Periwig Power

eBay

2011-04-22T23:26:00.001-05:00

Selling a few things on the eBay; http://shop.ebay.ca/lined.paper/m.html?_trksid=p4340.l2562

Summer has begun. School robbed me of most of my time but maybe I'll update this thing now that I'm done for this year.

MAILORDER

2010-09-08T10:35:00.000-05:00

I love receiving packages!

Today I received my Kool Krates order...

These things are amazing. I've had a few CD ones, and a DVD one that fit 7" records. So i ordered a package deal, 4 small, 4 large for 30. Only shipping was about 15$ which sucked. But they totally made it worth it by giving me 7 free small ones...such a sweet surprise. I didn't even NEED all 8 I ordered. I wanted 2 large ones for my 7"s, and 2 small ones for my cds. Ended up puting all my ds games in 2 small ones, my yoyos/string/tools/parts in another one that they sent me with LITTLE DRAWERS. All my dvds in the 2 remaining large ones. Now i have 6 left. Wonder if i should ebay them...

Found my course textbook for less than half the school bookstore/amazon price is. Eat shit greedy bastards.

Connect. with Mark Kelley

2010-07-29T19:59:00.001-05:00

Featuring Winnebago man

Now they're talking about how Steve Jobs wants the iPad to be porn-free. Backed.

On the CBC website they talk about i-dosing, and NWA and Body Count's Cop Killer on a history of evil music. Amazing. Time Warner execs received death threats over that last one. Backed, and backed. I-dosing not backed. Fucking gullible teenagers. LOL!

Extinction Pt. 2

2010-06-28T19:55:00.000-05:00

Spoke too soon. Just went to Brown's Imaging and they're moving down the street. Though not developing any Ilford Pan F Plus for some reason. Shot four rolls at the G20 protests saturday. Buying a dev. tank and required chems. seems quite tempting at the moment.

While I was watching it all unfold, I receive two text messages claiming I was on CBC. Walking my dog today, some guy comes up to me and says "Random question....were you at the G20 protests?" He says that he saw me on tv and that I'm quite the popular guy. Though being popular through a television news report seems like a negative thing. I tried looking through all the news videos on the CBC website relating to G20 protests but wasn't able to get a glimpse on myself. Also checked youtube to no avail.

Extinction

2010-06-04T00:56:00.000-05:00

JUST CAMERAS has always served my photo needs. They had an in-store lab (though black and white film was outsourced), I also bought my first film slr from there. It was a Canon ElanII for a bit over 100$. They had pretty good sales every now and then. I was in disbelief when I went there only to find they had ceased operations a few weeks prior to my visit.

At this point I was stuck having to get my negs processed at Eight Elm lab near OCAD, which is terribly inconvenient. Once again, film-based photography nearing extinction.

Just recently I've been fortunate enough to find a different lab in Mississauga, Brown's Photographic Imaging, where I sent my first roll for the summer on Friday and just picked it up today. The images were from a kite flying adventure, surprise visit to Gabe at the tattoo parlour, and portraits of my grand parents for when each of their funerals. The lighting at the tattoo parlour left me having to use a slow shutter which translates into blurring, and the day I had the portrait sesh with my gps it had to be windy as hell, so those will have to be retaken when they're visiting from MTL.

Hoping for 2 things. Brown's Imaging remains in business and processes film FOREVER. My grandparents don't die before the reshoot.

Art

2010-05-25T10:25:00.000-05:00

i LOVE this. the drawing would make for a good THIGH piece.

ERINWOOD FORD FUCKING SUCKS

2010-05-20T14:03:00.001-05:00

It's service time!

Hate taking my car there cause I always knew they were a bunch of crooks. First off, I paid 350 for the whole service. That includes a bunch of shit I authorized them to do for proper maintenance, but I believe I'm entitled to 3 years of free oil changes and filters, which they did not take into account.

I had to specify to keep the burnt bulbs unchaged, since in October of 09 they scratched my bumper in the process of changing one measly bulb. I just changed all 6 of them with one hand, the other holding the taillight assembly. Morons.

Even though I specified that my fluids need topping-up, the radiator fluid remains below the level indicated on the reservoir, steering fluid remains at min. But hey, at least they added windshield washer fluid, which I don't even use.

Not only did they leave greasy fingerprints around the door handle and the front of the hood, but drops of fluid found their way onto my fender, which can damage the paint.

