There is nothing but terrible news on TV – so I decided it was time to cheer you up and tell you about a little miracle.

Frank, who is eleven, has been talking about going to see the movie Transformers for weeks.  He’s my grandson’s best friend.

But he is recovering from Leukemia and a bone marrow transplant and his immune system has been wiped out for now from the treatments.  This little guy can’t go anywhere there are a lot of people – like a movie house.  He is too vulnerable.

He can have a few friends over to his house.  But masks are the requirement even when they are healthy.  They have all seen the movie so they tell him about it.

It is not the same.

They all live in a very small town about two hours from Chicago.  Everyone knows everyone else there.  The owner of the one theater in town is very active in the community. He knows Frank from the Cub Scouts.

At a holiday parade this past weekend, he asked my son Alex about Frank.  Somehow, the movie came up in the conversation.  They discussed how soon the movie might be on DVD so that Frank could finally see it.

Fast forward a few days.

We were busy having a great barbecue when the phone rang.

“We are going to have a private showing of Transformers for Frank on Tuesday at 9:30 AM.  Ask him to bring a few friends.  We’ll even have the popcorn machine going for him.”

Newsflash!  Just heard the great day happened and the report.

Frank loved the movie and had a wonderful time with his buddies, Julius and Jeremy.  He can’t wait for the DVD to come out so he can see it again

After having the theater all to themselves, they were given a tour of the projection room – and wait – full free access to the candy counter.  How nice is that?

Somehow the reports of the scandals, the funerals, the governors, the serial killers, the wars  – faded away for a while.

What was left was one kind man who I would love to name but he will not permit it.

The story stands on its own without his identity.

And that story is that there are everyday, small business people in the world who care about their community and the people who live there.

We don’t hear about them much.  They are not news.

But they are still around.

And one brave little boy who will never forget that.

And perhaps, neither will we.

Picture by Sandburchick

Success, to me, means doing something meaningful and getting some combination of spiritual, social and financial reward in return. Craig Newmark, Craiglist *

Can you be beautiful, smart, creative, spiritual, a super tech, a business owner, world traveler, seminar leader, a blogger, a speaker, a radio host, a mother, a wife – all at the same time?

Nah.  Probably not.

Meet Michelle Vandepas, who is all those things.  I could add a few more  – like a loyal and generous friend –

Some of you who are reading this have known Michelle for years.  Help me out here and add to the list.  I have only known her for two years.  But I count her as one of my best friends.

We met on a forum.  I was a new blogger and way out of my pay grade as a techie. (I thought at that time if I could download a file and cut and paste I was all set.  Wrong)

I had really gotten lost in the mystery of WordPress.  I asked some really stupid question everyone should know and she felt sorry for me and contacted me.

She went into my blog and fixed it FOR FREE.

Now, she doesn’t usually work for free but that is just evidence of what a kind person she is.

Michelle just did the complete makeover of my blog.  Now, it wasn’t that bad to start out – just kind of blah.  Have you noticed?  She really cranked it up.  I am thrilled.

So I decided, as a big thank you, to do a sales page here for her.

You can pay THOUSANDS to set up a blog or a do over.  She is very reasonable and I thought, as a public service to you, you should know about her.  She’s been doing this for a long time – writing “code” in the 80’s before there was an Internet.

To start with – if you just need to fix something you cannot figure out yourself, she charges  only $35.00 for a 15 minute ‘quick fix’ or $125. an hour to get you out of your mess.  She’s quick.  Ask for an estimate.

Here are her other services:

Webservices offered by Michelle Vandepas:

1.   Free group calls.

Information and discussion about websites and search engines, internet marketing.  Free call covers basics of web set up and Google juice, how to move up in search engines and what a keyword really is.

Offered monthly.  More often as demand increases.

See?  She still does some stuff for FREE!

2.  Webinar – If you want to learn to do it yourself.  Each one is only $49.00 a. Learn to move up in search engines, meta tags, keywords and page ranking b.  Learn how to set up your own blog or website using Wordpress software (readily available to anyone) c.  Word press training

SIGN UP HERE FOR THE NEXT CLASS!!

