My colleague, Martha Duesterhoft wrote a great blog recently on humility in leadership. One of those characteristics, she asserted, was listening intently — listening more and speaking less. That bears repeating. Listen more and speak less. But I’d like to go one step further.

Not often does a pithy self-help post on Facebook stop me in my tracks, but I saw one the other day that did. A simple question: Are you listening to understand, or are you listening to reply?

I consider myself a good listener, but guilty. Oh, so guilty. Before you’ve gotten to the verb, I’m thinking about my clever comeback, spilling out my brilliant idea, or giving you my advice. I’m responding in rapid fire mode. How often have I re-read an email after responding and thought that I missed the point entirely? Or, how often have I been asked a question, and realize I was too busy formulating my answer to have listened to the last part?

It may be that we are trying to pack an hour’s worth into 15 minutes, and it just seems more efficient if we can get to the point– our point. Or it may be that we place a higher value on our thoughts and ideas than those of others. (Again, see Martha’s blog about inflated self-worth). Whatever the reason, failing to listen fully causes inefficiency and resentment. And it sends a message about how you value yourself relative to the speaker.

Here are some tips to keep the pre-mature “reply” button at bay:

1. Ask questions.

2. Listen to the answers to those questions and ask further questions.

3. Restate the speaker’s points for understanding.

4. Only then formulate your thoughts and give a response or ask for time to consider what the speaker has said.

5. Be willing to concede a point or change direction. “My first inclination was to _____, but I see what you’re saying.”

Barbara Milhizer is working on being a better listener. You can reach her at bmilhizer@people-results.com or on twitter @mother_zen. Sign up to receive her and her colleagues’ blog at Current.

In our world of “selfies” and social media apps to facilitate telling the world about our everythought and how we spend our time, it’s not shocking that humility is a characteristic often in short supply.

I recently read the College Board, that administers the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) taken by millions of high school students each year, shows evidence of an over inflated opinion of ourselves. On that test there are a number of questions other than Math and English which the students are asked to answer.

For example, they are asked to evaluate their leadership ability, where 70% of students rated themselves as above average in leadership, and only 2% as below average. When it comes to athletics 60% percent rated themselves as above average while only 6% rated below average. In rating how easy they are to get along with, 25% said they were in the top one percent, 60% said they were in the top ten percent, and absolutely no one said they were below average in being easy to get along with.

Huh.

Let’s be clear. This is not necessarily a generational issue. I’ve worked with a number of executives (in my age range and older) who think they are all that and a bag of chips … if you know what I mean.

Most say, “you have to see yourself as successful and believe in yourself.” I understand that a good self-esteem and confidence in our abilities are important for success, but that doesn’t equate to arrogance and self-importance.

A quote from one of my favorites, C.S. Lewis, sums it up nicely,  “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” 

Here are my thoughts about what components must be present for humility to exist:

1. Good self-esteem – knowing you are worthy
2. Solid self-awareness – knowing your strengths and a realistic assessment of accomplishments and areas for development…recognition of not knowing it all
3. Desire for on-going self-development

These are not characteristics you can fake. What the world sees in our observable behaviors is a reflection of what’s inside – our core values.

So what are two behaviors that leaders with humility demonstrate consistently?

1. They ask great, thought-provoking questions
2. They listen intently to the responses to those questions

Asking questions, genuinely seeking to understand and learn, suggests that “I don’t know everything”. Additionally, it shows an interest in the thoughts and contributions of the team, implying to the team members they are worthy and the leader can learn FROM them.

Intently listening creates energy and encourages others to share knowledge and imagination answering those “what if”/”what would you do” questions.

We’ve all had the experience of “feeling heard” vs. having a conversation with someone who is interrupting to share their perspective or clearly focused on something else other than our conversation.

Remember what that feels like? Offer the gift of your full attention to someone else.

OK – time for a bit of honest self-reflection.

• What percentage of time to you spend making statements vs. the time you spend asking questions?
• What percentage of time do you spend listening vs. speaking?

If your mouth is getting more exercise than your ears … shut your pie hole!

The humble leader is:

• Comfortable in their skin without having to be the center of attention
• Inquisitive, curious and eager to learn from others
• Demonstrates their competence through contribution and results, not by talking about their brilliance
• Thrilled to give others credit & recognition

Interesting … when someone is truly humble, not seeking the spotlight, is what makes them truly stand out!

Image Credit -Sevimel.