In response to corroding hood, their suggestion was a repaint...of only the affected area...No thanks!

Money

2010-05-14T10:34:00.001-05:00

Holy fuck has it been a while. Laziness is the main perpetrator. Add a bit of new-job to the mix, and you got yourself one deserted blog.

Thank you Google for sending me this 100$ AdWords gift card! No idea what it really does.

On Thursday April 29th, I went into an interview. I walked out less than 10 minutes later with a job. Only problem was I didn't have the opportunity to properly resign from my then current position. Training started Saturday May 1st and went on for two weeks, paid full-time. Couldn't pass up this opportunity so I went into work later that day, quit, and gave all my remaining shifts to other employees. Thanks to anyone at Abbey Sobeys for taking my shifts. Have a nice life.

So this new job puts me in one of those portrait studios within Wal Mart stores. Pretty much down the street from my house. As opposed to the Sobeys in the next town over. Two weeks of full time work is the most I've ever worked in such a short period time and it's been made clear why anyone that works full time is crazy and irritable.

This new job is pretty interesting. We do passport photos. The babies are the fucking worst cause they can never look straight into the camera or keep their mouths closed. The passport office needs to have some fucking leniency. No baby is gonna terrorize your fucking ass, and by the time they can they won't even look remotely the same. The toddlers understand "no smiling" but to them it means they need to distort their mouths and scrunch up their lips instead of relaxing them. Do kids not have control of their facial features? Serious question.

We also hold "sessions" (though not the kind I'd invite any of you to) where people come in with their kids and families and generically pose in front of generic backgrounds to create generic family portraits with a stationary camera that is mounted on a bracket and bolted into a counter. Then you upload the photos through our very own computer program that allows you to tone the images into different colours and put cheesy vignettes around each image. People like that shit. Then you gotta upsell like crazy.

Will Marr from Ill Scarlett came in for a chinese passport photo. He left. 20 minutes later he catches me walking through the wal mart aisle that leads to the studio. He was accompanied by another member of their band. He stops me and asks if his photo is actually for a chinese passport. Of course I gotta defend my work. So his friend shows me his and it's way smaller, though taken at Black's. By this time, a woman that works in the store came up and asked of his involvement with the band and that if she could get an autograph for her daughter. I said "what about me, Will, can I have an autograph?", though I was only mocking those ladies. I brought him back to the studio and showed him the specs to which the photo must adhere. He signed a couple of autographs. They left to Black's to get a retake of the other one.

The food selection was great. Across the street I had Subway, Extreme Pita, Taco Del Mar (who have cheaper vegan items!), Starbucks, and Licks! It was also right next to the EB Games store TD worked at, so I decided to hit him up for a discount on Pokemon Heartgold. This game fuckin rules! Especially the PokeWalker. Gives me something to do at work. Though I have to hide since there is a camera and someone potentially watching it. The whole system is hooked up to the regional manager's office and they can watch all the stores in their region. Big brother.

Though yesterday was my last training day at that location, and as of Monday I start at the closer location, where the only food options are McDonald's and A&W, but at least I'm close enough to drive home on my 1hr lunch break. Sweet!

I wasn't making fun of him...

2010-04-14T21:50:00.001-05:00

...I was only complimenting him sarcastically.

No title

2010-04-10T12:31:00.001-05:00

I've been watching news channels all morning while awaiting the dreadful evening shift that looms over me akin a large storm-cloud, to which I relinquish my liberty as of 3pm today. Fucked up shit.

The Catholic Church sex abuse scandal that has been garnering the public's attention over the past few months finally led to the Pope being accused of molesting children himself...actually, I think I spoke too soon, though it might eventually lead to that. At this point, however, the scandal is widening larger than the collective anal cavities of all victims that endured sexual abuse by bishops and pastors.

The Polish prez died when a Russian-built aircraft headed to Russia to celebrate the mass murder of Polish prisoners of war by the Soviets, crashed while attempting to land through the fog. Figure it out.

Some woman south of the border adopted a 7-year old Russian orphan and had to ship him back on an airplane with a note claiming the item be damaged. Firstly, Russians are fucked up. If you don't believe me, check out Russian beats five scene kids to a bloody pulp one by one. And I'm sure they make up 90% of all those UFC fighters. Secondly, 7-year old orphans are fucked up. So it's not out of the ordinary for such a child to claim future arson of his new home and draw images to better illustrate his idea. I'm remembering the name Artem Saveliev for 20 years from now, when this kid is some demented russian serial killer, or perhaps a child molester. Hopefully he'll find God in his life and follow the path to priesthood.

