The Peaceful Self.com

Damn, I Hate Consciousness!!

2012-05-28T16:35:00.001-04:00

Damn, I hate Consciousness.

Like, the other day, I got rip roaring drunk. Me and my peeps was sippin’ The Red and don’t you know, as I slipped off into the State of Inebriation (next to Ohio), I hear consciousness say, “I’m always here.”

“What??? Fook you! Get off my back. Leave me alone!!!”

I wake with a galactic hangover and Consciousness doesn’t care at all. There it is, as it always is…

Consciousness doesn't care what I say or do, or even think, and I’m startin’ to think that Consciousness doesn’t give a rat’s ass about “me” at all.

I’m sick to death of Consciousness. It follows my arse everywhere I go. No matter what I’m doing, there’s Consciousness, doing what it always does, which is nothin’ at all. Just frickin’…being (and what good is that?). And it’s not even being “there.” I have no idea where it is, or from where it comes, but I do KNOW it never leaves me alone.

Stupid consciousness! I hate it…

As much as I try to shake it, somehow it eludes all my attempts. The other night I was watching mindless TV and there it was being Consciousness as it always IS. I complain, but all it says is, “where could you go that I would not Be?”

You’d think that it would frickin’ sleep! But nooo! Consciousness doesn’t sleep…EVER. It doesn't rest and is on me 24/7.

The problem is that Consciousness is non-judgmental. No matter what evil bullsheit I’m thinking or doing, Consciousness is always right “there.” If it weren’t for Consciousness, I wouldn’t feel so guilty all the time. I blame Consciousness for everything, but Consciousness couldn't care less!

I wish Consciousness would go torment somebody else. Go haunt somebody else's life. But it responds that "there is NO other." Then it tries to make friends with me by telling me I’m IT. But, fook that! I don’t need no Consciousness to tell me who or what I am. Consciousness can go fook itself, cause I ain’t playin’ IT’s game.

Just when I think I’m close to figgerin’ out how to shake IT. I hear, “do you really think that what happens to "you" matters to me?”

Damn, I hate consciousness!

Why does it think it knows everything???

But what’s worse is I've discovered that Consciousness has a buddy and his name is Existence. I never knew Existence was there before, but now it’s like I’m being tag-teamed. When one steps back, the other kicks into gear.

It’s almost like they’re ONE thing for chrissakes!!

Dang! I hate Existence too...

Why don’t they both just leave me alone!

Nope! They’re always there…

I try to hide. But they always find me…

The other day, they pissed me off so much that I threatened to shoot myself and end it all. But then Existence chimes in with, “you are, because…I AM and I AM... always" and then Consciousness got all uppity with, "there cannot be non-existence, because there is nothing that is not me."

What!? So I’m stuck with you forever? For all eternity??

Can you believe they both laughed when I asked that question!
(sorry, but I don't know what they find's so damn funny)

Damn, I hate Consciousness…

Artwork by Fred Einaudi - "Homunculus"

Mojo at Play in the Conceptual Fields of the Dream

2012-05-20T10:23:00.000-04:00

“It can be very difficult for any spiritual teacher to get through to students like this, to get them to stop holding on to their fixation on an absolute view. This is one of the dangers of awakening: the tendency to grasp at a lopsided view. We grasp at the absolute view of awakening, and we deny anything else. It is actually the ego that fixates on the absolute in this way, using it as an excuse for dismissing unenlightened behavior, thought patterns, and divided emotional states. As soon as we grasp at any view, we have gone blind to everything else.” (Adyashanti, 2004-12-01,End of Your World, The pp. 45-46 Sounds True. Kindle Edition).

“Unenlightened behavior”???? This guys a bit “fixated” on the “Spiritual Teacher” role. Very prescriptive. Do this, do that, not that, not this.This concept is "good" (concept) and that one "bad" (concept).

But then, every pointer… points back at “you” (concept) so maybe he's doing a good job at "spiritual teacher."

Egocentrics need “To Do Lists.” I need to be quiet. I need to be honest. I need to meditate. I need to commit to spiritual practices. I need to be NOT separated. I need to not do harm. I need to stop holding onto my fixations. I need to stop “grasping.” I need to surrender “unenlightened behavior.” I need to be “enlightened.”

High Mojo don’t care none about egocentric “Rules of Enlightenment” (nor any rules, to be more precise). However, there is a thrill in playing with rules you know are meaningless. Such "play" (concept) has often been labeled "infinite" (concept).

High Mojo (concept) is A-okay with “unenlightened behavior.” High Mojo plays infinitely in the conceptual fields of the dream.

“Enlightened” is as much a concept as “father.” If you believe in the concept as “real” (another concept) then you’ll conform accordingly and expect the outcomes that are associated with whatever concept you’re jelling with. If I play out the role of father based on the concept of “father” (which is really the only way to play) then I will expect specific outcomes associated with following those conceptual rules. If I play out the role of “spiritual teacher,” or “enlightened” dude, then I will expect the outcome attached to that concept. I may never get the expected outcome, but I will continue to adhere to the rules nonetheless, because it’s the rules that are defining “I-me” based on what I want to happen.

If it doesn’t happen, then I will suffer accordingly and seek out concepts that explain the failure and that prescribe what more should be done to get the payout attached to the concept. Those additional concepts will then define me based on the expectations attached.

It’s actually pretty fookin’ simple when you look at it straight on. But then, egocentrics tend not to look too closely at their concepts. But then, that’s the nature of the concept of “egocentricity.” Attached is the concept of “ignorance” and not to look too closely. But then, that’s okay too!

Ever notice how all your concepts tend to jell together. Like, the concept of “child molester” doesn’t jive at all with concept of “spiritual seeker.” The concept of “father” doesn't sit well with the concept of “recluse.” The concept of "spiritual teacher" doesn't jell with the concept of "alcoholic."

When concepts clash, peeps commit "suicide" (final concept).

So like, I’m “divorced” (concept) and was attempting to play around with the concept of “dating.” However, associated with that concept is the concept of “relationship” and “love” and, obviously, attached to those concepts is the concept of “rules.” Problem is that once the concept of “rules” come into play…I want to cut my throat with a rusty butter knife (concept). Concepts achieve power through emotion, but “emotion” is a concept too.

Emotion is a concept associated with the body (concept) and, theretofore and ergo, the concept of "helplessness" comes into play. I have played with the concept of "helplessness" many times in my "life" (concept) and always, attached, is the concept of "hopelessness." I must admit that the concept of "hopelessness" has been more helpful to me than any concept I have yet to consider. But it does appear that most will avoid "hopelessness" with incredible strength and vigor and often immediately attach to concepts that have as their sole purpose the avoidance of the concept of "hopelessness." I find this "fascinating"! (concept)

When Mojo rises, Mojo looks and SEES it all as a "concept" (also a concept) and when Mojo SEES it all for what it is, guess what happens?

Nothing….

Not a damn thing….(Ha!)

And that’s how you know your Mojo’s risin’ (which, of course, is also a concept).

Artwork by Yosuke Ueno - "Beginning the great Adventure"

Pink Elephants on Parade

2012-05-13T16:03:00.000-04:00

As long as your contained in a body, there is NO freedom.

So stop this insipid "liberation" crapola. Centuries of liberating ideology has only reinforced your enslavement.

It ain't happenin. Hasn't happened for anybody since the dawn of man and will NOT happen for you.

Oh, but I bet you think you've come upon those who are free? The gaga guru who will save you? This is the most insipid form of enslavement. The hope of freedom.

Accept....

Good fookin' grief, if I watch one more video on how we can liberate as a society, as a people, I swear I will frickin' let lose yesterday's granola.

Oh, but is that "negative"? Am I raining on your kumbaya parade.

The more you attempt to engage the one side, the more the other side surrounds and envelops you. The more you attempt to be "positive," the more the negative owns your arse.

But here's the catch...

You can't be neutral!

Don't think of pink elephants. I demand you NOT think of pink elephants! Are you thinking of pink elephants? Why? Society has instilled in you the commandment NOT to think of pink elephants. How dare you rebel. Stupid fool! If you continue to think of pink elephants we will be forced to deal with you. Those who think of pink elephants...must die!!

Ha! You have no choice, because there is ONLY choice and you must choose. SO go ahead and pick and choose what sits with you. What feels good. What is all comfy cozy..

But keep in mind, your choices make no difference whatsoever.

Best to just choose pink elephants.

Everybody else does....

"Look out! Look out!
Pink elephants on parade
Here they come!
Hippety hoppety
They're here and there
Pink elephants everywhere
Look out! Look out!
They're walking around the bed
On their head
Clippity cloppity
Arrayed in braid
Pink elephants on parade

What'll I do?
What'll I do?
What an unusual view

I can stand the sight of worms
And look at microscopic germs
But technicolor pachyderms is really too much for me

I am not the type to faint
When things are odd or things are quaint
But seeing things you know that ain't can certainly give you an awful fright

What a sight!
Chase 'em away! Chase 'em away!
I'm afraid, need your aid
Pink elephants on parade
Pink elephants...
Pink elephants...
Pink elephants.."

Happy...

2012-05-13T14:15:00.001-04:00

Egocentric Absurdus Absentis Consilium

2012-04-26T08:12:00.000-04:00

"Imagining living in a universe without purpose may prepare us to better face reality head on. I cannot see that this is such a bad thing. Living in a strange and remarkable universe that is the way it is, independent of our desires and hopes, is far more satisfying for me than living in a fairy-tale universe invented to justify our existence." LINK

Truth has no rules (other than being true) simply because it has NO limitations and that which has NO limitations cannot have egocentric 'purpose' (every purpose is egocentrically generated and defined otherwise you wouldn't know of it). Limitation is nothing more than an egocentric interpretation that unconsciously seeks to avoid, at all costs, the naggingly omnipresent possibility that it is has NO purpose. Hence, ego-self just keeps inventing limitations to define what it can never possibly understand.

Therefore, the first rule of egocentricity is that truth(s) must have limits that define its purpose(s). The second rule is that “I" am an individual that can ONLY perceive truth through the filter of limited purposes. Hence, this leads to the third and final rule of egocentricity which is that some individual egocentricles have "truth," while others do not, because some have less limitations in the growing realization that they have no purpose.The fear is that to fully realize absolute purposelessness, right straight through to its hollow center, would be the death of "you."

Alas, complete purposelessness, or 'consilium absentia,' tends to creep up on you until one day it totally overwhelms you. But you can't make it happen, because that which exists to devise purposes for which to know it exists cannot possibly be purposeless on its own.

However, until that Magic Moment, there must be limits to every game an ego plays because ALL egocentricles play games in order to define their purpose. Games are played within limits and require rules, because rules define purpose. Your purpose has always been to follow the rules (any rules).

Egocentricity believes that without rules "you" would drown in a purposeless sea of undulating green phlegmy plasma.

But one day you realize a sense of purposelessness and begin to consider transcending egocentric games. Which only generates more rules, because "you" (rule No. 2) keep looking for the Master Rule Maker (rule No. 3) which itself is a finite game with limits (rule No. 1). You seek The One who will charitably bestow upon you the necessary rules required to achieve your ego transcendent "awakening."

And there’s plenty of Master Rule Makers out there. You can go with Adyashanti or the mysterious Jed McKenna. Or how about Osho or maybe Tolle or Wilber. Why not Maharshi or Nisargadatta? You can jump on any band wagon you please. Maybe Advaita or Zen or Sufism or A Course in Miracles. Engage the heavy hitters like Buddha, Christ or Lao-Tzu.

But, eventually, when you microscopically examine all the Master Rule Makers and their master rule books, you’ll see that the rules have but one purpose and that is to engender some form of limitation. The rules are meaningless and simply do not matter to truth which has never been "perceived" through limitation (since the purpose of perception is to "see" the boundaries and limitations). So, if none of the rules matter, what rules should you follow?

