Hospice called me yesterday. It was a follow up call from a grief counselor about the death of my best friend, Arlene. You may remember, she died just over two months ago.

I was surprised since I am not a member of the family until I realized I was their main contact as her medical advocate.

Funny when someone asks you how you are doing, you automatically say, “Fine.”

I thought I was fine. I had been praying for her to die. And up to now, all I felt was a numb relief that she was no longer suffering. I had not shed a tear for her.

Until the other day, I heard a song on the radio. The tears started.

Here are the words if you are post/Sinatra/ Billie Holiday. They say it all.

I’ ll be seeing you
In all the old, familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through.

In that small cafe
The park across the way
The children’s carousel
The chestnut tree
The wishing well.

I’ll be seeing you
In every lovely, summers day
And everything that’s bright and gay
I’ll always think of you that way.
I’ll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I’ll be looking at the moon
But I’ll be seeing you.

Sheila, the counselor, said that most people do not even start to process a loss for several weeks. And ,it is likely that something as small as a song can start it.

So I guess I am not fine yet. I am starting to miss her terribly. And even though I am busy with my life coach practice and writing articles for my blog, and finding so many new friends on the blogs, something has changed.

I feel lonely but I find myself turning down social invitations. I’d rather stay home and be quiet.

The grief counselor said she’d call again in a while to chat. I will welcome it because I found it so comforting to talk to her.

She made me feel like I was right on schedule. And she suggested that when someone asks me how I am, they really might want to know.

Everyone who is reading this has experienced the loss of a loved one.

So, I’m asking you -

How long does it take?

ABOUT ARLENE

ME?

To understand my amazement, here is a quote from my “About Me” on my blog.

What? Me a blogger? And crazy about it! It is like being obsessed with a new lover. Until last year, if I told you that I knew what the difference was between a web page and a blog, I would be lying.
Now I do. As they say in Brooklyn, where I originated, “Who knew?”

There are thousands of sites on line with advice. People who have been doing this for years. I am still, after a year, what is considered a “newbie.”

But, if you want a “newbie’s” advice I will share what I know from my experience. All you experts who know everything about this please sign off now. I may be about to make a fool of myself and I don’t want you to witness it.

First. What is a blog?

A blog is a little like an e-mail interchange that you do everyday now with your friends. Except it is an instant public conversation. You control what you have to say. You write something and people who read it can give their opinion, ask questions or complain. There is a place after your writing called “comments.” It is an interactive forum. Everyone sees what you have written and everyone can read the comments. And, you can comment on the comments. You can also delete the comments before they are published if you don’t like something or if they are just spam.

How is it different from a web page?

A web page is more of a statement or an advertisement. Usually, unless you are technically adept, you will probably need a webmaster - an expert to set it up for you. I know I couldn’t do it. It could be an information place for your business, service or product. If you want to change something on it, usually the webmaster has to do it for you. People cannot offer comments except to send you an email or ask you something via their “contact us” feature. The general public does not see these.

Everyone who has an Internet connection can find your blog if they know your blog address, which is the title of your blog. They can access it just like you can search for a product or service by putting your blog title in the information slot at the top of your email page or if they go to a search engine like Google to locate it.

Why would an ordinary person want a blog?

A couple of examples.

My son Alex is a Cubmaster for over thirty little boys in the Boy Scouts. When I have been at his home, I notice he is constantly on the telephone making arrangements for meetings, planning events, arranging outings, looking for parent volunteers to escort these events and - on and on.

He loves doing it but it is almost like a part time job. I have been encouraging him to start a blog to distribute information and answer questions. It would save a lot of his time and the parents could print out the information for future reference.

Or - if you are involved in your local church, you could post information on activities and even put the transcript of the Sunday sermon on line for people who missed it or are physically unable to come to church.

What does it cost?

If you want a simple informational blog, Google has a service that is free. Go to www.blogger.com. You can learn about it there and they claim you can create your free blog in five minutes. You need very little technical knowledge. That’s where I started, until I decided I wanted to expand to an extensive blog with a lot of features.

Can I make money on a blog?

