What were they responding to? I had the thought that people were responding to the loss of someone with undeniable integrity. Here was a man who had a consistent and persistant message for years and years. He wasn’t angry or arrogant but outspoken and willing to educate anyone about the elements that were creating the current situation.

In a time when we are skeptical about our politicians and their motivations, Jack was a man we could trust. You might not like his politics or even the way he presented his message, but there was something that everyone recognized in him as being of value.

This was painted last summer and just yesterday – a week or so from the first day of Spring, someone pointed out that she had seen the graffiti “Trustache” that rhymes with Jack’s ever present moustache and read it differently. What she saw was TRUST ACHE and thought that the painting spoke to the “ache” that the voting population has for being able to TRUST our politicians and each other.

Some MBTI types use metaphor and even think in metaphor. This particular interpretation really touched me. Typically I say that I paint rather than call myself an artist, but having someone else see something deeper in your work is in the territory of art and what art contributes to the human experience.

It is such a challenge to step outside of our own perceptual filters. Imagine you are a parent who believes that your preference for Judging and providing structure and organization for your family will keep them safe and on track. This is your duty as a good parent – right?

Imagine you are the teenager in this family. You have a clear preference for Perceiving and prefer to go with the flow. The emphasis and value placed on a structured life that is the hallmark of your family seems restrictive and positively boring. You know you are really responsible and that your last minute style suits how you like to work.

The juggling act that is parenting teenagers has an extra wrinkle in this family dynamic with this difference in Judging and Perceiving. Hopefully understanding each others type will pave the way for compassion. The parent’s preference for Judging is not an intentional plot to squash the teenager’s spirit, and the teenager’s preference for letting life happen rather than planning ahead does not mean that they are doomed to failure.

There are some wonderful opportunities for growth in this relationship if both individuals can stay open to learning from each other.

This litany of complaints is felt to various degrees by many people but how and why we create this for ourselves differs from person to person.

Today I received this reminder form Riso and Hudson’s site.

Your Type Six EnneaThoughts for February 16th—

A major feature of your personality is to find more work for yourself as soon as the pressure lightens. Notice this tendency in yourself today. (Personality Types, 232)

I had to laugh. Well because it is true for the most part. My theory is that we become accustomed to a certain state in our bodies and the adrenaline that is generated from having something on my plate lets me know that I am alive. I love the energy of “Get’ er done!!!” Or at least that’s my warped thinking about how accomplishing tasks gives me energy and life purpose .

The flow of chemicals after a long walk in nature, laughing with friends, watching a sunset or snuggling under a blanket with some classical music and a fire is equally enlivening. The trick is to be at choice and not on auto-pilot.

How do you react to the child who clings to their parent’s leg or retreats into their “shell” at Hello? In an article posted at Time.com author Susan Cain extols us not to label quiet, sensitive children as “shy”. She claims that we categorize children into 2 camps “social” and “shy” and favour those who are more out-going.

Cain points out that the label “shy” is typically a misnomer given to Introverted children. They are more sensitive to external stimuli and they will hold back to take things in before engaging. This does not mean that they are anti-social but “differently social”.

She points out the benefits of how these children approach things.

Children with an alert, sensitive temperament also pay close attention to social cues and moral principles. By age 6, they cheat and break rules less than other kids do — even when they believe they won’t be caught. At 7, they’re more likely than their peers to be described by parents and caregivers as empathetic or conscientious.

Read the article on Time.com Susan Cain_ Don’t Call Introverted Children ‘Shy’ _ TIME Ideas _ TIME

No one can teach like someone who’s been there. Lisa Petrilli is a self-disclosed Introvert as well as an accomplished business woman who has run a $750 million business and negotiated pharmaceutical contracts with top global companies. In an article in the Harvard Business Review Petrelli talks about the contribution that learning strategies for networking made to her early success.

The only people that I have met that really love networking are people who run networking organizations and events. The truth is that many Extraverts find networking a challenge, but not in the same energy-draining way that Introverts might.

Petrilli’s top tips:

• Embrace having a preference for Introversion. She suggests that many Introverts in business see Introversion as something to overcome. Once a person embraces their natural inclination to spend time alone reflecting, they can refine their ideas and be prepared to make a powerful impact by what they have to contribute to the conversation.
• Petrilli has reframed networking from a large scale social onslaught to a series of one on one conversations. The benefits include creating better business relationships and being less drained by the experience.
• She suggests using Social Media or other ways of connecting to reach out ahead of an event to people who you know will be attending, telling them that you are looking forward to meeting them. This pre-introduction paves the way to making connecting more comfortable.
• If this way of pre- connecting isn’t possible, Petrilli suggests that it made a difference to her when she realized that if she took the initiative in introducing herself that others responded positively. She saw the benefit to her in reaching out first as doing this on her terms, as opposed to the whim of others.
• Her final piece of advice is to resist the temptation to go directly to the next  event or meeting. Taking a half an hour or so to recharge will allow you to be fully engaged in the next thing on your schedule. It will also help to keep  from building a negative story about networking being an energy drain.

