Photo Credit: Mark Grapengater via Compfight

When I interview people for BlogcastFM, I don’t use a script. I ditched it the day I started the show. It’s the lack of a script that has allowed me to develop my own style of interviewing people. I view the interview as somewhat of a verbal dance. As a result of no script, I’ve learned to be present, and draw information out of people in a way that I never could if I did too much planning.

For most of us the choices and decisions we make are based on following a script. We’re given that script early in our lives and told to follow it if we want to succeed. If you stray  from the script and decide to take the scenic route, be prepared for the backlash.  The problem is that the script is a one sized fits all solution, which doesn’t work since we’re all different.

If you got rid of the script there would be chaos. The people who have become used to following a script would have no idea what to do. Give them a blank slate and they’ll be confused as hell.  No directions, no instructions and no idea what to do next.  There’s good news and there’s bad news depending on how you look at it.

The bad news is that the script is starting to become useless. It worked for a long time, but  we have to be careful about preparing for a future that doesn’t exist.  Eventually the script won’t work at all and the forever recession is a perfect indicator of that. The good news is that you have a future that is open for invention.  It’s going to be hard work and the hardest part will be coming to terms with the fact that it won’t be linear and it will cause you to confront what might be a fear of non-conformity.

Writing an Unwritten Story

The beauty of life is that it is unpredictable, uncertain and we simply never know how it’s all going to turn out.  Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to have goals and plans to achieve those goals. But where were run into trouble is when we’re rigid about our plans.  When we become so laser focused that we can’t see what’s on the periphery, we might miss an opportunity to be extraordinary.

We all have an opportunity to write an unwritten story and our circumstances today will not determine what’s possible tomorrow. Every day what you’re looking at is a blank piece of paper that you call today and everyday you make a choice. You can market that piece of paper up with fear, negativity and self doubt or you can start writing the kind of story that lights up the world around you every single day.

Stop Driving Through Life with The Emergency Break On

I have a tendency to throw caution to the wind. Sometimes it gets me in trouble and I end up in a high speed car chase in Tijuana.  But when it works, it’s glorious.  Every single chance you take expands what’s possible in your life. I see people all around me who appear to be living life with their foot on the emergency break. They’re hesitating, imaging the worst case scenarios, and contributing to the construction of a prison made up of their fears. They might be alive, but they sure as hell aren’t living.

Take your foot off the break. Step on the gas pedal. Haul ass. 

The Limitless Possibilities Of Living Your Life Without  A Script

When you first ditch the script, you’ll probably be nervous. You won’t know what to do because for the first time you’ll have to write your own instructions, create your own map, and pave your own path. But once your nerves calm and you take a closer look you’ll see that life without a script will open up a world of infinite possibilities. You’ll be overcome by this sense that anything is possible and you’ll be right.

So tear up your textbooks, erase the rules on the chalkboard, and let go of all those ideas that you feel have held you back. There’s a better way, and that way is to ditch the script, and write your own.

Today, we have a substitute teacher here on the Skool of Life.  He also happens to be one of our regular students who you have probably seen in the comments.  So class…without further adue here’s my friend Ralph Dopping

It starts here……

Where do you look to find the answer to that question?

Imaging the feeling you get if you were standing at the edge of a cliff hundreds of feet above a churning ocean. The wind is pushing at your back. Just you. Alone. The sun, the wind and the sea. Does your heart rate increase just thinking about it? Do you start to sweat? What is that? Fear. And in a situation like this fear is a reasonable sensation primarily there to protect you. We all have a natural inclination to protect our own well being. Hey, you may have totally conquered that particular fear but there are certainly other things in your life that encapsulate this sensation.

We all have fears but there is one that many of us have that truly limits our ability to learn and experience life to its fullest.

Fear of stepping outside of our comfort zone.

We all have friends, we all have colleagues and we are all in situations where personal interaction is natural but let me ask you, what stops you from talking to a stranger? Or asking someone for help when you can’t find the answers? Or trying something that you never have done before? Why do we clench up, get nervous and let the apprehension of failure control us so much that we can’t bring ourselves to reach out for help? What triggers us to hesitate? We really need to look inside ourselves to find those emotional triggers; triggers that drive fear like pride and ego.

What stops you?

When something goes wrong are you so afraid that all you can think of is saving face? What will they think? What will people say? What we really need to understand about this is that we are all truly obscure. Obscure in such a manner that no one knows who we really truly are and unless we share our experiences we will forever remain this way. Really think about that. Ask yourself, what’s the one thing that will happen when we don’t risk an encounter? Nothing.

We remain unknown and our fears remain with us.

I have a personal story about an epic failure (well epic may be a bit dramatic) that I went through with my previous employer where I let my pride and ego control me and exacerbate my fear of failure. I literally stopped myself from asking for help, of recognizing a systemic issue and of not having the ability to know when to quit all because I was afraid to risk the encounters necessary to help resolve the problems. It was very much a case of victim mentality.

In my head, I truly believed that my ability and my position were fixed; inflexible. As I saw the problems escalating I turned away from the issues blaming what I thought to be my inability and my limited experience to find solutions to the problems at hand. Instead of learning from the mistakes and building on the experiences I hid behind a flawed process and criticised the lack of effort of my team to help me deliver viable solutions.

