Peach The Destroyer

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 052

2012-04-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

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Good morning, Destroyer fans!

I hope everyone had a good break...even if Peach didn’t, judging by today’s comic. You’ll also note the new art style, which is still a little rough around the edges, but I like the general idea. It still needs to evolve a bit. Don’t worry, you’ll start seeing things like mouths next week.
In case you’re wondering why we’re starting off with a slow comic like this after that crazy cliffhanger...well, I like to think this might be someone’s first time on the site, so I thought it would help these hypothetical new readers to start off slow.

Justice League #8

So...yeah. I’ve been looking forward to this issue for, like, months. I’ve made my love of Green Arrow well-known...well, basically everywhere, so even with lame fill-in artists, this issue has to REALLY screw up to disappoint me.
And right away we start off awesome, with Steve Trevor talking to government bigwigs about adding a sort of “plant” onto the Justice League. Cut to Green Arrow asking the same question I’m sure a ton of nerds are asking: “What the hell am I doing here?”
Aquaman flat-out calls it like it is: “Go away, Arrow.” I guess since we can’t have
This issue quickly devolves into a hilarious montage of Green Arrow showing up at Justice League missions, trying to prove his worth as a potential team member. He fails spectacularly and the issue ends with the STUNNING reveal as to why the League tries to resist new members (seriously...that 2-page spread blew my friggin’ mind).

The Shadow #1

Okay, a warning: I basically know jack about The Shadow, other than the fact that Jack Donaghy played him in a movie that I still haven’t seen. So I have exactly zero expectations.
What I came away with was...interesting, but I’m not sure if I’ll stick around for future issues. Since The Shadow has such a long history, I kind of assumed he was cut from the same cloth as Green Hornet (another property with a Dynamite-label comic that I haven’t read [and friggin’ Phil Hester writes that one!]). Turns out...not so much. He can see glimpses of the future and apparently talk to the dead...it’s an interesting bag of tricks for a guy in a coat with twin pistols.
Overall, I’d say this was a good glimpse into the world of The Shadow and I’m glad I gave it a look, but I’m just not sure if I’m the target for this particular book.

Supergirl #8

Going from a hero I knew nothing about to a villain I knew nothing about, this month we get a glimpse of the DCnU’s Silver Banshee! Things start off well enough with Kara meeting Siobhan, a recent immigrant from Ireland who can pick up on an entire language just by hearing a few words (this basically gives Kara someone to talk to, since she still doesn’t know English and we puny Earthlings don’t know Kryptonian [I’d complain about asking how these linguistic powers are possible, but some punches you just have to roll with]).
Siobhan invites Kara to stay at her place (I’m REALLY hoping Siobhan becomes a more central version of Alysia Yeoh, Barbara Gordon’s roommate over in Batgirl) and go see her perform at a coffeehouse. Seeing Kara out on the streets of New York getting sensory overload just makes you feel sorry and you just want to give her a hug.
And then, during her performance, Siobhan’s dead father possesses the crowd and appears as the Black Banshee, crowing about how she needs to embrace her destiny (and that phrase alone is bringing up memories of Smallville). In our big cliffhanger, Siobhan turns into the Silver Banshee!
Maybe it’s just because I liked Siobhan, but I kinda want the Silver Banshee curse to either somehow be lifted from her or have her pull a Ghost Rider and use this curse to do good or something. I dunno. We’ll see.

Wonder Woman #8

Umm...Wonder Woman goes to Hell. As always, it’s REALLY interesting to see what any creative team comes up with for Hell. Here, the dead are used to fashion the environment (so if, say, Hell looks like an abandoned London, then the dead make up everything from the buildings to the cobblestone roads). Yeah, it’s a new concept for me.
Wonder Woman took her pick of weapons from Hephaestus’s armory, and even got to borrow Eros’ love pistols. This...comes back to bite her in the end when Hades barters away the love gun, only to turn around and shoot Wonder Woman in the heart.

Birds of Prey #8

The team spends the entire issue fighting government goons that seem to have been purposefully selected to hone in on a particular team member’s weakness (i.e. Katana fights a guy with unbreakable skin, a guy with flamethrowers spends the whole issue complaining about how he’s supposed to take down Poison Ivy, etc.)
This FINALLY builds to the moment that it feels like this book has been waiting for for eight issues now...Black Canary’s admission that she murdered her husband (and probably not the one I’m familiar with...)
My only problem with this revelation is it happens on the same panel that the tease for next month’s issue is, which is a tie-in with Batman’s Night of the Owl. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard downright AWESOME things about Scott Snyder’s run on Batman and the whole Court of Owls, but...either Canary’s husband better be tied in with all this Owl business or maybe this plot line should have been reshuffled. Just sayin’

Batman Beyond Unlimited #3

This was...kind of a melancholy issue broken up into three stories.
We began with a Superman Beyond story (without any sort of titlecard...though Superman does dominate the cover this month [for the record...on the actual cover, they did at least tuck Batman into the corner to remind you what book you’re reading]). This story was...frankly, kinda depressing. The Fortress of Solitude is basically a museum (complete with old copies of the Daily Planet with the most annoyingly visible gibberish filler text I’ve ever seen), Metropolis police have these Lex Luthor super-suit lookin’ things that basically make them Superman, and oh yeah, THE PEOPLE OF METROPOLIS DON’T RECOGNIZE SUPERMAN! That is just sick and wrong! Oh, and some girl finds out she’s Lex Luthor’s daughter. Yeah, that’s gonna be the plot next month, a whole lot this month was just world-building. Lemme just say it one more time: Metropolis doesn’t recognize Superman. Sick. And. Wrong.
On the Batman side of things, Batman has to stop Mad Stan from bombing the city because Russians stole his dog. And his kind-of-ex-girlfriend Dana wants him to help find her crazy Joker brother. Yeah...next month should be ALL kinds of crazy.
And on Justice League Beyond...look, I really hated the whole Kobra cult thing when they did it on the show. At first, they were used for one 2-parter that was interesting, but then these guys kept coming back. And coming back. Ugh. So, anyway, Old Woman Waller explains about how they stole a magic book that’s going to help them find this worldkiller of a beast. Oh, and she namedrops something called “The Genesis War,” which I guess is supposed to be the new “Near-Apocalypse of '09.” We also get token cameos of a TON of Kirby characters, including Kamandi, OMAC, and The Forever People. Oh, and...um...this worldkiller beast apparently kills Aquaman. Yeah.

Well, that wraps things up this week. Make sure you're back here next MONDAY (remember that, kids) for more brand-new Peach the Destroyer adventures!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 051

2012-03-29T00:00:00.028-04:00

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Good morning, Destroyer fans!

So with this comic, Peach the Destroyer is a whole year old (if you’re wondering why this happened on comic #51 and not comic #52, it’s because I skipped the numbering on the Thanksgiving comic). Because of this momentous occasion, I think two things are in order:

We need to cue up some victory music (apologies to Linkara, I’m stealing this bit from him...it’s okay, though. My wife’s convinced he and I are the same person).
I’d like to take a look back on the year that was and discuss what worked, what didn’t work, and what the future holds for Peach the Destroyer.

One of the biggest mistakes I think I made with this comic was the rotating art style idea. Basically what this turned into was everyone looking kinda wonky for a few comics while I adjusted to the re-design. There will be another re-design when the comic comes back, but that should do it for a nice, long while.

Another shortcoming this comic has had basically amounts to laziness on my part. When I started the comic, I think I had the first two week’s comics drawn and, going from week-to-week I don’t think I was ever more than one week ahead. This evolved into a weird experiment of spontaneous storytelling on my part. Basically stories would start with one comic and I didn’t know where I was going with it until I started working on next week’s comic. I think I got better at this as the year went on, but clearly I need more structure and planning moving forward.

Fun fact: this was not the one-year anniversary story arc I had initially planned almost a year ago. The original plan was that Peach would get captured and, in a fit of desperation, Dr. Felis recruits my wife and I to rescue her (I didn’t get too far beyond that in planning, but I do know that this moment was going to be used somehow). Sounds like a cool enough idea, right? The problem is...frankly, the anniversary started to sneak up on me. I also had the Year Two storyline roughly sketched out in my head (more on that in a bit), but knew it had been a while since anyone had actually seen the mysterious archer cat, who was a key figure in the Year Two plan. Having him show up as a Cattus ex Machina (oh yes, Latin humor...I went there) felt more natural and he helped inform where we’re headed with the new arc.

Hey, know who totally wasn’t a part of the Year Two plan? Dark Peach. When I was writing the script, I had the alarms go off in C.A.T.FORCE and I basically got to learn what was going on as the characters did. As soon as I wrote the words “DARK PEACH,” I realized this was actually better than the original plan (fair warning: the original plan for Year Two involved threatening my mom to explain string theory to me. I think we all dodged a bullet on that one).

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled on (and on) enough. It’s time for my weekly comic reviews! Standard warning applies, spoilers ahead.

Flash Gordon: Zeitgeist #4

All right, so we start the issue off with some rebels aiming to assassinate Klyltus (Ming’s right-hand man, who’s getting all buddy-buddy with Hitler) and Flash (AA-AAH! [sorry]) fighting a huge dragon thing with a catman. SERIOUSLY, THIS BOOK COULDN’T BE MORE AWESOME IF IT TRIED!
As Klytus outlines the global assault Hitler’s army is enacting, we cut to Africa where there’s a SURPRISE CAMEO by The Phantom! Dude, comics are awesome! Although I do have to question the apparent retconning of Hitler as a sympathetic pawn in Ming’s machine. I’m sorry, I like my Hitlers as the equivalency of a Saturday morning cartoon villain, thank you.
Aargh...right when Flash was gonna do something really cool and unite a prison ship into an army...Dynamite had to go and screw up the lettering by recycling the entire page’s dialogue onto another page. Really distracting.
So...I guess Flash got his army together. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the rebels seem to have caused a huge explosion. Fun.

Snarked! #6

Things start off at “crazy” with The Gryphon meeting up with his own version of Q, Professor Cube, who outfits him with a flying machine called the Twinkleba--err, Gryph-O-Plane.
Team Snarked! (as I’m now officially calling Queen Scarlett, her brother, Wilburforce J. Walrus, etc...plus all them crazy folk on the ship) get attacked by another pirate ship helmed by the Mad Hatter (the Mad Hatter’s entire crew is a hoot, by the way, with dialogue like “don’t tell me about the Snark Wars, man. You weren’t there, man. You weren’t there!”).
In the midst of the battle, Scarlett and the carpenter get caught. Walrus thinks fast and manages a rescue, but Team Snarked! wind up booted off the ship and reduced to a lifeboat for their troubles. All in all, an excellent issue.

Aquaman #7

This issue kicks off with the reveal of NEW 52 BLACK MANTA! He looks...y’know what? He looks like Black Manta. That’s really not a costume you can mess up. Anyway, he kills a lady in the jungle. This will be important.
Aquaman and Mera (or, as the press is quick to name her, Aquawoman) take an Atlantian artifact to Dr. Shin for answers on who/what sunk Atlantis, but they’re interrupted by a jungle lady (Ya’Wara) with her pet cat, who tells Aquaman that “the Seer is dead.” She also wants to kill Dr. Shin because she thinks he was involved somehow.
The issue ends with a cracked photo of what looks like a teenaged Aquaman with younger versions of the Seer and Ya’Wara, along with a bunch of other folks we haven’t seen yet.

The Savage Hawkman #7

Oh, soak this in, everyone...Rob Liefeld joins the creative team next month.
Freaking Static shows up in this issue! It’s a weird team-up, but it works. Especially when Static’s able to disrupt the electronic impulses in the bodies of the zombie hordes looking to engulf New York thanks to Gentleman Ghost’s ritual with the Mortis Orb (by the way, I love that sentence).
Gentleman Ghost gets defeated/dragged back to Hell by...the friggin’ warlock who the Mortis Orb was buried with. I’ll be honest, I did not see that one coming.
Hawkman drops the Orb in a crevice in Antarctica, where I’m sure we’ll never hear from it again (alternatively, this may all be one elaborate prequel to The Thing).

Justice League Dark #7

Okay, first off, this is a crossover with I, Vampire, which I don’t read (go ahead, double-check the archives. I get more pageviews that way). I’d take issue with it, but vampires seem to make John Constantine cranky (what doesn’t?), and a cranky John Constantine is a funny John Constantine, so I’m going to allow it.
Shade the Changing Man loses a few points in my book for reacting to vampires thusly: “...I mean, I kn-knew [vampires] existed as a cultural phenomenon on Earth. Bram Stoker. Twilight. But--”
Seriously?! Batgirl shows up?! Okay, it makes sense since Vampire Armageddon is going down in Gotham (what doesn’t these days?), but it still feels...I don’t know. Forced? Random? Somewhere along those lines.
Constantine and Deadman head into a gateway to the afterlife...I smell sitcom pilot!

Teen Titans #7

Hey, so...Danny the Street is part of the DCnU!
The Titans break into N.O.W.H.E.R.E. to free Superboy and...yeah, things basically go from bad to worse for them as they battle through the nightmarish hordes of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. culminating in getting captured by some creepy creepy person in a cloak who claims to be the creator of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. and calls him(?)self Harvest.

Superman #7

Superman kicks off the issue fighting some...mech...thing? You can tell this is a seasoned, older Superman because his inner monologue mentions that this “stinks of a ‘call out.’ Kick up enough ruckus and see if Superman shows up.” Later he mentions that he should set up a web page so would-be villains could set up a fight in private. Gotta say, I can’t fault him for that kind of logic.
We get to see S.T.A.R. Labs’ superhero clean-up crew, who take the mech thing in for study. I love these guys and would really like to see an issue from their perspective, because they lend a great “blue collar” sensibility to help ground a fantastic world with stuff like having one of them staring at a tablet and muttering “aww, fer th’ luvva...how’m I supposed to describe this thing in ten words or less?”
We meet our new villain, Helspont, in his Himalayan hideaway as he monologues to absolutely nobody that he “[dispatches] a seeker to evaluate thralls [he] can cull from this world’s metahuman population.” This is a really specific monologue you’re giving to an audience of none, dude.
Helspont (I’m going to have a really hard time taking that name seriously) has his mech thing attack Superman again and teleports Superman to him. He prattles on about how awesome he and his flaming-skull-for-a-head are before saying Superman should totally become his new intern to conquer the Earth, etc. Y’know, standard-issue supervillain stuff.

Avenging Spider-Man #5

We start in Avengers Mansion, where a bunch of the Avengers are reading one of Captain America’s old comics he drew during his scrawny Steve Rogers days in art school. To say it wasn’t his calling is...a bit of an understatement.
I like Spider-Man’s take on the whole thing: “Do you know what this means? Cap’s a nerd” and “This is huge. I’ve got something in common with Captain America.” Totally the right way to handle this.
Spider-Man turns an important Avengers mission into a misguided attempt to bond with Captain America’s inner geek. This results in Captain America...kinda-sorta blowing up at him, claiming he was saved from a life of being someone who could only draw adventures by being a soldier and having them instead.
I really loved the ending, which had Steve and Peter mending fences, sitting in the...I guess Avengers rec room(?) and trying to develop a new comic book character. It’s a cute, soft character-driven ending that I really love this book for.

The New Deadwardians #1 (of 8) - Suggested for Mature Readers

This book takes place in an alternate-universe 2010 London where the population consists of vampires (the upper class) and zombies (the lower class). Our comic begins in the home of Mr. George Suttle, a vampire who hates the night because he keeps expecting sleep to come. A ruckus jostles him from his...lack of sleep and OH NOES! Zombies are...eating the maid. Yeah, this book earns its “mature” label pretty fast.
The book ends on a crazy cliffhanger with the first murder in quite some time hitting the city. Mr. Suttle, the only homicide detective left, is at the scene and discovers that, not only is this a murder, it’s a murder of a vampire with “none of the three causes present: impalement of the heart, decapitation, [or] incineration.”

Well, that’s all for this week, kids. Thank you for sticking with me for a whole year of adventures. I’ll see you in a few weeks with the all-new Peach the Destroyer: Year Two!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 050

2012-03-22T00:00:00.003-04:00

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Hey, guys! So…yeah. 50 comics. Crazy, right?! Anyway, this is hands down my favorite comic that I've done so far. I really think everything from our unnamed archer...arching his eyebrow to the almost Doctor-like sensibility of him calling out our bad guy and standing as "this world's Champion" is guiding this comic squarely to what it was always supposed to be about. I also like that for once, the cliffhanger actually leaves you in a place where you can't wait to see what happens next (at least that's how I feel about it…hopefully it's not just me).

