Petchy's Flabfight

Wednesday = weigh day, but no time to post!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 08:51:00 +0000

Looks like wednesdays are the ideal day for actually weighing in, but not for finding time to post about it! Nonetheless, a few days late, I declare a 0.5kg loss this week, which takes me JUST into the magic 60s! Yay!

Start weight: 85 kg / 187.4 lbs
Current weight: 69.9 kg / 154.1 lbs
Goal weight: 55 kg / 121 lbs

Last 2 weeks: - 0.5 kg / 1.1 lbs
Total loss: 15.1 kg / 33.3 lbs
Left to lose: 14.9 kg / 32.7 lbs

Also: yet another 2 cm off my waist, making a total of 7 cms now.

Food: Felt mostly "normal" around food. Had a couple of "moments" but managed to stop myself. Also managed to have a treat without the guilty feeling afterwards. HUGE step for me!

Exercise: Been a bit crap at running lately, must go for a run after the weekend! Have upped my weights again, and am feeling stronger!

Wednesday = weighday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 07:20:00 +0000

A good two weeks, both food and exercise wise – and with results to boot:

Start weight: 85 kg / 187.4 lbs
Current weight: 70.4 kg / 158.5 lbs
Goal weight: 55 kg / 121 lbs

Last 2 weeks: - 1.5 kg / 3.3 lbs
Total loss: 14.6 kg / 32.2 lbs
Left to lose: 15.4 kg / 34.1 lbs

Also: another 2 cm off my waist, making a total of 5 cms now.

Yay!

Food: Felt "normal" around food. Not bingeing, and not feeling guilty about the odd treat. This is perhaps the biggest achievement of the past two weeks!

Exercise: Finally feeling "at home" in the weights room, and really enjoying it! Have upped my weights too, and had a monster training session on Monday, complete with total endorphine high.

Hah! Nail polish ninja!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 22:44:00 +0000

I am convinced wearing nail polish has a direct impact on stamina. Especially when matched to your sports bra.

This free weights malarky? It's pretty addictive, huh? Why didn't anyone tell me?! A week in and I am bloody LOVING it! I need tips though, so feel free to chip in with advice. One of the instructors at the gym recommended me a full body routine to start off with, as opposed to doing split sets - but a week in and I can see I will probably get bored with the repetitiveness if I am to do only this for 2 months, like she told me to. I know myself only too well. What she has me doing now are (my current load in brackets, she didn't say how much to put on so am just testing things):

Leg press, machine: 3 x 12 (100 kg - can definitely up it a notch next time)
Lunges 3 x 12 (with 10 kg weights in each hand)
Seated row 3 x 8 (just moved up to 41 kg today)
Bench press 3 x 8 (25 kg)
Dumbbell incline bench press 3 x 8 (7 kg dumbbells)
Side raises 3 x 8 (4 kg dumbbells)
Tricep rope pulldown 3 x 12 (18 kg)
Bicep curls 3 x 8 (7 kg dumbbells)
Crunches (As many as I have time to do before I have to dash, usually around 50 ish)
The plank (we do this 3 x 1 minute every day at work anyway)

So yeah, I need tips! Has she given me an OK routine for starters, or can it be improved on? If so, how? I mean, where are all these squats people rave about? Should I even be doing them as a beginner?

HELP!

Also, another observation: Monday afternoons are not a good time to go to the gym, as it is jam packed. I realised I was gonna have to do more hanging around waiting to take my turn, than any actual exercise. Solution - did only the major things (leg press, bench press, seated row) in the gym, went out for a quick run, and then used my dumbbells at home to complete the other exercises.

Valentine's treat: pink fluff

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 21:23:00 +0000

How good does this look? And it's pink!

Time for a healthy treat! Easy peasy: Beat one egg white until it forms stiff peaks, add stevia (or other sweetener) to taste, 50 g of frozen blueberries and 50 g of frozen raspberries, continue to beat on high until the berries break up and it's all pink and fluffy. If your food mixer has a splash guard - use it! The frozen berries want to fly everywhere in the beginning.

Eat like it is or treat yourself to a couple of chopped squares of dark choccy on top. I did the latter today - it is valentine's day, after all!

Without choccy on top: 60 kcal (yes, really!)
With 10 g of chopped dark choccy on top: 115 kcal

Enjoy!

