Peace Love and Pretty Things

Intermission

noreply@blogger.com (Peace Love and Pretty Things) — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 21:46:00 +0000

L to R: GG, Kimmie, Mrs. Sands (our silent partner!)

It's been quiet around here lately, hasn't it? You may have noticed that we haven't posted anything in a few weeks. (We hope that you've noticed!) We're both doing just fine and our absence has not been arbitrary at all. Matter of fact, we've decided to take an extended break from the blog and it's time that we brought you up to speed.

When we started Peace Love and Pretty Things in July of 2009, we didn't know what would come of it, but it was exactly what we both needed at the time. We both loved to write but were new to blogging and having an online presence. I don't think either of us ever expected that blogging would increase our creative confidence so much or expose us to so many opportunities. Both of us are now doing freelance work part-time (that we love!) and have our own separate blogs and visions.

Our lives have become so busy with our work, families and personal endeavors that the time we had to collaborate on PLPT has dwindled significantly. When we would try to get together to talk shop about the blog, we'd end up catching up on each other's lives and just enjoying the comfort of friendship. Our sisterhood always comes first and if we have limited time with each other, business is going to fall by the wayside everytime.

So although we still have a similar vision on where we'd like to take the blog in the future, for now we're taking a step back to focus on other projects and of course, to focus on our friendship. The blog and all the archives will still be here as well as our Facebook page. You can still reach us jointly @PeaceLovePretty and separately @PishPoshPerf (Kim) and @GGReneeWrites (GG). We don't know when we'll be back or when we'll have updates for you, so we hope you'll check back occasionally.

For those of you who aren't familiar, you can also keep up with us on our personal blogs:

Pish Posh Perfect is a life and style blog, whose moniker was actually inspired by my son's mocking me about wanting everything to be "pish posh perfect", as he puts it, with my style and in our home! But because I know there are other women out there with similar cravings for beauty and order, I decided to create a space where I could share bits of my healthy, style savvy life; and offer tips to help you to navigate yours as well. It is my hope that you will feel comfortable enough to also share your thoughts and ideas with me. After all, we fabulous ladies have to stick together, right?! So here's to a healthy, stylish and well-organized life!

All the Many Layers is a personal blog authored by me, GG Renee. Freelance writer and blogger under the influence of three children and conflicting priorities. Known for talking about hair and the meaning of life and somehow making the two subjects seem completely intertwined. I’m into wiggling, squeezing people and not answering the phone. If I could bottle peace of mind and dump gallons and gallons of it into the world's water supply, I would. Since I haven't figured that out yet, I share what I know about it with whoever will listen. I just started an advice column called Ask GG, I’m condensed to 140 characters @GGReneeWrites, and I sprinkle love dust on people when they’re not looking. So watch your back.

We're both hoping that you will keep in touch!!

Lots of Love,
GG and Kim

Most Popular PLPT Posts of 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:35:00 +0000

As 2013 rolls in, so does another year of blogging for GG and I, and we're eternally grateful for all of you who have been around since the beginning, as well as those of you that have joined us along the way. We so appreciate your reading, commenting, tweeting, Facebooking, and emailing--and we hope you'll continue to roll with us online in the new year!

With every reset in time comes the opportunity to reflect, and so must we on the musings we've written herein. It's always interesting to see what you have liked and responded to, and it seems that the following three posts were your faves in 2012. Hopefully they will inspire someone who hasn't read them previously. Enjoy and here's to an amazing 2013!

Most popular posts in 2012:
6 Soul Searching Questions You Need to Ask Yourself
Pretty Things: Natural in the Summer
What Strong Women Do

*photo via Pinterest

Becoming More of Yourself in 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 19:17:00 +0000

source

I understand why new year's resolutions get a bad rap, but there's nothing wrong with seeing the new calendar year as an opportunity for a clean slate. We just have to remember that a clean slate can be created with each new month, week, day or moment as well. Too often we don't start things because we're afraid we won't finish them. When's the last time you really challenged yourself? When's the last time something didn't work out? When's the last time you got up and tried again?

As far as challenges go, this will be a year of new endeavors and uncomfortable times for me. Pencil skirt uncomfortable. New shoes uncomfortable. Not wedgie uncomfortable. Make sense?

