tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-213564242012-04-15T18:46:32.565-04:00Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-74328682793675928972009-01-25T10:13:00.005-05:002009-01-25T10:37:11.340-05:00

Penchant Lama today shifted his birthday focus outward. Instead of creating exhaustive lists of presents and distributing them to his friends six months before his birthday (and threatening poop bombs for failure to comply), Penchant has decided to give presents on his birthday. Penchant was inspired by Stillwater, the bear in Zen Shorts. "Stillwater is a close friend of mine, a diplomat, and a

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-30072786461571748012009-01-06T14:56:00.004-05:002009-01-06T15:13:39.701-05:00

Greensboro, NC -- Legendary Greensboro tennis professional Koach Krafty announced his retirement today through his spokesman, Penchant Lama. Krafty taught for 31 years on the hard court off of Pisgah Church and Willoughby Road. He averaged 13 hours of teaching a day, six days a week, for 31 years. 14 times he earned "Community Man of the Year" honors for his work with kids. Krafty rarely

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-44683001209014590462008-12-21T15:07:00.003-05:002008-12-21T15:27:09.948-05:00

Greensboro, NC -- Penchant Lama today denounced New York governor Paterson's recent call for an obesity tax on non-diet soda, claiming the plan is essentially toothless.The governor considered Penchant's more severe "pay per pound" plan but ultimately rejected it based on the machete clause."You got to get these fat people moving," Penchant said. "You got to motivate these people to get off

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-6645467331191915392008-12-17T16:17:00.002-05:002008-12-17T16:28:53.928-05:00

President Bush isn't that bad. I assure you, he is not a bad man, just a victim of circumstance and very poor leadership skills. President Bush did not deserve to have a pair of dirty, smelly shoes thrown at him. In fact, right now, there are lots of people more deserving of a shoe fling than him. Here is my list of people I would love to throw my shoes at!-O.J. Simpson - A true idiot.-The 3

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-79438153119190216772008-12-16T08:00:00.002-05:002008-12-16T11:36:02.296-05:00

Greensboro, NC -- Hello everybody. My name is Penchant Lama, and today I'm going to reveal my top 10 worst Christmas gifts. Here's what you really should avoid buying under all cicumstances:10. A Dyson vacuum cleaner: this gift implies the receiver is a dirty, dirty person.9. The Zone Diet: this gift implies the receiver is an obese person.8. A Billy Blanks TaeBow karate video: this gift implies

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-435462487641894582008-12-11T12:05:00.002-05:002008-12-11T12:17:26.521-05:00

Greensboro, NC -- Tyrice, Penchant Lama's infant, has returned from Permanent Care in Switzerland. Penchant shipped Tyrice overseas in a crate immediately after discovering she was an infant. However, in celebration of the birth of the baby Jesus, Permanent Care sends all of its children to their original homes for two weeks during the Christmas season."Today is the worst day of my life,"

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-17389187689664908142008-11-22T14:55:00.004-05:002008-11-22T15:12:01.674-05:00

Greensboro, NC -- Princess Mu's best friend Chrissy Doll gave birth to baby Jackson Ryan this afternoon. Koach Krafty, Chrissy Doll's dance teacher for 11 years, celebrated the event by throwing a buffet brunch shortly after the birth for the nurses and expecting mothers at the Women's Hospital in Greensboro. Krafty loaded mostly sausages and brie from Naughty's into the Winnie and hauled the

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-87647215234476526552008-11-22T09:00:00.004-05:002008-11-22T09:00:01.664-05:00

Penchant Lama is amazed that you can get pizza in America without going into the restaurant. All you need to do is go to the drive-thru, hand them your money (with your mouth) and wait! Video Web Series: Hilarious Pizza with a Disability Adventure   > Buy this Shirt on Zazzle > Read Penchant's Story! > Return to Penchant

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-39797707250440438862008-11-19T16:00:00.000-05:002008-11-19T16:00:00.842-05:00

