Pentru un cuplu foarte fericit - For a very happy couple O8-}

What Mathematics Reveals About the Secret of Lasting Relationships and the Myth of Compromise

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Wed, 3 Jun 2015 10:52:00 -0700

Brain Pickings
by Maria Popova
Why 37% is the magic number, what alien civilizations have to do with your soul mate, and how to master the “negativity threshold” ideal for Happily Ever After.
In his sublime definition of love, playwright Tom Stoppard painted the grand achievement of our emotional lives as “knowledge of each other, not of the flesh but through the flesh, knowledge of self, the real him, the real her, in extremis, the mask slipped from the face.” But only in fairy tales and Hollywood movies does the mask slip off to reveal a perfect other. So how do we learn to discern between a love that is imperfect, as all meaningful real relationships are, and one that is insufficient, the price of which is repeated disappointment and inevitable heartbreak? Making this distinction is one of the greatest and most difficult arts of the human experience — and, it turns out, it can be greatly enhanced with a little bit of science. That’s what mathematician Hannah Fry suggests in The Mathematics of Love: Patterns, Proofs, and the Search for the Ultimate Equation (public library) — a slim but potent volume from TED Books, featuring gorgeous illustrations by German artist Christine Rösch. From the odds of finding your soul mate to how game theory reveals the best strategy for picking up a stranger in a bar to the equation that explains the conversation patterns of lasting relationships, Fry combines a humanist’s sensitivity to this universal longing with a scientist’s rigor to shed light, with neither sap nor cynicism, on the complex dynamics of romance and the besotting beauty of math itself. She writes in the introduction: Mathematics is ultimately the study of patterns — predicting phenomena from the weather to the growth of cities, revealing everything from the laws of the universe to the behavior of subatomic particles… Love — [like] most of life — is full of patterns: from the number of sexual partners we have in our lifetime to how we choose who to message on an internet dating website. These patterns twist and turn and warp and evolve just as love does, and are all patterns which mathematics is uniquely placed to describe. […] Mathematics is the language of nature. It is the foundation stone upon which every major scientific and technological achievement of the modern era has been built. It is alive, and it is thriving. In the first chapter, Fry explores the mathematical odds of finding your ideal mate — with far more heartening results than more jaundiced estimations have yielded. She points to a famous 2010 paper by mathematician and longtime singleton Peter Backus, who calculated that there are more intelligent extraterrestrial civilizations than eligible women for him on earth. Backus enlisted a formula known as the Drake equation — named after its creator, Frank Drake — which breaks down the question of how many possible alien civilizations there are into sub-estimates based on components like the average rate of star formation in our galaxy, the number of those stars with orbiting planets, the fraction of those planets capable of supporting life, and so forth. Fry explains: Drake exploited a trick well known to scientists of breaking down the estimation by making lots of little educated guesses rather than one big one. The result of this trick is an estimate likely to be surprisingly close to the true answer, because the errors in each calculation tend to balance each other out along the way. Scientists’ current estimate is that our galaxy contains around 10,000 intelligent alien civilizations — something we owe in large part to astronomer Jill Tarter’s decades-long dedication. Returning to Backus’s calculation, which yielded 26 eligible women on all of Earth, Fry notes that “being able to estimate quantities that you have no hope of verifying is an important skill for any scientist” — a technique known as a Fermi estimation, which is used in everything from job interviews to quantum mechanics — but suggests that his criteria might have been unreasonably stringent. (Backus based his formula, for instance, on the assumption that he’d find only 10% of the women he meets agreeable and only 5% attractive.) In fact, this “price of admission” problem is also at the heart of a chapter probing the question of how you know your partner is “The One.” Fry writes: As any mathematically minded person will tell you, it’s a fine balance between having the patience to wait for the right person and the foresight to cash in before all the good ones are taken. Indeed, some such mathematically minded people have applied an area of mathematics known as “optimal stopping theory” to derive an actual equation that tells you precisely how many potential mates to reject before finding the perfect partner and helps you discern when it’s time to actually stop your looking and settle down with that person (P): Fry explains: It tells you that if you are destined to date ten people in your lifetime, you have the highest probability of finding The One when you reject your first four lovers (where you’d find them 39.87 percent of the time). If you are destined to date twenty people, you should reject the first eight (where Mister or Miz Right would be waiting for you 38.42 percent of the time). And, if you are destined to date an infinite number of partners, you should reject the first 37 percent, giving you just over a one in three chance of success. […] Say you start dating when you are fifteen years old and would ideally like to settle down by the time you’re forty. In the first 37 percent of your dating window (until just after your twenty-fourth birthday), you should reject everyone; use this time to get a feel for the market and a realistic expectation of what you can expect in a life partner. Once this rejection phase has passed, pick the next person who comes along who is better than everyone who you have met before. Following this strategy will definitely give you the best possible chance of finding the number one partner on your imaginary list. This formula, it turns out, is a cross-purpose antidote to FOMO, applicable to various situations when you need to know when to stop looking for a better option: Have three months to find somewhere to live? Reject everything in the first month and then pick the next house that comes along that is your favorite so far. Hiring an assistant? Reject the first 37 percent of candidates and then give the job to the next one who you prefer above all others. In fact, the search for an assistant is the most famous formulation of this theory, and the method is often known as the “secretary problem.” But the most interesting and pause-giving chapter is the final one, which brings modern lucidity to the fairy-tale myth that “happily ever after” ensues unabated after you’ve identified “The One,” stopped your search, and settled down him or her. Most of us don’t need a scientist to tell us that “happily ever after” is not a destination or a final outcome but a journey and an active process in any healthy relationship. Fry, however, offers some enormously heartening and assuring empirical findings, based on a fascinating collaboration between mathematicians and psychologists, confirming this life-tested and often hard-earned intuitive understanding. Fry examines what psychologists studying longtime couples have found about the key to successful relationships: Every relationship will have conflict, but most psychologists now agree that the way couples argue can differ substantially, and can work as a useful predictor of longer-term happiness within a couple. In relationships where both partners consider themselves as happy, bad behavior is dismissed as unusual: “He’s under a lot of stress at the moment,” or “No wonder she’s grumpy, she hasn’t had a lot of sleep lately.” Couples in this enviable state will have a deep-seated positive view of their partner, which is only reinforced by any positive behavior: “These flowers are lovely. He’s always so nice to me,” or “She’s just such a nice person, no wonder she did that.” In negative relationships, however, the situation is reversed. Bad behavior is considered the norm: “He’s always like that,” or “Yet again. She’s just showing how selfish she is.” Instead, it’s the positive behavior that is considered unusual: “He’s only showing off because he got a pay raise at work. It won’t last,” or “Typical. She’s doing this because she wants something. She cites the work of psychologist John Gottman, who studies why marriages succeed or fail. He spent decades observing how couples interact, coding and measuring everything from their skin conductivity to their facial expressions, and eventually developed the Specific Affect Coding System — a method of scoring how positive or negative the exchanges are. But it wasn’t until Gottman met mathematician James Murray and integrated his mathematical models into the system that he began to crack the code of why these toxic negativity spirals develop. (Curiously, these equations have also been used to understand what happens between two countries during war — a fact on which Fry remarks that “an arguing couple spiraling into negativity and teetering on the brink of divorce is actually mathematically equivalent to the beginning of a nuclear war.”) Fry presents the elegant formulae the researchers developed for explaining these patterns of human behavior. (Although the symbols stand for “wife” and “husband,” Fry notes that Murray’s models don’t factor in any stereotypes and are thus equally applicable to relationships across all orientations and gender identities.) She breaks down the equations: The left-hand side of the equation is simply how positive or negative the wife will be in the next thing that she says. Her reaction will depend on her mood in general (w), her mood when she’s with her husband (rwWt), and, crucially, the influence that her husband’s actions will have on her (IHM). The Ht in parentheses at the end of the equation is mathematical shorthand for saying that this influence depends on what the husband has just done. The equations for the husband follow the same pattern: h, rHHt, and IHM are his mood when he’s on his own, his mood when he’s with his wife, and the influence his wife has on his next reaction, respectively. The researchers then plotted the effects the two partners have on each other — empirical evidence for Leo Buscaglia’s timelessly beautiful notion that love is a “dynamic interaction”: In this version of the graph, the dotted line indicates that the husband is having a positive impact on his wife. If it dips below zero, the wife is more likely to be negative in her next turn in the conversation. What all of this translates into is actually strikingly similar to Lewis Carroll’s advice on resolving conflict in correspondence. “If your friend makes a severe remark, either leave it unnoticed, or make your reply distinctly less severe,” Carroll counseled, adding “and if he makes a friendly remark, tending towards ‘making up’ the little difference that has arisen between you, let your reply be distinctly more friendly.” Carroll was a man of great psychological prescience in many ways, and this particular insight is paralleled by Gottman and Murray’s findings, which Fry summarizes elegantly: Imagine that the husband does something that is a little bit positive: He could agree with her last point, or inject a little humor into their conversation. This action will have a small positive impact on the wife and make her more likely to respond with something positive, too… [But] if the husband is a little bit negative — like interrupting her while she is speaking — he will have a fixed and negative impact on his partner. It’s worth noting that the magnitude of this negative influence is bigger than the equivalent positive jump if he’s just a tiny bit positive. Gottman and his team deliberately built in this asymmetry after observing it in couples in their study. And here is the crucial finding — T- is the point known as a negativity threshold, at which the husband’s negative effect becomes so great that it renders the wife unwilling to diffuse the situation with positivity and she instead responds with more negativity. This is how the negativity spirals are set off. But the most revelatory part is what this suggests about the myth of compromise. As Fry points out, it makes sense to suppose that the best strategy is to aim for a high negativity threshold — “a relationship where you give your partner room to be themselves and only bring up an issue if it becomes a really big deal.” And yet the researchers found the opposite was true: The most successful relationships are the ones with a really low negativity threshold. In those relationships, couples allow each other to complain, and work together to constantly repair the tiny issues between them. In such a case, couples don’t bottle up their feelings, and little things don’t end up being blown completely out of proportion. She adds the important caveat that a healthy relationship isn’t merely one in which both partners are comfortable complaining but also one in which the language of those complaints doesn’t cast the complainer as a victim of the other person’s behavior. In the remainder of The Mathematics of Love, Fry goes on to explore everything from the falsehoods behind the standard ideals of beauty to the science of why continually risking rejection is a sounder strategy for success in love (as in life) than waiting for a guaranteed outcome before trying, illustrating how math’s power to abstract reality invites greater understanding of our most concrete human complexities and our deepest yearnings. Complement it with a fascinating look at what troves of online dating data reveal about being extraordinary, Dan Savage on the myth of “The One,” and Adrienne Rich on how relationships define our truths. Donating = Loving Bringing you (ad-free) Brain Pickings takes hundreds of hours each month. If you find any joy and stimulation here, please consider becoming a Supporting Member with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a good dinner. You can also become a one-time patron with a single donation in any amount. 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Quiz: Sex Problems and Solutions -- Bedroom Mistakes Women Make

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 06:37:00 -0700

Quiz: Sex Problems and Solutions -- Bedroom Mistakes Women Make

Ingredients for a wedding

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 06:43:00 -0700

4-lb of love

1-lb of youth

0.5-lb of good looks

1-lb of sweet temper

1-lb of blindness to faults

1-lb of self-forgetfulness

1-lb of powdered wit

1-lb of good humor

2 -tbsp of sweet argument

1- pint of rippling laughter

1- wine glass of common sense

1- oz of modesty

Put the love, good looks and sweet temper into a well-furnished house. Beat the butter of youth to a cream and mix well to blindness of faults.

Stir the pounded wit and good humor in to the sweet argument; then add the rippling laughter and common sense. Work the whole together until everything is mixed and bake gently forever.

(Found in a church book of recipes about 1900AD)

www.ajokeaday.com

Cele 15 reguli ale casatoriei

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 00:17:00 -0700

Care sunt cele mai importante reguli ale casatoriei?:

1. Ai incredere in partenerul tau;

2. Tine minte: compromisul reprezinta cheia pentru o relatie fericita;

3. Nu va culcati niciodata unul suparat pe celalalt: cineva trebuie sa faca primul pas;

4. Asigura-te ca ii demonstrezi partenerului tau cat de mult inseamna pentru tine;

5. Daca vrei sa critici, fa-o! Insa mare atentie la ce cuvinte folosesti;

6. Nu iti aminti de trecut;

7. Daca ai gresit, recunoaste si cere iertare;

8. Ofera-i partenerului tau libertatea de care are nevoie;

9. Stati si despartiti: uneori distanta poate reaprinde flacara iubirii;

10. Nu dormiti niciodata in paturi separate;

11. Nu-ti fie teama de rutina: uneori poate fi chiar romantica;

12. Asigura-te ca inca mai ai dreptul la intimitate;

13. Iubeste cu toata inima;

14. Fii sincera cu partenerul;

15. Nu iti fie teama sa spui ce ai pe inima.
Foto: Shutterstock.com

http://mirese.kudika.ro/articol/mirese~traditii/23122/15-reguli-pentru-o-casatorie-fericit.html

STOP PLAGIATUL!

Bedroom Mistakes

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 13:25:00 -0700

http://www.metacrawler.com/search/web?fcoid=417&fcop=topnav&fpid=2&q=Bedroom+Mistakes+&topSearchSubmit.x=44&topSearchSubmit.y=44

Quiz: Sex Problems and Solutions -- Bedroom Mistakes Women Make

women.webmd.com/rm-quiz-bedroom-mistakes-women

Found On: Google, Yahoo! Search

24 Apr 2012 ... Ladies, how's your sex life? Wonder what everybody else is doing? Want yours to be better? This WebMD quiz answers some of your most ...

Five big bedroom mistakes

www.lovingyou.com/…836301/five-big-bedroom-mistakes

Found On: Google, Yahoo! Search

23 Aug 2011... are some things that you can do that can totally throw your bedroom pleasure off course. Here are five things that are big bedroom mistakes.

Sex Problems and Solutions Quiz: Bedroom Mistakes Men Make

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4 May 2012 ... Guys, is your sex life hot? Looking for ways to get better in bed? Take WebMD's bedroom mistakes quiz to improve your game.

Top 10 Mistakes Men Make In The Bedroom - Seduction Science ...

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Being a Bedroom Bull doesn’t mean being a jerk-wad. Here’s 10 big mistakes guy make in the bedroom. #1. Cuddle After Sex. If you’re not spending at least ...

3 Mistakes Women Make in the Bedroom | Love & Sex | GalTime

galtime.com/…097/2747/3-mistakes-women-make-bedroom

Found On: Google, Yahoo! Search

Who doesn't need to spice up their bedroom routine every once in a while? You love your partner and assume he'll initiate sex, so it's all good, right? Not so fast!

10 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make in the Bedroom | Essence.com

www.essence.com/…istakes-women-make-in-the-bedroom/

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10 Oct 2011 ... Even the greatest lovers can be off their game. Here are 10 mistakes women often make in bed.

What You Said: His Biggest Bedroom Mistakes Revealed | Essence ...

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12 Mar 2012 ... For every unbelievable romp between the sheets embedded in your memories, there's an encounter you're still trying to forget. Let's get real: ...

Top 10 Bedroom Design Mistakes to Avoid - Yahoo! Voices - voices ...

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Don't make these common bedroom planning mistakes. ... Top 10 Bedroom Design Mistakes to Avoid Don't Make These Common Bedroom Planning Mistakes

9 Mistakes To Avoid In Bed - AskMen

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When you're about to have sex with a woman, the last thing you want to do is turn her off. A lot of men are unaware of what they're doing wrong in bed, which is ...

Dr. Supertall™: Bedroom Mistakes Women Make

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Found Exclusively On: Yahoo! Search

Who doesn't need to spice up their bedroom routine every once in a while? You love your partner and assume he'll initiate sex, so it's all good, right?

Quiz: Bedroom Mistakes Men Make

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Mon, 11 Jun 2012 13:32:00 -0700

...

