I did not have the indoor season I really wanted. I seemed to be really unfocused at the start of the race. The 60m start is pretty intense and it took me forever to get comfortable. I just don’t know how else to explain training and doing so well at practice and not performing in races. I usually do well under pressure, but I think this was more of a comfort issue.  At the end of indoor, I felt like I finally was getting used to the start, but by then the season was over.  It was a bummer. I really wanted to post a 7.18.  Mentally that didn’t really put me in a good place going into outdoor, but I’ve had to move on from indoors mentally and just say the hell with it.   With 90 days, I don’t have time to sulk. I don’ t have time to do much but train.

So my book, The Tick Slayer, is finally coming back from print this week. Thank goodness! I am hoping that will help my focus as well. Once it’s out there, it’s out there.   I wanted to do such a good job on it and for some people, a book, is a life long dream that takes a lot out of you. For me, it’s the first book and not the last. But yes, it was a huge undertaking. I don’t really advise having a book come out during an Olympic year….especially one that is attempting to get thousands of people healthy from a disease!

Today, I’ll talk with my coach and start figuring out a plan for the next 90 days. I will have to revamp things and run what I’m comfortable running. I’m not saying I’m not comfortable running a 100m. Eventually, for some reason, I do believe this will be my best event.  If  eventually race, like I train. I could be on the top marks list of all time.  But it really is a skill to get good at. The start, the acceleration/drive phase, etc. etc. It’s a lot to absorb in one year.

I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I’ve heard people tell me that I’m doing the wrong thing, but in my heart it feels right.  When I was young, I did what everyone else told me to do and it got me just shy of every goal I ever had.  For some reason, when I do what I FEEL is right, things just line up (eventually).  So I continue on and stay clear of the pessimistic people….and there are a lot of them out there.

I have to say it will be quite a huge relief to have the book out.  The Olympics are right around the corner and I have been thinking about it almost daily.  I write in my new book, The Tick Slayer, about my fight with the disease and missing the 2008 Olympics because of it. It was totally crushing (not even the right words to describe the disappointment) so it’s hard to believe that it’s about that time again.  So much has changed in four years.

…..and since I’ve made such a huge change with the events I’m running, I have to stay firm in my belief of what I can do as a sprinter.  It’s a gutsy move. But I trust myself and I trust my coach.

I’M ALL IN.

Training is going really well. I’ve literally transformed my body in little over a year from a middle distance runner to the beginnings of a sprinter.  The 800m is still not out of the question, but my focus is the 100m and everything else up to the 800m will fall into place like it should. I really look forward to competing this outdoor season. This is a World Championship year, so it’s a pretty big year for track, it just gets MUCH bigger for the Olympic year.

I’m healthy, getting fitter and feel like I’m really on the right path.  I have very strong feelings for why I went through what I did and how much I’m going to be able to help everyone else who is chronically ill. I know I went through it for a reason.  I just can’t wait to get it all out there. Even being the private person I am,  I’m willing to sacrifice that comfort.

This year past year has been ripe for change.  It’s not that I’m dumping the 1500m and 800m, it’s just that I’m taking a break because I found out that I’ve got major speed, you could say a huge undeveloped talent.  It takes speed to run the 800m, but the 60m is over before I can figure out what happened. I’m okay with losing a few races to get it right, but the change has been beyond strange; however, I remain committed to the idea that I will be running the 100m outdoor and that my chances are good.

Besides probably being the most unique and unprecedented move in track and field history, I find it kind of fitting. With my book coming out soon (which is all about controlling your destiny, once you figure out you can), making my move to the 60m (as a “skinny” white girl) is hilarious.  We all know I’m not really skinny, but I often chuckle when I hear someone refer to me as “skinny,” if only they could see my lift weights ( I’m up to eight plates on my leg press).

So the good news is that I’m disciplined like a middle distance runner and I can apply that to the sprints. The other good news is my fitness level is going to be hard to beat (especially now that I’ve written the book on getting healthy and doing the opposite of what everyone else does). At 32, I’m healthier and fitter than I’ve ever been in my entire life. As each year passes from my illness, it just gets better and better.