Anyway, I'll have plenty of time to talk next week. For now, onward to comic book reviews! I'm going to try things without the solicits this week because I don't think they really add anything to my reviews. Who knows, I might go back to them next week.

Justice League #7

Okay, two pages into this chapter, "The Villain's Journey: Prologue," we get to the present day and meet DC Comics' answer to Marvel's top-tier superhero military force SHIELD in the slightly-less-elegantly-named A.R.G.U.S. (Advanced Research Group Uniting Superhumans). They're the guys with guns who basically hold off the bad guys until the League shows up.
We learn our bad guys consist of a scientist who was exposed to some stuff and now he can create these…little gooey, bitey masses of teeth and claws. Maybe not the most inspired design, but they still look like something you won't feel bad about seeing them get punched. Oh, he also has super strength.
Batman tries to…y'know, be Batman and divide the team up in a complex Bat-strategy and Green Lantern literally tells him "We're the Justice League. We got this." And then Batman makes the funniest gritted-teeth angry face I think I've ever seen in comics. It's beautiful.
Steve Trevor, Agent of A.R.G.U.S. (you watch, I smell spin-off comic) holds a press conference that turns into a bunch of paid journalists yelling "we totally want superheroes to run the government!"
Steve also gets to Skype with the Justice League, which is a scene chock full of those bits of banter I love (my personal favorite is Batman telling Steve to "tell the U.N. to shut down that joke calling itself the Justice League International." It makes no sense in the context of Justice League International, but grumpy Batman always reminds me of this, so I give it a free pass).
Our narrator (revealed to be the guy who wrote the in-universe Justice League book from the end of issue #6) tells us at the end of the issue that Steve Trevor is the key to destroying the League.
Also: next issue: Green Arrow vs. Justice League. YAY!
Oh, but we're not done yet! Starting in this issue, we begin the backup comic THE CURSE OF SHAZAM! Now, I was one of the many nerds who complained about Captain Marv--err, Shazam's New 52 makeover. That being said, a lot of my rage had gotten out of my system long before this issue went to print.
This first story serves as a "teaser" for the story. Sure, we meet Billy Batson, and we even get to see more of Shazam's arch nemesis Dr. Sivana than we do Shazam (who shows up on the final page). I'm probably going to need at least another issue to see how Shazam holds up as a character, but…I think this is going to work. I actually have a good feeling about it.

Birds of Prey #7

This was a good book that made you think it was ending one plot and starting another when ZOMGSUDDENTWIST!!!
The team THINKS they have the mastermind behind the mindwarp attacks (and he goes by the name of "Choke"). He barks out some orders and team members learn the hard way that they all have planted suggestions in them.
Then, when the Birds assemble to properly interrogate Choke, he starts getting trippy like fatally disabling Poison Ivy's powers or telling Starling to start shooting up her teammates. Katana cuts his head off, saying the spirit of her dead husband that lives in her sword will carry on the interrogation (comics!). This makes you think the book's going to do a "what kind of team are we?" arc that threatens to tear the group apart.
Finally, Black Canary and Batgirl are doing some investigating at Choke's apartment…when Canary gets a phone call from Katana. The man they killed? Wasn't Choke! Maybe that was an obvious twist, but that had me floored!

Kirby: Genesis! Silver Star #4 (hey, look. I finally looked at the cover long enough to realize there's a correct way to type that out)

Okay, so previously in Silver Star, he got blown up out of existence by a folded-entropy bomb (which, by the way, is my new favorite sci-fi term), but it seems something went wrong. Silver Star's alter ego, Morgan, still exists in the world his lady love Tracy returns to.
It seems the world's gone crazy for superpowers; in this Bizarro world, Morgan describes it as "here, it seems like I'm the only person without superpowers, and there I'm the only one with them. Crazy."
I'm going to level with you…I'm not 100% sure how this one ended. It looked like the reality Tracy left to was a figment of Silver Star's imagination? Or it unraveled and cancelled out the effects of the folded-entropy bomb? I'm sorry, I'm just not too sure…

Wonder Woman #7

Wonder Woman and friends seek out some help to get Zeus' latest babymamma out of the clutches of Hell. Who do they enlist? Eros (Greek mythology's answer to Cupid, who's packing two…let's just call them love guns) and Hephaestus, blacksmith of the Gods (who works in the back room of a jewelry store [well, actually the back room opens up to Mt. Etna, but the first way sounds funnier]).
Hephaestus arms Wonder Woman with a crazy-lethal whip and Hell fires back by sending what looks like a giant Kimodo dragon made out of molten metal. Hephaestus tries to fight it…and fails.
In the aftermath, we learn that Hephaestus employs the male offspring of Amazons. Wonder Woman, under the impression that they're slaves, tries to bully Hephaestus into releasing them. Yeah, it doesn't go over so well as the…Manazons (I'm sorry…look, if it's any comfort, they're never called that in the issue. I swear) view Hephaestus as their leader, who cares for them and lets them live their lives making art instead of the swift death the Amazons would have inflicted upon them.
Also, a VERY warm welcome back to artist Cliff Chiang, whose work is especially well-suited for Wonder Woman. Cliff's skill makes her look like a warrior, the way she should be.

Hoax Hunters #0

Hoax Hunters has a really interesting premise: basically, what if there were a reality TV show that claimed it was hunting down monsters, but it was really disinformation? It's certainly a good explanation for how Ghost Hunters has been on the air for so long without actually…y'know, finding anything.
They go to Russia to investigate some crazy 1960s spacesuit powered by crows. This one guy, who claims to be a "personal friend and assistant to the president" describes the Hoax Hunters as being "from silly American television program, chasing wolfman and UFOs." I love this book already.
Need a plot recap? Here: "Let's tie these two up, then we can stop an immortal Russian from taking over the world." In case you're wondering, yes, Nazis are involved and no, it's not as much like the first Hellboy movie as you might be thinking (note: absolutely no one is thinking that).
The book wraps up with the televised ending of Hoax Hunters, where they basically give a Scooby Doo explanation for the events in the comic and conclude the hoax as hunted. They then go to bury the spacesuit…but his spirit/murder of crows want to join the team! Wacky!
This book was awesome. I say indie book of the week. If you're looking for something different than the typical offerings of DC and Marvel, this is the book for you.

Supergirl #7

This is Supergirl's "trial by fire" issue as she fights the Kryptonian Worldkillers and…yeah, I gotta say, this was pretty darn great. And the big plus for me was the fact that the Worldkillers WEREN'T 100% DEFEATED! Heck, Reign practically promises a rematch! You have no idea how happy that makes me, since the majority of the New 52 villains I've seen have been wrapped up in one arc with no hint that we'll ever see them again.

Batman Beyond Unlimited #2

This was still a good book…I'm still having occasional hiccups in placing it between the DCnU and the animated DC Universe I grew up with. I know this book exists in a gray in-between, but…I don't know, it's my own problem, I guess. But good book. Heck, in the Justice League story, they visit Dinosaur Island. DINOSAUR ISLAND! I have a hard enough time thinking about stories taking place in 2012 take place on Dinosaur Island, but the future, too? That's just crazy talk.

Galaxy Man #4

We're finishing this week with my local comic book shop's in-house book.
Things start off crazy as friggin' space pirates try to hijack a shuttle launch. Yes. Read that sentence again because it is awesome.
Cosmic Girl to token teenaged astronaut: "Aren't you a little short for an astronaut?" Oh, Galaxy Man. I do so love your referential humor.
The book has some well-played dueling narration from Diago Dogstar, captain space pirate and Cosmic Girl. It creates some really cute parallels in the story.
This is another stellar (no pun intended) issue that feels like a great all-ages book. You can feel the love of comics in every page of this thing.

Well, that about wraps things up for us this week. I'll see you next week for our epic ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY CLIMAX!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 049

2012-03-15T00:00:00.002-04:00

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You didn't think we were gonna make it to the one-year anniversary without seeing my favorite character, did you? Heck, the only thing he's missing is humming his own theme music. I'll talk more about his return later. For now, hopefully your reaction is similar to Peach's now that the cavalry's shown up. Anyway, not much for me to say this week (I'm just happy this comic wasn't crazy depressing like last week's…ugh), so let's move right on to comic book reviews…

Batgirl #7

The Solicit: One dark, tragic night, The Joker shattered the life of Barbara Gordon in the landmark story BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE. In this issue, see a side of that story that has never before been told, as Batgirl faces the demons of her past!
Okay, I don't mean to speak ill of Alan Moore (far be it from me to disrespect a self-proclaimed warlock), but I was never all that crazy about The Killing Joke. Maybe it's because I finally read it after years of internet hype, but what I found was…kind of an anemic story. It was a good story, but it felt like there wasn't a whole lot of meat on its bones. So let's just say I was coming into this issue with an open mind.
The issue starts with Batgirl getting drowned in the sewer by…some metahuman punk in what looks like a tuxedo and devil mask. By the way, the graffiti in this scene reads "CATWOMAN LOVES ME" and "DARK VENGEANCE." Seriously, does Batman vent his steam by tagging up the sewers in his spare time?
I'm a big fan of Barbara's self-deprecating inner monologues in this book, but I think Gail Simone's struck gold with "dear diary in my head…tonight didn't go as I had hoped at all" after Tuxedo McDevil pulls the Batman disappearing act on her.
In a flashback to earlier in the night, Batgirl calls on Black Canary for a sparring session and, with one page, I don't care about The Killing Joke, I would gladly read a whole issue of Black Canary saying stuff like "Are you Batgirl? Did some cheerleader steal her costume?"
Black Canary gives Barbara some tough love and helps her come to her senses before sending Batgirl off on the mission we started the issue with.
Batgirl unmasks the thugs she'd knocked out and…one of them was one of the Joker's thugs the night he shot her!

Superboy #7

The Solicit: Superboy's come back to N.O.W.H.E.R.E. with vengeance on his mind, but Rose Wilson is waiting for him. Right from the start, she was the one meant to bring him down when he went out of control--and this fight is going to be out of control!
I know this issue's supposedly built around Superboy fighting Rose Wilson (the issue's titled "Untamed Rose," after all), but his assault on the rest of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. is downright hilarious, with dialogue like "I'm a little fuzzy on the concept of mercy. You must have forgotten to teach me about it" as he kicks a guy almost out of the frame.
Superboy gets dosed by synthetic Kryptonite and straight-up run through with a sword.
Oh, and the book teases a Rose Wilson/Wonder Girl brawl in two weeks in Teen Titans.

The Ray #4 (of 4)

The Solicit: The final conflict between The Ray and the evil maestro who has been behind all his woes comes to a conclusion. Lucien will need to take his powers to an all-new level to defeat the evil Director and his reality warping abilities.
This was a very satisfying comic; it really delivered on every conceivable level and I really hope this isn't the last we see of The Ray (a…dude at the end seems to imply he might show up in Suicide Squad, but that book's outside my wheelhouse, so I'll just keep hoping he gets his own ongoing).

Thief of Thieves #2

The Solicit: Conrad Paulson has turned his back [on] his life as Redmond, international master criminal, in order to regain some semblance of the life he left behind. Will it be enough to reconcile with his wife? Save his son from the life? Or will it end up getting them all killed?
Somehow, I managed to resist this last month, but now I can't stop reading this book using the cast of Leverage…someone please tell me I'm not the only one.
This issue gives us copious backstory on Conrad's reasons for quitting…and reasons why "the life he left behind" will probably stay in his rear-view mirror. This book is honestly one of the best movies you're not reading right now. I'm calling it now: I'm expecting someone to swoop in and pick up the Thief of Thieves movie rights fast and hard.

Frankenstein, Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #7

The Solicit: The siege on S.H.A.D.E. City comes to a bloody conclusion, and it may mean the end of the Creature Commandos! With the Hub under Humanid control and Nina's evil monsters staging a coup, S.H.A.D.E. headquarters is in total disarray.
This issue started off on a rough note for me because after an entire issue of the Humanids taking systematic control of S.H.A.D.E., Ray Palmer just now got around to having the revelation "has anyone else noticed there aren't any Humanids around?"
I love that, when Frankenstein comes home to S.H.A.D.E. after a long day of monster huntin' to find his voice commands are being overridden, he just flat-out kicks the door down and mutters "I hate technology." This is why I'm 100% behind Frankenstein as a protagonist. He gets stuff done.
Oh, and Brother Eye's behind the Humanid…virus or whatever. So I can blame this entire plot on the OMAC crossover. Thanks.
When two of our Creature Commandos bust into the top-secret armory, I was kinda hoping for some Easter Eggs in the collection of "insane weaponry that defy logic," but alas, near as I can tell there aren't any
I'm not positive, but I think Father Time gets the award for Best Line of the Night: "Ray Palmer's a badass and The Hub is secure. What's your status?"
Ooh, and Frankenstein's son is unleashed upon the world…dude, next month sounds awesome already!

The last two comics this week are rated M for Mature. I mention this because I like to view Peach the Destroyer as an all-ages community, so I just want to make sure everyone's aware of that fact before we proceed.

Saucer Country

The Solicit: Set in the hauntingly beautiful Southwest, SAUCER COUNTRY is a dark thriller that blends UFO lore and alien abduction with political intrigue. With the help of her quirky staff, Presidential hopeful Arcadia Alvarado must pursue the truth of her alleged alien abduction into danger, mystery and awe.
So, seriously, politics and religion are two things you can always use to scare me off a conversation. However, throw in a dollop of UFO mythology in the middle of a run at the presidency and all of a sudden I'm interested.
Okay, this book actually has a character say "the party of which I am a member?" In what editor's head do those words sound natural?! What's really annoying is, right after that awkward mouthful, the same character flat-out says "Republican." So why didn't you say that in the first place?!
Arcadia has a lot of…let's say "buildup" to…y'know, the whole "alien" thing. In one scene, she has a dream that seems to have been brought on by watching too much Doctor Who, she's in a…let's call it weird museum where she's shown "space and time, seen from outside."
After the nightmare, Arcadia's convinced herself that her ex-husband had abused her. She's about to let her inner circle in on it when, during her speech announcing she's running for president, it all clicks and she realizes it wasn't abuse, she was flat-out abducted by aliens and there's an invasion coming.
This book was awesome! That is all.

Saga #1

The Solicit: Y: THE LAST MAN writer BRIAN K. VAUGHAN returns to comics with red-hot artist FIONA STAPLES for an all-new ONGOING SERIES! Star Wars-style action collides with Game of Thrones-esque drama in this original sci-fi/fantasy epic for mature readers, as new parents Marko and Alana risk everything to raise their child amidst a never-ending galactic war. The adventure begins in a spectacular DOUBLE-SIZED FIRST ISSUE!
I liked this book (though, again, rating warning). It's a simple story in a complicated universe and…it kind of feels like Star Wars by way of Greek mythology, in a weird way. This was a good book, plus it's a double-sized first issue for $2.99! With no ads! Seriously, even if you don't like the book much, that's a heckuva value.

Well, that wraps things up for this week, everyone. I'll see you next week; same Peach time, same Peach channel!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 048

2012-03-08T00:00:00.001-05:00

Click for full size

Umm…so yeah. I'm gonna say this: this arc is getting really dark for me. When I finish writing just about any of Claudius' dialogue, I take a step back, re-read it and think to myself "wow. What twisted little corner of my brain did this all flow out of?"

Hey, the other big deal with this comic is that this is the first time I managed to get the color to work! This entire arc, Claudius was supposed to have red eyes, but for some reason I could never get it to work when I'd get the web-ready version set up. This week, because the color was so important (due to…y'know, magic), I made sure it stuck.

Anyway…onwards to comic book reviews! And spoilers. Lots of spoilers.