Turning off the lights could turn her on.

     Correct Answer: True

Ah, the old lights on/lights off debate. Many guys want the lights on during sex -- to be able to see what they're doing, so to speak. But insisting could be a mistake.

There's some evidence that women may benefit from having the lights off -- it may help them shut off distractions, reduce stress, and focus more fully on the experience. That could be worth the trade-off.

    Previous

Most women say that they've faked an orgasm.

True

One survey showed that 70% of women said that they had faked one. That’s a lot. What's the most common reason? They worry that they'll hurt a guy's feelings if they don't play along.

Many men -- often well-meaning ones -- put way too much pressure on their partners to orgasm. That's a turn-off.

Try to relax. If your partner feels more comfortable with you, she won't need to fake it. The less she fakes it, the better you'll understand what really turns her on.

Which can help get your partner in the mood?


Most guys have got it through their heads that foreplay is important, but they don't understand that it's more than "that stuff you do 5 minutes before intercourse."

Think of foreplay as something that goes on for hours -- maybe even days -- before you actually have sex. It can include all sorts of intimacies that will help your partner relax and feel connected to you. That doesn't just mean sexy massages -- taking over her dreary chores could actually be an aphrodisiac. And for some people a little bit of jealousy -- a LITTLE bit -- can be a turn-on.

Women don't like porn.

    Correct Answer: False

OK, yes, some women really don't like porn. But guys often make the mistake of making generalizations about What Women Like. One Australian survey found that about one in three women access porn on the Internet -- that's quite a few.

Of course, when it comes to your bedroom, all that matters is what your partner likes. If you want to try exploring erotica together, just ask her. See what happens.

How many women rarely or never orgasm from intercourse alone?

        Correct Answer: 30% or more

It's pretty simple: For most women to orgasm, they need stimulation of the clitoris. And for a sizeable number of women, intercourse just doesn't do that job very well. Part of it is anatomy. Studies show that the closer a woman's clitoris is to her vagina, the easier it is to orgasm during sex.

If your partner doesn't orgasm during sex, it's not necessarily something you're doing wrong. She just needs other stimulation as well.

Having a TV in your bedroom can cut your sex life in half.

True

Like watching TV in bed? Then get used to having less sex. One Italian study found that couples with a TV in the bedroom had half as much sex as couples who didn't. Set up your bedroom for sleep and sex. Leave all other distractions outside the door.

    Previous

...

If your partner uses a vibrator to masturbate, it's a sign something is wrong.

False

Guys can get sensitive about their partners using vibrators and other sex toys on their own. Shouldn't I be enough? they worry.

Don't be silly. Your partner using sex toys -- and being in touch with her sexuality -- is good for your sex life, not bad. Instead of feeling challenged, ask if you can incorporate toys into sex together. Nowadays, there are loads of toys designed for and marketed to couples. Trying some could be fun.

Just hugging can improve your sex life.

True

Oxytocin is called the cuddle hormone. Studies show that hugging a woman for just 20 seconds triggers an oxytocin release -- making her feel good and strengthening her bond with you.

Why mention this? Because some guys still imagine that sexual intimacy is somehow distinct from other physical intimacy. It isn't -- even on a biological level. You can't go from sitting on opposite ends of the couch every evening and then expect passionate sex to erupt. Get in the habit of hugging, kissing, and cuddling daily -- your sex life is bound to improve.

    Previous

On average, most couples climax at the same time twice a month.

False

Actually, for most couples, climaxing together is pretty rare. But that doesn't stop a lot of guys from trying and -- in all likelihood -- failing. The expert advice is not to worry so much about coordinating your orgasms with clockwork precision. Instead, taking turns -- you focus on her first and then vice versa -- is likely to be more satisfying for both of you.

Keeping things spontaneous will lead to a more fulfilling sex life.

        Correct Answer: False

Unexpected, spontaneous sex can be fantastic, no question. But it's not something to center your sex life around -- it's like standing in your yard waiting for a rainstorm when you want a glass of water. Don't wait for sex to happen. Take the initiative. Plan a weekly sex date with your partner. Far from being unsexy, you may find that planning a time for sex will help build desire and anticipation for both of you.

Your Score: 67% You correctly answered 8 out of 12 questions.

Not bad -- but you could polish your bedroom technique.

How To Bring Up Threesomes And Swinging With Your Partner

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Tue, 22 May 2012 14:56:00 -0700

by Cooper Beckett, editor at Life on the Swingset

It’s the question asked ‘round the world, by men and women everywhere, how can I talk to my partner about…(fill in the blank with some sort of open marriage revolving thing.) It’s no wonder, with the near universal yearning for variety, and that often bubbling below the surface desire to see your partner with another man/woman, that this question is so popular.
Those of us who are actually swingers, and have experienced the fun and excitement of threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes are treated as though we may have found the Holy Grail, and are inundated with variants on the above. What follows will be an attempt to give you a “get the ball rolling” sort of path to jump on. A lot here depends on you, and your partner, and you should be ever so cautious here at the beginning, ‘cuz it can easily feel as though you’ve wandered off the map, and thar be monstars in the unknown. Haven’t scared you off, have I?
No? Good. ‘Cuz you want to know a secret? Threesomes and swinging are really awesome.

Communicating With Your Partner About A Threesome

I feel they’re just about the most fun you can have without breaking anything but obscure old blue laws. Before we get to the “getting your partner to do” anything, we need to talk about fundamentally the most important part of this process. Communication. Period. If fantasy isn’t something you’re able to talk to your partner about, you probably need to hold off on the graduate level sexuality and focus on some remedial stuff first. Because the place you want to start with the threesome/swinger talk is with fantasy. Why? Well, if you’ve got a good solid relationship that can share fantasies and new ideas, you’ll probably be able to have the all important “sharing is caring” conversation. You also ought to be somewhat experimental in order to pull this one off. And not just you, the BOTH of you. If it’s missionary with the lights off every night, this might not be the time. (Not that there’s anything wrong with missionary with the lights off, in fact, missionary is one of my favorite positions. I love being able to look my lovers in the eyes.) So, if you feel you have good communication, and you may be more advanced than vanilla folk (you know, maybe vanilla bean, or vanilla with sprinkles) then it’s time to start playing with the fantasy.

Getting The Ball Rolling

Start non-specific, when my wife and I began the discussion, it was as simple as hot sexy talk, during the act, which of our friends would you bave sex with, who do you find hot, what’s your type, etc. These things are rarely discussed in a marriage, or a long term relationship, especially the “what’s your type” conversation, because married people like to assume they’re their partner’s type. (Not always the case, exceptions are often made for the spousal type.) Work this into your sex play, your discussions. Notice reactions when you do so. If your wife blanches at the idea of having another imaginary woman in bed, it’s doubtful she’d be up for having a flesh and blood real live girl lying next to her as well. It’s also important not to take fantasy acceptance as a green light. Really, it’s best to look at these stages as red and yellow lights. When you encounter a red light, you need to step back a bit, and run at it again. If you continually encounter red lights, and swinging or threesomes is extremely important to you, well, you have to decide if it’s a deal breaker or not. Now, if you’re getting yellow lights the whole way down, you’re likely to be sitting pretty before long.
Once the fantasy is out there, it’s likely to come up again. After a particularly hot lovemaking session where you’ve brought your best friend imaginarily into the bedroom to play the old fingercuffs game with your wife, there’s a good chance she’ll come up to you later, (sometimes as soon as in the shower immediately afterwards) and ask “wow, that was hot, where the hell did that come from?” A lot can be judged in the tone of this question. And tone can be the difference between yellow light and red light. If your partner doesn’t ask about it, or bring it up at all, or try to insert it into your NEXT lovemaking session, you shouldn’t read that as stop, just that they may be shy, or conflicted about their feelings on it. In any case, this is where that communication thing comes into play.

Why Communication Is So Important

Remember how EVERYBODY EVER has said that communication is the secret to a good relationship. Well, it’s also the secret to getting anywhere with the swinging conversation. If you can’t ask for something, you can’t do it. If your spouse doesn’t bring up that unique new fantasy or roleplay you guys did, well the onus is on you to do so. So suck it up and talk about it. It’s in this conversation where you need to have “the talk.”
Not the “when a man and a woman love each other very much” talk. The “it would be possible for me to be sexually attracted to another person” talk. And this is often the hardest conversation for people to have these days. Our entire society seems to scream that your relationship is bad if you have any attraction or wanderlust toward anyone other than your spouse for your entire life. (Well, except for all the cheaters, and divorcees, and…well, everybody who just won’t admit it.) So, take your deep breath and jump into the cold water. If you’re gonna be asking the question “do you ever think about being with another person?” know that your partner may think it’s a trap, so be ready with your “cuz I do sometimes, but I think it’d be super hot to do it with you.” (Don’t feel the need to use phrases like that which sound like they come straight from the pages of Dynamite Magazine for teens.)
This is the money point here. Especially with a threesome, it’s REALLY easy for it to appear that you’re just a guy who wants to have sex with two girls. Sorry for the crudity there, but it’s the truth. It’s why I never asked for a threesome. Because I failed to see what might be in it for her. This was before I knew that my wife harbored secret bisexual fantasies (see, lack of communication!) so I wasn’t able to suggest how hot it’d be for me to see her with another girl without risking triggering her defense mechanisms.

What To Talk About And When To Talk About It

In a healthy sexual relationship, we all have the desire to fulfill our partners fantasies, or to at least take them as close to the edge as we’re willing to go. So when your partner comes to you and says “darling, I’d love to see you fuck another person, it’d make me sooo hot!” well you at least consider whether or not you might be able to make that fantasy come true. The key point here is that threesomes and swinging shouldn’t be a “let’s try something new this weekend for my birthday, for our anniversary, for Arbor Day” conversation. It should be an ongoing discussion, with at least a few days between start and finish, but preferably, a couple weeks to allow the idea to really sink in. Especially with all the tertiary issues that can crop up, chief among them being jealousy, but also STI and pregnancy risk, the lunacy that can come from adding another person to a relationship, and so many more things that can broadside you because you hadn’t even considered them.
Now, if you’ve had these conversations and fantasies, and talked about what you’re interested in, well then, that sounds like a green light and permission to launch. Next stop, open relationship town. But that’s a whole other discussion, and that’s for next time.

Top 5 Worst People To Get Relationship Advice From

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Sat, 12 May 2012 10:11:00 -0700

Relationship advice can be great, unless it comes from the wrong person! Here’s who you DON’T want to get relationship advice from.
The world is riddled with people who are always trying to offer up relationships advice. Everybody from your friends, family and even your computer can tell you different ways to approach problems in your relationship.
If you are going through a rough patch and you’re looking for a good way to get things back on track, you are naturally going to overturn every stone in search of an answer. However, there are people that you should avoid when asking about relationship advice. Here are the top 5 people you should avoid when asking for relationship advice.

1. Your Boss

No matter how close you are, you should never ask your boss for any relationship advice. Over the course of time, you and your boss have probably had some long nights in the office together. You probably feel like you can trust them with details of your personal life.
But when you’re going through something with your girlfriend or wife, the last thing that you want to do is take advice from somebody that signs your pay check. Not only are they unqualified, they don’t really know your girlfriend or wife well enough to give you usable advice. Steer clear of your boss when you need relationship advice to keep your professional career on track.

2. Your Mom

Sure, she’s been through it all, but do you really want to ask your mom for relationship advice? Chances are that your mom is going to take your side on every issue and refuse to give you a balanced opinion on the subjects that you’re having issues with. Your mother should be the one that tells you everything is going to be all right, not how to patch things up after fighting with your girlfriend. Avoid your mother no matter how much she tries to pry things out of you.

3. Internet Forums

Internet forums are the worst places to get advice on relationships. No, I’m not talking about a Dear Abby article; I’m talking about places like Yahoo Answers and Wiki Answers. These places are filled with people that will not take your questions seriously. They might even offer bad advice because they think that it’s funny. They also don’t know your wife or girlfriend so they can make snap judgments without knowing all of the facts. Resist posting your questions on Internet forums or Craigslist for any kind of solid relationship advice.

4. TV/Movies

Everybody wants to believe that they have a relationship comparable to that on TV or in a movie. But one of the worst things that you can do is take relationship advice from a TV show or a movie. The reason that the advice they give works out in the end is because of a little thing called a script. The two were supposed to be together in the end for a happy ending. Life doesn’t always work out that way. Don’t take your relationship advice from a procedural or you may find yourself alone in the end.

5. Your Womanizing Friend

Every guy out there has a womanizing friend. He probably picks up girls at every bard or nightclub in the city. He has a silver tongue and he always knows what to say to get a girl’s attention. The problem with the womanizing friend is that he knows little about relationships and more about seduction.
Furthermore, he’s not going to be able to give you solid advice on your relationship because he exists in a different world than you do. He dates a lot of women and doesn’t have a stable relationship. If he were in your shoes, he would break up with her and be done with it. Don’t ever get relationship advice from a player because they will always tell you to break up.
Getting good relationship advice is essential to living a happy and healthy life. If you really do love your girlfriend or wife then you are going to want to make them happy also. If you are in a pinch, consider seeing a marital or relationship counselor. There are hundreds of relationship counselors in every city that have extensive knowledge of the most common problems that every couple goes through.
If the issues aren’t big enough to enlist the help of a counselor in your area, consult your local bookstore’s relationship section. This should offer you a wide variety of books on how to improve communication, your sex life and understanding her needs. Remember that problems in the relationship are rarely one sided, so get some perspective and try to understand the problem from both ends.

Telepatia in cuplu

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Thu, 10 May 2012 10:58:00 -0700

http://www.metacrawler.com/info.metac.t1.1/search/web?fcoid=417&fcop=topnav&fpid=2&q=telepatia+in+cuplu&topSearchSubmit.x=44&topSearchSubmit.y=44

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Psihart - Centru de consiliere psihologica, psihoterapie si…

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Congresul National de Psihologie Sibiu 2008 unde am participat cu cercetarea " Studiul privind telepatia in cuplu". Congresul International de Psihologie Sibiu ...

Telepatia - botlending forum

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Apollo 14 si telepatia Istoria navetei Apollo 14 legata de telepatie, constituie inca un ... De exemplu, un cuplu care se intelege de minune. Cum putem explica faptul, ca ...

Ce vor barbatii in pat? Afla! -

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30 Sept 2009 ... Ai dreptate, daca e vorba de o aventura de-o noapte sau de un cuplu in care viata sexuala inseamna...masturbare. Intr-o relatie serioasa, ei vor ...

Terapia prin Telepatie - partea 1 /4 - YouTube

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9 Dec 2010 ... Acestea pot face terapie la distanta asemanator cu telepatia. ... Relaţia de Cuplu şi Caracterul Oamenilorby 2012xDecx2117888 views · Armele ...

telepatia sufletelor in armonia cuplului

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Motto: Daca tu, Omule, iubesti doar pe Fiinta care Te iubeste, ce rasplata astepti? CUVANT INAINTE. Intitulat “Telepatia Sufletelor. Armonia Cuplului”, Cursul va ...

Comunicarea in cuplu: greseli de evitat

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14 Sept 2011 ... Comunicarea in cuplu are multe reguli si instructiuni, insa uneori evitarea ... O relatie reusita si fericita are multe avantaje, dar telepatia nu se ...

telepatia in comunicare

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Pe acest site o sa gasesti telepatia in comunicare. telepatia,in,comunicare, ... O buna intelegere a celui de langa noi este primul pas catre relatii de cuplu mai ...

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Atractia sexuala si iubirea – diferente si asemanari

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Wed, 2 May 2012 08:52:00 -0700

inevitabil, organismul isi termina resursele si, dupa o perioada de cateva saptamani, pana la MAXIM un an, revine la starea normala.

Si atunci se poate face evaluarea, iar aceasta este proba de care trebuie sa treaca orice relatie pentru a putea vorbi despre o relatie pe termen lung intre un barbat si o femeie.