Martha Duesterhoft is a Partner with PeopleResults. Follow her on Twitter @mduesterhoft or connect via email at mduesterhoft@people-results.com.

Alexandra is celebrating the 10th anniversary of “They Don’t Teach Corporate in College.” Help her celebrate!

Once upon a time, I spent huge amounts of time worrying about the past and the future. I worried when something bad happened, and I worried that something bad was going to happen. Then, one day, I visited my grandmother in the hospital. After we talked a while about my anxiety, my grandmother told me that I was wasting energy, because most of the things we worry about never come to pass. I decided to do a little experiment. I went home and wrote down all of the things I was worried about. A month later, I looked at the list and laughed.

The worrisome things that had occurred were already just innocuous memories, and most of the other things had never happened. My grandmother was right. I was wrecking my mental and physical health for virtually no reason at all!

You can only control the moment you’re in right now.

Because you can’t change the past and you don’t know what the future holds, what’s the use of worrying about them? As Robert Louis Stevenson once wrote, “Let’s be content to live the only time we can possibly live: from now until bedtime. Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall.” You’d be surprised how negative energy diminishes when you focus solely on the moment at hand. After all, doesn’t any problem seem surmountable when you look at it from the vantage point of taking one small step at a time? Now don’t get me wrong: you should absolutely prepare for your future as best you can. But once you’ve done everything possible to increase the likelihood of a positive outcome, let go of your anxiety.

One summer, I worried obsessively about landing an agent to represent my novel. Every day as I drove home during my lunch break to check the mailbox for agent responses, my blood pressure zoomed into the stratosphere. Several weeks later, I finally recognized that my worry was out of control, and I talked about it with my husband, who is a psychologist.

He said that I should consider the worst-case scenario and resign myself to accepting that outcome if necessary. I took his advice and imagined that I couldn’t find an agent, and that my novel would never be published. I then brainstormed ways to improve the situation. This was a hard pill to swallow at first, but I actually felt better once my mind was purged of all the what-ifs. Free from worry, I was able to concentrate rationally on new strategies for obtaining an agent.

Just because you refuse to worry about a problem doesn’t mean you are denying its existence. I’m just suggesting that you skip the part in which you play out a thousand variations of the same drama in your head. As soon as you become aware of a problem, consider the best way to approach the issue rationally. Make a careful decision based on facts, take action and then consider the matter over and done.

There are always going to be bumps in the road, and if you think about it, there’s no end to the things you could worry about. Remember, though, that those who break the habit of worrying live happier, longer lives. From a practical perspective, they’re more productive, because they spend time resolving issues rather than fretting over them. They’re also more pleasant to be around, because they’re not constantly surrounded by a cloud of negativity.

When you consider all of these benefits, why wouldn’t you want to stop worrying?

It was great at first. I admired your skills, work-ethic and amazing productivity. I got a rush from your energy and wanted to be just like you: the fast-tracker.

You were the superstar up-and-coming leader who was everywhere, who did everything and who knew everyone. I do appreciate all you’ve taught me.

And I’ve gone faster and farther in my career by drafting behind you.

But I have to tell you …

1. I have priorities other than just work, but that doesn’t mean I’m not committed to my work.

I want to be able to make commitments outside of work – like eating dinner with my family, putting my kids to bed, seeing a movie with a friend or volunteering at the food bank. I like working, and I like other things, too. I no longer want to work 24/7 – like you do. I’m tired of skipping exercise and cancelling dinners, vacations and other outside commitments “until things slow down.” (They never slow down.)

2. I don’t have to do my career the way you do to be successful.

Maybe I won’t get promoted as quickly. That’s ok. My definition of success is broader than career achievement, and I will be unsuccessful overall in life if I focus only on work.

3. You stress me out and everyone around you.

I have a high standard of excellence and put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve it. But your expectations – for yourself and others – are way over the top. Do you really think it’s reasonable to email me regularly at 9pm and expect a response that night? And working 12+ hour days is ok in an occasional crunch mode, but that’s not a normal way of operating. You go beyond creating a sense of urgency to a stench of urgency.

4. You are on a path to crash and burn.

You are a heart attack or nervous breakdown waiting to happen. I’m also afraid you will sacrifice time with your spouse and kids one too many times and permanently damage those relationships. And I’m heading for the same crash unless I get off this crazy train.

