Personality Development Blog

How to manage Anger?

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 18:53:00 +0000

When emotions run high and thoughts run amok, even a calm person may become a victim of anger. It is a proved fact that the emotional life of an individual frequently influences one’s health and also the personality.

Studies indicate that for 1/3 to 1/2 of patients who are consulting physicians because of physical symptoms have no bodily diseases or ailments, but they are due to emotional factors. It is important to observe that physicians have to study the patient as a whole.

The effect of emotions on bodily changes is apparent in many gastrointestinal disorders, in the form of nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, indigestion abdominal discomfort and diarrhea and ultimately leading to peptic ulcer.

Emotions also affect central nervous system causing anger and stress, which can disrupt lives as much as an earthquake (which can alter biography). The present century is labeled by many as “the age of anger and anxiety”.

Anger can harm an individual’s physical and social health, since it is a manifestation of selfish, unfulfilled desires. Anger is described as a violent outburst of emotion, stemming from the frustration of the individual. Anger is “one letter short of danger”. Hence it should be avoided, under any circumstances.

At the time of angry, the hormones “epinephrine and nor-epinephrine” are secreted in excessive quantities, leading to increase in the heart rate and rise in blood pressure and also the blood vessels are contracted and increase in the incidence of premature heart diseases. An angry person frequently loses his memory, knowledge necessary or logical thinking and proper human behavior. Angry starts wit minor irritation and it can grow into an obsession, that disease the mind.

When the power of discrimination is lost, the individual falls to a level of almost zero stage. Anger is also known as temporary madness. Of course, all of us are victims of anger at one time or other. Anger gives rise to injustice, persecution, jealousy, cruelty, physical and verbal abuse or rash behavior.

Anger management tips: Self discipline and self-management plays a key role in controlling the anger.

1. Take a deep breath before confronting. It helps you to be in control of the situation.

2. One should be aware of oneself when one is getting angry and this awareness alone can remove all traces of anger. Art of relaxation is to be developed.

3. One should learn to adapt to any situations so that taming anger out of stress is possible.

4. Take a walk till you feel at peace with yourself and then return.

5. Scream into your pillow.

6. Grab a joke book and laugh your heart out, because laughter is the best medicine, especially for anger.

7. Write down whatever makes you angry and don’t stop till you are drained out of anger.

8. Count 50 numbers (10 is not sufficient) and the anger will be out of your mind.

Quote: “He, who angers you, conquers you”. If you conquer anger, then you will be sure to win the battle.

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How to lead a happy successful life?

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 15:53:00 +0000

Human life is the most precious and God given gift to us. Hence we must enjoy it happily and successfully. It is not meant for weeping and sleeping only. God created us with a specific purpose. Happy life will automatically enhance once self confidence and personality and his stature in the society. Personal Developement advisors are giving simple tips to lead a happy life. PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi is the best example for those who want to lead a balanced and successful work-family life.

10 tips to lead a happy life:

1. Avoid the egoism:

Egoism is nothing but “I and myself mentality”. Usually, most of us are of the (false) opinion that we know more compared to others and need not heed to other’s advice and suggestions. Thus, some times we may take wrong decisions and causes irreparable damage to us and also our family members.

2. Avoid the fear of defeat:

Fear is the root-cause for all the defeats that often we face in our lives and most of the times it is imaginary and having no sufficient base. Be brave and have the courage and mentality of “come what may happen, I face it boldly”. Certainly, your mind will be free from that devil of fear.

3. Self-confidence:

Self-confidence walks before every success. Such was the effect and importance of confidence in our life and career. Without it, you can’t move even for a short distance. It can be compared to a spear, which can pierce any thing and makes its way forward. Never lose confidence in yourself and go ahead and success will be in your palms. Study the life of “Abraham Lincoln”, the president of America and see how he faced the repeated failures in his life.

4. Proper planning:

Everything is in zigzag state, if there is no prior and proper planning. Every where, every thing goes according to plan of action. To construct a multi-storied building, the architect prepares a map of the monument and then it will become very easy to construct that building.

5. Family responsibilities:

Owning the family responsibilities is the part and parcel of the successful living. No body takes any interest in other’s family problems. You can’t avoid and escape from them.

6. Financial securities:

You must earn money and secure it either in cash or kind, for future safety. But, your earnings should be in rightful manner, not in illegal ways, under any circumstances. Otherwise, law will take its own course of action.

7. Proper goal-setting:

A goal less life is compared to a boat without a rudder. One must have a goal (proper destination or achieving something) in life, to make the life meaningful and role-model to others. We can take the inspiration from the lives of so many great leaders, like –“Mahatma Gandhi (India), Abraham Lincoln of America, Nelson Mandela of South Africa, etc.

8. Avoiding postponing mentality:

The golden word is: “Never post -pone a thing till tomorrow, what can be done today”. Nobody knows about tomorrow and what is in preserve for it. Today is equal to ready cash. So, better depend cash, rather than cheques (which may be bounced) often.

9. Dedication and devotion:

In any dealing, trust plays vital role and sincerity has its greater effect on our deeds and dealings with others. Hence, devotion and dedication have positive roles in achieving success and goals in our life and career.

10. Having interest:

The last but not the least is “having interest” in our job or profession or career or business or anything else, we are dealing, doing or working. Without enthusiasm and interest, we can’t reach our goal (aim) and achieve success in our valuable life and career.