...

exista un ciclu de indragostire care dureaza 4 ani si ca desi oamenii se chinuie sa intretina relatii monogame de lunga durata, cercetarile arata ca cele mai multe divorturi se inregistreaza in al- 4 –lea an de casnicie.

Pe langa asta, Helen Fisher spune ca avem creierul setat pe 3 directii cand vine vorba de iubire. Un anumit set de emotii care duce la atasament, alt set care duce la romantism si alt set care duce la sex. Fiecare din aceste 3 grupuri are emotiile specifice si in iubire actioneaza de cele mai multe ori amestecate.

Toate bune si frumoase pana aici.

Insa acum abia incepe partea interesanta.

Concluziile acestor cercetari foarte interesante si bine documentate se termina cu ideea ca totusi, componentele chimice si emotionale ale iubirii care dureaza mult timp, pe viata chiar, raman inca un mister.

Emotiile atractiei sexuale sunt intr-adevar substante chimice care pleaca din creier. In momentul in care o persoana simte o puternica atractie sexuala, la nivel fiziologic se petrec anumite schimbari majore.

Creste nivelul anumitor substante chimice care sunt defapt emotii, si rezultatele sunt:

-ritm crescut al batailor inimii,

-lipsa poftei de mancare,

-creste sensibilitatea la toate cele 5 simturi(vaz, auz, miros, gust si simtul tactil),

-stari dese de euforie (fericire).

Apoi, inevitabil, organismul isi termina resursele si, dupa o perioada de cateva saptamani, pana la MAXIM un an, revine la starea normala.

Si atunci se poate face evaluarea, iar aceasta este proba de care trebuie sa treaca orice relatie pentru a putea vorbi despre o relatie pe termen lung intre un barbat si o femeie.

In acest termen, majoritatea oamenilor cad in capcana. Din cauza acestor emotii transformatoare, oamenii cred ca si-au descoperit jumatatea, iau decizii bazate pe aceste emotii trecatoare, se casatoresc , fac copii iar emotiile se dilueaza si dispar.

Inca din 1820, filozoful Arthur Schopenhauer si-a dat seama ce este defapt atractia sexuala cu biologia, comportamentele si problemele care rezulta de aici:

“Dragostea(a se citii „atractia sexuala”) este vicleşugul întrebuinţat de natură pentru a-şi atinge scopul, care nu este, în realitate, decât crearea unei fiinţe noi.

Îndată ce voinţa speciei este satisfăcută, ea dispare şi, plăcerea individului risipindu-se, îl readuce la cruda realitate. De aceea, însuşi Eros este înfăţişat legat la ochi.” Arthur Schopenhauer

Majoritatea casniciilor sfarsesc prin divort in al 4 lea an, spun cercetarile. Asta pentru ca, in opinia mea, dupa cele cateva luni , maxim 18, desi emotiile dispar, cuplul se straduieste sa faca relatia sa mearga. Daca apare si un copil, eforturile sunt de inteles.

Dar pentru ca oamenii isi bazeaza intreg viitorul doar pe niste trairi care dispar rapid in timp, din cauza ignorantei de multe ori, relatii sfarsesc prost iar oamenii se intreaba ce nu e in regula, cu ei, cu lumea, cu viata si cu iubirea.

Acum lucrurile se schimba, iar educatia pe aceasta tema trebuie sa devina o prioritate , pentru ca asa cum spune un prieten al meu, Bogdan, nimeni nu s-a nascut invatat, insa ai tot mai putine scuze sa mori prost.

Asadar, sa stii despre atractia sexuala, este un bun inceput, necesar, insa deloc suficient.

Urmatorul pas este sa inveti cum sa creezi TU aceasta super emotie in persoanele de sex opus si sa le faci sa fie atrase de tine.

Cateva observatii de bun simt, ne spun ca preferam mai degraba :

-o persoana care are incredere in fortele ei , decat una care e tot timpul in depresie si necajita

-o persoana care emana emotii pozitive si distractie in jur, nu emotii negative

-o persoana care face sport mai degraba decat una care se neglijeaza

-o persoana care este apreciata si respectata de cei din jur mai degraba decat gasca grupului.

For a very happy couple - Refresh your memory

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Fri, 2 Mar 2012 06:44:00 -0800

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/happy-couples-what-it-takes-to-be-one Happy Couples: What It Takes to Be One Love alone won’t see you through, say the experts By Elizabeth Heubeck WebMD FeatureReviewed by Cynthia Dennison Haines, MDThe sight of a couple sharing a joke and walking hand in hand, their faces lined with wrinkles, and their hair gray, begs the question: How did they remain a happy couple for so many years? Given that about half of all first marriages for men and women under 45 end in divorce, it's a legitimate question. So at WebMD, we asked the experts to reveal the secrets of happy couples. Their revelations may surprise you. "It's not about how much you love each other, or how much money you have, or even if your personalities mesh," says Howard Markman, PhD, leading marriage researcher, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, and author of Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love. Recommended Related to Sex & RelationshipsSharing Your Sex Fantasies With your Partner: Sizzler or Fizzler? You've been sharing a bed with the same partner for years. By now you know each other's sleeping habits inside and out, right down to the exact room temperature and sleeping position preferred. But how well do you know what it takes to turn on your partner? There's one way to find out -- by sharing your most intimate sex fantasies. An open exchange of erotic fantasies can help rekindle the flames -- or can they? Here's what sex experts say on the subject. Read the Sharing Your Sex Fantasies With your Partner: Sizzler or Fizzler? article > > Far more significant than these factors -- yes, even more important than heart-pounding lust, which, let's face it, often fades over time -- is communication, says Markman. How well you and your spouse communicate with another? The second most significant factor that happy couples share, he says, is a strong friendship. While you can't necessarily teach a couple how to be friends, you can teach good friends how to communicate better. Markman regularly tackles this task, using a research-based method derived from data that he and his colleagues at the University of Denver have collected over decades of systematically observing unhappy and happy couples. Happy Couples: Developing Healthy Habits Markman offers three important ingredients of happy couples: Avoid blowouts. "The first is to learn to talk without fighting about inevitable conflicts," Markman says. Making a concerted effort to see the other person's perspective, and avoiding the blame game of "she said" or "he did," goes a long way. When things appear to be hedging toward a blowout, Markman urges couples to do what parents often tell young children: Take a "time out." It's a tactic he calls "exiting out of destructive fighting." Recall the positive. As parents often ask a child stewing in the time-out corner what she could have done differently, Markman suggests that couples in conflict take time to consider what brought them together in the first place. Then, he says, make room for those factors in your life again. "You've got to protect and preserve those positive connections -- the friendship, the fun," Markman tells WebMD. These are aspects of marriage that happy couples keep intact. Look to the future. While turning the clock back can help couples rekindle lost connections, Markman urges couples to simultaneously look forward. "You've got to have a long-term vision of the future, shared dreams, and plans that represent a commitment to one another and your family," he says. Happy Couples: Addressing a Sexless Marriage That future, according to most marriage experts, should include a healthy sex life. While sex isn't everything to happy couples, sexual problems can lead to marital discord. That men and women tend to have different ideas about sex doesn't help matters. "Generally speaking, women tend to see sexuality as part of a larger construct. Men are exactly the opposite," says James E. Sheridan, a judge and founder of Marriages That Work, a nonprofit organization in Michigan that teaches instructional courses on how to strengthen marriages. "Women have to be in the mood. Men have to be in the room." Many times, misunderstandings over these differences lead to a break down in a healthy sexual relationship within a marriage, even among happy couples. The result, say experts, is a sexless marriage. Patti Britton, president of the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, calls sexless marriages an "epidemic." She reports that many of the married clients she sees haven't had sex in 10 years. Adopt a business approach to improve sex. Seeing things from a business-like perspective helps couples reframe their sexual relationship. "I tell them, 'If this were a business, would you let it flounder like this?'" Britton says. Presenting sex in this light makes problems, and solutions, more concrete for couples. "By likening it [marriage] to a business mode -- with shared goals and missions; responsibilities, assets, and liabilities; and frequent business meetings -- things shift," Britton tells WebMD. Make honest assertions. To salvage their sex lives, some couples need to dig deeper. "Often, sex wasn't good in the first place. A big complaint for women is that foreplay is bad or nonexistent," Britton says. But this isn't easy for anyone to admit. "I do a lot of pushing for the truth," Britton tells WebMD. Some couples simply aren't prepared to tell, or hear, the truth. "A lot of couples fall out of it. It pushes too many buttons," she says. Happy Couples: Learning Financial Savvy The topic of family finances is another hot-button topic, even for happy couples. Delegate the task of budget balancer. Experts observe that most happy couples recognize that handling household finances should remain a singular task. "Only one person can work the checkbook. There can't be two CFOs," Sheridan tells WebMD. That doesn't mean, however, that the other partner should be kept in the dark about finances. Sheridan espouses making joint financial decisions, with just one person implementing. Start an emergency fund. He also strongly urges couples to plan for financial emergencies. This helps diffuse any potential blowups, such as who will sacrifice personal spending money when urgent house repairs must be funded. Every couple faces adversity, from slumps in their sex lives to bickering over the checkbook balance. But Markman believes that most married people can learn to become happy couples. "If both partners are motivated, they can turn things around," Markman tells WebMD. Published February 2007. Further Reading: Best Age to Marry Climbing I Married a Total Stranger ‘Idealizing’ Your Spouse Makes an Ideal Marriage Domestic Abuse-Home Treatment Domestic Abuse-Other Places To Get Help Domestic Abuse-Preparing For Your Appointment Domestic Abuse-Prevention See All Empty Nest Topics Top Picks Birth Control: Find What's Right for You Online Dating: More Success Than the Real Thing? Antidepressants: Sexual Side Effects and More Getting Intimate: Talking Together About ED Is Your Mouth Kissably Healthy? Find Out How Diabetes Affects A Woman's Sexual Health === http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=A0oG7mpx1VBPrAMAXhlXNyoA?p=For+a+happy+couple&fr2=sb-bot&fr=ie8 7 Secrets of Happy Couples Quotes - Daily Inspiration - Daily ... 7 Secrets of Happy Couples Quotes from Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote www.quotes-daily.com/2009/02/7-secrets-of-happy-couples.html - Cached Be a Happy Couple - 5 Things Super Happy Couples Do - Redbook Daily rituals that build a stronger marriage. ... Lord knows this is not the sort of thing guys brag about. But my wife and I have a ridiculously happy marriage. www.redbookmag.com/.../super-happy-couples-ll - Cached Happy Couples: What It Takes to Be One - WebMD - Better ... Experts reveal the secrets of happy couples. And their revelations may surprise you. www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/happy-couples... - Cached More results from webmd.com » Happy Couples - EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best ... Most couples are looking for a happy relationship. Happiness is a state of mind that makes a person content. Happy couples have the key that enhances a solid ... ezinearticles.com/?Happy-Couples&id=304437 - Cached Five Reasons Couples Stay Happy | eHow.com Most people want to find someone they can love and be happy with forever. However, couples split up and get divorced every day. This reality does not take away people ... www.ehow.com/info_8350067_five-reasons-couples-stay... - Cached More results from ehow.com » Tips for How to be a Happy Couple - EzineArticles Submission ... To be a happy couple isn't easy, but the learning about it is quite simple. First, you have to know about what love is. And the second, you must practice it consistently. ezinearticles.com/?Tips-for-How-to-be-a-Happy-Couple&id=... - Cached Happy Marriage - How to Have a Happy Marriage - Redbook Get the recipe for a happy marriage in these 'how to' tips, secrets, and quotes from experts — and real-life couples. www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/marriage/happy-marriage - Cached EastEnders set for a happy couple? - RTÉ Ten One of the characters in 'EastEnders' is to propose, but the path to the big day will reportedly not be a smooth one. The Mirror reports that Phil Mitchell (Steve ... www.rte.ie/ten/2011/0113/eastenders.html - Cached Characteristics of Happy Couples | eHow.com We've all seen couples that just exude love and happiness. They seem so together and are practically always on the same wavelength. You probably wonder what their ... www.ehow.com/info_8242466_characteristics-happy-couples.html - Cached 5 Things Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day My wife and I have a ridiculously happy marriage. Really, it's almost disgusting. www.webmd.com/.../5-things-super-happy-couples-every-day - Cached == 5 Things Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day WebMD Feature from "Redbook" MagazineBy Ty Wenger Lord knows this is not the sort of thing guys brag about. But my wife and I have a ridiculously happy marriage. Really, it's almost disgusting. We paw each other in public. We goof around like a pair of simpletons. We basically act like giddy newlyweds in the middle of happy hour. Sometimes we'll do something so revolting, like sitting on the couch and drawing smiley faces on the bottoms of each other's feet, that we're forced to make hacking, gagging noises to maintain our dignity. Actually, this happened just last week. See, I told you it was disgusting. It hasn't always been this way. In fact, I'm not ashamed to admit that our current marital bliss is the result of almost a year of counseling, a desperate effort undertaken several years ago, when we appeared destined for doom. What we learned then is something all happy couples eventually discover: A good marriage is a bit like a pet boa constrictor: either you feed it every day or bad things happen. Daily habits are extremely helpful in forging solid marriages, says couples therapist Tina Tessina, author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free. "If you're really interested in making your relationship work, little rituals are a great way to do it." Want examples? Look no further than Tessina and her husband, Richard, who have developed an array of daily relationship builders during their 19 years of marriage: Every morning, they repeat their wedding vows to each other; they hold regular state-of-the-union meetings; and (my personal favorite) Tina routinely leaves Post-it Notes for Richard ("Hi, honey! Have a great day!") stuck to the underside of the toilet seat (think about it). "Every marriage has what I call a relationship reservoir, or the stored-up emotional energy of the relationship," says Tessina. And although these daily habits are all very simple things, they help fill that reservoir. When there's a lot of positive energy there, you give each other a little pat on the butt or say, "I'm so glad I'm sharing my life with you," and you're storing it up. Then when the relationship is under stress, you'll have the energy you need to get through. We asked happy couples across the United States to tell us about marriage-strengthening solutions they've developed. Try your hand at incorporating a few into your daily life and maybe you can be as ridiculously, embarrassingly, revoltingly happily married as I am. Want to know the one thing that's most important to a successful marriage? That's easy. Walk up to your husband and surprise him with this one-question relationship quiz: You: "Honey, what do you think is the one thing most important to a successful marriage?" continued... Him: "Umm, uh did you say something?" And, well, there you have it. Happily married couples typically say their relationships work better when they can sit down and gab one-on-one, like thinking, feeling adults. But who's got time for that? Actually, anybody who sleeps at night, if you follow the lead of Julie and Thom and their nightly visits to their "igloo." "It all started one winter night years ago, when Julie had had a really bad day," says Thom, 33, a marketing director in Columbus, Ohio. "We were huddled under the covers of our bed, and Julie was describing how all the people who made her day miserable were 'bad polar bears' and how she didn't want any of the bad polar bears coming into the bedroom and how the bed was our refuge from them. You realize how embarrassing it is to admit this, right? Anyway, that's when we started calling the bed the igloo." "The igloo is a place to retreat to," says Julie, 31. "It's our little sanctuary; only nice things happen in the igloo." Eventually Julie and Thom began holding a powwow in the igloo at the end of every day, making a nightly excursion that Julie says has become a vital part of their five-year marriage. "It's funny, because I always thought that when you lived with somebody, you'd automatically know everything that was going on," she says. "But we find that if we don't take that time to connect with each other, it's really easy for life to get in the way. The igloo offers one of the few times in the day where there's not a whole heck of a lot else going on, so you're able to focus on each other in a deeper way." Of course, you don't need to christen major pieces of furniture with cute nicknames to improve the communication in your marriage. You simply have to set aside a few minutes every day to remind each other of why you got married in the first place. And there are as many ways to do that as there are marriages in America. Lori and Joe, who are happily married in Philadelphia, have a nightly ritual they call crook time. That's when Lori cuddles up in the "crook" of Joe's shoulder and they talk. "The name's a little sappy," Lori admits, "but it's always a nice way for us to catch up." Every night, Angie and Bob walk their pet Chihuahua, Chachi, through the streets of Brookline, Massachusetts. In addition to keeping Chachi from picking dogfights he could never win ("He has a bit of a Napoleon complex," Bob says), they use the time to strengthen their 11-year marriage. It may be going a bit far to emulate Tim and Jill, a Connecticut couple who somewhat sheepishly admit that they check in with each other from work "six, maybe seven times a day," Tim says, "sometimes a dozen times when we're really being crazy." (Jill says, slightly more defiantly, "He's just my best friend, and our marriage is a great partnership, and there's no one I'd rather talk to.") continued... Then again, if you've been married 10 years and still want to talk to each other 10 times a day, you must be doing something right. Back when you were 14 years old, you probably figured that once you got married, you'd have sex just about every day. (Well, maybe teenage girls don't think that way. But let me tell you, 14-year-old boys sure do.) And why not? Sex is free. It's fun. And it doesn't require the purchase of any equipment, besides the occasional bottle of vegetable oil and about 20 feet of nylon rope. But as they get older, most couples realize that having sex every night isn't possible, let alone a worthy goal. Indeed, a 1994 University of Chicago survey of Americans' sexual habits found that only about a third of adults have sex more than once a week. Granted, that number might have been higher if all the couples having sex more frequently had stopped to take the surveyor's phone call, but clearly, sex for most married couples is far from a daily reality. That doesn't mean, though, that you can't at least talk sexy every day, and that's the approach that Ed and Stephanie have taken in the more than six years they've been together. "It's funny," says Ed, a 33-year-old San Francisco cab driver, "because we know plenty of married couples who fight, a lot, about how often they have sex. The wife's upset because all he ever wants to do is have sex; the husband's upset because he doesn't think they have sex enough. But this has never really been a problem with us, and I think it has a lot do with the fact that we're always talking sexy to each other." "Absolutely," says Stephanie, a 32-year-old massage therapist. "We're always complimenting each other, tossing out fantasies, telling each other we're hot. He gets to feel like he can have sexual feelings, and I feel like I don't have to have sex all the time to appear attractive. "Let's put it this way: The way I see it, sex is like chocolate cake. After five days of eating chocolate cake, even chocolate cake doesn't taste that great." "Right," Ed says, "but after five days of talking about chocolate cake?" "That cake tastes damn good." Eavesdrop on a conversation between Bob and Angie concerning their favorite shared pastime. "We are so disgusting. This is so pathetic. It's like a sickness." "But it makes us happy!" "It's so stupid it makes us laugh." "We're yelling at people. High-fiving each other." "Look, we get a kick out of it because it's so ridiculous. It's our guilty pleasure." Forgive them if they seem somewhat shy, but they're merely ashamed to admit that the daily ritual that brings such joy to their 12-year marriage is none other than reality TV. That's right. They lived and died with Survivor. They've adopted Big Brother. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? They do. Not to mention TemptationIsland, The Weakest Link, The Real World, Chains of Love, Fear Factor, The Mole (yes, really, The Mole). continued... "Honestly, I think we just need to be dumb for a while," says Bob, 37, a shoe designer for Reebok in Boston. "We're both very into our careers. And when you're at work, with any job there's going to be a certain amount of professional stress. You like to come home sometimes and, for that lousy hour or whatever, kick back and relax." Or as Angie, 36, a marketing executive, says, "Life is serious enough, isn't it? Sometimes you need to do something stupid. And if you can't be stupid with your husband, who can you be stupid with? So hold on, then: Is domestic joy found in partners smothering each other in obsessive daily rituals ("Honey, don't forget, at 7:15 we have our nightly cuddle, followed by the affirmation of our vows, our 7:35 spontaneous flirtation, and then, of course, a new episode of Moesha at eight")? Hardly. In fact, Tessina says that sleepwalking through a series of hollow routines (although probably an apt description of your day job) is worse for your marriage than having no routines at all. The solution, she says, is to also make a daily habit of getting away from each other. "You know that old saying, 'How can I miss you if you don't go away?'" Tessina asks. "Doing things separately gives you a chance to fill in the blanks that your partner can't fill in for you, for example, one of you likes classical music, the other one likes sports. Plus, taking a break from each other gives you more things to talk about, because when you're joined at the hip, what's to talk about? You've already seen it all." The point, naturally, is not to make space for each other in that I-can't-wait-to-get-away-from-you sort of way but to pursue your own hobbies and interests. It's a distinction that Joe tried hard to make to Lori during their delicate pre-engagement negotiations four years ago. "As a woman, you get this message that when you get married, you spend every single waking second with your husband and you're so unbelievably happy," says Lori, 34. "And my parents actually do spend every single waking second together, and oddly enough, they are happy. So that's how I grew up thinking you were supposed to be. But when I told him this, Joe was like, 'I-don't-think-so.'" "Because I watched my parents," says Joe, 29, whose parents divorced when he was 22, "and yeah, they spent every moment together, but they spent every moment together at each other's throats." "So Joe had to convince me that having our own lives was a good idea," Lori explains. "I'm thankful he did." These days Lori and Joe are practically poster children for the power of independence. Joe, who works for a nonprofit agency, spends his nights taking painting classes, building youth centers, and recording his guitar sessions. Lori, a college professor, spends hers directing community-theater musicals and indulging in trashy movies on cable television, a passion that Joe (go figure) doesn't seem to share. continued... "It all brings a freshness to our marriage because we both continue to grow as people," Joe says. "Plus," says Lori, "getting out of the house and out of each other's hair keeps us from going crazy." And — we asked the experts, so we know — going crazy is definitely not one of the secrets of a happy marriage. In another University of Chicago survey, this one of married couples, 75 percent of the Americans who pray with their spouses reported that their marriages are "very happy" (compared to 57 percent of those who don't). Those who pray together are also more likely to say they respect each other, discuss their marriage together, and — stop the presses — rate their spouses as skilled lovers. Not to say that prayer is a cure for all that ails you (were that the case, my beloved Oakland Raiders would have won the Super Bowl years ago). But whether they're talking about a simple grace at dinnertime or some soul-searching meditation, couples routinely say that a shared spiritual life helps keep them close. And as Doug and Beth say, even couples who are on different sides of the theological fence can benefit from praying together daily. "We have been married for seven years, but praying together is something we didn't start doing until about a year ago," says Doug, a 32-year-old Salt Lake City biochemist. "In the past, whenever we faced big decisions, we'd have discussion after discussion about them, but we'd never really come to a resolution." After two 1,000-mile moves, the birth of three children, and two job changes, all in the past four years, those difficult decisions had begun to take a toll. So when Beth asked Doug, a nonreligious and self-proclaimed man of science, to try praying with her, he figured they had nothing to lose. "I soon found that praying together brings out a real sense of selflessness and humility," Doug says. "When you're praying for each other, not yourself, you're focused together and speaking from the heart on a whole different level. I would never have predicted this for us, but it really works." "As bad as any problem may seem at that moment," agrees Beth, "prayer always helps us see beyond it. It doesn't have to be a long-drawn-out scripture reading, just a few minutes a day. When we pray, it brings another level of honesty to our conversations. I think it's the most intimate thing you can do with another person." Now they pray together every night, once the "urchins" are in bed, which puts them in the company of the 32 percent of American married couples who say they pray together regularly. It also puts them in the company of Julie and Thom, when the other couple isn't holed up in their igloo, of course. continued... "It's pretty short and not at all scripted," says Julie about their giving thanks before each meal. "We just join hands and let it rip. Whether we're asking for forgiveness or giving thanks, saying it out loud holds a lot of power. "Besides, regardless of religion or spiritual preference, I think that most marriages require a ton of faith," Julie sums up. "You've got to believe that somehow the two of you are going to make it through things. You've got to believe that you're being blessed with this person. And even if the power we feel just comes from the strength of our love, even if we don't believe that it's God who is helping us, I still think that it's good to acknowledge that there's a force between the two of us that's helping us out." Originally published on November 17, 2001 Related content on redbookmag.com Sex Secrets of Really Happy Couple 25 Ways to Get Connected What Your Body Language Says About Your Relationship What a Friend's Divorce Means for Your Marriage The Secrets Couples Keep

