Perspicacious Girl

An icon for Mom

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 15:50:00 +0000

Mom needs an icon for her new twitter profile, but how to capture such essence in only a few pixels? Do you choose a nice photo? A funny one? Maybe just a symbol? I couldn't really decide, so it's time for a vote...pretty icon or viking icon? Is there an even better picture or idea I missed? Let me know in the comments.

Friday Vids

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 12:18:00 +0000

So it's Friday, the most unproductive of all days. Tantalizing dreams of sleeping in & playing hours of Mario Kart make it awfully hard to concentrate on the spreadsheet before me. Today this problem is only compounded by the fact I have a righteous St. Patty's Day party to go to tonight where I will defend my limerick champion title. Anyway, this is my round-a-bout way for saying here are a couple vids of remixed Disney classics to help you have an unproductive Friday too. :)

(Btw - I picked both of these up @ Laughing Squid)

Sunday Art

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 22:45:00 +0000

Having spent most of my youth in a Catholic school, I feel like I've developed a refined palette for enjoying religious art (as it were). I thoroughly enjoyed "Buddy Christ" from Dogma, and there's this gem of the Last Supper, but now I feel like some serious contenders for best Jesus-art have arisen.

Over at planetdan (very funny blog of I guy whose company I work with), he discovered a poster that captures the cool, modern side of Jesus. He's not just a guy who can rock sandals & long hair while still commanding authority. No, He's ready to take on the 21st century by donning a necktie, some pleated slacks, and a seriously old-school PC. Based on this image, I bet Jesus is still using AIM and has a handle like SONUVGOD3 or maybe J*STAR13.

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that Jesus is on twitter. Being omnipotent, He maintains several handles...@kingofthejews, @jesus_de_christ, @Jesus_Christ and @Jesus_.

Today, my sleep-deprived-while-working-at-a-nuclear-power-plant brother found a series of paintings by Joseph Griffith that I can only describe as hysterically (but thoughtfully) ludicrous.

Entitled "Happy Flight", this pretty much sums up what I'd like to do with an eternity in Heaven. "Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!" So now the question is, which is your favorite?

(Be sure to check out the other Joseph Griffith paintings too. My favorite, though not Jesus-related, is The Surrender).

Fizzizzle - That's With Two Z's

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:02:00 +0000

Upon my co-worker's recommendation I checked out urbandictionary.com...specifically his entry on the word "fizzizzle." I know the suburban white dude mentioned in the listing, and many more white dudes (for that matter) that all make poor use of words ending in "izzle."

I made my own entry...boshuda, but it was turned down by UD's editors 3x's. So for your enjoyment here's what the entry would have read.

boshuda

An exclamation of complete satiety that usually follows a large meal of American food high in fat and calories eg., Big Mac & fries.

Note: The deeper your vocal tone and the longer the u-sound is held, the more satiated you are indicating yourself to be.

Origin: Boshuda was the name of a bolstyngar from Star Wars, who was beaten in the Mid Rim Domesticated Sub-Sentient Show by a wilwog and subsequently ate the creature, thus stealing the award for Best in Show.

Leah: Omg, that cheeseburger was huge! I am so full!

Nick: Boshuda!

Raeann: Yeah, boshuuuuuuuda!

To show I'm not holding a grudge (for too long), here are a few other entries I found to be a bit magical:

Hulk Out: To become enraged; to lose one's temper, clothing and power of coherent speech before embarking on a spree of violence and wanton destruction. After the comic book character who turned from an unregarded geek into a thundering green mass of unstoppable fury. Note: I use this way too often now.

Make it Rain: When you're in da club with a stack, and you throw the money up in the air at the strippers. The effect is that it seems to be raining money.

Q.E.D: A Mathematician's way of saying "I win."

