http://pessimisticlove.com/rss.php Latest Pessimistic Love Stories en-us Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:16:03 MST Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:16:03 MST admin@pessimisticlove.com(steffan) admin@pessimisticlove.com(steffan) http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-88 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-88 Sat, 28 May 2011 20:56:10 -0600 My boyfriend and I dated for three months, which admittedly felt like a lot more at the time, so maybe we did take it too far....I don't know. Anyway, I am 14 (a freshman in high school) and he is 18 (a senior in high school). It sounds like a bigger age gap than it really is...I am only 14 but I believe that as long as you are right for each other, this doesn't matter. Apparently, the state government does not share this opinion. We were caught engaging in sexual activity (we did NOT have sex, nor did we plan on it) by a police officer. We were in his car. We were then taken to a police station with my parents and from then on, we were not allowed to date. We were not even allowed to speak to each other. I did speak to him on several occasions however, only once or twice in person. He was put on twelve month probation as well. His life was at risk, what was he supposed to do? He knows exactly what he wants to be, what he wants to do with his life. His admittance to his dream college would be revoked and he would never get to become a teacher (his dream) if someone saw the words "indecent sexual acts with a minor" on his record. So I understand why he acted the way he did. I really do. He sincerely tried to stay away from and get over me. He told me once when we spoke over facebook chat that it hurt him to lose the person who taught him how to love and who taught him compassion. Me. He always said that I taught him how to love. It was only three months, but it was enough. One month barely went by and we were already head over heels. Maybe three months really isn't enough time to really know someone. But we watched each other's every tendency with fascination. He tends to look at things from a realistic angle due to his history of family abuse, while I tend to think more romantically. I was the balance to his complete reliance on fact, as he was the balance to my weakness when it comes to love. However, I know today that it was taken away for a reason. Lately, things have been a bit odd. He's started to really move on. It has been two months and two days since that night. And, like I said, he tends to think in a less romantic way than I do. He is more realistic due to growing up in a home as abusive as his was. Anyway, he has definitely moved on. I am happy for him...but I can't help thinking it is a shame. I can't help hurting over it a little. I found out a few weeks ago that he has been spreading around that I am stalking him....I am not sure whether it is to make himself feel more important, to help himself get over it (which i guess was a pretty effective method), or because he really thinks that. Well, I'm not...so I think it's the second option. However, I'm going to keep telling myself that it is either the first or the third. Thinking of him as a terrible person is probably what's right for me. Otherwise, I'm still going to love him in five years. I found out the other day from my friend that he has a girlfriend now. She broke up with him last year, the day before valentine's day. This year, the day before valentine's day, keeping this in mind, I tried to reassure him about it, sure he was thinking about it...I think she was the first girl who was really important to him before me. And now they're together again. Only a month or so after that night. Which leads me to several questions....did he ever really love me? did he lie to me about being the one to teach him how to love? does he hate me now? It just makes me sick that you can be so in love with someone, so dependant on them, and a few months later just not care.... It makes me sick that he might have lied to me about everything. Maybe every single word out of his mouth was a lie...I remember every single thing he said to me. I remember every detail about himself he shared with me. And now, he is not acting like that person at all. Was I in love with who he was pretending to be? Or is the real him still in there? I don't know the answer to anything anymore. All I know is that three and a half months ago, I laid on this very bed with him, promising each other that we would never regret being in each others' lives. I'm not sure whether he lied. I'm not even sure if I lied. All I know is that at the time, neither of us were lying. Now I'm not sure. And he tried to make sure that no one told me about his new girlfriend. Apparently, everyone knew but me. Everyone says that I should already be over it, that I should move on already because it is just becoming sad. Everyone looks down on me. I have to keep pushing my thoughts down, afraid to let everyone down. In truth, I'm not that strong. Like I said, I tend to think romantically. All of my friends-hell, even people I barely know that are just involved with our group of friends- think that I am being pathetic and stalking him and I should be over it already. I think that they should put themselves in my shoes, try being loved and loving beyond what 14 year olds can usually do, beyond what many adults can do, and then tell me that I should be over it. I lost my ability to trust over this. He was the only person I ever really showed 50% of my true self to. The more crazy I let out, the better I felt. I slowly eased into it. I wanted to trust. And I wanted to trust HIM. I have never trusted a person more, not even myself...and now he hates me. This leads me to the conclusion that the more people know me, the less likely it is that they will stay with me. The more people know me, the more likely it is that they will abandon me. How do you trust after that? How do you love after that? Sorry if this was way too long a post, I just had to get it out. Botting it up is unhealthy. But if I tell any one of my friends, or just anyone in general, they will think that I am weak. I want everyone to know how strong I am. I want everyone