Scuze obisnuite pentru a insela; Semne ca relatia ta se apropie de final; Inainte de divort

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Fri, 2 Mar 2012 06:29:00 -0800

http://www.aaparut.ro/lifestyle/scuze-obisnuite-pentru-a-insela/9190 Autor Annie Body pe 30 martie, 2011 02:30 PM | Fun, LIFE&STYLE Scuzele sunt doar cuvinte. Nici o justificare, nici un motiv evident Cu toate ca nu exista nici o justificare pentru inselat, cand partenerul tau infidel iti serveste o scuza pentru acest lucru, nu este decat o cale personala de a-si justifica comportamentul si de a se simti mai comod cu ideea de inselat. Motivul pentru care partenerul te-a inselat probabil este unul pe care nu il vei stii sigur niciodata. Nu exista raspunsuri simple la asa ceva. Exista insa o multime de scuze date de cei care inseala. Nu esti tu de vina Daca partenerul tau te-a inselat, va trebui sa realizezi ca nu esti tu de vina, nu citesti minti si chiar daca voi doi faceti parte din aceeasi casnicie, partenerul este cel care a facut pasul spre infidelitate. Oamenii infideli sunt egoisti. Este mai usor pentru ei sa insele si sa plece decat sa lucreze la casnicia lor. Nu face o obsesie din scuze Nu face obsesie din scuzele pe care le poti auzi de la partenerul tau infidel. Acestea sunt doar cuvinte si justificari pentru durerea pe care o simti tu. Indiferent de motivele invocate pentru a fi necredincios, rezultatul este ca te-a inselat. O aventura nu inseamna sfarsitul unei casnicii Asta nu inseamna ca mariajul tau a esuat. Nu inseamna neaparat ca mariajul tau are nevoie de ajutor. Faptul ca mariajul tau va supravietui sau nu infidelitatii va depinde in cazul in care amandoi sunteti dispusi sa cautati consiliere si sa mergeti mai departe. Iata cateva scuze comune pentru “Casnicia noastra s-a incheiat” : -casatoria noastra s-a incheiat inainte sa te insel -nu mai suntem cum eram inainte -nu te mai iubesc -nu ne-am potrivit niciodata -ma simt captiv(a) -nu am dorit niciodata sa ma casatoresc -nu vreau sa traiesc asa -te iubesc ca pe o sora/un frate -am vrut sa schimb ceva in mariaj pentru a fi mai bine -meriti ceva mai bun -credeam ca nu ma mai iubesti -m-ai lasat sa cred ca te-am parasit -nu te-am iubit niciodata -casnicia noastra este plictisitoare Cateva scuze pentru “Este vina ta“: -ti-am zis ani de zile de ce sunt nefericit(a), insa nu ai facut nimic -muncesti prea mult -credeam ca o sa te schimbi -nu ma mai asculti/nu imi mai dai atentie -nu esti bun(a) la pat -te-ai ingrasat -ti-ai tuns parul -insisti atat de mult pe sex incat nu mai este atragator -nu ai fost alaturi de mine cand am avut nevoie Cateva scuze din categoria “Este vina mea“: -nu are nici o legatura cu tine -nu esti tu de vina, sunt eu -sunt nefericit(a) -am nevoie de spatiu -nu stiu ce sa fac cu viata mea/sunt dezorientat(a) -nu te-am inselat inainte dar acum s-a intamplat -ceilalti m-au impins catre asta si nu am vrut sa pic de fraier(a) -am probleme -nu stiu de ce am facut, nu era planuit -nu ma asteptam sa fiu prins(a) -am o criza a varstei -nu sunt fericit(a). nu mai sunt fericit(a) de ani -nu am vrut niciodata sa te ranesc -este in natura mea sa insel -este o chestie obisnuita de-a baietilor Scuze evidente ca si cum “iarba este verde“: -am nevoie sa fac sex si cu alte persoane. nu pot sa fac asta tot restul vietii numai cu tine. -sexul este incredibil. cu tine niciodata nu a fost atat de bun. -vreau sa infiintez o trupa rock si o sa fiu plecat mult timp. nu ar fi corect pentru tine. -este o dependenta. -nu pot sa fac nimic in sensul asta. -nu inseamna nimic. -pur si simplu s-a intamplat. -el/ea avea o casnicie nefericita si am simtit un gol emotional in viata lui/ei -suntem doar prieteni -eram curios(oasa) cum este sexul cu o alta persoana Pe aceeasi tema: 1.6 sfaturi pentru o relatie la distanta 2.Afla cine va insela primul in relatia ta! 3.Sfaturi pentru o viata de cuplu mai fericita 4.Infidelitatea – cum te recuperezi emotional 5.Intrebari pe care ar trebui sa ti le pui inainte de divort Etichete: barbati, cupluri, divorturi, familie, relatii, sfaturi cuplu, viata cuplu === Semne ca relatia ta se apropie de final Autor Annie Body pe 22 martie, 2011 05:15 PM | DIVERS, Love & Sex Semne Despartire Exista patru semnale pe care ar trebui sa le stie oricine pentru a evita o catastrofa cand este vorba de relatii. De obicei ele apar rapid una dupa alta si decurg conform tehnicii bulgarelui de zapada. Tensiunile se acumuleaza iar pe masura trecerii atmosfera poate deveni din ce in ce mai apasatoare. In urma a multi ani dedicati studiului relatiilor de dragoste si casniciei s-au determina patru semnale care te avertizeaza ca o relatie serioasa se apropie de sfarsit. Critica In toate cuplurile exista discutii aprinse iar plangerile fata de comportamentul partenerului devin din ce in ce mai frecvente si inevitabile. Cand o banala acuzatie “cheltui prea multi bani” se transforma in “esti un mare egoist”, deja problema incepe sa se cronicizeze. Atacul asupra comportamentului partenerului este perceput ca si un atac asupra personalitatii si caracterului sau. Dispret Dupa criticile aduse caracterului partenerului, insultele intentionate si hartuirea verbala sunt urmatoarele trepte in ruperea relatiei. Nu este uman si nici normal sa-ti acuzi partenerul ca este egoist, dar poate fi si mai rau daca-l numesti “porc iresponsabil”, de exemplu. Daca unul dintre parteneri incepe sa arunce insulte, celalalt va raspunde prin cuvinte sau prin limbajul trupului. Multi dintre noi am participat la momente in care unul dintre parteneri povesteste despre succesele sale iar celalalt isi da ochii peste cap aratand o ironie vizibila. Defensiva Amandoi partenerii au o pozitie defensiva si, considera ei, rezonabila. Fiecare simte ca e o victima si isi face griji din cauza acestei stari. Oricine se simte amenintat are o reactie naturala atunci cand se intreaba de ce partenerul isi varsa nervii pe celalalt mai ales ca este nevinovat. Toate acestea conduc catre replici date in mod incontrolabil de la un partener la altul pana cand acestia nu mai sunt atenti la spusele celuilalt. Ridicarea zidului de piatra Obositi de cearta nesfarsita, incetati amandoi cu discutiile contradictorii respingand total aceasta idee ca manifestare umana. Daca partenerul incearca sa te provoace ii raspunzi “da, ca intotdeauna, ai dreptate” si te afunzi intre paginile ziarului. Unul incepe cearta, iar celalat intoarce spatele si iese. Zidul nu mai poate fi daramat decat foarte greu, iar sfarsitul este inevitabil. Pe aceeasi tema: 1.Semne ca esti indragostita 2.12 greseli pe care le poti face intr-o relatie de lunga durata 3.6 sfaturi pentru o relatie la distanta 4.Intrebari pe care ar trebui sa ti le pui inainte de divort http://www.aaparut.ro/diverse/semne-ca-relatia-ta-se-apropie-de-final/8818 == Intrebari pe care ar trebui sa ti le pui inainte de divortAutor Annie Body pe 26 martie, 2011 04:11 PM | DIVERS, Love & Sex intrebari divort Decizia de a divorta este o decizie critica in viata unui om, cu consecinte ce pot ramane pe tot restul vietii. Problemele conjugale, suferinta sau frustrarea partenerilor nu sunt neaparat motive de divort. Vom urmari niste intrebari pe care oricine ar trebui sa si le puna inainte de a face pasul catre divort. Este bine ca aceste intrebari sa fie urmarite in momentele critice ale casniciei de catre ambii parteneri, ca un cuplu. Daca hotarasti ca divortul este cea mai buna cale, partenerul ar trebui sa fie si el convins de asta. 1. Mai ai inca sentimente pentru partener? Sentimentele tale in timp fata de partener pot sa dispara sau doar sa se estompeze. Te poti simti fara puteri in fata problemelor casniciei si din aceasta cauza apropierea emotionala sa dispara. Daca mai ai inca sentimente de dragoste si afectiune pentru partener, atunci ar trebui sa te concentrezi asupra partii emotionale a relatiei inainte de a lua o decizie radicala. Nu ai vrea sa iei aceasta decizie intr-un moment de slabiciune emotionala si apoi sa realizezi ca ai facut o greseala. Daca inca mai sunt sentimente, terapia pentru cupluri este foarte benefica si te salveaza de la un dezastru. 2. A fost o casnicie adevarata? In cazul in care casnicia ta nu a fost altceva decat doi oameni care locuiesc impreuna insa isi vad separat de propriile necesitati, atunci divortul nu este ceva surprinzator. Casatoria este o uniune intre partenerii unui cuplu care isi dau interesul pentru binele relatiei. Daca nu exista nici un “cuplu”, ci doar doua persoane care lupta fiecare pentru propriile nevoi si interese, atunci este un moment bun pentru o schimbare a dinamicii cuplului sau pentru a pleca fiecare pe calea sa. 3. Iti doresti cu adevart un divort sau il folosesti ca o amenintare? Esti furioasa pe sotul tau si il ameninti cu divortul din cauza problemelor si frustrarilor din casnicie? Folosesti aceasta amenintare ca o metoda de a il determina pe partenerul tau sa faca precum doresti sau pentru a detine puterea in cuplu? Crezi ca procedand astfel vei capta atentia partenerului si te va lua in serios? Daca amenintarea este solutia pe care ai gasit-o, este posibil sa esueze. Cu siguranta ai nevoie de terapie pentru a-ti rezolva problemele. Decizia divortului trebuie luata cu maturitate si responsabilitate. 4. Decizia de a divorta este bazata pe o reactie emotionala sau in cunostinta de cauza? Daca esti pregatita pentru un divort, va trebui sa lasi deoparte orice atasament emotional pe care il ai pentru sotul tau. Decizia de a divorta intr-un moment de complesire emotionala nu rezolva problemele, in schimb poate genera la randul sau alte probleme si poate provoca suferinta atat pentru tine cat si pentru partener. Trebuie sa iti poti privi partenerul ca o parte independenta ce merita respect chiar si in timpul unui proces de divort. Daca nu poti face acest lucru, atunci procesul de divort va fi presarat de frustrari, furie si neincredere. 5. Care este motivul pentru care divortezi? Speri ca divortul il va face pe partener sa te trateze mai bine? Poate ca el va realiza ca a pierdut si va face schimbarile pe care tu ti le doreai. Daca da, atunci vei divorta din motive gresite. Divortul va scoate doar la ivela un conflict, nu il va rezolva. Tot ceea ce va face un divort va fi sa incheie casnicia ta si sa va desparta ca familie. Daca iti doresti o schimbare in dinamica dintre tine si sotul tau, atunci divortul nu este ceea ce iti doresti. Odata divortata, partenerul este liber sa inchege legaturi emotionale cu alte persoane. Daca acest lucru este suparator, gandeste-te de doua ori inainte sa iei o decizie. 6. Te-ai gandit la consecintele negative ale divortului? Divortul poate provoca pierderi asupra viselor si scopurilor stabilite in viata la moentul respectiv. Chiar daca esti optimista si convinsa ca este ceea ce iti doresti, tot vei avea nevoie mai tarziu de sustinere si ajutor in lupta si stresul asociate divortului. Va trebui sa faci fata suferintei copiilor sau a altor persoane afectate de aceasta decizie. Nu lasa ca suferinta ta provocata de divort sa ii afecteze si pe cei din jur. 7. Esti capabila sa actionezi intr-un mod matur dupa divort? Atitudinea ta va determina ce fel de viata vei avea dupa divort. Vei fi puternica, iti vei asuma responsabilitati si vei lasa orice urma de regret? Sau vei ramane cu o atitudine amara, plina de resentiment si vinovatie? Atitudinea cu care alegi sa traiesti va arata nu numai tipul de divort pe care il ai, dar si calitatea vietii pe care o vei avea dupa acest pas semnificativ.