Green Arrow #7

The Solicit: Green Arrow's gone looking for trouble, and he's found it--in triplicate! Three women who give new meaning to the term "drop dead gorgeous" have our hero outnumbered and outgunned. Collectively, they're called "Skylark," and they've been sent on a secret mission with Oliver Queen as its focus!
Okay, I may have been biased against Ann Nocenti, the new writer for Green Arrow, ever since she made a few references to Ollie being 24 years old (can we say "massive continuity issues with Red Hood and the Outlaws," anyone?), but page 1 automatically threw me when Oliver Queen started a one-man pity party with dialogue like "I hate my life. Split in two, neither half free." This is dialogue I'd expect to hear out of Superboy "I'll kill you to death" Prime, not billionaire playboy Oliver Queen.
Also, I'm not a fan of the artist. I know, in two bullet points I've just ragged on the two main points of the new creative team. It's not that Harvey Tolibao's bad, I just don't think he's suited for this book. Put him on something like Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. or…heck, I'd be willing to try him out on a few issues of Swamp Thing (but just a few issues…I love what Yanick Paquette's doing too much to replace him full-time), but…I'm not too fond of how he's drawing Green Arrow (although, credit where credit is due, I did like his design work on Ollie's trick arrows…they actually come off as realistic and practical).
Ollie meets Skylark (one name, three women…this could be a pronoun's nightmare) and they attack him to audition for a job. See, they're crazy for him and made a whole slew of new tech and want him to come to their Canadian lab to check it out. I'm pretty sure I've seen Craigslist ads that were less sketchy, but this is the same comic that started things off with "the Jersey Shore of supervillains," so I guess anything's fair game now.
Okay, I take back some of my complaints about Tolibao. It seems like once he got that first splash page out of his system, his art started to tone down and even out. By about page 5 or 6 my nerd rage started mellowing out on the art.
Well, I have good news: I finished the comic without wanting to set it ablaze (I'll leave that, as always, to Linkara, thank you). It's really weird, but I swear you can see this comic improving by the page. While I still have some slight issues with the new creative team, I'm interested to see if they can continue this upward trend.

Swamp Thing #7

The Solicit: Moss fills lungs. Leaves scrape across skin and wood against bone. A Swamp Thing is rising in The Green's hour of darkest need, but is Alec Holland a part of it or is he just bleeding out in a ditch? And as Alec falls, a horrible champion is taking the throne of the Bone Kingdom at Sethe's right hand!
Okay, first off: dat cover. Seriously. I love everything about it. That looks like Swamp Thing is slowly replacing the chlorophyll in his blood with acid. And I love it.
DC, you're killing me with putting ads on every other page here. Swamp Thing is a book all about having triply, crazy, 2-page spreads and you're harshing my mellow, man.
Alec "Swamp Thing" Holland is dying, but is protected by the Parliament of Trees. Not that they're going to turn him into Swamp Thing or anything, no, they're dying too and want to make him suffer.
Ultimately, through some powerhouse speechifying, Alec swamps out (I don't like it, but it's certainty a better alternative to "Alec things out") and I love it. After nearly seven issues, we finally get our titular character back! There's a solid page of build-up highlighting Alec's transformation, the entire time making you think "all right! I'm gonna turn the page and there's gonna be, like, a full-page image of Swamp Thing roaring back to life and it'll be awesome…" then you turn the page and it's a close-up of Swamp Thing's eye. And I love that. It's simple, but effective.
For someone who's been waiting for Swamp Thing to show up in his own book, I could complain that this issue felt like a tease for next month's issue (Swampy ends the issue with "and now, Rot…I will show you war"), but this issue felt extremely satisfying.

Justice League International #7

The Solicit: With the Signal Men defeated and Earth saved from certain annihilation, the members of Justice League International expected to bask in glory and appreciation. Such is not the case as a new threat far more dangerous than anyone dared suspect emerges and attacks with dire results!
Okay, that entire solicit is just lazy writing. I could've written this same solicit for DC last month without any knowledge of what's in this issue. I know because I still haven't read this issue yet and I already knew all of this.
Things start out rough as the JLI deal with the aftermath of…y'know, exploding last month. Guy Gardner's Green Lantern ring and Booster Gold's forcefield protected them, but everyone else is in rough shape. Batman shows up ("watching from a rooftop across the street." Yeah, just admit it, Bruce. You wanna be on the team) to help Booster with rescue detail.
A member of the JLI dies. It made me angry. Because I'm a nice guy, that's all I'm going to say about that because I want you to have your own little nerd rage moment(s) when you read this issue.
I think Godiva puts things in perspective best: "A bomb? A simple freaking bomb? This isn't supposed to happen to people like us! We protect people!"
I finally get confirmation that Skeets is still around in the DCnU. He's reduced to a wrist communicator, but hey, it's Skeets, everyone!
This was a…deeply serious and somber issue. I knew some additions were being made to the roster, but I didn't know it was going to be at the cost of previously-established characters. Don't get me wrong, it's a good issue, just…know what you're getting into before you start.

Stormwatch #7

The Solicit: They've come to steal Earth's gravity! When a scientific experiment tears a hole in the barrier between dimensions, gravity miners from a forbidden universe invade our world. Can Stormwatch find a way to repel alien excavators?
Seriously, it's 2012 and I just read a solicit that begins with "they've come to steal Earth's gravity!" How awesome is that?!
This was a great issue, dealing with the messed-up parallel-dimension monsters of Chernobyl, which is the single greatest sentence I get to type today.

Supurbia #1 (of 4)

The Solicit: What goes down when the capes come off? Meet the Real Housewives of Earth's greatest super-team, the Meta Legion! It's the egos, the tantrums, and the betrayals of the super set. Find out what happens behind the masks as superhero families are faced with the sordid problems of everyday life - and then some! From rising star writer Grace Randolph (Marvel's Nation X, Her-oes) and hot new artist Russell Dauterman, this series takes the familiar super-team and turns it on its head with a scandalous, TMZ-fueled look at what it's like to live with a superhero!
Oh, this is a silly parody of the Justice League. I'll say this: it's a good book, but I'm glad it's a miniseries since I'm afraid the jokes would wear thin if it had been turned into an ill-advised ongoing title.

Lone Ranger #3

The Solicit: The "Hard Country" arc continues with its first multi-issue story. The Lone Ranger is pitted against a new enemy who hides behind the symbol Lone Ranger holds most dear: a Marshal's badge. Tasked by a federal agent to stop a murderous gang of train robbers, Lone Ranger and Tonto find themselves ambushed and betrayed. The hard country that is the old west just got harder for its two greatest heroes.
If you hate this book, you hate America. There. I said it.

Captain Victory #4

The Solicit: When Captain Victory brings a mysterious wounded woman on board the Dreadnaught Tiger, it's up to the mysterious amphibious Orca to discover just what happened to her! As he trawls through black waters of the planet Dok searching for clues, however, Orca's memories begin to surface. Will his past catch up to him just in time to drag him down? Or will Victory lose another crew member in a tragic accident?
As good as this issue was (note: very), what with its introduction to the Kirby: Genesis analogue to Aquaman 'n all, I'm looking forward to next month's issue where, as this issue teases, "shadow people get hurt. A lot."

Toy Story # 1 (of 4)

The Solicit: All-New Four Issue Mini Series! New Adventures Featuring Woody, Buzz Lightyear And More! Andy's New Puppy, Buster, Loves To Play With The Toys - But If Woody, Buzz And The Gang Can't Control The Playful Pooch, All That Chewing And Shaking Will Damage Them For Sure!
I wanted to love this comic because…dude, Toy Story. And it's not bad, but some of the dialogue's a little off. And I do mean a little; usually it comes down to a word or two in a line that makes it feel less like a Toy Story comic and more like illustrated Toy Story fan fiction. This book is almost there and that deserves a look, but hopefully things will improve in issue 2.

Action Comics #7

The Solicit: Metropolis has been captured! To save it, Superman must push the limits of his nascent powers as never before! Aboard the ship that has the city captive, The Man of Steel finds an important tool that may help him defeat Metal-zero and his boss!And as Superman fights foes in the sky, Steel must do what he can to protect those still in danger on the ground in a backup story by Sholly Fisch and Brad Walker!
First thing's first: a long overdue welcome back to Action Comics artist Rags Morales! You were very (very) sorely missed!
After two issues of…something that wasn't the main plot, we finally get back to our young Superman who's…wait, what's that, Clark? "…I can still see the alien spaceship with my zoom vision." Really, Clark? That's what you're going with? Zoom vision? Not super-vision or telescopic vision or…anything that sounds more dignified than "zoom vision?" Even General Lane thinks that's lame…and I never thought I'd actually side with General Lane (in my defense, the man did voice Darkseid, so I have every reason in the world not to trust him)
Umm…Clark literally runs up to the spaceship. I like that the soles of his boots rip (ten seasons of Smallville and we never got a shoe rip!) and that he had the foresight to have an oxygen tank, but…no suit? Of any kind? Your arms are friggin' BARE in SPACE. How did that sound like a good idea?
We get to hear Brainiac exposit about his origins. He moves from planet to planet amassing knowledge. On Krypton he was called Brainiac 1.0 and on Earth…he's known as the Internet. Think about that for a second…what percentage of Brainiac is now made up of cat pictures?
Well, it was fun while it lasted, but I guess Clark done got his super-suit…oh, it also looks like he gonna be fighting Brainiac next month.
We also get a nice, human-interest-style backup story as Steel tries to fight the good fight on Earth as Superman yells at Brainiac.

Well, that's (finally) all for this week. I'll see you next week as we start barreling towards the conclusion of my first year of webcomics!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 047

2012-03-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

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Okay, guys. Are you ready for some hyperbole? I'll assume you said yes. I'm pretty sure this is my favorite issue of Peach the Destroyer ever. I'm not sure if it's because we finally see Dr. Felis outside of a video screen and/or a flashback, because we finally get to see the infamous C.A.T. Force 5 (see issues 018 to...see them get mentioned), or because I got to work in a freakin' A-Team reference (I know I didn't really need to link to that...that one was just self-indulgence on my part).

Anyway, with no further ado, onwards to spoiler-filled comic reviews!

Bionic Man #7

The Solicit: Steve is reunited with Jaime for the first time since his transformation, but can even his true love find a place in her heart for a lover who is now more machine than man? The truth about the homicidal Hull's origin and its ties to Oscar Goldman come out, and Steve learns that being an O.S.I. agent is a lifetime commitment... sometimes an involuntary one.
There’s something...relatable about a protagonist who can still get slapped by his gal, which happens in page 2 when Steve apologizes to Jamie about, y’know, her having to bury him when he “died.”
Jamie tells a nice, sad little story about her parents. I don’t know if this particular scene was written by Kevin Smith or Phil Hester, but it’s a great, quiet little character moment in a story about a cyborg dude who punches people and sometimes you need those.
The majority of this issue is spent as an infodump on our crazy bionic supervillain, Colonel Avery Hull, who’s described as “a real life G.I. Joe” before he even got to be bionic. Long story short, he’s (as I’m sure the viewers at home have already surmised) Bionic Man 1.0, and Steve’s mission is to “deactivate” him.
By the way, I’m not linking to the cover here, but be warned that the cover is, fairly literally, a spoiler for the end of the book. Which bugs me.
The solicit’s fairly honest for the book, really, though I’m not exactly pleased with how they ramp up the “will Jamie still love Steve?” angle.

Justice League #6

The Solicit: The Justice League is united at last against Darkseid. The awesome consequences of this high-stakes battle will resonate within the series for years to come! Geoff Johns and Jim Lee end their historic first arc with a bang!
We get our first glmpse at Desaad and Steppenwolf and...yeah, let’s just say I can see these guys and the “New 52” Parademons coming from the same planet now.
Okay, stand back, because I’m gonna unleash the one-two punch of badass moments of the week: Wonder Woman stabs Darkseid in the eye with a sword. Then Aquaman stabs the other eye with a trident. SERIOUSLY, STUFF LIKE THAT DOES NOT JUST HAPPEN! THAT IS JUST PLAIN AWESOME!
Some groundwork gets laid when Batman saves Superman and Supes exposits “The death and torture Darkseid’s spread across a...multiverse. I think I saw...me.”
I’m not ruining it for you guys, but...there is a beautiful 2-page splash page that literally made me exclaim “god I love comics!”, it was that good.
Directly after the Magnificent Crowning Moment of Awesome (jeez, there were a lot of those in this issue), we get two pages of the League working as a team. Maybe it’s because you usually don’t see “teams” working as a team in superhero-related stuff (just watch about any of the X-Men movies to see this exemplified), but seeing this team fire on all cylinders after bickering for 5 issues felt like icing on the cake.
We end with a ceremony thanking the League in Washington, DC (paying, I think, fairly blatant homage to Justice League: The New Frontier, which I highly recommend reading or watching, depending on your preference) and a backup comic featuring everyone’s favorite cloaked woman, Pandora (you remember her, right?).

Kirby: Genesis - Dragonsbane #2

The Solicit: Spinning out of KIRBY: GENESIS, Sigurd Dragonsbane and his band of Norse champions explore the astonishing Mythlands, where the heroes and legends of every culture on earth now reside. But when they venture into the Olympian region, they run afoul of both Circe and the Cyclops...and the power and majesty of Ulysses might not be enough to save them! Plus: Balduur reveals an incredible secret power...at the possible expense of his own life!
Okay, that solicit offends me more than most because 90% of it’s just a plot summary of issue 1. Did that issue not sell well or something? Did people need a “previously, in Dragonsbane!” for issue 2?
As if to prove a point that Dragonsbane is the book where anything can happen, friggin’ Ulysses shows up to save our pig--err, heroes from Circe’s clutches.
I’m not sure why (or if it’s intentional), but something about our Nordic heroes reminds me of Jack Kirby’s Forever People. Just an observation.
I’m going to say it: if you’ve remained on the fence on the entire Kirby: Genesis line, Dragonsbane is the best book to get you started. Much like Jack Kirby’s Fourth World, each book has a different flavor and manages to stand apart from one another, but add in the facts that this book A) rocks and B) is only at issue 2 make it an easy recommendation.

Batman Beyond: Unlimited #1

The Solicit: A new era begins with the debut of the oversized, monthly Batman Beyond Unlimited, featuring the print debut of the new Justice League Beyond! In the Batman Beyond chapter, legendary Batman artist Norm Breyfogle returns to draw the Dark Knight of the future with best-selling writer Adam Beechen. In “10,000 Clowns,” an onslaught of new Jokerz is plaguing Gotham City – and the implications of this chaotic clown menace could have disastrous consequences for Terry McGinnis and Bruce Wayne! And the debut of the Justice League Beyond is here, courtesy of the Batman: Streets of Gotham art team of Dustin Nguyen and Derek Fridolfs, as the first two digital-first chapters are available in print for the first time! Batman Beyond is a new recruit in the mighty Justice League, but the team will be immediately tested by a very Neo Gotham-related enemy! How will the team work together to combat this threat?
So...does this mean Batman Beyond is canon in the New DC Universe? I suppose it’s easier to accept a walking Commissioner Barbara Gordon in a continuity where Barbara’s retaken up the cowl as Batgirl, but I still have to ask.
I was surprised to discover that the writer for the Batman Beyond half of the book, Adam Beechen, didn’t have a history of writing for the show when it was on (as far as I could find), because this story felt like I was watching an episode of the cartoon (albeit with a far more detailed art style than the Bruce Timm “barrel-chested and angular” motif would allow).
Surprisingly, it doesn’t take long for a ton of familiar faces to crop back up. In the Justice League Beyond story, we see the re-appearance of some of the Jokerz crew from Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (and an appearance in a Justice League Unlimited 2-parter). Heck, even a few of the genetically spliced “Animal Kingdom” gang are familiar to me.
Hey, Justice League Beyond? Know how you have “Barda: Exiled god from New Genesis” on your team? Yeah, I’m ignoring that and saying that’s Mister Miracle and Big Barda’s daughter. Why? Because I like legacy heroes, darnit.
Overall, this was a good book and definitely worth a buy, especially if you grew up on the cartoon (though that’s not a requirement).

That's all for this week, everyone. Come back next week for another chapter in the adventures of Peach the Destroyer!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 046

2012-02-23T00:00:00.001-05:00

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What's this? Peach? Appearing in the comic that bears her name?! Whoda thunk it?! Anyway, I'm excited about this week's comic for two incredibly geeky reasons: 1- I'm probably the only webcomic you've read all week that namedropped a Faraday cage and 2- I got to have someone say (a variation of) "It's magic. I don't have to explain it." So yeah, this is a big week for me. Let's celebrate with my weekly comic reviews, shall we?

WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS!

I'm trying something different this week: I put the solicit for each issue in with my review. This way, you get some idea of the plot in case I forgot to mention it.

