But guys, none of that is it.

THIS is IT!!!!!

The Hook diet.

And if any of y’all haven’t seen Hook, please excuse yourselves now.

The plan is basically to either play this video constantly, or pay your neighborhood children to put you on this program.

And then only eat imaginary food.

And guess what…

SKINNY!
BANGARANG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, but for serious. This week I am limiting myself to 14 drinks per week, as per Jess’s suggestion. Which sounds like lots of drinks. But you haven no idea. I can put away a cocktail.

Which brings us to our point today.

I started out with 35 pounds to lose, last week I was down 3, this week I am down 2. No, not from last week. That would be awesome. But I seem to have gained a pound. WTF?? I am hoping maybe it’s just some muscles coming in on my soon to be ripped bod, but it is disheartening all the same.

Ugh, why is this so SLOW!?!? I ordered JillianBitchShred…Trying it this week.

Last week I also did Tracy Anderson Cardio and super hated it. I mean, is she for real? Who has time to learn dance moves that aren’t Britney? Not this chick. I re-introduced myself to Slim in 6 and remember why I loved it. Its TA esque in that it is a lot of working with your own body weight, but you get a timer. Like each segment is timed 3 minutes…10 minutes left in the whole video etc. Which is motivating.

Also, I have been getting the hang of Weight Watchers a bit better using the LiveStrong and LoseIt apps y’all rec’d to track the nutrition of what I am eating. The thing I like about Weight Watchers is that it is helping me take the emotion out of eating. Like if you tell me I cannot have ANY dessert or ice cream…well, I mean, can you imagine anything ruder than telling someone they can’t have any ice cream at all?  I am liable to get a little really depressed. And, unfortunately, it is the kind of depression that can only be cured by a lot of ice cream. It’s a vicious cycle. But with WW I have learned that let’s say, oh, a Girl Scout Thin Mint is only 1 point. So I can have a couple of those instead and not be sads.

Clearly, as I mentioned, I have issues with food. And I feel like WW might help me with the heart of those issues, which would be fantastic.

Ok, enough about me, have any of y’all been more successful this week?

Because it’s my favorite.

And it’s February.

Are you convinced of what an superb color combo this is yet?

It’s February! Which means it is my Birthday month! And Pink and Red month!

AND GRACIE GIRL IS 6 MONTHS OLD TODAY!!!

Wha?? How did that happen?

6 Months has been a major turning point. Baby girl is giggly and smiley and goofy and can sit up on her own! Everyone told me 6 months would be when it got really fun, and so far I will say for SURELY it is.

And I realized, I never showed y’all her super cute birth announcements!

Red and Pink! And hearts! Her theme! ‘Cause you gotta have a gimmick.Our sweet friend Sarah took some pictures of her when she was just a little brand new bean, but even from the very beginning she had the wisest eyes.

Our little Valentine.

Awww

Anthropologie has some good stuff, but can get really expensive really fast. Pottery Barn can be cute, but it can also be super marginal and granny. I was surprised to find some good things from Garnet Hill when I was helping Alaina with her bedroom makeover the other day, but again, it’s generally not awesome.

Also.

What kind of look do you like? 

Traditional white?

Monogrammed?

More funky?

Mix?

Which look is your favorite? If you go for patterns, are they more graphic, floral, traditional?

Where do you go for your bedding?

Any secret resources I don’t know about?

How much would you ideally spend to properly butter your biscuit?

Talk to me.

Not as much as I would have liked, but not a total loss seeing as Pete brought me back Laduree Macaroons from New York. And my approach to handling temptation is to make it go away. Into my tummy. So I ate like 18 macaroons in a day. 

I couldn’t help it! They got all smushed in his bag and I didn’t want them to think I was judging them or thought they weren’t pretty enough to eat!

For workouts this week I have been walking with Gracie, doing the Tracy Anderson post-pregnancy video which is NO JOKE PEOPLE! I did half of it on Saturday and couldn’t move for two days. I like that it is only 45 minutes and is sort of divided in three sections, abs first, then legs, then arms so that if I don’t have time to do the whole thing I can do at least the abs first thing in the morning and maybe legs later if Gracie is chillin’ for 10 minutes. You need weights (no bigger than 3 pounds) but other than that you can do it anywhere. It is all mat work mostly using your own body weight and Tracy’s crazy kookie (you were right, Jenny) moves.The things I don’t like about the video are that she is super quiet so sometimes you are mid pike and check the TV and she has moved on without letting you know. And also the music is bizarro. Otherwise I feel like it is really doable and effective.

Diet wise I have basically been doing a paleo diet, at least at night, fish or chicken and veggies. My new favorite thing is roasting a brussel sprout within an inch of its life so that it basically become like a potato chip. I am sure I am cooking all the nutrients out of them, but it is delicious.

I have been trying to keep up with weight watchers online but I don’t super love it. I think it works really well if you are eating prepared foods or cooking their recipes, but trying to log in what I cooked and how I cooked it is super tedious. I am going to look into the other food/exercise logs y’all suggested this week.

Also this week I am going to try some barre classes, Tracy Anderson cardio, and slim in 6. And I need to start limiting my alcohol. FML. But its true. Skinny girl margaritas probably aren’t “skinny” when you consume and entire bottle at a time.