CUM SI UNDE SA-MI GASESC SUFLETUL PERECHE

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Fri, 2 Mar 2012 06:21:00 -0800

CUM SI UNDE SA-MI GASESC SUFLETUL PERECHE

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The Science of Love

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Fri, 2 Mar 2012 06:00:00 -0800

http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2012/02/live-chat-the-science-of-love.html ... 3:06 Dr. Diane Witt: Love is a hypothetical construct with many interpretations and many dimensions. Social attachment is an essential component of love and understanding how an attachment forms and is maintained is the subject of much current research in the field of neurobiology. In fact, social neuroscience is now a newly established subdiscipline. Love and social attachments are usually involved in reproduction but it is also involved in a sense of safety and reduction in anxiety. Brain reward pathways are of particular interest. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:06 Dr. Diane Witt 3:06 Marc Bekoff: Current research on love in animals shows clearly that individuals of many diverse species form long and enduring social bonds and that they grieve the loss of loved ones very deeply. It's not that difficult to see this in many animals. And it's real love not "love". Thursday February 9, 2012 3:06 Marc Bekoff 3:09 [Comment From Dianalindsay@gmail.com Dianalindsay@gmail.com : ] What impact do the love chemicals have on the immune system and our innate power to heal? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:09 Dianalindsay@gmail.com 3:09 Dr. Diane Witt: The strengthening of reward pathways and reduction in stress levels have positive effects on the immune system. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:09 Dr. Diane Witt 3:11 [Comment From Diana McGuinness Diana McGuinness : ] Is the devastating pain of heartbreak a necessary effect of love (what goes up must come down) or is there an evolutionary basis for it? Do other mammals feel ( ie display symptoms of) heartbreak as acutely as humans do? Do polyamorous mammals display symptoms of heartbreak or jealousy? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:11 Diana McGuinness 3:12 Marc Bekoff: It's known that individuals of many different species display deep grief and heartbreak. Jane Goodall among others have seen animals, in her case chimpanzees, show radical changes in behavior after a loved one dies, the best example being Flint, a young chimpanzee who died soon after his mother Flo died. I've also seen first hand grief in wild elephants. There's also some compelling new research on chimpanzees that shows deep mourning, I've also seen this in birds. So, there can be no doubt that other animals grieve and show heartbreak. I've written about this in a number of essays on my blog in Psychology Today. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:12 Marc Bekoff 3:13 [Comment From Kim Kim : ] Are there differences between male and female brain activity for love? Can you differenciate between sexual love and emotional love? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:13 Kim 3:13 Dr. Diane Witt: Many of the neural substrates for love are laid down during the early developmental stages of life at the same time that gender differences are being established. So gender differences in stress responsivity plays a major role in subsequent responses to social bonding. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:13 Dr. Diane Witt 3:15 [Comment From Jason H Jason H : ] What examples of love and other emotions do we see in animals other than humans? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:15 Jason H 3:15 Marc Bekoff: Many nonhumans display love and other emotions. These include joy, happiness, grief, jealousy, envy, embarrassment, and disgust. A good place to look for the latest data on animal emotions would be my books The Emotional Lives of Animals and The Animal Manifesto and also on my Psychology Today blogs. We know know that mice, rats, and chickens display empathy and the list of "surprises" is growing rapidly and when I think of how many animals live in large social groups they aren't surprises at all. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:15 Marc Bekoff 3:17 [Comment From Novem Novem : ] Are humans a monogamous species? I've heard a friend describe humans as serial monogamists while others have argued that humans are polygamous. What does the science say? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:17 Novem 3:17 Dr. Diane Witt: It depends on how you define monogamy. Current research focuses on selective social affiliation and attachment, but this might not necessarily mean sexual monogamy. ... 3:24 [Comment From Niki Niki : ] Do you believe there is a biological basis for non-monogamy? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:24 Niki 3:24 Dr. Diane Witt: There is ample evidence in a number of species that differences in neurochemicals and their receptors in the brain differ in their distributions in key brain areas that drive mechanisms underlying a suite of behaviors for monogamy and nonmonogamy. Monogamous and nonmogomous species behaviors include those associated with reproduction, social attachment and parental behavior. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:24 Dr. Diane Witt 3:27 [Comment From Cygnata Cygnata : ] Are there strong correlations between pheremonal responses and those attributed to love? In other words, do animal relationships that seem to include a high amount of emotional attachment also seem to be more strongly influenced by pheromones? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:27 Cygnata 3:27 Marc Bekoff: Many nonhumans use pheromones in all sorts of social communication and odor is often the most salient sense in their social encounters including strong social attachments that we can call love. Unfortunately, our noses aren't as sensitive as theirs and we lose all sorts of important information because of this. There's a large literature especially in rodents about the role of odor in courtship and bond formation that's readily available on the web. Your question is an important one because if we're to study other animals we need to know about their sensory capacities and not assume they're just like us, for they're not. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:27 Marc Bekoff 3:29 [Comment From Christopher Beattie Christopher Beattie : ] What role do the hippocampus and amygdala play, if any, in love and affection in animals? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:29 Christopher Beattie 3:29 Dr. Diane Witt: Yes the hippocampus plays an important role in social recognition and the amygdala is part of the limbic system that plays a role in reward pathways ensuring reinforcement of bonds, selective aggressive and defense behavors in mate guarding, and associated parental behavior. So these areas are key for the initiation and maintenance for social bonding and the expression of associated behaviors. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:29 Dr. Diane Witt 3:32 [Comment From Kathi Kowalski Kathi Kowalski : ] Following up on the heartbreak question--The examples cited deal with grief when a loved one dies. On the flip side, are there examples in the animal kingdom of one partner breaking up with another, thus causing heartbreak int he other partner? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:32 Kathi Kowalski 3:32 Marc Bekoff: This is a very good question. Of course it's hard to know what the term "breaking up" means (even in humans!) but we do see on occasion musical partners within a group and moping and grief being displayed by the individual who's dissed. Often it's hard to know what the former of lover is experiencing because they leave their group. On the other hand, because the integrity of a group such as a pack of wolves or coyotes depends on the number of individuals who are there to defend food, territory, or youngsters we see a rapid recovery because all the individuals are needed for the survival of the group. So, yes, heartbreak is deeply felt for nonhumans as it is for (some) humans. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:32 Marc Bekoff ... 3:35 [Comment From Amanda Amanda : ] You spoke earlier of gender differences playing a part in social bonding. Do you mean social differences or biological ones? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:35 Amanda 3:35 Dr. Diane Witt: Both. Parental behaviors (social differences) that differ as a function of the sex of the offspring in addition to biological differences during development may impact reponsivity to social encounters and behaviors in adulthood. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:35 Dr. Diane Witt 3:39 [Comment From Karin K. Karin K. : ] Does there seem to be a difference between how captive animals vs. non-captive animals feel and express love? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:39 Karin K. 3:39 Marc Bekoff: There really isn't that much difference in how love is expressed except in captivity animals are often handled and moved around as if they're unfeeling objects and they display deep grief when close friends and loved ones are taken from them. This is one of the main problems with zoos because animals are moved around as if their objects for profit with little to no concern for how they feel about being separated from close friends. There are many examples about which I write in my books and on Psychology Today. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:39 Marc Bekoff 3:42 [Comment From Rhoda Rhoda : ] Do you think that mirror neurons play an important role in social bonding or pair bonding? Does that role differ between humans and other animals? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:42 Rhoda 3:42 Dr. Diane Witt: It is possible that mirror neurons may play a role in social bonding, but it is equally possible that classical conditioning (think Pavlov's dog salivating after a bell rings) of oxytocin or vasopressin release could be involved in social bonding. A perfect example is the classical release of oxytocin that women experience when they are lactating and they hear a baby cry which induces milk letdown. In addition, the fine tuning of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system are key for maintaining the social bond. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:42 Dr. Diane Witt 3:46 [Comment From Sherry Marts Sherry Marts : ] How well do current research methods distinguish between what is going on within an animal's brain and what is going on in the researcher's brain - by which I mean anthropomorphizing the animal's behavior or even their biochemistry? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:46 Sherry Marts 3:46 Marc Bekoff: This is a great question. I think that the charge of being "too anthropomorphic" is way overblown in that we HAVE to use human terms to describe, interpret, and explain what other animals are feeling. Charles Darwin put for the notion of of evolutionary continuity arguing that the differences among species are differences in degree, rather than kind. So, the bumper sticker for continuity is "If we have something, "they" (other animals) have it too. WE ARE NOT INSERTING SOMETHING HUMAN IN OTHER ANIMALS THAT THEY DON'T HAVE. And across mammals we know that we all share the same structures in the limbic system that are important in feeling emotions. I've written about anthropomorphism being self-serving double-talk and refer you to an essay I wrote for Psychology Today on this. One more thing - most people including researchers now don't seem to worry that much about being anthropomorphic because when done carefully we really do learn a lot about other animals and also are very good at predicting their behavior. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:46 Marc Bekoff 3:51 [Comment From Jason H Jason H : ] In terms of a scientific understanding of emotions, what kind of advances do you see possibly coming in the next 5 to 10 years? Thursday February 9, 2012 3:51 Jason H 3:51 Dr. Diane Witt: Advances that allow us to explore the genetic and epigenetic underpinnings of emotions and what it means in terms of individual variability in behavior would offer insight into how social organizations might have evolved and how individuals survive. For humans, refinement of imaging techniques would allow for temporal resolution in understanding the neuroanatomy, neurocircuitry (optogenetics) and behavior associated with emotional responses. Such integrative approaches will require input from multiple scientific and engineering disciplines. ... 3:58 [Comment From Marty Zahn Marty Zahn : ] Going back to the question/answer about pheromones, you said that we lose out on a lot of information because our sense of smell is relatively poor. Do we have to be consciously aware of an odor (read pheromone) for it to influence our behavior. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:58 Marty Zahn 3:58 Marc Bekoff: Good follow-up Marty .,. No, we don't have to be conscious aware of an odor to show a response. Indeed, some suggest that a good deal of our behavior is influenced by stimuli of which we're consciously unaware. The important message is that we need to pay close attention to those senses that are most salient to other animals and not assume they're like us. Consider, for example, ultrasound in bats and infrasound in cetaceans and elephants. Thursday February 9, 2012 3:58 Marc Bekoff 4:01 [Comment From Karin K. Karin K. : ] Dr. Witt, you mentioned the classical example of the release of oxytocin that women experience when they are lactating and they hear a baby cry which induces milk letdown. Is it also possible that humans who feel a very high level of compassion for suffering animals (incl. human animals) have a larger release level of oxytocin [or other neural chemical(s)] that precedes this higher level of compassion? Likewise, is it possible that people who generally feel (and thus also express) a lower level of compassion for suffering animals are lacking sufficient levels of such neural chemicals? Thursday February 9, 2012 4:01 Karin K. 4:01 Dr. Diane Witt: Most of the research to date on the field of social bonding has focused on the process of bonding and the associated release of neurochemicals, but less is known about the object of the attachment. We know most about sign stimulus value of the offspring during the mother/infant bond, but it is difficult to factor in the role that compassion might play when exploring the human/animal bond. Research in this area is needed. ... Additional reading: Oozing toward love Swordtail fish pee aphrodisiac Successful flies make love, not war Today's Guests Marc Bekoff Marc Bekoff is professor emeritus of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology at the University of Colorado, Boulder. He has published many essays and books, including The emotional live of animals. His homepage is marcbekoff.com and with Jane Goodall, http://www.ethologicalethics.org/. Diane M. Witt Dr. Diane M. Witt has served for the last nine years as the Neural Systems Cluster leader and a Program Director at the National Science Foundation. Previously, she conducted neuroscience research at the National Institutes of Health and Binghamton University in upstate New York. Dr. Witt earned her PhD at the University of Maryland at College Park and her BS and MS at the University of Illinois at Urbana - Champaign.