Aquaman #6

The Solicit: Who sank Atlantis? Mera, the beautiful Atlantean assassin trained in the Bermuda Triangle, follows a trail of death and deceit to the one man who knows the ugly truth. But what does he want in return for his secrets--and how does it all tie into Mera's own dark past?
We start with a flashback to...I guess Mera’s assassin training, where she proclaims “Aquaman will die!” This was a pretty big revelation to me considering...well, I’ll be honest, I don’t know a whole lot about Mera, so pretty much anything would’ve been a big revelation to me.
Trouble comes up when Creepy McGropey tries to cop a feel with Mera in the grocery store and she does the only logical thing she can think of...break his arm. This goes exactly as you’d expect and the crowd turns on her pretty quickly.
...and then things get really crazy as Mera starts waterbending like crazy and throwing a royal hissy fit.
“Aquawoman? Hahaha! You’re scared of Aquawoman, Randy?” I love this comic. I love it good.
Okay, I’m not going to spoil it for you here, but there’s one scene in particular that will make you walk away with newfound respect for Mera and her powers.
We learn Mera’s from a colony separate from Atlantis and, by refusing to assassinate Aquaman, she’s cut off from her people.
The solicit, surprisingly, is kinda true...in its own twisted way. At the end of the issue, Mera returns home and meets up with Aquaman, who says they’re off to see Dr. Stephen Shin, who’s going to tell them who sank Atlantis.

The Savage Hawkman #6

The Solicit: Hawkman comes face to face with Jim Craddock, a.k.a. the Gentleman Ghost, a malevolent spirit obsessed with finding an ancient relic called the Mortis Orb. Can Hawkman stop Craddock from using the power of the Orb to unleash hell on Earth?
That solicit basically covers the first page of this issue. It really makes me wonder how much the writer of that thing had to work with.
Hey, New 52 Gentleman Ghost has a head, with a face ‘n everything! Granted, we only see it on one page and he keeps to the shadows because the “floating monocol and a tophat” look’s too iconic to ignore, but still.
So Hawkman goes and finds the Mortis Orb in a cemetery, causing a bunch of corpses to rise up and attack him because...hey, zombies.
Gentleman Ghost plans to use the Orb to restore his life, triggering a Zombie Apocalypse as a byproduct. The issue ends with the tease “Hawkman battles an army of the dead!” so...yeah. There’s that.

Justice League Dark #6

The Solicit: Enchantress has been subdued, but this team of misfits hardly knows how to celebrate when each is still wrestling with their own demons. While Zatanna and Constantine try to decide on their next steps, Deadman deals with his loss, and Shade the Changing Man tries to bring Mindwarp back from the edge of sanity.
Madame Xanadu tries to get the Justice League Dark team together in a more...traditional manner. Namely the old “tell x people they have a one-on-one meeting with me and let wacky sitcom hijinks ensue!”
I think with this new, slightly more traditional, take on Justice League Dark will be good for it. Sure, the team’s disgruntled, bitter, and will go through more growing pains than if Justice League International were comprised of nothing but a batch of Guy Gardner and Booster Gold clones, but that’s half the fun! I’m excited for this book now!
I’m not, however, excited that this book is crossing over with I, Vampire. That’s one of those DC books I’m happy to pretend don’t actually exist.

The Fury of Firestorm #6

The Solicit: In the blink of an eye, Ronnie and Jason witness a horror so gruesome, the two young Firestorms will question their entire futures as superheroes. As if that wasn't enough, Pozhar, the Russian Firestorm, shows the two boys exactly how dangerous their world has become.
...okay, so...first four pages have our Firestorms dealing with 2000 people dying. Let that sink in because that’s probably the single most messed-up sentence I’ll type tonight.
Actually, the whole issue’s about dealing with that event. Pozhar drops in and goads them and, after Ronnie and Jason beat each other up, Ronnie runs off to settle the score with Pozhar and Jason’s on the run from the law. It’s an action-heavy issue that feels like the prologue to a much darker story.

Superman #6

The Solicit: Recently, an onslaught of creatures has targeted Superman, nearly destroying Metropolis in the process. And now...Superman is helping them finish the job?! Guest-starring Supergirl!
So...this issue wraps up George Perez’ run on the title. A lot of this feels like an epilogue and...I think Supergirl’s appearance may have been a little unnecessary (was the world really clamoring for a scene where Superman beat Supergirl to a pulp?). Everything kinda goes where you expect it to...fake Superman beats on Supergirl, real Superman beats on fake Superman, real Superman tosses fake Superman’s bits ‘n pieces into the sun. Y’know, same old same old.
I know I keep harping on it, but a lot of this story feels reminiscent of Superman’s story in Wednesday Comics. And, now that it’s completed, I think I can safely say I actually like this story a bit more (bear in mind, it’s been a good year or so since I read my copy of Wednesday Comics). All the loose plot threads tie up nicely (maybe a bit too nicely since Perez is off the title), leaving us with a (mostly) fresh slate for the new creative team to take over next month.

Teen Titans #6

The Solicit: In the aftermath of their battle with Superboy, the Teen Titans make a horrifying discovery: Kid Flash has been knocked out of synch! If they are going to save their teammate, the badly beaten and battered teens need to sneak into the New York branch of S.T.A.R. Labs.
Our first page has Kid Flash debating grammar (sorry, I really couldn’t pass up an excuse to use that link).
In the aftermath of the Teen Titans/Superboy superbrawl, the Titans have to run from the police and help Bart Allen with his power issues (wow...I just realized I basically re-wrote part of the solicit. Sorry).
I’m very pleased to see the appearance of Virgil Hawkins/Static in this comic...especially considering the public fallout that happened regarding the behind-the-scenes goings-on that lead to his own book’s cancellation.
Oh, and we also meet the very annoying Grymm. I can tell he’s annoying because he has a messed-up jagged mouth, no lips, and it’s impossible for you to figure out how he talks. Also, he uses the same joke twice in one page.
Going back to Virgil, I like his characterization in this issue. Bear in mind, I’m not too familiar with him outside of the cartoon, so seeing him running around like a Time Lord genius is pretty awesome.
Oh, Kid Flash gets a new costume to save his life.

The Ray #3 (of 4)

The Solicit: Lucien can rescue Chanti from the clutches of the Isopods, but can he save his relationship with her? More important, can he save her family from the evil Director, who wants to destroy everything for his art?
The Ray battles a TRON villain. I wish I got to type sentences like that more often, because that’s awesome. Seriously, this guy needs his own ongoing series. Need more? Here’s his origin story, in his own words: “Was it crazy to be reborn from a hundred yards of thirty-five millimeter film that was bathed in a Lazarus Pit?” How did anyone think a character this rich would only work in a miniseries?!
Anyway, TRON guy wants The Ray to be the star of his movie. It’s a whole thing.

Well, that wraps things up for this week. I'll see you same time next week for more crazy Peach the Destroyer action!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 045

2012-02-16T00:00:00.001-05:00

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Hey, guys. Not much to say since I'm typing this up mere minutes before the comic updates, so I'll see you next week. Now on with the comic reviews!

Superboy #6

I really like how, whenever DC recaps something from another book, they throw in a note from "Cross-Promotional Chris" or some other person with a wacky nickname. It feels, ironically, a little like classic Marvel comics.
Superboy, on a hunch, punts N.O.W.H.E.R.E.'s surveillance truck into a river and flies off.
Supergirl shows up, still dealing with her Kryptonian language barrier. Superboy's powers solve the issue by having him instantly download Kryptonian speech, which helps them get on the same page…and quickly start fighting (y'know, as superheroes do).
Superboy's inner monologue is…surprisingly human this month, showing his evolution as a character. Also, he gets punched by Supergirl a lot.
I'm not sure if the newfound knowledge that clones revolted on Krypton is a clue to what caused its destruction, but it's an interesting bit of information nonetheless.
Supergirl explains that Kryptonian clones are doomed to turn into mindless killing machines (which could explain stuff like…y'know, this), which I'm sure can be explained away with one line of dialogue about Superboy's half-human side, but it's nice that he has something new to fear.

Supergirl #6

We begin with a flashback of Kara training for the combat portion of her finals trials and she receives some important advice from her father, Zor-El.
Kara escapes the ruins of her dying planet (which, remember, was so far away from Earth's yellow sun that her powers had faded) thanks to…a pick-me-up speech from holograms/memories of her parents? I don't really understand it, but it gets her off-world and back to Earth, where Reign's popped back up (no other inhabited planets between here and Krypton, huh?).
Reign reveals that more Worldkillers survived Krypton's destruction, teasing a heck of a knock-down drag-out fight next month.

Wonder Woman #6

One of the great aspects of this run on Wonder Woman has been the designs of the Greek gods. Last issue we met the Cthulhu-like Poseidon and this month we meet Hades, who looks like an albino midget in armor wearing a crown of melted candles that covers half his head. Honestly, I thought he was a flunkie at first, but as soon as he introduced himself…know what? It works.
Also, just a bit of fun with the Greek pantheon, a character says "god almighty" and gets no less than three "yes?"es. We need a petition to keep Brian Azzarello on this book forever.
This issue's an interesting game of Wonder Woman's team trying to pull a fast one on the Greek gods. In the end, Diana finds herself under Hades' thumb, ending the issue on an ominous note.

Birds of Prey #6

This is one of those issues I won't have a lot to say about…not saying that it's bad or incomprehensible, mind you.
The conspiracy theory ramps up with the team rescuing top secret sleeper agents, culminating in an office building getting activated (which is a really, really creepy visual).
The only negative is it feels like some tension was lost between issue 5 and this one. The big cliffhanger from last month gets addressed pages later almost in a "oh snap, we forgot to mention…" kind of way.

Snarked! #5

This is the beginning of a new leg of the Snarked! adventure (I believe it's even being billed as the perfect jumping on point for new readers, if memory serves), with our intrepid heroes out at sea.
"You! Mister La-De-Dah I'm-So-Mysterious Cheshire Cat! Where on Earth have you been? Do you have any idea of what we've been through the last couple of days?" Have I mentioned I love the writing in this book?
This book is so good it's positively beaming and you have no excuse for not reading it right now.

Avenging Spider-Man #4

"Oh. Stupid Avengers. We get it, Hawkeye. You can shoot an arrow real good." Y'know, as a DC fan who'll always prefer a certain Emerald Archer…I enjoyed the random archery teacher complaining at Hawkeye.
As if trying to win me over, Hawkeye proceeds to complain about one of the kids in the class using a compound bow. Nice try, Hawkeye. Keep working at it (also, it seems his complaining has fallen on deaf ears over at Nerf).
"'What if you missed and that one got away?' 'It's me. I don't miss.'" Seriously, Hawkeye? Seriously? Jeez, someone let being in the Avengers movie go to his head. Has he always been this full of himself?
I think the next Avenging Spider-Man team up needs to be someone Spidey gets along with. Red Hulk was one thing, but Hawkeye just rubs me the wrong way.
I'm sorry, but this was the worst showcase for a character since the Frankenstein/O.M.A.C. team-up…in fact, I'd say O.M.A.C. came off better in his issue. This was several pages of "I'm awesome. Hey, guys. Come check out how awesome I am!" with an eleventh-hour Very Special Message tacked on. Honestly, I don't think a single issue made me nerd rage harder than this.

Flash Gordon: Zeitgeist #3

"Flash Gordon, Earthman." I don't know why, but I just love that that caption's sitting there on the first page, like it's daring someone who picked this up by accident to keep reading.
Flash, after destroying two alien ships: "greetings from Earth, fellas." Note that he says it with a period, not an exclamation point. Why? Because he's Flash FREAKING Gordon!
This issue felt a little slow after the breakneck pacing in the beginning, but I don't mind it. It's the calm before the storm, and the storm seems to be coming next month.

DC Universe Presents: Challengers of the Unknown #6

I'm still not sure how I feel about this book…there were some good parts and there were some questionable parts.
I liked...the idea of Challengers of the Unknown being in the DCnU, which is the point of "DC Universe Presents," I suppose: highlighting characters who may not be popular enough to warrant an ongoing series.
I hated the trippy dream sequence serial killer 2-page spread...and then at the end of the issue, there's the tease that it wasn't a dream sequence (I guess?) and serial killer boy's our villain? It really ended on a sour note for me.

That's all for this week. I'll see you next Thursday, hopefully with more to say!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 044

2012-02-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

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And with that, we finally seem to be back in the present day. The flashbacks were kind of crazy fun...plus the lettering felt easier (I'm not sure why). But I'm glad that we can finally get back to, y'know, seeing how Peach and company react to this infodump and what else Claudius has in store for them...but that's a story for another week. For now, on to our traditional spoiler-filled comic reviews...

Batgirl #6

"Mr. Wayne? Bruce? Please don't cave my head in with that thing." Could there BE better words to start an issue with?
Y'know, there's something just inherently wrong with Bruce Wayne of all people threatening someone with a crowbar…
"Let's back you away from the mean old crowbar, okay, sir?" Seriously, is it too early to just hand Gail Simone all the money she wants for her writing? Oh…
Ardian Syaf is the first artist I've seen draw the Batcave (that I can recall) and I'm eternally grateful to know that the huge animatronic T-Rex still resides there (now if only I could get confirmation on the giant penny…).
I'm concerned that the tease for next month's issue is "THE JOKE REVISITED!"

Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #6

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but there's something wonderfully '90s about the art in this book…something about the inking on it.
Umm…pardon me for having not seen the movie ever, but this issue seems to be Apocalypse Now with superpowers. Now I'm imagining Marlon Brando with superpowers. Great.
And the Apocalypse Now tangent was just an excuse to have Frankenstein off-base while it got taken over by evil fake human things. Guys, I saw this when Doctor Who did it and…well, it bugged me then. Granted, Frankenstein's a better protagonist than Matt Smith's Doctor, but I'm going to try to keep my expectations low for this…

Bionic Man #6

In the midst of a knock-down drag-out fight, Steve says "this was not in the training montage." I like it; it's refreshingly meta…
This was a great action issue…might not be the best place to start reading, but it's a great ride.

Kirby: Genesis - Silver Star #3

Silver Star goes on an astral plane acid trip in North Korea for a little while. Also, a catgirl shows up. Yeah. You should probably read this.

Thief of Thieves #1

"This is Viggo, the head of my personal security. He will be hitting you now." You have to appreciate a lady who's not afraid to be polite with the man who just stole from her…
I like that different scenes get a cutesy little title like "BACK HOME…WHY REDMOND NEEDS AN ASSISTANT" or "THE UNEXPECTED MEETING OR, AN UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT." It makes the comic read a bit like a TV show…in fact, the whole issue reads like a television pilot, to the point where I wonder if there's a bigger behind-the-scenes story there...

Well, guys, that wraps things up for this week. We'll see you back here next week, same Peach time, same Peach channel.

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 043

2012-02-02T00:00:00.003-05:00

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Not much to say about this week's issue, sorry. The device in panels 3 and 4 is supposed to be based off the "blinky light units" from the Stargate franchise.

And now...comic reviews! Warning: I discuss spoilers, so...consider yourselves warned.

Green Arrow #6

Oh, DC, you know just how to tease me. First the cover to Justice League #8 gets released, now you have Ollie reminiscing about meeting Aquaman? I can’t wait!
We learn Green Arrow has bio-scanners built into his goggles, which I guess is as good an excuse as any for him not rocking the classic domino mask. Still no explanation why the only facial hair he’s ever shown with is a perpetual 5 o’clock shadow, however.
We also learn Blood Rose is a robot. Honestly, did not see that one coming.
Something about Green Arrow’s final confrontation at Midas/Blood Rose’s hideout felt really strong. Ollie got some good quips in and came off as smart and resourceful and I even found myself lamenting the fact that these characters look like they won’t be appearing in further Green Arrow adventures. The additional kick to the teeth is the fact that this is the final issue written by Keith Giffen, meaning we’re losing a writer as soon as, I feel, he’s found the character’s voice.
In the end, Ollie takes a moment to savor his victory over the Seattle skyline. He kicks back and...pops open a beer. This beer happens to be in a long, golden can, which looks suspiciously similar to the long, golden canisters Green Arrow carries on his hip. It’s official: Green Arrow is the new Iron Man.

