want to prove to myself that I can set a small goal and be consistently focused on it until it becomes a real habit. If I fall off for a day, I'm right back on it the next day, trying to get back on track.

Remember....

No matter how many mistakes we make or how slow we progress, we are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying. ~Author Unknown

How I've Learned to Deal with My Mother's Mental Illness

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:36:00 +0000

I grew up in a Christian household for most of my life until early in my teen years, my mother became disillusioned with Christianity and began exploring other religions. One of the first changes I remember is that we started observing the Sabbath from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. I later came to understand that my mother (and therefore I) had adopted the faith of Judaism. We didn't eat dairy products or meat on the same day or on the same plates.   There were so many changes almost overnight, and I didn't understand where these drastic changes were coming from. I was so embarrassed by my new lifestyle and I hid it from my friends as much as possible.

My mother's unpredictable behavior was brought on by a mental illness that was undiagnosed at that time. Like most teenagers, I just wanted to fit in with everyone else but my mother's mounting emotional issues and religious confusion had a huge impact on me and made me feel like my life was anything but ordinary. I struggled with all of this as an adolescent trying to figure out life and my place in it.

So why am I telling you all this?

Because over the years I've come to appreciate that my unique experiences have added to my character and not detracted from it as I once thought. Most of us have some aspects of our lives that we are ashamed of or that we feel have damaged us in some way.

I want you to know that no matter what you've been through or how bad it seemed at the time, you don't have to cling to the idea that your experiences have broken you.   Everyone has a cross to bear. Everyone is dealing with something - no matter how perfect their lives may seem.    We all have disappointments and regret.

To this day, I feel rather isolated when I see my friends with their mothers bonding over motherhood and grown woman things. It's not like my mother has passed away, but mentally and emotionally she's not a presence in my life because of her illness. I still wonder, "Why does my mom have to be sick? Why can't I have a normal relationship with her?"

Are you struggling to accept something from your past or present that you can't change?   Do you feel isolated or unfavored in some way because of the cards you've been dealt? Consider the following:

Whatever you have been through in life, please realize that challenges aren't meant to punish us. They are meant to make us more loving, more faithful and and more aware that there is more going on than what meets the eye. How could we ever appreciate beauty if we never saw pain? Or how could we empathize with anyone, if we never went through our own struggles?

Remember, everything makes you more. Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Why You Shouldn’t Listen to Well-Meaning Folk

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:41:00 +0000

When are you getting married?

When are you having babies?

Weren’t you in law school? What happened?

You’re starting your own business?! But it’s a recession!

We’ve all gotten questions like these at one point or another. Seemingly harmless inquiries that can be, in fact, completely invasive and upsetting to the person expected to respond to them—for various reasons that are likely lost on the person inquiring.

The questions come from family, friends and other “well-meaning folk” with completely good intentions. They want to see us happy. To offer their experience and advice. To see us making the “right” decisions.

The problem is they are planting seeds, igniting insecurities, imposing timelines and setting additional traps on a road that’s probably a bit rocky for you already. They can’t just leave you alone because they think they are helping. What you view as probing and nay saying, they believe to be support.

Ouch. What a tough position to be in.

What you don’t want to do: be rude, shun their support or seem unappreciative.

What you DO want to do: stand firm in your conviction to do things in the way that feels right to you and to live your life on your own terms. Maybe he won’t marry you, maybe you’ll never have children, maybe you decided that law isn’t where your passion lies, and maybe your first attempt at your business will fail. But you will love again, you will find fulfillment in other familial relationships, you’ll develop a new skill and you’ll rebuild your business. Ultimately, you will gain life experience, learn invaluable lessons and discover your own strength and value. And isn’t that what the journey is really all about?

So it’s okay to accept their support, but decline to accept their opinions. It is okay to leave their questions unanswered until you have come to your own conclusions. It is okay to be secure in your decision to enjoy the ride and revel in the present without manipulation. It’s okay to daydream and to set goals without attaching anxiety to the future results. It is completely okay to NOT listen to the well meaning folk in your life. Your heart and your intuition will tell you everything you need to know. Listen to yourself.

Photo via Pinterest

Love Note - Friday 1/20/12

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:26:00 +0000

"Find Your Truth" Series - Part IX

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 20:00:00 +0000

In the ninth and final post of our ‘Find Your Truth’ series, Shaquetta shares some of her personal truths.

"Celebrate your progress.” -Shaquetta

This I Know to Be True About Relationships:

Relationships are awesome, but the first person you should be committed to is yourself. Self-commitment is the unconditional, ride-or-die, encouraging, supportive, fill-in-the-blank love for you. Relationships with others are essential to living. We need other people to survive and people who say they don’t need people need a hug. The way you treat other people and the way you allow them to treat you starts with how you treat yourself. There may be times where you have to remove yourself (temporarily or permanently) from relationships with whomever and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you love them any less but sometimes you have to check in with you. You can’t be good to anybody else if you don’t take care of yourself first. Unhealthy relationships are not sexy.

