Many people may desire to be leaders because that will make other people follow them or for whatever other reasons like that will boost the leader's pride, spirit and ego.

What about you? You might like to be known as a leader while at work, at home and at play unless you have George Bush as your boss, Britney Spears as your wife and a Doberman-Pit Bull cross breed as your playing companion.

Well, here are some leadership basics you must get a handle on:

1. Develop a vision and formulate a strategy around it.

2. Communicate your vision and strategy clearly: For example, "Guys, we're going out for beer tomorrow night, so no one eat or drink anything till then because tomorrow night, we're gonna have a food and drink fest!" may be an effective way of communicating your vision and strategy to certain interest groups. Remember, good, unambiguous and clear communication is one of the key psychological assets of a leader.

3. Create a coalition of people who agree with your thoughts. Words such as "Guys, we're going to have a beer and food party right now and I'm going to pick up the tab for everyone, so follow me all ye who want to!" may get you a great coalition of followers but something tells us they're going to stick with you till you stop picking up those tabs. A good leader always creates a coalition of people by the way he talks and influences, by the thought process behind his ideas and by the way he lays out his plans. Remember - never bribe anyone because you want him or her to join your coalition!

4. Now that you have a group rooting for you, establish a sense of urgency. Powerful dialogues such as: "Guys, as your well-architected, interactively-positive exclusive leader, I have to inform you that if we don't get out of this beer bar RIGHT now, the coppers will arrest us!" can always establish a sense of urgency. Survey the surroundings for competitive realities and potential crises before you go verbose.

5. Now, having identified the problems and obstacles that stand in the way of your goals, start removing them: "Guys, a swift karate chop on the coppers' Adam's apples will disable them from following us!" would be a great line to say to your coalition in the aforesaid scenario. This would remove all obstacles in your immediate goal of escaping from the beer bar too.

6. Having removed the obstacles, you are now ready to consolidate and promote/improve people from your coalition and delegate authority. "Klutz Kramer will now always compulsorily carry a knuckleduster each time we go to a beer bar because his karate chops are no good! Slimy Krontz is hereby promoted - he need not carry his Aussie Beer Can Mortar machine to any beer bar in the future!" Delegation of authority can create a feeling of pride and importance among the good performers in your coalition.

7. Reward people. A job well done deserves something more than mere applause.

8. Now introduce new themes or identify new problems and follow the same leadership strategies outline in 1-6 above and you will taste success as a leader!

Remember, in the end a leader is different from an authoritative figure such as a manager. A manager or any authoritative figure can do things right, while a leader always does the right things. So, go ahead, become a leader - just don't let it go to your head.

Some disappointment in life can be good for us because it allows us to grow and develop and practice thinking positively, going through disappointment and coming out the other side still wearing a smile makes us realize that no matter what life throws at us we can overcome it. Here are some tips to help you deal with and overcome disappointment when it rears its head.

* Realize that grief, stress, anxiety, fear, pain and suffering are just a natural part of life that we have to go through, it's how we deal with it and come out the other side that matters.

* If family members or loved ones are causing you disappointments remember that no one is invulnerable, you cannot always live up to your expectations or yourself so how can you expect others to be perfect.

* When faced with disappointment instead of looking at it as though it is a bad thing, welcome it and think of it as a test or challenge.

* When things go wrong analyze the situation, see what you can learn from it and then let it go.

* If you are constantly running into a brick wall when trying to reach long term goals, remember there cannot be failure unless you give up, so keep trying until you get there.

* If you run into a dead end turn around and go another way, by staying flexible you are able to obtain your goal any way you can.

* Don't except anything more from life than what you are willing to put in, if you don't expect anything more, you won't be disappointed.

* If you are having a particularly bad time overcoming disappointment it can help to talk about it, by talking about it and letting it out you realize that you are not alone when it comes to suffering disappointment.

* Patience can really be a blessing when it comes to dealing with disappointment, just simply let the feelings pass over you and disappear and get back on the right track.

* Don't be conned by foolish and unreasonable expectations about life, if you are constantly looking for perfection then you will be disappointed for sure.

Shy people are those who go to the grocery store and are reluctant to talk with the cashier. They blush before saying anything. When they speak they never talk loud enough, so they must say it again. And it seems to get worse every time. The more they try not to blush, the redder they become.