Action Comics #6

Hey, kids, remember how last month I lamented not knowing what was going on? This issue has the slight problem of assuming I understood last month’s issue, so the resulting effect is similar to walking into the middle of a movie.
So, anyway, we meet some midget dealer in alien tech, who had the Anti-Superman Army (which seems to consist of a trio of kryptonite-powered punks called The K-Men, a mummy, and a robot cowboy) steal the kryptonite engine of Superman’s childhood spaceship. It’s explained that all colors of kryptonite will be grown from this one engine, which I like as an explanation much better than, say, a meteor shower.
Superman of the future shows up to save the jeans-’n-boots wearin’ Superman of the past, along with an older version of the Legion of Superheroes! Also, Superman gets to punch a T-rex.
Aww, man. We get flashbacks to young Clark with Pa Kent and...it really makes me hate that the Kents are dead in-continuity. Who’s going to be Clark’s sounding board for...y’know, superhero stuff?
“COME AND DIE INSIDE YOUR HERO’S BRAIN, YOU FOPS!” Dang. Mummies are intense.
I liked this issue (surely it was leaps and bounds above last month’s headscratcher), but what really makes it shine is the backup story “Last Day,” which has Clark ready to leave for college and reminiscing on his farmboy memories before handing the farm over to a family friend.

Swamp Thing #6

Swamp Thing continues its run as unlikeliest good book of the New 52...even with a new artist who’s trying in vain to reproduce the bizarre, organic panel structure of his predecessors. I’m sorry, Marco Rudy, but you need to either commit to a 2-page spread of cracked-out weirdness or just stick with a conventional panel layout. Also, you don’t draw the creepy kid creepy enough.
We learn Abby (Alec’s gal pal for most of the previous 5 issues) is the evil version of Alec; serving “the Rot” instead of “the Green.”
Alec pulls his best Terminator 2 impression, fleeing from the Rot on Abby’s motorcycle and USING A FRIGGIN’ SHOTGUN TO KILL SOME EVIL LACKEYS! Seriously, who thought we’d see the day when Swamp Thing would get to use a shotgun?!
Um...I guess Alec Holland’s dead now. Tune in next month for the adventures of some new guy being Swamp Thing, I guess.
Realistically, we wouldn’t be killing off the title character in issue #6 of a book that’s not even being cancelled. Conversely, kinda hard to walk a “chainsaw-to-the-chest wound” off.

Stormwatch #6

I’m sorry, Stormwatch is always a solid book, I just usually don’t have much to say about it other than “this issue was good.”
With their headquarters falling to pieces, Jack communicates with the “soul” of the “city” that is their space station. This turns out to be an alien artificial intelligence that regards Stormwatch as invading parasites. I kinda like Jack, so seeing his attempts to barter a way out of the ship’s destruction was a clever way out for the team.
Martian Manhunter tosses in a quick retcon saying he’s actually never attempted to join the Justice League. Are you sure? Because that’s not what you said back in issue #1...
...and some blatant setup for the next storyline. I’ll say this about DC, they know how to keep you coming back.

Lone Ranger #2

I like to imagine the Lone Ranger stories as being old pulp comics from a bygone era. At least that’s my excuse for text boxes with stuff like “translated from Native American tribal language” in them...
There is an adorable scene of the Lone Ranger and Tonto meeting up with some little fanboy kids. It’s chock full of great dialogue like:

“Where’s Silver? Is he really ten feet tall?”

“Ten? No...I don’t think so. He’d be pretty hard to mount.”

Tonto makes it real easy to like him in just a few sentences. At one point he waxes philosophical about white man’s illusion of control over the west and, frankly, it’s hard to argue with him.
This issue feels a bit more melancholy than the previous one, with the Lone Ranger coming face-to-face with a childhood hero. It’s a quieter issue than last month’s, but I don’t mind. It tells the story it set out to in a rather eloquent way and shows the Ranger has some sharp wits about him to solve seemingly impossible problems.

Kirby: Genesis - Captain Victory #3

This was another solid entry in the Kirby: Genesis family that, frankly, you should be reading if you love comics.

Justice League International #6

Batman basically makes a cameo appearance to pep talk Booster Gold into continuing the JLI with or without the UN’s involvement.
In a “down time” moment, August General in Iron learns about the beauty of hotdogs. Poor guy, never had a hotdog before...
August General in Iron also does his best Thing impression and clobbers an evil van. Have I mentioned he’s one of my favorite characters in this team?
Oh, and the JLI exploded at the end. Couple this with Swamp Thing and DC had themselves a sick little week this week, didn’t they?

That's all for this week. Tune in next week for more drama, more comics, and more Peach the Destroyer!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 042

2012-01-26T00:00:00.004-05:00

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Good morning, Destroyers! I'm sorry that this almost covers the same basic ground as last week's comic, but as soon as I found out about the Acoustic Kitty project, I just knew I had to work it into Peach the Destroyer continuity. Hopefully you'll let this shameless bit of self indulgence slide. Trust me, next week things are going to start getting CRAZY!

And now, our weekly comic reviews... (warning: spoilers)

Avenging Spider-Man #3

We've had two solid issues of Spider-Man being…well, our friendly subterranean Spider-Man, quick with the jokes and funny one-liners. In this issue, he has a very nice scene with Jameson where we see that bravado crack as he explains why he can't show up at the Avengers' without Red Hulk.

If I remember correctly, this book was advertised as being "THE DEATH OF RED HULK!" which is about as hyperbolic as the last issue of regular ol' Amazing Spider-Man. It's a good thing, too, because Red Hulk's got some good character moments, too, especially when Spider-Man picks on him.

In the end, Spider-Man uses his greatest power of all: his mile-a-minute mouth to solve things. And, in his subterranean empire, the Mole Man promises vengeance for being pitied.

Kirby: Genesis #5

This is a big, bad, backstory-heavy issue that lays out a lot of the Kirby: Genesis story of early Earth. I'm not going to ruin it because, like the best Jack Kirby stories, it's a little weird, a little trippy, and very intriguing.

I'm going to admit…after reading a ton of this books' tie-in titles, I got a really good fist-pump moment when I saw Silver Star.

Justice League Dark #5

Um…this is issue five and I still don't understand what's going on.

The wackadoo arc with Enchantress and June Moon and a nursery rhyme wraps up…which may have been the source of over half my confusion.

There's a good, coherent scene towards the end where everyone's (finally) in one room together. Unfortunately, it's far too brief.

The Savage Hawkman #5

After Hawkman thinks he's crazy because he saw dead people, he wonders if maybe the nth metal inside him is poisoning him. It's an interesting and, heck, rational train of thought and I applaud him for thinking of it.

Hawkman's translation vision gets amped up to 11 when he looks at a mysterious book, making the symbols come to life as violent visions.

Most of this issue felt like setup for the new arc…although I really loved the issue-long slow build towards the last page reveal of the new Gentleman Ghost.

Teen Titans #5

This was just a great all-out action climax to last month's issue as Superboy pummels the Teen Titans roster one by one.

Superman #5

So the issue starts with Superman…absorbing another alien storm and becoming fairly blatantly possessed by whatever entity's been possessing people this arc.

Superman destroys some "giant Fleischer robots" while being possessed. Hey, DC, want to try being a tad more subtle in those references?

The end…I'll be honest, the end manages to feel like a little bit of a copout, but at the same time, I kinda want to see what happens next month.

Aquaman #5

This was a very strong "setup" issue, much like Hawkman. An ancient Atlantian glyph is found that has a secret message from Atlantis. A SWAT team from Atlantis come to retrieve it and, long story short, Aquaman winds up in the desert.

I really liked Aquaman's "vision quest" vision of his father. And the secret message when we finally got to see what it said.

The next issue tantalizingly promises "Mera takes on the world!" I can't wait, even if (or maybe especially if) it's straight out of The Currys of Atlantis.

Justice League #5

Y'know, there's something almost refreshing in seeing a police officer ask the Flash who he is. I'm not sure why…

On the other end of the spectrum…wow. Green Lantern's seriously pompous enough to just yell "GREEN LANTERN'S GOT THIS!"? I could see Guy "one punch!" Gardner trying that line, but Hal Jordan? Seriously?!

Green Lantern at least got some cool points after getting beat on by Darkseid by fashioning a cast for his arm with his ring. A few pages go by and…I guess he stopped concentrating or his arm was just dirty or something because his cast is all of a sudden gone. Cyborg reminds him his arm's broken and the cast shows back up. It's a nitpick, but c'mon, DC, Justice League is supposed to be your flagship book. Have someone look through it before going to press!

This issue is like an episode of Home Improvement. Batman plays the part of Wilson, giving Green Lantern the advice that the team needs to play football instead of baseball. Green Lantern, playing the part of Tim Allen, botches this message up terribly when he relays it to the team. I swear, I was half expecting Al to pop up out of the rubble to say "I don't think so, Hal."

And Batman did something dumb and wound up on Apokolips. World's greatest detective, indeed.

Well, that's all for this week. Come back next week to see what new twists and turns lie hidden in the past!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 041

2012-01-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

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Hey, guys! So...new comic today, attempting to pull off a nostalgic, sepia-tinted look. Technically I guess this might make today's update our first full-color comic.

Before we get to the weekly comic reviews, some late news (from January 12! How did I miss this?!). DC's announced the first books of the New 52 that are getting cancelled, along with the six new books that will replace them, so adjust your pull lists accordingly. With that out of the way, we now resume our regularly scheduled and spoiler-laden programming...

Snarked #4

Many compliments to writer/artist Roger Langridge, whose deft work with words is, frankly, unlike any other. All of his caption boxes are in rhyme and he makes it all flow so perfectly!
"Two-year-olds are like a collection of minor traumas strung together by snot and tears." Have I mentioned I love the writing in this book? I hope it runs for years.
- Speaking of my hopes that this book runs for years, there are tons of great throwaway references to things like "the great escape of '42" or "the oyster riots of '29" that, in the span of a few words, conjure up fantastic images that I'm sure would make for great spin-off miniseries fodder.
But enough vague talks about how great this book is (and it is. Go. Buy it. Now), what actually happens this issue? Well, our intrepid walrus, carpenter, and royal children are holed up William Lizard's house, having evaded the evil Gryphon and misinformed royal guards. William makes the guards suspicious, so they have to hatch another brilliant plan to sneak out to the ship they chartered in last month's issue. Wackiness and beautiful wordplay ensue!

Kirby: Genesis - Dragonsbane #1

First thing's first: the cover is a lie. Dragonsbane does not show up in modern times (yet). Just fair warning.
Fortunately for me, I just so happened to watch Kenneth Branagh's commentary to Thor earlier on Wednesday, so I was in just the right mindset to read a book steeped in Norse mythology.
Something I have to say about the entire Kirby: Genesis line is that, in an era where everyone wants to be gritty and realistic, every character in the Genesis universe just looks like an expensive Crayola box threw up on them. And I mean that in a good way.
Dragonsbane brings a really cool idea to the table: that all of the myths of old have been converged into one "mythland." When our Norse heroes ride off into the mists, they first find themselves in the myths of ancient Egypt, and then into the Greek parthanon, where they have a run-in with Circe. I'll let you figure out how well that goes, but those of you who are up on your mythology can probably figure it out.

Wonder Woman #5

See that segue I did there?
Circe doesn't show up, but we do get to meet DC's version of Poseidon, who looks creatively non-humanoid.
There's a biblical power struggle going down on Mt. Olympus in the wake of Zeus abdicating the throne, which is sort of reminiscent of the absentee God in Supernatural. So…I guess what I'm saying is this could go either way.

Supergirl #5

Kara flies off to Krypton and finds the city of Argo. Unlike in some versions of DC lore, it's not a bottle city protected by Brainiac, but is instead a free-floating astroid in some sort of forcefield. And it's abandoned.
In these abandoned ruins, Kara finds Reign, a superpowered vilainess who apparently imported her logic-defyingly-shaped sword from Japan
Reign's big reveal is that the disconcertingly overpowerful devices known as "worldkillers" on Krypton weren't devices, but living beings. How does she know this? Because…she is one!

Birds of Prey #5

I was questioning Poison Ivy being an apparent regular in this comic, but…know what? She brings this great dry humor to the book that makes for a great change of pace.
Ow... painful typo on page 14: "I don't get it. You need an abili for something, or are you just--" (note: the comic even has it in bold. Shame on you, Bobbie Chase [editor] and Katie Kubert [assistant editor])
This issue really ratcheted up the paranoia to 11, with Starling thinking she's been set up by the team (but it's really...well, I'm not going to ruin it for you). After a few shaky issues, it feels like this book might be hitting its stride.

That's all for this week, kids. Be sure to come back next week for more twists, turns, and surprises!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 040

2012-01-12T00:00:00.003-05:00

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Hey, guys! For a change of pace, I'm really proud of this week's comic. This is the kind of big reveal I've been threatening for weeks and, for once, I actually revealed something! Believe me, as excited as you guys are (you...are excited, right?), I'm even...excited-er!

Anyway, with no further ado, here are this week's comic reviews (warning: SPOILERS, especially for Batgirl, The Ray, and Superboy, so if you follow any of those three, feel free to skip my review).

Stormwatch #5

I swear, Stormwatch is one of those comics that's just laughably absurd because…hey, comics! Someone gets to say "the data I got from the moon." Data. From the moon. That's at least a little bit awesome.
Speaking of the moon, remember how I said last month's issue marked the end of the Stormwatch vs. The Moon story arc? Well, I…guess technically that phase of the story's over, but this is still listed as "The Dark Side: Part 5."
Also, Stormwatch gets an emergency visit from a member of The Shadow Cabinet (the Stormwatch team's bosses) to elect a new boss on the team. This results in some good comedy moments of him rattling off different characters' traits or deep dark secrets.
Overall, I think this may have been the best issue of Stormwatch yet. The story felt well-balanced and moved at a fast clip (as opposed to some issues that, I felt, sort of dragged).

The Lone Ranger #1

For the record, this is about as much knowledge of the Lone Ranger I had going into this.
"It's a good day…to see some justice done." Ohh…that's good comic.
I'll be honest…I wasn't expecting much from this comic. What I got was a surprisingly moving story from the perspective of Jurgens, a farmer in the Old West whose family is in need of some justice. I would highly recommend you seek this book out and I can only hope the rest of this arc is as good as this first issue.

Batgirl #5

A new conspiracy comes to Gotham with a crime family muttering on about "338" and we briefly see a new mystery woman named Gretel who can handle herself in a fight.
We also flash back to see Barbara's less-than-touching reunion with her mom, picking up from the last issue's cliffhanger. Maybe it's because we started with the whole "338" plot, but I wasn't too sold on Barbara's mother. I guess we'll have to see how she's developed in future issues, so I'm going to hold off on passing judgment here.
The Occupy movement comes to Gotham with the awesome protest slogan "NO WAYNE, NO HOW!" in response to Bruce Wayne's downtown urban renewal project. Whoever came up with the "NO WAYNE, NO HOW" slogan deserves a raise.
Oh, look. Bruce Wayne drank the magic 338 Kool-Aid, too. Considering they tease a team-up with Batman next issue, I'm assuming he'll be able to shake it pretty quick.

The Ray #2 of 4

I love the loose, easygoing narration in The Ray. I'm secretly hoping that this is selling well enough to earn an ongoing series in DC's upcoming announcements of new books.
Lucian finds a brave new way to have relationship drama in comic books…he uses his light-based superpowers to BECOME INDIAN to impress his girlfriend's traditional Indian parents. Somehow he forgot to run this by her (conflict!) and she chews him out. Her father glares at him through the window.
Another really great thing about this series is that all of the monsters have been weird, giant sea creatures. I'm expecting either an Aquaman team-up or the giant squid that was missing from the Watchmen movie.
And, in true superhero fashion, his girlfriend gets kidnapped. DC needs to make this an ongoing STAT because they have their very own Spider-Man right here.

Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #5

Since I don't follow Dan Didio's O.M.A.C. book, I went in assuming that I had missed the first part of this comic. So opening it up and seeing "Current Mission: stopping a race of Man-eating Mountain Dwarfs" just makes me smile and say "oh, comics."
Dude. As Frankenstein's threatening the dwarfs, he just casually mentions that his sword is the sword of the Archangel Michael. THAT IS AWESOME (I also thank DC for having a more literal interpretation of the Michael sword than Supernatural did back in season 5, but that just brings up bad memories, so I'll be moving on).
Frankenstein called O.M.A.C. "boy" like he was about to tell him to go out back and pick out a switch. That was out of nowhere and I love it!
This issue really didn't do O.M.A.C. any favors…he kind of comes off as a third-rate Hulk knock-off in this book and it didn't really fill me with any desire to read more about the character.
Also…minor nitpick/possible art failure: O.M.A.C. teleports off with Frankenstein's left arm right as he's trying to decapitate O.M.A.C. with his sword, held in his right arm. After the teleportation, we never see the sword again. Did O.M.A.C. steal it? Did Frankenstein drop it to clutch his arm stump? What happened?! THESE ARE THE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS, DC!