to be proud of me. I can't let them know how I am really feeling, or they will just shake their heads at me judgmentally. My friends are all I have since I can't afford to rely on my family anymore. They are the real source of my trust issues, and I can't rely on them for anything. I've recently distanced myself from them (this school year especially) because I do not believe that I deserve to be hurt as much as they hurt me for the first 13 years of my life. My friends are my life. Without my friends, I am nothing. I am alone. Especially now that he's as good as dead to me. http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-87 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-87 Sun, 24 Apr 2011 08:06:28 -0600 I have had my first bestfriend just recently. I trusted her with my secrets and insecurities, and she trusted me. We got really close to the point where I couldn't see myself in the future without her. She was really sweet and caring and to save you the trouble, all that I could've ever wanted in a bestfriend. I had thought nothing was going to mess this up. There was one problem that december though, I started liking her. I was afraid I'd lose her because of awkwardness. that wasn't the only problem though. Being her bestfriend, she'd tell me who she liked too. I tend to be on the pessimistic side so you can only imagine what I went through. She'd talk about him everyday. He's hot, funny, talented.. stuff like that; and It's true. I wanted to give up on liking her but nobody understands me like she does. I kinda fell for her. I'd cry some nights when I couldn't take it. I had nobody to talk to. I know it isn't her fault though. It was mine for choosing to go through it. We sort of grew apart a few months ago. We tried to fix it and she asked that we not hide anything from each other anymore. I couldn't help it, she could tell i was hiding something. so I told her. That probably had to be the most selfish thing I've ever done in my life. what if i make it awkward for her to like the guy? To tell you the truth, they look good together. they have a lot of similarities. I just wish they had ended up together you know? so that she'd be happy and not worry about me. Because I think she deserves to be happy and I'm only weighing her down. this has been on my mind for months now ranting on a random website like this should give me peace. what do you guys think about my situation? I just need to hear from random people. by the way, she doesn't feel awkward talking or being near me. we're still bestfriends I'm happy about that. :) http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-86 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-86 Sun, 24 Apr 2011 07:51:26 -0600 I have had my first bestfriend just recently. I trusted her with my secrets and insecurities, and she trusted me. We got really close to the point where I couldn't see myself in the future without her. She was really sweet and caring and to save you the trouble, all that I could've ever wanted in a bestfriend. I had thought nothing was going to mess this up. There was one problem that december though, I started liking her. I was afraid I'd lose her because of awkwardness. that wasn't the only problem though. Being her bestfriend, she'd tell me who she liked too. I tend to be on the pessimistic side so you can only imagine what I went through. She'd talk about him everyday. He's hot, funny, talented.. stuff like that; and It's true. I wanted to give up on liking her but nobody understands me like she does. I kinda fell for her. I'd cry some nights when I couldn't take it. I had nobody to talk to. I know it isn't her fault though. It was mine for choosing to go through it. We sort of grew apart a few months ago. We tried to fix it and she asked that we not hide anything from each other anymore. I couldn't help it, she could tell i was hiding something. so I told her. That probably had to be the most selfish thing I've ever done in my life. what if i make it awkward for her to like the guy? To tell you the truth, they look good together. they have a lot of similarities. I just wish they had ended up together you know? so that she'd be happy and not worry about me. Because I think she deserves to be happy and I'm only weighing her down. this has been on my mind for months now ranting on a random website like this should give me peace. what do you guys think about my situation? I just need to hear from random people. by the way, she doesn't feel awkward talking or being near me. we're still bestfriends I'm happy about that. :) http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-85 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-85 Thu, 13 Jan 2011 21:13:35 -0700 LOVE: Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-84 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-84 Tue, 11 Jan 2011 18:04:13 -0700 My boyfriend needs to understand that when women are doing house chores and the like, we don't like to have to ask for help even if we really want help. It's not that we want you to read our minds. We should not have to ask and explicitly demand your help. This would make us seem really demanding, which we don't want to be. We don't ask for help with simple tasks because we are perfectly capable of accomplishing it on our own. When these small tasks pile up, we just spend a lot of time and energy finishing up chores, instead of spending time with you, doing things you want to do, or doing things we like when we're done with chores. Also, when you're helping out with a task, like planning or packing for a trip, remember that your help is not only facilitating the process, but you can make important contributions; sometimes one person's strengths is not enough! http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-82 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-82 Thu, 19 Aug 2010 11:11:15 -0600 When you kiss the person you are meant to be with, how should it feel? How would you know? Could you know it is the last person you will kiss? http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-81 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-81 Sun, 15 Aug 2010 04:31:43 -0600 My boyfriend plays World of Warcraft. He would