Pentru un cuplu foarte fericit - Improspateaza-ti memoria

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Fri, 2 Mar 2012 05:33:00 -0800

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=Pentru+un+cuplu+foarte+fericit&b=&fr=ie8 10 ingrediente pentru un cuplu fericit 10 ingrediente necesare pentru un cuplu fericit: “Unde dragoste nu e, nimic nu e”… ... Apreciere – este foarte important sa ii arati celuilalt ca este valoros ... dli.ro/10-ingrediente-pentru-un-cuplu-fericit.html - Cached Sfaturi pentru o viata de cuplu mai fericita Fiecare cuplu, desi in fotografii arata foarte fericit si jovial, trece prin suisuri si coborasuri. ... De Maria-Joana - 2 aprilie 2011 05:25 PM. Pentru a avea un abdomen plat ... www.aaparut.ro/...pentru-o-viata-de-cuplu-mai-fericita/9912 - Cached Blogul lui Cambe: Reguli Pentru Un Cuplu Stabil Si Fericit Se stie ca pentru a forma un cuplu stabil si fericit e nevoie de timp si de reguli...Din experienta ... In oferta de la Europa Tr. scria foarte clar. Traseul pana in ... cambesteanu.blogspot.com/2011/08/reguli-pentru-un-cuplu... - Cached Cinci criterii pentru un cuplu fericit | Armonie feminina In toate traditiile, casatoria este considerata sacra. In crestinism, de exemplu, cuvantul „taina” (taina casatoriei) este un cuvant foarte puternic; nu este ... armoniefeminina.com/2010/06/23/cinci-criterii-pentru-un... - Cached Continenţa sexuală - o revoluţie pentru un cuplu fericit Continenţa sexuală - o revoluţie pentru un cuplu fericit • Florin MORAR ... Există, de fapt, o legătură foarte directă între potenţialul sexual ... www.glasul.ro/view_article.php?show=32959&name=Continent... - Cached Cuplu fericit, foarte fericit - Filme, Muzica, Video, Shows Cuplu fericit, foarte fericit. Imagini. Funny. El e cel mai fericit barbat.. ... Ele.ro Cum faci fata unei intalniri accidentale cu un fost iubit 6 sfaturi pentru a atinge ... www.220.ro/video/funny/Cuplu-Fericit-Foarte-Fericit/xY4... - Cached

Trebuie sa ai incredere in primul rand in tine

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Tue, 6 Dec 2011 03:18:00 -0800

Trebuie sa ai incredere in primul rand in tine ca vei castiga spornic, benefic, fara "varsare de sange" toate "razboaiele" iscate pentru iubitul partener si partenerul iubit va fi al tau intotdeauna. Surade rivalelor cu bunatate si caldura si vei invinge. Spune-le cum ai reusit tu si isi vor gasi si ele iubitii lor personali si fideli. Astfel vei avea incredere ca te vei bucura intotdeauna de fiinta si energia fidelului tau indragostit. Sa iubim continuu si neconditionat si vom muta muntii, vom invinge chiar si moartea. Fericirea o capatam cu ravna si rabdare. "Sa vedem barnele din ochii nostri" cu ajutorul celor bine intentionati si sa le eliminam. Sa avem perseverenta si rabdare in iubire, bunatate si ne vom bucura de tot ce e bun pe lumea aceasta si mai ales in cealalta.

Poliamorul unuia din cei mai bogati oameni:
Buffett married Susan Buffett (née Thompson) in 1952. They had three children, Susie, Howard and Peter. The couple began living separately in 1977, although they remained married until her death in July 2004. Their daughter, Susie, lives in Omaha and does charitable work through the Susan A. Buffett Foundation and is a national board member of Girls, Inc. In 2006, on his seventy-sixth birthday, Warren married his never-married longtime-companion, Astrid Menks, who was then 60 years old. She had lived with him since his wife's departure to San Francisco in 1977.^[61] It was Susan Buffett who arranged for the two to meet before she left Omaha to pursue her singing career. All three were close and Christmas cards to friends were signed "Warren, Susie and Astrid".^[62] Susan Buffett briefly discussed this relationship in an interview on the Charlie Rose Show shortly before her death, in a rare glimpse into Buffett's personal life.^[63]
^{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Buffett#Personal_life}

Fear of Commitment - Love is the Antidote - By Sandya Bruce

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Fri, 2 Dec 2011 21:14:00 -0800

Eu cred ca Tainele Procreerii si Casatoriei sunt antidotul. Rugaciunea si educatia sunt antidotul la orice temeri, frici.

---
Fear of Commitment - Love is the Antidote
By Sandya Bruce

There was
Something special
About the two of us
The time between us
It was beautiful
And what was
Between us
It was unmistakeable
What happened
Between us
It was purposeful

I drew close
You drew close
Then one day you said
"I am not emotionally available"
I was confused
Said I must walk away
For I was not sure
If it would break my heart
Or it would mend your heart
For I knew
Only the Divine Maker
Had the answer
That moment
You asked
"Must you throw
The baby with the bath water?"
Gently, I answered
"It did not matter what the outcome
Then lets go with the flow
And see what God does"
Over the weeks
And over the months
It was blissful
It was painful
For you would draw
Closer to me
Then you would withdraw
Further from me
Yet I drew closer
And closer to you
In spite of the pain
I perceived new things
Discerned matters
Beyond my comprehension
We figured out
You were fearful
Of commitment
And I was unafraid
Of abandonment
At least we seemed
A perfect team
We both agreed
Once again
To go with the flow
No matter what
The outcome
We communicated so well
Not once did we argue
Nor brought out the worst
In one another
All the while we cared for
Each other deeply
Of course at times
We agreed
To disagree
With utmost respect
Towards one another
Through the ups
And through the downs
In every challenge
We saw-into-the other
We understood
One another
So well
It was blissful
Intimacy
For the first time
We experienced
What it was meant by
Into-me-see
One weekend
We went far away
Spent more time together
And enjoyed our intimacy
To this day I would claim
That It was undoubtedly
The most wonderful time
I had in my life
It was heavenly
But it only took a week
Since our return
For you to say
Over the phone
That things were not right
And you must step out
I sensed your fear
It was tangible
I did not doubt
I understood
I had no more words
To say to you
Except "I understand"
Before I hung up
I felt the dagger
Go through me
The lump in my throat
Almost choking me
I resolved to withdraw
And give you space
The tears that gushed
You could not see
I sobbed through the night
At my Makers feet
I asked for HIS grace
To overcome
To forgive you
As if you owed me nothing
Once again you did call me
Asked me out
To discuss things
Wisdom spoke
Through my mouth
I challenged you
To sort things out
Until then
Not a hope for us
There is no
Fear in Love
The Maker says
God's perfect love
Drives away
All fear from us
I know it is true
For before you came
Into my life
I asked God
To help me love
As only He could love
You were my challenge
To prove that we could
Love passionately
And live fearlessly
Love is abandonment to self
Love is liberation of self
Love is being other centred
Love is not keeping a record
Of the wrong done
Love does not insist on its own way
Love bears all things
It always hopes
Always endures
Always forgives
Love never ends
It never fails
Real love is only possible
When you are
Christ centred
Love is
Not being afraid to love
Christ gave Himself
On The Cross of Calvary
Even when
There was no guarantee
That any one of us
Would return HIS love
I now know
That it is possible
That it is in our hands
If we so will in our hearts
To love like Christ
For His Spirit enables us
To love passionately
To live fearlessly
This is the adventure
Of love and life
The mystery of
The Christ and His Bride
Revealed in
The man and his wife
When two shall become one
Passionately committed
No matter what
Greater love has no other
Than the one who lays down
His life for the other
God's love is the antidote
To the fear of commitment

Sandya De Silva

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1243102

Oral sex makes pregnancies safer and more successful

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Mon, 7 Nov 2011 05:22:00 -0800

oral sex may not only help a woman conceive but may make her pregnancy safer and more successful.
The Australian study found that semen contains a growth factor which helps persuade a mother's immune system to accept sperm.
It claims to have found evidence that regular exposure before pregnancy, especially by mouth, helps her immune system get used to her partner's sperm.
Disorders during pregnancy often stem from the battle between the immune system and the foetus as a 'foreign body'.
Many of its 'foreign' proteins come courtesy of the father's genes so if the mother is regularly exposed to them her body is more likely to accept them.
Professor Gustaaf Dekker, from the University of Adelaide, said: "If there's repeated exposure to that signal then eventually when the woman conceives, her cells will say, 'we know that guy, he's been around a long time, we'll allow the pregnancy to continue."
New Scientist reports that Professor Dekker compared 41 pregnant women with pre-eclampsia, a condition where the mother's blood pressure soars during pregnancy, and 44 without.
He found 82% of those without the condition practised fellatio - only 44% of those with it did.
He says the protective effect was strongest if the woman swallowed the semen.
Now, when advising couples who have difficulty carrying pregnancies to full term, he says: "I tell them, 'semen exposure's good, and you could think of oral sex'."

Story filed: 19:00 Wednesday 6th February 2002

Casatoria: cand, cum, de ce?

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 03:52:00 -0700

http://www.scribd.com/doc/17736177/CASATORIA

Intr-o lume in care oscilam intre “deja” si “nu inca”, Casatoria este Taina care face ca familia sa devina Biserica domestica. Ispita suprema a Raiului pe pamant e ascunsa subtil in orice actiune umana: “Veti fi ca Dumnezeu”, adica veti avea si voi capacitatea de a genera viata. Dumnezeu incredinteaza parintilor sa creasca un copil al lui Dumnezeu, un frate al lui Hristos si un templu al Duhului Sfant. Sotii crestini, prin puterea Tainei Casatoriei, prin care ei semnifica misterul unitatii si dragostei rodnice dintre Hristos si Biserica si participa la acest mister, se ajuta reciproc sa ajunga la sfintenie in viata conjugala. Din aceasta unire provine familia, in care se nasc noi membri ai societatii umane, care prin harul Duhului Sfant sunt ridicati prin Botez la starea de fii ai lui Dumnezeu. In ceea ce se poate numi Biserica domestica (familiala), parintii trebuie sa fie pentru copiii lor – prin cuvant si exemplu – primii vestitori ai credintei. Sfantul Duh e numit “Paraclet”, Cel Care ne sta alaturi, ne intareste, ne mangaie, ne apara, ne asista, ne inspira adevarul si puterea; toate acestea sunt haruri. Nu trebuie sa uitam un adevar: Sfantul Duh a fost promis si trimis de Iisus sa asiste Biserica pana la sfarsitul veacurilor; Sfantul Duh e prezent in Biserica lui Hristos prin darurile si harurile Sale sfintitoare; El e Sfintitorul, Datatorul de viata. Tot ceea ce e crestin, daca e bine inteles, e pus sub semnul misterului Crucii lui Hristos. Pentru crestini exista un singur mod de a se mandri, si anume acela in Dumnezeu: “Cel care se mandreste, in Domnul sa se mandreasca”. E de mare importanta ca Harul sa ramana “harul nostru”, desi e in intregime dar divin, oferit într-un mod adaptat naturii noastre. “Iti ajunge harul Meu – zice Hristos Domnul – deoarece puterea Mea se arata deplin in neputinta” (2 Corinteni 12,9). “Cei ce sunt ai lui Hristos si-au rastignit trupul cu poftele sale; daca traim in Duhul, atunci sa ne conformam Duhului” (Galateni 5,24).

==
Casatoria: cand, cum, de ce?

Mirandolina.ro

importantul rezida in cuplu si interactiunea dintre cei doi, nu in amarata aia de bucata de hartie de la domnul primar.

...

E o presiune sociala atat de puternica sa te insori, sa intri in randul lumii, sa te aliniezi, incat oamenii fac asta ca pe o datorie, fara sa reflecteze la ceea ce inseamna de fapt casatoria, in spatele hartiei. Si asa se ivesc o gramada de cupluri nefericite, de povesti sordide sau pur si simplu de povesti de plictiseala in doi, de inselatorii si minciuni, de nerespect, de nepasare. Nu, va intrerup, va contrazic, va rog nu ganditi ca sunt prea idealista, stiu ca exista si alte modele de cuplu (caci am trait alte modele de cuplu, si voi alege intotdeauna sa intru in alte modele de cuplu).

Doar ca, din cauza presiunii sociale foarte puternice, in Romania oamenii aleg sa se insoare devreme, inainte de a reflecta prea bine la motive, la alegere, la persoana. Mi se pare un compromis teribil, pe care ei il fac, pe pielea lor, pentru societate, pentru gura lumii, pentru a fi conformi cu ceea ce se cere, ce se asteapta de la ei. Ca sa fie fericita tanti Maria, ca “am si eu un rost”. Merita? Merita sa te sacrifici pe tine insuti, sa-ti amanetezi viata, sa te trezesti langa cineva langa care nu ai ce cauta, doar pentru ca o tanti Maria generica crede ca asa e mai bine?
Uite asa ajung oameni care ar fi putut avea mult mai mult, in relatii nepotrivite. Uite asa ajung sa faca si copii, “pentru ca asa se face”, si sa petreaca o viata aiurea in care ajung sa se intrebe: “Ce caut eu in viata mea?”.

==
De ce se poarta inelul pe al treilea deget al mainii, denumit dupa aceasta traditie, inelar?
Asezarea verighetei pe al treilea deget al mainii stangi are la origine o credinta din Egiptul antic, conform careia vena dragostei stabilea o legatura directa intre inima si cel de-al treilea deget al mainii stangi. Un inel asezat pe acel deget era cel mai potrivi simbol al dragostei eterne.

http://www.descopera.ro/cultura/3668438-traditiile-de-nunta-in-jurul-lumii

==
Doua secrete pentru un mariaj fericit :
1.De fiecare data cand gresesti, recunoaste.
2.De fiecare data cand ai dreptate, taci.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/48203502/Cugetari-despre-casnicie

==
Drept online - Casatoria - notiune, impedimente

avocat Magdalena Popeanga
popeanga@dreptonline.ro

------------------------
Link util
Intreaba un avocat
------------------------

Motto:

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.
Andre Maurois

Din punct de vedere legal, casatoria este un act juridic incheiat de cei ce doresc sa se casatoreasca, iar pe de alta parte, situatia juridica a celor casatoriti [Ion Filipescu, Dreptul Familiei, Editurile ALL, pag. 13, 1998].
Casatoria este o uniune liber consimtita, monogama, ce se incheie in formele cerute de lege, cu scopul de a forma o familie, avand caracter civil.
Casatoria se intemeiaza pe deplina egalitate in drepturi intre barbati si femeie.