Quote: “Where there is will- there is a way”. Enjoy your stay on this earth with proper planning.
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10 tips to have a great career

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 09:56:00 +0000

In these days of competitive work life, one needs to be multi-skilled person to have a great career. You need to develop communication skills, you need to cultivate good etiquette, you need to need to acquire leadership qualities and finally you need to become a great learner to move your career on steroids. There is no place for slow learners and lazy people in these days of fast paced working environment.

10 tips for a great career:

1. Relationship: Have a good relationship with your boss and be always available and extend your full co-operatin to do extra work if he needs and don’t wait for his formal request to you. It creates good impression upon you.

2. Show your skills: If you got any special skills and capabilities and in your opinion they are useful for your organization, bring them to the notice of your boss without hesitation and made a request to him to give an opportunity to prove yourself what you are.

3. Behavior: Behave yourself in such a manner that others should take notice of you and your personality. Learn the skills to express your opinions vividly (communication skills), so that others should not miss-understand you. Soft skills are playing vital role over educational skills.

4. Leadership: Learn the leadership skills and always think and behave positively. Leadership skills are necessary to move up in the organization.

5. Dare to be different: Show some specialty in the daily work, as people want variety from the routine. If possible, try to allocate 20% of time to do different things (Google way).

6. Proactive role: Never forget to have your impression in all the deeds and works. For that purpose, you have to participate and represent yourself by taking responsibility from your wing (department or section) in the organizational meetings. It boosts your morality and efficiency.

7. Help others: Never hesitate to help your colleagues if the necessity comes and in turn it improves your experience and at the same time you get good recognition among your colleagues and friends.

8. Adjustment: Take extra responsibilities in your wing (place of working) if the time demands and fulfill that work within time and sincerely. Your colleagues will help you whenever you need them. It creates confidence in the management of your organization in your skills and in future, any opportunity arises, they give preference in selecting you for that venture. Learn to work in teams.

9. Give advice: Share your valuable suggestions and advices, regarding the possibilities for further improvement in the organizational activities and also chances of improving the functioning skills of its employees and make a good plan of action to that effect.

10. No place for job-hoppers: The last but not the least is, always available yourself to the management. Don’t become a job-hopper. 80% CEOs have worked in the same organization in most of their career. In future if any chances of promotions arise and also new opportunities come, the management first of all considers your name for that new post or promotion.

Quotes:

1. “Obedience is the secret of success”.
2. “Those who know how to serve also know how to reach the top of the ladder”.

Please share your tips to have a great career.

Success: Secrets, quotes and tips

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 03:57:00 +0000

Everybody wishes to have a successful career in his/her life and also aims to reach the top most position in his career. It is nothing but natural. To achieve success, the minimum required two things are, we have to strive hard and have a good plan of action. Without those two minimum actions, we could achieve nothing and there after our position becomes just like a stone, without any improvement. What are the secrets of successful people? How to improve ourselves to lead a successful life?

Secrets of Success:

1. Desire
2. Ability
3. Utility of skills
4. Hard work.

1. Desire:

To achieve success in life, first of all, you should have an intense desire, otherwise, you won’t get required result.The aim or goal should be depending upon your previous and practical experiences. Take into consideration your plus and minus points and also your present position, before setting your goal. Either too little or too big goals do not serve our purpose and often we may met with failure. For them success is at far away distance. Hence proper selection of goal is highly essential.

Success quote: “First deserve and then desire”.

2. Ability or Confidence:

Human brain contains millions of neurons. The “memory” present in each neuron is equal to one computer. Its capability and level is same in each and every individual, as revealed by the experiments. But, some persons have low confidence in them, which leads to inferiority complex and they achieve little in their career. At the same time “over confidence” in their ability is also not so good.

Success Quote: “Too much of everything is always bad”.

3. Utility of skills:

Having skills is not of much use but one must have the ability to utilize them properly. Every one among us has the necessary strength within us to do anything, but at the same time we are having doubtful nature also in us. As far as possible, we have to try our level best to reduce this doubtful nature, so that the journey towards success will be very easy. Many people do not evince keen interest to melt this “icy-layer” of doubtful nature. Both Sachin Tendulkar and Vinod Kambi are skillful cricketers but Kambli failed to utilise his exceptional skills while Sachin became the greatest cricketer of alltime.

Success Quote: “Hope is life and success”.

4. Hard work:

Unless we work sincerely, we can’t achieve our goal easily. Success comes to those who work hard and show keen interest in their career and of achieving the goals. You should feel “the taste of work” and in turn you feel “the taste of success”. For that, you have to feel happiness and enjoyment, while undergoing (facing) the hardships and under any circumstances you have to over come them by your ability and skills.

Success Quote: “No cross-no crown”.

There are no shortcuts to achieve success in life. You need to work very hard; bear somuch pain; have self confidence and always think positively. Try to learn success lessons from great people by reading their biographies. One should have a clear goal and patience to achieve success in life.

Must read: Abraham Lincoln life history.

Please share your success stories through comments.

Stop worrying and start living

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 18:13:00 +0000

Nobody loves problems and everyone wants happy and stress free life. But failures and problems are inevitable in every person’s life. Successful people use these problems and failures as stepping stones to achieve wonderful things in life (Abraham Lincoln) while ordinary people keep on worrying about their and ruin their health and some may even commit suicide.