If it really doesn't matter, why not make up your own?

You may find that it is impossible to live in a dream-state without rules and when you fail to follow rules you get stressed-out. To be rule-less in a reality surrounded by rule-lovers can be hard to get used to. So you'll have to follow some of the rules but with the understanding that you have a choice (while those around you may not yet have achieved that recognition)

Besides, egocentricles are not looking to wake from the dream (and no longer be egocentric-ish). They just want to be "happy" (with better sex and more money, yo!)

It’s your dream. So go ahead and make up your own rules. They all did.

Rules ALWAYS prescribe a method to an outcome, a means to an end. Rules literally assert necessarius finium (necessary boundaries). Maybe you should get jiggy with truth being an unnecessary outcome. But this would mean you can't control it through any rules you extract from somebody's rule book.

Ultimately, everyone goes their own way, because nothing is necessary except what you say (and usually what you say you learned MUST be said, which one day you'll see as complete hogwash). Choices made out of necessity must of necessity fail to sustain, simply because they are founded on a dream being “real.” Does it matter what choice you make, if all choices “you” make are unnecessary? Why choose at all if it makes no difference to future choices, since every choice only asserts an unnecessary past choice as guide? Why go backward?

When you feel the desire to choose arising from some purpose, try making no decision and wait for an answer. Don't decide how the answer will come to you and don’t even expect it to come as a thought, feeling or intuition. Only be certain that it will come and just prepare yourself to receive. Make no mistake, if you are waiting for the answer you demand, you will not recognize what’s offered, because you've shut it out by demanding it comply with your RULES.

And just cause it doesn't fit the Master Rule Book, doesn't mean it wasn't FOR you (Haha!)

In the game of "enlightenment," rules are a necessity to egocentricle players. But it’s only a game and you are free to play by any rules you choose. If you can’t get all comfy cozy with one set of rules, try another.

Maybe one day you will be rule-less, completely unfettered and liberated from all rule books, swimming in an ocean of "choiceless awareness" (I like the term, but forget which rulebook it came outa), which has no purpose whatsoever.

But that scares the sheit outa you....

Artwork by Femme Arbre - "Monster"

The Gathering

2012-04-13T21:09:00.001-04:00

I'm posting this for a friendly person who has visited, commented and listed this blog on their website.

This looks very interesting:

http://zoxon.com/

Here is the LINK: The Gathering

They offer a Webcast Series starting this Sunday 4-15-12

Thanks!
mikeS

The Fook-it Koan (and gettin' Jiggy with the flow)

2012-04-09T21:22:00.000-04:00

This kinda 'fuck it' is not defeated (which is why I like to change the spelling). It can't really be talked about either (at least to those who 'care'). But fook-it does not resist or reject, because it's expansive even when painfully contracted beyond all recognition. It's kinda like bawling your eyes out in despair, but the whole time you're, simultaneously, having a good belly laugh (well...kind of).

When you emancipate from the dream, you simply say "fook-it" and keep on dreamin.'

And now you can fook-it with an amusing elegance and deep-spirited pizzazz. You can finally ride the dream-wave and not care about some silly arse "metaphysical" origin or god-hoodie, non-dualistic-ey, rotting carcass of historically conceptual bull-poop.

None of that matters when you get all jiggy with how the dream flows.

"Therefore, send not to know
For whom the dream flows,
It flows for thee."

Fook it doesn't mean you don't care, cause "care" is a conceptual turd blossom of egocentric understanding and so, obviously at this point, you don't care, but just not like you don't care (make sense? not to worry, you'll be groking it soon enough). Just keep asking your self: "how can I 'care,' as if I don't care, but is still caring, even when it isn't and I don't, but really do?" Or "How can I be happy in my suffering, while still continuing to suffer over how happy I am?" (much easier). You can devise all kinds of Fook-It Koans and, believe me, they're loads of fun at parties. All your friends will laugh out loud, because they make absolutely no sense...

...except to you (and you laugh the loudest).

It's an amusing paradoxical conundrum of ineffable proportions, because the only purpose of a dream is to design a 'self' that fits it. A 'self' that conforms to the parameters of dreaming it has purpose and meaning. You believe the "world" taught you, while all along you taught the world what to teach.

Now I realize some of you are reading this thinking, "what kinda of vomitous drivel is this?" Although, others of you are unloading a good chuckle, in recollection of the very moment you emancipated from the dream with a silent, but deadly, "fook-it."

Nobody else would possibly understand what hit ya, after all those years of egocentric gritting and grinding over all that rock hard conceptual candy you've been crunchin' down on all those years from your "gurus" and "masters." It tastes good to egocentricity, but has yet to fill you up (tastes great, less filling!).

Then, one day outa the blue, and you don't even know from whence it came nor how it came up outa you, you just breathed a long deep sigh of relief, looked around and quietly exclaimed (to yourself) "wow... fook-it..." and nothing ever seemed the same again. It was done (and so were "you")

Of course, egocentricity did not like that one bit and you were certainly lectured for your impudence (still to this day!). But even with that, you respond with a fook-it, while weaing your sheit-eating grin. No, not a fuck it, but a fook it. A 'fuck it' just pisses "you" off and that only means you 'care,' which clearly negates fook-it, cause you couldn't care less, but now care more, while NOT giving a sheit at all, whatsoever.

But don't worry if you've not yet emancipated from the dream.

Fook that too!

Planned Obsolesence: When the Spirit Moves Me (and not one moment before)

2012-04-01T17:54:00.000-04:00

I like the saying, "when the spirit moves me" cause that tends to be my modus operandi. Most peeps feel this is lazy or irresponsible, so indebted to 'control' as they are, but it does assert that I don't have a fooking clue as to what "I-me" should be doing, as opposed to all the ones who 'know.'

Yet, I'm continuously informed that ego-self will have none of that, gritting and grinding over "necessary" junk, reminding you "yea, go ahead and say that to your boss, ha!"

Egocentricity, or that tightly contained box of beliefs "you" call "I-me," likes to churn out all kinds of projects through which to "self-actualize."

But those projects aren't really useless cause you do need to perpetuate the belief that "you" exist and that's basically the only purpose they serve.

Nevertheless, your egocentricity is nothing more than a "Planned Obsolescence." Like any artificially designed product, it will break down when the warranty runs out. Luckily, you are approaching that infamous end-date. But note how rigidly you seek to avoid your own "obsolescence." Note how important it is that you continue to be "you."

Let's face it, you can only hold off so long before it all becomes laughingly ridiculous.

Self-actualization is merely the process of continuing to believe "you" exist (with apologies to Maslow). You have to do all kinds of self-actualizing crapola everyday because, when you really examine it closely, existence is such a weak and tenuous idea (although you take it as a given). Other than your body, you really have no other concrete reference point. No other 'physical' actuality to "I-me." Nothing more to stake a claim on other than a scripted mass of dramatic bullsheit that you claim "important" stuff to your "life."

Everyday ego-self has to do things to confirm itself as a real "self" (or something as opposed to nothing). Constant struggle and hard work is needed to affirm the "I-me" concept, but you call it normal everyday functioning. Like getting angry, bored, tired, cheerful, depressed, happy, sick, indignant, peaceful, wired, wigged-out, harmonious, freaky, goofy, spontaneous, thoughtful, compassionate, friendly, loving, resentful, etc, etc, etc. These states of being are your "gravity." They keep you grounded into an "I-me" reference point, but have no other usefulness than that, regardless of your dramatic boo-hooing in protection of the self.

Then there's the work of justifying the rightness and wrongness, or good and bad, of what it's choosing as a means of self-actualizing in the moment. Like a few minutes ago my boss pissed me off and, obviously, I have every 'reason' to justify my pissed-offness! And this confirms, not that "I AM," but that I AM... 'pissed-off!' This reliance on 'emotion' helps me 'hammer down' the I Am as an I AM..as something.

Ahhh...egocentricity in all it's grandiose, ridiculous glory! Are you NOT laughing yet? Of course not! That would spell your doom...

Ego-self doesn't consider it's anger or pissed-offness as self-actualizing. Rather, it believes peace and kumbaya "happy" are self-actualizing. But, every time you jet out your rage, on some violator of your kumbaya, you're self-actualizing. Every instance of rage or resentment, or whatever, is another instance of egocentricity asserting a "self' into the blank ether of nothingness as a means of achieving somethingness, even though nothingness doesn't budge an inch and couldn't care less what something your fixated on as a means of defining yourself.

Just because ego-self doesn't see it this way don't mean squat to the self-actualization and self-development you thrust upon the world and 'others' on a daily basis. It's all self-actualizing, no matter what comes out your mouth or rolls around in your head. "Fuck you!" is as self-actualizing to egocentricity as "I love you." Both have the same purpose. Both are nothing more than insubstantial attempts to assert the "I-me-mine" as "real." It makes no difference if it's actually true, since just the act of injecting a "self" into your mind makes it true for "you" (which has NO truth to it whatsoever, since you make up all kinds of bullsheit in your mind). Therefore, your "I love you" is as tenuous and inconsequential as "fuck you!" They both serve as means of self-actualizing, but have no other value to an ego-self.

This is the primordial fact of egocentricity. Doesn't matter what you inject, as long as you're injecting something into nothing, because there can never be just nothing.

To realize nothing would obviously be the death of you. So you fully engage space/time as a means of actualizing emptiness. You jack your "self' up all over the damn place, hoping 'something' will finally grant you some semblance of peace and happiness. But one day you will be slapped squarely in the face with the fact that nothing does or ever will.

You're on your own Bubba louey!

So go ahead and try injecting 'nothing' into all those special 'somethings' that you hold so dear. Nope, won't work.

You can't do it can you?

Keep trying....

Artwork by Ricardo Salmanca - "untitled"

Justifying the Pulp Fiction of Desperate Housewives

2012-03-15T18:26:00.001-04:00

You cannot deny the fact that truth simply demands that you see LIES. You needn't worry what truth IS, just tease out everything in your "life" that isn't true and detach from an outcome or result.

You don’t even need to claim that it’s all an “illusion.” Let’s simply call it…

…fictional.

So what fictions are you seeking to justify today? The importance of getting to work on time? The pressing need to get your nails done? Obama should be re-elected? Marble counter tops? Or just watch the game and have a beer? Maybe bang your "spouse" and then read a good book before dropping off to sleep? Ya know, you really need to spend more time with your kids, cause how else will you justify a lack of selfishness. And how will you ever justify being a good “son” if you don’t call your mother?

Your lifestyle, your job, your marriage and family. All justifiable fiction. Your work, your career, your house, your car, your money, all story-book make believe. That orgasm you had last night is as fictional as “Desperate Housewives” on your HDTV. But, don’t worry, it’s all "real" and not "illusion." It’s just a fictional "real" that you justify experiencing so that you can regulate your emotions accordingly and experience the full spectrum of egocentricity as it was meant to be.

Is it all nothing more than fictional drama to fill empty space and time? Could it all be completely meaningless?

Awakening to truth will seems like driving in reverse until you slam into the brick wall from behind, which suddenly propels you rapidly forward. Make no mistake, everything must be consciously SEEN as left behind. You must drive in reverse so that you see all the fictions rapidly receding into the back ground…

…directly in front of you.

And when you hit the wall you’re propelled right back into and through it all as if it never even existed because…

… it never even existed.

Make no mistake, it’s gonna really hurt to know your life is and always has been a meaningless fiction. But the deep depressing state of disillusionment must be experienced fully and deeply. When you get a belly full of your pulp fiction, you might then be ready for truth. Consider your plummet into the nothingness of the rabbit hole as a necessary precursor to seeing how the dream hides the rabbit hole. You never know it's there until your hurtling down it.