Some discomfort is necessary in order to grow more into yourself. Join me in asking yourself the following questions to start the year with a strong sense of self-awareness.

What are your top 3-5 priorities right now? Does your lifestyle reflect these priorities? How can you take steps to change that?
Does your daily work reflect how your interests have changed over time? Do you have projects and responsibilities that inspire you or that weigh you down?
How do you spend most of your free time? Is this in line with the priorities you listed above? Have you resigned yourself to the belief that you don't have a choice in the matter?
Do you feel strong enough to stand by your decisions when people criticize you? Or when things don't fall into place perfectly right away? Do you believe in yourself more than you care about what other people think?

Have you grabbed your journal yet? Write these questions down and find some alone time to reflect and call yourself out as necessary. Let's get to work.

Love Note - Friday 12/28/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 17:57:00 +0000

With our last love note of 2012, we leave you with a wonderful thought and mantra (change "your" to "my") to take with you into the new year. Plan to set yourself up for greatness in 2013!

Affirmations to Begin the New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 26 Dec 2012 19:12:00 +0000

source

Whether we want them or not, the New Year will bring new challenges; whether we seize them or not, the New Year will bring new opportunities.

~Michael Josephson

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things.
~John Burroughs

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.

~Ellen Goodman

How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I'm committed to?

~Anthony Robbins

What I Love Most About the Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 22:52:00 +0000

With arms outstretched I thank. With heart beating gratefully I love. With body in health I jump for joy. With spirit full I live. ~Terri Guillemets

It's snowing! Atleast here in Maryland, it is. I can't help but to be excited. Generally, I could do without it but my kids love it, so I'm happy that they are happy. I always get nostalgic around this time of year, remembering my own excitement as a child and what made the holidays such a special time.

So while I'm forcing my son to watch Christmas movies with us instead of playing his Xbox, I know that one day he'll look back and remember these days fondly. My two year old barely knows what's going on but she's got this wide eyed-something awesome is happening-so i have to say everything as loud as possible-thing going on. It's very cute.

I'm just breathing it all in, you know? What I love most about Christmas is remembering all the ones that came before. Thinking of where I've been, how life has evolved, and what I have to be thankful for - it has a way of putting things in perspective.

I hope that during this holiday season and as we wrap up this year, you will find courage for your present and your future. Focus on all that is good in your life & be THANKFUL.

Love you!

Love Note - Friday 12/21/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Just one of the rules of being human--and probably the easiest one to forget. This weekend, why not practice loving your body and focusing on its beauty from the inside out? Have a great one.
xo

To read the rest of Cherie Carter-Scott's Top 10 Rules for being human, click here.

5 Ways to Fight the Symptoms of Seasonal Depression

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 00:14:00 +0000

The symptoms of seasonal depression become more and more difficult to fight as fiercely cold weather sets in, and the days start getting shorter--with darkness falling during the late afternoon hours. If you're like me, you may not be clinically diagnosed with seasonally induced sadness--but there's definitely a sense of disenchantment and frustration that can set in. Here are a few ways to help ward it off:

Recognize that it is completely normal.
In an environment that naturally lends itself to less activity it is easy to start to feel like you are being lazy. Give yourself a break.

Stay busy.
Even if you're not doing very much outside your home, be sure to keep your mind busy. Work on the action steps for your goals, read books, paint--whatever you can do to keep the creative juices flowing is good. Don't let your mind become idle--that's when it can start to zone in on those negative egoic (read: fearful) thoughts.

Surround yourself with light.
Fill your home with lots of warm light to help accommodate for the lesser amount of sunlight you're getting.

Take a break from social media, blogs and email.
Nothing can make me feel worse about myself than when I am already sad, than scrolling through my social media feeds. In these times it gets so easy to start comparing my life to the "great" lives it seems like everyone else has. Most people only post the good stuff on social media anyway--everyone has their struggles. Beginning comparison thinking is the worst thing you can do for your mood. Avoid it at all costs.