This I Know to Be True About Money:

SAVE, SAVE, SAVE--even if it’s five dollars--and don’t touch it! The keynote speaker at my honor society banquet told us he started saving for his retirement in his 20s and as soon as I got a job I was saving. If at all possible I’d like to retire sooner than later. Learning to manage your money in general is an extremely important skill for yourself and your future generations. Don’t lend any amount of money that you don’t feel comfortable with giving away. ‘No’ is a complete sentence.

This I Know to Be True About Natural Hair:

It is mine and God gave it to me this way! I won’t accept the idea that my hair is radical, unkempt, unprofessional, or anything other than my crown. Transitioning was scary at times but it’s been so worth it. Now I have nothing against chemical processing, that’s your choice, but my natural hair journey is a major inspiration for my spiritual journey.

This I Know to Be True About Service:

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE helping other people. It’s my passion; however, I’m starting to learn that it’s okay to allow people to be responsible for their own journeys. Sometimes helping others isn’t helping, it’s enabling. It almost feels as if I’m interfering with their lesson from God and I should be telling myself “BACK UP! BACK UP!...just mind ya business, that’s all, just mind ya business” and maybe that’s my lesson. Sometimes a simple prayer is all the helping I need to do.

This I Know to Be True About My Self:

No matter where I am, as long as I love me I’ll be okay. I have to be true to myself and sometimes that can be uncomfortable, but I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Click here to read all the entries in the Find Your Truth series.

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We are so grateful to all the women who participated and shared some of the things that have become true for them as they have navigated their journeys thus far. Each post was relatable and inspiring in its own way; and--we hope—just the spark you needed to discover some personal truths of your own.

photo via google images

Why You Should Stop Existing and Live in the Now

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 02:58:00 +0000

In this month's guest post, Pastor/Professor Lawrence Ware urges us to live, rather than simply existing.

Every morning, upon waking, Alexander the Great would have his servants tell him: One day soon you will die. This was not because Alexander the Great was morbid—for him, it was inspirational.

Dear reader, allow this to be a wake up call. Rich or poor, famous or a part of the hoi polloi, we all have a common denominator: death.

We like to think that the world will end without us. Once we are gone, we think that the Earth will stop rotating. The sky will darken. The world will freeze over.

It does not happen that way.

When we die, people will cry. They will be sad. They will post Facebook status messages about how we all need to value life—live each moment like it is our last. People will write on your Facebook wall and say how much they miss you. Silliness like “God needed another angel…” will be said—as if God needed anything. They will have your funeral, cry, and people will talk too long during the time for remarks. After it is all done, we will return to our lives; happens every time.

Why am I meditating upon death; because I want you to live. Not exist, live.

Do not live in the future. Do not put things off. Stop procrastinating.

Take that trip. Go back to school. If you love them, tell them. Notice the little things: the sound of laughter, the smell of spring, the feel of cold.

Live.

Death is certain. We do not know when, and we do not know where. All you have is this moment.

Right now: are you awake to life? Or are you just existing in it; suffering through. If so, then it is time to wake up.

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Lawrence Ware is lecturing professor of philosophy at Oklahoma State University and Pastor of Christian Education at Prospect Church. He writes for Tikkun and Religion Dispatchers all while living in Oklahoma City with his wife and sons.

Photo via Pinterest

Don't Fix Me, Love Me

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:24:00 +0000

source

In the past, I've spent a lot of my energy feeling frustrated when my partner was not living up to my expectations.

When we love someone, we want what we think is best for them and often we don't understand their behaviors and hang ups.

We have to let people we love grow at their own pace. People do what they do until they have grown enough to do better. When we seek to change another person we set the stage for a great deal of conflict in our relationships. The following excerpt says it perfectly.

Very often we go into relationships with the idea that we can make somebody better. We see their flaws or shortcomings and take it upon ourselves to help them fix what is wrong.

Our task in our relationships is not to fix one another. Our job is to love what we see and support one another in doing better. Fixing is telling what is wrong, why and how to fix it. Supporting is allowing our loved ones to make their own choices, being there if things go wrong and supporting them in doing better the next time.

Fixing is forcing them to do it our way when their way doesn't work. Supporting is sharing our needs and trusting that they will take them into account. Fixing is nagging. Supporting is nurturing. Fixing is anger when things get rough. Supporting is knowing things will get better.

Supporting is seeing each other exactly as we are. Fixing is seeing in them what we refuse to see in ourselves. ~Author Unknown

Have you tried to "fix" your partner? From my experience, it causes nothing but frustration and resentment.

But how do you let go enough to let people grow on their own when you love them so much? Further, what do you do when the person's behavior is not just hurting them, but it's also having a detrimental impact on others? When is it time to step in or perhaps even walk away?

Love Note - Friday 1/13/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:59:00 +0000

"Find Your Truth" Series - Part VIII

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 20:12:00 +0000

In the eighth post of our ‘Find Your Truth’ series, Heather shares her truth on being a new mommy.