5. You are burning out me and others.

How many people need to leave your team before you get it? And how long will you tell yourself, “they didn’t measure up?” Look in the mirror for the main cause of your stress, retention, employee engagement and recent productivity problems. Even if you can sustain your approach without self-destructing, you can’t run your organization like this for the long term and expect good results on a “balanced scorecard.”

I also need to tell you that I will not be working this weekend. (Why do I feel guilty telling you that I’m not working this weekend?!) I found a new job in another city and will be out of town house-hunting. Please consider this my two weeks notice.

Image Credit

Joe Baker is a Partner with PeopleResults. As a leadership consultant and executive coach, he helps senior leaders succeed in work while staying off the crazy train. You can reach him at jbaker@people-results.com or on Twitter @JoeBakerJr. 

“My managerial team needs to be more strategic. I have managers who are fine at executing, but they are not strategic.”

Clearly articulating what those managers should be doing to be more strategic is often difficult.

What is strategy? What does it look like? What does it sound like?

Part of the issue is the nebulous nature of the word strategy.

According to Donald Hambrick and James Fredrickson in The Academy of Management Executive, “Strategy has become a catchall phrase to mean whatever one wants it to mean.”

The difference between strategic and tactical

In Six Ways to Grow Your Job, Herminia Ibarra believes a majority of people would like to approach their work more strategically “but don’t do so because they don’t know what doing strategy really means.” (Or don’t see the benefits or get rewarded for doing so.)

The strategic person asks what should we be doing and why, which markets and segments will be critical in the future, how will we differentiate ourselves, what trends will impact how we do business, what is happening in the world and how does that apply to our business/my team?

The tactical person asks what resources, plans, decisions, processes and activities need to be in place and/or executed to support the strategy?

There is no right or wrong. Better or worse.

Strategy and tactics must work together or else the organization/team flounders.  Strategy without tactics results in visionary thinking and little action. Tactics without strategy results in disorder.

Too many tacticians

For those who have worked on or managed a team with too many tacticians, you probably noticed individuals who …

• are more comfortable focused on the details of today, rather than anticipating the future
• find it tough to see past what impacts them or their immediate team
• have difficulty articulating consequences, possibilities or what’s coming around the corner
• have limited experience or lack broader knowledge of the business, market trends, or competitors

4 Ways to Develop and Demonstrate Strategic Thinking

For teams or individuals who need to build their strategy muscle:

1. Include a recommended solution and/or options every time you raise a problem or issue. There is a time and place to escalate, but be sure to spend just as much, if not MORE time thinking about how to solve the problem. Otherwise, you just sound like a complainer. And that’s not strategic at all.
2. Provide numbers and data to support your point-of-view, decision or recommendation. Demonstrate how your solution or answer is supported by data. Spend the time exploring research and facts, rather than hunches. When calculations aren’t straight forward, be clear on the assumptions you’ve used.
3. See ahead of today; identify and anticipate upcoming problems or opportunities. A majority of our time is sucked into immediate priorities and demands. Strategic people lift out of the weeds (even if it’s every once in awhile) and peer into the future. They think about a) what’s coming down the road, b) the issues and opportunities that aren’t obvious now, but may pop up later and c) short-term and long-term consequences for taking one approach versus another.
4. Construct work activities and make decisions that support the organization’s strategy. If priorities, time consuming tasks, meetings or decisions do not relate directly to the organizational vision and mission, question whether you should be spending time on them at all.

You don’t need a lofty job title to think and act strategically.

Marta Steele is a Partner at PeopleResults. Connect on Twitter @MartaSteele, or through email at msteele@people-results.com.

I’ve spent most of my life in Texas and children have always been subjected to standardized assessments. We were advised to get a good night’s sleep, a hearty breakfast, and to bring 2 #2 sharpened pencils and a book.

In efforts to ensure school accountability, now content-area standardized tests count as a significant portion of a high school student’s GPA. School ratings and administrators’ jobs hinge on test scores. Teachers fret about instruction days and trying to fit in all of the testable content. I recently asked an administrator about extending fine arts programming, and she admitted, “If it isn’t covered on the STAAR test, we don’t pay for it.”

I’m a big fan of benchmarks, metrics and accountability, but I think we may have overshot the purpose somewhat and lost some perspective. No CEO would agree to a performance review or compensation based solely on the price of his stock. And no one would choose a doctor based on her medical boards score.

So, how do you know if your benchmarks have gone bad?

