The idea of this trip was spawned once it was announced one of my favourite cousins in Italy was planning on getting married on May 22nd, 2010. But as everyone knows, one week in Europe is never enough so I made arrangements to stay with a good friend of mine outside of Zurich, travel around Switzerland with him and then head over to jolly o’ England to meet up with a business partner for a weekend before finally making my way to the wedding and the carnival schedule of visiting relatives.

Switzerland greeted me this past Friday with cloud cover and a steady forecast of heavy rain, but still with that, I’m just happy to be here.

Not surprisingly, as Monday morning came around and my buddy went to work I found myself looking for something to do for the brief periods of time between torrential downpouring. Within this time I accomplished two things:

1) Of 4 or 5 grocery stores I managed to shop at the most expensive.

Now, I don’t know if any of you have ever been mugged at gun point but I am guessing the feeling of grocery shopping in Switzerland would make someone feel equally victimized. Mind you, as I stepped off the plane last week and saw a sign for a 25 CHF ($25 usd) club sandwich, I realized I should probably up my traveling budget for this trip.

2) I managed to find myself a nice Italian coffee shop to hang out at. Leave it to me to visit the German part of Switzerland and source a spot to eat gelato and drink espresso every afternoon. Seriously, every afternoon. They speak to me in Italian and I do my best to return the favour. So far there’s been no sour faces so I guess I’m doing ok.

Though the remainder of this week I am planning on covering Lucerne, Basel, and Bern either on my own or with my buddy this Sunday morning we really kick it into gear with a road trip that defies most logic.

Salzburg, Austria

Between Sunday and Thursday of next week I will be visiting Salzburg, Austria; Munich, Germany, and then Lugano, Switzerland, in the Italian part of Switzerland. After all of this, we will be leaving Lugano around noon so to make sure I can catch my 7pm flight to England for the weekend. should be quite the whirlwind for those few days.

But in all of this flight and travel confusion, sometimes I need to stop and realize that this is the life that I wanted the freedom to explore, these are the opportunities that I one day dreamed I would have the chance to experience.

Lugano, Switzerland

It’s hard to not take these trips or moments for granted sometimes, or get caught up in the pirate-like prices in this country or the fact that I may have to build an ark should this rain continue as it has been. The fact of the matter is that I am a very lucky guy, and for whatever reason, my trips to Europe seem to always remind me of that.

North American mentality can drag down even the best of us into the Joneses mentality, and even when I am home I have moments where I need to remind myself how pointlessly empty the race of material acquisition is.

Coincidentally enough, a few books I have read lately on success, marketing, and philosophy have touched on the same point;

There is truly only one thing on the planet that is worth having money to buy, Time (for the point of this discussion I am going to include Health in this definition of “Time”).  And within that acquired time, is the freedom to live your life as you choose. Yes, this is a much denser notion to possibly be covered in another post, but I thought I would share it now as even the past few days has made this fact crystal clear.

Time allows you, not just the luxury of spending time how you choose to spend it, but also with whomever you choose to spend it with.

Geez, I’ve only been over here for 4 days and I’m already having revelations, I’m sure after a month I’ll have the cure for cancer.

Stay tuned.

The mere fact I allowed myself to get involved in a debate with two catholics about religion, for over an hour, was my first mistake.

The more logical thinkers I meet and discuss life, religion, and philosophy with, the more I am told to choose my conversations based on an understanding of listening and mutual respect, not on circular religious debate. Better to speak through open windows than closed doors.   More and more I see what they mean, but only to an extent.

If you choose only to embark on discussions of faith and fairytale that is religious based reality, with those that are in your corner, it furthers no one’s point of view, merely your own ego.  Which is I think I truly enjoy, as much as they might bother me, a debate with those who clearly see the holes in their faith, yet still shield themselves from the blinding light of truth that shine through.

No two opinions collide more violently than those of believers and non-believers, and in this context I wish to use the term ‘believers’ as those that believe in the religious doctrine, not specifically that of a superpowered, magical being who allows football players to make amazing touchdown receptions.

My only problem with this sort of debate is being referred to as “stubborn”, because to me, that is a clear indication that I am no longer engaged in discussion. My company is now clearly focused in a defensive win or lose war and not in a sharing of opinions and open minds.

Dictionary.com defines Stubborn in the following way:

unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving: a stubborn child.

In the context of friendly discussion and debate, should one person say, “I cannot believe how stubborn you are being” means they believe that I agree with their opinions but am purposely not admitting so because I wish to be correct. This is not just arrogant and close-minded, but it also removes any positive benefit of having a discussion.

I have discussions, both to refine my points of view vs. an intelligent sounding  board and hopefully gain new and hopefully more accurate perspectives into the topic at hand.