The only bad news is that it takes time to get used to a new event and honestly I’m feeling that right now.  For example, my old race (the 800m) is where you run hard and try to relax so that you can make two laps and have some gas left in the tank for a sprint at the last part of the race (sprinting when you are on EMPTY).  You try to hold on aerobically as long as possible (trying to stave off the anaerobic pinch).  The 60m is all about exploding out and leaving no gas in the gas tank. It’s a drag race and you don’t hold back at all.  It’s been hard to change my thinking because the two events are so opposite.

I’ve raced a few times thus far and while I have the speed to do it, I have to work on my drive phase. I didn’t even know anything about a “drive phase” until this month.  Funny, right?  I’m trying to laugh, but it’s a bit frustrating at times. Why does everything have to be a learning experience!  ….That wasn’t a question.

I’m optimistic about my future in these new events. I’m obviously eying the 100m, the 200m and the 400m.  My old coach ( US Olympic coach) said I had sub 50 sec quarter speed. Sub 50 gets you gold medals (if you didn’t know).  I just don’t think he really ever saw me as a real sprinter….just like all my other coaches. Is it my exterior? Does it go against the stereotypical thought?  I’m surprised at how many people in this world have thoughts that aren’t their own and they believe so deeply in them.

Well, I can just say one thing to that.  Don’t judge me so quickly.

Let’s not forget one of the fastest women of all times was a tall Russian woman. I grew up watching her run and I remember how excited people were to see her run.  If I were Russian, I doubt anyone would think it was strange.

The Tick Slayer

For those who don’t know, I decided to write a book about my whereabouts for the last 5 years. I just disappeared from Track and Field.  The book is about my health crisis and what I had to do to make it back to the track.  It’s a good story (it will be very inspiring to many people) and everything in the book is very candid about the journey and what I experienced.  I think it will resonate with the masses, because EVERYONE knows someone (loved one, family member, co-worker, friend, etc.) who has had a serious illness or condition (or is presently dealing with one).

I didn’t want to just write another story of success because I feel there are plenty out there. I wrote it because I knew my take on the situation and success was not ordinary or mainstream.  It offers a viewpoint that will be life changing for many.

I wrote something that will be very helpful to anyone in this type of situation (the details of what I had to do to get healthy). Lyme disease is just another autoimmune disease and honestly Lupus, ALS, MS, Alzheimer’s, Lyme disease, Cancer and a slew of other diseases are very similar. We love to give names to diseases and then pretend they are all different and “special” but honestly, everyone who gets sick with an autoimmune issues, has the same systematic, total body, break down.  The treatment may vary, but why people get sick in the first place is ALL TOO SIMILAR.

The hardest part about the book is that I’m a private person and I’ve had to get over it. Having a story that thousands and probably millions of people will read scares me, but I’ve gotten pretty tough over the years.  I feel like I have the support of enough people who love me, so I jumped into this and it’s too late to go back now. …ah, I probably wouldn’t go back anyway!  It’s going to press in a few months!  www.TheTickSlayer.com

I’m working hard right now to get this totally completed. I’ve started pre season training for the upcoming track season with a new coach.  Once the races come, my job is running, winning and promoting my book.

My painting for the Turn The Corner Foundation

This is what I was doing this past weekend.  I was making a painting for the Turn the Corner Foundation ( a Lyme charity) to be auctioned off.

I guess some people know now that I do a lot of painting. It was very therapeutic during my recovery, although it was hard to find any inspiration during those years.

There is a lot of symbolism in this painting. I was thinking about doing a big devil’s head (since we’re talking about Lyme), but I figured it wouldn’t get a bid.