I toughed it out that way, feeling alone and abandoned, and eventually finished the contract. All three painful years of it. Yes, three years my friends. It took me leaving the firm, starting fresh and stepping away from that environment to learn from the experience. Sometimes that’s what you have to do. I emerged knowing a lot more about myself than I ever did before. As I embarked on my next venture I have used the things I experienced during that time to build on a team that is open and inclusionary. We share our experiences, knowledge and failures regularly building on the trust we have for our colleagues. It starts at the top. It starts with me. Sure there are challenges but for us the successes outweigh the challenges by far.

But how did I get there?

I had always wanted to talk to the VP of Real Estate Operations responsible for the account; from day one labelled as my nemesis. We are both members of a local networking group and I have seen him there on occasion. I had at that time never had the guts to go talk to the guy. My perception of the failure of that account, the damaged reputation of the firm and my personal reputation being tarnished limited me to discussing my thoughts with anyone let alone my perceived nemesis. I was paralysed by my limitations.

So, what changed?

I confronted my fixed mindset. I didn’t know I was doing that at the time. I have realized, slowly over time that sharing my experiences can bring clarity on how to resolve the issues that caused my failure. Confronting the issues head on and addressing them with an open mind was difficult. It was extremely uncomfortable at first but as you actually challenge that fear you realize that it’s not really that bad. Your obscurity leads you to think that you are really alone but there are actually a lot of other people that have had the same experiences as you. It‘s really amazing how many of them are willing to share theirs with you. You just have to ask. Once.

What happened to my nemesis?

Well, I was invited to another event recently and there he was so I decided to go for it this time. Why not? There I was with my new found open minded learning mindset just brimming with the opportunity to address my fear head on and see if I could learn something more. After all, it has been working well for some time now and my confidence continues to build as my desire for learning grows. Was I nervous? Damn straight. My heart was pounding as I found myself standing at the edge of my personal cliff; sun, wind and ocean churning below. I took a deep breath, worked up the guts to step off the edge, introduced myself and shook his hand.
It turned out that he didn’t even know who the heck I was! Not a clue.

Ralph Dopping has a long track record of building professional teams in the Architecture & Design community contributing his success to his ability to elevate and empower teams to achieve their goals autonomously. His quirky, dry sense of humour allows him to maintain a strong results oriented focus which relies on fun, passion and hard work. He blogs continuously at http://theviewfromhere.ca

 A few days ago I was a working on the careers section of my book.  In the early days of the Skool of Life, I wrote a post about self actualization and maslow’s hierarchy of needs. So I pulled it up and started looking at the pyramid and I was overcome by a somewhat disturbing but thought provoking realization. The way we prepare people to go out into the world is designed to keep them on the lower part of the pyramid.

As I’ve said before, I come from a culture of expectations.  Indian parents value safety, security, and survival.  If you started yapping on about self actualization and passions that light your eyes up, they’d tell you to go to your room and do some math problems. I’m kidding, but you get the point. But I don’t think this idea of prioritizing safety, security and survival is isolated to Indian parents. It’s deeply ingrained in our society. In fact here’s a recent quote from an article in the wall street journal:

 ”Your parents don’t want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn’t always the same thing. There is a natural instinct to protect our children from risk and discomfort, and therefore to urge safe choices. Theodore Roosevelt—soldier, explorer, president—once remarked, “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.” Great quote, but I am willing to bet that Teddy’s mother wanted him to be a doctor or a lawyer.”

We’ve done a fantastic job perpetuating the starving artist myth. It starts at a very early age.

I know some of you who read my blog are school teachers. So I have a couple questions for you?  How many educational institutions are focusing on meeting this need for self actualization?  Maybe Ken Robinson was right when he said schools kill creativity. The success of a career office at a university is based on placement statistics. If we place 100% of students in jobs they hate with a passion can we really consider that a success?

When you take a look at they pyramid you see that we have neglected to make our deepest human need for self actualization the highest priority.  As a result, we’re on the verge of people becoming dangerously unhappy in the work place. But you don’t need to quit your job to change the world.  Maslow describes self actualization as follows:

 ”the desire for self-fulfillment, namely the tendency for him [the individual] to become actualized in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming

So instead of getting caught up in  the ego driven pursuit of a life that looks good on paper, start evaluating opportunities based on whether they meet your needs for self actualization.   Happier people at work will result in happier people outside of work, and the world will be a better place for it.

On April 20, 2009 I registered the domain, TheSkooloflife.com. Today my blog is 4 years old. The journey has been a perpetual roller coaster ride and opened up opportunities beyond anything I ever expected. It’s been 1000 days of blogging and the journey seems like it’s just starting.

One of the questions that my friend Roger Law asked me was “what mistakes  have  you made? What would you have done differently?” Although I’ve made enough  mistakes to write a book about it, I’ve also learned some valuable lessons along the way. So in no particular order, here they are: Lessons learned from 1000 days of blogging.

Have Fun

I think back to a quote I heard in the movie Step into Liquid when professional surfer Keala Kennelly said “the best surfer in the world is the one having the most fun.”  In the midst of trying to grow, increase traffic, and keep up with all the rockstars, many of us lose sight of this. If you’re having fun, then working on your blog will never seem like a chore. It becomes something you get to do instead of something you have to do.