Remember that it is only temporary.
The seasons will continue to change as part of the earth's natural ebb and flow--as will your moods along your journey. You just have to roll with it, knowing that things will turn around. Spring will come around before you know it, bringing you lots of sunshine and bright skies. Hang in there.

{photo source}

How To Make Your World Better Overnight

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 07:41:00 +0000

source

This post is for me, just as much as it is for you.

I'm having a hard time with some things, like we all do sometimes.  I believe that our respective skies have to fall every now and then, just to prove to us that we can survive it.

One of the toughest aspects of my life these days, as a woman trying to hold on to herself, is that no matter what I'm going through, my world just keeps on spinning. It doesn't slow down for me. I feel like I'm running on a faulty treadmill that won't stop and I'm afraid to jump off. I'm so out of breath that I can't even get the words out to ask anyone for help.

And the most aggravating part of it all is that I know it doesn't have to be this way.  We've all had problems come and go. Some even stay and we manage to enjoy life in spite of them. We climb our mountains and stand up to our bullies. Then we encounter another challenge or crisis and become dutifully consumed all over again.

Today, I want to remind you (and me) that none of our issues are random. What helps me to wake up every morning with hope and determination is my awareness that every problem I have is an opportunity. I may go to bed feeling heavy and uncertain - childishly frustrated that I can't solve everything overnight.   But in the morning I start fresh.

Start each day with the mentality that no matter what happens, you will view it like it was strategically placed in your life - not to curse you - but to help you become a better version of yourself.

When I make this conscious effort, I notice that my mood is significantly more resilient and less likely to take drastic swings when things don't go my way.  It doesn't make the problems necessarily seem smaller, it just gives you more motivation to face them.

The student loan people still won't let me decrease my payment.  My car is still on its death bed.  I'm still adjusting to my dad's new normal. And as much as I try to pray it and write it out of my system, I still have this sneaking suspicion that something is inherently and fundamentally wrong with mind. I could go on, but you'd be bored. I'm sure you have your own list of complications.

I live for the idea that every unwelcomed event, person or situation is really a doorway into the next me. A stronger, wiser me. Yay. I'm so anxious to meet her.

What do you think? Could this work for you, too? Try it tomorrow, even on the smallest thing like someone cutting you off in traffic. Think to yourself, "This jackass was strategically placed to help me become a more patient person." Keep your road rage in check and drive on in peace.

If we all practice this, we'll not only make our own private worlds better, but we'll also make the whole wide world better. Win Win.

Love Note - Friday 12/7/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Link Love: The Simply Luxurious Life (Why Never Giving Up is the Best Idea)

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 18:50:00 +0000

Happy Monday! I hope you all are having a wonderful week so far. I am in a little bit of a funk/at a bit of a crossroads today. There is one particular goal that I have that I've been working on achieving for a really long time--probably about 15 years--and lately I've been feeling like maybe it won't ever happen. Every time I feel that I have made significant progress or had a breakthrough, something occurs to make me feel like I haven't done anything at all. It's high and low and an emotional roller coaster, and today I was thinking about putting it on the back burner. In fact, I was having a conversation with a friend about my frustrations, just as this post from one of my favorite blogs, The Simply Luxurious Life, hit my inbox. The message here couldn't be more clear, and I thought that maybe someone else might be struggling with a decision and need this advice too.

“Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost legendary.

Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.

Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent.”

~ U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

Each one of us is on a journey, and based on the many emails I receive from you, my readers, I know that many of you are in the middle of striving toward the goal you have set for yourself. Whether it’s a professional or personal goal, working towards a promotion or strengthening your relationship, I genuinely believe so long as you are heading in the right direction, never giving up is the best idea.

Why? Let me explain. Read the rest of this post...

We know that timing is everything, and even if it isn't my time just yet, I've got to keep working to be ready when my time comes. This post served as the best kind of reminder. Here's to never giving up. {photo source}

Love Note - Friday 11/30/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Why No One Can Compete With You. Ever.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:01:00 +0000

source

It’s happening. I’m starting to do that end of the year reflection thing. You’re doing it too, I just know it. How are you feeling about your journey through 2012?

Being hard on myself was so 2010 and 2011, so I happy to say that I’m not going to overanalyze what I accomplished and what I didn’t for 2012. However, it’s never a bad time to acknowledge an area where you’ve grown, and how that growth has enriched the quality of your life.