What about work? Shy people must work as well. But shy people don't get bored, because they are always trying to watch others and better themselves. It is widely accepted that timid people know things about human character, but they normally don't dare to get to know many people. Despite the fact that when they were teenagers these people usually had no social life, many of them became great human resources managers or psychologists precisely because, being outside the group, they learned to analyze others. They also tend to take careers that require a lot of PR work, because they want to prove that they can do it.

Another great thing about introverted people is that they are curious and, because they often have nobody to ask, they read books or do research on the Internet. How many good-looking, successful and extroverted people do you think still read? As a result, shy people have many opportunities to get good jobs in almost any field. They work hard, they stay quiet and they are loyal.

Furthermore, shy people have begun to enjoy such fame lately that the daring should learn from them. Did you know that shy people have more contact with the public than the rest of us? That happens because they instill serenity in others. They don't usually talk over another person's private issues.

They say very high hills were designed for shy women. They need to prove themselves at absolutely everything. These people are fighters, so if you are shy, don't be ashamed! People like you are motivated because you have a purpose you want to achieve. For everyone else, I would say there's nothing wrong with being shy from time to time.

The key word to success is dare. The rest of it will arrive after that.

Women should not "obey" men anymore than men should obey women. There are six requisites in every happy marriage; the first is Faith, and the remaining five are Confidence. Nothing so compliments a man as for a woman to believe in him nothing so pleases a woman as for a man to place confidence in her.

Obey? God help me! Yes, if I loved a woman, my whole heart's desire would be to obey her slightest wish. And how could I love her unless I had perfect confidence that she would only aspire to what was beautiful, true and right? And to enable her to realize this ideal, her wish would be to me a sacred command; and her attitude of mind toward me I know would be the same. And the only rivalry between us would be as to who could love the most; and the desire to obey would be the one controlling impulse of our lives.

We gain freedom by giving it, and he who bestows faith gets it back with interest. To bargain and stipulate in love is to lose.

Perfect faith implies perfect love; and perfect love casteth out fear. It is always the fear of imposition, and a lurking intent to rule, that causes the woman to haggle over a word it is absence of love, a limitation, an incapacity. The price of a perfect love is an absolute and complete surrender.

To give a man something for nothing tends to make the individual dissatisfied with himself.

Your enemies are the ones you have helped.

And when an individual is dissatisfied with himself he is dissatisfied with the whole world and with you.

A man's quarrel with the world is only a quarrel with himself. But so strong is this inclination to lay blame elsewhere and take credit to ourselves, that when we are unhappy we say it is the fault of this woman or that man. Especially do women attribute their misery to That Man.

And often the trouble is he has given her too much for nothing.

This truth is a reversible, back-action one, well lubricated by use, working both ways as the case may be.

That form of affection which drives sharp bargains and makes demands, gets a check on the bank in which there is no balance.

There is nothing so costly as something you get for nothing.

Simply by changing how you think and feel gives you the power to change your life to the one you want, where everything is possible and within reach. Too often people think that change is beyond their control and so feel totally powerless to do anything to change the situation, however simply by changing ourselves or our outlook on life we can begin to take charge of our lives and make the changes needed.

Decide what it is you want from life
The first step to changing is deciding what it is exactly that you wish to change in your life or yourself, do you wish to change you yourself or is there some aspect in your life that you wish to change? Write down exactly what it is that you wish to change, making a list of everything that you aren't happy with and what changes you wish to make. How we feel about ourselves has a lot to do with how we see life, if we are full of self-doubt and no confidence then this shows in how we present ourselves, too much self-doubt gets us down so the first step to taking your life back into your own hands is to change your outlook.

Taking the first steps
The first thing you should realize is that you and only you has the power to change and the secret to this is freeing your mind and body to start moving forward and making the changes needed. With a more positive attitude you will be able to change the way you feel and react and more importantly what you are able to achieve, you will be able to do this because you will have a different attitude towards life in general, others around you and how you are able to handle situations. Of course the changes will be small in the beginning but slowly you will begin to realize that changes are happening and it is you that is making this happen, you don't have to rely on anyone else. Along with the positive changes you will feel better, have more self-esteem, confidence, be more enthusiastic and be self-motivated.
Taking responsibility for your life and realizing that you alone hold the power to the changes that are happening around you will bring enormous self-satisfaction if you simply remember to always keep an open mind and remember that you have nothing to lose.