What This Painting Means

The tree represents The Tree of Life (Celtic).  It’s a spiritual reference as I believe having faith that you can recover is very important. It’s important to believe first and then start treatment.  It also represents the stages of life, and for me, and for many people who do recover from a long battle with Lyme disease or any other autoimmune disease, it’s pretty life changing (in a good way).  The disease teaches you to deal with stress better and the poison that you had in your life before is removed…only people who remove poison (whether it be people, emotions and/or different stressors) can recover. So it is a stage of life that is a lesson in itself.

The tree is seen during the different seasons. I did this because I was making a comment on how long it takes to have a good successful recovery.  Most people who have chronic Lyme, will see the different seasons while they are ill.  It’s also making the point to health care professionals about the time that it takes. It’s important for these people not to give up on their patients. It’s important that once they take someone on, that they have a responsibility to see that person through.

The tree is sitting on a globe, which represents how many people are affected by this disease and the spread of it worldwide.

Lastly, the girl at the bottom sitting near the tree is me. I guess it could be anyone. The reason why I chose gray is that it’s a color that fades, making it more of a background image (past tense).  I’m done with the illness, but I can never forget what happened.  The impression will be lasting forever.

Get Your Bid On

http://www.turnthecorner.org/content/gala-spotlight

The gala to raise money for the research of Lyme Disease.  There is a silent auction. You or your friends can bid on the painting during the silent auction or you can contact them to buy the painting. I’m sure if you wanted to stick a check in their hand, they would take it.  

It’s a 2 feet by 3 feet painting (not small). I should also say the picture does not really do it justice. Anytime you are dealing with metallic paint, it’s very hard to see it in a photo. The snowflakes, for example, are silvery and really pretty!
If you like this, please re post this link! Let’s get some good bids!

A few months passed and I found it very motivating to be in Co Springs.  I spent much of the year training hard and harder and trying to get back to the level I used to be at.   So I made the decision to move-move back in the spring of this year.  It was hard because I was going back to a place where I had no coach at,  just because I liked it there.  At 31, I just didn’t feel like following a coach around and being somewhere I didn’t want to be or be with a group of training partners I didn’t like.  In your early twenties or mid twenties, you do these things.  When you get a little older and more mature (which is usually the time that athletes do their best), they stop doing these things.  Part of the success is about being happy.

When I have to do long run (which I hate doing), I think about how happy I am doing it because I’m running in the mountains and it’s motivating. Something I hated before, turns into something I enjoy.

In spring, I was at the track (and there are many good ones here) and I happen to meet a runner and his wife.  The wife (a Bosnian girl who runs the same events), has the potential to be the perfect training partner for me and is very talented and a few years younger.  After hooking up with them, I just recently met their friends, Khalid and Sandra Khannouchi.  Khalid has won the Chicago marathon a bunch and is a World Recorder holder for the marathon.  His wife is his coach!  I see a lot of female coaches, coaching females, but when you see a female coach successful men…that’s REALLY COOL.  That’s the ultimate respect.

I had a talk with Sandra last night for the first time.  Sandra and Khalid are moving here. Khalid will be training some with my friend ( they are both originally from Morocco).   Sandra had interest in coaching me so we sat down and spoke about it.

Usually I would not even consider a female coach.  I had a terrible one in high school and my last year at Clemson University.  Both were cruel, pretentious, control freaks and worst of all, the college coach was very insecure ( she fell very short in her actual coaching abilities and knew it, the athletes had no respect for her).

However, I have to admit. I had a few dreams this past year about being coached by a blond woman!  And I have to also admit to the fact that some of the greatest female middle distance performances of all time, have had female coaches behind them.  Some of the best athletes in my event have female coaches.  So obviously, I’d be a fool if I let my past influence my future.  There will always be a few bad apples everywhere…there are probably just a lot more involved in sports (coaches, agents and even athletes).

Part of my problem in the past is that after college, I never really had anyone put things together well enough for me. My support was just not strong enough ( it’s hard to find the right coach and the right agent).   A good athlete is never out there by themself and even though I’m a total renegade I have to realize that I can’t go this alone.  Especially since I’m eyeballing World Records and Olympic medals and have been since I was  5 and I’m starting to come into the age where I can make it happen finally.