As such, I just have to tell you what a GREAT year I had professionally. If you can’t tell, I’m proud of myself. I feel like this year, I stopped playing small at work, I put my big girl panties on, and I took on more responsibility and leadership than I ever have before. And low and behold, it was acknowledged and rewarded.

Ironically, I’ve never ever wanted to leave my job more than I do now. Maybe because I proved to myself that my true value proposition is not tied to a specific company or job. I’ve worked at the same company since I graduated from college so it’s no wonder that I associate any security or success that I’ve had with that company.

But I’ve learned that my true value comes from just doing what I know how to do. I’m not talking about the skills and accomplishments that go on my resume. I mean, anyone could do my job from a tactical standpoint. I could quit tomorrow and business would keep on keeping on -- they’d fill my position, and I’d just be someone that they used to know. However, Maya Angelou said, ”People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

And this, I believe, is my strength -- how I make people feel and the energy that I bring into a group. It's more impactful than my technical knowledge, my educational background or anything else that can be taught. So, when I doubt if I’ll be successful at another company or in other endeavors, I need only remind myself that all I had to do in order to have the most successful year of my career was to fully embrace who I am and what I bring to the table. The solution to doubt is always to be true to yourself.

Authenticity. It’s like our own built-in guarantee, but we don’t realize it. It guarantees that we are always on the right track as long as we are being honest with ourselves and with the world about who we are and who we are not. This psychologist guy named Carl Rogers once said, “What you are is good enough if you would only be it openly.”

This year, I really proved this to myself that who I am is enough. What about you? Were there any lessons that really stood out for you?

The Season for Giving

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 13:34:00 +0000

As the season of gratitude that we call Thanksgiving comes to a close, the season for giving—Christmas—comes in on its heels. Amidst thoughts of holiday décor, fine foods, snowy weather and presents under the tree, be reminded to give things that are intangible, like your time and your love. Why not:

Volunteer to serve food at a shelter?

Have your nieces and nephews over for a sleepover to give your sister or brother a break?

Invite that neighbor who is spending the holidays alone over for a meal?

Volunteer to shop or wrap presents for an elderly friend, neighbor or relative?

Make a donation to an annual or community drive like Toys for Tots, your local food bank or (this year in particular) the Red Cross?

What are some of the ways you give back during the holidays?

{*photo source}

Why Fear and Goosebumps Aren't Really Bad Things

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 23:53:00 +0000

A few months ago, I wrote a post about fear and the role it often plays in why we do or don't do things. Here are some snippets from the comments:

"...In 2012 I would like to start school. I would like to stop telling myself I can't do certain things..."

"...would love to stop myself from giving into fear...really anxious to learn how to use this emotion to propel me forward rather than back. It's always been a natural reaction to run the other way...but 2011 has taught me that it's important to walk through the fear and use it as a positive force. On the other hand, it could just mean we are all on the right track when it creeps up...so there's now an added sense of excitement when I think of a crazy idea that both scares me and gives me goosebumps!"

"...I've successfully lost 75 pounds, but gained 10 of it back, so now I want to finish what I started a two years ago. No reason why I shouldn't. I need to stop giving into fear of accomplishment."

These comments and my own intention to have a clearer understanding of the role of fear in my life led me to explore the subject further on WCD. Here we are a few months later and I'm ready to make a lot of changes in my life. Of course, fear pokes out its head and reminds me that it's still there.

So, in honor and in spite of that attention whore that we call fear, I wanted to revisit this with you all today.

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
~Marie Curie

Once I became aware that fear was affecting my choices, I really didn't know what to do about it. I guess I had to just sit with that awareness for awhile. In some aspects of my life, I'm still sitting with it. What I have developed though, is a passion for breaking down my fears and negative patterns so that I can understand them. If something bothers me, I'm determined to figure out why and make peace with it so it can't control me. It doesn't always happen as quickly as I want, but it's so much better than it used to be.

Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it.
~Henry S. Haskins

One of the commenters above mentions a sense of excitement that comes from a crazy idea that scares her and also gives her goosebumps (the good kind!). That's the kind of scary that we shouldn't avoid. There's probably something you want to do that gives you goosebumps, but you're afraid to do it.