“..People look at children as being baggage, when in reality I see my daughter as a bonus :). She adds experience to my life and is part of the package. I think as a mom you have control over whether kids are baggage or a package, ya know?” - Heather

This I know to be true about Becoming a Parent:

My entire life I was told to get married and THEN have children. I assumed that’s how my future would unfold, especially since I was more focused on my education and my career than men. Don’t get me wrong. I did date. A lot. I just didn’t settle down and perhaps hit the snooze button on my biological clock. I also focused on my faith and “hoped” to one day abstain.

When some of my friends had children without rings on their fingers, I thought marriage, like a magic wand, would make their problems disappear. I didn’t really think about all the logistics in getting to the altar. At the time, I didn’t think I was pushing my agenda down their throats or judging their decision-making skills. I thought I was being a good friend by giving what I thought to be good advice.

Like the saying goes, you have to walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you can judge them. So when I got pregnant by a long-term boyfriend (not my husband), I got a pair of size nines (flats not heels, because at the end of my third trimester, my ankles were swollen!). I still wanted to get married. I wanted to ignore the red flags and arguments and walk down the aisle clutching a bouquet full of doubts. I didn’t want to change or put in any additional work. Heck, I was already exhausted, and my iron level dropped daily. I loved the father, and that’s all that matters, right? WRONG!

After many months and many tears, I realized that what may be ideal isn’t always realistic. Sometimes you have to make the best out of your situation, even if that means parenting under two roofs and maybe even marrying someone else. My situation isn’t perfect, but the result…my daughter…is :).

Click here to read the previous seven entries in the Find Your Truth series.

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Feel inspired to share some truths of your own? Send us an email at PeaceLovePrettyThings@gmail.com with the subject “My Truth” and let us know that you would like to be featured.

Photo via Pinterest

Lovely Links: Push and Soar

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 23:33:00 +0000

Kim and I have been so fortunate to connect with some truly inspiring women through this blog. Lilou, the creator of Push and Soar, is our latest find and we think you'll agree that her mission is in line with ours.

From her blog:

Push and Soar was created by Lilou, a visual artist who really understands the benefits as well as the struggles of working outside of a traditional 9-5 job. Thus she created this blog as a way to address these concerns as they pertain to herself and let others know that they are not alone on this journey to live their passion.

Lilou does a gratitude post every Monday where she shares something that she's thankful for. I also love the Weekly Nudge where she shares a quote or positive affirmation to keep you on the right track mid-week. She definitely speaks our language.

I love this excerpt from her post, Hero:

When hopelessness finds its way in our lives, it’s sometimes difficult to come out of it. We might feel that we don’t have the answers or means to come out of a bad situation, we don’t have the right resources but what I believe we often forget is that we are so much stronger, courageous and resourceful than we realize.

So when you find yourself in a bad situation, instead of wishing and hoping for someone to come to pull you out, remember your strength, courage, and resourcefulness. Remember you can be to yourself that that you wish others to be to you. Remember you can survive. Remember you can thrive. Remember you can be your own hero and you can save yourself.

One distinguishing factor of Push and Soar is that Lilou is an entrepreneur and is truly focused on encouraging women to follow their passion, even if that means separating from the security of a 9 to 5. In The Road Less Taken, she shares some of the challenges she's faced:

The decision to work outside of the traditional 9-5 setting didn't come easily. There are so many uncertainties that come along with it. Where, when and how will I get my next paycheck? How can I put my name out there? What will I do next? How will i do it? Besides all these questions that are sometimes hard to answer there are situations when the people in my life just don't seem to understand why I would decide to pursue this path filled of thorns, the road less taken.

But only those who dare to walk through the thorns and make a way for themselves can reap the rewards. The rewards can be amazing, maybe even bigger than what I anticipated but I have to believe in myself and believe in my dream. I have to keep pushing through my fears, push pass the obstacles, push even when my friends and my family don't get it. They don't have to get it. My dreams are my own and I have the right to pursue them. So I have to push even when nobody gets it. I have to PUSH and SOAR because that's my birthright!

Take a moment and visit her blog and subscribe. You can also find her on Twitter @PushnSoar. The more positivity in your blog reader and in your timeline, the better!

Showcase Your Inner Pretty: Practice Loving Everyone

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:39:00 +0000

We love our families, our friends and our romantic partners—that’s easy. The thing that takes work is practicing loving everyone else, and letting love be the conduit for our actions at all times.

When we think of love as general positive energy, in opposition to negativity, it becomes easier to see how we can love everyone we encounter. We send love out to everyone by practicing empathy, patience and understanding.

We practice loving everyone by being giving, and sharing what we have been blessed to have with those who are less fortunate; by being of service.

We are loving when we refrain from criticizing, gossip or speaking ill of those around us who fail to behave, look or think as we believe they should.

When we meet frustration with calm, and work to sort through the problem, we are love in practice.

It’s not always easy to offer that smile when we’re upset, to engage someone when we’re tired, or to excuse behavior that offends us—but it is possible….if we practice.

Affirmations

I choose to see this differently. I release my negativity and I choose to view life with a perspective of love and gratitude.

In every moment I have the opportunity to choose my thoughts; I choose thoughts filled with love and forgiveness.