Sign up to be notified of these free calls and Webinars here:

3.  Michelle will do everything for you.

$495.00 includes set up of a simple website
with your name and color choice in a banner, 4 pages, 10 photos, custom colors, and email subscriptions (using feedburner). 1 year free hosting, domain name. unlimited support for 1 month. BASIC SEO (search engine optimization).

$795.00 includes setup above and more advanced SEO – for those serious about moving up the search engines.

Also Available:

Monthly maintenance:

Silver plan. $35.00 a month (includes free hosting!- a $60.00 a year savings!)

Keep your website working smoothly! Included is: updating wordpress, and all the plugins to keep it working smoothly, monitor feedburner (your subscription options), unlimited email/chat support.  Monthly recorded group phone call with questions answered about Wordpress.

Gold Plan  $75.00 month

All of the above PLUS  – monitor keywords with new keywords suggestions for the search engines.   Monitor your Google analytics, page ranking. unlimited email/chat support.  monthly call on SEO (in addition to monthly call on Wordpress above.)

Platinum Plan $125.00 month

All of the above PLUS includes group call on Internet marketing – social media, eeBooks and Four 15 minute private coaching sessions monthly of her specialty “Holistic Marketing” – how to market yourself and your small business, both on and off the internet.

Contact Michelle to discuss what you need at Michelle – at – divinepurposeunleashed.com.

Bookmark  this post and be sure to at least sign up for the free goods.  Keep her name handy.  You will need her some day.

THANK YOU, MICHELLE, FOR ALL YOUR HELP AND  SHARING YOUR EXPERIENCE.  YOU ARE THE BEST.

Please add your endorsements for Michelle in the comment below.

Her blog is DIVINE PURPOSE UNLEASHED - Click to find out more about her.
Sign Up for Michelle’s free calls and Webinars here

*Quote is from What Makes You Tick – wonderful new book on success.

N.B.  This is not an affiliate post.  Just cheerleading for an extraordinary person.

My dear friends…

Life is so very short. A social acquaintance of mine died this week, and while we are not close, the man’s death at 56 is startling to the system. He died of a rare disease that was only diagnosed in February. And so, I am left sitting here today with yet another reminder of how tenuous life really is.

There was that terrible commuter train accident in Washington, D.C. the other day. People killed instantly. Then, before that, the Air France flight that abruptly dropped out of the sky.

And on Thursday, The King of Pop, and the Queen of the Angels.

Then Wednesday of this week a bomb attached to a motorcycle exploded in the Sadr City section of Baghdad, killing at least 60 people in a market filled with shoppers, according to a report in The New York Times. The report went on to say that it was the third bombing in two weeks to cause “double-digit casualties” in Shiite communities in Iraq.

People — ordinary, everyday people, not enemy combatants — go to the market and never come home. Or get on an airplane and never come home. Or contract a mysterious, extremely rare disease and never leave home again.

And life, itself, is just that tenuous. We think we have forever, and we do not.

Now I don’t mean to be dark here, or maudlin, but I know that I have been awakened this past few days, once again, to the reality that our lives are very, very short — and can end in any moment.

What that does for me is create a different context within which I consider the choices and decisions of my everyday life. How much time do I want to spend with my wife and my family? What do I choose to do with the days and times of my “professional” life? What is the purpose of the things that I do hour by hour…including writing this Bulletin every week? What is the purpose of life itself?

As you all know, I have ideas about all of these things. Ideas that I believe have been given me by God, in a series on conversations that began nearly 14 years ago. I’m going to discuss some of those ideas with you here in the weeks ahead…just for the sake of review. I want to take a look at them again, and see how they feel and how they fit into my life today. Or, better yet, how my life today fits into those ideas. Because here’s the story: I’m not sure that I’m living the ideas that I have been given and have, in turn, presented to the world. So I want to look at those ideas, and see how, if we believe them, we could all more closely embrace them, and more fully enact them, in our day-to-day experience.

One thing I know is that I do not want to have anything wasted. I mean, it feels as if I have “no time to lose” — that if my life is going to have meant something, I need to get moving, right now, on creating what it is going to mean.

This drives me to the central question of all of existence: what is the reason that we are here, upon the earth? Who are we, really, and what are we doing here? We’ll begin there next week. If you have your own thoughts on this subject that you’d like to share, write to NealeDWalsch@aol.com. In the meantime, make this a very, very wonderful day. And look to see what you think of doing when you think of making it that. What comes up for you? What is your first idea about how that might occur?