Anarchy

2010-03-24T14:16:00.000-05:00

Since they begun charging for parking at TTC subway stations, I've wondered if its possible to slip into the parking lot right after a paying customer.

I've never had the guts to try it though, fearful of the arm lowering onto my car's roof. Day after day, I show up and watch lineups of people get robbed of 5$ by the TTC parking lot. Parking used to be free with the monthly metropass, but now its just not worth buying due to this unavoidable parking charge.

Today was rather different. What unfolded was the baddest of bad-ass behaviour on my part. I pull up behind this man in a big orange jeep. He's dropping coins into the machine and once he's done the arm lifted. My heart starts racing and the adrenaline's pumping as I see an entrance. The jeep went through the gate pretty fast, leaving me with a huge space and quite a bit of time before the arm lowers, judging by past observations of the arm in action. I decide to tap the accelerator pedal and make it through the gate, seeing the arm drop right behind me. At that point, I had made it into the parking lot unscathed and 5$ richer than I anticipated being. I see the man in the car ahead gazing at me through the driver's side mirror. Another woman was entering the lot at the same time, and since I was in a good mood, I gave her the right of way.

I'm glad I acted in accordance with the circled A that happened to be on the shirt I was wearing.

This is kinda scary

2010-03-23T07:52:00.002-05:00

Jukebox Etiquette

2010-03-20T00:52:00.000-05:00

The pool hall Nicole and I frequent bi-monthly has one of those digital jukeboxes that are 50c a pick. After a game I decide to stick a dollar in it and pick a couple of tunes, one for the lady of course. Though in my way are these two sad motherfuckers who popped four dollars in there and are picking away at 5-6 songs (bonus songs are given to those who put over three dollars).

I stand behind them and say "Damn, this machine has a lot of shit*" (*not used figuratively)

They confirm this. I then suggest that they pick Papa Roach, a favourite of mine, claiming that "there's nothing cooler than filming a whole music video within a wrestling ring". Though I couldn't keep this hoax going on much longer and admitted that I hated Papa Roach. They held the same opinion.

After waiting a while longer it was finally my turn to choose. Navigating through the music using the touch screen was too fast and jittery, but I finally made it to artists starting with the letter B before I gave up. I picked Beastie Boys-Fight for your right, and my second choice was Britney Spears-Baby one more time (to which I knew the lyrics in their entirety).

We started our second round, and by the time we finished, neither of my picks have been played due to the lack of respect for the jukebox code that those two guys displayed. We paid for the game and were about to leave when Nicole suggested we sit down for a few minutes and wait for the songs to come on. The only clue I gave her as to what those songs were was the mere fact that both artists were in B since I gave up and didn't want to keep flipping through the whole list.

R.I.P. Grandma Olive

2010-03-19T16:38:00.000-05:00

I sincerely hope that's her real name.

Window Tint

2010-03-19T16:11:00.000-05:00

I was driving towards Kipling station early monday morning. I usually stick to the far-right lane due to my car being in no condition to keep up with all the other speedy motorists. Approaching the rear-end of a slow-moving truck, I decide to quickly glance over my side mirror and blind-spot. I did this too fast and ended up enduring massive whiplash. As I proceeded with the lane change, the pain at the back of my neck caused facial distortions and a need to massage the affected area. I felt the gaze of other drivers around me. I felt naked without the gaze-protection window tint has to offer.

It's been four days and I feel like there's a tumor at the back of my brain. Bending down gives me throbbing headaches. Dying is better than this.

Sorry Gabe

2010-03-12T22:00:00.000-06:00

Nothing is worth an entry.
Except this.

The Shape of Comfort to Come

2010-03-01T22:40:00.002-06:00

I was at Staples the other day picking up documents from their print center. I had a walk around the store first because I enjoy looking at office supplies. They had these cool rubber pencil erasers with a smiley face on each that I wanted, but with a bit of help I was able to overcome the urge to splurge.

When I got to the desk chairs, the urge was back. I saw a chair that I originally thought was absurd in design and probably uncomfortable to sit on in the designated way. The only way figure out the deal of this chair was to actually try it out, and I kinda wish I didn't because now I know what I've been missing these past 21 years of sitting on my ass.