1.    Controlled Substance

Measurable results have to be the output of a controllable input. If too many environmental factors come into play, then you’ll end up making value judgments. Watch if you have to justify exceptions too often. Example: “He would have made his sales targets if it weren’t for (fill in the blank).”

 2.    Results in the Mirror May Be Smaller than they Appear

Hindsight is critical in establishing metrics. Benchmarks are meant to evolve and be refined. The more data you have, the more you can establish correlation. Plan to revise your measures on a regular basis.

3.    Start Smart

Even the most sophisticated measures will fall flat if they don’t begin from a realistic baseline or reference a relevant peer group. Don’t overlook the importance of appropriate due diligence in the assessment phase. Example: holding sales metrics constant over territories with differing demographics/consumer patterns.

4.    Right Idea, Wrong Execution

If your measures are driving undesirable behavior, and people are spending more time on gaming the system than focusing on outcomes, your metrics have passed their useful shelf-life.  Revise or remove. Example: Employees are canceling training to keep their billable hours up.

 5.    End All, Be All

Quantitative measures are data points. They shouldn’t be the totality of an assessment.

I’m not particularly worked-up about the tests, precisely because I see them for what they are … one data point in a complex achievement picture. That and I already passed 6^th grade. All I have to do is make oatmeal for breakfast.

Barbara Milhizer tested well. You can reach her at bmilhizer@people-results.com or on twitter @mother_zen. Sign up to receive her and her colleagues’ blog at Current.

• Extensive workload
• Taking on something new for the first time
• Dealing with difficult people
• Dealing with a new group of people
• Any type of change from your norm

I’ve had a recent “overwhelming” experience that prompted me to write about this topic. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say the stakes were high and time was short!

In reflecting on how I managed through it, a few key learning come to mind. These may seem basic, but when you are IN an overwhelming situation, it’s important to rely on these foundations to get you through:

1. Keep a notebook & make lists - I know not everyone is a list maker, but it’s an easy way to track all the various to dos and contact details. When you’re overwhelmed, you’re not as clear-headed as in normal situations so don’t rely on that “steel trap.” You’ll forget something important if you don’t write it down!
2. Plan & organize - I’m not suggesting you create some elaborate work plan. Simply pull out a calendar and note what needs to be accomplished each day over the critical time frame. Also, create folders or some way to organize communication/paperwork so that you don’t waste time looking for things.
3. Leverage & delegate – Once you’ve done your planning and understand what needs to be accomplished each day, think about who can help you and begin to call on those resources to either provide information/support OR perhaps completely delegate some tasks to others. There are some things that don’t require YOU to be the one to do them. Think about how delegating can help someone in their development. Also remember, people WANT to be helpful so if you can give them a task to do, they will feel like they are contributing in a positive way. DON’T FORGET TO RECOGNIZED & THANK THOSE HELPERS!
4. Focus, focus, focus - The best way to work through that overwhelmed feeling is turn off the noise of the million things running through your brain, (which is why item #1, “the list” is so important). Write it down, then FOCUS ON WHAT NEEDS TO BE ACCOMPLISHED THAT DAY! When something new comes up, stop and ask yourself – “Does this change my must-do for today in any way?” If not, write it down, then get back to your day’s priority. If it does, stop a moment to re-prioritize, delegate if needed, then quickly regain focus on that must-do activity.
5. Celebrate the small victories each day - Take time to reflect on what was accomplished each day and pat yourself on the back and give others public recognition for what was achieved. It’s motivating and encourages people to keep plugging away to see if they can out-do themselves again the next day!

I will say that by the end of my two-week “overwhelming experience,” I look back and am pleased with what all was accomplished and the manner in which it was accomplished by leveraging my resources, effectively delegating and celebrating our victories each day along the way. I hope you keep this list handy and use the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Martha Duesterhoft is a Partner with PeopleResults. Follow her on Twitter @mduesterhoft or connect via email at mduesterhoft@people-results.com.

In Patti Johnson’s soon to be released book, Make Waves: Be the One to Start Change at Work and In Life, Major League Baseball Manager Clint Hurdle, of the Pittsburgh Pirates, said, “I believe that everything starts with your thoughts. Your choices are to (a) not think at all; (b) think negatively; or (c) think positively. I choose thinking positively. We all have that choice.”

I totally agree that your attitude alone can make a statement about you and an immediate impression on others. This impression sticks, positive or negative – it sticks – and becomes part of who you have chosen to be.