As we ponder this together, enjoy the week ahead.

Love and Hugs,
Neale.

Neale Donald Walsch, the #1 best selling author of the Conversations with God series, devotes his time to sharing the messages of his books through writing, lecturing, and facilitating spiritual renewal retreats. The creator of the School of the New Spirituality and founder of The Group of 1000, a nonprofit organization supporting global spiritual awakening, he lives in Ashland, Oregon.

For more information on the ReCreation Foundation.

Click here for a complete bibliography of his books

You are out there beating the streets and so far no one has taken you up on an interview, a review, an endorsement  – nothing.  You are coming up zero.  What you are hearing is that they are very busy right now.

Don’t lose the information on those first contacts.  You have spent time on them.  Put the work aside and go on to the next.

Back up.  You are going too fast.

Perhaps you are asking  really busy people who have many requests and I am not suggesting that you call them often and be a pest.  But I am suggesting you do not give up.

In the meantime, concentrate on smaller radio shows and bloggers who are friends.  Do some interviews yourself.

If you are new and starting out, you have to make friends.  Yaro and Gideon on their Become A Blogger program stress that you must make intelligent comments on other sites to build relationships.  This will not only build traffic for you but it will help when you need publicity. Join Stumbleupon and promote their posts.  Or Digg.  Believe me, you will get noticed.

There is a book store in Naperville, Illinois called Anderson’s Bookshop. It is not a huge store but is a gem that has been around for a long time.  The top authors want to do book signings there.

I did too.  So, I sent them a letter and my book.  And I called.  And I called.  They were very polite but no banana.  I was a new author for them.

I got the name of the real decision maker.  It is not always the manager.

The next time I called, I asked for that person and asked her, “How do I get you to fall in love with me?”

She laughed and laughed and she gave me a date for a presentation.

Getting into Anderson’s was important.  Not just to get in there but to SAY I had presented there.  It carried weight with the other stores I was romancing.

What you have to do is build up authority.  Then, when you approach the big guys again you will have something to link to that will give you some weight.

Your credentials are like an employment resume.

Have you already done some interviewing on audio or video?  You should make a “reel.”  That is short clips from each one – maybe 2 minutes and a total of no more than ten.  No one will look at more than that.

Make it simple.  A little music and a title. Then the name of the person and the clip – repeat – end with your information and a little music.

I learned early on from Yaro to do what you are good at.  I am a writer – not a techie.  Find someone on your forums to do it for you if you don’t know  how to do this.  That’s how I found Michelle Vandepas who is a super techie and was writing code before the Internet existed.  (She just did the makeover on my blog.  Isn’t it nice?)

Send your tech the full interview.  Time it and tell them where you want the clip to start and end.  Give them the first and last word.

I discovered this idea by accident.  A publicity agent  who sent me many great authors for my TV show asked me to take a new author and I was swamped.  I told her maybe later.

“I really need this interview to send out to get other interviews.”

We squeezed her client in.  We had a relationship.

You need  other credentials.  Endorsements for example.  People are busy. Offer to write one yourself and see if you can get someone important to sign it.

Reed, who is one of my favorite commentators offered this story:

“I have a beginning author friend who wrote a novel based on his experiences as a high-school football player.  He asked my advice on how to promote his book. In his novel my author friend mentions Ditka and a number of his famous players.

The “light bulb” went on!! I called my friend and said, “you and I are going to have dinner together and I know JUST the restaurant. But before we do I want you to do some home work: Write a ‘Forward’ to your book.  Then off we went….to Mike Ditka’s.

There was Coach Ditka enjoying his cigar.

We showed “da coach” the Forward my friend had written and asked if he might sign it so it could be included in the book. Guess what?  HE DID!!”  His friend sold the book.

As your “resume” builds up, you can start going back to  to your follow up file with all your new information.  Ask again.  After a time, ask again.

When I wrote Media Coaching – Getting Publicity the thread that ran through the comments was that this seemed hard.

It is.  You have to be persistent.

We could even label it another word.

Shameless.

Picture by tibiloo

So – finally – you have a book deal.  It has been bought by a publisher.

Congratulations!