Here is where we are going to part company in this article and I am going to turn you over to an expert. But, the answer is yes. You can sell ads on your blog if you have a lot of people coming to read it. This is not for the faint hearted. You have to produce a lot of articles and it could take a year to build up interest from advertisers. But, think about it, you could do this from your home computer until you are 102!

How do I learn to do this?

I accidentally found this wonderful, young, clever, brilliant and knowledgeable teacher by the name of Yaro Starak who lives in Brisbane, Australia. He makes a lot of money on his own blogs and even shows you his invoices and accounting to prove it. I signed up for his program and have found him eminently honest and clear. This charismatic teacher will take you by the hand and put you through your paces in spades. Be prepared to work.

His mentoring program is called Blog Mastermind and you can investigate it by clicking or pasting the link below into your search browser.
Here’s everything you ever wanted to know about making money and delivering great content!

In my estimation, if you have a topic that you are passionate and very serious about and want to give it out to the Universe of the Internet - this is the best and only place to learn how to do that.

Just click on the link here.

BLOG MASTERMIND

So, take it away, Yaro!

And much luck to all you future bloggers! I am looking forward to seeing you on line!

Although I did over 400 shows for Wisdom Television, it has been a while. So, when I approached Michelle Vandepas for an interview, I wondered if I still knew how to do it.

I have to admit I am a little rusty but it was a lot of fun.

Her blog is called Divine Purpose Unleashed. Fortunately, she has her subject down pat and nothing that I threw at her fazed her for one second.

Questions like -

“What do you mean by Divine?”

“Are you connected to a religion?”

And, the biggie -

“Can an atheist have a divine purpose?”

I convinced Michelle to let me hijack her site. She’s a good sport.

I thought you might be interested -

Michelle is a popular blogger, author, seminar leader, counselor and the host of two different radio shows - Whew!

In addition, she is a super techie, wife, mother - and always has a new project going!

So here is the interview. Enjoy!

CORINNE INTERVIEWS MICHELLE VANDEPAS

Let me know if you learned as much as I did!

Thanks, Michelle!

But your company has just increased your quota and you are scared looking at the job reports on TV. Today you feel like you have just hit a wall.

It’s burnout. Also called the Blahs. It happens to everyone.

It used to happen in early January when I was in the travel business.

Every December, around the 15th, there would be a huge barrage of business. This is when people realized no one had invited them for Christmas dinner and they did not have a date for New Years Eve.

They all said the same thing. “Get me out of here! Anywhere!”

It was a challenge to find space. But, we did it.

The first week of January, my whole office was staring into space. Exhausted. Tapped out.

This nightmare happens to all people in sales. It may be combined with the information that you have a new boss who is fired up - and your company comes out with a huge new promotion and they want you on it. Now.

I remember getting a call from a client who was inquiring about a World Cruise that first week in January. That could be a $100,000. booking and the thought went through my head, “Why are you bothering me?” (PS - that could be up to a $10,000 commission)

The blahs pass. But, in the meantime, although there are many components to a new sales promotion or a World Cruise, you have to do SOMETHING.

Visualize a tea kettle simmering on the stove. You may not be ready or interested in making tea but you have to keep it whistling. People usually will leave you alone if you give them the appearance of activity by giving them frequent updates on what you seem to be doing.

In the case of a World Cruise, you have to at least make the call and book a cabin. Get it started. Confirm it to the client.

This is where voice mail becomes your friend. You know when your boss is out or when your client may be busy. Email is also good. Frequent ones describing your efforts to promote your product or finalizing arrangements. You are working on it.

People don’t always demand action - they want to know they have your attention.

After you have nailed down the urgent beginnings - take the rest of the day off. Go home and take a nice nap.

The blahs come. But they also go.

The successful person that you are is still inside you.

By tomorrow, they may have passed. A week from now, no one will be the wiser about your goofing off.

Tell us -

How do you get over the blahs? We need to know!

My cousin Pam sent me this list and I had to laugh because I had received every one of these.

I don’t think she was the one who compiled it - so whoever did - thanks for the warnings.

The best part is the people who send them to you do not know how to cut and paste and blind copy so you have the opportunity to send the information from Snopes and Hoaxbusters to their entire email list.