I welcome energy, light and love into my heart today and I invite them to guide all my choices.

I recognize that their reaction to me isn’t about me at all. I choose to respond with love, knowing that they are suffering too.

I am love, and like attracts like.

Photo source: Pinterest

Love Note - Friday 1/6/12

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 17:44:00 +0000

"Find Your Truth" Series - Part VII

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:36:00 +0000

In the seventh post of our ‘Find Your Truth’ series, Linnyette shares some of her personal truths.

“I (just turned) 50....and feel as if I have some "wisdom" to share. The journey thus far has been interesting to say the least...” - Linnyette

Relationships: This I know to be true about RELATIONSHIPS - They are VITAL to our existence. From romantic to platonic - as humans, relationships are our way to connect and stay entwined. What I've also learned is that some relationships are meant to hurt us, so that we learn lessons from them. Some relationships are put into our lives to truly bring us joy… and others are placed in front of us so that we can give 'em the proverbial "side eye"..and keep things moving!!

Money: This I know to be true about MONEY: It is NOT the root of all evil. Money is a mechanism… a conduit of sorts. If you understand how money works, you'll allow it to work for YOU. My Nana always told me to keep my own stash of "little black money" - her terminology for "girl - always have your OWN cash". I work hard for my $$$$$ and I'm not going to allow anyone to take it from me.

Friendships: This I know to be true about FRIENDSHIPS: The right ones, the ones you will keep for life, are very much like the ebb and flow of the tides. When you have a great friend - you will always be in tune with them, and even if you don't chat for a minute or see each other face-to-face...the moment you "connect", it will be as if no time has passed and you'll pick up right from where you left off.

Men: This I know to be true about MEN: They're not a trip. They are an entire EXCURSION! Men are more sensitive than women, have the most fragile of egos, NEED affirmation and confirmation about their masculinity, are babies when they get sick, have the propensity to get MORE jealous than any woman ever could...yet they are the "yin" to our "yang", the link that completes our circle of life. In short - men are wonderfully complex, diversely different and a sight to behold. God did a good thing when He made 'em!!

Job/Career: This I know to be true about CAREER: It's what you make it. Whether you work a 9-5 or are an entrepreneur - you have to WANT to do the work - the hard, the exasperating, the complicated. At the end of the day - you need to be able to look at the fruits of your labor and be PROUD. And if you are trying to step out on your own to create an enterprise - stop hesitating and be like Nike: JUST DO IT!

When I started my business almost 20 years ago...it was a leap of faith. But I didn't want to have regrets...no "shoulda, woulda, coulda". Running my own show has been the best thing ever for me. It's given me an incredibly strong backbone, it's shown me that the American Dream is POSSIBLE and it's taught my kids that they too, can be their own boss. Most importantly - it's really defined my notion of "self". Through this experience, I've come to realize that I'm a pretty formidable chick. And that's a very good thing.

Children: This I know to be true about CHILDREN: They are miniature representations of who we are. While they carry our genetic strands...they also mirror our personalities. Being a mother - best thing ever for me! My children give me pause, give me reason to rationally think situations out, give me incentive to push harder. I look at my son and daughter...and I see me. I look at my children… and I see the future.

Diet: This I know to be true about DIET: You gotta love the skin you are in! When I was younger and before I had my kids… I was tiny...a single digit sista. But as I've gotten older - my body changed. At first, I lamented over the extra pounds, the bigger boobs and the double chin. I tried every diet you can name to get rid of those pounds....some would come off, but invariably - they would return. Now....I'm in the mode of being healthy and fit. And that's got nothing to do with my dress size.

Your Self: This I know to be true about SELF: There's only one of me. And I love her without question. I refuse to let anyone take me anywhere I don't want to go. The woman I am at 50 is a helluva lot different than the chica I was at 20. Man....I used to put up with some serious bullshaat… not any more. I have learned that people only do to you - what you ALLOW them to. So… in my world, I don't tolerate the crazy, the foolish, the stupid, the ignorant. Anyone who comes at me with that mess is promptly shown the "door". That's my rule - and I'm sticking to it!!!!

Click here to read the previous six entries in the Find Your Truth series.

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Feel inspired to share some truths of your own? Send us an email at PeaceLovePrettyThings@gmail.com with the subject “My Truth” and let us know that you would like to be featured.

Image via Pinterest

PLPT Reading List - January

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 22:14:00 +0000

Read

In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want

I don't remember who gave me this book years ago, but I can tell you that it sat on my bookshelf for months if not years before I ever picked it up. Terms like "finding yourself" sounded so cheesy to me when I got this book and I just wasn't in a place yet where I wanted to explore it. I wish now that I could thank that person, because this book was one of the biggest eye openers of my young adult life.

Iyanla Vanzant speaks candidly about her experiences with life and loving relationships - including the one with self. I remember reading this book and wondering how she could possibly know my initimate feelings so well. I was so lost at the time: self-destructive, co-dependent, unhappy and unaware.