With visions of sugar plums dancing in your head,  you are dreaming of glamorous cocktail parties for the press, an appearance on Oprah, book signings at major bookstores, first class air, limousines, luxury hotels and media coaching.

Not so fast.

If you didn’t have a “platform,” it is unlikely that they would have bought your book in the first place.  A platform is your ability to promote your own book maybe through a blog that has 10,000 subscribers, a social network with a huge following, are a well known speaker -something…  It doesn’t matter if you are William Shakespeare reincarnated or have written the last great American novel.

Unless you are a tested and true celebrity author who has delivered millions of sales in the past or a major media political figure with an expose – you will be expected to do most of the publicity work yourself.  And pay your expenses.

This is nothing new.  Except for the super stars, the majority of authors who were featured on my national cable show paid their own way to Chicago.  And the budgets have shrunk further since then.

The publicity department for your publisher will help some.  They will send out press releases, offer free review copies to prospective radio, TV and journalists who request them.   They may send you to the Book Expo convention.

One exception.  I guarantee you if you happen to interest Oprah or The View, they will pay to get you there.  Otherwise, it is up to you.

I can hear you.  Why should you share your revenue income with an agent and a publisher then?  You did the work.  You wrote the book.

Having a publisher buy your book has one huge advantage.  They have a distribution system which will get your book in stores. That is HUGE. And the stores which have stocked your book will welcome you to come in to speak and sign books so they can sell them.

There are several ways for you to get publicity and the following applies whether you have a publisher, are self published or have written an E-book.  It is also applicable to a program or course you have developed to sell.

Some ideas -

You can hire your own professional publicist.  Just as an estimate, this would cost between $1500. to much more with a usual minimum contract of six months.  The price reflects how much clout they have with print media, TV and radio stations and which authors they have represented before.    They will prepare press releases, make the calls, send out books and make appointments for you.  It is best to hire someone several months before your book actually comes out.  They will probably suggest a media coach.

You will want to do some research on the Internet to see whether they are experienced with the type of book you have.  After you get a list together, they all have web pages.  You can also get recommendations from your publisher and even other authors.

You can be your own publicist.  You can feature your book on your own blog.  You can work out an affiliate program with other blogger friends;  you can prepare your own sales page and list your book with a service like Clickbank.

Use social networks to get the word out like Face book, Twitter, LinkedIn or forums. Call in your buddies to feature you – and Retweet you.   You’ve helped them in the past.

Write an article based on your book and send it to your local newspaper.  Find out in advance how many words are ideal for them.  If they have a slow news day they might just plug it in.

Advertise in RTIR. It is a magazine that goes to thousands of media outlets.  Not really cheap but I got many interviews out of it.  I started with three months.

Getting on national or cable TV or a major radio station show is more of a challenge. But use any contacts you have and you may get lucky.  Have a professional looking press kit to send out with a head shot.

Find out who the decision maker is and write directly to that person.  Get the spelling and their title right.  Snail Priority Mail is still used. Don’t waste money on FedEx.  No one will be impressed.

If you use E-mail you should consider doing a cut and paste besides an attachment.  Some producers will not download a file.

Speak. Speak. Speak. Bookstores are a given.  But – according to the relevance of your topic – what about Rotary, Lions, University clubs, Senior Centers?  These unpaid and overworked program chairpeople are always looking for speakers.

If you can garner a crowd, a book store may handle “back of the room” sales.   Especially if they give a donation to these charity based organizations.

If you are promoting an E-Book, your web address is on your business card, right?

Don’t overlook Public Access Television in your town.  Start looking at the local shows and approach producers who look like they might have interest in your topic.

Internet radio, like Blog Talk Radio, is a great way to get publicity.  There are quite a few now.  Again, do your research and listen to some of the shows to see who features topics like yours.  Contact them individually by name and make reference to the shows you have heard.  No mass emails please.  You don’t want to contact a sports show if your subject is archeology. Offer to send them a copy of your book on request.

If they don’t answer, contact them again.  Mention you are available on short notice.  Some guests cancel late.

TV and radio shows are voracious monsters.  They need to be fed constantly with new guests.  So don’t be shy.  Keep asking.  You are doing them a favor by filling their space.