But I admit, getting to this realization has come from years of my looking at people and thinking, ‘Why is this person being so bloody stubborn? They obviously see what I mean and know I’m right.”  Once I realized the arrogance of my perspective I began to learn through discussion in a much more meaningful and self-evolving manner, mainly because all of my interactions became more valuable and obvious to me.”

I started to realize that, surprise surprise, the majority of these people I had been speaking with, were not stubborn (in the definition above) at all.  So that left me to accept two possible alternatives:

#1 I was not properly communicating my message so to resonate with them, meaning I had to refine my evidence and perspective more accurately and simply so to engage my partner better.

#2 (and most important) I should listen more carefully to what my partner is saying and try to understand their perspective as there may have been something I have been overlooking.

Let’s take last night’s religious debate for example.

I will never agree with anyone that religion is good for humanity or that the catholic church specifically is not  totally irrelevant and harmful to the planet.

Now, let me be clear on something.

I do not say NEVER in this context because I am being stubborn and refuse to listen to opposing perspectives, I say never, because throughout the last 4 or 5 years I have done a lot of reading, research, and discussing on the matter and I am fully informed on my opinion and why I believe what I do.  I have chosen my side of the fence for a reason, whereas  most christian opinions are based, still in fairytale and not able to properly deal with the reality of religion’s impact on our lives.   This also does not mean that there are not some positives within christianity, but in my opinion, the bad is an irremovable by-product of the good.

Somehow through this frustrating yet interesting debate, I managed to take a few very important perspectives away from my discussion last night.

I think I have a better understanding of how some christians almost talk themselves into apathy and continuing with the faith, even when the evidence is clear as day. I also learned how to better form my own thoughts into words on such matters, so to faciliate a better dialogue with those viewing me simply as ’stubborn’ for not agreeing with them (or even why they may be thinking that in the first place), this was very valuable.

When you value the people you engage in discussion with, to at least take the time to see through their eyes is very important.  You may not like the view, and in fact, it may even be frightening on a macro level, but at least you took the time to open your eyes.

I now always make sure, at least internally, I take a moment to appreciate those that care enough to share their opposing opinions with me and at least attempt to listen.

Anyone can talk at someone, but as I am still learning, it is an ongoing skill to be able to listen and speak with someone while leaving pride and ego at home.

Here is a good quote from a FB profile of a good friend of mine that I’ve always enjoyed:

The recipe for perpetual ignorance: Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge

Thanks for reading.

For those of you either not reading the news, or if you’re Catholic, ignoring it, Pope Benedict is in the middle of quite the disaster right now.  I call it a disaster instead of scandal because this is a very serious matter.

Tiger Woods bedding every stripper and hooker in the US is a scandal, but when you are the vicar of Christ on earth and it is now proven that you covered up multiple cases of child abuse as a Bishop and Cardinal, well, that’s a disaster.   At least it should be, but from where I’m sitting, most Catholics are still sitting in the pews acting like someone’s grandfather farted and the stink will soon pass.

Christopher Hitchens made a good point in an interview this weekend saying that, even as recent news of more and more child molestation cases come out against clergy all around the world, all Pope Benedict has done is “expressed regret” for these actions.

Am I the only one that finds this infuriating?

I “express regret” when I can’t attend someone’s birthday party, not when someone’s children are being repeatedly sexually abused.

Benedict does not ask for the arrest of these Cardinals, or further prosecution… or not even reparation for the families.  This is mainly because if the Pope supports criminal prosecution for these child molesting criminals he is effectively supporting prosecution of himself.

Pope Benedict is not just the leader of the church, but also the head of a nation, a political leader, yet we still allow a  proven accomplice to child abuse travel freely, and live without consequences.  This action alone looks at every child that has ever been abused by a member of the clergy (and the number is now well into the thousands), and says… “You don’t matter to us. We don’t care”

Christians that claim otherwise are fooling themselves.

These cases of abuse are not “rumours” or “heresay” they are recognized and documented FACTS.  Everytime you walk into a church and give money to your parish and volunteer at mass you are supporting an organization that is clearly and blatantly sexually abusing children on a massive scale all over the world.

This entire issue has been a real blood boiler for me for a long time, mainly because it is obviously a HUGE problem within the Catholic church, yet Christians seem to look past it as if its nothing.

More than one Bishop and/or Cardinal have been allowed to flee their communities and take refuge within the Vatican City. So, is that what the Vatican City is allowed to become now; a refugee state for child molestors and sexually predators? Yes, it is.

And every Catholic worth their Sunday missal should be, as far as i am concerned, up in arms enraged over this world wide acceptance of child abuse.

So the next time you hand over your donation to the collection plate, know that you are doing your part to make sure that future generations of volunteers and alter boys can experience all the torture and therapy that every other generation has.

You just better pray its not someone in your family that gets to reap the nightmare and consequences of your own apathy.

And it is in fact reality that screams in our faces to pay attention to the world around us, the people around us, and not merely let the days we have continually appear in our rear view mirrors.