I love you too Liberian Girl

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 04:38:00 +0000

The other night I spent most of the evening watching Michael Jackson music videos on YouTube and lamenting the fall of the King of Pop. Thriller, Beat It, Smooth Criminal...masterful songs & videos that we're all familiar with. Yet during those productive years, even MJ was not immune to a complete video fail...enter Liberian Girl. While the video has absolutely nothing to do with the song, the cavalcade of 80's celebrities in this mugfest did inspire me to create some play-along action...LIBERIAN GIRL BINGO! Every time you spot a celebrity, cross them out. If you manage to spot them all you've done much better than I. Who the hell is Amy Irving anyway?

Watch the video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ethtD4R1kk (because some overprotective dork disabled embedding).

Btw - I pulled this list from wikipedia which I figure is as good a source as any for something like this. :)

Me on LinkedIn profile = tool.

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 22:51:00 +0000

Like a good little web gnome, awhile ago I wrote up a summary for my LinkedIn profile. I was aiming for a pithy paragraph that was equal parts self-effacing & confident and wouldn't leave my co-workers/boss wondering if I was delusional. With that in mind, here's what happened:

I'm a detail-oriented analyst with excellent technical skills ranging from writing Excel formulas to Photoshop to HTML. I enjoy innovation and managing projects that require versatility and a diverse skill set. Strengths include research, working in teams, project strategy and the ability to learn new skills or technologies quickly.

I apologize for leaving it posted to my profile as long as I did. The summary really is a vague corporate-jargon-dominated-inhuman representation of a cubicle-drone. No one reading it would have any idea why I'm different or more interesting than your average office jockey. Perhaps I'm not different or interesting, but I should be able to write like I'm one of the cool kids. Roughly...

Self-admitted, not-so-quiet geek who likes to use new technologies to solve old corporate problems: from aggregating business intelligence in a wiki to creating web animations for educating the masses on what happens to garbage. I'm passionate about using the web to investigate and understand markets I'm working in and as a tool to disseminate that information to a greater corporate audience. I'm addicted to problem-solving, be it technical or theoretical. Can't figure out which formula to use in Excel? Should we create a corporate blog? Which competitors matter to us? What do you mean my countertop isn't granite? I love it all. My favorite part is working for a company that has a mission to improve the world with it's existence. Car insurance companies need not apply.

Yeah, it needs some work.

Delinquent Blogger

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 02:28:00 +0000

Top 5 Reasons I don't blog more often:

Twitter: Microblogging perfectly delivers the whirling sense of accomplishment that accompanies online publishing without committing to an ENTIRE blog post. We millennials hardly have time for more than 140 characters...too busy going to yoga and uploading photos to flickr you know.
Mario Kart: I bought my husband MK for his birthday and have subsequently hogged all available Wii time to further my quest for a 3-star rating. If I could blog & play MK at the same time, I totally would.
OCD: I'm obsessed with putting together "perfect" posts. If a friend has a great photo of an event then I'll delay blogging just to include the perfect image. Months later, my drafted post has no relevance...Labor Day was really fun btw.
West Wing: I borrowed all 7 seasons from my parents and subsequently became an obsessive President Bartlett devotee. You'd be surprised how much time it takes to watch 7 seasons of the greatest presidency ever, even without commercials.
Computer avoidance/reality check: 8-10hrs every day in front of a dragging Windows machine can make hopping on a computer after hours abhorrent. I also feel it's important to check in with the offline world every so often. And by offline, I mean I pick up my latest fantasy novel and delve into a world of wizards & dragons. My nerdiness knows no bounds.

On the path out of blogging-neverdom, I will try to do away with at least a few of these obstacles...even if it means I have to play Mario Kart in all my waking hours to get that pesky 3-star rank out of the way.

(After) Christmas Card

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:21:00 +0000

Because I didn't want to spoil it for the lucky people getting one in the mail, I haven't posted anything about this year's Christmas card. This design was a last minute substitution. I had a whole other vibe going...green with a list of reasons why my husband & I live like we're in our 40's. It was funny, but not all that upbeat. So I went instead with the Polaroid look & some hot photos of my husband. Hands off ladies...the man in the straw hat is all mine. :o)

I also worked up a last minute photo for my parents card. For the 1st time ever, all 5 siblings & I went out for sushi in Excelsior. A few sake-bombs later we decided to try a sleigh ride in a big metal thing on the sidewalk. The photo was cute, but it required photoshopping to meet parental standards...removed 1 lip ring, 2 male earrings, 1 cigarette & replaced 1 face entirely. Not to bad on short notice.