But don’t get yourself in a lather. Egocentric depression is purely conceptual and is as fictional as “Desperate Housewives.” You’ve piled concepts upon concepts, fictions atop fictions, and are suffocating in a drama of your own design. Fictional suffering is an ego-centered demand that the world conform to your fictions, all the while negating the fact that your fictional concepts gave the world all the meaning it ever had for you in the first place.

In truth, a fictional world means nothing, because you mean nothing and, if that’s true, then maybe you should stop justifying “you.” It's easy to watch the nightly news and lament the absurdity of the world, while denying the experience of a "world" is IN you.

Even as we speak, many of you are experiencing episodes of gut-wrenching disillusionment with your fictional concepts (your “life”) and, although egocentricity conceptualizes and experiences these times as failures, they are episodes of resounding success (so don't give in to the antidepressants).

You have to drop back to make the leap forward. The slingshot must be pulled back as far as possible, almost to the breaking point, if you want to make great distance with your projectile (“you”).

But these backward slides will be marked by long bouts of incapacitating, and often excruciatingly painful, depression. Because, let's face it, who wants to see how ridiculous their "life" really is? Nevertheless, disillusionment is what you have been seeking all along (but you don’t realize that until the end). Antidepressants are selling like candy these days. Could it be that millions are avoiding the process of waking up?

The only way to wake from a dream is to no longer want what the dream offers. However, be forewarned. When you no longer want what the dream offers, everything you wanted will fall on you like an avalanche. But, by then, you couldn't care less. Until then, look at what you care about. Is it truth or fiction?

Truth requires NO control, but fiction must be meticulously fabricated.

You will learn that what you have always sought to control was lost to you the moment you tried to control it. The moment you sought to have it, you detached yourself from the universal patterns that would unfold right in front of you and that need none of your egocentric justifications for controlling what “happens.” Truth happens because it must, as it always has.

This is why you demand to be disillusioned from your fictions. You can deny, delay and debate it, but this is where everyone eventually winds up.
Who are “you”? How do you justify the things you do? Why must you need to? What’s your justification for not dying? How do you justify the desire to remain alive?

You will one day surrender the Justification Process. This is an ego-centered process of continually seeking justification for every choice you make.

When you realize that there is NO justification for anything you DO, everything you do becomes an exercise in futility.

But it’s a wonderfully effortless futility that you might come to enjoy.

Artwork by Mark Ryden - "Allegory of the Four Elements"

LINKS: Compromising with Bullshit

From ‘Full O’ Crap’ to No-Crap: Turd Blossoms in a CrapFest

2012-02-29T21:09:00.001-05:00

I often receive emails pointing out that what I post here is nothing but pure “crap.” So for these more astute readers I will define the nature of enlightenment in the scatological concepts they easily understand.

On your life journey, you have a choice. Comfort or truth. One allows mindless wallowing in your ‘crap,’ pretending all the while to be crapless. The other demands you free yourself from ALL your 'crap' and engage the dream with the excitement and vigor one should expect from playing out crappy fantasies and lies.

The fact is that Truth is completely crap-free.

But how do you know if what you’re attached to is not truth, but really ‘crap’?

Simple. Do you care about it?

Not sure? Cut it loose and find out. When you feel the pain of loss then know that it was ‘crap.’ Slash free the moorings on all your values and morality and send adrift your beliefs about everything you own and everyone you relate to. Flush all your dreams and aspirations down the toilet and feel the sharp exquisite pain of self-dissolution or the slash and burn of the conceptual “you” (crap).

But the "good" part is that after you cut away all your ‘crap,’ you can bring it all back into play with no attachment whatsoever. Play infinitely in the world simply through knowing the difference between 'crap' and truth.

Realizing ‘crap’ is quite liberating and does free one to fully engage the 'crap' of others and the world, absent the burden of all your ‘crap.’ What else stands between you and complete freedom but ‘crap’? What is it that separates and divides, but your ‘crap’? (not theirs, just yours. Ego projection is 'crap').

We're all attached to ‘crap.’ It's the nature of existence to jump and splash around in ‘crap.’ There’s NO denying we all stink to high heaven. But the olfactory is the weakest sense, causing you to remain unconsciously mired in the putrid stench of our own ‘crap.’ Although the stink never really goes away, the smell always dissipates for "you," which allows continuing the ‘crapfest’ with all the other ‘crap-slingers’ you’ve come to know, “love” and rely on to validate your ‘crap’ (which reminds me of a famous Koan: If a bear shits in the woods, and no ones around to smell it, does it stink?)

The world is a ‘crapfest’ of complete strangers only known by their 'crap' and all validating each others 'crap' as a means of denying a crappy existence. “Hey, Billy Bob. That’s some great crap you got there. How many years of school to get that crap?”

However, it's not necessarily the fact that you're attached to your 'crap.' It's that you're attached to 'crap' that you are not even aware of as 'crap.' To not know your life smells like 'crap' is ignorance. The unexamined 'crap' is not worth living (through).

Enlightenment is nothing more than knowing 'crap' when you smell it and not pretending it's anything but 'crap.' Whenever you feel all egocentrically bloated over some important choice you have made, recognize it as a time to unload some 'crap.' It’s amazing how oppressed some are by the weight of their own 'crap.' You can see the strain of retention in their faces. The pain of too many years carrying around way too much 'crap.' But they’re loathe to let go their 'crap' when they see so many others carrying more 'crap' than they have, because hauling around a load of 'crap' is a national pastime.

But you think it's important 'crap' which is okay. Lotsa important "crap" out there, but more importantly it’s still 'crap.' What you have yet to realize is that your important 'crap' is just as 'crappy' as what you consider dumb 'crap.' So stop differentiating between 'crap.'

Consider “enlightenment” merely the crystal clear recognition of ‘crap’ with NO delusion it being anything else but “crap.” Truth is really nothing more than this…

Do you say to yourself, "oh, how I love the crap I worked so hard to achieve!"? Of course not!

But shouldn’t you?

When you reach a certain point...you will. You will laugh, “ha ha! look at all the crap I call my life.” You will proclaim this without anguish and dread, but with pure joy over how you could of ever thought your 'crap' was anything more than just plain old ‘crap.’ And this time you will mean it right down to your sphincter.

Your emancipation proclamation from ‘crap’ will be intensely liberating. But does this mean you will no longer be playing in 'crap'? Not at all. Enlightenment only requires your full realization of 'crap.' From this realization, what happens next makes NO difference whatsoever. When the ‘crap' is seen as 'crap,' it’s immediately outa your hands (cause who wants to hold crap?) and you need no longer rely on the ego-self that only knows it exists through its incessant ‘crap’ slinging.

No matter how you slice up your 'crap’ (continually justifying its necessity by claiming it doesn’t stink) you still got nuthin' but ‘crap.’ Go ahead and trying slicing up your 'crap' and learn for yourself how crappy 'crap' must remain no matter how it is formulated, justified, explained, defined, pontificated, internalized, externalized, spiritualized and configured through all your crappy concepts which you righteously superimpose upon 'crap' as a means of making it less…crappy. Consider 'crap-cutting' an enlightenment "action-step" and get back to me with your observations.

Oh, but I'll bet you'll squirm and whine, "ewe, I don't wanna cut up my own ‘crap’! This is why so few have attained liberation from 'crap.' Turd dissection is a crappy business, but it must be done for Craplessness to be experienced.

Yet, keep in mind, in a world of 'crap,' some crap is a higher grade 'crap' than that which you have become accustomed to and learn nothing from in your desire to hold onto your own special ‘crap.’ Higher grade ‘crap’ is a learning vehicle from which you will come to recognize your constant attempts to distinguish between levels of 'crap' is nothing but another instance of pure crap.

Consider it the "turd blossom" from which your enlightenment will bloom.

But you must not reject and be willing to accept, and breathe deeply, of the 'crap' which makes learning possible. Whenever you feel that deep gnawing, burning sensation in your gut, recognize that you have come face to face with “The Teacher” in the form of useless 'crap' and the need to unload it. Whenever you experience a sense of elation or joy, listen for the tiny voice saying “this too will pass,” and realize it’s just more ‘crap.’

One day you will recognize that every thought an ego-self “thinks” is 'crap.' Every belief, every emotion and every thought is 'crap.' A famous Master Teacher once said, “thoughts are like assholes, everybody’s got 'em and they all stink.” The Spotless Mind is obviously crap-free.

Pretending to discern the universal nature of all 'crap' is disingenuous, particularly when you continue to assert or even imply that some crap has value above others. The nature of crap is crappy. All crap exists to demonstrate itself as nothing more than ‘crap.’ Feigning an experience of NO-CRAP, in the presence of the truly crapless, is just another example of pure 'crap' and you will inevitably be revealed as stinky. In this reality you love so much (crap) you demand levels and grades of 'crap,' which only keeps you transfixed on your smelly dualistic world, with no relief from the continued stench of your own 'crap.'

You are literally suffocating. All you need do is stop denying the stink and seek fresh air.

Therefore, it is true that I am providing 'crap.' However, within your crappy reality all learning must utilize the 'crap' provided. Henceforth, I will continue to provide my usual 'crap' from which the true nature of 'crap' may be exposed to those who wish to see their 'crap' in vivid Technicolor (never a pretty sight).

Look at your life. Your 'crap' demands a mind-numbing regularity to your existence and you find the need for justification utterly exhausting. How does one justify 'crap'? Simply by holding ones nose? Deep down you recognize that egocentricity is 'crap' and you long to jump free of the pile you created.

Reject looking closely at your 'crap' and continue to suffer through the usual 'crap' by your usual method of pretending your 'crap' really doesn't smell that bad, in comparison to other 'crap' that really stinks up the joint.

Attain the realization that it is all 'crap' and finally rise above the stench you have become so accustomed to by disingenuously claiming it actually…

…smells like roses.

Dreamosis

2012-02-13T22:36:00.000-05:00

You want to fit it ALL tightly into your containers. But in a dream everything melts into everything else and nothing is what it seems even the exact moment it is seen (since egocentric moments are infused with past/future).

In a dream, boundaries, parameters, borders, lines, etc, magically disappear. Values and morality flip flop from side to side, and back again and logic becomes nothing more than a game of chance.

The only integrity available in a dream is that it IS a dream and nothing more.

Egocentric dreamosis grits and grinds over making it mean what it's supposed to mean and this is how a dream is woven. Meanings dance madly around together, until it's damn near impossible to tell what anything means. But the discerning egocentric 'eyeball' is quick to conjure up meanings from what seems like total nonsense. It simply injects into the void what was NOT there before. This is how nothing can always mean something (at least for a little while, until it dissolves away like it always must).

Dreamosis has the strange paradox of experiencing symptoms that arise from LOSS. A dream of deprivation is constructed from what you DO NOT want, not from what you DO want. You dream of wealth because you DO NOT want to be poor. You dream of fame because you DO NOT want obscurity and you dream of love simply because you DO NOT want to be alone.

Egocentricity has no idea what it wants and must conjure up its desires directly from what it does NOT want which is always a reflection of what it believes it LACKS.

Yet, because the egocentric self is nothing but a dreamed-up concept of "you," it must conjure up supporting concepts to make the dream of "you" seem real. What good would a "self" be without a body or a body without a world in which other bodies come together for a spell and then, just as quickly, split apart never to be experienced again. Hence, it is crucial to egocentricity that the dream determine purpose and not YOU, because that's the purpose of the dream.

You paint the dream with broad strokes, but rant and rave over the details.

Why lament all the ways of dropping dead in a dream of death. It's patently absurd to feel buffeted about in a dream of chance and still grieve missed opportunities and it is pure insanity to dream of hate and still seek to find the love you have insured cannot be found no matter where you look in a dream.

To do this is to be afflicted with the condition of dreamosis and the only cure is to recognize that the nature of your disease...

...is a dream.