Start your own show on one of the Internet radio stations.  Most are free and will allow you to promote your own products.  Ask your talented friends to come on and interview you.  Then return the favor.  Everyone is selling something these days.

One of the advantages of the Internet radio stations is they usually allow you to post the show to your blog. So it keeps on giving even if you don’t have a lot of audience at first.  People can listen later.

Does publicity sound like a lot of work to you?  It is.

You will learn a lot.  Your next book publicity program will be a snap.  You will be your own media coach.

You have come this far.  Go all the way.  Share your great writing everywhere you can.

Writing your book has been the hard part.

Are you up to it?

Yes.  You Are.

People ask me what I do as a media coach.  My question is – What do you need?  Are you being interviewed and need to tune up your story so it is tight and punchy?  Are you an interviewer who needs to do research on a guest and develop questions?  Does your copy need to be more crisp and to the point?  I usually work by the hour – not monthly.  So you can get as little help – or more  -  as needed.

I have had fun in my media coaching practice by being with my clients on their laptops on Skype while they are on live radio.  I give them guidance and even the next question or what to go back to and cover in the interview.  Yes, while they are on the air!   When you are new at it, you can get a little lost.

I’ve been on so many sides of the game that I either know how to solve your problem or know who can.  We need to talk.

Posts on this subject you can click on:

INTERVIEW LIKE LARRY KING  – Learn from the Pro

AUTHOR MEDIA COACHING FOR THE FERMISHED AND CONFUSED

HIRE CORINNE EDWARDS

Photo by Tiny Dancer

OK – maybe you are not fermished and confused.  Thought  it would get your attention.

But if you have a book coming out, you are in for a surprise.

You and/or your publicist will endeavor to get the word out by setting up interviews on TV and radio.

You would think that your host would carefully prepare for this interview by reading your book and learning all they can about you.

Chances are – you will be wrong.

After a few out of the 100 interviews I did for my last book, I realized that the first question I would get was -

“So, what’s your book about?”

As an interviewer for Wisdom Television on national cable for several years, I was always prepared.  I read the book – had my questions lined up and could go in almost any direction according to the answers I got from my guest.  I thought everyone did that.

They don’t.  This is the horrifying truth.

You have to prepare your interview in advance.  Most know nothing about you.  They have not read your book you sent.  You have submitted some questions in advance and publicity material.  Nada.  They didn’t look at anything.

The brilliant Dr. Deepak Chopra was my best teacher and one of my best interview subjects.  He always answered the questions I had prepared – but then somehow he turned it around and gave the interview he wanted to give no matter what you asked.  Watch him on Larry King or any other venue.  You will learn something.  He is the master at getting his message out.

So, let’s run through it.

WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT? Get this down tight.  Concise.  Prepared.  Rehearse it.  Make it punchy.  Interesting.  Deliver it with energy.  Enthusiasm.  You want to grab the audience fast.  Make sure you mention the name of the book in the first sentence.

WHAT QUESTIONS DO YOU WANT TO BE ASKED? Now answer them.   Rehearse these too.  You want to pull a Chopra on the interviewer.  Answer their question and then include these things into the conversation.

Radio programs are usually a half hour.  TV invites give you less time.  Make your points clearly and tightly.

TELL STORIES. People remember and love stories.  Make them short but interesting.

PRACTICE WITH A FRIEND. You’ll feel more comfortable when you are doing the actual interview.  Expect to be scared.  Everyone is.  It gives you an edge.

WEAVE THE NAME OF YOUR BOOK  INTO THE CONVERSATION.  People forget.   But try not to be a shameless self-promoter.  Just a few times is enough.

WHO IS THE IDEAL AUDIENCE FOR YOUR BOOK?   How would this person benefit?  Bring that topic in.  It could even be interesting to add who would not benefit.  Adds a little contrast.

DON’T YOU DARE SAY, “IF YOU READ MY BOOK YOU WILL LEARN . . .” It is irritating. Give them the stuff.   If they like you, they will buy the book anyway.

FINISH UP WITH A NICE WARM CLOSE.  Thank the interviewer by name for having you on.  Casually mention the name of your book again and how people can buy it.  No hard sell.

CONFIRM THAT YOU HAVE REPLAY RIGHTS FOR PROMOTION. Usually not a problem if you give proper credit.

