PERFECT STORY

Advice for a Long Distance Relationship

2010-04-09T11:11:00.001-07:00

The first thing a person should do in any relationship is to throw out the old cliché of “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” because love should mean wanting to say you're sorry. If your loved one is hurt, even if they are at fault, apologizing for your part in the fight can get you a lot farther then blaming. Honey does catch more flies than vinegar.

If you honestly feel that you are completely in the right you can still say that you are sorry for the reactions you and your mate had towards the situation. No matter what, I am sure that upsetting him or her was the last thing that you wanted to do. This does not mean to minimize your feelings in anyway only to take the focus off “who’s to blame” and put it where it belongs- on the problem at hand. Once the other person is off the defensive, it makes the issue something that you’re facing together instead of at odds. By doing this it will help the two of you to remember that you are both on the same side, with the same ultimate goal in mind- mutual happiness.

This moves us on to another old cliché that I absolutely despise- “Always fight fair”. When it comes to relationships, your main objective should be to not fight. I am not talking about a perfect fairytale where you never disagree with your significant other because fights will happen, even in the most secure of couples. I just do not understand why people prepare for a fight like they would a political debate or, worse yet, like they are going into combat. So, choose your words carefully and plan ahead of time how you can be considerate of your partner’s views, do not dismiss them.

The key to any relationship is honesty. If something is really bothering you, then by all means, say so. Before opening your mouth, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is truly what’s wrong. Make sure that you are not just turning your loneliness into something else. The biggest mistake that people make in a long distance relationship is to channel their feelings of longing for one another into a trivial matter, then end up fighting.

If the main complaint is being apart from your loved one, then tell him or her how you feel. It takes a strong independent person to have a long distance relationship and it also takes a lot of strength to admit that it is not enough anymore. If you and your partner are constantly fighting, it may be time re-evaluate and re-structure the relationship. It may only take a few more phone calls or chat sessions during the week to improve things between the two of you immensely. Maybe, using some saved up vacation time is in order. Both of you taking time off is preferable so you can renew your love. But if only one of you can skip work, still go and visit the other. (Who knows? That person may end up loving it and decide to stay.) If it’s been a truly good relationship, loneliness very rarely means an ending to it all. In fact, it can “make the heart grow fonder” as long as you stay truthful in your communications with one another.

If the distance between the two of you has become a major issue, then it may be time to talk about one of you relocating. But before starting this conversation makes sure that you have tried everything else to improve the relationship and that this kind of life altering commitment is what you truly want. Remember, it is a long distance relationship for a reason. Whether because of a job, family or a mixture of things - one of you will be giving up something that was important enough to warrant being apart in the first place.

How to Keep a Long-Distance Relationship Hot

2010-04-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

For the estimated seven million U.S. couples currently in long distance relationships, sex and intimacy come with a whole different set of challenges. Instead of a simple “your place or mine?” you’ve got plane tickets, work schedules and much more to contend with. It’s no wonder many couples just can’t handle the distance. But if you’re stuck spending time apart there are ways to still feel close—and even keep your sex lives thriving. Check out these tips from women who kept their long distance relationships healthy and sexually satisfying.
Change It Up.
Couples stuck without the benefit of regular face-to-face contact have to find alternative ways to connect in order to keep their relationship going. For Tina Snyder, 37, starting a relationship with a man living 170 miles away meant long phone calls, frequent e-mails and a mutual commitment to open communication. “I believe our communication held us together during the first year of our relationship,” says Snyder, who recently became engaged. “We would talk for hours every night. We talked about everything: work, children, careers, our future. And we had a lot of phone sex.”
While inexpensive webcams and voice chat programs have made it easier to hear the sound of your loved one’s voice, Dr. Marianne Brandon, Co-Director of The Sexual Wellness Center in Annapolis, Md., warns that it’s not how often you communicate but how well that counts. She also advises couples not to be shy about their desires—sexual or otherwise. As long as everyone’s comfortable, phone sex, cybersex, or leaving sexy answering machine messages are all healthy ways to connect with someone who’s not around.

Get Personal.
According to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, the average couple involved in a long distance relationship lives 125 miles apart, visits each other 1.5 times per month, calls each other three times per week and, perhaps most importantly, exchanges three hand-written letters each month. In fact, studies show that couples who stayed together through their long-distance relationship wrote snail mail letters to each other twice as often as long distance couples whose relationships failed.

When Elizabeth Whitmore, 19, moved to England for a year, leaving her boyfriend in Washington, D.C., she relied on the postal service to sustain her relationship. “It was a good way to communicate because you really had to think about what you were saying,” she says. “We would write three- and four-page letters, sometimes erotic. And when he went on tour around the United States, he sent me 180 post cards. It was fun and personal.” Getting personal is exactly what keeps couples together. While generic gifts such as flowers and chocolate are nice, handmade gifts that come from the heart make a lasting impression.

Maximize Your Time.
Dealing with the distance is only half the battle; learning how to maximize what limited time you do spend together is the other half. Dr. Brandon says that when couples do reconnect, they should establish some guidelines for quality time together. “If he thinks quality time means taking her out with his friends and showing her off at a club and she thinks quality time is going to an intimate restaurant and then going to bed, there’s going to be a problem,” Brandon says.