Artwork by Marco Escobedo - "Disintegration"

Dreamiferous

2012-02-05T07:58:00.000-05:00

The dream is always yours. Yet, egocentricity propels it away and restricts it to limiting coordinates or finite "truths" of space/time and demands others determine for us what will happen.

It could be anything you choose, if you KNEW you had the free-will to do so.

You are your mind and, although you do admit complete control of that mind, you do NOT trust what it shows you. The paradox of this is not lost on you, but you have no idea as to how to collapse that paradox and, therefore, you continue to distrust your "world."

You are dreamiferous, because the dream is abundantly apparent to you and cascades in vivid color within you. It fills your mind completely and you can't deny this no matter what limits you apply to that experience. The experience is always yours to do with as you please.

What do YOU do with it?

Some try renouncing it, escaping it, denying it, hating some parts and loving others. But it continues to claim your mind and it batters and beats you down.

Many have difficulties with the concept of "dream" or "illusion."

Okay, how about "idea"?

Possibly this fits better for you than that of a “dream.” Consider that every experience that has “outside” coordinates (time/space, etc) is an “inside” experience. It is only an "idea." This plays into “seek the kingdom of heaven within” (paraphrased).

If the “inside” experience, of an “outside” world, is not to your liking, what responsibility rests upon you to change the inside as opposed to simply lament the “outside” or seek, through relative applications of good-will and charity (not always amenable to others), to change the “outside"?

For centuries we have sought to change the outside and have generally failed completely, with little to show for. There is a growing movement that seeks to alter that equation. But they are not very apparent on the “outside.” For them, change is very much a factor of the “inside” but completely absent the “outside.”

In your dream you are victim to an "outside" that is draining you of all "inner" ecstasy. Your Mojo is depleted and experiences of a material world is making you into nothing but a "thing."

If you want the sublime you must dream it TRUE. Otherwise, it simply cannot be any other way. The rapture of nirvana is nothing but another condition of an infinite dream that knows it is nothing but a dream.

You believe you are expert at determining what you do NOT want, but have little idea as to what you DO want. Hence, what you receive must leave you, as you MUST always seek something else. The moment you FIND what you seek, doubt must enter proving it is NOT for you. Nothing has ever sustained you and, from consistent reliance on this past learning, you have preordained that nothing ever will. Can you NOT see this?

You are the cause of change. You do not trust your “self” nor do you trust what that “self” wants and makes real by wanting.

You have little choice but to trust in something NOT of “you.” This seems to be the most difficult choice you MUST make and one that you appear to be avoiding at all costs, because it is the ONLY choice you need EVER make again.

You are approaching that decision and the pain of this seems excruciating. But can you not see the experiences you have allowed your “self” only bring you closer to that choice? Can you not see that you do this to yourself and can you not see the reason why? Can you not see that you are and have always been the only teacher?

Trust the purpose of what you make “real,” because everything has a purpose. You may determine that you do NOT want what you have, but clearly, the purpose of a dream is to awaken TO the dream and everything in that dream must conform to that purpose. The purpose of what is NOT “real” can only be to show you what IS. Nothing in a dream can be trusted and the purpose of what you do NOT trust is to show you what you CAN.

That which desires to awake, trusts the dream to teach it. Your dream has this purpose. Trust in that purpose and superimpose that purpose upon your dreaming.

Artwork by Jose Emroca Flores - "Against the Grain"

Dreamacious

2012-01-24T12:23:00.000-05:00

The dreamacious are always expanding and filling up on the dream, rather than constricting and hiding from it. They have denied victimization from the thoughts that give meaning to the images that are "perceived" and believed to be "real."

The dreamacious negotiate the experiences of the mind for the purpose of rejoicing, rather than for the purpose of suffering. To be dreamacious is to change the dream by the very act of moving into and embracing what is "there" and, thus, changing it. To be dreamacious is to be absent fear and to allow truth to filter all experiences.

The dreamacious are fully engaged in the Mojo of Being. They have nothing to fear from dreaming and, hence, are completely prepared due to their complete unpreparedness. They predict nothing and expect only surprise. They are not victim to chance, because even chance is experienced within the parameters of certainty. They do not renounce or condemn egocentricity, but are fully aware of it and are not ruled by it.

Ego drops off them like raindrops on a hot summer night.

The dreamacious are infinite players in a finite dream. They care not for labels such as "real" or "illusion." They know that nothing leaves the mind, so what it's called makes no difference. It's always theirs to do with as they please. The dreamacious are filled up with the dream and seek to escape no parts of it.

People come in and out of the dream and the dreamacious are always surprised by the forms that are experienced. Some are brief and some long, but the forms always change. While the content remains the same.

The dreamacious see only content. They have little interest in the forms that change in time. They only see the rich content that the forms seem to hide.

The dreamacious can look right through you to the infinite center that you seem to always miss. But they don't mind showing you, if you like. But it's pretty easy to be dreamacious.

All you have to do is see the dream.

Artwork by Marsille - "Dreaming in Blue"

Dreamitude

2012-01-22T08:48:00.000-05:00

...refers to any attitude which began in dream and still dominates even after awaking from it - "I had a major dreamitude when I woke up because of the terrible things he did to me in my dream." (urban dict)

The mood persists. But you woke long ago.

Look at everything you do. It's all about making sense of the senseless. Trying to extract from the world something you can trust, because you generally do not trust your "self." Eventually everything and everyone you invest in, as true and reliable, must fail you. Trust fades in a dream because nothing lasts. Such is the nature of a dream.

Egocentricity is a dream of abandonment. Of being cast adrift and alone. But there is no land for which to find safety and security. There is only endless chaotic drifting from one wave to the next. Eventually, you will drown. Everyone drowns eventually. It seems to be the only choice.

Death is inherent to the nature of your dream.

There is nothing to anchor to. There is NO land and there will be NO rescue. Everyone you look to for rescue will pass you by, only to fade into the horizon. At first it seems they will help you, but they too must fade from view. Fading is inherent to the dream and all things must fade.

There is only one hope for the castaway and that is to recognize he is dreaming. To realize one is dreaming is to toss overboard the idea of "reality" and "truth."An endless ocean holds only one truth and that is death. Ask any lifelong sailor.

Surrender the notion that the lifeboat is sinking (if only it would!). The drifting only continues endlessly. Eventually, you will jump off the boat as a means of saving your "self." But you will not hear the words "man overboard" as you go under. In the dream of a castaway, it is expected you will jump. Everyone jumps eventually.

Such is the nature of your dream.

Artwork by Vladimir Kush - "Ripples on the Ocean"

The Egocentric Puppet

2012-01-21T12:11:00.000-05:00

Time is empty. It has no substance and it cannot be experienced in and of itself.

Yet, the moment an experience is evaluated, time rises up to meet it.

Hence, time seems to be the process of experience, evaluation and response. You have an experience, you make an evaluation and you respond from that evaluation.

It seems to you that your day is nothing more than a process of evaluating good and bad experiences and within this process 'time' seems to unfold. If you made no evaluative judgements on your experiences, time would cease to be experienced and what is NOT experienced does NOT exist.

You believe you have an experience and then you provide a response based on your evaluation of that experience. You believe this is nothing more than a basic cause and effect equation.

You remember little of infancy except up to a point at which you then made evaluative interpretations of experience. And it was crucial that you remember your evaluations for future recall. Such is the formation of the egocentric existence.

You now know your evaluations by heart. You can evaluate reality with your eyes closed and two hands tied behind your back, as the responses unfold magically like clockwork. Every sensation is anticipated and prepared for and happens generally as expected within the parameters of chance.

Chance has very strict parameters. You know you can't flap your arms and fly, so there's no point of even preparing for that chance. But you do know that if you step off a 10 story ledge you will fall to your death and so, you'd never take that chance.

But what if this process was altered? What if 'evaluation' preceded experience? What if evaluations already made determined what was experienced?

Yet, you believe the world is dreaming and you are nothing more than a victim of that fantasy. The world is cause and "you" are its effect.

Yet, the world does not dream of your suffering. That's in your mind and no where else. It is exclusive to "you." If you are nothing but a puppet, then why suffer as you seem to? Why would a puppet suffer, knowing it is not real, but made by the world?

Therefore, the question has yet to be answered:

Did the world dream you up or did you dream up the world?

One answer leads to your liberation from the strings.

The other to your death (because you're already dead).

Artwork by George Grie - "Dreams of Flying"

Ego's Don't Evolve. They Die!

2012-01-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

In these difficult times we are going through, you'll find many who claim that we are experiencing an "evolutionary growth spurt." This gives egocentricity comfort, as if to say, better things are yet to come as we engage in the process of "conscious evolution" Yea!!

Problem with this is that egos don't evolve...

...they die.

How can a self-concept ("I"), that includes a belief in 'death'...

...evolve?

That makes no fooking sense (but you believe it).

Of course, bodies seem to evolve. Intellect seems to evolve and scientific discovery evolves, etc, etc.

But the egocentric self simply dies. It may seem that the 'self' amasses greater "knowledge," thereby, inventing more ingenious techno-baubles to play with. But essentially egocentricity, and all the things egos desire and want, never ends. Egocentricity still seeks to control its experiences and make them conform to its egocentric schemes and plans. This has occured for centuries and will continue to occur unless and until...

...ego can TRANSCEND itself.

Yet, to transcend something is to leave it behind, extract it and jettison it out and away. Of course, this is hard for ego to do, because it likes itself so damn much (well, don't you?).

And so, egocentricity will continue to do what egocentricity has always done and always WILL do. This includes the grandiose notion that it is somehow "evolving" or becoming a better, more improved ego. Hence, egocentricity (the whole, not just the parts) will come up with more ingenious methods of "evolving" itself. It will continue to develop more expert self-development techniques all in the name of "evolution."

But it will continue to be ego and nothing more. Just a shinier and more compact package of beliefs to play with.

What egocentricity will need to do is transcend itself.

But, obviously, it's very difficult for an ego to transcend itself or leave itself behind by jettisoning itself out and away from itself.

Of course, to do that means you'd probably have to not give a sheit about it anymore. Like, not care what ego needs or wants, and what ego's ever gonna do that?

The great question of our times, if we ever wish to stop repeating the same horrific bullsheit ("man's inhumanity to man"), is not how do we evolve...

...but how do we transcend.

But, nevermind, "you" keep on "evolving" in your egocentricity and make note of all the new ways you can suffer being "you."

Make no mistake, egocentric evolution only means more innovative and ingenious ways...

...of suffering.

Isn't it time to transcend all that?
(and don't ask me how to do that, cause that's a question only an ego would ask and another ego would answer)

Artwork by ALMaNeGrA- "Parasite"

The Curse of Egocentric “Care”

2012-01-10T10:49:00.000-05:00

It is impossible to understand TRUTH while continuing to maintain goals for your world. The mind does not cease from making the dream ”real.” The “world” unravels within you even when you believe your thoughts are insubstantial and have NO effect. Seeking to quiet the mind through meditation, while still attached to the chief substance of your “reality,” only reinforces sacrifice and sacrifice must always entail suffering because you believe you will LOSE.

Deprivation is the substance that makes up the dream and deprivation can only enlist the fear that demands CONTROL.

When your “care” for another is a direct product of fear, it serves only to magnify that which spawned it. Fear always seeks to CONTROL what it “cares” for and your constant vigilance toward controlling your world is utterly exhausting you.

When egocentricity seeks to apply control to its experiences, this informs the mind that the threat of LOSS is “real,” insuring the result will be experienced as you ask and LOSS will be real, but only in your mind.

What you ask for, you always receive. Make no mistake, what you CONTROL, as a result of “care,” you will LOSE, because you have insured this FACT by the very nature of your control. This is exactly how the “world” you experience is constructed. It makes no difference if the world is real or illusion. The ‘experience’ is always a conceptual construct encountered only in your mind and no where else "in the world."