Tips to help you change

* Clear the clutter - start your new outlook by clearing out all the clutter that is unnecessary in your life, this can be anything from your old clothes in the back of the closet that you will never wear again or the pile of magazines or newspapers tucked in the corner. Throw it all away and start fresh and clean, getting rid of clutter is an excellent step towards changing your outlook and losing old baggage.

* Attend a self-help course - if you need a helping hand to get you started then there are many classes that give help and advice for taking the first steps to taking control over your life.

* Read books and watch DVD's - if going to a class is not for you then take advice from the many DVD's and books that are out there to gain inspiration and set you on the right path.

Learn to woo your crowds, before they boo you. This you may do successfully by getting to know the members of your audience. Find out about those that have come to hear you. You may have to do a little bit of research to know their average age, education or their level of awareness of the subject you have chosen for your speech and so on. It is also important to gauge their mood.

Understand what message they want you to deliver. Learn how best to package that message in your speech. Design your speech to suit the level as well as the mood of your audience. Choose the most suitable words and expressions possible. Think about appropriate body language to fortify your speech. Establish and maintain eye contact with the audience. If you do, people will pay better attention to your speech. Intersperse it with a few spicy or humorous anecdotes to make it interesting. Remember if the crowds think you are a bore, you may hear them snore. In certain circumstances, encouraging audience participation will do the trick of beating boredom.

Speech organization
Effective speeches are always organized very well. You must have a catchy beginning, an informative middle and a stimulating closing. The opening of your speech should be such as to rivet the attention of the audience. Remember that the closing will decide the degree of success of your speech. However, the bulk of your speech lies in the body, the middle, where the main points and sub-points are presented. In the end, a brief summary of the speech will have to round it off. The end is just as important as the beginning because it is what the crowds take home with them as they leave.

Preparing yourself
Writing down your speech, revising it to your satisfaction, rehearsing it systematically and, standing in front of a mirror or imaginary crowds, delivering it are a few of the steps you can take in order to ensure your success as a public speaker. The better prepared you are with your speech; the higher will be your chances of facing your audience fearlessly. Also, it will help you to give a more effective and impressive speech.

Do proper ground-work and arm yourself with appropriate preparation. The more prepared you are, the more confidence and less fear you will have. You will be able to stand in front of large audiences and captivate them with your well-rehearsed speech. You will receive your reward for your labor when they stand up and clap and applaud.

Challenging but within reason
There is no point in setting an unrealistic goal that would be impossible to reach within a specified amount of time, while the goal needs to be challenging it also needs to be attainable. The whole point to setting goals, however big or small is to bring about a feeling of accomplishment and self-worth, if your goal is not within reach realistically then you have very little chance of attaining it and this will have the opposite effect of what goals are set for.

Set specific goals
Be more specific when setting out your goals, break your goals down into smaller more easily obtainable goals at first. For example if your goals are to lose weight then instead of simply saying that you want to lose weight specify an amount of weight that you can realistically expect to lose in the specified amount of time.

Always give yourself a deadline
Set yourself a deadline in which to achieve your goal, if you have not got a specific date for reaching your goal then you will probably be forever putting your goal off and ultimately never achieve it. By setting a realistic time limit in which to achieve your goal then you will stand more chance of succeeding and the rewards to your self-esteem will be enormous.

Keep a written account
By keeping a written account of your goals, you will be able to see clearly what you achieved in the past and what your expectations are for the future. Keep a detailed journal and divide goals into categories such as those goals that you wish to reach in the short term and also those which will be obtainable over the long term.

Set only goals that are believable
Only set goals which you yourself think are believable, there is no point just setting goals for the sake of them if you do not honestly believe that you can reach them. Think long and hard about any goals you make before setting them for yourself, ask yourself questions such as, "is this something that is within my capacity to reach?," "how much time would this realistically take?" and "can I do this or am I asking too much?" You have to honestly believe that the goals which you have set for yourself are attainable within the specified amount of time you have given yourself otherwise you will lack the motivation necessary to accomplish them.