Greensboro, NC -- Penchant Lama has been picked to be a handler in next week's Macy's Day Parade in New York City. Penchant was selected from thousands of applicants who auditioned in Central Park last Friday. Penchant has been assigned to the rear left leg of Horton from Dr. Suess's Horton Hears a Who. He is one of 80 handlers of the rear leg."I wanted the trunk," Penchant complained. "But

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-17006806014176423382008-11-15T11:57:00.005-05:002008-11-15T12:15:36.794-05:00

Greensboro, NC -- Big Weight and Margeaux, the Invalid, were hospitalized today within two hours of each other. Margeaux was attacked by neighborhood dogs; Big Weight overdosed on Excedrin, popped on himself, vomited blood, and was rushed to the local hospital."You should definitely be punished if you defecate or upchuck on someone else's furniture," said Penchant Lama. "Who does that?"Big

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-64119505304776125042008-10-31T02:17:00.012-04:002008-11-15T12:18:26.470-05:00

Penchant's celebrates his third year in America today with a Halloween birthday blowout. Penchant arrived in America from Mimjellia just over three years ago, and has declared October his official Birthday Month. We offer the exclusive coverage:2:14am: Stingy wakes from his Love Sac, shuffles to the kitched, eat his 11th taco, drinks a gallon of orange juice, then passes out on the floor.2:19am

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-88378856960072226622008-10-31T02:02:00.007-04:002008-10-31T02:16:43.378-04:00

Penchant Lama and his posse kicked off his pre-birthday celebration last night with an all-you-can-eat taco party at Princess Mu and Tsung Chi's house. Stingy Guru led the way by eating 10 tacos; he suffered from food coma and passed out on his Love Sac at 9:14pm. Penchant's official birthday, Halloween, will mark his third year in the U.S. The day will begin with an all-you-can-eat breakfast

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-13985486172522069152008-10-18T20:54:00.009-04:002008-10-19T14:39:56.403-04:00

New York, NY -- By invitation, Penchant Lama traveled last week to New York City to spend a day with his biggest fans, The Glamazon Girls. The brainchild of Merly "Lady" Finger, who longed to strut her "ass-ets" with other full figured women, The Glamazons were formed in 2001 and rocketed to fame last year with a Top 8 finish on NBC's America's Got Talent; they now perform regularly in New York

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-33051050637363922332008-10-12T09:24:00.003-04:002008-10-12T09:41:17.149-04:00

Penchant Lama revealed today the Mimjellian method of garbanzo bean harvesting: kangaroos! Or what Penchant refers to as “invalids.” The revelation came as Penchant’s baby sister Sophia was coloring a kangaroo in her Winnie the Pooh coloring book.“Invalids are not gray,” Penchant squealed. “They’re blue.”“Invalids?” said Princess Mu. “That’s a kangaroo.”“You call it what you want,” Penchant

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-32076189308956882652008-10-11T13:14:00.004-04:002008-10-12T09:42:40.687-04:00

Penchant Lama has been suspended indefinitely for full body casting a senior citizen in the waiting room of the MW doctor's office, his new place of employment.According to his supervisor, Toshi, Penchant needed a few hours of "practice" before he could cast regular patients. So he scouted the waiting room looking for potential clients."Ma'am, may I provide my casting services to you?" Penchant

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-39045227590064098982008-08-31T11:22:00.008-04:002008-10-12T09:43:17.859-04:00

The 2008 International Wogging Championships were contested yesterday at The Country Park in Greensboro, NC. Wogging? It’s a combination of wogging and jogging. Slogan: “Almost Airborne.” 2008 competitors wogged for exactly one hour; the person who wogged the farthest in each division was the champion wogger for the year. Jitsu Mu before the Wogging Championships modeling her Wogging

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-34975649094235012792008-06-05T21:16:00.007-04:002008-10-12T09:43:35.159-04:00