Sandra was told about my 5 year Lyme disease ordeal and I believe she sees it like I do.  It could be the perfect storm, because my gas tank is full.  Everyone knows that once you start running hard (usually which starts in college) you only have so long before you are forced to break or just quit because your body is so beaten down.  In college, I never ran every year. I pretty much had ONE SEASON, because of the school changing and the coaching changing (colleges love to fire and hire track coaches).  I never really got ruined in college, but left pissed off because I should of been an NCAA Division 1 Champion. I couldn’t find the right program to get in.

So not only have I had a wishy washy college career (with a few amazing performances, which just gave me the realization how good I really was), I spent 2005-2009 on my ass.  My body was working hard and rebuilding itself after my health break down.

The best part is that I’ll be 32 this December and Sandra said I have atleast two Olympics in me. She said I probably wouldn’t even peak till age 36-37.   I knew this from what I feel with my “new” body, but having her say that meant we were on the same page and I liked that.   I liked the fact that she realizes I’m speed oriented and that someone like me needs to race 400m, even though I am a true 800m/1500m runner.

I also like the fact she reminds me of my sister (an attorney) who is spunky and no bullshit.  If I suck, she is going to tell me I suck….and I like that.  If she doesn’t know something, she is going to get out her speed dial and call her contacts who do have gold medals in my events and will find out what needs to happen.  She is going to ask my opinion about how I feel and take that into consideration, because nobody really knows their body the way an athlete does.  She might kick me off the track on shitty days, but will make me dinner afterward.  That’s the type of person I gathered from our conversations.

Sandra is also an agent. Apparently a very good one.  The problem in track and I guess other sports is that the coaches and agents aren’t always on the same page.  The athlete really suffers from this.  She can act as a coach and an agent, so that everything is succinct.  This is exactly what I’ve been missing.  Her philosophy is know your race schedule and then plan training around it.  I’ve never had this done for me and I’m highly motivated (I become a different person), when I know what will happen in two weeks, two months, 6 months and even a year down the road.  I like to see what I’m going after and do not think I’ll have any motivation issues this year.

**I should say that I’m already motivated because of the Lyme disease ordeal (because I feel like I’m doing the impossible each day I go out and train…and realize a lot of people are watching me), but now having this come into place, makes me incredibly excited about what I’m doing and where I’m going with this running stuff.

I came to Colorado Springs now knowing anyone but my friend (who is now deployed in Iraq) and everything I came here for seems to have fallen into place very quickly.  I wished for it and it came knocking.  I couldn’t be more thrilled right now.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Sainz-incident-draws-cultural-moral-lines?urn=nfl-269542

It’s about a good looking sports reporter from Mexico who apparently was made very uncomfortable in the Jet’s locker room while waiting to do an interview.

I hate how media twists things up and tries to portray her as a trouble maker.  They’re saying how she was inviting trouble because of how she was dressed (on that day she was in jeans and a shirt), but some of these media people went to her website, saw hot photos of her and are making the conclusion that she is trouble.  Oh please!  She’s hot and if you’re hot I would hope you would “dress to kill”…no way she looks even the slightest bit slutty (but even if she does to some people,  these football players get paid WAY to much to NOT be professionals). 

 The fact is, she is attractive, she was in there to do her job (and apparently has been doing this type of job for a number of years) and if she is around dudes all the time and if it gets to the point she is “uncomfortable,” I’m positive some jerk (or jerks who play for the Jets) did say very inappropriate things.  Probably very nasty things.

I would know because I’m around guys all the time also (male athletes) and it would take some seriously inappropriate comments to really get me heated (and they would have to be directed at me).   I’ve heard it all and I suspect she has also, but someone crossed the line with her.