YOU WILL NOW HAVE THE “BONES” FOR  YOUR TALK AT BOOKSIGNINGS. Most stores want a half hour.

E-BOOK? All the same points.  Use the work you have done to write the article leading to your sales page.  On the show, state your web address clearly.  If you are on TV, ask in advance if they will put it on the screen.  Check with the CG operator that it is spelled correctly.

REMEMBER YOU WILL GET BETTER AT THIS. Have fun with it.  This part of the book writing is the reward for all your hard work.

You will not be fermished for long.

If you are, take two aspirin and call me in the morning.

Here’s my information.

*Fermished – messed up   Everyday Yiddish-English-Yiddish Glossary

Photo by Beechdesign

And on the other side of this – you might be interested in looking at -

INTERVIEW LIKE LARRY KING

Solemn faces on a tintype.

Children starched in a row.

His hand rests upon her shoulder.

Ancestors from long ago.

Was there passion in that couple?

Did they fight?  Did she cry?

Did their world lay smashed around them

when that child she’s holding died?

Family pictures.

Serious people.

A faded letter in a drawer.

Fragile papers tell no stories.

when the faces live no more.

I wish I knew more about my grandparents.

They arrived in April 1909 at Ellis Island from Trinidad with six children under ten on a ship called Suriname. My grandmother, Hortense,  was 29.  I know that much.  Henry, my grandfather was 45.  By the time I was five, they were both gone.

Why did they come to the harsh winters in New York from a tropical paradise?  I have heard a few stories and have seen some old pictures but there is no back story.  No real story.

You have a story.  You have learning from your life.  Things that could benefit someone.

Your grandchildren would like to know you long after you have gone.

Is it time for you to write it down?

I have met so many people at book signings, on television and radio shows – and believe it not, on the street or in a supermarket who told me the same thing.

“As soon as I have time – or when I retire, I am going to write a book”.

I always had the same answer for them. “Nobody has time. If you want to be a writer I have a one word for you. Write.” They always looked at me a little doubtfully.

It occurred to me that people just don’t know where to start.

If this is you, I’d like you to read an article I wrote on this over a year ago.  Perhaps it will inspire you to start.

Click here to read the article

It is time to start.  I have written three published books and an E book.  They are on all different topics but when you write you put yourself in it.  You become known to others.  My latest book seems to be about sales – but it is full of my experiences in my life.  You will know who I am when you read it.

Perhaps your book or memoir will hit #1 on the New York Times best seller list.  If so, wonderful.  You will make millions.

But you have something to say.  It is time to say it.  If not for the glory, to leave your memories behind.

Read the article above and start anywhere.  You can put it all together later. An added benefit is that you will review your life and you will remember all the wonderful memories.  And perhaps exorcise the events you want to leave behind.

One day, your grandchildren or your great grandchildren will wonder about you.  What your life was like – how you felt about it – who you really are.  Where they came from.  What were your dreams?  More than just pictures from long ago in a drawer.

Will you leave them the answers?  Don’t leave your grandchildren and future great grandchildren wondering.  Give them the back story.

Your story.

It was a short comment on one of my articles.  Saying thanks for some interesting posts..

And then – THE QUESTION.

How does A Course in Miracles help someone who has been told he has a terminal disease?

Although I have studied the Course, I decided to turn the question over to my close friend, Sheila Morrison.  Sheila has been a facilitator for several study groups every week in Chicago for years and has studied with Dr. Kenneth Wapnick, the renowned interpreter of A Course in Miracles.

Here is her answer:

“When facing difficult, difficult events in our lives, the first thing we want to do is to be very honest with ourselves.  We want to look at all the feelings and thoughts that we have – the anger, the injustice, and the sadness.

The Course tells us that there is no death; that it is a mistake to think that our life began when our body was born and that it will end when we let this body go.

We don’t want to spiritualize our way out of our feelings.  This would only serve to skip the classroom that can ultimately bring us a greater peace than we have known in the past.

Our life exists outside of time and space and we project all of our experiences onto the body.  We over identify with this body to the point that we believe we are a body.  Just like when we go to the movies, we identify with the characters on the screen.  When they are sad, we sit in our chair and we feel sad, we cry.  When they are vindicated, we feel triumphant.  If the character is treated unfairly, we are angry.