Chicken Dinner & Recipe

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:57:00 +0000

One of the many reasons vacation is magic is that it affords me the time to cook something healthier & more delicious than tacos or PB&J. I took this recipe from the Barefoot Contessa & cut it in half to accommodate 1 wife & 1 excessively hungry husband.

One 3 lb-ish roasting whole (without giblets...eeew)
Kosher salt
ground black pepper
1/2 bunch of fresh thyme
1/2 lemon
1/2 head of garlic (cut head in half crosswise)
1 tbsp butter, melted
1/2 c chicken stock
2 tbsp all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Rinse the chicken inside and out. Pat the outside dry and place the chicken in a roasting pan. Liberally salt and pepper the inside of the chicken. Stuff the cavity with the thyme, lemon, & garlic. Brush the outside of the chicken with the butter and sprinkle again with salt and pepper. Tie the legs together with kitchen string and tuck the wing tips under the body of the chicken. Note - I looked around and couldn't find anywhere to buy kitchen string so I hit up the guy at the Byerly's meat counter who hooked me up.

Roast the chicken for 1 1/2 hours, or until the juices run clear when you cut between a leg and thigh. Remove to a platter and cover with aluminum foil while you make the gravy.

Remove all the fat from the bottom of the pan saving 2 tbsp in a small cup. Pour the chicken stock into a small saucepan. Scrape the bottom of the roasting pan gathering up the tasty little bits of brunt chicken and fat. Add the scrapings to the saucepan. Cook the stock and scrapings on high heat for about 5 minutes, until reduced. Strain out the scraping bits leaving the stock in the saucepan. Combine the 2 tbsp of chicken fat with the flour and add to the saucepan. Boil for a few minutes to cook the flour. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Now you can simply roast some asparagus or potatoes to serve on the side. I prefer asparagus as opposed to nasty-carbohydrate filled potatoes. :o) This recipe is generally way cheaper than buying a pre-made roast chicken and generally pretty easy. Now I just need to convince my husband that he can make it too.

Proposition 8: The Musical

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:13:00 +0000

This one goes out the musical-loving, right-wing supporting men in my life. Jesus clearly supports the separation of church and state, so let's keep your moral strictures out of my government.

PS. As a West Wing junky I'm thrilled to see Allison Janney...yeah CJ!

Frodo Saves Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 03:16:00 +0000

I put up my Christmas decorations today all while watching the less-than-Christmasy LOTR trilogy on TV. Then because I felt the need to be crafty, I tried my hand at making big ribbons. My crafty urges typically end in disaster, but tonight with only a small amount of blood shed due to the pokey wires in the ribbon, I turned out some nice looking bows. As a kid I would just show off my handiwork to my mom or dad, but they're much more likely to read my blog than come over these days. :o)

For a good time, add an 'e'

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:51:00 +0000

A co-worker of mine had the mundane experience of mistyping the Sears URL into his browser. What awaited him was an inexplicable photo of biblical proportions.

www.seears.com

My co-worker and I agreed, we want to party with these guys.

18hrs & An Unfortunate Jar

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:35:00 +0000

Just got back from a trip to the Netherlands for work. We were meeting in a town to the southwest of Amsterdam called Naarden. The town was picturesque...cobbled streets, interesting little shops & restaurants...it looked a lot like certain parts of Philly. Anyway, I flew about 18hrs for a 1 day meeting. Not sure what the postcard below has to do with this boring little anecdote, but a co-worker gave it to me right before I left. I suppose I'm closest to having my "dream job" as much as ever...

Election Night Fun with McCain

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 02:09:00 +0000

A special elderly visitor stopped by our place for a photo-op tonight. McCain does sort of resemble the Emperor doesn't he?