First one has to recognize that problems and failures are part and parcel of one’s life. Real joy in life lies in solving those problems. Positive thinking and self confidence helps in facing these difficulties. Those who lack self esteem and belief in their abilities succumb to those difficulties by keep on worrying about them. Just imagine the life without problems and

Cause for worry:

Man’s usual nature is “fretting, furring and fearing” about the future, as well as, about the fast, also worrying about his career and financial problems in day-to-day life, etc.

Effects of worry on mind and body:

1. Mental tension, high blood pressure and heart attacks,
2. Rheumatism (fever and pains in the joints)
3. stomach aches (peptic ulcers)
4. Common cold
5. Thyroid problems (goiter)
6. Diabetes (due to less secretion of insulin hormone)
7. Worry shortens our life-span, etc.

How to overcome worry?

1. Find out the causes for the worries and then stop worrying.
2. Face the facts and don’t run away from them.
3. Do something to restore peace to your mind.
4. To solve your problems, apply the magic formula of “Rudyard Kipling”. The formula is very simple and easy to apply, i.e. putting the following questions to obtain answers for your problems –what, why, when, who, where and how?
5. Get the facts analyze them and have a clear comprehension of the problem.
6. Arrive at a decision: After you have peeped into all the causes, take a decision, what to do and what not to do. Other wise, you will be perpetually in a state of confusion. Whatever decision you take, follow it up fully and faithfully.
7. Be too busy to worry. It is rightly said, “The idle man’s brain is devil’s workshop”.
8. Have faith in God.

God is the ultimate source of peace, strength and power. But that faith is perfect and you have to depend sincerely, to solve your problems. Certainly, God comes to your rescue.

Golden quotes about worry:

1. “Worrying is disbelieving in God”.
2. “Past is a bucket for ashes and the future is yet in the womb of time”
3. “Face the present (the fact) with courage of conviction”.
4. “See the funny side of life. Health and happiness be yours”.

Please share your experiences in solving problems in daily life.

Control your desires

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:35:00 +0000

Men have three types of desires, i.e. desires of the eyes, of body and the desire for more amount of money. Controlled desire will help to achieve our goals but excessive desires are the root cause for stress in modern life due to lack satisfaction. Goals and desires are the tools to achieve great things in life but setting up right goals and controlling desires are the difficult tasks in life. Great leaders have burning desires to achieve their goal but not on materialistic things like money and women. Lack of desire makes you feel boredom in life.

Bad desires:

1. Desires of the eyes:

Never desire for everything which is seen by the eyes. For example your neighbor might have purchased a big-sized car or TV, maybe he is very rich and your economic position does not permit you to offer that much big sized articles. So go as per the size of your pocket. Hence do not compete with others unnecessarily.

2. Bodily desires:

Body also desires which appears beautiful and attractive. Who knows, whether it does well or bad to our body. For example, fire appears bright and reddish and if we touch it, it burns our fingers and brings deep pain instead of happiness.

3. Greediness (desire for excess amount of money):

Everybody needs money, no doubt. But some people, even though, they have sufficient amount of money to meet their every need and personal requirements, still they crave for money. They won’t satisfy with the amount they earn legally. But they want to earn money by hook or by crook. For example, money-lending business at too much high interest rate, purchasing lottery tickets and doing other dirty things for the sake of easy ways of earning money, etc. They always are under tension and lose their health and finally the entire money will be spent on treatment for curing their diseases.

In Hebrews 13:5, God said, “Keep your eyes free from the love of money and be content with what you have, never will I leave you”.

Another desire is “Craving for food”. They are always worrying about eating and drinking only. Eat to live, but not live to eat. One should have desires, but, they must be within limits, and others should not suffer, due to our greediness.

As Jesus said: “Greediness is the root cause for man’s down fall”.

In history also, we can see, number of kings and emperors met their “Waterloo”, due to excessive desires.

How to overcome worry?

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:43:00 +0000

Worry is an enemy of your life and also a big hindrance to your personality development. It is worry, which in the long run, spoils our life, affects our personality development and also drives us to ruins.

This is the quote in "Twelth Night" - “I am sure care is an enemy to your life”. Here care means “worry”.

Mahatma Gandhi rightly said, “There is nothing that wastes the body like worry”.

The usual causes of worry are: Problems that cause worry are as different as how people react to problems. Generally people with positive thinking can face problems effectively than people with negative mindset. That’s why problem solvers rose quickly to top positions in companies. We should not think about problems but should focus our energy on how to solve them.

Effects of worry on the body:

1. Hyperacidity in the stomach: The golden saying is “If you weep, your stomach weeps”. Weeping stimulates the nerves of the stomach, there by more secretion of hydrochloric is produced, which in turn damages (eats) the stomach (gastric) walls, leading to “peptic ulcer”.

2. Worry causes stress and strain: Due to constant stress, the brain and nerves have to bear the brunt the person suffer from –high blood pressure ,which leads to heart strokes and brain strokes ( paralysis).

“What is this life with full of care, we have no time to stand and stare”.

How overcome worry and be happy?

Two types of remedies are available:

1. Scientifically: If you have strong will power and self-confidence, you can easily overcome the worry. As per the great Napoleon (emperor of France), “Nothing is impossible to human beings”.
As H. w. Longfellow wrote,

“The cares they infest the day,
Shall fold their tents like Arabs,
And as silently steal away”.