Nothing is really happening to us, yet we feel all these emotions as if they were really happening to us. This is the same thing we have done with the body.  We are mind – over identified with the body to the point that we really think these things are happening to us.  This is something that we can consider intellectually, but it is very hard to really grasp that I’m not a body – particularly when our body are failing us.

The course says that it is practically impossible to deny the body – and that it is a particularly unworthy use of denial.

If that is the case, what is it that I’m supposed to do?

I hold in my thoughts that I am something more than a body, but I don’t want to deny what I’m experiencing.  This experience is my classroom.  It is through looking at all the aspects of my experience that I will eventually learn that my peace is not dependent on my body.

I ask for help from my inner teacher (Jesus, Holy Spirit, Higher Self, whatever symbol works for you) and ask myself what is this for?  If I am projecting this onto my body, what purpose does it serve?

So I don’t deny what I’m experiencing and I am as gentle with myself as I can be.  I take comfort from family and friends.  I avail myself to whatever help that’s available.

And as I go thru all the myriad of emotions and thoughts, I watch them and I learn from them and I don’t judge myself.”

A Course in Miracles is a spiritual thought system.  Not a religion.  It operates under the premise that there are thousands of ways to God – and they are all good.

The questioner in this article is obviously in pain.  There are many like him. Maybe you.  If not now, SOMEDAY.    We are not going to get out of this world alive as we know it.

We welcome your viewpoint and your feedback.  Please add your comments below.  This subject is important to all of us.  We need your advice and comfort.

We need to support each other.

Sheila Morrison, Ph.D, is licensed clinical psychologist who has a practice in Chicago.  She has lead ACIM groups at two locations for many years.  For further information on her practice or the study groups of A Course in Miracles, she can be contacted personally at silemo at aol.com. (This is spelled out to discourage spammers – add the usual @ to contact Sheila)

Course in Miracles introduction

Video interview with Dr. Kenneth and Gloria Wapnick

Photo by Miracles One

My guest counts.  My guest is more important than me.  I don’t use the word “I.” I ask short questions.  I listen to the answers.

Interview with Larry King from The Talk – Chicago Tribune

After 400 shows as a producer/host on national cable for Wisdom Television, I learned a thing or two.

Who was my media coach?  You guessed it.  Larry King.  Watched him every night.

Here are a few things I learned.

1. This is probably the most important point that Larry made. Your guest is the star of the show. Not you. Do not give your opinion on anything. Do not tell stories about your experiences.  Nobody cares.

2.  Research.  Research.  Research.  Pretend your guest has asked for a big loan.  Check out everything about them.  Make a list of all possible questions.  Give your guest the list and have them add to yours.  Give them the probable first question.

3. Short intro.  No more than two minutes.  I always liked to start with a question.  Like “Are you wondering what to do about —-? (whatever)  We have help for you today. ” You want to engage your listener right away. Then, a few credentials. Do not mention why you asked them to be on your show. That’s about you. This interview is about them. Thank them warmly for coming on.

4. Listen. I know you have YOUR LIST.  But if your guest says something provocative, stop and ask about it.

I swear I have heard some interviewers who if their guest said, “I just drowned my cat,” instead of saying, “WHAT???” would go on to their next question.  This is a conversation, not an interrogation.

5. Assume your audience knows nothing. So start with the basics. For example, I once had an author on my TV show who was a Buddhist nun. She was surprised when I told her my first question was “Who was Buddha?” She said everyone knew. They don’t.

6. Ask a question once. Don’t add a tail on it like, “In your book you refer to —-Can you explain it?  I mean that is quite a statement.  Where did you get that idea?”
Let the first question hang out there. Your guest got the question the first time.

One of my favorite questions Larry King asks is just “Why?”

7. Don’t interrupt..  Unless your guest is hijacking your show with self-promotion.  Then interrupt and bring them back to explore an earlier point in the interview.  Tell them in advance you will promote them.  They don’t have to do it.

8. No personal questions.  Unless you clear it with your guest first.

9. Avoid technical terms. See #5.

10. At the end of the interview, be sure to thank your guest for taking the time to come on your show.

11. Recap their bio briefly at the close – “We have been talking to -etc.

12. Don’t promote yourself until the very end. You are entitled to a short promo but make it real and appropriate and short.  Maybe just your web site.