Seeking to CONTROL the concepts of experience, demands victimization to the experience itself. You are ruled by concepts, but the concepts you made up.

If you are not increased by a “desire,” know that you have limited yourself by applying conditions that only inhibit freedom. You know very well the feelings that come from fear. But you have no experience of the joy inherent to the complete absence of fear. As long as you seek to control your fears, your fears can only multiply.

What in your life do you NOT seek to control?

Fear and control are in DIRECT relationship with one another. There is NEVER the one without the other. The more fear you experience, the more control you apply and the more control applied the more fear must naturally increase. You cannot break this cycle by addressing FEAR, simply because you fear everything (apparent by all your attempts at control). But you can give up control. Until fear is banished from your mind, choices must be made to control the dream from within it.

Controlling your inner experiences from outside the mind, merely asserts the experience’s control of YOU.

There has never been a moment from which you corresponded with your world completely absent fear and you struggle to let go of control because your fear makes it necessary. In the dream of “you,” nothing is made to last. Even that which makes you “happy” is rigidly encased in the fear of dissolution and deprivation. Therefore, surrendering control is tantamount to “death,” because you equate “life” with ever greater control of your experience of a “world.”

Control demands ‘meaning,’ since you care not for what is meaningless. Hence, everything MUST have a meaning and from that meaning an experience of a "world" unfolds within you and you seek to control that experience.

How else do you define your “happiness” if not the complete control of your environment and everyone in it? You demand the “world” conform to your expectations and concepts. Those you care for must attempt to conform to your expectations else you will extract your “care” in an attempt to make them meaningless. But a meaningless void can NOT be and so you simply change the meaning from love to hate. You invent concepts to rationalize exclusion and banishment.

But the experience is IN you and never leaves you. Hence, you always abandon only your "self."

Those you claim to love become victims of your control, just as you become victim to them in a symbiotic state of mutual victimization, because love without fear is completely unattainable to egocentricity. It makes lame and ridiculous attempts to establish a foundation of joy, only to allow fear to destabilize the foundation until the entire building must crumble of its own oppressive weight.

The infinite drive to love unconditionally must always exist because it’s a super-conscious motivation, which simply means it is not available to conscious or subconscious egocentricity, which thinks in finite conditioned terms. But you cannot deny the drive, because the super-conscious is always more powerful as your Prime Directive and is the original motivation for everything you do. Even though that motivation must be diluted and stifled by what “you” add to the mix, it never leaves you. What you add is fear and the subsequent need for control.

But you long for love from the very core of your being.

Can you love without expectation? Does your love require specific modes of reciprocation? Do you expect a return on your investment? What outcomes do you demand? Must you protect from rejection? Does the past inform all your decisions on how to "care”?

Even the purity of maternal love is momentarily withheld when violation occurs and expectations remain unmet. The only consideration is what to control and how much. But control is never absent from the “love” of the solitary egocentric “self,”seeking to pursue happiness through control.

Your love is a game with rules for controlling the desired outcomes. If the outcomes are absent, egocentric “love” becomes fear and all subsequent decisions must in some way involve attack. You have experienced abandonment before and so you believe your protective mechanisms are crucial.

The only way you will ever release from fear is by understanding there is nothing to fear. The only way you will realize this FACT is by surrendering your control. The only way to surrender control is to dissociate completely from egocentric “care.” Egocentric “care” is a vicarious means of self-actualizing through the control of another under the guise of “love.”

To care for another egocentrically is to commit another to a form of bondage, in which your care for me is a gift requiring my gratitude in return. Not to reciprocate is to expect condemnation or, at the least, complete withdrawal. My failure to reciprocate as expected makes me guilty and all guilt demands punishment.

The ego-self simply constructs religions to justify this kind of sacrificial persecution. If “God” condemns than so must egocentricity and such is the egocentric “Word of God.”

Increase awareness of your egocentric conditions by recognizing the pain experienced when those conditions are unmet by another. Egocentric “care” is devoid of equality and notes failures and imbalances in the caring of another. Give to me in the expectation of my reciprocating equally on a future date and you have cursed not only me, but yourself, to the suffering of egocentric “care.”

The ego is constantly differentiating levels and degrees through comparisons. This is a subconscious motivation not even known to super-conscious mind. But it is chief mechanism of egocentricity for self-actualizing through the love and care of others.

Egocentricity is merely a tool employed to maintain a “Dream of Existence” as separate from the dreamer. Although its purposes seem myriad, this is really its only objective. Egocentric “care” is nothing more than one aspect of this denial, but it is pervasive in maintaining effective distance between the concept of “you” and the concept of “them.”

Till death do you part…

Artwork by Ken Keirns - "Fishing"

The System

2011-12-28T22:21:00.000-05:00

So who will you look to as savior now? Who will you "elect" to bring your hopes and dreams to fruition? What personality has the power to finally invoke enduring "change"? And who will eventually betray your dreams? Who will fail to fulfill as only you have come to expect?

The problem is NOT the person, but The System.

Individuality gets sucked up into The System like dust bunnies in a vacuum to be invalidated entirely. The System eventually invalidates all 'individuals' who seek to change or restructure The System.

The System is indestructible and growing exponentially day by day, year by year.

The system demands you seek the "antichrist" and provides many to choose from. Reflections of good and evil pop up like jack-in-the box clowns, easily distracting you from The System. The System actively obfuscates itself into obscurity because it cannot risk your awareness of its ultimate aims and intentions.

But your continued obedience keeps it well fed.

It's a natural symbiosis as The System feeds you, while you feed it. It gives you all your fears so that it can provide a sense of comfort and safety. Every attempt to dissemble The System merely results in a replicating substitution. For instance, did “slavery” ever really end?

Nothing can exist outside The System and even renouncing The System is simply subsumed and incorporated into it. The System distracts and engages, fascinates and enrages. With its nebulously complicated details, all the while it maintains your unconscious allegiance to its universal intent.

Your very desire to be an “individual” demands you allegiance to The System. The System is a labyrinth of complexity aiding in your failure to see its stark simplicity. The System actually reinforces that there is NO exit by providing you seemingly infinite escape hatches that only bring you back into The System.

Everything you identify with is a gift of The System (even, and especially, your "God"). The system provides what you loathe as well as love. The System is always with you, from the moment you wake until you close your eyes in sleep and even your dreams are consumed by what The System provides.

Can you feel it in you? Moving you? Motivating your actions and desires? It breathes life into you and you never tire of thinking of it in all the ways it has determined it should be considered. Because without The System “you” could NOT exist.

It is not the Illuminati or the International Banking Cartel. It’s not the Republicans or The Democrats, conservatives or liberals. It’s not Christians or Muslims. It’s not the government, the CIA, Halliburton, the Rothschild’s, the North Koreans, Al Qaida, your boss, your spouse, your mother-in-law, your dumb-ass neighbor, etc, etc. None of this matters...

It’s The System and everything is merely a part of that WHOLE, acting and behaving as the system requires.

It demands you remain pitifully weak and ignorant by installing saviors who must eventually bow down to The System. Your “Jesus” and “Buddha” were easily assimilated and injected with the chief motivating principles of The System and every leader you choose has been chosen first by The System. Why else would they now be so inconsequential and insignificant? Why else have they not saved the world?

The System invalidates ALL it touches and it touches everything. Nothing is free of The System. That which is free of The System, does not "exist."

Sometimes you fantasize leaving. Sometimes you wish you could get out from under it. That too is Systematized.

But be careful trying to identify it by its parts, because The System is a WHOLE that demands you know it by its parts. It can only be seen clearly by being seen in its TOTALITY and its prime objective is to keep that from occurring at all costs.Look around you and try to identify what is or is NOT a part of it. The System thrives on your intellectual differentiating, your righteous discernment.

The System taught you the very act of "judgment."

The “self” you love so much (and even your “love") is a product of The System. Rest assured, The System “loves” your children more than you ever could and it loves "you" more than you could love yourself. The children are its future and have inherited that role from those before them. Indoctrination into The System is in perpetual motion, never ceasing and always grinding away that which stands before it attempting to impede its goal.

Think of any one thing or entity that is the origin of The System, or that controls the motivations of it, and you will be entirely wrong. Raging against the specific parts that you loathe only reinforces the strength of The System. It is becoming very strong as of lately.

The System consumes “you” as you consume it. There is little choice, because you really have NO concrete conception of who or what “you” are, just tenuous ideas and notions that are easily sucked up into The System. Egocentricity maintains it and will defend it with its life. The System counts on this and this alone for its continued existence.

The System requires you grit and grind over the individuals The System provides. It makes no difference what personality you choose to save you, or to improve your lot in life. It makes no difference who you choose to hate or fear, because the system will eventually invalidate any and all dreams that do not support IT.

The System loves your rage and lives off your fears. To remain an active participant of The System you MUST remain afraid of something, anything. Hence, The System will continue to develop ever more ingenious methods of assuring your safety and protection and you will continue to accept this no matter how increasingly fearful it makes you.

Yet, not to worry, The System will provide you brief periods of respite through entertaining and engaging pursuits and pastimes, which IT provides as you ASK. This serves to intensify your undying allegiance to its universal intent by remaining unconscious to that intent, till death do you part.

A commitment to total unawareness is all that it asks from you and nothing more. Everything else has been taken care of...

Death is the chief control mechanism of The System, but it is not interested in doom or apocalypse, just your continued fear of an END. But the one essential variable that keeps The System well oiled and fully operational is your hope for "change."

The System has NEVER changed, but it is most certainly growing in strength and your meticulously informed ignorance insures that its growth will continue unabated in perpetuity.

See all of it in WHOLE or you simply won't see The System at all.

Artwork by Anton Semenov - "Society"

The Unexamined Ego is not Worth Living

2011-12-26T18:09:00.000-05:00

For those who read this blog thinking “this guy might have some truths,” I can positively dissuade you of that notion. I have NO idea what the truth is (or isn’t, for that matter).

This site specifically addresses ego dynamics and digging down into why it (“you”) behaves as it does. By understanding the underlying motivations, beyond the generally accepted Freudian unconscious/subconscious drives, there is a chance you may reach a clear “spiritual” center (for lack of a better descriptor). I have experienced such a “center,” but only through momentary glimpses that were immediately subsumed and incorporated into egocentric interpretations (as is usually the case).

In addition, it is my belief that you will not engage that center through pithy platitudes or repetitively lip-servicing the scripts and moral “truths” of antiquity (interpreted by other egos millions and millions of time over). Ego-self easily incorporates ALL that within its own grandiose schemes and this is why most modern spiritual masters often appear the most egotistically afflicted (downright sociopathic actually, but that stands to reason).

In addition, you probably won’t get there through meditative spiritual practices because of the subconscious aspirations and goals that you have for your ‘self’ that are not consciously accessible (even your "spirituality" is steeped in desired outcomes and goals). Any attempt to transcend egocentricity will naturally bend itself and conform to your deep-seated goals without your conscious intent. There are a whole sheitload of egocentric “transcenders” out there and the internet is a breeding ground for the “egocentrically enlightened.”

This type of ego exploration is not well-suited for the polite company of spiritual suburbanites seeking enlightenment through Eckart Tolle's next best seller. Lotsa good stuff said by these folks, but it's all been said before (so has it made any difference to "you"?).

Although, we can’t deny it is ego observing itself, so it’s often best to have a partner. It’s harder to deny your own ego dynamics when someone you trust is pointing it out. This level of understanding demands excruciating honesty and is dreadfully uncomfortable, even downright painful to egocentricity.

It simply means understanding why you do the things you do by understanding that every answer you come up with only demands you go deeper which may include more PAIN (unfortunately, seeking to experience invulnerability is initially wrought with experiences of intense vulnerability). You will know that you’re getting closer simply by the level of resistance you experience to understanding.