Music is one remedy of cares, anxieties and worries. That is why our shrines (holy places of worship) are with full of divine musical songs which smoothen our jarring nerves.

2. Spiritually: The famous quotation is: “Worrying is disbelieving in God”. If you have faith in God, you will not worry. Most of the people (devotees) say that we believe in God, but still worry is troubling us. Believing means –not simple belief or so called part time belief, but total surrender to God, the Almighty.

Problem is a sign of life means you did something which went wrong that is common in life. Learn from it and march towards success. This is the way of life.

Don't forget that problems are signs of life while worry is an enemy of life. Great people find happiness in solving the problems.

Communication skills: Why should you learn?

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sat, 24 May 2008 18:46:00 +0000

Communications skills are the most essential assets for anyone to achieve success in today’s competitive world. Companies are giving more importance to soft skills during job interviews. You can never enhance your personality in the society/team without communication skills. Soft skills are essential to have a great career or to get success in interviews. Never treat soft skills as an academic requirement but as a ingredient of your personality. A great intelligent person without communication skills can achieve nothing in personal/work life.

The various types of soft skills are:

1. Interpersonal skills.
2. Team working skills.
3. Creative thinking.
4. Decision making skills.
5. Problem solving skills.
6. Memory and reasoning techniques.

To day most of the parents encourage their children to study well so that they can get a “ good job” ad earn handsome salaries. No doubt it is a good thing on the part of the parents.
But what about other options (skills)?

Recently, an expert said in an interview that “It may be true that it is those students who secure more than 65% marks in their academic qualifications get the jobs in reputed companies and it is also a fact that it is those who secure between 50 %to 60% marks have started these companies”.

So, to build and lead a successful team, you can successfully able to communicate with your team member. You can never become a leader without these soft skills. All great leaders in the history like Abraham Lincoln are also a wonderful communicators. Just see how Obama trounced favourite Hillary Clinton by using his great communication skills.

For example, well- known personalities like Bill Gates (Microsoft), Lawrence Ellison (Oracle) and Michael Dell (Dell computers), etc. are all ordinary students during their school days and some are college dropouts. They went onto build great companies by inspiring people with their ideas and leadership skills.

This is not to suggest that you need not work hard in the academic qualifying exams but along with the studies, take into consideration of being able to think out of the box and equip yourself with all the skills required to become successful person in today’s highly competitive world.

Quotes: “Success is nothing but 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration”. “A successful person is a skilled person”.

Six simple steps for success

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Mon, 12 May 2008 16:49:00 +0000

We always try to succeed in whatever we do. No one loves failures in life even though failure is inevitable some times. Everyone loves success and hates defeat. Success enhances your personality and profile in society. But how to achieve success in life?

6 Simple things to achieve success in life:

1. Promises to be kept:

Under any circumstances, keep the promises given to others by you and also the self -given (made) promises, that is the promises given by you to yourself. First of all, make small promises and try to keep them. Later on, gradually switch over to big promises and fulfill them. Automatically, people develop confidence in you.

2. Do good things only:

Especially, it helps you, while you are in severe depression. Give helping hand to your friends and neighbors, that removes depression and provides you with full of mental peace (relaxation) because it brings out the inherent humanity in you.

Ex. while you are travelling in a city bus, offer your seat to a standing old man or a sick person. It boosts your morale and self-respect.

If you receive any help from others, write a letter to them, expressing you gratitude, which make them feel happy.

3. Never blame yourself:

“To make err is human”. If you did any wrong deed by mistake, do not go on brooding over it and do not blame yourself. Let resolve yourself “not to do that wrong again”, the matter ends there. Be fresh and happy. Blaming yourself lowers your self confidence level.

4. Be honest:

As per the proverb “honesty always pays”. In the initial stages, it seems very difficult to be honest, but, not impossible. But, be honest in your every deed. As the world famous leader Napoleon said “nothing is impossible in this world”. In the beginning, he was a corporal, later on; he became the emperor of France.

5. Be enthusiastic:

Whatever may be your job or career, be happy and enjoy your job. Job satisfaction is highly essential in one’s personality development and progress in life. Take relaxation and rest in between the working hours and avoid tensions. Go to picnic spots and also to movies of your choice during the holidays.

6. Recognize the talent: Some sort of inherent talent is present in every person. It may not be an extraordinary, but may be of normal type. Give your full support and co-operation to them, so that their talents will be brought to outwardly and will be improved further. They will be faithful to you and it boosts your self-confidence also.

Motto: “Helping others means, indirectly helping ourselves”.

Please share your secrets of success with blog readers.

Advice for Parents: How to raise Children?

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:17:00 +0000

Parents play in developing the personality of their children. Parents are role models for children in their early years. Afterwards, the role of teachers, other members in the family, relatives and friends has definite impact on the children’s behavior.

During childhood, the child naturally depends, physically and mentally on others. During this growing period, he expects (besides other necessities), to have caring, loving, relationship and also friendship, from near and dear. If he obtains the above things in early life, it means we are providing him a healthy mental atmosphere and the child grows with full self- confidence.