Live a Life Worth Writing About

I have to give Colin Wright credit for this, since he really does live a life worth writing about. But you don’t have to sell everything you own and travel the world to live a life worth writing about. All you need is a passion that lights your eyes up. I’m not sure that my writing would have evolved the way it has if it hadn’t been for surfing. Find the fuel for your creative fire and you’ll never be at a loss for words.

Be Vulnerable

I’m as far from perfect as one might get, and thank God for that.  The pursuit of perfection is a rather exhausting fools errand that leads most to misery. Vulnerability makes it easier for people to relate to you and connect with you. Don’t be afraid to showcase your imperfections in your writing.

Make a Long Term Commitment

There are many people who started their blogs when I did. Some of them have disappeared. But the ones who have stayed the course have achieved remarkable things.  I’ve seen people get book deals, launch speaking careers, and launch companies because they had the courage to stay the course.

Ask for Help

I’ve probably said this close to 100 times on BlogcastFM. Every single person I’ve interviewed who has been successful has had a mentor or coach of some sort. Maybe you want to escape from cubicle nation, have somebody light your fire, or get your creative juices flowing. Asking for help will save you years of trial and error. Don’t be like most males who drive around unwilling to ask for directions.

Have a Plan

If you don’t know where you’re going, how are you ever going to get there? If you want to write a book then find the people who have done it. If you want to launch a speaking career talk to those who already have. Figure out what you need to do and start doing it.

Deviate From Your Plan

When I started The Skool of Life, the only goal I had was to use the blog to get me a job. I had no plans to launch BlogcastFM, but my willingness to deviate from the plan opened up a world of opportunities.  Be flexible.

Focus on What Matters

It’s easy to get caught up in measurements, metrics and the success of other people. Social media can become a giant time suck and hurt  more than it helps.  Do the things that move the needle forward. That could mean creating content for products, writing guests post to grow traffic, or attending conferences and events to connect with people.

Don’t Neglect Your Email List

This is hands down the biggest mistake I’ve made in the time I’ve been blogging. Chris Guillebeau said something in the 100 Dollar Startup that really struck me. The only metric he measures on a daily basis is the number of subscribers to his email list. My friend Dan Andrews was spot on about the silent majority.  The real members of your tribe, the true fans are the ones that read your newsletter. Treat them accordingly.

Create Things That Have Lasting Value

When I look back at BlogcastFM, I can happily say that I’ve created something that has lasting value. I’m always amazed by what I find in my own archives that I can still utilize today.  Something you wrote a year ago could have a profound impact on somebody today.

Surround Yourself with Awesome People

When people ask me what I do, I can tell them “I talk to extraordinary people who are doing extraordinary things.”  I’ve been really fortunate to pick the brains of some of the smartest, most interesting and successful people I’ve ever known.  I’ve also been fortunate to make some of the most amazing friends I ever have.

Don’t Compare Yourself With Others Too Much

There are bloggers who started after I did, who by many measures are more successful than I am.  But comparing myself really doesn’t help me accomplish anything worthwhile.

Show up Early and Show Up Often

I have to give credit to Tim Conolly for this bit of wisdom that applies to life just as much as it does to blogging.  When you show up early you set yourself apart. When you show up early and often you’ll become a household name.

Design Matters

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across blogs by people with amazing credentials that make me want to gouge my eyes out.  In the online world people do a judge a book by its cover.  You wouldn’t show up at the oscars in jeans and a t-shirt. The same applies online.

Get Away From Your Computer

After spending the last three days away from the computer, I’ve realized how much a digital sabbatical enhances your creativity. Incorporate it into your life on a daily basis and you’ll be amazed how much your productivity will improve.

Buy a Moleskine

For the longest time I thought spending 20 bucks on a notebook was ridiculous.  But when you put that kind of money into it, you take writing in it a bit more seriously.  As much as I love all the technology at our disposal, I think it limits the imagination. It puts us in a creative prison made up of the things we already know.

When you’re unplugged, and have nothing but pen and paper, the imagination can run riot. You can create things that don’t already exist. I’m convinced that’s why Sarah Peck is such an amazing writer. It doesn’t hurt that she has handwriting nice enough to write greeting cards (p.s. send me a commission check if you ever start that business).

Trash Things that You’ve Made Lots of Progress With

Sounds completely insane right? If you don’t know anything about Pixar you might not know this story. Jon Lasseter apparently scrapped Toy Story 2 after close to 2 years of working on it and they started from scratch.  The results speak for themselves.  Even when I wrote this post, I read through it and though, “this is crap.” The words flowed so much better with a blank slate and as you know by now you can’t paint a masterpiece on a cluttered canvas.

Keep Making New Friends

The other day my friend Jon said to me ” you probably have the most interesting listing of amazing people you’ve talked to out of every one I know.” Even though I’ve become really stringent about the guests on BlogcastFM, I still make it a point to continually befriend new bloggers. In fact some of those friends that were baby bloggers when I met them became guests on BlogcastFM.  Besides that, they bring a fresh perspective to things.