To solve this problem, 29-year-old Mary-Beth Ellis and her boyfriend have developed an informal ritual. “The first thing we do is we hug each other, then we go to the couch and start talking,” she says. “We reconnect with each other first.”

It’s certainly not impossible to stay together when many miles separate you—it’s all a matter of keeping connected in new ways. If you’re both willing to communicate when you’re apart and reconnect when you reunite, then your relationship and your sex life will survive wonderfully.

Do You Feel Like Your Heart Is Broken?

2010-04-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

Heal A Broken Heart

It takes time! Here are some basic tips. Make sure you also read the articles, which you can access from the side menu.

* Honor how you are feeling. This means that you should not pretend that you are ok, when you really aren't. There is nothing wrong with crying.

* Communicate with people that care about you. Make sure you share how you are feeling. Do not underestimate the support that these people can provide.

* Exercise regularly and take care of your health. Often times during the period of having one's heart broken, health may be neglected. If you aren't careful, this can only make things worse.

* Some people like to travel.

* A great way to move through a broken heart is to spend a lot of time doing something you really love. This can be a hobby, work, or anything! If you keep yourself busy you will find yourself moving through the pain faster.

Above all, give yourself time. This type of healing can't be rushed. If you want to restore the relationship, make sure that you figure out why it went wrong before you rush back into it.
Begin To Heal

There is nothing funny about having a broken heart. If you are reading this, I am sure you know that. Your stressed body will begin to accumulate all sorts of feelings on top of the depression.

Perhaps you lack positive focus and you are having trouble moving away from looking at the negative, leaving you almost completely unable to function. It is important to try to change this, as in a very direct way we experience the emotions that we focus on.

Here are a few steps to consider:

* Grieve
This is the best thing to do after your loss. Try not to avoid this step. It it best to do it immediately, or it may take you longer to heal. Do whatever you need to do to express yourself in this stage, so long as you don't hurt anyone else.

* The Plan
Healing is a journey that needs a plan. This means that you should write down some ways which (you think) will help you - right now! Think about it, and keep thinking about it.

* The Action
Once you have written down some things, make specific plans to act on them soon - and stick to it!

* Suggestions
Accept that you are responsible for your own healing, and take as much time as you need for yourself.

Take action when you are inspired.Forgive people and recognize that we take in what we focus on. This concept is recognized by some people as the law of attraction.

Do not hang around people who make you feel negative or people who complain all the time. Perform any spiritual work that feels right to you, perhaps include affirmations and visualizations. Be grateful.

Health Of Your Heart

Our hearts can be tormented and troubled. They can be squashed and pressured, both from a psychological and emotional point of view. This can be to such a point where they actually begin to result in physical health problems, thus, a broken heart can be considered quite literal. Losing someone you love can cause major problems to our hearts.

Over the course of a life time, most people (at one time or another) will experience a long trial of sadness or loss.

Much research has proven that hearts living under this pain don't just suffer emotionally, they all suffer physically. Deep feelings of depression, loneliness, and sadness can actually lead to problems like heart disease.

Researchers have found that what we all feel and the way we think directly effects the health of our heart. A study showed that people living under this pain can literally even die from a 'broken heart'. It is important to try and overcome the pain so that it doesn't drag on longer than it has to.

Consider the lessons that you have learned, and how you are smarter as a result of the experience. Think about this often, as it will help lift you and let you see some positive signs.

Find a treatment that works for you - this can be talking with those who care about you, other groups of support, perhaps something like psychotherapy or meditation. There are lots of techniques available to help heal your heart.

Get busy doing what it takes to become well!

5 Ways to Keep Your LDR Spicy Hot!

2010-04-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

Let's face it - being in a long distance relationship sometimes just sucks. There's really no other way to put it. The lack of physical intimacy can put a real strain on long distance couples. Things that other couples may take for granted like just holding hands can feel like a dream waiting to come true. Due to this huge intimacy gap in an LDR, it's important to keep the sexiness alive and have both partners still feel wanted and desired. To help ease the pain, here are five ideas to help keep you feeling more sensually connected no matter how far away you may be from each other.

Love in Hate, Hate and Love: A Poetic Just

2010-04-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

We have grown apart so much these past few years. I thought when we split apart at the beginning of the year, a change was going to happen, but it didn’t. We got back together only after three months and basically picked up where we left off. Nothing changed at all. Okay, so you say that incident that happened with, need I not say her name, wasn’t supposed to happen, but maybe she was placed into my path to actually see how much of an ***hole you really are. I felt I got back with you on my terms, but to this day I don’t know why I really did get back with you.