While growing, the children might have many experiences, which bring sufficient changes in their thinking, feelings and behavior pattern. Children respond accordingly to our behavior (which may be positive or negative). So be cautious while dealing with children. Parents’ behavior reflects in children. They act as mirrors to our actions.

How does Parents personality affect child?
1. Parents’patience and excusing mentality teaches children the quality of forbearance.

2. If parents give sufficient safety to their children, automatically they develop full confidence, not only in the parents but also in the surrounding society.

3. Give full support to the good deeds done by the children, that act of yours inculcate and create confidence in them and also it boost up their morality.

4. Teach them the techniques in making friendship with colleagues, it helps them to love others.

5. Never exhibit displeasure or angry with children, as it leads to despair and they prefer to move away from the society and do not much interest to mingle with relatives and others.

6. Too much criticism of children makes them cowards and also they suffer from inferiority complex.

At present, the changing values in the modern families, causing lot of pressure and mental tension in children and more over they have to spend most of the time in loneliness, there by they are not getting the natural care, love, affection from their parents. It is creating confusion and the abnormal feeling living among the foreigners not with the parents. This type of living conditions must go and he loving atmosphere should prevail.

Quote: “Child is the father of the man”.

How to solve problems in family life?

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:51:00 +0000

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. There are many variations in their personalities and attitudes. Not only the couple of the arranged marriages but the couples of love marriages are also quarreling with each other often, after some time of the married life as they fail to understand these differences.

Quote: “marriages are made in heaven and divorces occur on the earth”.

Marriage is a holy affair, because two persons who are absolutely unknown to each other are united together in the marriage, solely reposing faith and confidence in each partner. The main underlying factor in marriage is love (which is godlike). Both are equal and they should try to understand and give respect to each other’s feelings and opinions. If they lose faith and love in each other, naturally petty quarrels begin to crop up and begin to complain against each other.

1. Usual complaints made by the wives against husbands:

• Men never try to understand them.
• They never respond to their wives’ feelings, interests and necessities.
• Men give preference to physical appearance of females, rather than beauties of the heart.
• If men get sexual desire, they won’t take into consideration the mental condition of their life partners at the time of gratifying that desire.
• Husbands won’t speak lovely and anger is always on their nose tips.
• Won’t take household responsibility and also leave the children’s responsibility on their wife’s shoulder.
• They won’t praise heart fully their better half, when she keeps the house neatly and in “spick and span”.
• They take decisions often unilaterally without consulting their wives, as some times they show bad effects on their children.

2. The complaints made by the husbands on wives:

• Females spend most of their time on “make up” and show much interest on unnecessary discussions with friends. Nothing more is required for them.
• Wives often wish to dominate their husbands.
• Wives express their happiness only, whenever the husbands bring presentations and gifts to them.
• Often females feel sex as a physical punishment, rather than enjoyment.
• They behave just like leaves of the plant, by name, “touch me not”.
• They often suspect their husbands’ integrity, whenever they speak to other women.
• Unless they spend most of their time in shopping, they won’t get happiness and also peace of mind.

Suggestions to both the partners:

• Always keep in mind; both are equal in the eyes of God, the Almighty.
• Some of the above said complaints may appear silly to the opposite sex (male or female), but strictly speaking they are not, as every complaint has got its own importance.
• It is not below their dignity, but moral responsibility to respect and fulfilling the desires of the opposite partner’s views and ambitions.
• No room for anger in married life and only “love, peace and understanding each other, must prevail in happy family life.

Quotes:

1. “Problems are always there, but you should not be a part of the problem”.
2. “Don’t mar the married life with petty matters (quarrels)”.
3. “Both of you made for each other”. “It is God’s plan to make both of you live together”.

Complex Personalities and their behavior

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Wed, 07 May 2008 11:01:00 +0000

The man’s nature, behavior, values, opinions, goals and achievements in life depend on the self-confidence only. No other thing influences the life such effectively, as self- confidence. Man should have confidence in his intellectual powers and energies. The individual who doesn’t believe and respect himself, can’t believe the surrounding society also. He can’t live happily and also not able to face the troubles confidently.

Persons having full self-confidence exhibit following signs:

1. They behave with responsibility and we can safely depend on them.
2. They keep their promises under any circumstances.
3. They are Honest and also have strong perseverance in doing any work.
4. Give importance to moral values.
5. Never hesitate to learn a new thing.
6. Strive sincerely to improve personally and also try their level best to preserve their individuality.
7. They express their opinions freely and won’t mind even if others oppose their views.
8. Have plenty of creativity in them.
9. Treat both the success and defeat as a part of life and won’t afraid of them and moreover lessons from them and proceed further in life.
10. Never reject the praises of others if they do them honestly.
11. They are not extraordinary and exhibit the natural human feelings like, anger, sorrow, pain, etc. along with happiness.
12. They try to render help to the society within their limits and capacities.
13. Others treat them as their role models.
14. The seed of self-confidence in them is seen since their childhood itself and the incidents that occur during their childhood and the society also help to grow the confidence in them.