Conditii de fond pozitive sunt conditiile ce trebuie sa existe pentru a se putea incheia casatoria.
Acestea sunt:
diferenta de sex
varsta legala pentru casatorie. Legea stabileste varsta minima pentru casatorie: pentru barbat - 18 ani; pentru femeie - 16 ani; Cu dispensa de varsta pentru motive temeinice se poate casatori femeia de - 15 ani
consimtamantul sotilor la casatorie: liber, neviciat
comunicarea reciproca a starii de sanatate

Conditii de fond negative sunt conditiile ce nu trebuie sa existe pentru a se putea incheia casatoria. Deci casatoria se poate incheia numai daca ele nu exista. Se mai numesc si impedimente la casatorie sau piedici legale la casatorie.
Acestea sunt:
existenta unei casatorii nedesfacute a unuia dintre viitorii soti
rudenia: Casatoria este oprita intre rudele in linie directa, indiferent de gradul de rudenie, precum si intre rudele in linie colaterala pana la gradul 4 inclusiv. Rudenia este impediment indiferent daca este din casatorie sau din afara ei, fie ca a fost sau nu legal constatata.
adoptia: Este oprita casatoria intre adoptator, ascendentii lui si adoptat or descendentii lui; intre copii adoptatorului si adoptat si copii acestuia; intre persoanele adoptate de aceeasi persoana (in acest caz, exista si situatii de exceptie).
tutela
alienatia si debilitatea mintala

Poate fi de interes si:
OUG 80/2011 pentru modificarea si completarea Legii nr. 119/1996 cu privire la actele de stare civila. Ordonanta de Urgenta nr. 80/2011
Avocat pentru divort. Avocat divort
Motive de divort
Divort. Desfacerea casatoriei prin divort
Avocat partaj - partaj in Romania
Legea nr. 119/1996 cu privire la actele de stare civila, republicata 2009
Codul Familiei, actualizat 2009
Incheierea casatoriei unui cetatean roman in strainatate
Actiunea in stabilirea paternitatii din afara casatoriei
Rudenia. Rudenia fireasca, rudenia prin adoptie. Afinitate
Divortul in Romania
Lege nr. 288/2007 pentru modificarea si completarea Legii nr. 4/1953 - Codul familiei
Lege privind acordarea unui sprijin financiar la constituirea familiei, Legea nr. 396/2006
Norma metodologica de aplicare a prevederilor Legii nr. 578/2004 privind acordarea unui ajutor lunar pentru sotul supravietuitor, 2008
Codul Civil, actualizat

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https://picasaweb.google.com/109616390613631035008/LoveLoughIubireOrbireDeStralucire
pics

*==
moldovacrestina.net/casatorie

==
Care este vârsta potrivită să te căsătoreşti?

by Preot Vasile Filat on 13 august 2007

in Sfaturi Practice

    Класс!

Ieri am primit acet comentariu la articolul Cum se cere fata în căsătorie?

    De mult timp am vrut să aflu răspunsul la întrebările ce țin de acest subiect, căci nu știam cum se face pasul prin care se propune fetei căsătoria. Simt că nu voi putea fără să mă căsătoresc, dar încă nu îmi place o fată așa cum e scris la pct. 1. Mai am o întrebare – la ce vârstă este bine pentru un bărbat să se căsătorească? Eu am auzit de la o vaduvă creștină că nu e bine până la vârsta de 27 de ani – căci băiatul încă nu e serios și nu e copt la minte. Poate nu toți sunt așa și unii ar putea să se căsătorească înainte de vârsta aceasta. În ce mă privește pe mine, mi se pare ca eu nu sunt încă copt, căci sunt încă de multe ori neserios și naiv. Poate pentru mine e bine să mă gândesc la căsătorie nu mai degrabă de vârsta de 27 ani. Totuși, aș vrea să știu care ar fi vârsta cea mai bună.

În acest articol doresc să răspund la întrebarea pusă – Care este vârsta potrivită să te căsătoreşti?
1. Respectă legislaţia ţării tale în ce priveşte vârsta căsătoriei

Fiecare stat din lume are stabilită prin lege o vârstă pentru căsătorie şi de obicei, la bărbaţi se cere să aibă o vârstă mai mare decât cea a femeilor. Aceasta nu este neapărat din pricina că la bărbaţi se “coace mintea” mai greu, ci pentru că lor le revine responsabilitatea să întreţină material soţia şi copii, să ia decizii şi se aşteaptă maturitate. În Republica Moldova prin legislaţie, dacă nu mă înşel, se permite băieţilor să se căsătorească la vârsta de 18 ani şi fetelor la vârsta de 17 ani. Oamenii care au lurat la elaborarea acestei legislaţii şi-au asumat că la o astfel de vârstă un bărbat ar trebui să fie în stare să întreţină familia. În Sparta antică, bărbaţilor nu li se permitea să se căsătorească decât după ce împlineau vârsta de 30 de ani.
2. Dumnezeu nu a fixat o vârstă anumită pentru căsătorie în Sfintele Scripturi

Cu toate că Domnul este foarte specific în legile care le-a lăsat poporul Său Israel – nu există o lege care ar stabili vârsta căsătoriei. Sau, cel puţin, eu încă nu am găsit o astfel de lege. Totuşi, Dumnezeu ne relatează vârsta când s-au căsătorit unii bărbaţi ai credinţei.

    Moise, trecuse de 40 de ani când s-a căsătorit, pentru că Faptele Apostolilor ne spun că Moise “avea patruzeci de ani, când i-a venit în inimă dorinţa să cerceteze pe fraţii săi, pe fii lui Israel.” (Fapte 7:23). Numai după aceasta el a trebuit să fugă în Madian şi acolo s-a căsătorit cu fiica lui Ietro, preotul Madianului.
    Iosif “era în vârsta de treizeci de ani când s-a înfăţişat înaintea lui Faraon, împăratul Egiptului” (Genesa 41:26) Doar după aceasta Faraon “i-a dat de nevastă pe Asnat, fata lui Poti-Fera, preotul lui On.” (Genesa 41:45)
    Isaac “era în vârstă de patruzeci de ani, când a luat de nevastă pe Rebeca” (Genesa 25:20)

3. Nu te poţi căsători până nu-ţi dezvolţi capacitatea şi puterea de a întreţine soţia şi copiii

Cu părere de rău, aceasta nu înţeleg mulţi tineri, că fiecare bărbat are o capacitate anumită de a proteja şi a întreţine şi că trebuie să-şi dezvolte această capacitate. Biblia spune că “Dacă nu poartă cineva grijă de ai lui, şi mai ales de cei din casa lui, s-a lepădat de credinţă, şi este mai rău decât un necredincios.” (1 Timotei 5:8) Ceia ce eu numesc capacitate de a întreţine, este numit aici “a purta de grijă de ai săi” şi fiecare bărbat trebuie să dezvolte această capacitate, toată viaţa lui. Atenţie, nu se are în vedere sume de bani pe care cineva visează să le capete prin minune peste noapte, sau că va face o astfel de afacere şi repede se va îmbogăţi. Nu, în nici un caz nu aceasta are în vedere Cuvântul lui Dumnezeu. Capacitatea de a întreţine este capacitatea ta de a lucra ca să poţi câştiga, să poţi întreţine pe cei din casa ta şi să-i protejezi. Pentru aceasta, dragul meu, nu alerga undeva să câştiţi repede o sumă mare de bani pe care nu ştii cum să o administrezi, ci mergi să înveţi o specialitate, o profesie, o meserie. Numai atunci, când vei fi în stare să întemeiezi o familie.

Dumnezeu să te binecuvinteze ca să fii un bărbat matur în atitudini şi gândire ca să poţi intemeia o familie.
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==
Ce spune Biblia despre căsătoria cu un bărbat mai în vârstă?

by Preot Vasile Filat on 6 februarie 2010

in Căsătorie

    Класс!

Întrebare:

    Eu am 22 de ani şi el are 45. Ne cunoaştem de mult timp şi ne place unul de altul. Am făcut cunoştinţă în biserică. Chiar dacă este mai mare ca vârstă, este un bărbat tânăr în suflet. Suntem în relaţie de prietenie, dar diferenţa de vârstă mă îngrijorează şi cred că toate situaţiile trebuiesc abordate cu înţelepciune. Pentru mine cel mai mult contează calităţile lui spirituale, dar nu pot nesocoti relaţia noastră fizică din viitor. Mă gândesc, cum va fi când el va atinge vârsta de 70 de ani iar eu voi avea 47? Ce părere aveţi asupra acestui subiect?

Unirea fizică este o datorie

În Epistola I către Corinteni, Apostolul Pavel a scris:

    Bărbatul să-şi împlinească faţă de nevastă datoria de soţ; şi tot aşa să facă şi nevasta faţă de bărbat. Nevasta nu este stăpână pe trupul ei, ci bărbatul. Tot astfel, nici bărbatul nu este stăpân peste trupul lui, ci nevasta. Să nu vă lipsiţi unul pe altul de datoria de soţi, decât doar prin bună învoială, pentru un timp, ca să vă îndeletniciţi cu postul şi cu rugăciunea; apoi să vă împreunaţi iarăşi, ca să nu vă ispitească Satana, din pricina nestăpânirii voastre. (1 Corinteni 7:3-5)

Orice bărbat care întră în legământul căsătoriei trebuie să fie conştient că are să împlinească nevoile sexuale ale soţiei lui şi aceeaşi datorie o are orice femeie căsătorită faţă de soţul ei. Astfel, când te căsătoreşti, este important să te gândeşti la acest aspect ca să nu te pomeneşti în faţa unei realităţi dureroase pe care nu o poţi schimba cu nimic şi că expui pe celălalt la ispite din partea Satanei.
Despre puterea bărbătească a lui Avraam

Este un lucru cunoscut că vârsta afectează puterea şi capacităţile sexuale ale bărbaţilor. Dar, unor oameni Dumnezeu le dă sănătate şi putere chiar şi într-o vârstă mai înaintată. Patriarhului Avraam Dumnezeu i-a dat să poată concepe un copil doar la vârsta de 100 de ani şi, bineînţeles, aceasta a fost un miracol. Când i-a vestit îngerul lui Sara, soţia lui Avraam, despre faptul că va rămâne însărcinată…

    Sara a râs în sine, zicând: „Acum, când am îmbătrânit, să mai am pofte? Domnul meu, bărbatul, de asemenea, este bătrân.” (Geneza 18:12)

Cartea Genesa mai spune că după moartea lui Sara, prima lui soţie…

    Avraam a mai luat o nevastă, numită Chetura. Ea i-a născut pe Zimran, pe Iocşan, pe Medan, pe Madian, pe Işbac şi Şuah. (Geneza 25:1-2)

Acesta este o dovadă a puterii bărbăteşti a lui Avraam care era trecut deja de 100 de ani. Nu este indicată însă vârsta Cheturei.

...

Nu este bine să întri într-un legământ de căsătorie faţă de care ai anumite rezerve sau temeri. ...
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    Ce diferenţă de vârstă trebuie să fie între soţi?
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==
Ce diferenţă de vârstă trebuie să fie între soţi?

by Anastasia Filat on 11 octombrie 2009

in Sfaturi Practice

Întrebare:

...după cum ni se potriveşte…mai mare, mai mic?

În Biblie nu scrie la ce vârstă să ne căsătorim, ce diferenţă de vârstă trebuie să fie între bărbat şi femei sau că bărbatul numaidecât trebuie să fie mai mare decât femeia. Reguli de genul acesta au fost stabilite de societate, pe parcursul secolelor şi ele diferă de la ţară la ţară şi de la generaţie la generaţie. De exemplu, dacă cu 100 de ani în urmă, o fată necăsătorită până la 19 ani era considerată fată bătrână, atunci în zilele noastre dacă o fată se căsătoreşte până la 19 ani se consideră că s-a căsătorit prea devreme. Totuşi, în ce priveşte diferenţa de vârstă între soţ şi soţie, psihologii şi medicii au părerile lor şi au şi argumente în favoarea acestor păreri.

La drept vorbind întrebare dată m-a mirat foarte mult, fiindcă pe acest portal, deja, sunt plasate două articole la acest subiect şi care nici pe departe nu promovează ceea ce ne reproşează doamna. Iată care sunt articolele: Ce spune biblia despre căsătoria în care bărbatul este mai tânăr decât femeia şi Care este vârsta potrivită să te căsătoreşti.
Articole similare:

    Ce spune Biblia despre căsătoria în care bărbatul este mai tânăr decât femeia?
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    Când sexul între soţi devine un păcat?
    Ce spune Biblia despre căsătoria cu un bărbat mai în vârstă?
    Care este diferenţa între cele 10 porunci şi Legea Vechiului Testament?

==
Pics:
https://picasaweb.google.com/109616390613631035008/LoveLoughIubireOrbireDeStralucire

Sperma este un bun antidepresiv - contine hormoni care influenteaza direct starile emotionale: estrogen, testosteron, lutropina, prolactina si prostaglandine

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 14:45:00 -0700

http://www.unica.ro/detalii-articole/articole/beneficiile-lichidului-seminal-2955.html
http://www.profadesex.com/tag/sperma/

Femeile care fac sex fara prezervativ si isi lasa partenerul sa ejaculeze in interiorul vaginului sunt mai putin predispuse la depresii si migrene! De ce ? Pentru ca sperma contine hormoni care influenteaza direct starile emotionale: estrogen, testosteron, lutropina, prolactina si prostaglandine.
In plus, pentru barbati este o imensa placere sa ejaculeze in interiorul partenerei lor, iar satisfactia este mult mai mare atunci cand ejacularea nu are loc intr-un prezervativ. De ce? Pentru ca instinctul de posesiune este mult mai mare!
Atentie insa! Nu incurajez sexul neprotejat! Poti renunta la prezervativ doar atunci cand aveti amandoi analizele la zi si sunteti impreuna de mai mult timp! Daca nu vrei nici sa ramai insarcinata, evident trebuie sa folosesti anticonceptionale.

==
Sperma - plina de vitamine si ... calorii

http://www.apropo.ro/sexpertul/sperma-plina-de-vitamine-si-putine-calorii-2376430

Fiecare cantitate de sperma ejaculata contine 5-7 calorii, fructoza, apa, vitamina C, acid citric, enzime, proteine si zinc.

V-ati intrebat pana acum ce contine acest lichid care dezgusta unele femei? Daca nu stiti, aflati ca fiecare cantitate de sperma ejaculata (intre 300 si 500 de milioane de spermatozoizi) contine 5-7 calorii, fructoza, apa, vitamina C, acid citric, enzime, proteine si zinc. O adevarata resursa de vitamine. Consistenta ei se poate asemana cu un ou crud.

Gustul spermei difera de la barbat la barbat, dar si de moment. Alimentatia (si bauturile fie alcoolice sau acide) joaca un rol important in gustul si mirosul spermei. De exemplu, la un barbat ce mananca multa carne si condimentat va transmite acest gust si spermei, care va fi mai acida. La vegetarieni, gustul va fi unul mai dulceag sau chiar fara gust. Consumul de apa joaca un rol foarte important in consistenta ei.

==
Află cum trebuie să te pregăteşti pentru jocul cu sperma, ce ar fi bine să ştii despre ejacularea masculină şi care sunt variantele erotice în care poate avea orgasm iubitul tău.

Iată ce pregătiri preced jocul cu sperma!

În mod tradiţional, bărbatul foloseşte un prezervativ şi îşi dă drumul în interiorul partenerei, lucru care îi fereşte pe amândoi de contactarea unei boli cu transmitere sexuală. Jocul cu sperma implică să renunţaţi la prezervativ, aşa că, deşi nu este deloc sexy sau romantic, trebuie să vorbiţi despre bolile venerice şi să vă asiguraţi că sunteţi cu analizele la zi.

Trecând de la aspectul fizic la cel psihologic, pasul doi ar fi să renunţi la stereotipurile legate de jocul cu sperma generate, în mare parte, de filmele porno. Jocul cu sperma nu înseamnă că îl laşi să te folosească, iar el profită pentru că este un egoist, care te vede doar ca pe un obiect sexual. Atâta timp cât relaţia voastră este una trainică, câteva variaţiuni în timp ce el ejaculează nu vă denigrează relaţia şi nici pe tine. Dimpotrivă! Iubitul tău se va simţi măgulit că eşti dispusă să accepţi orice parte din el şi va vedea momentul ejaculării intim şi erotic în acelaşi timp.

http://www.unica.ro/detalii-articole/articole/jocul-cu-sperma-ejaculeaza-orgasm-5869.html

==
Cat traiesc spermatoizii in aer?

http://www.sexpert.ro/forum/viata_sexuala/cat_traiesc_spermatoizii_in_aer.html

...
Spermatozoizii din sperma au mobilitate doar in fluidele naturale. Pot trai pana la 5 zile in caile genitale si foarte putin in afara lor (pana in 30 de minute). Daca, totusi, o parte din sperma (lichidul seminal) a ajuns in vagin exista riscul aparitiei unei sarcini.