play all day and all night if he could. I know that video games are something he enjoys doing, but it's really an addictive game. I've known relationships have broken because of it. I agree with the comment to a previous similar story that playing a video game at home is better than compromising time with me and time out drinking and partying with friend. However, sometimes I feel that spending time with me is a chore, or lost time away from playing. After we spend some time together, doing errands, dinner, or finished watching a movie, game time inevitably follows. It's as if he needs to make up lost time in the game for being with me. When he is out of town, or is physically kept away from his home computer, it's actually easier to have conversations with him because he's not distracted by the game. There is always compromise is any relationship. He is a great person in every other aspect. He makes me happy. Should I have to make compromises with a video game? Or am I just too demanding? http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-80 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-80 Mon, 15 Mar 2010 21:14:34 -0600 My first love story...one that ended not too long ago...approximately 3 months ago. Im a high school senior, and my family is quite dysfuncational. My stepdad is abusive and from the day that they were married (its been about 7 years now), I don't know how to love nor am I ever shown the example of how to love. I'm constantly crying and hurt. I always knew my family experience would hinder me from having a good relationship, but I never fully understood until now. My ex and I were together for over a year. When him and I first started dating in the middle of my junior year.. I kept a good distance. Just because I always have so much going on (i'm the school known over-achiever). And naturally I had to be safe because I knew well of how damaging love can be. But I've always dreamt of having prince charming coming to save the day and take me away from this place. We talked on the phone everynight and I would wait the entire day just to hear his voice. And I woud watch the clock minute by minute till the class ends and I get to see him. Over the summer he would come down to my workplace and eat lunch with me everyday. I would get a good morning text to wake up to. We would go swimming, since I can't swim he would carry me bridal style in the pool. we would kiss and he would give me piggy back rides. He was my first kiss. And it got to a point where we got pretty physical. I went to all of his family events and his family was like my family. His sister and I were pratically best friends. Little by little he broke down all the walls. And little by little he moved up on my priority list. My family and I fought serveral times over the boyfriend issue, the felt the time I spent on him I could have spent on more productive things. But I told them he was different., I told them that we loved each other. He promised me forever, said we'd always be together, said he'd never let go. He said I was his princess and he will one day come and save me. We made plans about our house and kids. We even named our kids. I spent every waking moment thinking about him. And whenever the painful fights in my family start I would think of how I still have him....and that just made everything okay. Before I knew it, I was head over heels in love with him. I would have literally died for him in a heart beat. I would have given an arm up for him. He was what my world revolved around. And he told me I was his only. But I didn't know how to love. It seemed that the more I loved him the more posessive I became. I was scared that he would slip away. He no longer showed that he cared about me. The last 4 months were of nothing but me wanting him to show that he loves me but him doing it only when I asked him to. But the more he backs away the more I wanted him back. Adding on to other things that were happening between us two that made me all the more irratable. He no longer wanted to do anything for me. He no longer made plans. But still he said he loved me. So I kept loving him...depending on him. I kept searching for the signs that he still cared. and whenever he does I would yell at him... the way that my parents yelled at each other. But I never did it out of meaness, I just wanted to know why he no longer cared. I guess I just didn't understand how to love someone the right way. In a way I broke my own heart. A little bit after our anniversary, drama started. He began hanging out a lot with this other girl who was having problems with her boyfriend. they smoked pot together. I was angry, because we both knew smoking weed was againist our beliefs. So I went to talk to the girl and no longer involving him in any more weed parties. I was respecful as I have been taught to be and how I've always been. But the girl went and told him that I made a big scene and was being a bitch towards her. He got really angry with me for it, and no matter how much I told him I didn't disrepectful her and everyone can wittness to that, he wouldn't believe me. at that time i didnt think much of it because i trusted him. Her and my ex's sister also planned operation break up me and my ex. trying to save our relationship I called his sister to apologize, i didnt even know what for but I knew we couldn't be togther unless his sister was no longer mad at me. fine...he broke up with me....over the phone....on a saturday night. Just to find out 2 weeks later him and the new girl are together. go figure right? No...my agony didn't end there. The new girl proceeded to complain about me to every single person who has ever came in contact with me. about how I need to get over it. about how I need to move on with my life. how i was weak and pathetic. about how I was "following them" because I'm around too ofte. well, I'm sorry that we have the same classes. about how she felt sorry for me because he told her I lived "in a bad family environment" she talked about how he said she was so much nicer than me. talked about my breakup story to everybody in the world because "people were looking at her like a bad person because they went out so soon after we broke up" once again