Persons suffering from inferiority complex show following characteristics:

1. They can’t mingle with the people of the society.
2. As they have no confidence in them and expects only defeat in their every act.
3. Usually, in the beginning, most of us commit some mistakes in our attempts in performing any new works and later on we rectify them. But persons with lack of self-confidence take these mistakes as their inefficiency and get disappointed.
4. They always go on nurturing negative thoughts and often show averse to start any new programmes.
5. They always in second position when compared to others and can’t express their opinions and views freely.
6. They go on criticizing others as a defense act and behave without responsibility and prefer to be away from the society and be alone.
7. They can’t bear the “change” and whenever others support or love them, they think others are doing it with selfish motto.
8. They always experience bad incidents only, due to their negative thoughts.
9. The emotional feelings of anger, fear, agony, jealousy, feeling of insult, etc. are highly prevalent in them and can’t control them, due to their weak mentality.

How to overcome inferiority complex?

1. Develop positive thoughts like, “all are equal in the eyes of God”.
2. Try to know about yourself and take into consideration, the plus points in you and try sincerely to improve them.

“Nothing is impossible to human being” – Napoleon, the famous emperor of France.

Tips to improve public relations

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:04:00 +0000

Man is a social animal and he can’t live alone in the society, hence he should observe some norms while dealing with his neighbors and/or at the working place. Good public relationships improve your life and enhance life productivity. Maintaining good relations is an important part of personality development.

16 tips to improve public relations:

1. Never exhibit dominating mentality and egoism is hindrance to our progress in our career.

2. Never utter anything irresponsibly and always keep in mind the consequences after uttering any wrong word.

3. In any affair or quarrel, have patience and tactics in dealing with that situation.

4. Don’t be under the impression that whatever you say is correct or whatever you do is perfect. You can never win through arguments. Arguments only ruin crucial relationships.

5. Eschew the narrow mindedness and always be broad minded. Always be open to criticism and new ideas.

6. First of all, verify the facts in whatever you listen, (remember there may be certain lies), before passing any adverse comments against anyone.

7. Never encourage rumors, as they spread like wild fire, causing irreversible damage to the prestige of others in the society. Rumors travel faster than the truth.

8. Abhor the greediness, but develop the noble quality of charity.

9. Don’t believe everything that comes to your ear, from other and outward sources. Just listen to that and apply your own intelligence and judgment.

10. Never try to see everything (especially small) in magnified lenses. Try to see through the eyes of others.

11. Don’t be stubborn but have some flexibility while dealing with settlements with others.

12. Smile before speaking with others, as smile costs nothing but fetches more.

13. Never show that there is deficiency of love in you, instead talk to others lovingly.

14. Show obedience and give ample respect o others.

15. Whenever any dispute arises with your colleagues or business partners, take initiative yourself to solve that problem, instead waiting for their early initiative.

16. Get rid of the habit of telling all your personal matters to others, including to your dear and near. Everyone should maintain some personal secrecy. Secretes never be shared, but always be safely covered.

If you can follow these simple tips in your daily life, you will experience fruitful life through enhanced relationships.

How to achieve mental peace and success

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 10:17:00 +0000

Everyone wants success in his life and it is nothing but part and parcel in our personality development. Mental peace plays a prominent role in achieving the success. Everywhere people like to see the smiling face and serene mind.

How to achieve mental peace and success:

1. Fearlessness:

It is said that a fearless mind can achieve anything. Where there is no fear, there will be no tension and anxiety and automatically peace prevails there. Then our mind works clearly and is in balanced state. As we know that, balanced mind never makes hasty decisions. Serene Mind acts as a loving mother and it provides you with right answers and suggestions depending upon you requirements and the situations.

2. Constant reading:

One can attain knowledge through constant reading and observation. As we know well, “knowledge is strength”. We have to behave according to conditions and situations prevailing there. Timely act brings success, for example, getting the job or passing in the competitive exams.

3. Will power:

Persons having this power are usually away from weaknesses like laziness, postponing mentality, etc. They move towards success with a style which is peculiar to them. They never become slaves to bad habits and deeds. They are with sufficient mental strength.

4. Discipline:

It comes only with will power. People having this power can face the challenges and problems that occur in life, with confidence and courage. Disciplined persons rarely fail in either professional or personal life. Discipline, perseverance, patience and self-belief are the chief characteristics in personality development.

5. Punctuality:

If you wish that your future should be perfect and successful, preparations and planning for the future should be done now itself that is in the present time only. Present day is equal to ready cash payment and tomorrow is equal to cheque payment (may be bounced).

The golden word: “Never postpone a thing till tomorrow, what can be done today”.

6. Honesty:

The foundation for anybody’s life is “honesty” only. Honesty is the best policy to follow in life.
If you commit any mistake, accept it and correct it honestly. Don't disturb your mental peace with dishonest things.

7. Self –confidence:

History is created by few persons who believed in themselves. They will go against convictions and achieve success and create history. They will never stop innovative thinking for the fear of failure.

The great leader and president of America, Abraham Lincoln, usually did things according to his consciousness and became world famous and successful in life. If you want reach to your goal in life, self-confidence is highly essential.

“All power is within you” – Hindu spiritual guru Swami Vivekananda.

Role of Smile in Personality Development

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 15:11:00 +0000

Smile on your face is enough to change your surroundings. Smiling face is like sunshine. It is a wonderful feeling to be greeted by a complete stranger with a friendly smile. It is a nice feeling to smile and be smiled at. Smile does wonders in our real lives. A smile can set you free from bonds like sorrows and worries. Smiling face plays a vital role in the enhancement of one's personality.