Things I’ve accomplished in 1000 days of Blogging

Since I just interviewed Danielle Laporte, I thought it was worth sharing something she calls “Gloryboarding” aka things you’ve accomplished or are proud of. So here are mine:

• Secured Livfeyre as a sponsor for BlogcastFM
• Interviewed over 200 people including best selling authors, successful entrepreneurs, and other people who are kicking ass and taking names.
• Grew BlogcastFM to over 70,000 downloads  month and a 5-star rating in itunes
• Took the Skool of Life to over 50,000 Monthly Page Views and over 4000 Subscribers
• Became a contributor at Mark Schaefer’s blog GROW
• Spoke at both Blogworld Expos in 2011 and at Eye for Travel 2011

There are probably several other less significant things, but those are  my “hell yeah, I did that” accomplishments.

So after 1000 days here’s what I can tell you. It’s been a bit like riding a wave. You continually adjust to what the wave is doing, so you don’t wipe out and eat shit.  And when you inevitably do eat it, shake it off, and paddle back out to the line up. As I’ve said before, if you’re not in the water you’re not going to catch any waves. 

Photo Credit: bolandrotor via Compfight

By the standards, of conventional wisdom the things that I want most out of life make no sense. But conventional wisdom yields conventional results and I just can’t accept that. It’s not how I ever want to live even if it would satisfy other people’s expectations. Whoever said your dreams and goals had to be practical was full of  shit.  It’s time start marching to the beat of your own drum. Bang it so loud that people think there’s a parade going on.

We start the pursuit of our crazy dreams with our eyes lit up and our hair on fire, ready to scale the biggest walls, climb the biggest mountains and ride the biggest waves.  Then some well intentioned jackass tells us to be realistic, pragmatic, and practical. Before long we’re chasing mediocrity and in a race to the bottom. I’m sorry, but good enough is not an acceptable standard.

We live in a culture of expectations, constant comparison and competition. The result is  a growing rat race of people losing sight of the difference between settling and settling down.  People run through the world feeling like they’ve got something to prove, get caught up in the ego driven pursuit of a life that looks good on paper and find themselves in therapy trying to recover from the mess.  I won’t be turning that assignment in even for an A on my report card and a magnet on the refrigerator.

Nothing to Prove and Nothing to Lose

The other day my friend Amy emailed me about a video project she’s working on with me and said she was scrambling last minute to put the next episode of our show together. After she finished she emailed me and said “not bad huh? considering I was scrambling.” No, it was AWESOME.

That’s what happens when you start to approach everything like you’ve got nothing to prove. It’s fucking liberating. Try it sometimes. Want to ditch class at the skool?  Go for it. No detention.. although we might throw a party in your absence with some good vodka.

If your life is a mess I’ve got some good news. There’s tremendous power in hitting rock bottom.  I know because it’s happened to me twice in the last few years. It’s also what put me on the non-linear path to success. When you start to play the game of life as if you’ve got nothing to lose, you will be working with a  blank slate. That’s great since you can’t paint a masterpiece on a cluttered canvas.

You don’t need a Reason to do Something Worth Talking About

The question of why we’re doing anything we’re going to do seems to come up over and over again.  Why do you want to paint something? Why do you want to learn to take photographs?  Why do you want to surf the world?

• Michael Hodson traveled across 6 continents and 44 countries without ever setting foot on on airplane
• Benny Lewis travels the world becoming fluent in the local language in 3 months.
• Nate Damn Walked Across America
• Drew Brophy Rides HUGE Waves….like 60 footers.
• Steve Kamb Exercised All Over the World….24 hour Fitness blows

Ask any of these people why and it’s likely they’ll reply “why not?”

The lack of answers to this question of why keeps so many people from moving forward on the things they are genuinely interested in. The truth is you really don’t need a reason.  I want to you to consider that people who accomplish something remarkable are never called reasonable. 

How unreasonable are you willing to be?

The dictionary defines being reasonable as “not being extreme or excessive.”  Screw that…nothing inspiring about that.  As my friend Ash so brilliantly pointed out moderation is for losers.

The idea that you should be unreasonable might seem counterintuitive considering we’ve been taught our whole lives that being reasonable is actually a good thing. But when it comes to dreams and passions it’s simply not. When it comes to these kinds of things, be unreasonable.

People will continually challenge your pursuit of the things that make no sense and try to crush your dreams. Often it’s a byproduct of their own fear of not pursuing their own dreams. Don’t get caught up in living your life through the lens of other people’s expectations. When it’s all said and done, you’re the one going to the grave with these memories, not them.  It’s safe to say almost everybody regrets more the things they didn’t do than the things they did.  So stop apologizing for your crazy wild eyed dreams.  

Photo Credit: Allan England via Compfight

“Waves are like toys from God. When I’m in the water I’m just playing.” – Clay Marzo, Professional Surfer

The ocean is  like a canvas. Each wave  a color, and every turn, and every moment like the stroke of a paintbrush enabling me to paint this masterpiece  called life.  I can’t really tell you who I was before it because I can’t remember. When I look back at my life before the pursuit of waves, it’s a haze of meaningless conversations with strangers in bars, and weekends that only served to escape the torture of the week before.