==
E posibil sa ramai insarcinata daca o faci in apa la Mare?

Daca ai impresia ca prezervativul te protejeaza si sub apa, te inseli... e cat se poate de riscant sa-ti pui increderea in el. Poate ca iti stric de tot cheful de a face sex in apa cu un 'aproape necunoscut' intalnit la malul marii, cum nu ti-ai fi refuzat pentru concediul ce va sa vina. Totusi, fara protectie impotriva bolilor cu transmitere sexuala, parca nici nu mai merita, nu?

Asa ca, fie vorba intre noi, fetele, mai bine o faci cu prezervativ si cu picioarele pe pamant sau in apa cu partenerul stabil cu care iti permiti luxul de a folosi doar anticonceptionale pentru protectie.

Cand vine vorba de apa din piscine sau din jacuzzi, mai trebuie sa stii si ca substantele de tratare a apei, produsele cosmetice sau temperatura ridicata a apei scad eficienta prezervativului. Nu mai zic de riscul de alunecare, in contact cu apa. Apropo, stiai ca prezervativele nu sunt testate si nici menite sa asigure protectia sub apa?

http://www.tpu.ro/dragoste-si-sex/e-posibil-sa-ramai-insarcinata-daca-o-faci-in-apa-la-mare-nu-vreau-eu-sa-o-fac-o-prietena-de-a-mea-vrea-eu-i-am-spus-ca/

==
spermatozoizii nu pot trai in apa din cada. Ei seamana oarecum cu mormolocii, dar nu au nici pe departe asemenea rezistenţă.

http://forum.romedic.ro/prod/Spermatozoizii_pot_trai_in_apa?_044038.html

--
sex, barbati, fara ejaculare
05-06-2010, ora 14:40
Autor: daniel6
salut

daca un barbat face sex cu o femeie si barbatul nu ejaculeaza, poate deveni o problema pentru el ?
in intrebare nu ma refer la probleme cu ejacularea ci doar daca nu ejaculeaza (daca nu termina). cu alte cuvinte el ramane cu sperma el si nu o da afara. ma gandesc ca daca ramane acolo nu e de bine.
1 comentarii/raspunsuri
06-06-2010, ora 14:40
Autor: M.D. | Dr. Mihnea DRAGOMIR - Medicina de familie, Bucuresti
Cabinetul Medical Doctor Dragomir
Nu este nici o problema. Preaplinul de sperma care s-ar forma intr-un astfel de caz este eliminat lent prin urina. Frecvent se gasesc spermatozoizi la examenul sumar de urina.

==
Scientia.ro - stiri stiinta si tehnologie - Cat traieste un spermatozoid?

Cat timp traieste un spermatozoid in corpul barbatului si ce se intampla cu spermatozoizii morti in cazul unei persoane care nu ejaculeaza, exemplu un calugar?
...
Sperma se ejaculeaza treptat prin urina, nu ramane in testicul. Iti dai drumu cand visezi ... .

==
What is Normal Sperm Count?

Around half of the infertility problems encountered by couples are caused by male infertility. The most common form of male infertility is a low sperm count.

“Normal” sperm count, as defined by the World Health Organization, is characterized by:

* The concentration of spermatozoa should be at least 20 million per ml.
* The total volume of semen should be at least 2ml.
* The total number of spermatozoa in the ejaculate should be at least 40 million.
* At least 75 per cent of the spermatozoa should be alive (it is normal for up to 25 per cent to be dead).
* At least 30 per cent of the spermatozoa should be of normal shape and form.
* At least 25 per cent of the spermatozoa should be swimming with rapid forward movement.
* At least 50 per cent of the spermatozoa should be swimming forward, even if only sluggishly.

These numbers amount to averages; Having a sperm count below these numbers does not guarantee that a man will be unable to father a child; likewise, having a sperm count higher than these numbers does not guarantee that a man will be able to father a child.

There are a variety of factors that can cause low sperm count, including stress, genetic causes, nutritional deficiencies, the use of prescription or illicit drugs, obesity, varicoceles, infections, and smoking.

Newer reproductive techniques, such as artificial insemination, may help couples in which the man has a low sperm count to become pregnant. Changes in diet and nutrition, as well as vitamins and natural supplements, may help sperm count as well.

Does Having Sex A Lot Cause Low Sperm Count?

Low sperm count is a problem that affects many men. Roughly half of the infertility problems encountered by couples are caused by male infertility. The most common form of male infertility is a low sperm count.

“Normal” sperm count, as defined by the World Health Organization, is characterized by:

- The concentration of spermatozoa should be at least 20 million per ml.

- The total volume of semen should be at least 2ml.

- The total number of spermatozoa in the ejaculate should be at least 40 million.

- At least 75 per cent of the spermatozoa should be alive (it is normal for up to 25 per cent to be dead).

- At least 30 per cent of the spermatozoa should be of normal shape and form.

- At least 25 per cent of the spermatozoa should be swimming with rapid forward movement.

- At least 50 per cent of the spermatozoa should be swimming forward, even if only sluggishly.

These numbers amount to averages; Having a sperm count below these numbers does not guarantee that a man will be unable to father a child; likewise, having a sperm count higher than these numbers does not guarantee that a man will be able to father a child.

There are a variety of factors that can cause low sperm count, including stress, genetic causes, nutritional deficiencies, the use of prescription or illicit drugs, obesity, varicoceles, infections, and smoking.

How frequently a man has sex can impact his sperm count. A man’s body does need to have time to replenish his supply of sperm. Experts are not entirely agreed on the amount of time it takes for a man to rebuild this supply, and the time may vary from man to man as well. Most researchers suggest that a man ejaculate no more than once every day and a half, or 36 hours, when they are trying to conceive.

However, you may be surprised to know that having sex too infrequently can also impact a man’s fertility. Sperm that have been produced more recently tend to have better motility and normality. Over time, sperm that has been produced but not released may lose its vitality. Waiting more than a week before ejaculating may result in poorer quality sperm.

How To Increase Sperm Count

There are several things that may help increase sperm count, including:

* Exercise. Regular exercise will help reduce stress, but be careful. Excessive exercise can cause harm, as can certain exercises that may negatively impact the testicles, such as bicycling.
* Ejaculating less often. The more often a man ejaculates, the less dense the semen will be. Maintain a gap of three days between ejaculations.
* Refrain from smoking and drinking alcohol.
* Massage body with herbal oil, which may improve blood circulation.
* Have sex in the early morning or afternoon. It is believed that sperm levels are often highest in the morning.
* Avoid tight underwear, saunas, and whirlpools, all of which may increase the temperature of the testicles.
* Use natural supplements and vitamins that may assist with sperm count.
* Maintain a high protein, low fat diet, rich in vegetables and whole grains. Avoid bitter and spicy foods.

There are also a variety of vitamin supplements that may assist with low sperm count. They include:

* Vitamin E
* Vitamin B12 Selenium
* Zinc Arginine
* Carnitine
* Honey, eat almond and milk

There are several dietary measures that a man who has a low sperm count can take to attempt to increase his sperm count, including:

* Eat a diet that includes whole, unprocessed foods. The best foods for health in general, and also for sperm count problems, are whole grains, legumes, vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds.
* Eliminate alcohol intake. In addition to the general nutritional benefits of avoiding alcohol, avoiding alcohol may also assist with sexual performance issues.
* Identify and avoid food allergies.
* Raw sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds have been shown to help with male fertility. It is recommended that a man with a low sperm count eat 1/4 cup of raw sunflower or pumpkin seeds each day.
* Drink at least 48 ounces of water every day.
* When possible, try to eat organic foods. Some studies suggest a connection between chemical fertilizers and pesticides with both male and female infertility.

Poezii de Dragoste

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 14:41:00 -0700

ITI MULTUMESC! - Directia 5

Fiindca esti cu mine, iti multumesc!
La rau si la bine iti multumesc!
Pentru gestu-n sine ca m-ai ales,
Dintre toti, pe mine, iti multumesc!
Pentru bunatate iti multumesc,
Si sinceritate iti multumesc,
Pentru felu-n care imi spui "te iubesc!"
Plin de simplitate,
Pentru aceste toate daruri minunate
ITI MULTUMESC!

Pentru frumusete iti multumesc,
Pentru tinerete iti multumesc,
Mie oferite pur si firesc
Dup-atata vreme
Eu le simt eterne
Asta vrand sa-nsemne
Ca-ti multumesc!

Pentru felu-n care imi spui "te iubesc!"
Plin de simplitate
Pentru aceste toate daruri minunate
ITI MULTUMESC!

Fiindca esti cu mine, iti multumesc
La rau si la bine, iti multumesc
Pentru gestu-n sine ca m-ai ales
Dintre toti pe mine
ITI MULTUMESC!
Pentru felu-n care imi spui "te iubesc!"
Plin de simplitate
Pentru asceste toate daruri mïnunate
ITI MULTUMESC!

http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=A0oGdU9RxK1O1g4A6OFXNyoA?p=Directia%205%20ITI%20MULTUMESC&fr2=sb-top&fr=moz35

Parintii sa nu-si implice copiii in conflicte de loialitate

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 13:20:00 -0700

http://www.psiholife.ro/family-life.php?art=30&page=1

Parintii divortati trebuie sa realizeze ca cel mai pretios cadou pe care il pot oferi copiilor lor este permisiunea de a fi la fel de apropiati si de celalalt parinte. Pentru a satisface nevoia copilului de a avea o relatie continua cu celalalt parinte, cel dintai trebuie sa renunte la ostilitatea pe care o manifesta fata de fostul sot. Bunicii pot ajuta prin faptul ca nu vor lua partea fostei nore sau fostului ginere si, in schimb, vor descuraja parintii sa-si implice copiii in conflicte de loialitate. Prietenii pot sprijini identitatea tatalui ca parinte prin sublinierea importantei pe care o are contributia lui in viata copiilor si importanta pe care o au copiii in oferirea unui nivel calitativ superior vietii lui. O noua femeie in viata lui trebuie sa-i incurajeze eforturile de a ramane implicat in viata copiilor si sa nu interpreteze acest atasament fata de copii ca o legatura amenintatoare cu fosta lui sotie.

Altii, din afara cercului de familie si prieteni, pot ajuta de asemenea. Consilierii pot ajuta parintii divortati sa elaboreze planuri concrete pentru custodie si aranjamente in ceea ce priveste efectuarea vizitelor, inca din timpul divortului, asigurand tatilor o participare activa ca parinte. Profesorii pot sa abordeze tatii divortati invitandu-i personal sa participe la sedinte cu parintii si la alte activitati scolare si pot trimite prin posta fisa cu rezultatele scolare si instiintarile ambilor parinti. Avocatii de familie trebuie se descurajeze parintii aflati in litigiu sa isi dispute copiii in sala de judecata; in schimb ei ar trebui sa sublinieze faptul ca de fiecare data cand un parinte castiga custodia si impune restrictii de acces celuilalt parinte, copiii sufera cel mai mult, nu fostul sot. Judecatorii trebuie sa demitizeze primatul mamelor la custodie si sa recunoasca faptul ca intotdeauna copiii apartin in mod egal atat mamelor cat si tatilor.
Desi aceste planuri trebuiesc adaptate circumstantelor fiecarei familii, ele trebuie sa garanteze ambilor parinti un rol activ de parinte. Daca tatal prefera ca mama sa primeasca custodia, el ar trebui sa primeasca dreptul la un acces generos, care ar include petrecerea unor nopti impreuna in timpul saptamanii, decat vizitele alternative de week-end care submineaza relatia dintre tata si copil.
Multi tati recunosc si intampina cu placere faptul ca responsabilitatile lor fata de copiii continua si dupa divort. Totusi, fara depunerea eforturilor sugerate mai sus, multi tati nu vor fi capabili sa-si asume un rol efectiv de parinte prin propriile lor puteri. Perioada divortului este un timp pentru fiecare sa colaboreze si sa se asigure ca acesti copii vor avea parte atat de mama cat si de tata dupa terminarea divortului.

Autor: Psiholog Iulia Florea

Amor cu si in siguranta

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 06:44:00 -0700

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexually_transmitted_disease#Transmission_probability
Ideally, both partners should get tested for STIs before initiating sexual contact, or before resuming contact if a partner engaged in contact with someone else.
...One kind of complication involves spreading the virus particles from the location of an outbreak to other places on the body by touching the infection. ...Preventing self-infection is simple. Do not touch the area during an outbreak. If you do, wash your hands as soon as possible with soap and warm water. This will help prevent the virus from spreading further.
...Medical professionals suggest washing the hands before contact with the vagina, to avoid spreading bacteria and causing infections. Worthy of special attention is the washing of hands after any finger contact with the anus, to avoid the spread of bacteria from the anus to the vagina.

Safer :-) :
E masturbarea solutia la diferenta de libidou in cuplu? E mai buna abstinenta? Sau o combinatie?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation#Techniques
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_electrostimulation
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/76521123/Guide-to-the-Female-Electro-Orgasm

Controversat:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_magic
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ida_Craddock#Indictments
http://www.idacraddock.com/bridegrooms.html

Cursul Yoga al MISA - nu merita decat daca ai ff. mult timp, e incomplet, are si multa umplutura nefolositoare

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Sat, 8 Oct 2011 03:35:00 -0700

http://www.observatordebacau.ro/2011/10/03/curs-de-yoga-la-bacau.html

...Pe site-ul oficial al MISA se anunta deschiderea unui nou curs de yoga al MISA in Bacau: http://www.yogaesoteric.net/content.aspx?lang=RO&item=6787. Conferinţa de deschidere a cursului de YOGA de anul I din BACĂU va avea loc vineri, 7 octombrie 2011, de la ora 18:00. Intrarea este liberă. Informaţii suplimentare la telefon: 0746 846 470 sau e-mail: ombun_bacau@yahoo.com. Cursurile de YOGA de anul I se vor desfăşura săptămânal, în fiecare sâmbătă, de la ora 9:00, începând din 8 octombrie 2011. Prima lună de curs este gratuită.

...

pe scurt cu ce se ocupa defapt MISA sub paravanul yoga. Inregistrarile video le puteti viziona aici:
http://www.youtube.com/user/MisaAndExmisa#p/u/5/wEzRC1-CPZc (6 clipuri)
http://www.trilulilu.ro/secte/00e3532661f3ce
http://www.trilulilu.ro/secte/e98031810cc36e.

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Sa-i cunoastem pe adevaratii autori ai cursurilor Misa (1) | Blogul lui Mihai Rapcea

cursurile si brosurile MISA sunt de fapt plagiate dupa autori straini

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În anul 2007, mai multe cursante yoga au descoperit că au ajuns actrițe porno fără voie^[6]. Imagini intime, în care fetele participau la o așa-zisă probă de inițiere (orgasmul urinar) au fost vândute de catre MISA unei case de producție de filme porno din Occident^[6]. Orgasmul urinar era numit „proba secretă” a concursului de frumusețe Miss Shakti organizat anual de MISA la Costinești, și urma să fie vizualizat doar de către Gregorian Bivolaru, care alegea câștigătoarele^[6]^[7]^[8].

http://ro.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mi%C8%99carea_de_Integrare_Spiritual%C4%83_%C3%AEn_Absolut

Could copulance be a hidden weapon in women's armory of attraction? Men seem to lose all ability to think clearly when exposed.

noreply@blogger.com (Vale Spa) — Tue, 6 Sep 2011 05:17:00 -0700

Learn more from Discovery Channel's "The Science of Sex Appeal."
Science of Sex Appeal: Female Copulance
http://videos.howstuffworks.com/discovery/35984-science-of-sex-appeal-female-copulance-video.htm