13. Thanks for listening to me today. I’m Corinne Edwards and I am a media coach.

And special thanks to you, Larry.  You are a great teacher.  Can’t wait to read your new book, My Remarkable Journey.

For more information on how I might help you, click here.

HIRE CORINNE EDWARDS

Photo by Anime Nut

The nation reeled in shock at the news recently that a soldier had killed his comrades who were undergoing treatment for mental distress.

Although there are frequent violent incidents here at home, there was something so much more traumatic that it happened in Iraq and that the killer was an American soldier.

It brought back a memory of a time when I was a volunteer on a crisis line.

A person, usually a man, would call and say, “This is my third call until I could get a woman to talk to me.  All the other people who answered were men.  I just hung up.”

I believe this man could have been caught earlier and helped if they had more women counselors and psychiatrists.  Men have such shame in admitting their fears and problems to other men.  They don’t want to appear weak to their peers.  It makes them appear, especially a tough soldier, unmanly.  Humiliated.

They need a stand in for Mother love. Someone who would say it is okay to be scared and lonely and at a breaking point.  Mothers do that on an instinctive level.  They listen more.  They judge less.

Women feel safer to men.

That is not to say there are not good men out there who care.  But I noticed, having raised four boys, that they would tell me things they would never dream of sharing with their father.

Most of our troops are still tender children.

I learned a few years ago when I was in training as a crisis line volunteer that people really don’t want advice.  Even, sometimes, when they ask for it.  They want someone to listen.

We especially find it hard when the answer is so apparent and simple that we cannot understand why we can’t give it.

The psychologist who did extensive training at the crisis line told us -

“If we thought that giving advice would help anyone, we would be the first to tell you to do it.  You must start with the premise that no one wants advice.”

The second piece of instruction she offered is to never ask a “Why?” question.

The only answer to a why question is that it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Most people who confide in you just need to be kept afloat.  To be heard.  To be offered a kind ear.  No one changes a life situation until they are ready.  And, when they are ready, they do it.

This applies to us too.  We can mull over a problem for a long time and then suddenly – we get it.  It is like a “click.”   Then we move so fast to solve it that it is like a volcano erupting.  When we are done, we are so done!  Gone. That person who has been tormenting us or that situation that seems so desperate is history.  And we don’t have second thoughts or even look back.

There were a few exceptions of intervention on the crisis line.  We were to take action immediately if a child was in danger.  We had a special signal to alert our supervisor in this case and we were to keep the person on the telephone long enough for the police to trace the call and to send help.  We were to try to find out where the child was in the meantime.

The other instance was a suicide call.  What was interesting is that people did not call and say directly, “I am going to commit suicide.”  Most of them alluded vaguely that life is too hard, or they have nothing to live for.  They talked around the subject.

On the crisis line, the psychologist said we were to confront the person who was calling directly and loudly with the statement, “I DON’T WANT YOU TO KILL YOURSELF!”

We are all afraid to say that dreadful word “suicide” to anyone because we feel maybe they are not saying that – perhaps we have misunderstood – maybe we are giving them an idea they don’t have.  She said, NO.  They already have the idea.  Whether we are on a crisis line or in your personal life, you have to confront it directly.

Sometimes this confrontation is shock enough to stop someone.  There is something about the statement that is sobering to say the least.  They will back off.

But, most of the calls on the crisis line were from people who were unhappy.  Most of our friends who confide in us are just unhappy too.

They trained us in what they called active listening.  To repeat back to the person what they have just said to us in our own words.  For example, “What I am hearing you say is that you are unhappy with –” And then,  just listen.

The training I got from that crisis line has been invaluable in many areas of life.  It has made me a better life coach, friend and mother.

We all usually have our own answers within us.  The psychologist is right.  They and we – may ask for advice but we don’t want it.

By letting people talk to us, by finding someone who will hear us out, we are helped and help others to find our way. Our own way.

A friend sent me his version of the famous Serenity Prayer.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can and the wisdom to know it’s me.”

I’d like to suggest that the Armed Services put more women on the job to assist with traumatic stress disorder.  Not only overseas but when our young men and women come home.  We are natural nurturers.

We need more trained and professional “Mommies” on the job.

Photo by dmacks_87