Who are we without a passion that lights our eyes up?  To me nothing but a cluttered canvas, a picture out of focus, that makes us question the purpose of it all. I’m not the person I thought I’d be, but then again who really is?

As you paddle, drop into a wave and pop up on your board, you’re overcome by this sense of bliss that makes you feel alive in away that makes you wonder if you’ve been going through life asleep at the wheel this whole time. And in that moment you experience the power of a thoughtless mind, and you can’t help but smile because nothing else matters and you’re in the zone.

I found myself there after my most recent surf session and realized that you don’t have to surf to find yourself in the zone. All you have to do is recognize the signs in your life  and follow them.

1. Time Loses its Significance

Time has a funny way of losing its significance when you’re in the zone. Hours seem like minutes, and minutes like seconds.  As they say time flies when you’re having fun. This is why I never wear a watch in the water. I don’t give a damn what time it is and I don’t want to know.

2. The Mind is Quiet

As you know by now you can’t always trust the voice in your head, since it never seems to shut up. But when you’re in the zone it’s powerless and imprisoned by your bliss. You catch a wave, paddle back out to the line up and the only thing on your mind is the next one.

3. Everything Feels Effortless

When you’re in the zone everything seems effortless. You don’t  just know that the more waves you go for the more you’ll catch, you embody it in everything you do. There’s no hesitation to take a leap of faith and you continually land on your feet or in my case  on a wave.

4. The World Around You Disappears

Like the aperture setting on a camera, the background seems to fade when you’re in the zone.   When you’re in the water the shore seems like a distant memory with little to no significance.  There’s truly no place else you’d rather be.

5. You’ve Got Nothing Left to Prove

I have a habit of counting the number of waves I catch in a session. But the best sessions are the ones where I lose count. When you’re in the zone you stop keeping score, and play the game as if you’ve got nothing to lose. I surf for my love of waves and write for my love of words.  The rest is insignificant because I’ve got nothing left to prove.

So now you have to ask yourself, when  have you been in the zone? What  is it that makes you feel alive? Why aren’t you doing that as often as possible? 

Today I’m happy to introduce to you to a substitute teacher here at The Skool of Life. Julie had asked me for some advice about putting some attention on the internship she was applying to, so I invited her to share her wisdom with the class. Be sure to stop by her page and vote for her to be selected as a summer intern at About.ME.  And  now… Julie.. 

Ah, college! For many people, this means a place of late-night cram sessions, congested parking lots, time away from home, and pushing the snooze button one too many times. But aside from gaining the “Freshman 15,” I had gained valuable lessons (and still gaining!) outside of the classrooms that I’d like to share with everyone. I consider these lessons as my “takeaways” and they include personal experiences or shared stories from my peers. And although this blog is geared towards college students, I believe it can modified to apply to your lifestyle because we are all students of life.

1. Take all the student discounts you can

**With the crazy increases in intuition costs, students are constantly having to worry about their funds and whether or not they can afford even eating lunch that day! Thankfully, there are plenty of supportive institutions that offer a financial break to the hungry folks. For example, just last month I visited the Peterson Museum in LA with a couple of friends. Being a student, I was able to get the admissions for half the price. And what you do you think I did with the $5 that I saved? I treated my friends out to tasty ice cream sandwiches after and it was a great Saturday.

2. Take advantage of your resources

• Being in college really does have its perks and benefits aside from the knowledge gained in lectures. My gym membership contract with 24 Hour Fitness ended last month and I currently am in no position to renew it. (See Take Away #1) My campus, however, has an amazing student Recreation and Wellness center stocked with new equipment, an indoor track, swimming pool, etc. So, I keep my gym clothes handy in my car for the occasion that I have down time in between classes.
• Need time to study or get research information? Hit up the library because it’s chock full of useful material that most students don’t bother to explore. In this Information Age of “Googling”, a small percentage of students actually walk through the book aisles anymore. However, some old library books may contain out-dated information and you have to be cautious! Even if that’s the case, you’ve gained insight about the thoughts and reasoning from the past and can use that methodology when dealing with other problems for the future. It is said history tends to repeat itself, right? Well, now you’ve got a different perspective and a little bit of wisdom up your sleeve
• Towards the beginning of my college, I really wanted to move out of my parents’ home and be “independent.” After many months of self-reflection, I had realized my attitude was ungrateful. I am so fortunate to even have the opportunity to live at home while many other students do not. Free rent, delicious home cooked Vietnamese meals, and family time? It’s a dream!
• Visit the Student Health Center on campus, inexpensive medical service & pharmacy prices that non-students wish they could have!

3. Take class time seriously

I can proudly claim that I rarely ever fall asleep during class time, no matter how tired I am. Even after pulling 2 all-nighters, I’ll make a conscientious effort to keep my eyes open and follow along. I’m paying my professors to lecture, why should I let the information go to waste if I skip class or nod off? With that question in mind, I have come up with solutions to counteract the intense sleepiness. Two methods that never fail: 1.) Positioning myself on the edge of my seat. 2.) Challenging myself by taking notes with my off-hand. #2 may sound somewhat silly, but I get so worked up with trying to writing legibly that I’m naturally motivated to stay awake. Throughout the years, I have grown to be about 75% ambidextrous and my penmanship has ridiculously improved. I must admit, it’s a pretty cool skill to have!