I actually had an incident in college where a football player (nobody I even knew), came up behind me on campus with his friends and started talking about my “white” private parts.  I’ve heard a lot before, but I had never had this happen and became very angry when he told me to “chill and calm down” when I turned and confronted him. I guess he was expecting me to be so embarrassed that I couldn’t even look. Wrong!

 When I reported it, I got the run around from Bill D’ Andrea (of Clemson University, who is high up in the athletic department) about how he wanted to “squash” it right there.  Of course the football player denied it and acted like I was making it up. I couldn’t even make up the comments that were said. My brain just doesn’t work like that.  All in all, nothing happened to Charles Haffley (yep, that’s his name , I soon found out).  Apparently, I’m just some hot girl inviting trouble.  I just wanted him to admit it and say he was sorry.

…what’s interesting is that Charles enrolled himself into some charity type program on campus afterwards (some kind of mentoring for little kids, not sure how well that went for the little kids).  Maybe that was his way of saying I’m sorry, even after he was lying to everyone and never officially said it to the one person that it needed to be said too.  I forgive you Charles (but it’s harder to forgive Billy D).  Mr. D’Andrea smokes a pack a day, so he’s already taking his self- adminstered poison.  I’m not mad anymore about it, just sorry I had to go through it.  It’s life.

Sainz is simply saying I want to do my job, so keep it professional. She is leaving it up to the NFL to review her tapes etc. and make the judgement. She is doing the right thing and allowing the NFL to make the call. It’s bad business when a reporter from another country has to deal with a bunch of assholes from another country.  People will stand by other people from their own country.

She is in no way pressing legal charges, she just wants a little justice.  I think she derserves it. If they find the biggest offenders on the tape, the NFL should make a few of those boys sit out a few games and let it serve as a reminder to the other boys how NOT to act. 

Yes, there are some crazy girls out there that are starting trouble.  Like all the women who knew Tiger Woods was married and the occasional pathetic woman who really needs the attention and makes up false allegations, but I believe when you hear of these sports guys who get in trouble, more often than not,  their behaviour is probably true.

The point is this kind of stuff happens a lot (mostly not reported) and I hate how the girls involved become the target of the fans.  If you’re a man just think how you’d feel if that were your daughter.  There is no excuse for it.

For all the girls out there reading this, you just have to stand up for yourself at some point.  It’s important NOT to be a pushover and live with any anger.

What has changed is that I’ve been living at altitude now for about 10 months (give or take a few) and am much more acclimated to 6,000 feet.  I’m also in a permanent place where I can train and know where I can go to do specific runs.  I don’t feel like such a stranger here anymore….it feels more like home.  So there is a comfort level now that I didn’t have. It makes it easier to train.

I also have some athletes here I’ll be training with so that will be very helpful. 

Last year in October I had just started lifting weights and remember how tough it was to lift anything heavy, but I’m now starting off close to where I was at last year, even after a long break.  This is all very good news.

So the next few months I’ll be running way more miles then I really would like to do, but I know it’s necessary to build a good base so that I can last for outdoor season (all the way to August, which is World Championship month).  It was just too hard to race for a full year, when I had nothing to back it up (coming from Lyme disease and a major illness that I thought was going to kill me).

It takes some background to be able to be strong enough to last for as long as the track season can go. This year I’ll be totally prepared and I’m very excited about it.

On a sidenote, I’m a huge fan of the late Dr. Seuss and I love the website: http://www.seussville.com/.  It’s a good place to blow off some steam.   Many people don’t realize what a prolific artist he actually was, his art is not just about imaginary creatures! 

I “seussed” myself yesterday on their website.   You can refer to me as “Mayzie Violet McFuzz (because I would obvioulsy be Scoth- Irish in Seussville, there is no denying that fact ).”  The scary part is that my hair looks a lot like this today.

I've been Seussed!

A few weeks ago I went to the annual Star Trek convention in Lawless Vegas.  It was a lot of geeky fun.  Besides Shatner and Nimoy, I also got to see Jaws from James Bond and the guy with the leather ass chaps from Mad Max.