This is a knee chair. The lower cushion is for your knees, and the top one is for your ass. It's comfortable as fuck. Whoever reads this must go out to the nearest Staples store and try it out themselves. Too bad it's 140$.

Emo/Post-Hardcore Love

2010-03-01T22:27:00.000-06:00

I got Still Life's "From Angry Heads With Skyward Eyes" in a record lot from ebay. I paid about 30$ for 7-8 LPs, though I only wanted one of them and figured the rest of them were ebay re-sale material. Don't blame me, the 90's had some of the worst album covers (my bad for judging based on that).

So I got the Ten Yard Fight album I wanted, but what would become of the rest? I looked through them one more time. Boy Sets Fire, for one, was a familiar name. As was Still Life. Man Will Surrender had a typical hardcore band name. The rest was all foreign to me. None of the covers were particularly capturing, with bad image quality at some really poor resolutions. It was like printing technology regressed at least 20 years once it turned midnight on December 31st 1989. Or does that particular midnight belong to January 1st 1990?

One album surpassed everything and became an instant favourite upon rattling my tympanic membranes. "From Angry Heads..." is simply amazing. The true definition of melodic, emotive hardcore. Fans of 00's era "emo" should be ashamed of dragging this genre and all it stood for through dirt, cow urine, sweaty donkey ball curtains, and a field of asshairs. Each track an epic masterpiece, and despite losing interest in songs over a minute, I can listen to this album on repeat for days. Can't say much more about this.

Extras

2010-03-01T16:54:00.000-06:00

I've been on a serious Starbucks streak ever since I found out that I can substitute the milk in any drink containing it for soy milk. The peppermint hot chocolate (sans whipped cream) is an amazing cure for all that ails me during the wintertime (mainly boredom and a case of the chills). The peppermint is extra, which is to be expected, as is the soy milk substitution. An extra 50 cents for both, making my hot chocolate a whole dollar over the regular price. I never gave much thought to this since the soy milk is the only option I have.

Though before my last visit to Starbucks, these thoughts were a-brewin'. Why am I paying extra for this soy milk? I'm not adding it to my milkshake, simply subtracting the milk and replacing it with the soy milk.

I thought I'd take these questions further and ask one of the staff members. By the time I got in line and began placing my order I totally forgot of the issue at hand. Entering my PIN on the machine, this bitch is trying to upsell me by blabbing about a special Starbucks card that voids the extra cost of soy milk. This caused me to mess my PIN up. As I'm entering it for the second time, I think about what she said, about the Starbucks card that saves me 50 cents each visit, to which I inquire about the extra charge for soy milk.

"Oh, it's extra for soy milk?"
She confirms this, adding that it's a 50 cent charge.
"Oh, ok. Is it extra for milk too?"

She knows what I'm getting at. I'm then told that the difference between the cost of soy milk to cow's milk costs the company more money. As if it wasn't negligible to the almighty Starbucks.

Luckily, it's negligible to me.

Angry Electronic Mail-Loblaws

2010-02-28T18:31:00.000-06:00

I was at the Glen Erin store Friday evening at the express checkout lane, being served by cashier number 314. Upon departing from the terminal, I checked my receipt and noticed that she failed to deduct 50% off the price of a product affixed with a pink sticker that I specifically positioned to be within her view. The sticker reads "Reduced for quick sale". The item had a best before date of MR02. I would not have bought this item if it wasn't for the 50% deduction.

Portraiture

2010-02-23T20:16:00.002-06:00

Here's a project I'm working on for a class. The premise of this work is to properly expose for the ambient light in the background, and usign a fill-flash to properly illuminate the subject. I decided to have friends hopping on a mini-trampoline. Here are the results.

Kramer painting

2010-02-23T18:54:00.000-06:00

Despite the obstacles faced before work, I was singing a much different tune post-work.

I had to pick up my sister from the furthest Wal Mart she could possibly be at when her friend's ride flaked. I wasn't too thrilled about that. I was on my way home from work and was literally 2 minutes away when she called, though I guess there wasn't anything I could do about that.

She happened to mention a gift over the phone, to which I barked "I DON'T CARE!...what is it?" Of course I was curious, though I figured it must be a polaroid camera she found while hunting at Goodwill, which is cool.