4. Take advice from your instructors

There may be are some professors you may wish to never see again, but then there are others that provide great guidance as possible mentors. Seek them c soak up the wise information they have to offer. They were once students just like you and can offer advice to save you time and energy. I am happy to have enrolled in some amazing courses and visited my instructors during their office hours. Build a relationship with your instructors because it may open up doors to new opportunities. You might end up getting a wedding invitation and taking part in designing their altar like I did!

5. Take every opportunity to network

Along with the previous takeaway, make connections with your peers. Talk during the class breaks, be friendly, and build bridges, and be a “yes” person when it comes to social outings. You never know where it may take you and what opportunities may arise. You know that Political Science course you were reluctant to go to every morning? That person sitting next to you might be your potential business partner or even the one that saves your life later on.

6. Take control of your appetite

Like many majors, the projects and assignments I’m involved with really takes a toll on my stress levels. During the nasty deadlines and the all-nighters, the first thing I want to do is take a Kit-Kat break, raid a doughnut store, or [insert another bad diet choice here], I have to constantly remind myself that each bite of unhealthy, convenient food has a direct effect on my health. Control what you eat, don’t let it control you.

7. Take care of your health

Your health is your greatest wealth. Without it, you wouldn’t have the energy to invest in other activities. I’ve come to learn that when you take care of yourself, most things will naturally take care of themselves. This rule also applies to your mental and spiritual health as well. When project deadlines and exams are approaching, time may seem almost non-existent. For some, fitness activity might not be on top of their to-do list. When facing that predicament, I try to hit two birds with one stone by propping up my study notes on the elliptical machine or treadmill and work up a sweat. Go in for check-ups if irregular symptoms show up or if you have the slightest concern about anything. Better safe than sorry!

8. Take a walk; take a breather

In times of cloudy, frustrating moments, it’s easy to get caught up and lose your train of thought. One way that may ease your stress levels is getting away from it all momentarily. Take out your iPod, pull up your favorite music playlist, and get oxygen flowing back while being a different environment. Once you feel ready, return to the problem with a refreshed mindset. It’ll make all the difference in the world, especially if you’ve been struck by inspiration by something you’ve seen during your walk.

9. Take a trip

Go out, TRAVEL and see the world! I highly recommend venturing a different country by enrolling in a study abroad program, even if it’s just for the summer. At the age of 20, I had never before flown on an airplane. Two years into college, I saw a flier in the Design department that advertised the opportunity to travel to Italy for the summer session. How did I respond? I immediately took out student loans in order to make it happen. After 5 beautiful weeks in Europe (Italy, Paris, Greece and Turkey!), I had taken a total of 8 flights that summer. How’s that for my first traveling experience?

10. Take a chance

Wander off the beaten path, get lost, go exploring, and take a leap of faith! College is the time to make all the mistakes before you enter the “real world” where there are larger consequences. During class presentations, disregard the anxiety and fear of appearing incompetent in front of your peers or doing something wrong. There’s no such thing as perfection. Imagine college as a scholastic incubator: a nurturing (sometimes nerve-wrecking!) environment to develop into a capable and educated individual. Also, this includes taking a chance on allowing people into your heart. Sharing quality time on Earth with others makes life worth living.

11. Take initiative

Every move you make has consequences. If you choose not to move and wait for things to come to you, life’s opportunities may fly right over your head. Enter competitions and apply for scholarships– even if you feel as if you’re not “good enough.” Regardless of the outcome, you’ll gain experience and skills just by trying! A personal example I’d like to include is my participation in the Internship Challenge hosted by AOL in New York. To win, I have to share my profile page with everyone I know to obtain the highest number of votes. I’m up against other ambitious college students and there’s a chance I might lose, but also the chance of winning. Nevertheless, I’m still trying my best and getting my voice out there. With persistence, every bit of effort adds up if you just do it. (**Help me win by voting! www.about.me/ohjulieho)

12. Take the negative people out of your life

Throughout life, you will cross paths with many different types of people, some of whom will change your life for better or for worse. Absorb the healthy habits from those you admire, and dismiss those who repeatedly drag you down. Life’s too short to be caught up in a bad storm of negativity. Use your best judgment to weed out those with bad intentions and surround yourself with genuine and motivating individuals. It’s amazing how much your attitude will improve over time. In addition, try your best to rid from destructive thoughts. If you fall short in achieving a goal, forgive yourself and try again. One of my favorite quotes from “The Alchemist” by Paul Coelho reads: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Always, always, ALWAYS keep hope alive in your heart.

13. Take note of your development

During this time in your life, you may feel like you know all the solutions of how the world works. Truth is, life is just barely unraveling. During my sophomore year in college, one of my dearest friends suffered an unexpected stroke and passed away. Just in an instant, he was gone at the young age of 22. Life is so fragile and utterly short. It was a difficult time for all the lives that he has touched. One method I used to cope was keeping a personal journal. I desperately wished he was still around to talk to, but all I could do was write, write, and write. After many months of doing so, it eventually became a habit to record my thoughts and plays a huge role during personal reflections.