Here’s your dose of doom for today!

• Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a
  paper towel.
• I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last
  person was doing while flipping through the channels.
• I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has
  happened on it since it was last washed.
• I can’t enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon
  peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces.
• I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of
  a public bathroom.
• I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the
  glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every
  envelope that needs sealing.
• Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
• I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown)
  who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
• I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
  $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating
  in their special e-mail program
• I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
  for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.
• I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
  freaks with no eyes or feathers.
• I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
  buffalo on a hot day.
• Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
  forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
  minutes.
• Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove
  toilet stains.
• I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car
  so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.
• I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
  products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God’ on their cans.
• I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
• I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
  perfume sample and rob me.
• I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
  for or which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda ,
  Singapore and Uzbekistan
• If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
  minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this
  afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you
  to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened
  to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s
  cousin’s beautician.

OK - kidding aside now.

The big questions in my mind - with all the fear in the world already -

WHO WRITES THESE SCARY EMAILS?

WHY?

You might also want to check my article here

The End of The World - (again?)

Have you noticed it is mostly gone?

“Features” which used to be on the back pages are now front page news. The Front Page is devoted to storytelling.

Michele Weldon, the author of a new book, Everyman News - The Changing American Front Page, says “Logistically, the newspaper is the last to cross the finish line on news.”

And then adds, “If it is breaking news and hot, it has already been in a video on line, on TV, radio and blogged about on countless sites.”

Hard news has been replaced by “storytelling” and what she calls “Chicken Little Journalism” accounts that are not particularly backed up by the reliable sources that hard news used to demand. Pay attention to your daily newspaper and you will see she is right.

She ought to know. She is an Assistant Professor at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism - a former columnist and reporter for the Dallas Times Herald and a freelance op-ed and feature contributor to the Chicago Tribune and Los Angeles Times.

Her chapter, What’s Blogging Got To Do With It? is worth the price of the book. She says we have helped to replace the front page.

To prove our importance, she mentions that the 2007 YearlyKos blogging convention was attended by seven out of the eight presidential candidates.

A few other comments from her book -

• Did you know that 54% of bloggers are men and 46% are women?
• And over 50% of all these are under 30?
• In 2006, Technorati.com reported there were close to thirty one million blogs on their roster - and that was two years ago.

We can only guess what has happened since.

Although this is an important book for Journalism, Michele Weldon has never lost her ability to write in a breezy, engaging, entertaining way.

I like the way she ended the chapter on blogging -

“Each form of media influences the other and attempts to steal the reader’s time and attention. It is now a crowded dance floor …. with partners eager to cut in and grab the reader for a twirl”

Hey! She’s talking about us!

And we are dancing as fast as we can.

For more information on Michele - her book and her new blog - click here

Michele Weldon - Everyman News

I don’t know where he called from as he is a world traveler and helps conflicted families who fly him around the world to assist them in resolving seemingly insurmountable domestic or family-business dilemmas.

He is a family therapist, a writer and a professor.

He is also one of the top personal growth bloggers on the planet. He has 55,485 readers on his blog, Difficult Relationships.

But he made the time to call ME! To say I was thrilled is an understatement.

I was a blogger for only about two weeks when he sent me an email. He liked one of my articles on marriage and asked if it was OK to put it on his blog. I don’t even know how he found me. Of course I said yes even before I knew what a famous person he was.

It was the first time Google knew about me. I was too new to list.

I have to tell you I have run into this phenomenon before with the famous people. When I had a TV show -

Deepak Chopra arranged an interview for me with Wayne Dyer -

Wayne Dyer referred many authors to me -

Marianne Williamson promoted my new book by inviting me to speak at her huge church -

Andrew Weil came to his interview early and just hung out with my crew on the set -

Judith Viorst wrote to say it was the best interview on her tour -

All famous and busy people like Rod.

On the other hand, some new authors would hold up our production trying to renegotiate a standard release form. The big authors just signed it.

Maybe - that is how some of the big people got so big. They started helping people from the beginning and never stopped.

Rod gave me some advice when he called.