The world you experience is exquisitely formulated to deny understanding through normalizing (and ‘comfortizing’) what we refer to as “rational” complexity. Egocentricity worships the chaos of complexity simply by calling it “logic” but it is entirely contingent on sense data.

Yet, be aware that fear will dog your every step, because one thing is certain: NO one, in this experience of "existing," believes he is living authentically.

Everyone recognizes, in some way and on some level, that they are living a lie. In fact, there are many out there who have come to the realization that it’s ALL a lie. But, as many ancient wise-guys have claimed, fear would be very useful if it wasn’t so damn frightening.

But how many really want to dig this deep? Who really wants to face the potential fact that everything they do, everything they think and feel, is nothing but a baseless fabrication? The egocentric mind is void of any Truth whatsoever, by nature of its egocentricity.

The egocentric fear is that by understanding what is or is NOT a lie one must then sacrifice or cut certain parts free. That one must cease from useless actions. This smacks of SACRIFICE and sacrifice only reinforces the experience of deprivation (most likely also a lie). This is an erroneous understanding if you start from the premise that it is ALL a fabrication and, hence, it matters not what you do, but only that you understand WHY.

In this way one can learn to play infinitely in the finite fabrications of “life” and not be bound to necessity, but enriched through free-will (besides, who can ever experience free-will without understanding embodied-ego dynamics?). It terminates the experience that there are things you NEED to do, in opposition to what you WANT to do, as one choice is as insignificant or significant as the other.

But your childhood moral indoctrination impedes this exploration because you believe your values matter. And so, the ego-self chronically perseverates over change and will desperately seek a way to achieve a sense of satisfaction within the nausea of its fabricated experiences. But it will not look too closely for it fears what it might see and merely looks at what it what was taught to look at. Freud called this “sublimation” and believed it necessary to sublimate primitive drives into socially acceptable channels as a means of maintain social cohesion. Unfortunately, this has the reverse affect of stifling any super-conscious motivations NOT contingent on egocentric identities.

As a result, egos are quite comfy in their chosen “lifestyles,” while at the same time, ferociously sickened by that comfort.

Nevertheless, the ego will delude itself through socially conditioned values and morality, which aid in maintaining a framework that holds NO content, but is clearly quite strong in the weight of its vacuous and superficial presence. Like a rugged and reinforced foundation that holds up absolutely NOTHING. This is how egos live and it’s what they come to expect.

It is not the depth of content the ego seeks, but an ever more elaborate framework for which to drape around itself as a means of self-actualizing it existence as “real.”

It collects and controls to assist in reinforcing this foundation. It will accumulate people within specific parameters and in all types of combinations and relationships. It will construct communities, towns, societies marriages, families, etc, etc, not for the depth that could be engaged in these relationships but for which to assert itself in the world.

And then it will naturally complain of the failure inherent in relying on such meaningless surface engagements.

Yet, deep down “you” cannot deny the exhaustion experienced through the failure of the props to provide fulfillment. Egocentricity will inevitably blame the props, while denying that what it propped up to actualize itself can only diminish it. Hence, it may seek out other props, different people, new experiences, accumulate more things. But eventually even that will fail to fulfill.

But NEVER will it look deeply into its own dynamics and, if it does, the pain of what it sees will only drive it back into its experience of a "world" and what the world provides for its self-actualizing and meaningless sustenance.

“I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss.” (The Matrix)

It will become fanatically involved in a “cause” and will take up “spiritual practices,” and burn through numerous "purposes," all the while, deluding itself that it is consciously “evolving.” Egocentricity has no capacity to consciously evolve. It can only turn to the past as the means of knowing itself as a fabricated concept and all future concepts it tacks on are only the residue of that past experience.

For the ego-self, there is simply "nothing new under the sun."

There is no reason to change what you do. No reason to leave your marriage or to stay. No reason to sell your house and move to Big Sur or not to. There is no reason to take up a spiritual practice or zealously adhere to some religio-spiritual ideology that will only further aggrandize your egocentricity (egos are always looking for new and wonderful things to believe). Although you certainly can have a good time doing that. There is no reason to quit your job and become an organic gardener, but that could be an exciting experience for a little while. No reason to read Eckart Tolle or attend the new age seminar. However, there’s no reason NOT to do those things either.

Go ahead and do whatever you wish. But, sometimes, you may have to do some things that you fear doing just to see how it feels so that you can use that fear as a starting point. But don’t sweat it. Eventually it all comes up as it needs to, sooner or later (there is an odd certainty to your always getting what you need when you need it no matter how fooked up it may seem in the moment).

Don’t be shy. It’s only “you.” Swim in the depths of your egocentricity and learn what it is. Discover the reasons for your motivations and closely observe your fears. You will know you are onto something big by the intensity of your discomfort. Take that as a positive and don’t struggle too hard to run away from your mind.

Yet, one day all this might be over (before the reaper appears!). One day there may no longer be anything left to learn. Might be a load of “lifetimes” before that happens. Nevertheless, until then…

…an unexamined ego is not worth living.

Artwork by Anton Semenov - "Auschwitz"

Going South in a Quantum Nano-Second

2011-12-11T19:12:00.000-05:00

It's always amazing how your whole world can go south in a quantum nano-second.

Your best, most well laid plans can be instantly shattered by the smashing of a teacup. Chaos awaits all your aspirations and the ripples of chance will eventually overtake you, completely unaware, disturbing the placid waters of your comfortable life-stream without a moments notice.

And you will make choices that, inevitably, will dash you to pieces against the rocks. Puzzled, you vigorously shake your head, attempting to clear the smoke between your ears to attain some clarity as to "why." But to no avail.

What you thought was right is now suddenly dead wrong.

But your stuck with it. There’s no rewind.

Yet, you thought you knew! You had evaluated the situation with pinpoint precision and, after much thoughtful consideration, made your decision and in that moment it felt so right.

But now its suddenly so wrong.

Emotion restricts and limits the happy horse sheit you call “logic” and your rational judgments are nothing more than a paper wall as emotion crashes through and rips it all to shreds.

Man does not live by thought alone, but is ultimately driven by how he feels about what he thinks.

When will you learn that you cannot KNOW? When will you give up deciding? When will you let it be?

When will you allow CERTAINTY to decide for you?

Make no mistake, that choice you made the other day…

…had to be made and exactly as you made it.

There is either certainty or uncertainty. Both cannot exist simultaneously and, because you can attain to NO accuracy in your judgments, certainty MUST predominate over all judgments in "reality." The appearance of uncertainty is delusional.

This is so excruciatingly hard for egocentricity to roll with, because ego wants to WIN. Ego demands “success” as the means of defining itself as opposing "failure." The ego-self seeks to accurately predict so that it can diligently plan and prepare for the outcome it desires for its future.

And in that suffocating box of predictable preparation, nothing else can be seen and awareness is stifled into complete ignorance. Everything you are preparing for is predicated on what came before. You know nothing else but what came before. All your dreams are entirely contingent on the past, (even though it is the past you run from in predicting your “better future").

This is always a recipe for disaster and it’s why disaster lurks around the corner of every choice you make, waiting to pounce on you with the unbearable weight of uncertainty and doubt.

But that choice you made, that decision you worked so hard on, is just as certain as what comes to you without your egocentric preparation planned from predictions based on the past.

So why bother at all? Why are you working so hard? Why not ease up a little? Why not accept the CERTAINTY of every choice you make?

Your only hope is CERTAINTY. But will you allow it?

Or will you decide you know what’s best? Will you rest upon the accurate predictability of your coveted choices? Will you perseverate upon what is right and wrong? Why do you think you know what the fook you need? Because the past has predicted it?

And when you take your final breathe, will you realize only then that it was all for naught? Will you finally resign yourself to fate?

Can you find comfort in the realization that you have made no “mistakes"? Can you live the rest of your days knowing you have not “succeeded” nor have you ever “failed” and neither assessment can ever again matter? What would happen to your precious values? Do you think God gives a sheit about your made up delusional morality?

Your revel in your egocentric individuality as if “you” meant something.

I would suggest you let it all go south and free yourself of the grinding bondage of your precious beliefs.

One day you will come to the realization that your beliefs don’t make a spit of difference to CERTAINTY.

It remains as CERTAIN today as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow…

Photo by Erik Johansson - "Melting Point"

Cosmic Mojo vs Mojo Hijacking (part 2 of infinite)

2011-12-05T20:28:00.001-05:00

When you were “born,” you were vibrating with intense levels of high Mojo juice. You were so high Mojo, you were buzzin’ and even low Mojo couldn’t help smiling and feeling they’re own Mojo poppin’ whenever they looked at you.

But then low Mojo started cutting off your circuits and hijacking your Mojo Juice. As if your Mojo needed protectin.’ As if too high Mojo might kill yo arse! And you thought, “but why no Mojo, ma, pa?” (well maybe not those exact words). But they insisted that your Mojo go low whenever they said NO. And that’s just plain stoopid, cause high Mojo is how you know you’re ALIVE. It’s low Mojo that finally kills ya.

Look around at all the low Mojo draggin’ they’re feet and plodding through their mundane and dreary lives like a bunch of low Mojo zombies. It’s as if they was just waiting for the Mojo to go…POOF! into thin air.

You probably don’t remember how shocked and confused you were that anyone would want to take away what made you shimmer and shine? You cried and bawled, but to no avail. They wanted your Mojo low and no matter how much you tried to jack it back up they kept draining it.

Sometimes they beat it outa you, claimin' that it hurt their Mojo more than yours. But low Mojo was persistent and demanded high Mojo always do what low Mojo wanted. Soon, low Mojo became the only way to gogo (which ain’t no way at all) and being ALIVE started to get all heavy and oppressive. High Mojo is what you’re “here” for.

But you really can’t blame low Mojo, cause they been taught that Mojo is sometimes “inappropriate;” sometimes “wrong.” They learned that there is “normal” and not “normal” Mojo, good and bad Mojo, when really there is only high and low Mojo. They think that Mojo is a product of what you DO, when really what you DO is a product of Mojo (and how they got that sheit ass backwards is beyond me, but it’s pretty epidemic at this point).

And then they forced you to get an “education.” They dumbed down your Mojo so you could get a low Mojo “job” and idolize low Mojo “money.” Believe it or not, your stress is actually a product of your life-long struggle to keep Mojo low.

Have you ever noticed that whenever you jump into a moment of high Mojo, amazingly, you wind up shutting it down as if Mojo Joy was some kinda disease? This is how you learned to fear your own Mojo and this is why you often hate your life, cause a life without Mojo Joy ain’t really livin.’

Low Mojo taught you how to compete with other low Mojos by sapping their Mojo and takin’ it for yourself. You actually learned that the best way to get high Mojo was to hijack somebody else’s Mojo and give none back. You learned that the best way to get Mojo Risin,’ was to take it from somebody else. Can you believe that sheit??? But it’s true! Just look at all your relationships.

Now you spend your life trying to get back your high Mojo (that low Mojo stifled) by making other Mojos low. We're all nothing but a mob of Mojo Hijackers. And sure, you take their Mojo and ya get what SEEMS like a quick high, but it ain’t real Mojo. It’s an egocentric Mojo mirage, which is just low Mojo in disguise, and that never lasts and only causes real Mojo to evaporate. This is why the ego’s Mojo feels good at first, but eventually it just makes real Mojo dissolve cause it just ain’t real Mojo, it’s pretend Mojo. Pretending to be high Mojo, when you’re really low Mojo, is just low Mojo posing as something it’s NOT.

Making Mojo low ain’t the way to get Mojo Joy. Giving Mojo is the only way to get it up!