Many of us are brought up focusing on pleasing everyone around us and thinking that our worth is based on what others think of us. This book is about clearing out all of the negative emotions and perceptions that we develop growing up, so that we can see ourselves clearly and develop our own sense of self. It's not easy to take the blinders off and sort through the behavioral patterns that are holding us back, but this book helped me to break down mental barriers that I didn't even know were there.

My copy is now worn out with yellowed pages and highlights and scribble throughout. You can purchase your copy here.

To Read

This I Believe: The Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women

I first saw this book on the desk of one of my coworkers and was immediately intrigued. I'm fascinated with life and spirituality and how people make sense of this crazy world that we live in. Here's a quick description of the book:

Based on the NPR series of the same name, This I Believe features eighty Americans--from the famous to the unknown--completing the thought that the book's title begins. Each piece compels readers to rethink not only how they have arrived at their own personal beliefs but also the extent to which they share them with others.

The result is a stirring and provocative trip inside the minds and hearts of a diverse group of people whose beliefs--and the incredibly varied ways in which they choose to express them--reveal the American spirit at its best.

This book is sitting on my bookshelf waiting to be read. As I become more and more comfortable with my own unique beliefs and my approach to life, it only increases my interest in other people's stories. Have you read this book? You can read more about this book and other This I Believe books by Dan Gediman by clicking here.

PLPT GEMS: Meet Tarin

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 03:50:00 +0000

PLPT GEMS Presents

Tarin Boone

Naturalista. New Media Maven. Trailblazer.

Tell us about your natural hair journey. Have you always been natural or did you transition or BC?

I have been natural going on six years in April 2012. My last relaxer was for my senior prom in May 2005. I transitioned for 11 months and cut my past shoulder length relaxed hair off to just at my ear lobes. I was inspired by nappturality.com.

You now run a very successful event, ‘Fro Fashion Week, which occurs twice per year in Atlanta, GA. What inspired you to launch a full scale natural hair event?

I was inspired by New York Fashion Week and reading the history. I felt no one says “hey these are the trends for natural hair” outside of little articles here and there. I didn't want ‘Fro Fashion Week to be another hair show or expo. I grew up in event planning and expos and I know what it entails to set one up so I wanted to come completely from left field with ‘Fro Fashion Week. It's upscale, it's new media, and it’s FUN. I wanted to take the natural hair conversation out of convention centers and restaurants, and off the computer -- into a production almost.

‘Fro Fashion Week has created quite a buzz throughout the natural hair community; you have major bloggers, brands, speakers and sponsors involved; and you draw attendance from all over the country. Is this the vision that you had when you were starting out? How did you know you had an idea--and a plan--that would work?

Yes this is exactly how I envisioned it. What was a surprise, though, was the international audience. I'm now getting travel visa inquiries from women in various countries in Africa such as Nigeria, South Africa, and Ghana. We had women come from Jamaica and Bermuda--that was truly mind blowing. I'm still learning and growing and tweaking what works, what could be expanded. I have an end result in mind and now that it has been launched and has a track record I'm just building on the foundation.

Is running ‘Fro Fashion Week your full time career? How do you balance it with your other responsibilities? What advice would you offer to others about achieving balance?

‘Fro Fashion Week is just a branch of my company. It is becoming a huge branch but it is a subsidiary of my company Naturally Me! Media LLC which is comprised of a free mobile app, resource website: naturallymemedia.com, online social network: curlfriendscity.com, naturalhairproductdeals.com and naturalhairevents.com It can be very challenging juggling all of those hats but I am a master at multi tasking. I like the challenge because I hate monotony.

Who is your support system? How do they contribute to your passion?

My support system is definitely my family and fiancé. They could have just let me go out and attempt all my crazy ideas on my own but whenever I need them they are right there, sleeves rolled up and ready to work to make the vision come to life. In business, people always have their own agendas and motives but I know at all times my family has my best interest at heart; and that they are willing to fight and carry out my dream just like I am. I keep them very close. My mom instills all the event planning and business knowledge in me and also helps me set limits. I am very creative and can often times get caught up in my imagination; she is there to bring me back to reality and hone in the general concept I'm going for. My mom was the one who, while I was beginning to get depressed about not finding a job after college, told me to create my own job. I could always go work for someone but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

What is the most fulfilling aspect of being in business for yourself?

The most fulfilling and the scariest part is knowing that you don't have to answer to anyone. It's very empowering because you are the decision maker. It's also very scary and nerve wracking because those decisions--good or bad--fall back on you and you have to be accountable for them.

What advice would you offer to others who are searching for their purpose or are afraid to take the first step towards their dreams?

Pray and be still. It's hard to make a decision on what you need to do in your life if you are constantly asking other people or making yourself busy. I was put in a place where I had no choice but to be still. God completely slowed me down for 6 months after I graduated college: no work, no money, no job offers… just in a wilderness. If your life feels like that, now is the time to pray and look at skills you already possess. Take stock of what you innately know, what you have learned maybe through school or formal training, and skills other people may compliment you on. What I find, is that the answer is normally right in front of you. By the time you reach that still place and can be reflective over your life you will start to see how things along your life path were set up to be used for this very moment. Once you step out on faith God will send you the tools and people you need that to complete the project.