Who can resist an abandoned cardboard cutout found in our apartment building's rec room? Not my husband. Though it's funny to think someone gave up on their McCain paraphernalia already.

Come on...it's only October!

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 19:49:00 +0000

Seriously, all the leaves haven't even fallen off the trees yet and this is what we get? Who needs fall when we can just fast forward to blizzard conditions. Although, I wonder if this means the outdoor ice rinks can open soon...mmmmm, hockey. :o)

Politicking a Go-Go

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 13:00:00 +0000

Like many of my compatriots, I'm getting sick of political TV ads. So to keep our spirits up through November, here are some hilarious posters created by Mad Magazine that I found via Laughing Squid. These truly are political cartoons for millennials.

History of the Internet

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 01:40:00 +0000

Perhaps you've seen this link floating around. It's a site the tracks the history of internet memes.

http://www.dipity.com/user/tatercakes/timeline/Internet_Memes

For those who don't know:

A meme consists of any idea or behavior that can pass from one person to another by learning or imitation. Examples include thoughts, ideas, theories, gestures, practices, fashions, habits, songs, and dances. Memes propagate themselves and can move through the cultural sociosphere in a manner similar to the contagious behavior of a virus.

The history is awesome because it brings up references I've heard, but never understood because I was too busy playing hockey or something. Case in point, the peanut butter jelly bit.

Otherwise, look for the Discover Channel Boom-de-yada video or the story of how the first emoticon was created. It had never dawned on me there was an inventor of the emoticon. If that was me, I'd put an emoticon on my tombstone.

I'm a Barack

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:45:00 +0000

One day my dad and I (probably with some of my siblings) are going to start a new political party called the Franklinites. We're basically a party that is morally liberal and fiscally conservative. Example...let marriage be whatever works for people, but let's cull spending on "social" programs that promote dependence on the government. Until that delightful day when a third party becomes viable, it's time to vote for a competent candidate that isn't older than my grandparents.

A Slew of Books

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 03:00:00 +0000

Recently I've been knocking out a lot of books on my reading list. Here's a little synopsis of what I've read.

Great Expectations & Hard Times (Charles Dickens) - I worship Dickens. His writing is witty and poignant all while being simply an engaging storyteller. I was a bit disappointed with how Great Expectations ended. I spent so much time imbued in the characters' lives that the ending seemed short and unfulfilling. I'd hate to give the end away for all those people breathlessly awaiting a chance to read this book...so I'm not going to. :o) On an ironic note, while I was reading Great Expectations my bookmark was a lottery ticket. Let's hope I come into a lovely (lottery) inheritance just like Pip.

Water for Elephants (Sara Gruen) - This book is obviously quite popular right now. You can't get through the first 10ft of a Barnes & Noble without running into the book's display. I enjoyed it just like (I'm sure) hoards of book-club-going females.

My favorite portions of the books were as the main character described his experiences in "assisted living." While such a facility is meant to maintain a person's independence, it's really just an illusion. For example, choosing what to eat or when to raise your blinds. Those are all choices made by others and usually determined by what's convenient or efficient for the institution. It was an illuminating topic considering most of my grandparents have spent time in such place.

Pope Joan (Donna Cross) - Engaging and optimistic story that highlights a woman's ability to excel academically while being disguised as a man. Unfortunately it seems that the Catholic Church hasn't learned anything since the dark ages as women are still unallowed to be priests, practice birth control, and generally undermine familial stability unless they remain in the kitchen like the good sin-filled apple-eating temptresses they are. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

The Dive from Clausen's Pier (Ann Packer) - Disregarding any subtlety, this book blew chunks. Man dives off pier, breaks his neck and is paralyzed...fiancee runs away to New York for sex, fashion and no job because she can't handle the situation. While I believe the point of the book is to illuminate her struggle, show that "doing the right thing" is complicated, and to portray the consequences of running away...well, it was really weak. The runaway fiancee was immature, self-absorbed and generally annoying all while the book's pace was nerve-wrackingly slow. Blarg...I don't even want to write about it anymore. Definitely skip this book.