The only way to get Mojo Joy is by jackin’ up somebody else’s Mojo, creating a free-flowing Mojo circuit that naturally multiplies and gives back double what you put in. But be careful. Mojo don’t do well with your low Mojo “rules” and once you start tellin’ it when and how to rise, it fades fast, cause Mojo that ain’t natural, is just low Mojo.

Low Mojo gets so used to taking Mojo (they don't know any better!) and having their own Mojo drained, that they completely forgot how to jump-start Mojo circuits (as simple as hooking up two car batteries). Whenever an opportunity comes up, they get all scared and start taking Mojo instead of giving it. They hold back Mojo fearing somebody’s gonna swipe it and it just stagnates, eventually dissolving into a stinky low mojo mess.

That’s called Mojo Rigor Mortis.

But then, low Mojo just wanders around always grittin’ and grindin’ over why their Mojo’s so low, when any damn fool could figger it out if he just looked at what he was doing. If he could only give up the ego’s Mojo for the real thing.

Stop protectin’ your Mojo and give it away now. Don’t pretend high Mojo when you’re low, just hook up with high Mojo and start risin.’

I know this lady who’s a Mojo Queen and her's is so incredibly high that everybody wants it. But instead of giving to get, they keep taking and give nothing back. Why can’t they understand that if they just give Mojo, they’re gonna get it right back at ‘em, times ten thousand? But she’s still really high Mojo cause, once you get filled up to a certain level, nobody can drain ya anymore.

That’s called Cosmic Mojo and it’s pretty rare to find someone at that level, but they’re out there.

Maybe you’re one of ‘em?

Artwork by Yue Minjun - "untitled"

Is Your Mojo Rising (part 1 of infinite)

The Dream of “You”

2011-11-27T17:51:00.001-05:00

Good thing you haven’t been left to your “self” to correct the chaotic bullsheit you make “real.” Now your life is nothing more than constructing ever better fantasies for which to find comfort.

There is really only one way to salvation and that is through the recognition that there is nothing “there.”

Otherwise, “you” will simply repeat the same games over and over again, relying exclusively on the same rules to achieve the same rewards that have never sustained “you.”

But what other choice do you have? The stories and fantasies are always the same (even the story of being a story).

The chief story of egocentricity is "The Fearful Fixation." Look at what you rely on to “save” you, to bring you “happiness.” Nothing lasts and everything fades, but the fear of deprivation quickly grasps for compromise through its pleasurable fixations, which it calls its "saving grace." But a fixation is uncompromising because no matter how many times you fail to succeed, the ego returns once again to repeat the pattern.

Egocentric Enlightenment is composed of nothing more than this: “I would give up everything…except that!”

Thus begins a cascade of fixations all contingent on being “real.” Look deeply into the eyes of every “enlightened master” and discover what they will NEVER sacrifice no matter what. Always a strand, a tiny thread of “reality” holds the ENTIRE edifice firmly in place.

There are parts of your dream you will not surrender, else it will be a “sacrifice” and sacrifice only reinforces the egocentric deprivation that makes up the whole of your dream. Only deprivation dreams of “success” and “failure.” Only deprivation sees a need for “enlightenment.” These are the concepts from which “reality” unfolds before your “eyes."

As you ask, so shall you receive. Time and time again.

Fixation on parts of “reality” reinforce the whole and thus superimpose meaning where none before existed. It MUST be patently meaningless in its entirety, else your meanings will continue to give it life. But why does the meaningless cause you so much fear?

The egocentric self fears the meaningless and cannot exist in a meaningless “world.” Imagine if nothing meant anything. If a “chair” did not conform to what it has always meant for you? If the “person” you know as “Bill” no longer conformed to your concepts? If your “pleasures” could no longer hold out the promise of meaning what you require?

Could you exist in such a wasteland? What would you fixate on as “real”? How would you respond to perception that only reflected an absence of mental constructs or concepts? What would you “love” and what would you “hate”? What would you ever have to fear if “death” had no conceptual basis in your egocentric thought system? Could you “die,” if death had NO meaning? Could you "live" if there were no "death"? Would you be “alive” if there were no concepts in your mind to represent “living”?

The ego-self will never surrender its conceptual anchor points. Primarily because its concepts define IT. Was there a chair before a concept of a chair? Was there a “chair” before there was an “ego” to interpret it as it was meant to be? The ego-self claims, “of course!” Everything must have existed before it could be perceived, because if the concept made it real then the ego has more power than it could ever admit to and egos must be powerless to remain egocentric.

Egocentricity is contingent on complete powerlessness.

Hence, a powerless “world” conforms to what you interpret your “self” to be and not what the world determines you ARE. You interpret the world as oppositional to you when, in fact, you only oppose your “self.” You hate what you are, but seek a way to “love” yourself and this “loving hatred” is reflected back to you. Everywhere you look you perceive a world of other minds hating what the mind seems to show them, but desperately seeking for a way to love what they fear. This is how you conceptually interpret your “self” and, thus, it stands to reason that you would SEE your world this same way.

The dream unfolds as nothing more than an interpretation on "you."

Artwork by 'gnato - "f f"

The Egocentric Observer is Biased

2011-11-06T07:50:00.000-05:00

Why would you think that you can know your ‘self,’ or even parts of the self, simply by self-observation or the use of introspective or meditative techniques?

The observer is biased and will tend to completely miss, or even deny awareness of aspects that cause discomfort.

However, others see what you cannot, because it is through others that you have defined your ‘self.’ We do not define and give meaning to our 'self' alone or in isolation from others, but through engagement with a world of others because 'they' are your world.

In fact, the deeper our engagement with that 'world,' the more 'defined' we become.

The ego-self is entirely other-referencing and is always in the process of defining itself, or 'becoming,' through others and the world. This is particularly true of the relationships that we choose for which to deeply engage with another, because it is through these 'intimate partnerships' that we define our deepest layers of the 'self.' We engage with others to intimately share our 'self' so that the 'self' can evolve.

Yet, why is it that we so frequently fail to create and maintain intimacy in our most significant relationships? Why is it that so many relationships fail to engage the depth between them and either remain hopelessly stuck on the surface or disengage entirely?

Individualized ego goals often impede Deep Spirit intimacy, since they reinforce separation and division resulting in chronic conflict from frequent interpersonal competition. The ego idealizes the love of another, not for how it can reinforce the others self-development, but for what it expects others will do to reinforce its own self-construct (you). The egocentric self-concept is an inner-absorbed belief 'package' whose sole function is self-preservation through pressing itself into and against a world of conflicting opposites. It perceives others as naturally opposing its projects and goals. Nevertheless, the ego believes that completion of its goals and projects will eventually provide fulfillment by firmly asserting it into its experience of a 'world.' Therefore, it picks and chooses significant 'others’ to join with in carrying out its plans of self-actualization. These are the 'loving' relationships or mutual alliances we attribute the most significance and expect will add to our individual self-fulfillment.

Yet, these significant relationships may be stifled and paralyzed by chronic conflict, simply because the embodied egos we choose to join with (in 'love') have self-actualizing goals of their own to give meaning and define their own individual self-defining. They expect you will comply with their plans, while you expect compliance with your own.

Chronic conflict with 'loved ones' is often the most severe, because your ego-self expects to negotiate a world of other egos it has NOT chosen to "love", all perceived as strangers, yet each applying meaning to their lives and often in opposition to you. However, in contrast, you expect that those you have chosen to join with 'in-love' will support your individual egocentric self-actualization and when that is not forthcoming the ego experiences betrayal.

Although the ego expects opposition from the world, it will not easily tolerate opposition from those it chooses to collude with in preserving and actualizing itself. Hence, inherent within all relationships are the conditions of betrayal.

The ego-self wants to experience the fullness of its existence based on what the world teaches it must experience in order to be "happy." Conforming to the world is how the ego-self realizes its existence as significant and not merely a made up fantasy of the mind's imagination. It must build and develop itself for fear of being swallowed up and nullified by the world it experiences as outside and separate from it. Therefore, the ego adopts projects and goals that the world teaches will result in an actualized 'self' and, as the world teaches, an actualized self is a "happy" self.

Intimate relationships are considered important, but subsidiary and subordinate to individual egoic actualization. This makes them reversible with substitutes easily available.

The problem is that most of the projects we engage in to achieve this ever allusive "happiness" are projects that promote egocentric self-absorption and reduce the importance of relationship as primary means to self-actualization. Intimate relationships are downsized and minimized as the means of self-realization and they can easily be discarded and tossed aside and substitute participants elected to ally with.

We can collude with another in achieving ego goals, however, they too seek egoic self-actualization in agreement with the world's definition of a self-actualized 'individual.' These egocentric pursuits, although not detrimental from an individual standpoint, are the antithesis of Deep Spirit intimacy in the creation and discovery of the deeper motives that join individuals. When ego goals of self actualization dominate the mind, relationships must suffer and often may expire simply for lack of attention.

Egocentric self-actualization that supersedes or takes priority over Deep Spirit intimacy, creates tension and conflict between loved ones who feel betrayed by one another. The 'chosen one' was not supposed to become a stranger in opposition but, instead, an ally in the self actualization and egocentric search for "happiness." But the allegiance was lost and now, instead of sharing your 'self' in the desire to self-actualize through union, you withhold your 'self' and gradually begin to hold the other in contempt as they also withhold from you.

Eventually the ego will experience increased anxiety in relation to the chronic stress of this constant withholding, or stifled extension, since our Deep Spirit inclination is to naturally extend to others. This anxiety will only increase, particularly if the ego's demand for control in asserting itself against the other is consistently thwarted by the significant others own self-assertion. No matter how hard you try to control external circumstances, another ego is thwarting your efforts in their attempt at control. These are the daily "control dramas" that are played out in millions of "loving" relationships, so much so, that it is often 'normalized' as typical of all intimate relationships.

When separation-anxiety increases to a boiling point, the ego then avoids conflict altogether by slowly disengaging from the relationship. Now there are only bodies in proximity, providing only surface communication in the performance of routine, superficial menial tasks, while the self is locked away in avoidance of seeking any depth. Adverse alienation sets in and we find we can no longer collaborate on even the smallest things. Eventually, the pattern becomes rigidly predictable, with no 'surprise' in the interactions, as engagement gradually becomes monotonous and mundane.

Yet, we will not disengage from our individual self-actualizing pursuits and in fact, the ego intensifies its efforts in the direction of individualized self-actualization, since the relationship no longer holds out the promise of "happiness."

Eventually, the ego may cut itself off completely from what it sees as the source of its betrayal, resulting in physical separation and eventually the severing of all ties.The ego then seeks out another for which to collude in its individual plans of self-actualization. It has no desire to realize its role in the circular nature of the conflict and denies the fact that it's as guilty as the one it blames. Therefore, it will reconstruct the same patterns of conflict in every relationship it engages with in the future.

Yet, if it can come to realize its role in the pattern of betrayal, it can then gradually begin to alter its perspective enough to engage the other toward resolution. Resolution is always assured through increased understanding, because seeking to deeply understand another is to automatically correspond with Deep Spirit. When you correspond with Deep Spirit, the ego recedes in silence, thereby ending its incessant chatter originating from its need to control reality (others). Now both can listen deeply to one another, easily redirecting patterns to allow an intimate center through which communication can naturally occur.

It only takes one to extend from this Deep Spirit, because such extension has the miraculous tendency to evoke the same extension from others and this is because it is as natural as breathing. Yet, we have lost touch with this deep inner nature, because we have become hypnotized by what society teaches will lead to fulfillment and self-actualization, rather than the intimacy with another we know will energize and bring joy into our lives. Joy is only available when shared.

To extend from Deep Spirit is the path to dissolving alienation. This is because you are no longer strangers to one another and embark in the infinite process of intimate awakening together.

To remain strangers is to give up all hope of understanding and thus, all hope of love. To correspond from Deep Spirit 'within' is to find yourself through engaging to deeply understand another. It is the spiritual ground of all relationships and, although few ever reach that level, the path is available to everyone.

