Peace Weasels and Monkey Business

An original story by Dimitri Meder, age 3.5

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Thu, 05 May 2011 14:37:00 +0000

Dimitri holding a drawing of 9444.

Its started with a big ant. And then a big tube. And then it starts with a big boulder. And then it starts with a big straight line.
This machine is called a 9444 super squad. Its job is to throw people down it and turn them into Nannies. And they will have the same voice and the Nanny that lives in East Lansing will not even know that we are all Nannies. And the Sebastian that lives there will not even know that we are Sebastians. There is a machine called the 9114 that turns people into Sebastians.
It has lots of parts and gears that puts a mask on that changes your face and everything. It looks like a giant, giant house that is a big boulder. There is a giant curly french fry tube that you slide down and it takes you super fast and drops the mask on a scrapes everything off and that is how it turns you into Sebastian or Nanny. It will drop you into the soft trash can at the bottom.
There will be 40-60,000 Nannies. Nanny will say "Oh! That is my reflect!"
There will be 40-60,000 Sebastians.
And 40-60,000 Hammers.
You buy this machine at the market store and it costs 40,000 quarters. It is blue and red and yellow and green.
The Sebastians will eat Tomatos, Broccoli and Bananas. Nanny's robots that she has invented will make the food. Laser beams will catch the food. The food will get bruised, but that is ok.
There are robots inside also. The bottom of the tube looks like a toilet paper tube, but that is just a playmobil attitute tube.
And the now I want to buy that machine. Phew!

Written by Dimitri Meder 5/5/11
Transcribed by his Mama, who, as this is being written is catching large squads of robots with her hair.

Apple Pan Dowdy

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 04:45:00 +0000

In many ways, the moment a chill hits the air all I can think about is baking. Not that I am actively doing it, but I love to dream. And read about recipes.

Apple picking opens tomorrow at Wasems. We went through 2 bushels last year, can we do 3 the next?

Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy

If you wanna do right by your appetite
If you're fussy about your food
Take a choo choo today, head New England way

And we'll put you in the happiest mood with

Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy
Makes your eyes light up
Your tummy say "Howdy."
Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy
I never get enough of that wonderful stuff

Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy
Makes the sun come out
When Heavens are cloudy
Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy

I never get enough of that wonderful stuff
Mama! When you bake
Mama! I don't want cake
Mama! For my sake
Go to the oven and make some ever lovin' Sh

Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy
Makes your eyes light up
Your tummy say "Howdy."
Shoo Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy
I never get enough of that wonderful stuff
-Dinah Shore

gourd-lackery

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 05:17:00 +0000


Long handled gourds, growing around Tomatos. 6/24/10

Long Handled gourds around Tomatoes. Note the complete lack of Gourds. 8/15/10

Up North, with harmony.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 04:57:00 +0000

This silly guy. Every where we went somewhere today, he would ask our destination. Whatever the answer was, be it library, pool, store, pizza.... he would yell "No! I want to go Up North!"
Luckily, this has been a summer of many Up Norths.
He is one lucky boy.

Killer gourds and Etsy pages.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 04:05:00 +0000

My long handles gourds are taking over the garden. In a frightening fashion. And producing no gourds.
I could not be grumpier.
Dreams of birdhouses and rattles, all gone.
A reality of gourd vines blocking us into our house and stealing Dimitri's dump trucks, fat approaching.

In another note, started a web page.

Check it out: www.peaceweasel.com

Also been getting crafty, see anything you like on my site, look for it for sale here: BootsNGus

Watch out for my Gourds, they're long handled.

Lets try again.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 16:32:00 +0000

Leaf in the face.

Every once and a while I get the urge to write down some daily occurances. Perhaps if I take a photographic approach it shall help. We shall see.

I love the names of the garden.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 06:00:00 +0000

Baker Creek Heirloom Seed Co. - Shopping Cart Contents

Conversations with a sick man.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 05:42:00 +0000

There is a chance that Todd is coming down with something. His throat is quite sore and he is acting like a maniac.
I will attempt to transcribe our conversation.

T- What is the capital of Georgia?

J-Atlanta maybe? Although that doesn't sound right... What did you think it was?

T-Rhode Island.

J-No, more likely Atlanta.

T-What is the capital of Rhode Island?

J-Providence.

T-No. it is not.

J-What is it then?

T-Oh, you know that book that everyone is talking about these days.