my volnurability and weakness and heart break was open for the world to discuss. point fingers, make judgement calls. and all of a sudden my family secrets kept were revealed to the entire world to discuss. I can't even tell you how absolutely hurt I was. I've been hurt a lot in my life. I've been molested, abandoned, abused. But no hurt, nothing hurt me as deep as my ex did. My dream was completely crushed. Guess my prince changed his mind. This pain , the ache is eating me from the inside out even to this very day....as I see them kiss and cuddle everyday in class. I even hear about their sex life and their prom plans because...just so happens...his gf likes to talk about alot, everyday, all the time. I regret the mistakes I've made and I would give my life to be able to go back and change things. To have treated the situation better. but i can't. and it hurts. I don't think I want to be in another relationship. I can't trust myself. What if I become like my parents??? I have so much love to give but I was never taught how to love. I find myself incapable of opening up and expressing emotions now. Everything is all bottled up and drowned out in school work again. Maybe one day a guy will be patient and love me enough to catch me when I fall. But probably not. http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-79 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-79 Sat, 20 Feb 2010 12:00:03 -0700 . . . . Someday, when i informed my parents, to not be back a night, and i said to them that i planned to visit my grandfather's home , however, i got there, and saw a girl who attracted me, with her honey-eyes,beautiful face, nice body, and pinky lips. Immediately ,i felt in love with her, and i couldn't forget her, and time by time, she grew in my mind. She was so thrilled. And by the way , when we saw each other after a month, for the second time, when we talked for each other, we felt that we were lived in sad, because the speeches between us realized that rhe was in problem with her husband and knowing this which was a marriage had taken place, i cried with all my sobs, . . .it will be continued. . . ..this is a real one happened to mine. Azad from kalar http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-78 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-78 Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:26:22 -0700 I've been dating this guy since December 2008. Everything was going swell until we were going through bumps with an up and down relationship. We were constantly breaking up and getting back together 3 times in a row. So finally by September we called it quits. We would just stay friends. But since then, we've still been holding hands, hugging, kissing each other and such. All our friends ask why we're not dating. Some even think we're "secretly" dating. I don't know how to reply, I'm just waiting for his response. I've talked to his friends about this and they all say he still likes me. But what is he waiting for? Am I just wasting my time? Should I just leave him hanging like this and move on with my life? Or should I hold on for my dear little life for him? I truly love him. I've never felt so crushed and broken when someone dumped me before. I don't know what to do. What do I say? How do I act? http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-77 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-77 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:01:36 -0700 I had been dating who I thought would be my high school sweet heart for 2 years. During this time, we went to different colleges but I had trusted him whole-heartedly. He was constantly surrounded by female friends, most from my high school but I had put trust first in him and in my friends. Not until a little after our two years anniversary I found out he had been cheating on me with one of my closest friend who goes to that school and been continuing lying to me about it blaming me for paranoia and everything. http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-76 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-76 Thu, 29 Oct 2009 09:19:53 -0600 I like this guy, and I assumed he liked me because he'd ask me questions about my ex-boyfriend, he commented that I'm "cute" and when we talked about clothing, he asked me my size. We've gone out for dinner, lunch, and even went to a store in the city (about 30 miles from where we live). We've worked on artwork together, and I've been to his studio, just to hang out and chat of course. But I'm not sure if he's interested in me, because I'd like to pursue more than a friendship with him. How can I move beyond that? Or should I just give up? I feel like I am assuming everything, and I can't read the "signs." http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-75 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-75 Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:32:52 -0600 Today my fiance and I went to the courthouse to apply for our marriage license and certificate . We pay the $51 and leave happy. As we are getting into our car we notice the parking ticket that was left on the windshield. We were 10 minutes late getting back to the car because the lady at the desk wanted to talk to us about the wedding. meter expired. http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-74 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-74 Sun, 02 Aug 2009 18:52:19 -0600 My boyfriend plays WoW all of the time. I know that's a common game that's addictive and people play a lot but there are other things out there too. I'm not sure how to encourage him to do more stuff with me. It's not that I don't think he should do his own thing, it's just playing computer games seems like a waste of time and not a real hobby. Any suggestions? http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-73 http://pessimisticlove.com/pessimistic-love-story-number-73 Thu, 23 Jul 2009 11:27:36 -0600 It was one of those hot summer days. I was sitting at my desk studying. My shirtless boyfriend came up behind me and gave me a hug. How romantic, you say? Well he had consequently rubbed his sweat all over my shirt; I had just showered a few minutes earlier. Now I, too, smell like his B.O.