How can our readers connect with you?

Online at NaturallyMeMedia.com and 'FroFashionWeek.com; on YouTube; on Twitter: @naturalmemedia and @'Frofashionweek and on Facebook.

The Last Love Note of 2011 - Friday 12/23/11

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 13:00:00 +0000

Happy Friday! Kim and I want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for reading our blog and sharing this journey with us. We'll be on vacation for the next week or so and will resume posting on January 2. We hope you enjoy the holiday and welcome the new year with open arms.

Isn't it amazing how time seems to fly by? This time of year always makes me especially nostalgic. The songs, the movies, the traditions from my childhood are all very fresh in my mind. Now that I have my own family and we're creating our own memories and traditions, I'm trying to savor all of it and be present through all the phases of my life.

During this season, we hope that you will take time to reflect on where you've been, where you are and where you're going. Release any limiting thoughts that you are harboring and be open to change. Whatever your situation is, commit yourself to living a purposeful life and keep believing in yourself.

We'll talk soon!

Love, GG and Kim

"Find Your Truth" Series - Part VI

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 21:38:00 +0000

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In the sixth post of our ‘Find Your Truth’ series, Jess shares some of her personal truths.

“I love me. I couldn't always say that. I'm proud of how far I have come.” – Jess

This I know to be true about Relationships:

Relationships are blessings. Even the bad ones, they teach us something about ourselves and the things we look for in others are the things we love and revere. I've learned that when it comes to romantic relationships, it takes two people who are committed to God's word (first) and each other for as long as it’s right. I've learned that the best relationships make you feel the most free. In the relationships that I would consider "bad" I can say that I felt constrained or confined to be a certain way; and conditional love or affection is a horrible foundation for a lasting relationship. Irony that we become the most free when we feel it’s safe to do so, so which comes first? Relationships are reflections, of us of God and of our hearts at any particular time in this life.

This I know to be true about Money:

Money is nothing more than a tool. I do not revere it, nor do I loathe it. It is something that we as humans have assigned value, but how much value it holds is up to the individual. I think it is important to save and I think it is important to spend, I believe in most things. Everybody may not have money but everyone has something of value and what we do with that precious currency shapes the direction of our life. Money comes and goes, love lasts.

This I know to be true about Friendships:

Well lately I've learned that friendships are only as strong as the commitment each person has to it. I absolutely love and adore my girlfriends; I rely on them for many things and vice versa. It takes a long time to develop really good solid friendships as with any relationship it takes love, communication, trust, honesty, respect, and commitment. Sometimes friendships wax and wane, but those sacred few will remain close because they are just as integral to you as your next breath or your heart beat.

This I know to be true about Family:

Family is everything; the ultimate teacher of love, acceptance, forgiveness, and all those virtues that serve us well in life. We can give up on friends, we can break up with boyfriends, but family will always have hooks in us, ties to us. They are the greatest learning tool there is.

This I know to be true about My Self:

I'm full of dichotomy and conflict. Sometimes I don't make sense and sometimes I speak straight to the core. As I grow up I am becoming more and more okay with my mess. I've been letting my ego (fear) run my life for so long that operating out of love and faith (God) sometimes proves to be difficult but every day I start again and keep trying. I am resilient, I am steadfast, I am stubborn and imperfect and I love me. I couldn't always say that. I'm proud of how far I have come.

You can further connect with Jess at her blog, Sincerely, Jess.

Click here to read the previous five entries in the Find Your Truth series.

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We hope Jess' insight has inspired you to share your truths with us as well. Feel free to discuss in the comments section, or to email us at peaceloveprettythings@gmail.com with the subject "My Truth" and let us know that you would like to be featured.

Spirituality is a Journey, Not a Destination

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 17:23:00 +0000

In this month's guest post, Pastor/Professor Lawrence Ware discusses having certainty of beliefs surrounding divinity.

A part of philosophical reflection involves the reevaluation of concepts and notions formerly taken for granted. For example, many people inherit racial or political ideas from their parents without really evaluating if these ideas are logically consistent or helpful. For many of them, just because their parents taught it means that the idea they have inherited must be correct. Or conversely, just because their parents taught it, the idea must be incorrect. This is especially true of religious belief—there is no middle ground, they think: either the Bible is infallible or it is worthless. Either Christianity is wholly correct, or completely wrong.

Most times, it is neither—spirituality, like all else in life, is about the journey, not the destination.

Growing up, there were so many things about which I was certain: the Bible was true, Jesus was the only way to God, and hell was completely compatible with the notion of a loving God.

Then I started thinking: Gandhi was not Christian, is he a bad person because of it? What about people who never hear of Jesus, will they go to hell also?

I began to realize that certainty about beliefs is not a good thing. As we grow, as we mature, we change. We would be concerned if a child stopped growing; if we did not age; if seasons did not change. We should be equally concerned if our beliefs and ideas do not change as well. To change is a sign of growth—not weakness.