14. Take a lot of photos

Pictures are worth more than a thousand words. Capture the beautiful, fun moments with friends and awesome trips you’ve been on, print them out, and keep them in physical albums or scrapbooks. These will be reminders of the unforgettable memories you’ve created for yourself that you can share with the rest of the world.

15. Lastly, take your time

Remember that life isn’t a race, and your college experience isn’t an exception. The things you’ve accomplished, mistakes you’ve made, friends you’ve attained, and the life lessons you’ve learned are part of the great college experience. With four years already under my belt, I look forward to my last two years before the big graduation day in 2014. Yep, that’s 6 years total for my undergrad degree, but I’m absolutely okay with it because I’m enjoying takeaways #1-14.

About the author: Julie Ho is currently working on her Bachelor’s of Science degree in Industrial Design at California State University, Long Beach. Find out more about her: www.about.me/ohjulieho

Photo Credit: *Lie via Compfight

Have you ever noticed how real your dreams can seem? You experience the same sensations and same emotions. Sometimes you wake up in a cold sweat relieved that it was all just a dream.  Other times you wake up disappointed that it was just a dream.

The way we dream is an interesting glimpse into a world of infinite possibility. Inside a dream all of ourself imposed limitations seem to disappear. All the labels that destroy our potential lose their meaning. It’s a place of complete freedom, especially when you realize you are in fact dreaming (also known as a lucid dream). If there’s anything a dream teaches us, it’s to look beyond what we think is possible.

There’s a significant gap between what we thing we’re capable of and what we’re actually capable of. It’s something I referred to as the peak performance gap. But in order to reach it you have to find the courage to take off. If in all athletic ineptitude I learned how to surf, I’m convinced that we are capable of learning almost anything. You can even give yourself an education that kicks the crap out of the one you got in school.

Everything that you are comfortable and familiar with today was once uncharted territory. There was a time when you did not know how to walk, talk, write or drive. But today you do all those things effortlessly.  But when it comes to the more difficult things we’re quick to give up on putting in the thousands of hours that went into the things we do effortlessly.  Start dreaming beyond what you think is possible and you’ll set a whole new standard.

How to Live Without Regrets

If there is one question you left unanswered that would ultimately lead to regret, it’s “‘what if?” Yet so many of us leave that question unanswered and by the time we do find the courage to ask, it’s sometimes too late. Fear of losing the things they don’t even have keeps so many people from taking the chances that open up a world of possibilities.

• We don’t apply to jobs that we don’t even have out of fear of getting rejected.
• We don’t say hello to strangers of the opposite sex that we find attractive out of fear of being rejected.
• We don’t express our true feelings out of fear of disapproval.
• We don’t share our most brilliant ideas with the world out of fear of criticism.

When you step outside yourself and take a look at this behavior, you realize that it’s completely irrational.  We ask ourselves questions like “What do I have to lose?” which the brain conveniently will generate a laundry list of answers for. Then we trust that voice in our head which has constructed  a scenario that has absolutely no basis in reality. The question we should be asking ourselves is “what do I have to gain?” The brain will do it’s job and generated a laundry list of answers to this question, which also has no basis in reality.

If you are choosing between two scenarios that have no basis in reality, why not choose the one that has the potential for a favorable outcome?

When you are not the person you thought you’d be keep the following things in mind:

1. A wise person once told me that where you’ve been should be a paragraph, and where you’re going should be a book. So just remember that where you’re going is far more important than where you’ve been.
2. Don’t stop dreaming. It’s in the world of dreams that the impossible becomes possible, imagination runs riot and great ideas are born.
3. Believe in the love you hear about in music lyrics and see in movie scenes. If it wasn’t real the musicians wouldn’t sing about it, the writers wouldn’t write about it, and the movie makers wouldn’t make movies about it.
4. Fall in love even though I haven’t yet. I’m told there’s nothing like it.
5. Don’t worry too much about the empty mailboxes, traffic jams, unreturned phone calls, broken hearts and piles of debt. If surfing has taught me anything it’s that the conditions always improve.
6. Learn how to do something new every year. Last year I learned how to surf. This year I learned how to snowboard. If you kept learning something every year until you were old, you’d never be bored with your life.
7. Stop waiting for permission to be extraordinary.  By waiting for permission you’re denying the the world the gift of your brilliance. The fear of losing the things they don’t even have keeps so many people from taking the chances that open up a world of possibilities.
8. When things are really bad, remember that waves come in sets.  Usually it’s going to be better than it’s ever been before when  it’s really bad.
9. There are no answers in darkness. There have been days when I wondered if it would be better if I didn’t wake up up tomorrow. In those moments of hopeless, despair, and great fear, remember that you can’t always trust the voice in your head. 
10. Try an extreme sport at least once in your life. Everybody should feel the thrill of a nerve rush.
11. Ride a wave or a 1000. There’s nothing quite like it. But explaining it to you is like trying to describe an orgasm to somebody who has never had one, even though I’ve tried with many  of my words.
12. On that note, find a passion that lights your eyes up, something that you can’t imagine your life without, something that defines you.
13. Don’t settle. People will try to convince you to live life according to a timeline. By 25 you should do this, by 30 you should do that, etc, etc.
    The logic becomes a bit ridiculous when you realize that we could end it by saying “by 90 you should really in the cemetery.”
14. Put your best foot forward with everything you do because good enough is not an acceptable standard.
15. Life is not a race.  The only thing waiting for you at the finish line is death, so don’t be in such a damn hurry.
16. Look for a dare to be great situation.  They’re all around us.
17. All it takes is one good wave.  After all the false starts, brick walls, failures, and setbacks, the only thing people are going to remember is your moment in the sun.  You’re only crazy until everything you’re doing starts to work, but most people don’t have the courage to stay the course.
18. Don’t trade temporary approval for a lifetime of mediocrity.  Make a short time sacrifice for a long term gain and you’ll live without regret.
19. Eliminate toxic people from your life since you become the byproduct of the ones you surround yourself with.
20. Forgive the people who have hurt you. It’s probably weighing you down more than it is them.
21. If you have siblings admire them for their greatness. My sister is charismatic and likable in a way that I’ve never been. I’m more of an acquired taste.
22. Don’t ever forget about the people in your corner. Maria Brophy is a friend that has single-handedly had more of a profound impact on my journey through the blogosphere than anybody.
23. Don’t give up on things just because they’re hard. Those are usually the things most worth accomplishing.
24. Share your crazy wild eyed dreams only with the people who inspire you to chase them. Avoid talking about them with those who infuse doubt, disbelief or encourage you to chase ordinary.
25. Remember that conventional wisdom will produce conventional results.
26. When you wipe out, shake it off, and paddle back out to the lineup. If you’re not in the water, you’re not going to catch any waves.
27. Build something with your own two hands. Find your castle in the sky. It will be one of the most rewarding things you ever do.
28. Believe that you will have a moment that makes them stand back and say “wow.”
29. Take advice with a grain of salt or shot of tequila. Even mine.
30. If you find an Indian person surfing, call the humane society and let them know you have found an endangered species. If she’s attractive and female give her my phone number.
31. Stand on the edge of your comfort zone early and often. It’s how progress occurs.
32. When you  feel like the situation is hopeless, take one more step forward, give it one more day and remember that your circumstances today don’t determine what’s possible tomorrow.
33. Even if you die the richest man in the cemetery, remember that nobody leaves this world with a thing in their pockets.
34. When you get derailed on your journey, don’t be afraid to take the scenic route.

Today at the age of 34, I’m certainly not the person I thought I would be. But when I compare the person I thought  I would be with the person I could be, I see far greater to potential to be extraordinary in the latter. So, I’ll finish with a quote I heard from George Elliott “It’s never too late to be you might have been.” 

For the last few weeks I’ve been in somewhat of a slump. Every single time I’ve been out surfing, I’ve spent hours in the water only to finish a session with ONE damn wave. Even though all it takes is one good one, it’s like a drug. Once you’ve had a taste of how good it is you want more. So, one wave in a 3-hour session just doesn’t cut it for me.

But I realized that something really odd had happened. I had stopped going for waves. I would paddle for the wave look down the face, pull my board back and say “no way, I’m going to eat shit if I take this wave.” You would think of all people I would know just how much our tolerance for risk impacts our potential.  For my last few sessions I was completely paralyzed by fear. You would think after the Nicaragua death wave, I would be easily able to take off on a 5 foot wave.

So like any good student of The Skool of Life I decided to seek out answers about how to conquer this fear.  One of my friends on Facebook had some encouraging advice. “Dude you’re just going to have to charge. Most of the time you’ll probably eat shit, but when you get the one good wave, it will be totally worth it.” Not exactly the wisdom I was hoping for.  I even found a blog post that Luc stokes at degree 33 surfboards wrote  about overcoming fear and perfecting your surfing (maybe they’ll read this and do a sponsored series on the Skool of Life).  With my new found wisdom, I returned to Trestles ready to shred some waves.

Lessons from the Impact Zone

On any wave there is a section known as the impact zone. It’s called that because it’s where the most significant account of force occurs when the wave breaks. In other words it’s the last place you want to be.  It’s where dreams are crushed, fears are realized, and you pray that you’ll resurface intact. The good news is that you almost always do.  But many life lessons are learned. You learn not to panic because that makes it harder to breathe. You learn to take a beating and get back up. So in many ways getting drilled in the impact zone is a profound metaphor for what happens when you start to push the limits of what’s possible in your life.

The Wipe Outs Are Never as Bad as You Think

I’m happy to say there were no cameras, videographers or anybody on the beach to witness my session. I really gave into my willingness to eat shit, and I wiped out on wave after wave. But, I did catch more than one.  The slump was finally over. Truth be told I’ve only had one injury from surfing, which led to emergency rooms, busted eardrums and withdrawals. Here’s some advice that will help you. Don’t try to take off on a wave and look cool just because you want to look cool for the hot girl in the water. That’s your ego at work. Regardless of no injuries wiping out has always made me nervous. You take a leap of faith and the net doesn’t appear.  Imagine walking down the street and having the sidewalk pulled out from underneath your feet.

I learned something valuable. The wipeouts are never as bad as you think. Sure they shake you up mentally. But you have to get over it and get your ass back out to the lineup. If you’re not in the water you’re not going to catch any waves.