My heart burns to know that the light we once inflamed, together, is disintegrating. My soul empties to feel like, us is just a term abbreviated to lesser standards. Love feels like a relevant term. Just knowing you, I’m afraid to know what real love feels like. I realize that it comes in different “packaging,” but if love comes with your type of “postage,” then I don’t want to feel love. My soul yearns for that young man I once fell in love with, but will never happen. What you and I had a once upon a time was so poetic and just. It almost felt like the greatest love tragedy of all, Romeo and Juliet. You were my Romeo and I was your Juliet. If you ever get the time, I encourage you to read that story. It really does feel like us, from beginning to end.

Is love really tender? I think it’s too rough, too rude, too rowdy, and it pricks like a thorn. You were the type I shunned completely; for the idea of being with someone like you jolted me. “Love is a monster for making me fall in love with my worst enemy.” The love we had was much like lightning which flashes and then disappears before you can say “it’s lightning.” Strands of old tears still stain my cheek from the many promised promises, many given, but never kept, always broken. The sun hasn’t melted away the fog I made with all my sighs. Sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder that you were too much acting like you were in love without really knowing what love means. I’ve heard people say that sudden joys have sudden endings. They burn up in victory like fire and gunpowder. When they meet, as in a kiss, they explode. “We should have loved each other in moderation.” I think that was the key to our “long-lasting love.” (Too fast is as bad as too slow).

When someone does the smallest thing to make you angry, you get angry. And when you’re in the mood to get angry, you find something to get angry about. Just the thought of her being alone with you at the home you got to “show me the ‘adult’ in you” weighs on my memory like sins linger in guilty minds. Maybe pain likes to have company and can’t come without bringing more pain. No words can and never will express the true pain I feel inside that night I looked into your eyes and realized…this is the beginning of the end. I feel whatever was left of you, you had given utterly and selfishly to her and I was left with none. All the wounds you cast upon me is being washed out with hot, salty tears…my tears; And, it burns horribly to the depths of my soul. How could you? I thought we said to the end? I guess that was the end. I kept you warm when you were cold. I kept you fed when your stomach drew of hunger. I was once the girl you ran to when there were no one else. Have, or did, you lose sight of that?

You were blinded by your distasteful desires…I spit on your pity. That night, I died. We died. My soul was doomed for banishment from my body. Banishment is death by the wrong name. Calling death banishment is like cutting my head off and smiling with I’m being murdered. You…you played the part of my executioner. Damned souls use the word banishment to describe hell. Maybe we’re just getting a sense of what our hell is to be like in the afterlife. We’re both tainted from our past adversities, of one another’s adversities. Life is the union of soul in body through the miracle of birth, but you would throw all that away. You bring shame to your body, your love, your mind. You have so much natural talent, but like someone who values money-not your body, not your love, not your mind. Your body is just a wax figure, without the honor of a man. The love that you promised me was just a hollow lie. All these troubles have given us stories to tell each other, these despicable stories.

I always hoped that one day you would was me out of the grave you sent me to with your tears. A little bit of grief shows a lot of love. But too much grief makes you look stupid. Every time I was with you, I would gaze into your eyes and just witnessed all this infidelity you had, whether it is with your inability with drugs, your many women, or just outright lies! Our love was like the blissful aroma of a rose. Our love was rose, so beautiful and pure, lovely to the eye, yet horrible to the scent. You say that your “so-called friends” think I’m mean; well, that’s nothing compared to the monster my “so-called” friends came to see that you created.

I loathe you. I carried your child, your only begotten son, in my womb and yet you still deny to this day. You see him, and you see someone else. I’d much rather you’d say nothing at all than someone else. In the sights of my soar eyes, my daughter seems to loathe you, also. She doesn’t know what to make of this sometimes. But yet, when I see my daughter and son having the time of their lives playing with a basket attached with a string, I can’t help but to look over at you and wonder if we’re having the same joys of contentment and happiness. That is where I want to stay ever more; though that is very obsolete.

You say you want the love your parents have, and so I ask you what exactly is that? Could it be the way your dad resents your mom from time to time? Could it be that your dad wasn’t a strong enough man to be the rock for his family? Or could it be that he never truly taught the morals and values of life to his three sons? I ask only what exactly kind of love you would like to bestow? If it involves pain, discomfort, and tension, then blind fold me and push into on-coming traffic because that’s exactly what I feel.

I surrender; you win!! Now what? More pain, more tears…do you care? At all? I’ve lost control and sometimes wonder where I am. What am I doing here? How did I get here? And mostly, why am I still here? I always feel like I’m a nervous wreck when I’m with you; even without. All these mixtures of feelings; is it love? What is love? How does it feel? And ultimately, how does one know if there in love? Love is friendship set on fire, and we sure set this thing a blaze. But as a flame does; it must die out, turns with dust, and eventually gone with the wind.

Oh, my love! How I long for the compassion…the tenderness. I wish I had wings to fly away from here. My children would be that wind taking a brethren upon my feathers as I soar through the sky. And you…you would be my wings, coming…helping to whisk me away as I take that last leap into the air, but my wings have failed me…you have failed me. Why must this untimely humiliation go on? Why couldn’t the world just end three years ago when “our world” was so pure and just? I guess that’s where our enjoyment ended. It was doomed from the beginning, and like all good things, it must come to an end; just like every other story has a sad ending. At least we can say that this roller coaster was invigorating, but still…has to come to an end.