Spirituality is not acquiescence to static dogma or intellectual certitude about theological truths—it is a conversation between us and the divine. When we come to a place of certainty about the divine, we stop listening. Anything that sounds different, new, or radical is a threat to our certainty.

We must not live that way, for God still speaks—and we must be open to new ways of seeing the divine.

This might mean reevaluating what we have traditionally learned in church—or realizing that when we left a religious community, we actually lost something of value. If we desire to grow spiritually, we must be open to change. What we do not know is far less dangerous to us than what we think we do.

Lawrence Ware is lecturing professor of philosophy at Oklahoma State University and Pastor of Christian Education at Prospect Church. He writes for Tikkun and Religion Dispatchers all while living in Oklahoma City with his wife and sons.

Holding Myself Accountable: The 3 Lame Excuses I Use to Avoid Exercising

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:13:00 +0000

source

"Discipline means doing what needs to be done, even when you don't want to."

I hate to admit it but I have really fallen off when it comes to exercising on a regular basis. I have fits and starts where I'll get motivated and go for a jog or do an exercise DVD at home. But overall, I've been very inconsistent and I'm always making excuses (to myself) as to why I "don't have time" to exercise.

Excuse #1

I do my hair pretty much every Sunday, so the last thing I want to do is sweat it out. I have natural hair, so one would think that this would give me more flexibility. I guess it depends on how I'm wearing it. The most ideal hairstyle (for me) to wear when I'm working out is a bun or some type of protective style. That way I don't have to worry about tangles or having to re-straighten or re-twist. So, what's the problem then? The problem comes back to my priorities. If I were making my health a priority (over my hairstyle) then I'd make sure that my hairstyle did not inhibit my work out.   It's very simple. But I make it hard.

Excuse #2

I belong to a gym at my job and most of my coworkers go to the gym or go outside to run during lunch at least 3-4 times a week. So, I have the facilities, I have the encouragement of my peers, and I still don't go. If I'm not going out to lunch, then I'm typically at my desk writing during my lunch hour. With my full-time night job of mom to three, I rarely have time to write at home during the week. While writing is definitely a worthwhile priority, I realize that my health is still more important. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.  I should be able to alternate how I spend my lunch time so that I'm able to accommodate both of these positive outlets.

Excuse #3

Finally, I know I've had a hard time getting started because I'm afraid that I won't stick with it (again). I truly want to be toned and in shape and have more energy, but I don't want to do the work to make it happen. I remember there was a time when missing a day at the gym was torture! I was so into it and I looked forward to working out everyday. To go from that, to where I am now is pretty discouraging. How do I know that I won't fall off again? I guess I don't.   But I know that if I don't try, I'll continue to feel that I'm not taking the best care of myself that I can which is not good for my peace of mind.

What excuses do you make to not get in shape?   How have you made positive changes to make physical fitness a bigger priority in your life? Do you have any suggestions for me?!

Love Notes - Friday 12/16/11

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:41:00 +0000

"Find Your Truth" Series - Part V

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 17:02:00 +0000

We introduced our ‘Find Your Truth’ series as a means of discovery through shared experience: the experience of finding out what remains or becomes true for each of us as we grow older, more mature, and have more life experience.

We consulted some wonderful and brilliant women to discover what they have found to be their personal truths as they have worked to become the people they are today. If you’ve been reading the series thus far, you’ve seen that they are all relatable in some way. Through the sharing of their humorous, intelligent and insightful answers, we hope that you’ll begin to discover some truths of your own.

In the fifth post of the series, blogger Bethy Pierre shares some of her personal truths.

“Don't limit yourself. Who you are today may not be who you are a year from now. That's because you're always changing, growing and developing.” – Bethy Pierre

This I know to be true about:

Relationships

It's an ever-changing entity that takes a lot of work. As easy as it is to not deal with people, relationships are essential to our beings. I've learned over the years: Don't take the actions of others personally, make yourself available to others and be open and keep your network varied. It's good to be connected with different types of people.

Money

Being financially responsible is what separates those who are living paycheck to paycheck and those who are thriving. It's not about how much you make but what you do with what you have. And the sooner each of us realizes that, then we can be decisive in how money operates in our lives.

Friendships

They say that the five people who you spend the most time with make up who you are. So it's important to be picky who you make your friends. Who you surround yourself with can either have a negative or positive impact in your life. So choose wisely.

Men

I've given up trying to figure them out. It's not worth the headache. I'm better off spending my energy on more fruitful things.

Job/Career

It doesn't define you. It's only a facet to who you are.

Family

Your family isn't always related by blood. It's the individuals in one's life that are always there for you. As for the blood-relatives, never give up on them. They were made your family for a reason. Love on them.

Fitness

Without your health, you don't have anything. So, it's important to keep your body in check. But fitness for me, has been an awesome stress reliever. When one area of my life is out of whack, I can go for a quick run and for a while, my mind is off of my worries and onto something else.