Koach Krafty and local tennis pro Fat Tom officially have entered into what Penchant Lama has deemed an "epic battle."Krafty, owner of the only indoor tennis center around, this winter rented six courts to Fat Tom, legendary local tennis pro and father of eight. Tom, renowned for his 140 mile per hour serve, fast food consumption, and deliquency record, wrote Krafty three checks of $5,000 each

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-72667136120917128202008-05-26T17:02:00.005-04:002008-10-12T09:43:58.362-04:00

Greensboro, NCPenchant Lama today revealed the source of his popular "Jeez Louise" saying he so often uses when he is surprised or exasperated.Several years ago on Mimjellia, Penchant's home island, a baby girl was born with a supernumery, a extra tooth other than the typical 20 baby teeth. The tooth was lodged in roof of the baby's mouth--which is quite rare--and prompted both the doctor and

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-87993168926407586762008-05-17T20:48:00.005-04:002008-10-12T09:44:21.746-04:00

Right in step with this week's Time magazine article on how to survive the lean economy, Penchant Lama today unveiled his Harris Teeter Rug Doctor plan.With no end in sight for the housing slump, Penchant saw an opportunity to earn money on the "beautifacation" of on-the-market homes. After consulting several real estate experts, he determined that the first impression of a home is its carpets.

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-13568243956812769852008-05-02T09:12:00.005-04:002008-10-12T09:44:42.102-04:00

Penchant Lama's "Wogging for Deep" Campaign, which was originally scheduled for Saturday, May 24 and then moved to tomorrow to coincide with the North Carolina Marathon, has been moved back to its original date. Penchant was hoping the quick switch to May 3 (Penchant announced the date change with a one line, 4pt font add in YES! Weekly) would assure all participates would actually MISS the race,

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-88151443824766630732008-04-13T16:42:00.003-04:002008-04-13T16:49:06.250-04:00

Greensboro, NC -- Penchant Lama and his Posse have launched the “Wogging for Deep” campaign to raise money to support Debra the Trashman, legendary trash refurbisher. Debra’s junk reburbish and resale business, which has flourished in the past 10 years with the boom in the housing market, is teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. People simply aren’t buying and subsequently replacing household

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-56848396145332349882008-04-01T21:48:00.006-04:002008-10-12T09:45:11.045-04:00

Greensboro, NCPenchant Lama’s rendition of the circumstances surrounding his arrival in America came into question today after his manager at McDonald’s conducted a routine background check on his star greeter. During his McDonald’s interview Penchant was asked to describe a situation in which he overcame adversity. Ignoring his own interview tip to decline answering difficult questions,

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-764758937083547072008-04-01T08:25:00.005-04:002008-10-12T09:45:41.874-04:00

Greensboro, NC"Today is April Fools' Day. We do not have this day on Mimjellia. To understand April Fools, someone must first have a terrible joke played on them. On my way to work this morning, Koach Krafty picked me up. He says, 'Penchant Lama, Hallowicious (Krafty's adopted grandmother) is in the hospital.' I said, 'what?' Stingy and Big Weight were in the front seat of the Winnebago

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-23834713659216143942008-03-30T17:25:00.006-04:002008-10-12T09:45:59.909-04:00

Greensboro, NCAfter securing a serving position at McDonald’s and subsequently being promoted to lead greeter, Penchant Lama has released his top 6 interview tips. Penchant Lama would like to credit his mother on Mimjellia, Mama Lama, for a few of these tips. (Note: Penchant offers no advice for how to keep a job; in fact, he was fired from his five previous jobs.)1. Don't eat because of your

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21356424.post-87273421658816535022008-03-28T11:06:00.011-04:002008-10-12T09:46:20.840-04:00

Greensboro, NCFormer president Bill Clinton altered the site of his Greensboro, NC rally yesterday amid reports that Penchant Lama was planning to "licorice whip" him.Clinton, who was scheduled to conduct a democratic rally for his wife Hillary's presidential nomination bid at a local private college, learned of the news yesterday afternoon and moved his rally to the local YMCA.Penchant Lama, who

Penchant Lamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09627099042800131808noreply@blogger.com