Superboy #5

Superboy remains a solid book, but my problems with it stem from a continuity standpoint: this issue precedes Teen Titans #5 and, if these kind of muck-ups continue, they're bound to make my head hurt.
We also get some oblique references to "Culling Day," including a creepy creepy farm couple who feel like those country people you see in TV shows who kidnap and hunt people for sport (if you watch your genre television, you've seen these people before. I always hate them).

Batman: The Brave And The Bold #15

I don't usually read this book, but I was a fan of the cartoon and, hey, this issue has Mister Miracle in it (I'm kind of a sucker for Mister Miracle).
This issue mixed some of Mister Miracle's best assets (Mother Box, Jack Kirby's Fourth World, and impossible escapes) with some of Batman's traits (namely villains trapping him in a dream state…the premise for two Batman: The Animated Series episodes if memory serves).

That's all for this week, kids. Come back next week for the beginning of the EPIC FLASHBACK!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 039

2012-01-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

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Hey, guys. Can you believe I'm already on comic #39?! Crazy! Well, we're finally back with Peach and her friends and things look like they're going to be getting even worse. What's the secret Bobby's been protecting our heroes from? We'll soon find out!

But first...comic book reivews! (warning: spoilers)

Swamp Thing #5

This continues to be a bit of a perplexing book for me. At one point it dawned on me that we've actually been seeing Swamp Thing's alter ego, Alec Holland, almost exclusively for five issues now. Imagine DC trying that with, say, a Batman or Superman comic. Crazy!
Creepy kid villain is still creepy. Hate kid villains.
Yanick Paquette is the only credited artist this issue (sorry, I usually don't keep track), and his pencils really keep me coming back to this story with the sharp layout and a…beautiful macabre. In fact, I think those words sum up the whole book for me. Beautiful macabre.

Flash Gordon: Zeitgeist #2

Dude. This is how you start a comic. Seriously, if I'd been marketing this book, this would have been the only preview image released. Wanna see Flash? Nope. Wanna know what Mongo's gonna look like? Buy the book. 'cuz we got Hitler saluting Ming the freakin' Merciless up in here!
- This book is just deliciously old school. Flash and Dale are separated and Dale's ordered to Ming's chambers? Flash reacts by beating on some guards and grunting "THAT'S NO WAY TO TREAT A LADY!" I swear, you can almost hear an Indiana Jones-era Harrison Ford yelling the dialogue.
- "In our darkest hour, he could save every one of us." Okay, Flash Gordon, you've already won me over. You officially don't have to quote Queen songs to make me happy (unlike other incarnations of this character).

Justice League International #5

Y'know, a newscaster raises a very good question early in this book: where is Superman? Where is the Justice League? Until I'm told otherwise, they're having a beach party. Superman's kicking back in a lounge chair saying "vacations are nice" and they have no clue this is going down.
I love the JLI…it's like one big, dysfunctional married couple. Everyone gets great banter moments: Guy Gardner complaining about Godiva, Rocket Red and August General in Armor actually behaving and not bickering with one another. Vixen chastising Batman for always being "the constant rain cloud."
And the team saves the day by crashing a gigantic spaceship into the Earth and Godiva has a flirty moment and, oh yeah, a vague shadow villain proclaims that the JLI are gonna get killed. Overall? Awesome.

Blood Red Dragon #3

I'm sure I say this every month, but considering that I remember when "Stan Lee Presents…" usually only preceded really terrible straight-to-DVD movies based on made-up (and lame) characters, this is a huge step up.
I was sort of worried that the entire issue would be recap/backstory…the issue starts out that way, but it's quick about it before returning to Oblivion's invasion of Earth.
Yoshiki fires up his Dragon powers by humming a song. I love this since Yoshiki's, y'know, a musician. Also, he succumbs to The Dragon's light and I swear he literally doubles in size (which I have no problem with because…know what? It looks pretty awesome).
The story wraps up nice, neat, and fast. All I can say is…it feels a little too fast, a little too convenient. I think this could have been split into two issues and paced out a little better, but I can only assume the objective was to get past the "pilot" phase of the book and establish the new status quo quickly.

Green Arrow #5

Gotta say…when I was told GA would be fighting a guy named Midas in this issue…I certainly wasn't expecting a third-tier Solomon Grundy knock-off (and, just saying, Ollie already fought Grundy in a spectacular fight in Brad Meltzer's "The Archer's Quest" storyline (sorry).
Overall…I liked this issue, but it's far from my favorite. I think part of my problem is that Midas feels like a misplaced character, like an idea accidentally swapped offices with Swamp Thing (maybe next issue of Swamp Thing we'll suddenly see Alec head to Japan and team up with Black Canary?). Also, the character design feels very out-of-place. I could go on and on, but hopefully you get my point.

Action Comics #5

Umm…Brainiac (I think) narrates a bedtime story of how Kal-El came to Earth, what's been going on with his spaceship and…I'll be honest, this is a real head-scratcher of an issue. If anyone can explain to me what I just read, feel free to clue me in.

That's all for this week, kids. I'll see you back here next week, same Peach time, same Peach channel!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 038

2011-12-29T20:45:00.000-05:00

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Hey hey hey. After a good night's rest, I'm feeling much better. Now on with the comic reviews!

Warning: spoilers

Marvel Holiday Special

Okay, I'm a few weeks late on this one…but hey, it's the thought that counts!
The four short stories were cute 'n all, but…honestly, there's not too much for me to say. I think the stories got better as they went along, culminating in a very special story catching up with The Thing on Christmas day.

Teen Titans #4

This book continues to defy expectations with a good, old-fashioned superhero slugfest between Wonder Girl and Superboy.
Miguel continues to be awesome in every scene he's in, easily stealing the "comic relief" role from Kid Flash (on a side note, I'd love to see a scene with those two bantering…it would probably fill an entire issue).
The issue ends on our first big, epic team splash page and, I gotta say, they really earned this one. This book simply amazed me at its continued awesomeness and I can't wait until next month's issue.
All that praise being said…I was not too wild about how Superboy looked in this issue. On Superboy, he seems to be more of a toned, lean figure, but in Teen Titans his shoulders got broadened out and he looks just a smidge more like a brawler. Also, for the life of me I cannot figure out why Wonder Girl spends the first few pages cosplaying as Dazzler.

The Fury of Firestorm #4

I keep enjoying this book and I still think it's a diamond in the rough, but after this week's stellar issue of Teen Titans, all I could think about was how cool a Firestorm/Teen Titans crossover would be…

Justice League Dark #4

Know what? I give this book a lot of flack, but I'm going to assume the "Constantine eating cold baked beans" is a Watchmen reference and give them a few free points.
On the other hand…this book continues to have the etherial quality of having a friend tell you about a dream they can't quite make sense of. Which, considering the magic subject matter, isn't all bad. I think I'm still waiting for the team to come together and earn that "Justice League" title on the cover.

The Savage Hawkman #4

Well, this issue brought the Morphicus arc to a…rather abrupt close. There's not much more to say other than "yup. That happened." Also, the James Bond villain I kept complaining about? I think he's taken care of, too, which surprises me, since I thought we were setting him up to be Hawkman's Lex Luthor.
We get a cliffhanger tease of next month's issue with Carter apparently seeing dead people or...seeing normal people who look like zombies or something. All I have to say is…if anyone deserves to have some sort of death-related power, it's Mr. "I've-died-more-times-than-any-of-you."

Superman #4

The cover: eww. I hate bugs and it looks like Supes shares the feeling.
This issue was…weird, and at least it's building to a conclusion (maybe?) next month.
Overall, this issue felt reminiscent of John Arcudi's run on Superman in DC's Wednesday Comics.

Kirby: Genesis - Captain Victory #2

It might sound a bit boring, but this month's issue was a really interesting character piece on the weight of command. Might not be for everyone, but I dug it (of course, I'm also a self-proclaimed Kirby: Genesis fanboy).

Aquaman #4

Aquaman goes and pulls a Doctor Who by proclaiming "I'm sorry" and then genociding the heck out of The Trench (and I'm sure we'll ne-e-ever hear from them again)
Also, Aquaman can fly now? I assume it's a super-leap justified by his physiology allowing him to survive in the ocean depths but…it's a one-panel thing that happens WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION, hence my question mark up there.
D'aww, Aquaman got a pet dog…isn't that adorable? Also, I want him to have regularly-occuring team-ups with Ace the Bat-Hound in…one of the four books Batman has nowadays (assuming Ace is still canon…if not, re-introduce Ace).

Well, that's all for this week, everybody. Have a happy and safe new year's and I'll see all of you in 2012!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 037

2011-12-22T00:00:00.001-05:00

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Good morning, Destroyers!

So...in case you were wondering, there won't be a Peach the Destroyer Christmas special this year. Mostly because after last week's, let's be honest, sub-par issue, I really wanted to ratchet things up this week and get some tension building. Hopefully you guys like this week's issue, because I'm really proud of it.

Anyway, on to comic reviews! Standard warning: here be (some) spoilers!

Kirby: Genesis - Silver Star #2

I missed out on this one last week (protip: if you're going to read several tie-in stories/serieses, go ahead and add the titles separately; don't always count on your shop to assume you want all the things)
We get to find out Silver Star's hobby: building Earths. Apparently he and his lady love Norma made them as a series of trial-and-error tests to see if it was possible to solve all of Earth's problems, but mankind always found something new to squabble about to push themselves towards armageddon. The interesting idea is that Silver Star says they learned the correct balance of intervention and applied it to the real world. So the next time you complain why Superman doesn't just go ahead and solve the rest of our problems, just look to this comic for your answer.
I'm not 100% positive, but I think this issue confirmed my "Silver Star = Captain America" theory…because we met one of his villains, who seems to be North Korea's answer to Red Skull.
Speaking of villains, there's a great 3-page bit where Silver Star checks in on some of his old nemeses to find Norma. All this scene does is make me want to see these guys hatch their own evil plots. Seriously, there's some great, albeit messed up, character design work going on.

Wonder Woman #4

I love whoever's been handling the covers on Wonder Woman lately. There's this great raw, graffiti-like look to them that just pops. It also makes me like the less-than-inspired Wonder Woman logo (seriously, what is it with the logo on most of the new 52?)
We got to check in on our deity characters Apollo and Hera this week…it's been a real slow-burn arc so far (if my memory's correct, we haven't seen either of these characters since issue #1) and, believe it or not, I'm actually kind of enjoying it.

The Bionic Man #5

Woo! Now that Steve Rogers is bionic, we're putting him out in the field! The first two pages consist of a standard mission briefing, with the phrase "low-impact, danger-free field test" being used. If you're wondering, Steve lasts 9 pages before things get bad and a full 12 pages before things get off-the-rails crazy.
This month's issue was some rock-solid spy action with a great fight scene thrown in at the end (and the promise that this was just a lead-in to next month's fight!). If this is the direction the book's headed in from here on out, I'm in.

Birds of Prey #4

After getting out of a tight spot and finding themselves in way over their heads, the Birds finally make good on the tease we've all been looking forward to since this book started: Batgirl shows up! Seriously, this team-up felt so natural it took me a while to realize the "and now…Batgirl!" tagline on the cover was actually a big deal.
Umm…the ending of this issue makes me realize that the Birds' inviso-enemies are, in actuality, The Silence from the latest season of Doctor Who (I apologize about the video being kind of lame, but I wanted something that could work if you had no clue what I was talking about and that was the best I could do on short notice).

Supergirl #4

Aww, man. We just introduced and killed a cool new character in the span of four pages. RIP Jacobs…dude had potential.
This issue is just non-stop action as Kara tears the evil space-base apart, gets her costume back, and blows the dang place up. It's still weird because Kara doesn't understand English and the humans in the comic don't understand Kryptonian, so the reader's the only one who "gets" the full conversation. I hope Kara gets her learn on quickly for nothing else than the fact that it would make future plots a bit easier for her.

Justice League #4

Oh, Aquaman. Even in the past, nobody gave you respect. Except Wonder Woman.
Hey…remember how everyone calls Aquaman "that guy who talks to fish"? Yeah…he uses that to summon sharks who jump up and eat parademons out of the sky. So show a little respect.
Darkseid comes to Earth (it's issue 4…this seems like it might be too early for you to make your presence known there, Darkseid) and, because his presence is just too awesome for a single page, he takes up two back-to-back 2-page splash pages. Granted, he doesn't really do much other than…show up, but it's Darkseid! Next month's gonna be awesome!

Well, that wraps things up this week. Have a merry Christmas, drive safe, and I'll see you back here next week!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 036

2011-12-15T00:00:00.002-05:00

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Good morning, my adoring Destroyers!

Not much I can add to this week's issue…other than, wow, what a cliffhanger, eh? What kind of trouble has Bobby led our little band of heroes into now? Tune in next week to find out!

Oh, also, I'd just like to point out that Peach's line in today's comic isn't my usual "let's point out the writer/artist's plot holes/flaws in a meta fashion." Oh no. This is legitimate plot development here, trust me.

Anyway, before I reveal too much of my hand, on to this week's comic book reviews!

[Standard disclaimer: possible spoilers. You've been warned]

Justice League International #4

My comic book shop had this one on backorder last week, so I didn't get a chance to review it then.
The JLI team, continuing their plucky trial-by-fire inaugural arc, gets captured by Peraxxus, the villain I've been lovingly referring to as "DC Galactus." Fortunately (for me, anyway), he changed hats to something a little less "I stole this from the devourer of worlds" (I'm sorry, I may be mis-remembering, but I swear in the splash page we first saw him on, he straight-up stole Galactus' hat).
Also, Guy Gardner…kind of re-joins the team? In the sense that he's now in the same place as the JLI. By the way, it's a minor thing, but surprisingly, I find it harder to take Guy seriously without the stupid bowl cut.
Oh, by the way, Peraxxus fires up his stolen doomsday robots to 'splode the Earth so he can pillage resources…so it's a little like Die Hard in space.

Batgirl #4

I loved the opening of this issue. Barbara has a "survivor's guilt" dream. This would be interesting enough, but throwing in The Mirror as a looming specter in the dream was downright creepy. Getting to see the inner workings of Barbara's head like this is what really intrigues me about this book and is going to keep me coming back month after month.
Another great aspect of this issue, and Gail Simone's writing on this title overall, is seeing Barbara tackle a problem as a detective. Barbara's inner monologue is a joy to read in this issue as she plots how she'll take The Mirror down.
My only--only--problem with this issue is that, as near as I can tell, this is it for the Mirror. I know I've complained about his plot dragging, but I kind of thought we had further to go. Was he the person coming up with the list? If not, who was supplying him with information? How deep could such a conspiracy go? I also had a problem that Barbara conveniently mentioned her mother walking out in the same issue she returned in, but I can let a minor nitpick slide in an issue this strong.

Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #4

First thing's first: this cover art is beautiful. Keep the old-Hollywood style covers on this book, DC, and I'll be a fan for life.
While I enjoy the book in a "monsters vs monsters slugfest" kind of way (and don't get me wrong, the creature design is disgustingly amazing), I have a real problem connecting with the characters as opposed to the top-notch interplay in, say, Justice League International. Maybe time will help these characters grow on me, who knows.
Our resident vampire and werewolf (see? I have a real problem with names in this comic) take a jab at Marvel with this dialogue during their last-ditch Hail Mary of a plan: "I feel like we should have a nickname for this…like it's our patented move…the 'furball special' or something like that…" For all my complaints, stuff like that will make me love this book just a little bit more.

Superboy #4

Superboy's granted freedom by a new guy at N.O.W.H.E.R.E. and heads to New York, where he pouts, throws a hissy fit at carolers, and burns down a Christmas tree. I want him to team up with Damian "Robin" Wayne. I think it'd be fun.
Superboy also runs into a superpowered Bonnie and Clyde couple and does the right thing and puts a stop to them…and then promptly calls N.O.W.H.E.R.E. and says he'll gladly be their lapdog. Now…does this sound like it was staged to anyone else or is it just me? Read the issue and come back for discussion. I'll wait.

The Ray #1 of 4

Oh man was this one good. Seriously. Pick it up, you will not be disappointed. From page 1 straight to the end, this is everything that is good about DC comics distilled into one issue. Just try to read this one without cracking a smile.