The smiles of Leonardo Da Vinci’s Monalisa painting brings cheer to every heart and also for that matter, the smile of a baby brings same sensation in our hearts. A pure smile can generate positive vibes not only in a home but also at your working place (office).

When you smile, it will be returned, definitely. Life prolongs our life- expectancy period.
Smile costs us little energy and brings us happier. If you want to be serious (remaining angry), all the 64 muscles in your face have to come into action. But, if you wish to be happy or smile only 13 muscles action is needed.

If you go into history, the smile did such a glorious thing that it saved one person from death.

During the Spanish civil war, Antoine de Saint Exupery was captured and kept in prison cell. It was clear without any shadow of doubt that he would be put to death the next day, by the authorities. Saint Exupery wanted to smoke, as he had no matches, he requested the jailer if he had matches.

While lightening the cigarette , the jailer accidentally made eye contact with Saint Exupery who was smiling (without any reason). Even though, the jailor tried to be stiff, but the smile of the Saint Exupery drew the jailor into conversation and he also laughed. What happened soon after was that the jailor helped the saint to escape from the prison and saved him from death.

More over, man is the only the living being who can smile, in the whole creation of God, the Almighty. It is the gift given to humans by God. If you see any one without smile, give one of yours.

Smile costs us nothing, but fetches many dividends. So smile wholeheartedly and earn profits in real life.

But never forget the golden rule: “Laugh with a friend, but not laugh at a friend”. Never hurt your friends with rude jokes and comments. Human life is a wonderful thing and makes it happier with a little smile.

Please share your personal pleasant life experiences.

Art of public speaking: 8 things to avoid

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 20:08:00 +0000

When stage fright is the catalyst, most of the people choose flight. It plays a major part in one’s personality development process. Stage fear is a normal and to a degree desirable response, but it must be constructively controlled.

8 techniques to avoid to become a great speaker:

1. Preparation: Research the subject, organize the speech and then rehearse it with a tape recorder or with a friend. The more familiar with the situation, the less fear of it is.

2. To avoid confusion: Choose or modify the topic carefully, if necessary. Because, all is well that ends well.

3. Move about to avoid tension: By stepping away from the podium occasionally, walking among the audience or gesturing in a way that adds meaning to your words. (Otherwise tension produces more adrenaline, which wastes physical energy).

4. Use visual aids: Which helps you in minimizing your speech? Pictures impress listeners much, rather than words. One visual aid is equal to one thousand words.

5. Look your best: The speaker’s appearance should add to the impact of the message (rather than distract from it).

6. Dress maintenance: Wear your favorite suit, the one that makes you feel, as if you conquer the world. Certainly, dress and its color influence your thinking and behavior in any meeting or function.

7. Allow for spontaneity: Speak from a familiar outline, which allows the freedom to concentrate on the message. Speak conversationally and monitor the audience’s responses. Inter action with the audience helps the speaker to know the attitude and knowledge of the audience on the subject.

8. Speak often: Experience shows that the more we do something, the more comfortable and competent we become. Volunteer to give reports, introductions, invocations and announcements.
“Audience knows about the stage fright, but they admire the speaker who is in control of it, and at the same time, they dislike the speaker who apologizes for his nervousness (due to stage fright to speak)".

Silence role in personality development

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 19:03:00 +0000

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves. The bad effects of sound pollution on our health are deafness, loss of concentration, anxiety and tension.

Here we are mainly concerned about loss of concentration, which is highly essential to achieve any thing in our life. Now a day we are living in a society or world which is full of speed and busy with hectic activities. People are always o their heels.

We are totally forgetting that golden quotation: “Haste is waste”.

To overcome this confused and puzzled situations, we need plenty of relaxation and mental piece, which can be attained by practicing "Absolute silence".

Steps to be followed to attain the silence:

1. Make it a habit of spending at least ½ an hour lonely. During that half an hour period-

. Never talk to anybody,
ii. Don’t read or write anything,
iii. Don’t sit in front of TV and also not listen to radio programmers,
iv. Try to control your thoughts.

2. Sit calmly or lie-down on the bed.

That means your brain or mind should be in “neutral gear" position. In the beginning, you feel that you are almost in hell, as human mind behaves just like monkey. But remember one thing that you are preparing to fight a war, which is against yourself only.

This war is on –laziness, ignorance, stupidity and carelessness, etc, which are present in you. Silence is the beginning stage in this war.

Observe the sea, which is calm and quiet and at the same time with full of enthusiasm. Positive mentality helps us, to be like sea. With the help of that knowledge, which is obtained during the silence, helps us to know ourselves. We can overcome these difficulties very easily and also our abilities will be increased many fold.

Quote: Silence is a great doctor, a great guide and also is the way to lead us to self-bliss.

Art of growing up: 11 tips to learn

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:29:00 +0000

The word “UP” has a vital role to play in our daily life and also in our personality development.

1. Get up: Early in the morning with the determination to make most of your day, useful and also meaningful.

2. Stand up: To your problems and difficulties. Face them and lick them.

3. Think up: Keep your thoughts high, clean, clear and truthful.

4. Brace up: Tighten your belt and keep moving forward even when the going gets rough.

5. Climb up: The ladder of success reaches upward rung by rung, but you have to/must do the climbing.

6. Stretch out your hand: Remember that he climbs highest, who helps another up.

7. Measure up: Meet the challenge of the times by doing your full share for the common good.

8. Bounce up: when you fell down. Every one falls and falls now and then; quitters just lie there. Heroes have to bounce.