The point is, we all choose daily – How We Show Up. I know most of us easily rise to the occasion on the “important things” – but how we show up to “all things – big & small” is the true expression of who we are.

The best way to really self-reflect on How You Show Up is to catch yourself being yourself. Onlookers or strangers notice things about how you show up sometimes before you do:

• Are you closed or open in your body language?
• Are you an All In or Just Enough kind of team member?
• Are you asking for opinions or sharing your expertise?
• How do you enter a room full of co-workers, respond to change, deal with challenging situations, small inconveniences or opportunities?

All of these things are related not only to attitude but how you choose to expend your energy and attention each day.

Reflect on the day you had today, and how you chose to show up.

This morning at the 6 a.m. conference call – did you greet people pleasantly and share your point-of-view? OR come in late, sit quietly texting, hoping not to be called on?

As a participant in the required Leadership Training, did you take advantage of an opportunity to learn something and build your network? OR whine about the inconvenience and your total lack of interest?

When a young new hire stopped you to introduce himself – did you choose to take a minute to connect? OR brush him off as you rushed to your next appointment?

As a leader, someone is always watching. Every single day, your interactions with others DEFINE you and your ability to make things happen, see and accept opportunities, gain and give respect and ultimately reap the rewards of a satisfying job, thanks to the people around you.

Start your day tomorrow asking, How do I want others to see me? If this is important to you, it will drive How You Choose To Show Up!

“We are what we repeatedly do.” – Aristotle

Shelli Walker is a Partner with PeopleResults. Follow her on twitter @ShelliWalker or connect via email at swalker@people-results.com.

1. Be late. Are you guilty of cutting it too close on timing? (I confess I am at times.) Why? Sometimes you’re cranking to get one more task done before the next meeting. Other times, you underestimated the time and focus required to end the previous meeting on time. Or maybe you weren’t keeping close track of the time or simply didn’t think it was a big deal to be a couple of minutes late. Whatever the reason, most people get annoyed when they have to wait on you. Or they question your time management skills. Or they assume you don’t care about their time. Additionally, you are more likely to be flustered and distracted if you fly from one call to the next one without taking time to make the mental transition. All this contributes to leaving a bad impression.
2. Don’t prepare. When you’re not ready, you communicate at least three things to the person you’re meeting. First, you don’t think they are important enough that you need to prepare. Second, you are lazy or don’t care. And, third, you can’t manage your time well. Plus, you likely feel less confident and competent as you interact with them. And that comes across.
3. Make it all about you. The more focused you are on you and your agenda, the less focused you are on the other person, their interests and how you can help them. And the more out of touch and uninterested you are with others and their priorities, the worse the impression you leave.
4. Ramble and go into lots of uninteresting details. Unless you are Robin Williams or “the most interesting man in the world,” most people will prefer that you get to the point. And if they want all the gory details, they will ask.
5. Multitask. Nothing says “I am too important to give you my full attention” like multitasking during your first meeting. (Or any meeting.) If you can’t resist the Pavlovian urge to check email, Facebook or Twitter while you’re having a live conversation, then be prepared to leave the impression that you are not really interested in the other person or talking with them.
6. Ignore your personal appearance and hygiene. Appearance is to first impression like first impression is to overall impression. Faded jeans, business suits and low cut tops all send different messages. What message do you want to send? And don’t forget that just because you can’t smell your coffee breath doesn’t mean others can’t.

First impressions aren’t always fair, and they can be misleading. But they are real, and they are important. Basic consideration and interest in the other person, along with some planning about what impression you’d like to leave, can help you get started on the right foot.

Image Credit

Joe Baker is a Partner with PeopleResults. As a leadership consultant and executive coach, he helps senior leaders start and stay on the right foot. You can reach him at jbaker@people-results.com or on Twitter @JoeBakerJr.

I have just completed a book—Relevance: The Power to Change Minds and Behavior and Stay Ahead of the Competition—and one of the things that really struck me doing the research was how important emotional connections are in our work lives.

If you think about the three words that make up the headline of this blog post, you’ll understand both why relevance - which I define as something that is practical and especially social applicability—is so important.

Want proof? You need look no further than the local Cineplex or the flat-screen television on your family room wall.

Let me share something from my book:

You have seen the scene a thousand times in the movies or on TV.