For instance, I want to be a writer. But the idea of writing for a living completely freaks me out. I love to write, but what if I stop loving it when I start doing it for money? Sometimes we're not afraid of the thing itself, but we're afraid of the process of getting there. My suggestion would be to just start. Do something to bring you a step closer. My start has been blogging and guest posting. I'm just beginning to realize that this is my purpose and I'm taking it more seriously. What's next? The possibilities give me those good goosebumps, so I'm going to keep writing. (Update: A couple months after I wrote this I got my first paid freelancing gig! Woohoo!)

There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear.
~George S. Patton

Since we all must deal with fear on some level, there comes a time when we must discern between the fear that can push us forward and the fear that can hold us back. The answers are already there inside of us if we only listen. It's called intuition. When there's something positive and challenging that you want to do with your life, that's when it's time to take fear by the hand and bring it along with you. Recognize the nervous energy for what it is and allow it to fuel you. Likewise, when your inner voice tells you that you're heading down the wrong path, believe it. Trust yourself.

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile... initially scared me to death. ~Betty Bender

To free yourself from that frustrating inertia that comes from fear, learn to recognize the difference between the excited goosebumps and the warning signs and consider letting fear be your friend. No? Frenemy maybe? No matter how you look at it, remember that with great risk comes great reward.

If you have a testimony about a time that you overcame fear or a time that you used it to your advantage, please share in the comments. We'd love to hear about it!

Love Note - Friday 11/16/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 15:52:00 +0000

Let's make the choice to get happy right here, right now. It's totally up to us! Have a great weekend. xo

What Strong Women Do

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 19:38:00 +0000

source

“I don’t want to walk through life like I’m asleep. I want to feel everything. The joy. The pain. The wins and the losses. I want to fall and shock myself at how I’m able to keep getting up.” me

And while I’m falling down and wiping my tears and getting back up, I want to look good and feel like a warrior with my head held high. I’ll be the first one to tell you that appearances and material things don’t matter and it’s what’s inside that counts. And in the next breath I’ll tell you that no matter how you’re hurting or what’s going on, you need to get up off your hurt feelings and do your hair and put some lipstick on and keep it moving. Everyone’s been through it, and the world is going to keep spinning.

As a woman of character and spirit, how you handle ups and downs distinguishes you. With the right perspective, your struggles will empower you and bring out your beauty. Self-pity and bitterness will only slow you down.

“You see, no one can take your power - only you can give it away. When you do, the resulting self-pity and desperate behavior basically repel the things you really want.” me

Feeling sorry for yourself will not make that man be faithful. Eating everything in sight will not make all of your debt magically go away. A Facebook rant calling out this person and that person for betraying you will not create the karma that you want. Waiting to be rescued will not give you the strength to carry on. At some point, you have to get sick of feeling bad and decide to feel good.

Where’s all this coming from? Someone needs to hear this. Someone needs to snap out of it and get back to the business of being fabulous. This is the life, ladies. You weren’t put here to roll over and give up. Always choose to view things in a spiritual and mindful way. Remember that you are a universe within yourself and you don’t need a person, a title or a dollar amount to make you whole.

Take what you have, dust it off and make it sparkle. I’ll see you out there. xoxo

Pretty Things: A Hint of Sparkle

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 20:15:00 +0000

The above are a few of my favorite pretty things; I adore them for the hint (or splatter) of sparkle they bear.

As GG mentioned “in secret” while I was away, there’s quite a bit more to both she and I than we’ve allowed ourselves to show here previously, but in the spirit of evolving, we’re making an effort to let you in a little bit more.

Something you may or may not have learned about me by reading this blog (but that you probably did know if you happen to also read my other blog, Pish Posh Perfect) is that I am the ultimate girly girl. If it’s pink or ruffled or floral, I am SO in. I also have a bit of a penchant for sparkle, which as the holidays approach, becomes more and more acceptable within the confines of every day wear (this is not to imply that I don’t wear it outside the confines on any other day of the year!). We talk a lot on this blog about appreciating the little things, and letting them take you to a happy place when needed—sparkle is one of the things that does that for me.