How we see ourselves has a lot to do with how others see us, if we are happy, smiling and full of confidence then others see us as someone they want to be around, if we respect ourselves and portray this then others will respect you too, after all how can you ask for respect from others if you don't even respect yourself? So finding and developing your self-worth is all about developing your self-esteem, so let's take a look at esteem

High self-esteem
If you have a high self-esteem you will see certain traits in yourself and how you see yourself, traits linked with a high self-esteem or self-worth are

* You are secure about who you are and have confidence in your abilities

* You allow yourself to show your true feelings to others

* You don't have intimacy problems in relationships

* You are able to recognize and take pride in yourself for your achievements in life
* You are easily able to forgive yourself for mistakes and also forgive others

Low self-esteem

Similarly if you have problems with self-worth or low self-esteem then you will follow a certain pattern in your thoughts and ways, if you have problems with low self-esteem then you will see the following points in yourself

* You lack belief in yourself and are very insecure

* You have problems showing and accepting intimacy in relationships

* You never let your true feelings show

* You never recognize and give yourself credit for your accomplishments

* You have the inability to forgive yourself or others

* You resist change at every opportunity

Developing your self-worth

There are plenty of ways in which you can boost your self-esteem and change to a more positive and healthy outlook about yourself, here are some tips for developing and boosting your self-worth.

* Don't take other peoples criticism to heart, instead listen to what they are saying and learn from it.

* Take some time out for yourself everyday, meditate, look inside yourself and realize all your good points and imagine changing your bad ones into more positive.

* Celebrate and pride yourself on even the smallest achievements that you accomplish.

* Do something everyday that you enjoy, such as talking a walk in the sunshine or soaking in a bubble bath.

* Never deprive yourself of something you enjoy, if you know you shouldn't be doing it, then do it anyway and stop chastising yourself about it.

* Talk positively to yourself, repeat affirmations to chase away all of the negative thoughts and feelings.

So how do you know which book is the one you're looking for and the one that will offer you the information you need?

A good place for you to start is developing a good idea of the self help topic you want information on before you start looking. Knowing in advance that you want a book about dieting will vastly cut down on your choices and make your search a great deal easier.

Narrowing the topic down further to a particular diet like South Beach or the Three Day Diet, for example, will make it even easier to find just the book on the self help topic you want and need. Just remember that the more specific your self help topic is, the easier it will be for you to find a book with the information you seek. And with all the books on self help subjects there are to choose from, you'll be glad you took the time to do this.

Good places to find books on all kinds of self help topics are, of course, your local bookstores. Don't stop there, though. Explore different websites for information, special reports and books on the self help subjects you're interested in learning more about. Amazon.com is also a great place to shop for books in the self help genre, and they make it easy for you to shop, 24/7, from the comfort and privacy of your own home or office.

No matter what it is you're looking for in the self help genre, from helpful books on quitting smoking to finding the love of your life, to more serious self help issues such as dealing with alcohol abuse or drug abuse, know there's a book sitting on a shelf or in a warehouse somewhere, just waiting for you!

Traits which are common to the unassertive person
Almost everyone that has a problem with un-assertiveness suffers from a huge amount of empathy, which means they will take into account and worry more about other people's thoughts and feelings more than they do their own. While a certain amount of empathy is a good trait, too much causes many problems for some people when it comes to saying the simple word "no". People suffering from an over abundance of empathy will find it extremely difficult to say "no" to others and usually those requesting favors know this and many times the person is taken advantage of. Just remember the next time a colleague or friends asks you to swap a shift or you are asked to do a favor of any kind that your time is just as valuable as those asking you for the favor. If it is no big deal then fair enough but if you had other plans to spend that time then learn how to say "No".

The trick to learning how to say NO
Learning to be more assertive is not something you can do easily overnight, there isn't any magic wand which you can wave and you wake up the next morning with a different attitude. You will have to practise saying "no" and many times in the beginning, although you appear confident and think you can do it before the confrontation, you will find yourself drifting back to your old ways and hear yourself say "yes". Here are a couple of helpful points to get you started on the road to assertiveness.

Practice at home
Start off by practicing your assertiveness when home alone, you can do this in the mirror, by doing this you will simply get used to using the word "no" until it begins to roll off your tongue much more easily. Once you are a little more familiar with the word then practise with close friends and relations, whatever you are asked to do the politely but firmly decline. If it is something you wish to take part in then you can always change your mind later but for now, you are simply practising using the word with people you feel comfortable around, which will make it so much easier.

Make sure you understand their request
If you are asked for a favour then resist the temptation to say, "Yes" immediately without first fully understanding what is being asked of you. Get as much information as you possible can and then consider it before making a decision, never feel pressured into giving an answer there and then, if need be say that you need time to think about it before giving your answer.