Artwork by Kelly Hutchison - "The Secret Ingredient"

Is Your Mojo Risin’? (part 1 of infinite)

2011-10-20T07:11:00.001-04:00

Describing Mojo is a bit tricky, so you best just experience it for yourself. But if I had to I'd say that it's like the Deep Spirit life force that pervades your deepest core and is progressively absent egocentric bullsheit. Other than that, your guess is as good as mine.

But ya know it when it moves ya…when it touches your core, you can't help but feel it.

But you can’t see Mojo, only it’s effects. It ebbs and flows with emotion fueled by belief. Think of it like electrical current. The circuit can be shut off and even dumbed down or it can be jolted with ever increasing amounts of Mojo. Hence, some beliefs increase Mojo, while others decrease it.

Your world is a product of Mojo.

But Mojo can also be victim to the world. The trick is to keep the Mojo risin’ no matter what’s happenin' outside Mojo. No matter what fool is dumpin' on yo Mojo, you just a keep on a' gogo (old Mojo saying).

Like, I paid $450 for car repairs today. Damn Mojo Dumped on me. But then, I said, “fook it man!” and Mojo risin’ again. Talked to an interesting beauty today…Mojo risin!

And once Mojo rises, you can't fight the urge to share it, which only jacks it up more. In fact, Mojo really rises, only when shared.

Mojo rises real high when circuits couple up, forming completely new and more powerful Mojo. Mojo circuits create the world you experience (and you thought it was God? Ha!).

There is never NO Mojo. There is only high and low Mojo.

Mojo at its highest is completely free of all FEAR. High Mojo plays infinitely in a finite world. High Mojo is virtually unstoppable.

It seems that sometimes low Mojo has to pass through the rings of fire to get to the high Mojo center. This isn’t necessary, but low Mojo just thinks it is. Low Mojo thinks up all kinds of things to make sense of low Mojo, when low Mojo can NEVER make no sense at all. Some live with low Mojo for so long that they know nothin’ but low Mojo.

It’s easy to get Mojo risin.’

There is no good or bad Mojo. Only high and low Mojo. Low Mojo desperately wants to be higher, since it is the nature of Mojo…

…to RISE (as high as Mojo can go)

Is your Mojo…risin’?

The best way to get Mojo risin’ is to find a high Mojo Circuit and join in. However, those who deny their Mojo tend to unconsciously stifle it and that may interfere with your own Mojo (especially if you're already low Mojo).

Yet again, those who have high Mojo tend to fire-up low Mojo and that can be a thrilling experience indeed… when Mojo’s join and magnify each other. I was at a Mojo Gathering once and all these high Mojo's were dancin' around and jetting out Mojo Joy all over the place.

Mojo can be affected by a lot of egocentric bullsheit. Like...on my way to work yesterday I felt my Mojo droppin, but then realized I was dumping on my own Mojo through stoopid beliefs about work. Suddenly, the Mojo started risin’ up again. Sometimes all ya gotta do is think in terms of Mojo, and up it goes naturally. Ha! Go figger...

But as soon as you fixate on dumb sheit, down goes Mojo. Unfortunately, most things that egos fixate on are pretty dumb and result in Mojo dropping and staying low. Like money....real low Mojo in that sheit.

Low Mojo is always wanting to rise, but because of the fear associated with low Mojo, this is hard for some.

Low Mojo is always high FEAR.

Hitler was really low Mojo. Probably the lowest Mojo ever experienced. Mojo can drop to a point where risin’ seems damn near impossible. Mojo that low can be destructive and some say it's “evil.” But there ain’t none such thing as evil, only really low Mojo. But even really low Mojo can rise, if it has a hankerin’ to. But this usually requires alot of high Mojo mixed in. When you get a lot of high Mojo all together in the same place, the desire of low Mojo to connect is irresistible. See if ya don't want to! Ha!

Poor Obama’s Mojo took a nosedive, but he had high Mojo. Whadefook happenin’ to the dudes Mojo??? He was raisin’ everybody’s Mojo. Why’d he go and disconnect from the circuits? Hope he gets it back up there.

High Mojo is always associated with deep peace and wild experiences of Mojo Joy. Mojo Joy is infused with unbelievable high levels of Mojo and is essentially fearless. However, high Mojo don’t run around pontificating on itself and tellin' how high it is.

High Mojo just calmly and peacefully takes over the world.

Some peeps fear their own Mojo and this causes them to get nervous around the high Mojo of others. Or sometimes, when you’re in high Mojo, you find yourself avoiding somebody’s low Mojo. This tends to reduce your high Mojo cause you ain’t merging it with other Mojo circuits. Mojo can't stay up high on its own, because it only rises really high through merging with other circuits. But Mojo should NEVER be contingent on what’s happening in the world. That’s just low Mojo and low Mojo can be contagious. But not as much as high Mojo.

High Mojo is like God.

I like tellin’ folks when they’re raisin’ my Mojo. I say, "Dang, Jojo, you makin' my Mojo a'gogo!" Then again, I don’t mind letting ‘em know when they’re bringin’ my Mojo down. I say “Yo, leggo my Mojo…mofo!” But usually I’m just trying to get up their Mojo, cause these days its hard for anyone or anything to dump on my Mojo, but easy for 'em to bring it up. It’s usually up there and if it dumps, well, I jack it back up right quick, cause who wants to go through a whole day with low Mojo??

The highest level of Mojo is often called "Christ Consciousness" or "Buddha Mind." But then, giving Mojo another name is just low Mojo.

Infinite Mojo is simply the realization that Mojo can keep risin' and there ain’t NO end to how high the Mojo can go.

When you reach that high level of Mojo the world tends to recede or even disappear. It ain’t actually gone, you just ain’t aware of it no more (since who needs a finite world when you’re in Infinite Mojo, yo!). But you do wind up bringing others with ya, cause Mojo can only rise so far on its own. High Mojo always needs more and more Mojo.

Infinite Mojo only wants to show low Mojo how to rise up. It tries to join with low Mojo, but low Mojo keeps on breaking the circuit cause of dumb sheit (like low Mojo "money"). Low Mojo is as addictive as high Mojo. But who wants to be addicted to low Mojo?

Low Mojo’s sometimes winds up worshiping the highest Mojo, failin' to see that it could get that high if it wanted to. Yet, what usually seems to happen is that low Mojo winds up making a religion out of Infinite Mojo and that only keeps Mojo low for a long time.

Centuries even…

Artwork by Yue Minjun - "Between Men and Animal"

Climb Aboard the Dream Weaver Train

2011-10-16T18:23:00.000-04:00

The ego-self, or that abstract package of beliefs you identify with as your “self,'” idolizes its symbolic world as “real,” but fails to recognize that a symbolic “reality” is only conceptual.

You do not see a “world,’ but merely organize concepts (Kantian-like) or weave together a symbolic tapestry as a means of making sense of what, otherwise, would be an amalgamation of complete absurdity.

What you see in your “world” are symbolic representations of reality firmly entrenched in your mind prior to “perception” (concept). But you have little doubt that the symbols in your mind reflect FACTS and this is how you organize the symbols into a “reality.”

Unfortunately, you’re not so sure your mind is a FACT, but you do accept that it symbolizes “you.” Nevertheless, you do experience concepts and many arguments have been made that the mind is all you experience, but only through symbolic concepts.

An ego-self does not really see a tree, but only a symbolic conceptualization of a “tree” and, in that concept, the “tree” is only what the concept requires and NOT what it is in truth. “You” (concept) could never know what it means in TRUTH, because all egocentricity ever “knows” are its own concepts and concepts can only symbolize what is TRUE. They can never actually be TRUE simply because they are symbolic facsimiles of what you believe MUST be “true” and what you wish to be “true” today is always contingent on what WAS true yesterday.

A facsimile may look and feel like the original, but you know it’s only a copy and, if you look close, you’ll see all the tiny imperfections that demonstrate its inauthenticity.

An egocentric self-concept does NOT see a world, but sees its symbolic representations of a “world,” or a facsimile of a “world",” in the form of conceptual constructs within its own inner-experience of an individual MIND. “You” do not live in a realistic world, but in a world of concepts which serve to symbolize a ‘reality’ that you believe is FACTUAL.

Egocentricity demands Facticity in order to actualize an existence as “real.” Facticity is the superimposing of specific separate parameters to enhance belief.

Yet, concepts are bland beliefs without emotion. But “emotion” is also a concept, since it too is experienced in the mind and an egocentric mind only experiences concepts. Nevertheless, your concept of a “tree” may do little to stimulate any further conceptual dream weaving. While the concept of “money” may stimulate ever increasing conceptual configurations that egocentricity considers “real.”

The non-dualist idea that there is “nothing there” merely emphasizes the fact that concepts are only symbolic. If they are only symbolic then how can they affect you? But this is completely opposite what you experience. You experience a “world” for which you have NO doubt of its reality and are victimized by that “reality” on a daily basis.

Hence, the only difference between real and facsimile is your own victimization, because no one would fall victim to a facsimile in knowing it is not authentic or genuine.

However, if an ego-self is nothing more than a package of beliefs and those beliefs are conceptual symbols representing reality, then the ‘self’ you idolize as real is nothing but a well packaged aggregate of symbolic representations. Hence, there is nothing REAL about “you” and what is NOT real can only make lame attempts at representing the REAL.

Is the body “real”? Certainly, as you conceptualize it, it does seem authentic. But the self-concept of “you” cannot know the body free and clear of concepts and, therefore, what you experience as “body” is inauthentic and disingenuous.

Is there a difference between the image of a blue sky and thinking the thought “the sky is blue”? Is the thinking that is composed of words different from the thoughts composed of images? Could they be made of the same stuff and, if so, who made them? Even though both thoughts and images are experienced in your mind, you believe the thoughts are yours, while the images belong to the world. Hence, your thoughts are minimized as less important and even false, in comparison to the images, having little to no power to alter your experience because you have determined that your concept of a “body” is the only concept that can provide accurate representations of your world. Clearly, the concept of a “self” is minimized next to the concept of body. Hence, the ‘self’ can be full of doubts, but never regarding your concept of “body.”

But are they not both experienced in the mind? Do you experience a blue sky outside your mind? How could you, when ALL experience is IN and OF the mind? Could it be that the blue sky is nothing more than a symbolic representation of what may not be “there” after all?

Ah, but your egocentricity assures you that it MUST be there, because if it’s NOT really there at all, what does this say about “you.” If it’s NOT “there,” then “where” are you?

Everything an egocentric self-concept experiences MUST be experienced to insure the reality of that ego-self.

Clearly, you live your entire “life” (concept) counting on the images (concepts) to give you truth, but doubt your own thoughts. Your mind is inconsequential to the grand order that you have strung together with concepts. Your conceptual weaving of a “reality” is the only thing occurs from moment to moment and never to you question whether or not the concepts accurately represent reality. You just weave your concepts together because they must fit together adequately. If even one concept is determined to be illusional, then the whole foundation must crash of its own fraudulence.

Is it any wonder you’re so damned exhausted all the time?

Yet, be prepared for the day when you finally come to doubt even the images you have always experienced as “real,” because…

as the world fades away…

…so must “you.”

But fear not!

“You” were never really “there” in the first place.

I've just closed my eyes again
Climbed aboard the dream weaver train
Driver take away my worries of today
And leave tomorrow behind

Ooh dream weaver
I believe you can get me through the night
Ooh dream weaver
I believe we can reach the morning light
Fly me high through the starry skies
Maybe to an astral plane
Cross the highways of fantasy
Help me to forget today's pain

Though the dawn may be coming soon
There still may be some time
Fly me away to the bright side of the moon
And meet me on the other side

Artwork by Mark Ryden - "Girl Eaten by Tree"