It’s easy to go full-on New Year’s Eve or 70s disco glitter; you can make sparkly accessories your play with more neutral base items; and there are tons of cute pieces that bear more subtle bling. No matter which side of the style spectrum you lean toward, there’s a way to incorporate it into your wardrobe.

Are you a fan of pretty sparkly things?

Express Sequin Tank / Debbie Merle Designs Bracelet / Modcloth Glitter Headband / Modcloth Glitter Woven Skirt / J. Crew Glitter Belt / J. Crew Glitter Clutch / Schutz Cap-Toe Glitter Pump

Love Note - Friday 11/9/12

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 15:22:00 +0000

What You Can Learn from Being Stuck Outside Your Comfort Zone

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 02:37:00 +0000

There is much to be learned from being stuck outside your comfort zone--both literally and figuratively. Last week, while traveling in Europe, I was literally stuck outside the comforts of home. Due to Super Storm Sandy, all flights into the East Coast were canceled while airports and cities dealt with the surprisingly devastating blow Sandy dealt--and my travel buddies and I were unable to leave Rome, Italy on the day we had planned.

I know this doesn't immediately sound like such a bad situation. We were in Rome after all, right? Right. But we'd also already traveled to multiple cities, completed the itinerary we'd planned, and spent most of what we had allotted for travel funds. So we were more than ready to return home. That didn't happen for 3 more days (thankfully not the 6 extra days we thought we'd be away), and they were a difficult 3 days at best. We were on mental overload from all we'd taken in, emotionally stressed from working feverishly to secure new flights, and on a particular rainy day in Rome--totally bored.

Please don't misunderstand--this was an absolutely amazing trip. But there was certainly something to be learned about adapting when your plans change in a way that is so utterly out of your control.

Appreciate the simplest things possible. Immediately after returning home, I realized I'd missed even the tiniest pleasures about it--down to standing in my own kitchen and staring out the window while cooking at my own stove. Remember to be grateful for even the simplest day to day activities that can bring you a bit of joy.

Know how to self-soothe and find peace no matter where you are. The ladies I traveled with were a great group. But I live alone, am used to lots of alone time and I value it immensely. It's easy to start to feel stifled when I can't get that. So I had to find ways to sneak away from the group--even if it was just for a few minutes--to breathe, write or read some of the daily positive emails to which I subscribe. Having new experiences was great, but I needed to also find ways to feel like myself. There are going to be times where you can't complete your normal routine. You have to know how to adjust and be centered anyway or you'll drive yourself crazy.

Find a way to connect with your loved ones and yourself. I'm not sure if you have checked out international calling rates lately, but uh...they are OOC (out of control) and I'm not about that exorbitant phone bill life. So I relied on free wifi throughout Europe to communicate with my family and bf at home. Even at the times where I felt most stressed, a quick Face Time moment or a well-timed email was all it took to help me to feel like myself again. There is something about reconnecting with the people who know me best that helps me to reconnect to myself. Try and bring a bit of the familiar into unfamiliar circumstances when needed.

Be patient. Trying to get on a new flight home was a hell of a waiting game. And the actual journey home was a long and arduous one. But as soon as my feet touched ground at the airport and I saw my son's face at the gate, all that drama was forgotten. Trials seem really tough to stick out while we're going through them, but more often than not we forget about all the hard stuff once that great thing we were waiting for comes to fruition.

Learn to bite your tongue. As frustrated as everyone was, there was not one incident among the 6 of us on the trip where there was negative confrontation. We worked hard to be constructive in suggestions for how to handle our extended stay. And that really warms my heart. The women in my life continue to prove that the assumption that all black women are angry and combative is 100% false! When there are a lot of voices in a room, the need to feel heard can be overwhelming; but sometimes it is just important to keep your opinion to yourself as it is to speak up. Find a way to quietly contribute in other ways and make yourself a useful part of the solution as opposed to someone who spends all their energy complaining.