Snarked #3

Is there anything left to be said about this book? Go. Buy it. Right now. Much like with The Ray, you'll be pleased.

Well, that's all for this week, kids. I'll see you next Thursday!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 035

2011-12-08T00:00:00.005-05:00

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Good morning, brave Destroyers everywhere!

Okay, this week's comic is just a little bit of self-indulgence. I originally had the last line delivered by Mittens, but I decided that, if any character gets to quote Ghostbusters, it's going to be my cat. Yes, nepotism still works even when it's a cat.

Now, on to our spoilertastic comic reviews!

Green Arrow #4

Know what? Four issues in, Ollie's perpetual 5 o'clock shadow's starting to bother me. Give this man his facial hair, darnit!
Just as Jamie predicted last month, the "Green Arrow goes to Japan!" arc seems to have been another casualty of J.T. Krull leaving this book
"So, when do I find out what this was all about?" "You don't." Finally, a supervillain who understands not to lay all your cards out on the table!
This was a solid "bridge" issue, with new characters and scenarios getting set up. I liked seeing Ollie trying to actually be the corporate bigwig he's supposed to be and the hints of our new mastermind, Midas, seem interesting. Less interesting (to me, anyway) is the idea of Q Core going after the gaming market as a form of virtually beta-testing new Green Arrow tech. It just felt tacked on and seemed like a way to say "hey, remember Jax? Yeah, he's doing this now!" Of course, since it felt so tacked on, it'll probably be integral to the plot…

Swamp Thing #4

Kids in horror stories are either annoying or terrifying. William, our harbinger-of-death child villain, is the latter
Remember how I cursed the overly-expository issue #2? There is more exposition here, but I think it's handled better. Maybe it's because the ads seem to have been concentrated in that section to help break it up, but it felt a lot more natural (no pun intended)
There was also this page at the end of the exposition dump…whoever's in charge of the layouts really earns their pay in the acid trip-y sections of this book

Action Comics #4

Okay, I seem to be in a minority as far as comic book reviewers in that I'm digging Action Comics (maybe it's because I watched all 10 seasons of Smallville, who knows), but I have to get my nerd rage on about one thing: "Terminauts?" Really?! That's the name we're going to give the "I AM MADE OF TOASTERS!" killer robots?
Umm…Brainiac's apparently been watching the Lost in Space movie one too many times (seriously…if absolutely anyone can explain the giant spiders, please do so)
This issue begins the back-up stories starring John Henry Irons' Steel and, considering I never really followed him, this story had me rooting for him 100% in just over a page. Plus, he has a sledgehammer. You have to respect someone willing to pull superheroics with a sledgehammer.

Blood Red Dragon #2

I'll be honest…this book is just pure fun. Dragon & Company fight a freaking invasion this time around!

Stormwatch #4

I…guess this issue ends the current "wackiness from the moon" arc? It's hard to say. Surely we're not 100% done with it, but the book's headed in the tried-and-true "we must put [character X] on trial for [reason Y (no pun intended there)]" plot…which I would like to see.

Voltron #1

That's right, people. Voltron's back. And this time…it's personal
This book was just...violently over-decompressed (which may be surprising to hear from me considering what most critics are saying about Geoff Johns' run on Justice League compared to my monthly praise). I could bet good money that this and whatever the heck happens in issue 2 could easily have been condensed into one issue if someone had been willing to give the script another round of edits.

Avenging Spider-Man #2

Okay, so get this: you've got J. Jonah Jameson, mayor of New York City, staring down the new monster villain ruler of the underground, and what does he tell the guy? "You got something to say to J. Jonah Jameson, you do it in ENGLISH!" Jameson for president in 2012. I'd vote for him.
Oh, and then Jameson challenges the monster villain ruler for the throne. Seriously, this book should've just been called Jocular J. Jonah Jameson.
Eww, Red Hulk bleeds orange? Gross.

Galaxy Man #1-3

We're ending on something a little different this week: the comic created by Kyle Puttkammer, owner of my (semi) local comic book shop, Galactic Quest.Galaxy Man has all the great fingerprints of a character created by comic book fans for comic book fans young and old alike. There's a character drawn to look like Jack Kirby. An alien mistakes Stanley's name for "Stan-Lee." And that's not counting the obligatory Twilight Zone reference or not-so-subtle nods to comic book cliches. I also enjoyed things like Galaxy Man's naivete (he never realizes his sidekick is his own daughter) and that Galaxy Man's origin is told through his daughter's perspective (which adds another layer of innocence to the tale). Plus, there's a granny who's a pro wrestling fan! Seriously, if that's not comedy gold, I don't know what is! This book is an absolute joy to read and a real local gem. If you're feeling up to it, you can buy the comic off their official site (note: I am in no way officially affiliated with Galactic Quest, Galaxy Man, or anyone involved).

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 034

2011-12-01T00:00:00.001-05:00

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Good morning, Destroyers!

Not much to say this week other than, hey, tunnels. I promise they won't be slogging through them as long as they did in the Prague story arc.

Comic book selection was fairly light today, with only one book coming out (excluding the fact that I'm now another issue behind on Super Dinosaur…I swear one day I'll catch up!)

Flash Gordon: Zeitgeist

Oh, man is this thing fun. Things kick off with quoting the opening dialogue from Queen's Flash's Theme, which automatically made it a win in my book. From there, we go on a rollicking 1930's action-adventure that feels familiar to anyone who's at least watched an Indiana Jones movie…except there's a freaking rocket ship! And an alien planet! And Hitler's totally gonna be all up in this comic!…or at least I assume he is…he's all over the 50 billion covers available for this issue.Seriously, awesome book. Check it out.

That's all we've got this week, kids. I'll see you next Thursday!

Peach the Destroyer: Thanksgiving Special 2011

2011-11-24T00:00:00.001-05:00

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Good morning, Destroyers!

A very special Thanksgiving good morning to you, Destroyer fans! Unless, of course, you're not from America, in which case, feel free to replace "Thanksgiving" with "Thursday."

Clearly, there's not much to say about today's issue. Just having a little bit of fun for you guys for the holiday. Anyway, just because Peach and company have a break from fighting the devil monkey hordes doesn't mean I get off so easy…I've still got comic reviews for you lucky folk!

Savage Hawkman #3

The…nameless egg aliens who imprisoned Morphicus/Fake Venom have the worst security system ever. It's only triggered by Nth metal and, therefore, only plays its holographic message AFTER Morphicus/Fake Venom was released! And then it exploded.
"Rid my lab of this bird man!" "Gladly!" Somebody got paid to write this dialogue. Seriously.
On a more serious note…I like our incredibly over-the-top villain, Hogarth Kane. First off, Hogarth?! Clearly someone wasn't loved as a child. Second, he absolutely refuses to do anything half-way. Just look at his over-the-top James Bond fortress. If I were Hawkman and had that eyesore in my skyline, I'd just say "something evil's going down? Hmm…my keen detective powers tell me maybe that guy had something to do with it." In fact, I hope that exact dialogue is used in a future issue. DC, I'll be waiting for my check.

Aquaman #3

I'm calling it: The Trench are officially the best new villain of DC's New 52 (and I haven't even read all the new titles, so yes, I'm biased). These things are vicious, brutal, and more than a little unnerving.
Okay, expanding on that point, we have a Guillermo del Toro-esque autopsy scene in this issue when Aquaman takes a Trench body to an old friend of his dad's. I get the distinct impression Geoff Johns researched the heck out of all kinds of terrifying deep-sea creatures and morphed them all into a singular nightmare.

Superman #3

I really liked the slow-burn opening in this issue, especially the opening (with a huge honkin' anvil of an homage to the old "Superman: strange visitor from the planet Krypton who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men" radio opening.
One thing that stood out to me (and pardon me if I just ignored this in previous issues) is Superman feels really cerebral now. I always used to chalk him up to "punch the bad guy until it can't be punched no more" (and yes, I am kind of sorry for that), so it's really cool to see him work his way through a problem.
My only complaint: in true DC Comics fashion, we get a reference to a past event in another comic…the only problem is that event won't happen for us faithful readers for two more weeks in Action Comics #4. Granted, this was a one-panel reference that served as a teaser to Action Comics more than anything else, but it just grates on me…

Justice League Dark #3

Well, we have team members slowly joining together, so maybe I'll start having less to complain about…
Yes, the shot of Zatanna in a bra was completely necessary and justified and in no way gratuitous whatsoever. End sarcasm. Now when can we get her to stop wearing clubwear and start wearing an actual costume again?
Much like Swamp Thing #3, I turned the page and all of a sudden it felt like I was reading a different book. In this instance, it felt like Neil Gaiman's Sandman, and unfortunately I don't mean that as a compliment. See, I likes me some Sandman, don't get me wrong, but there's a very particular mindset I need for it and trolling through the DC Universe usually isn't it.
Also, this page was gross as heck. Fortunately, we move on and everything seems a-okay.
No. No, DC. You do not get to dump your own comic book covers in as comic book covers in-universe. Especially not DEADMAN AND THE FLYING GRAYSONS WHEN HE'S STARRING IN THIS COMIC! Bad DC. Bad. No brownie for you.

Teen Titans #3

Speaking of teams coming together, a whole lot happens in this issue.
We're introduced to the new character Bunker, who had turned me off when he was announced. It wasn't that he's gay, I don't care about that. I cared that, at least in the initial preview I read, he was pretty darn flaming and I was worried DC might get under fire (totally no pun intended. Honest.) by one group or another. Fortunately, Bunker was freaking hilarious and I'm proud to say that my reaction to him was much like my reaction to Teen Titans as a whole: I came in with low expectations and a vaguely bad feeling and was pleasantly surprised.
We also meet Detritus who…explains his entire backstory in one panel. As much as I hope we'll never see him again, he was only around for a single page, so I'm sure he'll be back.

The Fury of Firestorm #3

This is one of the more surprisingly dark books on my pull list…and I'm still surprised every month.
This issue felt vaguely reminiscent of the old JLU episode Patriot Act, but that was probably just me.

That's all for this week, kids. Again, happy Thanksgiving/Thursday and I'll see you next week!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 033

2011-11-17T00:00:00.001-05:00

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Good morning, Destroyers!

It's been a while since Mittens did something dumb. I kinda missed that about him.

That's all I have to say about this week's comics. Onto comic books (warning: spoilers).

By the way, I decided to try ranking each book this week. It might stick, it might not. I'm not sure.

The Bionic Man #4 (10/10)

Hands down, best book of the week.
All three of my previous reviews whined about how Steve wasn't bionic yet…this issue was where Kevin Smith and Phil Hester threw up their hands and said "you want bionic? You'll friggin' get bionic!" This issue has Max the bionic dog (from the 3-season spin-off The Bionic Woman) in a cameo, the freaking "we can rebuild him" voiceover (modified to remind us that there's still an overarching plot we need to worry about), and they even worked in the "nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh" sound effect! It's a comic book and they still bothered to put it in there! Comic of the year material right there. Oh, and yes, he wears the red track suit. After this much gushing, are you surprised?
If you were on the fence about this book before…just try this issue. If you like it, hey, it's only three back issues to pick up.
No, seriously, you should be reading this.

Justice League #3 (9/10)

Young, brash Diana/Wonder Woman is a real joy to read. She looks like she's giving 100% in everything she's doing, from praising ice cream to slaughtering Parademons.
We FINALLY get to see the birth of Cyborg and it's exactly as painful as you'd expect such an origin to be (with the added punch of Apokoliptic visions and a tease of Darkseid).
This felt like a fantastic slice out of an action movie (I can imagine panels of this issue being used to pitch a new Justice League movie to WB, for example), and I am loving the slow formation of the team…but I am starting to see where people are coming from about it being a fast read and not feeling like it's worth the $3.99 price tag. However, it doesn't bother me and I still get a kick out of it.

Supergirl #3 (9/10)

So…it wasn't Lex Luthor we saw at the end of the last issue. It was a new guy who I will lovingly refer to as either Kara's Lex Luthor (I'm assuming he'll be a mainstay) or Snooty McBritish (you can tell he's British because at one point he goes off on a hissy fit that's basically "stupid Americans with your cheeseburgers and your 'French fries…'"). He's fun. I like him as a villain.
Not too much to say…this is a fun ride, though, so you should be checking it out if you're a fan of the Super family.

Kirby: Genesis!: Captain Victory #1 (9/10)

Another awesome addition to the Kirby: Genesis family of books (this one seems to be an Orion analogue, for you playing along at home).
There are a lot of great visual touches in this book, from the freaking lion-dude from the cover to the "shadow"-possessed civilians (who reminded me a little bit of the water zombies from Doctor Who: Waters of Mars).
I thought this would be a light, rollicking space adventure, but nope, turns out this book will basically be asking how long someone can fight darkness before becoming it, which officially makes it better than Star Wars: The Clone Wars (sorry, but that entire cartoon is just propaganda for the dark side. You know it in your heart to be true).

Wonder Woman #3 (8/10)

Picking up on last month, this issue shows us the aftermath of what I'm just going to call "The Battle of Paradise Island" for now.
Okay…it's real hard for me to talk about anything other than…the biggest plot point in this comic, so skip down if you're a spoilerphobe, but I'm still on the fence about Diana's new origin. Turns out she wasn't made of clay and Zeus didn't even strike the clay with a thunderbolt to gift her with life. Nope, Hippolyta (Diana's mom) and Zeus had a thing back in the day and Zeus became a baby daddy. While I like that we've got this whole new conspiracy/"I was trying to protect you" thing, I think such a sudden change is kinda bugging me. We'll see where it leads…
Ending the issue on a positive note, Diana leaves Paradise Island in a self-proclaimed exile, which works better than "mommy's angry at me" or whatever the old reason was
A quick note on the artwork: I love that all the Amazons (Diana and Hippolyta included) have broad shoulders and actually look like Amazons capable of beating anyone in a fight. Still don't understand why Wonder Woman wears heels, though…

Birds of Prey #3 (7/10)

So…yeah. Turns out Poison Ivy can actually work on a team book. Who knew?
I don't really have a whole lot to say about this book. It was still good, but I think I'm starting to worry that this story arc might run on too long. When Green Arrow #3 came out earlier this month, I thought it was a sign that DC was wrapping up their first arcs and would be pushing towards new ones, but clearly I was way off.
Stick with this book if you've been reading it so far. It might just be my initial impression on this issue (wow that's some alliteration there) is way off-base.

House of Night #1 (6/10)

This was…solid. Not what I was expecting from a vampire--err, excuse me, vampyre book…lots of supernatural high school hijinks.
That being said, it turns out this is a tie-in to a novel series, which, while I thought it stood on its own well enough, does explain the apparent lack of a first act.
Conversely…it's $1. Try it if you're interested.

That's all for this week, kids. If you don't hear from me next week, it's because Minecraft leaves beta and the 1.0 release is Friday, so expect that to eat up a ton of my time (sorry in advance).

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 032

2011-11-10T00:00:00.005-05:00

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Good morning, Destroyers!

So…yeah. For a webcomic that's all about cats fighting/destroying monsters, I'm usually pretty terrified of showing any real action/fighting. But…I think this might just be the best fight scene we've had so far. And, God help me, next week looks like we're in for more. ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!

The Devil Monkeys…enh, I like the head, but I think the body could use a little work. The problem with researching Devil Monkeys is…there's not a whole lot to go on. There's this mugshot-looking sketch I had (which I based the head off of) and one supposed photograph of one (it's basically been debunked as being a barking dog), so I had lots of room to play. Who knows, maybe we'll see some variation next week…and especially when we meet the dreaded mothermonkey.

So anyway, on to comic book reviews! Kids still dig that kind of thing, right?

Avenging Spider-Man #1

What? What? WHAT?! A Marvel book?! Yeah, I'm not saying I'm a hardcore DC fanboy, but let's just say I'm still a little sore over the whole One More Day debacle.That being said, Avenging Spider-Man is the kind of book I can get behind. It's light on continuity (what's going on with the Avengers? Who cares, they're good guys, the giant robot's evil. Got it) and heavy on fun. Also, when did Red Hulk become a decent character?This book reads in a great, stylized, kinetic manner that makes it super easy to pick up, regardless of how much or little you know about the characters. However…I have one excruciatingly nitty nit to pick. Who was in charge of the layouts? Who thought a 2-page spread was necessary for the credits? Seriously (you might not be able to tell, but I'm trying to give my "disapproving" look here). But anyway, good comic. Check it out.