J-Huh?

T-That book, you know, by Jane Hathaway.

J-Huh?

T-Or was it Charlotte Deville? or that Hawthorne fellow, they were friends...

J-Do you mean "Pride and Prejudice"?

T- Yes! That's it, Providence is the first in the series.

J-Pride and Prejudice was not a series. Except on TV.

T-It was so! By Anne Stevenson.

J-What are you talking about?!?

T- (very exasperated, but still humored by my incompetence)
The series about the young women who solves mysteries......

J- No. That is not what Pride and Prejudice is about. No. Do you mean Nancy Drew?

T- No, no... not Nancy Drew. There was a boy and a sheep dog. And they lived in a lighthouse. And there were all these secret compartments where they hid things.....

J-I don't think I know this series. Sounds interesting though....

T- Oh, I remember! The Babysitters club!

I did take his temperature and send him to bed. I will hope for the best.

"Alphabet soup" starring Dimitri.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 02:00:00 +0000

The first big boy bath. A fairly momentous event. Bath time is getting to be a pretty vigorous evening activity now that he is not going to imminently drown himself. It is an interesting thing to listen to yourself parent on a video. Why, I wonder, do I say "We" all the time? "We don't...." We aren't...." I want the tone of my voice to match my words and actions and I am not sure that they do. Is this the way we are supposed to talk to our children or is this some hideous modality of speech that I have fallen into, such as saying "like" or "Dude". Both of which I do.

Recently read The Happiest Toddler on the Block by
Dr. Harvey Karp. Interesting guy, says we are supposed to growl at our children, which I approve of. We also watched the accompanying video, illustrating the caveparent approach. After the video Todd said that Dr Karp was like Gildaroy Lockhart. And he has not even read Harry Potter.

Back to the bath. Dimitri is such a big kid these days. He asked me for cheese the other day, a sign of big boyness to be sure. Well moments after the above video was finished, he pooped in the bath.

A big boy poop, in the big boy bath.

If it had been in the baby bath, it would have been contained, but no, in the tub. Now notice all the toys and bubbles.

26 stick up letters, 2 rubber duckies, a tennis ball, and 3 water scoops. and a washcloth. and a bath scrubbie.

A dozen little turds floating in minty fresh, alphabety goodness.

Needless to say, he got his first big boy shower right after that, which I did not film. We did however get some good shots of water fun.

-Dude.

Best Mittens ever.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:47:00 +0000

We got a package today from my Mother-in-law, Todd opened it, showed me the boots and snowpants and nothing else. Hours later I saw a glimpse of yellow and investigated.
Best mittens ever.
I want them to fit me. I tried, they don't.
Best Mittens ever.

P-Mate - Female Freedom - The Freedom To Pee Standing Up

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:50:00 +0000

P-Mate - Female Freedom - The Freedom To Pee Standing Up

25 things

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:29:00 +0000

I did this for Facebook, but it took me so long , that I will post it here as well.

1. I have bitten my nails for as long as I can remember.
2. It irks me that I cannot think of random questions. I looked up random question generator on Google and found squat.
3. I am a Breastfeeding mother to a 13 month old. Todd and I have been married for six years and can set up camp at night, in the pouring rain, without fighting.
4. I would like to become a Lactation consultant. I feel Breastfeeding resources are very limited.
5. I have a birthmark on my foot the shape of Louisiana, with a freckle for Baton Rouge.
6. I am very fond of reading. Many, many things.
7. I am very fond of the Swallows and Amazons series by Arthur Ransome.
8. I am an aspiring organic gardener, flower and veg. I grow too many Zucchini and have a Whiskey barrel pond.
9. Sometimes I feel sad about my compost.
10. I have horrid insomnia.

Scooter.

11.I collect things. Muppets, Rocks,Monkeys,Baby carriers, Books, odds, ends
12. My favorite direction is North.
13. My favorite smell is Sweet grass 2nd. Earl grey
14. I am a little obsessive about the weather.
15. I have climbed Mt Yale, 14,196 feet above sea level and been rained on in Death Valley, 282 ft below sea level
16.When I do sleep, I have very vivid dreams.

Mariah, Redtail hawk.