In what ways have you been stuck outside your comfort zone, and what did you learn from the experience(s)?

photo: source

p.s. I penned a travel diary over at Pish Posh Perfect about all the ridiculously wonderful parts of the trip. Click on over if you're interested. There are pics too! xo

Simplicity, Heart & Humility

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 22:43:00 +0000

source

Sometimes I feel like a broken record, but I am endlessly thankful for the collective of impressive women that I call my friends. They are always dropping gems of wisdom on me without even realizing how much they enhance my life.

Today I was chatting with one of these spectacular women and we were talking about working in Corporate America and how fundamental it is to be professional and polished at all times. Egos and emotions can really be career limiting when they are not kept in check in the workplace.

She told me about an acronym that her uncle shared with her years ago when she was in college. S.H.H. (pronounced like you’re shushing someone) – Simplicity, Heart & Humility. As he explained to her, these are three attributes that will take you far in your career.

Of course, I started thinking about how these qualities will take you far in life in general. I love everything about it – from the pronunciation of the acronym to the intention behind each of the words.  So naturally, I had to write about it.

SHH!
Whether you’re a naturally boisterous person or not, it’s so important to just shut up sometimes. Having the discretion to know when to be quiet is paramount to building successful relationships in business and in your personal life. If you follow me on this, then the breakdown of the following three words just takes this notion even further.

Simplicity
Too often we think that being loud and sounding complex will make us appear more relevant, when in effect, it usually does the opposite. It just shows a transparent need for attention and validation.

When you’re really comfortable and confident in your own skin, you don’t need to enlarge everything. In the words of Hans Hoffman, “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”

Know what really matters and emphasize those things clearly without a lot of bells and whistles.

Heart
When you are truly invested in a project or cause, it will show through your actions and the energy that you exude when you get involved. If your heart is in the right place, you shouldn’t have to point it out.

Focus your energy into your project and don’t get caught up in the distractions of the ego like jealousy, envy and greed. We are only ever in competition with ourselves.

Inherent in this concept of heart is honesty, respect, passion and purpose. “Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”

I don’t know who to credit that quote to, but if it speaks to you like it speaks to me, you're reaching for your journal right now to write it down!

Humility
Lastly, but very importantly, be unassuming and patient in your demeanor. The fastest way to disillusion an audience is to give the impression that you think you are better than, or your time is more precious than or for goodness’ sake your sh!t stinks less than everyone else. Someone once said, “It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.”

We’ve all been right and we’ve all been wrong at some point or another, right? I don’t know about you, but I prefer to work with people who are focused on solutions - not brownie points.

Simplicity, Heart & Humility. This is going to be my new mantra, I think. What have your friends done for you lately?    ;-)

Guest Post: It Is Well with My Soul

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 13:00:00 +0000

In this PLPT guest post, Jess J. discovers an awareness of peace within silence that signals that all is well. It's one that we should all train ourselves to recognize, and to go back to when the noise of the outside world gets too loud.

I sat, wanting to write and with full knowledge that I promised a guest post to Kim and GG, soon. I did not have an idea or even an event to draw upon for inspiration, but I had the words, “It was well with my soul,” that seem to have taken root in my heart as of late. So, I thought it best to start there and naturally a story unfolded. I went digging for a quote with this thought on my mind, these words, and I came across a stanza from one of my favorite poems, Desiderata by Max Ehrmann that reads,

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

Clearly I was being given the words with which I needed to start. So I finally listened.

Affirmation…perhaps the greatest affirmation is silence. Not of the awkward kind, but the kind of silence that sounds like peace and sunshine when things are as they should be.

There are few moments in life when we can breathe freely, not in need, not in desire, not in fear but truly breathe, as is our purpose to do without any attachment to the action. There are even fewer moments when we become aware of those breaths and appreciate them. If that is not affirmation of a good life, I am not sure what is.

More and more as I grow more reflective in my life, I find that this sort of peace is the intoxicating kind that of course only comes when you are not focused on it. It is like one of those 3-D art pictures that used to be in the Sunday news paper, where if you focused, looking right at it all you saw was squiggles and colors but once you relaxed, let your gaze soften and look beyond that which was right in front of you, you saw this picture.