Diet

I love me some sweets. And there have been times I've gone on binges of chocolate. While I'm indulging, I'm in heaven. But as soon as I surface from my chocolate coma, I regret it. As many times as I've done that I always come back to this point: Everything is best in moderation. Food tastes better that way and you get to enjoy it more. And you don't end up regretting any bite you take.

Yourself

Don't limit yourself. Who you are today may not be who you are a year from now. That's because you're always changing, growing and developing. And it's always important to evaluate yourself and see where you've been so you can determine where you are going.

You can further connect with Bethy at her blog, B. Pierre Writes.

To read previous entries in the Find Your Truth series, click below:

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We hope Bethy's insight has inspired you to share your truths with us as well. Feel free to discuss in the comments section, or to email us at peaceloveprettythings@gmail.com with the subject "My Truth" and let us know that you would like to be featured.

Lovely Links: A Declaration of Self-Esteem

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 18:07:00 +0000

source

I recently stumbled upon a lovely blog called ....But I Love Me More. I knew right away from the name of the blog that it would be right up my alley. The writer behind the blog is Nova Browning Rutherford and she's a motivational speaker, national radio personality, author, mentor, and activist.

Her mission statement is as follows:

"...but i love me more" means making a choice to love yourself, as you are, before anything else. It's also forum to share stories and the realization that past pain CAN propel our future progress!

She had me at hello! I get so excited when I come across another black woman with a passion for encouraging people (particularly other women) to overcome their insecurities and struggles and be free to live their best lives. Learning to accept our mistakes and our hard times with a graceful attitude is what gives us the awareness to make those things count for something. I love that she shares real life experiences because for me, that's what really brings the message home. We all go through things, so why not learn from each other?

So as I was perusing her blog and eating it up, I came across this post: A Declaration of Self-Esteem. Nova says that she found this declaration on the refrigerator of her husband's grandmother. I knew that our PLPT readers would feel empowered by it just like I did. You will want to print this out and post it up somewhere where you can read it everyday to affirm that you do indeed love yourself and value yourself more than anything else. Enjoy.

I am me.

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.

There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone chose it.

I own everything about me-my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all its thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they may be – anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth, and all the words that come out of it, polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect; my voice, loud or soft; and all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.

I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.

I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me. This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.

When I review later how I looked and sounded, what i said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting. I can discard that which is unfitting and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which I discarded.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.

I am me and I am okay.

~Virginia Satir

Check out Nova's blog for more self-lovin' goodness!

Create Quality Time by Starting a Tradition

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:25:00 +0000

We are officially in the holiday season, and it is ripe with traditions observed by family, friends and even co-workers. Quality time is at a maximum and we revel in the present moment with our loved ones, while enjoying a shared history. Wouldn’t it be great to have this feeling all year long? So why not start traditions outside of the holidays?

With your entire family

When I was younger, my family always had Sunday dinner together. Whether it was around the dining table or in front of the football game, there was one night where we knew we would all be eating together. Admittedly, Sunday dinners have fallen by the wayside in my household—but it’s such a beautiful way to facilitate quality time that it’s definitely worth reinstating.

Find something that your family enjoys that everyone can participate in: is there an annual event you’d like to make it a habit to attend? An arts and craft project where your kids watch their skill level grow as they get older? Perhaps an annual vacation?

With your children

Though it may not always seem as though children recognize the value of time with their parents when they are children, they will certainly see it clearly when they are adults looking back on the experiences that helped shape them.

My mother and I used to share “tea time” when I was a child. We would sit at the table over two mugs of tea and talk and giggle like girlfriends. She would also make tea for me whenever I was feeling unwell. And now, as an adult, I drink at least 2 cups of hot tea per day; partially because of the health benefits, but also because through the memory of that tradition with Mom, I equate tea with comfort, love and soothing.

Similarly, my son and I have had dinner “dates” since he was about 4 years old. During these dates, he has my undivided attention and we talk and catch up on the little things that sometimes get lost in the shuffle of other priorities. I also use this as an opportunity to subtly teach him how to conduct himself, and how to treat a woman when he’s on a real date. And it’s something that (I hope) we can do no matter how old he gets.

Tap into what your children like or respond to and find ways to connect with them on that level. If you have more than one child, customizing your experiences with them is a great way to show them you recognize their unique personalities.

With your friends

As we grow older, get married, have kids and take on more adult responsibility, it gets harder and harder to carve out time for our friends; but it is paramount that we do so. I find that girl time is an opportunity to recharge and reconnect with my friends, but also with myself—and what makes me “me” outside of roles that I assume in my day-to-day life. My friends and I have girls’ nights every other month (or so) where we all gather at one person’s place and curl up on the couch with snacks and drinks to catch up on each other’s busy lives.

Do you and your friends have designated times that you get together? If not, why not instate a monthly (or quarterly if it better accommodates) meet-up for brunch, cocktails, a movie night or a potluck dinner? The actual activity is up to you; just make it a regular occurrence and make it fun!

What are some of your favorite traditions—at the holidays, or all year long?

Originally posted at Chic Mommy, Cool Kid.

Love Notes - Friday 12/9/11

noreply@blogger.com (GG) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 15:38:00 +0000