Batgirl #3

Okay, this book started out being a little…divisive for me. On one hand, the beginning really shocked me and almost turned me off the book, but on the other, Nightwing suddenly showed up and the issue almost felt like flirty filler by the end. At first, I felt kind of annoyed, but the appearance of Nightwing let us have some good character moments with Barbara/Batgirl in-costume. Also, new this issue (as far as my memory can tell) is the looming threat that Barbara might wind up back in the wheelchair if she's not careful, as she should be taking her time adjusting to her still-somewhat-new status as a non-paraplegic. I think I like that as a looming threat simply because it's not supervillain-related. Overall, this was a good character piece that helped push Batgirl forward.

Frankenstein, Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #3

I love this book. Like I said before about Swamp Thing, this is a great testament to the variety in The New 52…there are weird, dark little corners where friggin' Frankenstein, a werewolf, a mummy, a vampire, a sort-of-sea-monster, and Frankenstein's ex-wife spend an issue fighting a giant spider (apparently Jon Peters worked on this comic). Then the spider eats Frankenstein. Then Frankenstein…seems to punch the spider's brain out through its stomach. Yeah. This happened. This is a comic someone got paid to write and you can buy it and it's pretty glorious from this grindhouse Hammer horror perspective.

Kirby: Genesis! Silver Star #1

Hey, look! Someone at Dynamite was listening when I said Jack Kirby's legacy could fuel a whole slew of comic books (and this is the first of many spin-offs. Yes, I'm happy). This issue is an epic ton of ground-laying that I basically love. I'm not sure exactly how this fits in with Kirby: Genesis' chronology (I'm firmly taking the late Dwayne McDuffie's "every [comic] has its own, individual continuity" answer on this one until I'm told otherwise, thank you), but it intrigues me because it seems like this book will be a character study on what a lifetime of war and superpowers does to a person.

Superboy #3

This is sort of the climax to last month's issue and…maybe if they'd tweaked the script a bit, this story could've been told in one month instead of two.Anyway, plotting issues aside, this was another solid entry into our new Superboy. He got to get out and about, see the world, discover a little bit more about himself, and hey, next month promises answers! Good read, but there art's starting to look a tad wonky…especially that last page (and that's not even getting into the plot problems that become apparent when you start to analyze it).

Well, I think that about wraps things up for us this week. I'll see you next Thursday, everyone. Remember to bring your friends!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 031

2011-11-03T06:00:00.001-04:00

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Good morning, Destroyers everywhere!

Really not much to say about this week's comic...we're basically in exposition mode to set up next week's issue, which looks like it'll be pretty awesome, right? Anyway, on to the weekly comic reviews...

Action Comics #3

I love this comic. I may have said it before, but all the hype DC put into Justice League #1 should have easily been put into this title. Grant Morrison hit his stride in issue #2 and this 100% builds on it. We get to see a brand new threat come in from multiple points and, as good as this issue was, #4 looks like it's shaping up to be a doozie…

Blood Red Dragon #1

I'm still surprised that, of all books, Blood Red Dragon is one of the ones I look forward to the most. Seriously, if you read manga and Western comics, you owe it to yourself to read this. Feel free to skip issue #0 if your comic shop can't get ahold of it…issue #1 is just as accessible without it (though you are shortchanging yourself some gorgeous artwork). While we're still in "exposition/setup" mode, it's automatically forgivable since this is issue #1 and our titular Dragon gets thrown into a trial by fire by the issue's end.

Green Arrow #3

Okay, watch out because it's Joe and it's a new issue of Green Arrow. I love this book because it feels very "cinematic" to me. It's real easy for me to sit down with an issue like I would a DVD and get wrapped up in another rollicking GA adventure. That being said, I hadn't been too keen on what the solicits kept referring to as "the Jersey Shore of super villains." It's bad enough I know what Jersey Shore is…don't let it invade my comics, please. Fortunately, not only does this story wrap up, we also get bleeding heart liberal Oliver Queen speechifying and condemning reality television. God bless you, Oliver Queen. May the nation heed your call.
…however…there are some growing pains going on in the DC offices and one of them is the loss of JT Krul as writer of Green Arrow. This means the Black Canary team-up we were promised last month? Nowhere to be found, and Oliver uses a sonic attack arrow at one point…blatant last-minute swap or coincidence. Discuss in the comments.

Justice League International #3

I love everything about this book. If you absolutely, positively have to read only one Justice League book…make it this one. You won't be disappointed.

Peanuts #0

This book could have easily gone either way. It could have been a classic…or it could have been like those lame fake Charlie Brown cartoons TV stations try to pawn off on us every year after the Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas specials air so they can fill up an hour of programming.
Fortunately, Peanuts #0 delivered. I think part of what worked in its favor is it tells a few short stories broken up by classic Charles Schulz strips. The end result feels very satisfying and you get to touch base with several characters instead of just following one for 20+ pages.

Snarked! #2

Roger Langridge continues to knock it out of the park with Snarked! The way he constructs his prose and dialogue is absolutely superb and is by far the best writing I've seen this week. If you have kids--or even if you don't--you owe it to them to have them read this beautiful book!

Stormwatch #3

Okay, I'm gonna say it: I really like this book. I like that, in the DC Universe, there's a book about an organization that doesn't want the Justice League "bumbling up" their operation. And they're fighting the moon. No, they're not fighting on the moon…they're fighting. The. Moon. It's a glass of Kool-Aid that's at least worth trying.

Swamp Thing #3

All right…this is it. This could have been my final issue of Swamp Thing. And then, literally, I turned the page and it felt like I was reading a Mike Mignolia comic (which automatically gives any book a lot more leeway from me). Yes, there was more exposition, but it was a lot more organic (sorry) than last time. Plus, we have a creepy creepy threat in the form of a child. KIDS ARE CREEPY! So yeah, I'm sticking with this one. I like that there's room for something like this in the DC Universe.

Well, that's all we've got this week, kids. I'll see you next week!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 030

2011-10-27T06:00:00.005-04:00

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Good morning, Destroyers!

So I've re-learned the joys of writing new characters. Entirely my fault, but clearly our cast should have expanded far more than it has by now.

Another lesson I re-learned was something Guillermo del Toro said in the commentary track for Hellboy: if you research anything, eventually you'll find evidence. In my case, I needed something to support Virginia being a supernatural hot spot. Turns out there really is an urban legend about The Gates of Hell and ley lines are all over Virginia (I also stole the idea to research ley lines from del Toro). The Linoge bit is a throwaway reference to Stephen King, which I'll let you research on your own.

And now...on to the comic reviews! WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS!
This week is a mix of bullet-points and paragraphs, depending on which I thought best suited my mini-review for each title...

Aquaman #2

This issue really solidifies Aquaman & Mera as a DC power couple (no pun intended), with great stuff like people referring to Mera as Aquawoman. At one point in the issue, Aquaman looks like he’s about to kill the man when he corrects him.

I love the new villains, the mysterious monsters from the trench and I can actually see them getting some serious mileage in the future...they feel like the Aquaman equivalency of zombies

My only complaint (and it’s more of a nitpick) is that the creatures' dialogue is translated into English throughout the issue. While the cliffhanger would've been pointless without it, there were a few scenes that could have been ratcheted up a notch or two if we didn't know what the creatures were saying (not that they say much, which is why I'm saying this is just a nitpick).

The Fury of Firestorm #2

Okay, I know I picked the first issue up out of curiosity...but I wasn’t expecting this. Jason and Ronnie (our Firestorms) are now on the run from an international special ops team who discredit them to their families as domestic terrorists! This...this is a freaking Firestorm book! I recommend it, it’s a good read and this issue was better paced than the first issue, it’s just...man, I was not expecting one of the darker titles on my pull list to be freaking Firestorm.

Justice League Dark #2

Speaking of dark... (see what I did there?)I’m not saying that the book is “losing” me, but it feels like it has the same problem several people have about Justice League: "When is the team actually going to form? What’s going on? Waah, waah, waah." Maybe I feel the issues here more than Justice League because I’m less familiar with the characters. I freely admit this is just my problem. Watch, next month I'll be singing the book's praises (hey, it worked for Action Comics)This issue focuses on Deadman and Dove’s relationship drama (an aside: in one scene, Dove transforms into her superhero alter ego by saying “Dove.” Does this happen every time she says it? What happens if she tells someone that’s her favorite brand of soap or chocolate? Does she just transform in the middle of the grocery store?) and...I’m sorry, it’s so scattershot I have a little bit of a hard time figuring out what’s going on. And don’t even get me started on Madame Xanadu. Overall? I like the idea, I just want to get everyone on the same page and heading somewhere. Then I’ll probably be on board 100%

Kirby: Genesis #3 & #4

If Aquaman hadn’t come out, these would be my default picks-of-the-week. I love everything about the Genesis concept and it’s just so much fun to see this team playing with Jack Kirby’s box of toys...enough happens in one issue to fill out at least two or three issues of a Marvel or DC book, with enough concepts to cover at least three or four spin-off books. If you’re not reading Genesis, you need to get on board before it’s too late.

The Savage Hawkman #2

NOTE: This review is going to be in two parts, because there were two panels that launched me on a several-minutes-long rant to my wife last night that you, unfortunately, must suffer through as well. But first, the rest of the issue:

I’m really digging this new Hawkman series, and I’ll say that as someone whose experience with the character was mostly from him laughing at Green Arrow’s Batman impression back in Quiver. This series makes him feel easily accessible for the first time in who-knows-how-long as he’s met with new mysteries, plus his wackadoo symbiotic-like costume. I was glad that this issue addressed my one problem from last time: the Nth metal can create weapons at Hawkman’s will, so he’s not stuck with that caveman-looking mace from the last issue. Plus we get to see Carter Hall trying to crack a translation, slowly making this book a bit of a superhero Indiana Jones

And now for the bad...

In the middle of the book, we cut to the N.L.A.S. (Non Lethal Alternative Studies) Building. And I have one question about it: WHO THE HECK DESIGNED THAT THING?! It looks like Superman built a skyscraper using one of those Kryptonian build-a-building crystal (assuming those are still around post-relaunch) and then some architect said "know what? That design's not quite pompous enough…"And then, one panel after seeing that eyesore of architecture, we read about budget cuts and how the N.L.A.S. is on the chopping block…know how you could've avoided that? By not building that blight on the New York skyline (oh, by the way, N.L.A.S. is in Manhattan…probably should've mentioned that). Oh, and of course this is our villain’s hide-out, as if it weren’t obvious enough. Y’know, most supervillains aren’t this over-the-top, they just hollow out a volcano or something. Ugh.

Superman #2

Okay, this was a fun little mystery comic. There’s a little bit of arc-building (using aliens whose dialogue isn’t translated to English for us, but Superman can make out the word “Krypton”...not that I'm telling you how to do your job, Aquaman), but most of the comic is Superman fighting a monster who he can’t see or hear. Other people can see it...for a while, Superman has to go by clues like bystanders saying “why isn’t he doing anything?” to figure stuff out. This was a great example of Superman using his head to solve a problem, which could be said about the last issue, too. I’m more than happy that we’re showcasing the fact that our Man of Steel’s got a brain to go along with that brawn.

Teen Titans #2

I’ll say it: we’re two issues in and a lot of people still owe this one an apology.This book could seriously have no arc, no world-building, and just consist of Tim Drake globe-trotting and righting wrongs and I’d still be on board for it. Speaking of which, he stays at Wonder Girl’s place for the night, leading to the hilarious image of him doing research while sitting under a pretty pretty unicorn painting. With a rainbow. People, if that’s not worth the price of admission alone, I don’t know what is.

That's all for this week, kids. I'll see you next time, same Peach-time, same Peach-channel!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 029

2011-10-20T00:00:00.001-04:00

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Good morning, Destroyers!

Yes, Bobby is blatantly ripped off of Bobby from Supernatural. I knew that going in. I might add a baseball cap to him in future arcs because…well, that'd look funny, wouldn't it?

Anyway, I like this week's issue. It's a little bit of a reveal, a little bit setup. It's a good mix for a comic with three cats talking for six panels. Now on to the comic book reviews!

WARNING! SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT!

*Note: Usually I try to keep everything in order, either by release date or alphabetically…but I'm kinda lazy this week, so it's in the order I read everything*

Wonder Woman #2

First thing's first: When I look at the cover, with it's skinhead fashion model (Strife, introduced this issue) and "GODS DRAW BLOOD" title, for some reason it makes me think this is a particularly gory fashion magazine.
We start with Hera chewing scenery on Mount Olympus and…god, it's that great over-the-top evil that's just a joy to read. The action then moves to Paradise Island, and I think it's a very different feel…it's night, everything's lit by fire, and there's a strong "warrior culture" vibe running through the scenes. Bear in mind, I'm used to animated takes on Paradise Island, but I thought this was a great change of pace. There's also a pretty hilarious double-entendre in one scene that I'm not going to spoil for you.
Okay, now I'm going to talk about the ending. It was announced before this book came out that Wonder Woman was going to have a father, and that father would be Zeus. Now, I'm no Wonder Woman buff, but I thought her origin (mom made her out of clay and the gods brought her to life) was perfect. Simple, to the point, and we moved on. I'd even mentioned to a friend earlier that I wouldn't mind if Zeus was simply the god who bestowed life on the clay Wonder Woman, but that's clearly not the direction we're heading in. My feelings on this shake-up are…mixed. I try to keep an open mind on a lot of things, so I'm obviously hoping for the best, but the pessimist in me is bracing for this being the worst thing to hit Wonder Woman since Amazons Attack.

Justice League #2

I'm sure this book has its detractors, but for me, there's something fun about seeing the dysfunctional family that is the Justice League coming together. Geoff Johns and Jim Lee said that part of the relaunch was that they wanted to create memorable moments (i.e. "you'll remember the first time Flash meets Wonder Woman," etc.), and I can really feel that mentality shining through in Justice League. While it's a fast read, I like the little touches, like Superman's current hideout being an abandoned printing press or the "how much does he eat?" note by a picture of the Flash at Barry Allen's police department (full disclosure: I missed that one until my wife pointed it out to me).
There was also some Watchmen-esque supplemental information with Steve Trevor being grilled by Waller about his botched mission that resulted in him landing on Paradise Island. I liked it, but stuff like this could get old fast, so I'm a little hesitant on it.

Supergirl #2

This was just a good old "two heroes meet up, and a misunderstanding causes them to fight" issue (a bit like Justice League #2, now that I think about it). It also looks like we're getting a nice, slow reveal at Lex Luthor in the present-day timeline, which I approve of (he's also a kind of shadow presence in Justice League, with just a name drop and a few LEXCORP signs).

Birds of Prey #2

Starling's a fun addition to the DC universe. I think it'd be fun to throw her in with some more traditional heroes, just because she's clearly off-kilter. Speaking of off-kilter, did Katana always have a murdered-husband's-soul in her sword? Because I like that as a character trait. Overall, I think this is shaping up to be a really interesting crime-drama series, and if it's used properly, Birds of Prey could showcase a different take on the entire DCU depending on where storylines take them.
Also, exactly how messed up is this team that Poison Ivy gets an invitation?

Bionic Man #3

This chapter's titled "We Can Rebuild Him." We even get a "six million dollar" head nod (although, due to inflation, that's now the daily funding for the operation).
I was originally going to end my review there, with a quick "that should tell you everything you need to know," but it really doesn't. Steve Rogers still isn't bionic (yet), but I honestly don't mind. This was a very strong issue that really made me feel for Steve as a character. In fact, any scrap of reservation I had about this book was gone by the time I got to the end. I don't know when Steve's going to be doing his bionic acts, but now I'm willing to let the story breathe and tell its tale at its own pace.

Stormwatch #1 & #2

I was going to complain about the clunky expository dialogue, but then the moon attacked a guy and I remembered that comics are awesome. By the time issue #2 got started, the tone shifted more-than-slightly to a UNIT-based Doctor Who comic. Unsurprisingly, Stormwatch's writer, Paul Cornell, wrote some pretty dark episodes of Doctor Who (Human Nature and Family of Blood [note: that clip's a tiny bit spoilery, but hopefully I've made at least one person out there interested in Doctor Who]). Cornell's found his Doctor avatar in Adam, a character I can't not read in David Tennant's voice because…well, because.

Anyway, that's all I have to say this week, fanboys and fangirls. I'll see you again next week!