Her final word…

Introverts who avoid networking are making a critical career mistake. Being an adroit networker is non-negotiable — and not as hard as it might seem.

The Power of Introverts_ A Manifesto for Quiet Brilliance_ Scientific American

I recently had the pleasure of introducing the Enneagram to a Grade Nine student. I was “cautiously optimistic” in my own very Sixish way that this would be something that would be of value to her. Remember back in high school and the minefield of relationships that that environment holds… projection on steroids. My hope was that understanding the Enneagram would shift things from a view that “somethings wrong with me or somethings wrong with them” to having an understanding of nine different worldviews. In that light different behaviour and beliefs makes sense.

One of the things that we used were Riso and Hudson’s Enneagram cards which were valuable in having a conversation about various aspects of personality, how we all process differently and levels of health in individuals. It was exciting to see someone curious, quick and open to learning and the difference it made in having the Enneagram explain what might be happening in the interactions between various types. Perhaps the halls won’t of the local high school won’t appear as much as a jungle when armed with a roadmap of the inhabitants.

Just in case you think that you are far far removed from how you reacted in high school… When was the last time that you were in a meeting or waiting at a service counter and thought that someone was out to yank your chain on purpose? Hmmmm…..

When you are working with personality assessments, you need to make sure that everyone understands the meaning of the terminology being used in this particular circumstance. As a general rule the terms used to describe personality types or traits are neutral and imply no preferred value.

According to the Reiss Motivation Profile “Vengeance” is the desire to get even with others, the need to strike back. Aggression in animals is an example of the evolutionary basis of vengeance. The emotions associated with vengeance are anger and hate. At a primal level high desire for vengeance is and “eye for an eye” view of life. Another way of looking at this is that these high vengeance people believe that “it’s up to you” and the best way to do things is to simply take charge and get things done. A word that could also be used to describe vengeance that is more palatable is competitive. This motivation can propel sports teams to victory or turn around a failing organization. However, we all know people who love to argue just for the sake of it. There is pleasure for them in pushing back, sparring and defending their position. They love to prove other people wrong. On the downside this is the territory of dictators and despots.

On the other side of the scale, at the low end of the scale, people who score low in “Vengeance” are agreeable and will turn the other cheek. There are some people who wouldn’t strike back even if their life was in danger. This type of person may find that others take advantage of them.

These traits do not go away. If we don’t find a positive, constructive way to get these needs met they will raise their heads in possibly ugly ways. Rather than judging a desire such as “Vengeance” as negative or troublesome design a way to to get this need met such as regular athletic competition. If this is a trait you recognize in others, can you see the positive contribution?

As a sidebar: This painting was part of a show of paintings that I did based on the Reiss. A man came into the gallery and as he was reading the list of 16 core motivators on the Reiss profile, he came to argue with me about Vengeance. He said that he didn’t believe in it as it wasn’t necessary. If anyone got in his way he just “dealt” with them. As he turned to see the artwork hanging in the show, this painting caught his eye and without knowing that it that represented “Vengeance”, he told me that he liked THIS one.

Each letter is made from quotes that capture the energy of “Vengeance” such as “If you aren’t the lead dog the scenery never changes.” I resisted the urge to say “Gotcha” (barely ).

The word “worry” occurred several times in reference to various aspects of their work… in not one but in two emails. This is territory that an Enneagram Six knows like the back of the hand.

The issue for Sixes is trust – trust in the exterior world and trust in self.

Mastery through practice is an antidote to worry and doubt.

Good advice no matter your type.

PS. Here’s a post I wrote in response to question in her second email. By the way I actually sometimes take my own advice. Do you take yours?

The Wake-Up
During a leadership workshop, exercise after exercise brought insights and an emotional connection awakening something within. At the very end of the 2 days an exercise gave this young woman feedback on just how many of her peers saw her as a leader.

The Surprise
The surprise to me is that this was news to this young woman. It had never crossed her mind because it wasn’t included in her title or job description. How delightful that she was finally seen for all that she is and for her potential. I wonder how this will affect her aspirations and the way she approaches her work. What will she want to do now considering this new information? Will questions of her own leadership stance arise for her?

A Possibility
Leading Full Circle is a two day multigenerational leadership program for women. Having women of all generations in mutual mentoring conversations provides more insight and inspiration than relying on a content driven curriculum. The 20 year olds in the spring program brought something special to everyone present – one of the participants referred to the hope for the future that she came away with from her interactions. At the same time the younger women were pleased to see that the questions that confronted them could be viewed as a source of growth and enlightenment. Seeing in the older women the fact that questions didn’t go away but changed tone and direction over time was reassuring and increased their willingness and capacity for asking the hard questions.