17. I am an animal person. I have had many pets, from Dogs to Rats.I have been bitten a Snowy owl and kept Opossum babies in my bra. I have 3 Cats (Gabriel, Zowie, Eliza) 3 goldfish (Bertie, Gussie, Tuppy) 5 houseplants, yet unnamed except the moss who is Lord Emsworth.
18. I am an amateur naturalist. The book by the same title by Gerald Durell is one of my first book memories.
20. I would like to not pass my fear of Spiders to my son.
21. I would like to keep Bees.
22. There should be a bachelors degree in Jack-of-all-trades.
23.For my 30th birthday I went to a Morel Festival.
24. There is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.
25.I am forgetting something definitive.

Amanita?
Thimbleberry.

For Abby, because she asked. And to the player-haters who can bite me.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 00:57:00 +0000

Orchid indeed.

Windows open, no flash.

From Curtains

Curtains closed, uneveness obvious. Note lovely Aloe.

From Curtains

A close up of fabric next to paint.

From Curtain

An apology to all my online Scrabble friends.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 16:54:00 +0000

Oh that we love our Facebook Scrabble, Todd is on vacation this week. What I mean to say is that as Todd is on vacation this week therefore I have less Dimitri sleep time to be constantly reviewing my word choices. Be assured, come next week I will be able to maintain umpteen Scrabble games at a time.

Qua, Qi, and Drake,

Jessamy
(Which is not a playable word but potentially very high points)

I am afraid that the maple leaves need to be fresh.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 04:24:00 +0000

How to make roses from maple leaves | haha.nu - the lifestyle blogzine

What fabric do you want to look at while pooping?

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:08:00 +0000

So this is the fabric I have used for the curtains I made for the downstairs bathroom. Not sure what I think yet. I am not a talented sewer. Well that is just not a word. Not a talented sewer. That cannot be right.

sewer - someone who sews; "a sewer of fine gowns"

baster, tacker - a sewer who fastens a garment with long loose stitches

needleworker - someone who does work (as sewing or embroidery) with a needle

sewing-machine operator - someone who sews by operating a sewing machine

sewer - a waste pipe that carries away sewage or surface water

cloaca, sewerage

drainpipe, waste pipe, drain - a pipe through which liquid is carried away

sewage system, sewage works, sewer system - facility consisting of a system of sewers for carrying off liquid and solid sewage

Huh.

Anyway. I'm not good at it.
Not sure about the colors either. One wall is kind of a Burnt Pumpkin, the rest is still undecided. Either white or off green. Hope it does not look like the room of a strange, toilet loving, child.

Aloysius Snuffleupagus

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 17:29:00 +0000

Dimitri is just beginning to get into Sesame street. He likes the music and colorful monsters. In my time I have watched much Sesame Street, but not much in recent years. There have been changes. Not ones the I necessarily approve of. I have many questions, but for now all I will voice is this: Why is Snuffy kept in a Cave now?
Have we gone from imaginary friend, to integral character, to..cave??
Think it over. Get back to me.
Inquiring minds want to know.

States push fire-safe cigarettes

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 06:32:00 +0000

It is a strange world we live in.
Fire safe cigarettes.
Ha.

States push fire-safe cigarettes - USATODAY.com

Habeneros, yogurt and tears.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 04:53:00 +0000

One of the successful things I grew this summer was
Habanero peppers. They took forever to mature, but they were well worth it. There is something special about a Habanero, a warm, satisfying heat as opposed to other peppers that blow your mouth out with out adding any ambiance to a dish.
Well, although I have cooked with Habaneros many times, I think the home grown variety may be more potent. I had decided to make hot sauce and freeze it for winter chili. For some bizarre reason it seemed a good idea to roast the peppers on the stove, in the process smearing my hands fire juice. Now I did not do anything like stick my finger in my eye or other pertinent places, I just touched my cheeks. Very unpleasant experience. Much burning and sadness. Todd suggested that I splash milk on my face, no help. Then, thinking scientifically, I smeared baking soda all over my face. Gritty, but also no help.
Then the epiphany. Yogurt.

So upon applying thickly, much relieved, I returned to cooking.

That was when the tears began.

Dimitri was horrified. He acted as though I had horrid clown makeup on. I had to leave the room. Dimitri kept pointing at me and sticking his lip out all evening. Todd thought this was hilarious. Needless to say that my face burned for a full day afterward. Sauce was good though.

Habanero Ginger Hot Sauce.