My family is filled with screw-ups and break-ups. Now I can say that we fit right into the “clan.” I had fun while it lasted. We had some times, huh? I’ve realized that after doing my best to hold a grudge—something I’ve never been good at—a peaceful wave washes me away from it, even if a friend did something that feels like absolute treason to me. I wake up feeling compassionate, and ready, finally, perhaps to accept your apology. Still, while forgiving is a good idea, it’ll be quite difficult to forget.

That, my friend, my love, is called wisdom, and it comes with experience. So, as our trials and tribulations come to an understanding, we will know how this experience, we’ve lived together, came to pass; we will always recall this point in our lives as the idea of Love and Hate, Hate in Love: A Poetic Just.

My heart will always remain with you, my friend!!

Relationship Advice for a Girl with a Guy with a Commitment Phobia

2010-03-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

I have been dating a commitment phobic individual off and on for over a year and as can be expected, the relationship has been a roller coaster ride.

He has always returned with humble apologies and I have always forgiven. I really like him, enjoy his wit, humor, and he is very intelligent. However things have recently gotten very sticky. A mutual friend has caused a major rift between the two of us, that I do not know if it can be crossed.

In short an argument ensued about my ex-boyfriend and myself sleeping together after he told me he was not ready for a commitment (again). I told our friend that I would not go there again, however, I did not keep my word and I stayed with him. When our friend found out a confrontation between the two of them became a big blow out and neither my ex nor I really understood it. It would seem that my friend and my ex-boyfriend will most likely recover, as they have been friends much longer, though things may be different between them.

As far as myself and my ex, I do not know. We parted ways awkwardly and I left without saying goodbye, and shed a few tears. Prior to the incident he wanted to remain friends (for convenience?) now I don't know where I stand.

Should I try to contact him and discuss this with him or should I let it go and wait to see if I hear from him?

If I do hear from him do I discuss the incident or do I blow it off? Or am I better off just walking away completely and write if off as a loss though I will miss him dearly.

I am truly at a loss.

Answer:
There are so many things about your situation that trouble me.

First, it is triangular in nature and this always leads to problems. What does this friend have to do with this relationship? At the very least, it is none of their business.

Second, why are you so unsure of yourself that you even listen to a third person?

Third, if someone continually causes us pain and grief, this is obviously not going to make you happy.

Fourth, why run after someone who is this ambivalent about wanting a commitment.

It is one thing to call someone a commitment phobic individual. It is another thing to keep hoping that things will be different. I wonder why you feel he will change? Is he in therapy? Is he working towards dealing with whatever issues made him so fearful in the first place? Probably not!

So this begs the question about your own sense of self-worth.

Ask yourself:
1) Do I really really want a relationship? If so, why be with someone who doesn't?
2) If I really have confidence in myself, why am I with someone why I have to try to convince to be with me?
3) Does my own family background support healthy and loving relationships?
4) Does his?

One of the problems I see with women who continue on with men who won't commit is that something in their own past has made them frightened of commitment themselves. Remember that we usually choose our own "mirror image" when it comes to mate selection. If you are with a man like this, he is probably reflecting your own issues right back to you.

As far as my advice, I think it's pretty clear.

Walk away!!

You've gone on with this for a year and nothing has changed. Second, try to look inward and find out why you have chosen this situation unconsciously and maybe this will help you to grow emotionally in the direction of choosing someone who can love you as you, and as we all, deserve.

Basically, people don't change all that much. If he doesn't want to commit and has not already done so, he either has his own issues to work through or else he just isn't ready. In that case, there is nothing you can do about this except to choose a direction that is more emotionally satisfying. As far as remaining friends, perhaps you could in the future but right now, I would totally cool it.

Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

2010-03-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

Challenging and difficult, though they may not be what we want to hear, are the words that best describe long distance relationships. Keep in mind however, that the words are challenging and difficult, not impossible. Many people choose to give a long distance relationship a try, with the constant curiosity if it was the right decision to make and if it even stands a chance. The truth is, a long distance relationship has just as much a chance of succeeding as any other relationship!

Long Distance Relationships share the same facts as an average relationship. It involves two people who share an interest in each other�s lives, care for one another and of course have a love for each other that they hope will only continue to grow. On the other hand, a long distance relationship does have its differences as well. It takes away your ability to see each other on a frequent note, as well as the choice of being intimate whenever you desire, not to mention that there would be major trust required. Being unable to spend time together in a physical presence makes it harder to hang on to, but does not spell out doom for your relationship.

The first step is to make an agreement of what your expectations are in the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give and receive. If the two of you decide to be monogamous, then it is clear that neither of you will be dating anyone else as long as your romantic relationship exists. Being clear about what you both want is extremely important, especially in a long distance relationship, in order to prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes. Do not feel afraid to tell your partner what you really need and want from him or her, you deserve the chance to speak from your heart and he or she deserves to know the truth and judge whether they can give it to you.

Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger and unsuccessfulness, just as it would be any other relationship. By accepting the challenge of a long distance relationship, you also accepted the fact that you will have to have the trust and faith that your partner will not be seeing anyone else as promised. Being paranoid and accusing will only grow doubts, insecurity and tension between you and none of those three will help the relationship survive successfully.

THE PROBLEM WITH LDR

2010-03-04T04:40:00.000-08:00

Question
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three months now. However, we met online almost two years ago and know a lot about each other. Apparently we don't know enough though as we seem to be spending a lot of our time on the phone arguing. We have tried to have a conversation addressing our concerns with the relationship and each other. However, he doesn't seem to be able to see my point of view on anything. For example, I want him to stop looking at porn online all the time and he makes the excuse that he just likes to look at attractive women and has a fetish that can only be realized through online pictures. I also want him to make an effort to write to me or call more instead of me having to do all the writing and calling. He also has female "friends" online tthat he discusses sex and erotica with without tellnig them he has a girlfriend. There's also another "friend" online that has me worried. He has been interested in her sexually for over a year and wants to start a relationship with her. He doesn't deny this to me even though he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and that she wants "nothing to do with him" in that arena. I can't believe that though because in the past they have exchanged very sexual conversation. I mean VERY sexual. He claims they no longer talk like this, but he has yet to tell her we actually met in person and that we are involved in a relationship. He claims his conversations with her are "too short" to tell her this, but they seem to have time to discuss other things. She even sent him a picture of her finally. I really don't know what to do. I love him and he says he loves me, but i guess i just don't know. We talk almost every day on the phone and our conversations have always covered pretty much everything, but I guess we've just been kinda testy lately. please help!

Answer
you have to decide if this particular type of guy meets your requirements for the kind of person you really want to be with; that means, can you accept a guy who has a higher than average interest in sexual stuff, and other women? it appears you've made this all too convenient for him; if you want him to initiate contact, stop writing/calling until HE does; as to his professing love, go by his behavior, not his words...my feeling is he'll stay in this as long as he can have it all his way...decide what's acceptable and what isn't, and lay it on the line to him, not accepting anything less than you deserve, otherwise this "player" will only get worse...az

cerita hidup d jakarta

2010-02-17T10:29:00.000-08:00

satu setengah tahun berada di ibukota.tp belum ada sesuatu yang spesial.homesick benar benar melanda.semua kegiatan seolah olah tak berguna.hanya perasaan keberatan yang setiap hari saya rasakan.setiap ada liburan,saya pasti pulang ke kampung halaman.ini menyiratkan seolah olah saya tidak niat untuk merantau.benarkah?saya sendiri juga tidak tau.hahaha..

FRIEND'S STORY

2009-12-16T06:30:00.000-08:00

I'm active duty in the Air Force (how's that for a first assignment?) while my boyfriend is in the Air National Guard and going to college in Washington State. After having known him for about 5 months (3 of those as legitimately just good friends and cohorts) I got shipped off to England (great first assignment, though). Anyway, a couple thousand miles of distance don't make it terribly easy to get to know each other better, but we'd gotten off to a great start and there was never any way either of us would have considered giving up that easy. Aside from writing frequent letters and emails, and sending more typical boyfriend/girlfriend gifts like jewelry and footballs, we've sent each other random little trinkets- I have a guitar pick with "I love you" in glow in the dark paint, a very worn, duct tape (his signature fix-it-all) wrapped deck of playing cards with the Mountain Dew design (it's his signature drink), an antenna ball, some dried sprigs of sage (which is most of the plant life around Spokane, where he lives) a battered lizard keychain and innumerable random clippings, stickers and sketches. It's little things like that which become treasures. He sent me a mix cd full of love songs- MXPX variety emo-punk love songs, granted, but somehow even sweeter because of the freshness of it, because it's his kind of music that he's always listened to and meant more to him (and therefore to me) than some old crooning slow stuff would have. He really hates having his picture taken, but because when I finally made it out to his family's place I mentioned he looked really good in this old fleece-lined army jacket of his Grandpa's, he later had his sister take a bunch of photos of him in the jacket (he even smiled on camera!) and sent them to me. On Valentines day, he couldn't have roses sent to me (me living on a military base and all) so he drew me a page full of roses and sent them in a letter. And he claims he's not a romantic... I also have his football jersey from high school, which is very comforting to cuddle up with while reading or watching movies or going to sleep. I remember when I opened the package he sent it in I thought I could smell the slightest scent of him the instant I opened it and thought I was just being pathetic until I spotted the jersey. If you can find a way to subtly include your scent in some present- do it. 'S magical. (From Rachael)

I MISS YOU TONIGHT

2009-12-16T06:20:00.000-08:00

Every nights in here,in Jakarta,its fell so empty..I falls down in here,in Jakarta.God,give me pair of wing please,Trust,i use in the right way,To meet my honey in there,Solo...Every steps of my ways in here so hard.Are you there missing me??Please answer.I need you this nights,i miss you so much.Never give to bring you there beside me if i can.