9. Live up: To the highest and best, the moral rules and spiritual principles you know.

10. Look up: Consider and observe a tree, how it lifts its branches to the sky. The only way to grow is to look up.

11. Hope up: You know it very well that, “Hope is life’’. So never get despair.

The golden word is, “Enthusiasm is oxygen to life and have plenty of enthusiastic living’’.

Please share your opinion.

8 Causes for unhappiness in life

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 12:13:00 +0000

Why some people are always unhappy while others face same problems with smile on their face. Cicero, a famous philosopher and statesman of yesteryears (2000B.c) belonging to Italy (Rome), enumerated the following causes for unhappiness, which holds well for ever.
8 weaknesses in the personality of unhappy people:

1. Dominating mentality:

Human in-born trait (may be weakness) is by suppressing others, we may achieve our goals and personally be benefitted. It is a wrong notion and of selfishness in nature. This type of thinking is merely an illusion and also we are building castles in air.

2. Un-necessarily worrying about the things or situations which we can’t change. It is a waste of time and energy also.

3. In-accurate estimation of our strengths and weaknesses and at certain times facing heavy losses during our career.

4.Many a time giving importance and evincing keen interest in petty things, which are of no use to us in any way.

5. Never trying sincerely to improve our mental power and not gaining maturity.

6. Always be under the impression that our views are only genuine and factual and also wishing that others also should give their consent to our beliefs.

7. Egoism: “I know everything and I need not other’s advice”. Ultimately such type of personalities will land in darkness and troubles.

8. Arguements: These types of people think that “arguing always pays and meekness is weakness”.

But what is the remedy? The surest and simplest way is: Applying commonsense depending upon the situations. But the pitiable thing is, as quoted by a noble personality- “commonsense is uncommon with the common people”.

Unhappiness leads to depression and is major cause for heart diseases. Unhappiness increases stress in daily life and it leads to lifestyle diseases. Try to identify the defects in you, by thoroughly examining yourself and sincerely rectify them.

Always keeping in mind others’ welfare and also wishing others to live like you. Ultimately you find happiness within your reach, without any shadow of doubt.

So no more tensions and no more worries not only in our lives but also in this world.

Meditation: Techniques and Health benefits

dr.nvkrishna@gmail.com (Dr. Krishna) — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 23:56:00 +0000

The human -body is a God’s given gift to us and also a wonderful creation in the entire universe. This body is and will be with us from birth to till we leave this mundane world. Our body is highly active both during our child-hood and in our youth-times, but becomes somewhat lazy in the adult-stage of life and becomes very dull in the old-age.

Moreover, there is a very close-relationship between our body and our mind. Our present life is highly hectic and always with busy schedules from 6 am to mid-night 12pm, with full of mental tension and without rest and recreation. We are not having right-food in right timings but filling our stomach with ready-made junk food materials which are not at all desirable and also not so conducive to our health.

That is why our younger generation is affected with number of ailments and diseases like-obesity, heart-attacks, hypertension and diabetes, etc.

Famous quotations:

‘’What is this life if full of care, but we have no to time to stand and stare”.

‘’Most of the times, we are busy without business” (at least 50% to60%) of us.

The solution is –‘’meditation”, a good remedy suggested by the ancient noble teachers of India, for example, Patanjali, who wrote the famous book, viz; “yoga sutra” (science of meditation).

Courtesy: Gelisy.

Benefits of Meditation:

Meditation helps to improve one’s physical and mental health. Regular meditation and Yoga are immensely beneficial especially for people who are always under constant stress.

1. It provides us with ample mental peace and immeasurable physical health.

2. Heart beats are perfect and regular during meditation.

3. Stress and strain will be removed with the help of endorphins, the natural mood-elevating hormones secreted within the brain, during meditation.

4. High blood pressure will be brought to normal levels.

5. More air is passed into the lungs which is highly beneficial in case of persons suffering from respiratory diseases like-emphysema, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and other breathing- problems, etc.

6. Your mind is well under your control and you will discharge your duties more efficiently with renewed strength and capacity.

7. Skin folds are easily getting vanished and weakness in the body will be felt no more.

8. Remembrance power in children is highly improved and there is vast improvement in personality development in the youth.

How to do Meditation:

1. Choose a place or room with pin-drop silence and also without too much sunlight or darkness.

2. Sit comfortably on a mattress or folded mat.

3. Keep the face in calm state and don’t tighten the cheeks. Close your eyes and never open them during meditation.

4. Keep your back (spine) in straight posture (without bending), and you feel no pain in the waist region, even if you sit for longer time in meditation.

5. Forget about your surroundings for a while and you will go to into trance within no time.

6. In the beginning, you may get different kinds of thoughts frequently, at that time keep go on uttering any word or name of your favorite God and continue this process for just five days only, after that you get no more thoughts.

7. In the initial stages, you fix a time for about 10 minutes to 30 minutes, to do meditation and later on you continue to do meditation as much time as possible.

8. After wards, you come over the feelings of angry, uneasiness, intolerance, sadness, discontent, etc.

9. Finally, you will be fully under the state of tranquility and you can do meditation without any discomfort, but with full of benefits.

Meditation and Yoga are the God’s gifts to mankind to lead happy life in stressful world.