Two people have been working on a possible deal. Our hero desperately needs the agreement to save the farm; stave off bankruptcy; keep the bank from foreclosing; pay for grandma’s operation; get funding for his BIG IDEA (which will allow him to win the girl), and he thinks he has convinced the other person—usually someone who already has a lot of money and/or power—to agree to terms.

Then, at the last minute, there is a phone call, a face-to-face meeting, a telegram, an e-mail, or a text that says, “The deal is off/I’ve changed my mind/I got a better offer.”

No matter what form the communication takes, the message always ends the same way: “It’s nothing personal. It’s just business.”

Every single time that scene plays out, you are rooting for—and ultimately feel bad for—the person who received the “it’s just business” message. And that is true whether you (or your clients) are running a nonprofit or are the most flinty-eyed CPA who ever lived. No one watching It’s a Wonderful Life roots for the hard-hearted Mr. Potter.

On the surface, this makes no sense. Shouldn’t we identify with the person who gets the best deal, the one who comes out ahead?

Ah, you say. But we are talking about a movie or a television show. The people who create entertainment know how to play on our emotions. So, it is not surprising that we are rooting for the underdog. It’s a standard plot device. And it is a standard plot device because it is so effective.

All that is true.

But it’s a funny thing. For most of us, real life is a whole lot like reel life, at least in this regard:  When people play the it’s-nothing-personal-it’s-just-business card with us we always feel worse than we should by any objective measure.

Why? Because we have invested time and probably a lot of emotion in the deal that has fallen apart. When we analyze the situation in retrospect, we see that we believed there was some sort of relationship, a connection with the person we were negotiating with that we thought went beyond business. When we find out there was no such connection, we feel disappointed, if not betrayed.

And these feelings get us back to the definition of relevance (which is something that is practical and especially social applicability). If relevance was simply the first part of the definition—something that is practical—there would be no hard feelings. We were negotiating a deal and it didn’t work out. The other person did, indeed, get a better offer and it just makes sense for her to go with terms superior to what we were proposing. These things happen. On to the next deal.

However, as we have seen relevance is not just about the practical. It has a huge emotional component (that’s the “especially social” part of the definition). And that’s why the “it’s just business” line stings so much, because, implicitly, we never thought it was just business.

But the converse is also true.

Let me share a story my co-author Paul B. Brown told me.

He woke up in the morning knowing that later that day he was going to pick up his daughter, a junior in college, who had just spent her Christmas break halfway around the world volunteering at a place you can barely find on a map. However, when Paul checked his smartphone he discovered that, while he was sleeping, Shannon had sent him an email that said, “They cancelled our plane. And the next flight home won’t be for three days. So, I am taking a flight that lands [at an airport 125 miles from home] at 3 a.m. your time. If there is time, I’ll call you from London when I am changing planes. Hope this is not a problem. Love you.”

So, even before he had his coffee, Paul called the car service he always uses—the one that is about 15 percent more expensive than the competition but which has never let him down—and asked them to pick up his little girl at 3 a.m. at that airport that is more than two hours away. The car service e-mailed the confirmation to him, and he then forwarded it to his daughter so she could read it when she changed planes. She doesn’t have to worry—and neither do you.

As Paul had breakfast with his daughter the following morning, just before she headed to bed for twelve hours of make-up sleep, he told me he had this passing thought: “I guess I won’t be changing car services any time soon.”

These two stories—of the deal that’s “just business” and the trustworthy car service—cover the spectrum when it comes to why everything is personal. To add another example, even though we call our work an occupation, we want it to have meaning. There is nothing more depressing than putting forty or fifty years into a job and thinking it hasn’t meant a thing. So, of course, work is personal. If it isn’t, there is something wrong.

Conversely, in our personal lives we have so many choices—from where we live to which cell phone we use—that we simply want what works best for us. You could say that makes us narcissistic. We’d simply say it makes us human.

So it turns out that staple of entertainment—the “it’s just business” scene—is extremely entertaining, and just as equally wrong. It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about the kind of pen we use or who we do business with, everything is personal.

That’s why you keep the emotional component in mind in everything you do at work.

Andrea “Andy” Coville is CEO of Brodeur Partners, one of the world’s top mid-sized communications agencies. In a quest to bring more science and sensory-based insight to the creative process, she developed and refined the concept of relevance, a strategic platform for helping organizations and their brands go beyond the “buzz” and link communications to behavioral change.

Follow her @AndreaCoville or at keep up with Brodeur Relevance. Her book is available through purchase at Amazon.