1 Habanero, whole
4 or more cloves garlic
one whole ginger root
2 cups Apple Cider
3 tablespoons Hone2 tablespoons vinegar
pinch salt
maybe a little lime.

Blend until smooth. Heat to combine flavors and reduce slightly. do not overcook or flavor will not be bright.
mine made 2 jars and a bunch of ice cubes.

My keyboard is not mightyer than a sword.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 04:51:00 +0000

So apparently I have been neglecting my blog, having not written anything since 9/17. This is an attempt to rectify that. Since I spend way to much time on Facebook, I am going to try writhing through an app there.
We shall see.
The sad thing is that I think of things that I want to write all the time, but between a toddler and a non-functioning A button, I am thwarted. I even took pictures of something with the express intent to write about it and did not. Perhaps I shall now, months late.

Hungry baby suckles statue - Boing Boing

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:47:00 +0000

This made me insanely happy.
Dimitri is at the stage that he is very cocky about breast feeding. He wants to nurse in odd positions, upside down, while chewing on a book. He is very interested in anything nippular.
He pokes at Todd's nipples and looks at me questioningly.
Dimitri would so do this.

Hungry baby suckles statue - Boing Boing

Don't touch that! or The Repression.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 22:26:00 +0000

I fear I have given my child issues.
I realized today that every time there is a poopy diaper, Dimitri instantly reaches down to investigate his penis.
Diddle, Diddle, Diddle.
My instant reaction is of horror, that of course he will grab a handful of poop and put it straight in his mouth. So I yell, "No! Yuck! Don't touch that!" Which is of course what every young man wants to hear when touching his penis.
So today after my moment of poopy clarity, I was determined to rectify the situation.
"Look Dimitri, its your Penis! You can play with it!"
Which is of course what every young man wants to hear when touching his penis.
Perhaps not from their mother though.

They look like Miss Piggy Shoes.

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:30:00 +0000

Heelarious® ~ her first high heels

Backyard bounty

noreply@blogger.com (Jessamy) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 05:26:00 +0000

I think that the number one thing I was excited about when buying a house was having a garden. Being able to plant and nurture them, them eat the goodness. Unlike my son, who I planted and nurture, but as of yet have not eaten.
The garden has been great. I have had a glorious summer of planting and growing and eating.
Things I have planted:
Tomatoes-3 types Early girl, cherry and Big balls beefeater.
Cucumber
Zucchini
Muskmelon
Basil- Thai and Lemon
Habenero peppers
Potatoes
I had visions of garden splendor all winter long. I read endless magazines and books. Burpee was my long lost best friend and the library card my new lover. I decided that I would have a lasagna garden, various layers of organic material in differing stages of decay, told to be the hottest in gardening. I planned and replanned what I would plant, where and when I would plant it, and how it would all taste when I was done.
In my mind I would have modest amounts of each item, enough to can and store to have all winter. I would have beautiful melons (other than the ones I already have) that I would bring to parties as gifts. Bushels of potatoes, ready to be mashed. Oh the harvest! Reality is quite different.
I did not fully, I think, understand the Zucchini.
Four plants and 93 pound of Zucchini later I think understanding is creeping up. People are beginning to run screaming when they see me coming with a bag of mutant Zucs. Many were small and delicious, tender and sweet. More were ginormous, lacking only batteries to be statisfying. I have made more Zucchini bread than can be imagined.

Jessamy's tried and true Zucchini bread.
3 cups grated Zucchini
2 cups Brown sugar
3 Eggs
1 cup Veg. oil
3 tbl. Molasses
3 cups Whole Wheat flour
1 tsp. Baking soda
1/2 tsp. Baking powder
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp each Cinnimon, Nutmeg, Ginger
2 tsp Vanilla

Bake 350 degrees
loaf or bundt 1 hour
muffins 25 min

Most of my Garden is exactly what I had hoped for; fantastic tomatoes, cucumbers, basil and peppers. I highly recommend the Big Balls beefeater, excellent flavor. The melons and the potatoes, however, were a bit disappointing. I got 15 potatoes no bigger than a super ball and so far all of my melons have fallen off before ripening. Ah well. Still a resounding success.
We also have a unexpected pear tree in the backyard. Ate one today, delicious. Many have fallen in the yard and are fermenting. I could do with fewer bees. If anyone knows what to do with a bounty of pears or Zucchini, let me know.