Im GLAD SHE IS ALRIGHT

2009-12-02T18:29:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow,her friends bring her to the hospital.But im sure she is alright,im sure about that.she is just little tired..Thah i thinks before,but,know what happens today??She was at home,bring by her mother.She's condition is sick,down..Im collapse again.Im struggling.I cant thinks about everything what i can do in the time like this.Thats so poor...

MORE TIPS FOR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

2009-12-01T02:44:00.000-08:00

1. Use a web cam

A web cam is a great way to interact with your mate while you are apart. Connect your web cam to your computer and use your favorite messaging utility (MSN, Yahoo, AOL, etc.) and not only will you be able to hear your mate, but you will also be able to see your mate.

2. Take pictures of everyday activities and send them to your mate

A picture is worth a thousand words and can help you and your mate feel closer together in your long distance relationship. Today, with most cell phones equipped with a digital camera and cameras small enough to fit in your pocket, it’s very easy and convenient to take pictures and email them to your mate. With pictures, your mate can easily know what you are talking about when you describe the great party you went to or the new hairstyle that you just got. Some other examples of when you can take a picture are listed below:

New outfit that your have purchased.
Family or friends get together.
Changes to your bedroom.
Changes to your physical appearance (hairstyle, piercing, etc.)
Pictures of your office or cubicle.

3. Send gifts to your mate’s from their local country or city

You can save a lot of money by searching the Internet for local companies to buy from and deliver your gifts. For example, if you are living in the United States and your mate is from Italy, find an Italian company that has the great gift that you want to send to your mate. In most cases, you will save on international shipping costs and you might even save on the currency exchange rate. Also, a local company will be able to deliver a gift much quicker for those last minute shoppers.

4. Use text-messaging capability to keep in touch more frequently

Text messaging can be a simple was to keep in touch with your mate in a long distance relationship. For those across the border relationships, this can also be an inexpensive way to communicate. It’s not always convenient to call, so text messages are a good alternative. You can send good night messages or little love notes throughout the day.

5. Trust your mate

Ideas of mistrust can easily seep into the minds of those involved in a long distance relationship because you don’t get to physically see your mate. They may be saying that they are not seeing anyone else, but how do you know that for sure hundreds or even thousands of miles away? This mistrust can ultimately lead to the relationship ending. You should approach the trust issue in a long distance relationship the same way as you would in a normal relationship. If there is no indication or evidence of cheating, it is most likely not happening.

WHEN SHE FALLS DOWN,I CAN'T DO ANYTHING

2009-12-01T02:33:00.000-08:00

today,she is sick.But i cant do anything.And then so stupid iam,when im here from her friends that he come to the hospital.But,what i can do??i ask myself,deep inside my heart i felt nothing today.I fell so guilty.One thing i can do is waiting calls from her friends.Oh God,please take care of her.Please..

I just can stand here,with prays for her in there.I imagine,in this situation,maybe i can take care of you by myself,stand beside you in the time like this.Give you a spirit,a courage for your healthy honey.The simple words that i can say for you now my honey,I just want to say that I LOVE YOU SO MUCH,AND I WORRIED NOW....please hear me my honey.

HOW TO MAKE THIS WORK SO WELL

2009-11-27T04:19:00.000-08:00

Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm currently living one. You watch other couples walk down the street hand-in-hand, kissing, etc., everyday and you can't do anything but envy them. So how can a long distance relationship work? How can you keep on loving someone if you can't even see them?

The answer is...it depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any odds thrown in its path if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I do not think that anyone knows exactly how to make it work, but I can certainly provide some points on making it work.

1. COMMUNICATION is the key.

In every relationship, whether near or far, if communication is taken for granted, it can cause the relationship to quiver until it eventually dies a natural death. That's why in any given circumstance, communication has to be given utmost importance. There are so many available media to ensure that the communication stays open. From snail mails and phone calls to chat systems and e-mails or e-cards. These media can be effective means to convey your hearts desires to your loved ones. Let them know about what you've been doing and thinking because in that way they will feel like they are there with you. This will also help you feel close even though you are miles apart.

2. Send off CARE PACKAGES.

It can be anything -- a little gift of flowers; a collection of the letters he has sent you designed artistically into a scrapbook; or your sweetheart's favorite jewelry -- it's really only limited to your imagination. Engaging yourself in this way is beneficial for both of you. You get to concentrate on gathering these items and putting them together, thus keeping your mind off not being together to a certain extent. Your loved one will see how much effort you put into it and how much you care. Even if it is nothing more than a card,it shows they mean enough to you that you can take the time to let them know. It never takes much money to show a little love with a small gift. Trust me, it can melt a heart!

3. Keep yourself BUSY.

You couldn't just sit there and wait 'til he comes back to you. What if he doesn't come back at all and all you did was sit and get your tummy flabby, won't that make you just miserable? You won't just be stunting your growth as an individual in the process but you'd also be developing emotional insecurities. In order to avoid that, you have to focus yourself on other things while waiting. Try to identify your passions. Get in touch with your creative nature. If you are a homebody, you can read tons of books which can help you grow intellectually and emotionally or you can choose to lounge before your computer and surf for hours to learn invaluable things over the internet. It's an endless "ways-to-make-yourself-busy" list and it is up to you to decide whichever you're interested to get involved in. But remember, being "busy" is not an excuse to forget your "special days" and worse yet, your loved one. You're doing it not just to occupy yourself but also to allow yourself to grow even with your lover's absence.