When I finally arrived at her waiting place, I was greeted with something I would've never imagine owning in my entire life. Behold, ladies and gentlemen;

trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr TSHHHHH

My very own, Kramer painting. An amazing ending to a very shitty day. To add to that, I made that microwaveable Uncle Ben's rice, and made two amazing rice burritos with vegenaise, guacamole, salsa, and some lettuce/tomatoes. Went great with the pina colada tea.

I can't let myself forget the accident though. Need to contact insurance company pronto.

Obstacles

2010-02-23T18:18:00.000-06:00

On my way to work this morning, the ground was indeed slippery. Though nothing a 4x4 Nissan Pathfinder can't plow through.

So I'm facing the treacherous terrain not too far from home, and all of a sudden this lady turning into the street I was about to turn out of starts skidding out of control towards my car. I knew I was fucked. She nails me right in the front left corner. The impact punctured the coolant reservoir as it began leaking over the bent bumper. She was unable to exit through the driver's side door since I'm assuming the body panels on that side all got unaligned. She took the turn way too fast to be skidding across such a wide road. Not only that, but her tires weren't proper for the weather conditions. She tried to claim that I could have avoided her since I was so far away, but the truth is, she's just Asian.

There just happened to be two cops driving by, and one of them turned around and told me that he would return if all was good at the call he was on his way to attending. Four tow-trucks further crowded the intersection, waiting around like vultures. The lady's husband drops by looking frustrated, to which I jokingly asked the lady whether or not I should fear getting beaten up. Eventually, another policeman came to check out the damage, though the evidence, I'm sure, was clear. He asked me for an explanation as to what happened, and it was brief, though there wasn't much to be said about the situation. Then he asked all parties involved (vultures included) to move to the Mac's plaza a block over in order to let the morning rush through.

Once there, I sat in the tow-truck while he wrote a report. He then signalled me over to his police cruiser and handed me the report, then the woman and her husband went up to grab theirs, having a little chat with the cop and issued what looked like a yellow slip.

My mom flipped out upon finding out the fate of her beloved 12-year old mode of transportation, despite me not having any control over the situation.

Asians are the worst drivers. No offense.

Neti-Potting

2010-02-22T13:11:00.003-06:00

Otherwise known as "nasal irrigation by neti-pot".

I presume the sound was muted due to the disgusting sounds one must make while attempting this.

I totally had to try this. I've had nasal congestion for as long as I remember, and I wish I found this video sooner. But what the fuck was I gonna use? I don't have one of those neti-pots, nor any small teapots...

After initially giving up on this endeavour, I ran back into the kitchen, quickly looking through every cupboard in search for something useful. I'm imagining all sorts of spout-bearing instruments I may be able to stick into my nose. Maybe a beer-bong...but I don't have one. Oh a bong!...eww too dirty.

I then realized that beer-bongs actually have nothing to do with the physical qualities of "tobacco" bongs, and they're more like oversized-funnels! Therefore, a small kitchen funnel would do the trick!

I grabbed the funnel, a styrofoam cup, and a day-old 1.5L bottle of Nestle® Purelife. I ran into the bathroom. I was trying to be as quick as possible in this execution so my dad doesn't come home, see me doing this, and think it's some sort of elaborate suicide attempt.

I mixed the water with with some epsom salt in the styrofoam cup, and stuck the funnel into my left nostril ensuring it was pointing up for the introduction of water.

Tilting the cup slowly, I began feeling water flowing into my nostril and out of my mouth. It was a challenge getting the proper flow going and took a bit of practice. I stopped to take a breather only to find two giant stalactites of mucus (wicked name for a metal band) extending from either nostril. I took a huge blow into a Scotties® facial tissues and the mucus had a tinge of redness to it, though not enough to alarm.

What a relief! I still felt a bit stuffed up so I decided to do it again, this time with greater command of the technique.

It's been an hour since I did this and I'm back to being stuffed up again. Going for the hat-trick.

Sunday Feb. 21st

2010-02-21T13:34:00.014-06:00

~~Charge generators.~~
~~Eat~~ quick.
~~Clean Gary's bowl.~~
~~Shower~~
Pick up package from post office.
Buy ~~light-diffusing fabric.~~
~~Take Matt's tramp-o-portrait~~ at 4pm, skatepark.
~~Pick up Nicole~~
Shoot in dark forestry @ 7-8pm (sunset @ 5:56pm)