I heard it said recently that there is no right or wrong, there only is what is and life adjusts accordingly. It made me a bit nervous to think about the fact that my decisions can all, essentially, be life-changing. However, after I act I wait. I wait for the silence to speak to me, and its there just beneath the noise of the world. I listen for the quiet affirmation that ‘what is’ is what ‘should be’. And when I hear that quiet, and feel that warmth I am at peace. And it is well with my soul.

- Jess J.

For more of Jess J.'s insights, check out her blog and her tumblr.

*Photo via Pinterest

Guest Post: Where Is Their Mother? Why You Need to be Present for Your Children

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Recently at a child’s birthday party I found myself asking this question: "Where is their Mother?". At first I was upset with the children but then I redirected my anger. The person at fault is a relative. You know her story. She has five kids at home, different baby daddies who are nowhere to be found, she works a crap job just to make ends meet, and her kids are totally out of control. And as a mother myself I get so frustrated with her! That’s not the right word. Irritated? Closer I think, but still not strong enough. I get right pissed-off at her!

Why are her children always unkempt? Why do they have to be told something two or three times before they respond? Where are their manners? Where Is their Mother? Not the girl who is slapping, cursing, and hating her children. Not that person. Where is their Mother? The woman who loves her children so much it hurts - the woman who cries for her children when they are in pain- the woman who teaches her daughters to be ladies-the fierce lioness that protects her cubs at all costs. Where is she? Where is their Mother?

I’ve known this parent and her children for a long time. She has both daughters and sons and shows no preference for girls or boys. She has no favorite child and appears to regard them all with equal disdain. Occasionally, she will do something nice for one child. Perhaps one has a birthday and may be treated to a special dinner out. Or one has a decent report card and gets a new pair of shoes. But even these perceived acts of love are all selfishly used to make her appear like a good mom to others or are held over the other children’s heads like some sort of brass ring to get them to behave.

I always look for the good in people. It’s just my nature. Sometimes that means I make excuses for their bad behavior. I used to say she treats her children badly because she is angry with herself. She talks to them any kind of way because she is hurting inside. Her behavior has something to do with how her parents treated her as a child. Maybe she was unloved or never given the tools to parent correctly, or at least better. But I’m done with excusing her. She has too many children, too many talk shows, too many bookstores, too many blogs, too much free time, too many examples, and too much at stake not to do better.

Her treatment of her children is disgusting and has to stop. Now! Stop hating the children you chose to birth. Stop whining like you are a victim or a prisoner of the life you made. Stop blaming everyone but yourself for the type of people your children are becoming. Stop acting like the little girl who laid down years ago and created these children to show love toward some boy who was undeserving in the first place.

Grow up and get your stuff together! Please. My children need you to. Every parent whose child will come in contact with one of yours needs you to. More importantly, your children need you to. With every word, with every action, they are begging for you to love them. They are desperate for you to locate her. They want to know where she is. Where is she? Where is their Mother?

- Penned by Kamesha M.

*photo (source)

Are You Ready for a Change?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 22:51:00 +0000

If you've been reading Peace Love and Pretty Things for awhile, then I imagine that you feel pretty familiar with what Kim and I are about. We've become accustomed to looking at life not just as ourselves, but through the eyes of the every day woman, so that we can have relevant advice and stories to share on this here blog.

We all face challenges, we all have to deal with our emotions and find our way to our truest selves the best way we can. We hope that if you're reading this, then you are on a similar journey and you come here for the honesty and accessibility that we try to provide.

Well, the truth is that we've been wanting to share different sides of ourselves and change things up a bit.

(Kim doesn't know that I'm telling you this, but she can't really fuss at me too much about spilling the goods right now because she's in Europe on vacation. For the next 10 days, I am on the loose on the blog with no supervision! Ha!)

Anyway, we've both grown and changed A LOT since we started blogging and naturally, our vision has evolved as well. We're giddy and excited about the next iteration of Peace Love and Pretty Things. We hope you will stay tuned!

Are you ready for a change in some area of your life? Today I encourage to take a step towards it. then tomorrow, take another. Then the next day, another.

The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs. ~Vance Havner

Love Note - Friday 10/19/12

noreply@blogger.com (Kim Jackson) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Remember to always be kind, Lovies! Have a fantastic weekend!
xo