He said, “Forget about the stats on how many people come to read your blog.”

Then, he added, “Personal Growth bloggers are there to help people. The numbers will take care of themselves!”

Thanks, Rod, for the call.

More thanks for the good advice.

Sometimes we need to be reminded of our original intention.

Take a look at his blog. But be prepared. This was the first “Straight Talk Express!”

Difficult Relationships

It happened rather accidently. I have a Life Coach practice and a woman was recommended to me who is a blogger. I was not quite sure what a blog was. Pretty embarrassing.

But I caught a break. She was scheduled for a radio interview and they had asked her to supply the questions. They were supposed to appeal to an audience who knew nothing about blogging.

Whoever was listening would have asked, “WHAAAT DID SHE SAY?” The questions were far too advanced.

So guess. I did the questions for her. Starting with, “What is a blog?”

Guess again. I said, “Hey! I can do that!”

You’ve been stuck with me ever since.

I know this is not going to impress you veteran bloggers. But I had 5975 people read my articles this past month! This is a shocking number to me. It is an improvement of 5972 in a year!

I thought I would celebrate by putting up my most read blogs for your review and old time’s sake.

Here they are -

The Past - Holding on - Letting go

Got a Problem? - Just flake out for a while

When Your Husband Has Died - A survival guide

Are We Spiritual Yet?

Making New Best Friends - A tutorial from Arlene

Sales 101 - Loving the People

When Your Husband Wants Out

The Big Idea - When to bail out

In Defense of the Governor’s Ho

Women and the ol’ Boy Network

THANK YOU - TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO CAME BY. I AM OVERWHELMED BY YOUR SUPPORT.

AND SPECIAL THANKS TO EACH ONE OF YOU WHO COMMENTED.

The comments are the most fun. I try to answer every one. Many of you have become my new best friends.

KEEP COMING BACK!

I am loving it!

Is God mad? Is there a Higher Being out there who is just disgusted with us and have left us to our own devices?

Do you remember the “earth changes” maps of the 80’s? They were “channeled” by psychics who presumably did not know each other but whose maps were remarkably similar.

Florida, New York City - gone under water. California an island. Montana our most western state. The Great Lakes emptying into the Mississippi. Denver a beach town.

A friend sold her house in Chicago and moved to Taos.

But although these psychics claimed the changes were imminent -

NOTHING HAPPENED.

It is sobering to turn on the news these days. Not only natural disasters but war and violence in our streets. I remember Dr. Andrew Weil, the famous author, saying that it is dangerous to our health to look at any news after six PM. It is destructive to our emotional health.

But if the doomsayers are right, how are we to conduct our lives if we are so fragile to destruction?

Should be stop working on our self improvement? Abandon our efforts to help the afflicted?

We are sitting at our kitchen tables choosing which bills we can pay this month. We are forgoing a modest meal out with our families because we have to put gas in our cars.

We are saying, “Don’t bother me with talk of God’s wrath. He has no reason to be mad at me.”

The ordinary person is powerless about the problems in the world. Our grass needs cutting this weekend. We are looking for that extra $20 to pay for a school trip for our son.

We can do some things. We can make a small donation to the Red Cross. We can vote with our feet this time. Yes, we can vote. If we live in a disaster area, we can help a neighbor.

If we are not among the movers and shakers, all we can do is live. We cannot take responsibility for events beyond our control.

In the meantime, if this is the end of the world - so be it. We’re all going to die sometime.

So all we can do is live in this moment - and this one - and not worry about the future because it will happen with or without us. It is time to enjoy the time of our lives.

So, turn off the TV. Throw a few burgers on the grill. Enjoy your kids playing hoops in the driveway. There is a new baby in the family to enjoy.

And take the time out to smell the flowers now.

Just in case the doomsayers are right and the flowers will all be gone.

with only TV

so lonely

we just have to accept life
everyone knows that

lonely

an intelligent person copes
everyone knows that

sitting alone
in a perfect room
the new lamp has arrived
your sister says
it warms that corner

lonely

sitting alone
in a perfect house
the cleaning service
has polished
the already clean

lonely

there’s a movie you want to see
you don’t go

lonely