A lot of this comes down to armaments. If the imbeciles have a really good set of blunt weapons they can wield well, they can smash the skeletons apart. Of course they’re too stupid to realize that, so I envision them bringing spears or something. Therefore, advantage skeletons.

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Pirates : Probably drunk, lots of eyepatches (means they have one good eye, hampering depth perception), peg legs (hindering mobility), loud as fuck.

Ninjas : Stealthy assassins. Incredibly agile and sneaky.

Pirates get one edge because they pack firearms, but that’s it. This would be a rout.

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Also, the best collective line is when every hero in every movie sees his woman die and shouts “NOOOOOO!” while raising his fists to the sky like he’s going to punch God. Especially hilarious was Darth Vader doing it at the end of Revenge of the Sith. Craptacular.

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Now, I’ll be the first to admit that the show is uneven. Some of the sketches are goddamn hilarious…like this one!

However, they aren’t all winners. Some scream “FILLER!” from the rooftops, like the Phantom of the Opera. You know, if he was on top of the roof…and shouting about failed comedy bits, rather than plotting to hook up with the the singer chick. That was a horrible analogy. Let this amusing sketch featuring Kool Aid Kool’s more disturbing brother distract you from my ghastly and senseless comparison.

Luckily, when they hit…they hit with a 2 by 4. Kind of reminds me of Kids in the Hall. That was another uneven sketch show, but it was worth sitting through the “Why is this still happening?!” bits to see the winners. Well, except for that whole episode with the story arc about the Queen and a beaver guy and a tabloid journalist all reaching the Arctic. That was pretty lame. But this isn’t!

So…yeah. I’ve run out of things to say. Celebrate!

Of course, Chuck Norris being one of the men is a game changer. He can do it alone IF there’s a nearby pane of glass that he can roundhouse kick the bear through.

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Me – Here (I won’t be counting any content I put up at Tales of Avarice or elsewhere for the purposes of the Challenge)

Brad – Kick me out Soon (Does this title still count when he moves out of the States?)

Chad – The Grind

Kelly – ‘Round the Bend

Kim – In Desperate Need of Entertainment (I just realized that I don’t know if she means she needs entertainment, or if it’s a self deprecating thing where she’s saying anyone going there must be desperate for entertainment)

Kyle – Blog (Yep, that’s really the name)

Liam – In the Now

Shaun – Expedition of Truths

Tammy – Tam I Am

Is that everyone? Have I missed anybody? Does anyone else wish to participate? I’d like to have this nailed down before leaving on Friday, if possible. And feel free to invite other people, if you want. Brad’s in on this because I know him, so you can definitely do the same if you want to. I’d like to keep this somewhat reasonable in size, though.

Finally, anyone have anything else they’d like to bring up? Chad had suggested perhaps using some ‘global topics’ that we would all need to talk about. I suppose we could do a mix of that and the usual ‘write what you want’ stuff. Does that idea interest anybody? If so, what would you prefer :

-Certain topics locked down for certain days that everyone has to talk about on that day.

-Certain topics that everyone has to cover at some point during the Challenge.

Let me know what you think of that idea, or if you have any others you want to suggest. We need to get this nailed down before the weekend, because most of us won’t be around this weekend, so the sooner the better.

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So colour me surprised when I received an email from Facebook today, telling me that it was great that I’d done something with my account. I didn’t. I wouldn’t. But since I was now stuck wondering if someone had hacked in to my account on that shitshow, I now had to just to change my password again. Awesome. This is just goddamn awesome. Begin rage!

I couldn’t even remember my password, so I had to reset it. And that brought my account back to life (again, apparently) like a hideous monster that needs a clip of silver bullets emptied in to it’s face. I don’t even care if it dies, I just want it scarred and savaged and left screaming in a field somewhere.

Page after page of stupid “Here’s what’s different!” garbage before I can finally access my account options. And I go to deactivate (AGAIN!)

I am now shown a screen of a bunch of pictures of people still linked as Friends to my account, with messages of how sad they’d be if I left. At this point, the expletives became fully verbal.

If ANYONE who actually knows me is truly saddened at my removing myself (AGAIN!) from this horrible application, I do not wish to remain friends with you in any capacity at all. I want to cause you pain.

And what the Hell is the point of this? Some sort of weird guilt trip? Attention Mark Zuckerberg…guilt trips typically work because they come from a woman that we want to fuck. You aren’t a woman. I do not wish to be inside of you, aside from my fist driving through you when I deliver a vicious body punch. Enough. Just enough.

This angered me to such a ridiculous extent that I went back and removed every single person who still resided on my friends list. Gone. All gone. Who’s gonna miss me now, Facebook? Who you guilt trippin’ me with NOW? Yes indeed, it was war between myself and a ridiculous app.

Now it’s gone again. I am never coming back. I deleted basically every goddamn link to this mess that I could before killing it (AGAIN). Let me delete it, you douchebag whores.

I couldn’t possibly hate Facebook more. It isn’t possible.

UPDATE : Thanks to Liam, I have killed my account. The Earth has been salted. If you wish to do the same, follow one of the sets of instructions here.

I like Paul Greengrass. He did the Bourne movies, and while they were pale imitations of what the books had on offer, they were still very well done.

I like Matt Damon. Sure I thought The Talented Mr. Ripley was a long and boring tale, but aside from that the guy is goddamn gold.

I hoped this would be an interesting movie. Instead, I got something possessing all the subtlety of a ball peen hammer shot to the face. Whoever wrote this script needs work on the basics in the worst way possible. The entire thing was a predictable story filled with predictable archetype characters. Very disappointing story.

And it’s too bad, because clearly some money was spent to make this work. The back third is actually going in a good direction. Greengrass is awesome at filming action sequences, and there’s a great one. Then it ends with a somewhat easy to see finish and an Iraqi character spouting the line “It is not for you to decide what happens here.” Subtle, writers! Subtle!

And then the final sequence, where the soldier confronts the Greg Kinnear Paul Bremer character is just over the top ham fisted writing at it’s worst. The script consistently lets down the performances, which are actually pretty decent.

Couple this with Crysis, and it has not been a good entertainment weekend for me.

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