Personally, I struggle with this. As I sometimes find myself focusing on the future, I forget to be an active participant in my own present.

A good friend of mine, wiser than she recognizes, once wrote about herself:

The consciousness of my own mortality often prevents me from performing menial tasks.

The profound simplicity and naked truth of this sentence always impresses me. At first glance this may look as if it were written by someone who acts as voyeur in this life, but quite the opposite. In my opinion, when you come to truly appreciate the beauty of the life we all have, only the thought of your own mortality can slow you down.

But how do we pay more attention?

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

—Ferris Bueller

This is the trick, learning to look around once and a while. I don’t practice this enough, but several years ago a good friend taught me a lesson in life awareness that I truly believe every should practice…

How To Walk Like A Macedonian

In 2005 I was transferred from my position in Toronto to work and live in London, England.  During my stay I was fortunate enough to meet a co-worker who would become a lifelong friend (for this story lets call him Vlad).

While in London my working hours ran from noon to 8pm.  As there were only two of us that had been transplanted from foreign soil we were essentially forced to either hang out together or function as an island.  Luckily we hit it off.

Most evenings after work began the same way.  Vlad and I would exit the office at Cavendish Square, walk to Oxford Circus, and decide which way to go look for dinner. From Oxford Circus we’d wander around central London like two vagabonds discussing everything from politics, to relationships, to our careers (or “jobs” as it were) and back. No topic seemed out of bounds and neither side feared debate. And realistically our sole qualifiers for a venue to eat at (from my memory) was that it was new, or that it was pizza we could carry to the arcade.  Yes, simple times.

Oxford Circus

By the end of the first month, Vlad and I were beginning to function like two old friends that had known one another for years. So one night as I began my always quick paced walk into the night, I heard Vlad behind me say, (this next part will all be paraphrased as it has been 5 years so cut me some lack would ya).

“Mike, where the hell are you rushing to? Every night we leave the office and you nearly start sprinting forward to nowhere. I’m tired of keeping up for no good reason.  I think it’s time I taught you to walk like a Macedonian.”

“That sounds great Vlad, but I don’t know if I can drag my knuckles.” (I didn’t say this at all, but it would have been hilarious it I did.)

Vlad began to discuss with me how, as he would sit in the town square in Macedonia he would watch the old men walk with their friends; Slowly, peacefully, with no where particularly  to go.  Vlad said that they seemed at ease and that as he tried it he noticed a big difference in his own perspective as well… so what the hell, I gave it a shot. Its not like I had anything else to do.

Vlad and I began our almost nightly walk through Leicester Square at a pace that made turtles look at us and say, “Right on my brothas, right on.”

No agenda. No place to be, and no direction was the right direction.

This exercise was much more difficult than I anticipated. To walk with purpose and direction is simple. You move forward swiftly, with your head up and prepared to dodge and move. In London that also means to watch you do not take an umbrella in the retina.

Vlad had me slow down so that each step would almost fall into the other, like a graceful stumble, with no further purpose but to stay erect(insert childish laugh) and edge forward.

To walk like a Macedonian takes skill and the ability to relax, to disconnect, which at most times I do not possess.  But as I began to walk lock and step with Vlad I found some amazing changes begin to take place.  My breathing slowed, my muscles relaxed, and for the first time since I had landed in the UK… I could see.

I mean reeeaally see.

Even when I had gone sightseeing on my own during the weekends I found myself on a mission, a mission to see the city of London.

Ipod- Check

Camera- Check

Wallet- Check

Map-Check

Mission is a go.

Deploy to tube station and commence sightseeing…GO! GO! GO!

Even when I was relaxing I was rushing, but not this time.

As I strolled through Leicester square I WAS in the moment.

I could see the pedestrian approaching, not as an obstacle on my path, but as a person living their life in the same space as mine.

During this walk I remember laughing as if someone had told me a joke, because truthfully, the joke had been my speed walking to nowhere mentality, and the punchline was what I had been missing.

Sometimes we have to force ourselves to look around, because it’s not about what’s in front of us, it’s about what is around us, and who we surround ourselves with, be it, friend, family, or stranger. It was a beautiful experience.

Please allow me to be clear on something, I am not saying I walk like a Macedonian full-time now, hell, I’d never get anywhere, but I make sure that every so often I slow myself down so to fully acknowledge where I am.

Several times I have been walking with a friend who would be speed walking to nowhere and I’d spend ten minutes telling them the story of Vlad and teaching them, no matter how long it takes, how to walk like a Macedonian.

Now should I ever catch myself running through life, looking ahead without knowing where my feet are, I am thankful for the gift of the Macedonian Walk, and the gift Vlad gave me that will surely last a lifetime.

Life may not be as long as we would prefer, but if we are able to breathe in the moments we cherish in all their glory, just maybe we can make the memories last a lifetime.