So, how are you guys doing? Any progress? Favorite workouts or foods I should try? Anyone else fall victim to some aggressive macaroons?

Carrot Top?? REALLY!?

Who knew all of my readers were a bunch of filthy perverts.

I’d go cheese FOR SURE!!! I think a lot of you Carrot Top choosers didn’t consider that maybe society would consider sweating cheese to be an incredible gift/skill. You could be the patron saint of CHEESE! WHAT an honor.

ANYWAY!

 Thank you for all of the chair advice, even though it left me utterly perplexed.

Luckily, our DWR here is awesome and let me check out both chairs on loan for a few days so we could see not only how they serve Pete’s delicate behind, but also investigate the other issues y’all mentioned. I was fully expecting to not like either of them.

But…We have a winner!

The eames was quickly nixed by Pete because you can’t tuck your legs up under them. K- you were right, TOTAL pain in the ankle/achilles heel. 

I am, however, surprised to report that we both LOVED the tulip chair. I totally believe all of the issues you guys mentioned, but maybe they redesigned them a bit? They weren’t heavy at all…And scooted really easily on the floor. And that swively function is really a lot of fun.
Now I am slightly concerned that the vintage set I found won’t be so light and maneuverable…And I won’t know unless I buy them and ship them here.  What to do what to do.

Buying them new is just too expensive…although for all of you who may be interested in a tulip they are supposed to go on sale from DWR soon.

I guess y’all will just have to wait and see what we decide on. Which should be soon, my February resolution is to get this place properly photographed!

That’s a tough one, no?

But our real predicament is a lot less foul and has to do with the seating situation in our kitchen. When Pete and I moved in together, and in Chicago, we had Louis Ghost Chairs around our table and Pete superhated them. I kept explaining that they were awesome designer and fancy and cool but he was all they are plastic and hurt my bottom and they are ugly and I hate them. Which is annoying, but he also lets me paint the majority of our house pink and stuff so if this is the one thing he can’t handle, fine. We sold ‘em. But now we need to replace them.

And I can’t decide betwixt these:
Eames molded plastic chairs in the red/tomato/orange color

OR OR OR

I found six vintage tulip armchairs for almost the same price per chair as the eames molded guys, which is an awesome deal for real deal saarinen.

Normally I would be like, duh, go with the great deal on the saarinen. But our table is a saarinen tulip table and I’m concerned it will look too matchy matchy.

I think I know what I am going to do…

…But I always like to consult you guys on my big decisions.

So.

What do you think?

So where are we today? Well my goal is 35 pounds, and I have lost 2…so 33 to go!

The timeline for this by the way is June 1. I think that is enough time to be realistic, but it’s close enough that I need to have a sense of urgency and stick to a program.

I have read each and every comment and email and am going to look into as many of your tips as I can, and will report back on their effectiveness and whether or not they were doable or made me feel murdery.

If any of you are following along feel free to use the comments as your “weight watchers” check in as well!

Now if Britney, Beyonce, Rihanna etc. could release some new music videos on iTunes for me to watch at the gym, that would be suppeerrr.

Although this video by impossibly cute pixie creature Rachel Bilson is plenty of motivation for today.

Happy Weekend, everyone!

Which might not be the worst thing in the world as I contemplate embarking on The Humiliation Diet. I’d like to think of it more like an accountability diet. And actually I would like not to think of it as a diet at all, and more just the way to get my life back. I don’t want to post my weight every day, because I don’t want to weigh myself every day and stress myself out. And I also don’t want to post my actual weight because 1. Ouch and 2. It is not about the actual number, and I don’t want to get into a comparison with anyone else. I remember reading back in the day that Tyra Banks was a size 10 and being like, I’m a 10!! I’M A SUPER MODEL!!!!! Well no, Tyra Banks is also 6 feet tall. I am 5 foot nothing. We wear clothes slightly differently.

The cold hard facts are these. I gained 70 pounds while pregnant with Girly McBaby. Yes, part of that is because I was told not to worry about gaining weight by my doctors who were concerned she would be premature, and felt that it was more important to get weight on her any way possible. And she was born healthy at 8.1 pounds so I don’t regret it. But I also know gaining 70 pounds wasn’t doctors orders. It was because I was sad and ice cream is like prozac and really, I just have issues with food. And most importantly, I do not want to pass on my issues with food to my baby girl. I want her to learn from my healthy habits, and my positive body image, and so it is time to get serious.

I think instead of posting my weight every day, or even once a week, I am going to write about my progress towards my goal every Friday. I won’t bore y’all with the details because I am sure a lot of you reading this now are like what the eff do I care about your large bottom. That’s your gross problem. Fair. I also know a lot of you read MODG and she is doing something similar. I have been following along and participating and I am not trying to copy her or steal her thunder, but I need more accountability than I get hiding out in her comment area.

So here I am.

35 pounds away from my goal. I am doing this for my baby, and also a lot for my own comfort and vanity. And health and all that. And skinny jeans. Because there is nothing more insulting to ones ego than being fat in the age of SKINNY jeans.

I’m comin for you J.Crew skinnies.

If any of you want to share tips, as so many have been kind to do in answer to my twitter cries for help, or join along with me, comment along. So here we go, no more cake porn, no more bitching about my weight or fishing for compliments, just hard work and progress.

xoxo,

Bailey