4. HONESTY is the best policy.

The path to true intimacy and connection especially in a long distance relationship is through "total honesty" to each other in the fullest sense of the words. By being authentic and telling your full truth to your loved one about your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, issues, boundaries, etc., you are gradually building up a zone of confidence and comfort for both of you. This is very essential if you want your relationship to really last. Seeking to avoid conflict and maintain harmony by censoring yourself can work for a while but it won't take much time until your suppressed truth comes out in other ways, such as withdrawal, resentment, "acting out," etc. I know, sometimes, telling your whole truth can be difficult and even scary, but it will result in the kind of relationship that you really want-- a relationship where all the cards are laid in the table.

5. The value of TRUST

Trust is a very fundamental aspect in any relationship. That is because having trust in a relationship takes away doubt. When you trust someone you never have to question their motivation about anything and with mutual trust that relationship is solid. You must learn to be true to the relationship and must never give way to insecurities, strange feelings, suspicions and quick impulses because these will only bring your relationship down. Don't push away negative comments, or advice. Just trust in yourself and your partner. If you two are true to each other and have no hidden motives then you'll be alright. Remember "Love never fails."

6. COMMITMENT is a habit not an achievement

In every relationship, it is a must to be able to learn how to commit and be committed. For most long distance relationships, the very reason why they fail is because both parties couldn't go on with the commitment and they feel too weak to withstand the tribulations of time.If you have committed yourselves to each other without shilly-shallying, then you have a good promise ahead of you.Your comitment to each other will keep the passion alive and the fires burning thus sustaining the growth of the relationship.

7. PATIENCE is a virtue.

Being in a long distance relationship requires being steadfast and persevering. If you aren't this kind of person and you're involved in a long distance relationship, then as much as now, you better try to learn to be patient. Focus your attention on all the positive aspects of the relationship and never give your hopes up. Showing that you value your partner and the relationship and that you are willing to work patiently through it will let them know you truly love them.

8. WEBCAM

This is applicable only for those who have the comfort of having their own personal computers at home.But for those who don't, there are computers-for-rent in cafe's with webcams already attached to the computer system. Having a webcam is actually very fun and exciting. Even if you aren't together but looking at each other's face in the broad screen makes you feel like you're just so close, so near to your loved one. My boyfriend and I use Yahoo messenger to express our emotions with smileys and it's melting my heart to see him smile in the cam when he gets my messages.

9. Make special occasions SPECIAL.

It is not everyday that a special day comes so when it does, it must be celebrated no matter how far apart you are. When I speak of special occasions, I mean birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day. During these occasions, you can plan out some heavy-duty phone call or an extended online time for the evening. Regardless of whether you talk every night or a couple times a week, be sure you both carve out some time for that particular night. If you're too stingy to settle on a lengthy phone call, but have cheap and unlimited online access, plan to send instant messages to each other or meet in a private chatroom somewhere. If you can't be together, at least you can be "talking" and "spending some private moments together".

10. ENJOY LIFE!

Not because your loved one is away, it doesn't mean that your "life" is taken away with him as he sets on for greener pastures. You have your own life to live and you must live it up to the purpose you were created for, with or without your loved one.Anyway, we have our family and friends. What are these social beings surrounding us created for anyway?

Remember,there are definite hardships associated with this relationship style but it is important that those who thrive in a long distance relationship see the suffering, difficulties, distance and time as tools in cultivating their love and rearing up the maturity in their relationship. The best you can do is to strive to be the best of who you are as a person while your partner is away so that when he comes back to you, you are already a full-grown individual whom he will love even more and be more proud of more than ever! For now, just be happy in knowing that across the miles there is someone who thinks you are so special, they are willing to engage in a terrible thing such as a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that your suffering is not forever since your loved one will be back soon and when that time comes, everything will be much sweeter than it was back then.

LOOK AT THE FISH

2009-11-27T04:06:00.000-08:00

Look at he beautiful fish there..
Owh man,what do you think if you see that situation.A group of fish,swims together,for free.
I want to be that beautiful fish.Cant feel the love,all is free.I can choose my own way of life.Oh thats beautiful..

That scenary looks like my Relationship way.Long distance relationship.Its feel so hard,everytime felt guilty.Just 3 years again to end this hard relationship.I cant understand about what im thinking in keeping my relations.Buts,so far its fine.Amiinnn God..

This is the way that i choosen.I must through this situation like that fishes.Fell so free,so perfect way of life,anyone cant disturb me at once.Hahahahahaha...

TO MAKE THIS WORK

2009-11-24T02:26:00.000-08:00

Here are some tips for making it work:

- Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. For example, are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?

- Communicate in some way every day - more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or webcams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!

- Recognize, and take advantage of, the benefits that long distance relationships offer such as more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

- Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and discuss it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.

- Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. Most relationship advice boils down to common sense; needless to say you are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.

- Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that long distance relationships can go somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

- Perhaps the toughest aspect of long distance relationships is this: Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you'll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you'll decide to go your separate ways, or you'll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.

TIPS AND TRICKS FOR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP (FROM MY EXPERIENCE)

2009-11-23T17:31:00.000-08:00

The tips and tricks for long distance relationship :

Trusts is the most important thing in the long distance relationship.Keep the trusts between both of you.You can call him,message,or just say hello on facebook.
Believe that she / he in there always waiting for you to comeback.Its important to.This point maybe will make you missing him / her eveytime,but you must do it.If the reality is not a similiar with what do you think,Its alright.Hurts maybe,but that is the bid.
Do you want to know where she he now?whats she / he doing now?With who now?.....Thinks the meaning of that question.
Because im a college student,i usually solve my college problem with her.We talking about a problem in a phone.

That tips above is my personal experience about long distance relationship.Hope you like it LDR maniacs...

TODAY IS NOT TODAY

2009-11-23T17:19:00.000-08:00

Remembered when i fall in your arm,when we were broke up..
the dream was failed..My fantasy has gone.
A half of my life are without you there..Please,forgive me.
I will show you my real love.it is come from deep inside my heart.
Dont you regret it please,more space in your heart wants.
Im here in Jakarta,you there in middle of Java.The people may thinks,"how can we spent our time 2 years for long distance relationship?".Because they dont know the power of love.

This is the experience of my life,its a real experience.All about love,long distance.

3 DAYS AGO

2009-11-23T06:03:00.000-08:00

I just cant believe it,my stars will fall down...
It is just a simple problem,but we cant understand it..
both of we are the same person..
fyuuhhhh...im forgive you as my girlfriend..Oh god,give me a patient please..
and sountrack for today is,SAOSIN - 7 years...Hope you like it..

SOUNDTRACK FOR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

2009-11-07T06:43:00.000-08:00

The Red jumpsuit apparatus are one of a thousand emo screamo band in the worlds.One of they song call "Your guardian angel" is the right song to be a soundtrack of my long distance relationship story.

That song have a strong lyric.Nice string guitar on beginning,and screamo on the end of song.Actually this song tell us about how we can love someone with all of hearts.Want to do anything for love,and sacreficing for love to.You can download this song at www.mp3raid.com

IMAGINE THAT I COULD FLY TO SOLO

2009-11-06T04:43:00.000-08:00

Once again i would to tell everyone about my personal experience about Long distance Relationship..
I live in Magetan,East java,Indonesia.But,since 2008 i live in Jakarta to study at Bina Nusantara University.I have a Girlfriend,he study at University of 11 March,Solo Middle of Java.We cant regret that we must keep a Relationship.Yeah,the only way is Long Distance Relationship ( LDR ).

Everyone,Its hard to tell you all about what i felt in LDR.Its so sad.Imagine,I and my girlfrien only just meet a twice in a year.Its very hard way to keep the trusts between us.

So,everytime,every night,and every day,I Imagine if i could fly to the city call SOLO everytime.Its Nice i think...But,thats only my fantasy maybe.

But is OK,I believe in myself if can through this.i Can pretend this love for my honey.And also her (perhaps like that).
Actually,Long Distance Relationship is juat a little problems in our life.In my experience,believe in love is the key.Love is nothing without trust.And also we must care to our girlfriend.We can ask "what are you doing now?",where are you now honey?",or you can talk in telephone Just to say "I love you so much honey,i just want to see your smile,I miss u"..

The Google Adsense

2009-11-06T02:53:00.000-08:00

I just cant believe if my new blog accepted by google to be an advertiser from the program call Adsense.You know what??because this blog is just ordinary blog with no specially topic like the others.I just cant believe it..Thanks God,thanks to google to..I will do my best as an advertiser in google.

Endorsement style rock band from time to time

2009-11-05T18:47:00.000-08:00

The picture below is just my opinions about a revolution on the clothing design of rock music..
And its just a little sample of a thousand rock band in the world.

First...
1970 - 1990

The ramones..

Iron Maiden..

Metallica...

Second
1990 - 2000

Oasis..

Stone Sour...

Third
2000 - now

Bring me the horizon

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP (my experience)

2009-11-05T06:58:00.000-08:00

Long distance relationship?familiar with that words?I think so...
I would to tell everyone about my personal experience about this tags.

FIRST.........
Im Galih,the college student of Bina Nusantara University,Accounting Degres.About an one year i spend my time in Jakarta to lead my study.Im so glad with that,but not only that.Im separated with my lovely girffiend.Oh no...God help me please..Every Night i always think about her.Her face,smile,Imagine when she kissed me.Awhhhh...its hard to tell..

SECOND........
In a one year,I meet my girlfriend only twice..When Im not study or holiday.Our time also not enough to tell whats happening..

THREE.........
I dont care what will happening,Because i know I love her so much,she is part of my life,half of my soul is go with her.I know that she felt the same things like me..Just Holy words i want to say to you my honey..."Dont Stop loving me"...