I grew up watching Star Trek when I was little and have always been a SciFi fan ( I guess that’s the geek in me).  The funniest part is when members of the crowd would ask the actors questions, referring to “episode 10, season 1, scene 2″ and of course, the actors had no idea what they were talking about…because they could barely remember.  The fans apparently remember everything!  Of course, Klingons  in motorized wheelchairs is pretty funny too.

with Klingon and Jet Pack Bubble Girl...err, Boy

phasering a tribble

I also went to Utah and visited Zion Park, my favorite national park that I’ve visited thus far. I think it should be on everyone’s “to visit” list.

Zion Park

camping in Zion

Zion Park, going up Angel's Landing

Angel's Landing Zion Park

view below in Zion

view from Angel's Landing

hiking through the slot canyons

the ridge is the climb up to Angle's Landing

Goblin Valley Utah

near the Grand Staircase!

cool storm coming over the Grand Staircase

part of the Grand Staircase (the area above the Grand Canyon)

Hoover Dam- still can't believe it was made so long ago...

Vermillion Cliffs

We also visited the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, which is far less crowded than the South Rim….

North Rim Grand Canyon

Strangely enough, right next door to Zion park (about 25 miles) is the largest polygamy colony, Colorado City.  I just had to go look, my curiosity made me do it.  What I found was something completely cult-like and just plain strange (not to mention wrong on so many levels).   The kids are all blonde  (kind of like Children of the Corn) and nobody over the age of 13 smiles….rightfully so I guess (probably the age when you realized how screwed up your parents are).   I have no idea what they do for work out there, but from what I heard the kids are all on welfare and live off the government.  I just can’t believe that it’s legal what they do out there.  Once we drove in, it took us about 15 minutes to figure out how to get out of the town.  No marked buildings,  strange looks from everyone, no trespassing signs on each house (houses that clearly are all work in progress- types, just particle board and no siding), men in suits gathering and just hanging around.  Ben said he wanted to hurry and leave as he thought a gang of blonde men were going to lock him in a basement and torture him….and I’d be married off by sundown.  

polygamist house

Since I’ve been back, I’ve started to think about what I have to do for next year. It’s a big year in track and field.  It’s the 2011 World Championships.  I’m pushing hard to get the book out and to finish up my health maintenance. I’ll probably get some blood work done this week to check my levels.

I’ll be working harder to build from what I’ve done since last year, which means I’ll be putting in more distance and building a stronger base.  Last year, since it was my first year back I really didn’t have much of a base to keep me going throughout the season, but this year will be very different.   The break was nice, but I’m starting to look forward to next year.

I’m settled into my new house here in Colorado Springs and I actually look forward to next year.  I have a training partner for next year (a Bosnian girl) and I think it will go well.  There are also a number of men here that can train with me.

I guess the most exciting part about next year is that it’s a World Championship year, which is a nice set up before the following year, which is the Olympic year.   I’m very happy that my first year back I’ve been able to complete 10 months of strenuous training (mostly at altitude which is the first time ever for me). This was very important to accomplish because it’s very hard to go 0 to 60 in my event/sport (although I was trying to attempt it).   If I can keep healthy (which I will), then I’m setting myself up for a really good year in 2010 and think I will be suprising a lot of people.   I have a lot to look forward too.

I’m in the middle of my complete rest right now (two weeks of NO RUNNING), then I’ll start back a little and see where I’m at. I’m eyeing the NYC Road Mile at the end of September, but haven’t commited to it.   I needed to rest a little because of all the months of training. I could tell I needed it and I believe I was overtrained in June (a lot easier to do apparently in altitude).

I’ve went camping recently to just have some fun outside. Enjoy the pictures!

old miner's cabin

Camping near Mt. ShermanMt. Sherman 14,000 feet

My "mountain guide" going to the bathroom...Yes, I did!

Columbine Flower

1000+ year old trees (many of them burned from lightening)

 

Mt. Sherman 14,000 feet

old gold mine sitting on the hill