So after that last clunker I'm looking for something new. The next Eragon book should be out soon or maybe Oprah's latest pick: The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. Any thoughts?

My backup job...

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 01:24:00 +0000

I guess tomorrow there are going to be some big announcements at my company regarding a reorganization effort. I don't think there's a more hated word in cubicle culture than "reorganization". So just in case things go awry, I've found the job I want next.

Why I love Minnesota & The Daily Show

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 01:00:00 +0000

While I'm not the most devoted fan of the Daily Show, I feel like that tide might be turning. Why you ask? It's amazing how influential one billboard at the right time in the right place can influence your opinion.

This billboard appeared out on a major MN highway just days before the Republican National Convention kicked off in St. Paul. It's beautiful and gives me hope for the nation.

From B&C

A video for designers and office dwellers

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:22:00 +0000

I just recently returned from a business trip a bit frustrated by how humans seem to develop a complete incompetence for collaboration if put into an office conference room. I know I'm not alone in this feeling because someone made a hilariously accurate video about it.

Bachelor Food

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:30:00 +0000

This is what happens when we don't have a dinner plan. I find my husband eating cheesey-broccoli-flavored-noodle & deli chicken tacos. He's inventive with leftovers to say the least.

Selling an old truck...or how I bribed my husband to get it the hell out of here

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 12:00:00 +0000

It's really quite simple. I told my husband that if he sold this...

...he would get this...

And thus about a year after I made that promise, the old 88' Ram Charger (that at one point demolished a 14-pt buck on the road and now has a leaky gas tank) has finally been sold. My husband is now the proud new owner of his first iPod, an 80GB Classic. It's definitely a bit weird selling a car only to replace it with a tiny piece of electronic hardware.

Cabinny Goodness

noreply@blogger.com (p_girl) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:26:00 +0000

Another week back in my cubicle and the only way I know I experienced the northern lakey goodness of the cabin is by the giant bruises still on my quad from climbing into the pontoon without a ladder.

"Going up to the cabin" for those not originating from MN, refers to settling into a cabin of varying luxury on the shores of a lake somewhere in northern MN. Our particular cabin was at Bear Paw Resort outside of Park Rapids on Two Inlets lake. Activities include fishing, tubing (also known as riding "Big Mable"), reading large classical novels (might be just me) and eating copious amounts of frozen chocolate chip cookies.

Nearly every afternoon we took the pontoon (named "The Blue Dolphin" or "Something Epic" depending on who you asked) out and anchored it in the middle of the lake. We then spent the next several hours floating on life jackets & noodles while drinking, listening to classic rock and occasionally playing trackball (the Wal-Mart version of Jai Alai). If there's a heaven it might be just like that.

We took one day to celebrate my dad's graduation from Norwich University. In retirement, my dad decided to go back to school and get his Master's in Military History. My nerdiness clearly stems from the paternal genes. In addition to a lovely congratulatory poster and cake, my sister's boyfriend also gave my dad this fabulous Tinkerbell T-shirt and a matching towel. The t-shirt reads "All this and brains too." Perfect for a man who thinks a good time is a two-hour lecture on the finer points of the Monroe Doctrine (or something, history is not my strong point).

In years past, we'd usually take a day to hit up mini-golf at the World of Christmas. Since we've all gotten a little older, the big kids decided to forgo mini-golfing and hit a real course this year. Needless to say the day was filled with golfing epicness unparalleled at our particular latitude. The day was only made better by a confused old man riding around in a golf cart calling me Mindy and telling us hole 9 was flooded.

We also spent a considerable amount of time playing Bags. Bags is a nice name for a game involving throwing a beanbag through a hole in a piece of word. For the not-so-nice name, see the Wikipedia article on the game. Certain family members got so into the game, that at night they moved the boards inside to keep playing. I spent most of that time trying to take pictures of the beanbag in mid-flight.

Anyway, it was a fantastic trip. It was weird not working on a computer for a week, but thank goodness for BlackBerry.