PS: Eggs in Norway are 100% safe with regards to salmonella - therefore it is totally OK to eat raw eggs here. But please don't hold me accountable if the egg standard in your country turns out to be different...

Wednesday = weigh-day

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 13:53:00 +0000

It seems I am rubbish at updating these days. I did however, weigh in yesterday. And here are the results from wednesday's jury: I'm a metric girl, so my milestones are mainly in kg, but my inner imperial girl wholeheartedly welcomes the 150s!

Start weight: 85 kg / 187.4 lbs
Current weight: 71.9 kg / 158.5 lbs
Goal weight: 55 kg / 121 lbs

This week: - 1.1 kg / 2.4 lbs
Total loss: 13.1 kg / 28.9 lbs
Left to lose: 16.9 kg / 37.4 lbs

Whoop!

This week I have also faced my irrational fear of the free weights section at the gym, I have had one of the instructors set up a beginner's program for me, and today is the day where I venture in there alone for the first time. My entire body still aches from the session day before yesterday, but despite that I am still looking forward to today's session. What is it they say? "Pain is fear leaving the body"?

Not Nutella

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 21:28:00 +0000

What if...

What if there was a chocolate spread, that was both ridiculously tasty and healthy?

Guess what? There is! And it's easy to make: Take one ripe avocado, a few drops of stevia, a pinch of salt and a tablespoon of cocoa powder. Blitz. Eat.

Shown here on a toasted slice of low-carb bread from my local bakery. Soooooo gooooood!

Ah, that's better!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 08:16:00 +0000

Could not resist stepping on the scales again today - and the .5 kg were back off. Yay! Just goes to show that I must try not to get demotivated by daily fluctuations.

Wednesday = weigh-day

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 19:39:00 +0000

Start weight: 85 kg / 187.4 lbs
Current weight: 73 kg / 160.9 lbs
Goal weight: 55 kg / 121 lbs

This week: + 0.5 kg / 1.1 lbs
Total loss: 12 kg / 26.5 lbs
Left to lose: 18 kg / 39.5 lbs

Bah. Nothing is more demotivating than a gain, however small. Up 0.5 kg from last week, and no one to blame but myself. My eating could have been better. I guess I am proof that a calorie isn't a calorie: have kept between 1400-1700 cals a day, but have had a higher than ideal carb intake. And most of those carbs were eaten to fill a need other than physical hunger.

I could of course stick my head in the sand and tell myself that the gain was due to any number of external factors... ovulation, water retention, muscle gain from lifting heavy at the gym. It may well be true too, but nonetheless - it has kept me on my toes and made me realise that I need to stay focused!

Time then, to focus on something positive instead: I may have gained back a pound – but I have shrunk during the course of the month. A total of 12 cm if I add it all up! 3 cm off my waist, wooooooohoooo!

• • •

MONTHLY MEASUREMENTS:

Upper arms: 32.5 cm (- 0.5 cm)
Chest: 99 cm (- 3 cm)
Waist: 86 cm (- 3 cm)
Hips: 99 cm (- 3 cm)
Thighs: 60 cm (- 1 cm)

• • •

The next few days will bring some challenges: Friday is R's 7th birthday, meaning today, tomorrow and Friday will leave me with next to no time to exercise. Today I had to take R to footie, tomorrow I have to shop and bake and stuff (at least I will have to walk to the shop and haul heavy stuff back), and Friday afternoon is R's party, when our house will be invaded by ten 6- and 7-year old boys. That ought to be exercise enough in itself, eh? I have decided I will have a slice of cake, but will try to stick to just the one. I'm hoping to get an hour in at the gym tomorrow, inbetween the school run and the cake-baking marathon, as R is going to a friend's house for a couple of hours.

Right, I'm shattered - time for chillin' and a nice latte (oh, how I love my espresso machine!) before bedtime!

Observations at the gym

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 13:50:00 +0000

Random silly pic, with no relevance whatsoever. In a snarky mood today, and spent some time people-watching whilst working out. Here are my observations and random musings:

90% of the "skinny-fat" people in the gym today, were only there to hang out, not to work out.
Skinny does not necessarily equal fit.
Just sitting on the machines, sipping water, then getting off... is rather pointless.
My one 110% effort hour in the gym, beats your three ineffective hours, surely? Unless your aim is purely to exercise your jaw muscles and look at yourself in the mirror.
I'd rather do an exercise controlled, correctly and with good form than trying to impress the person next to me by piling on weights and having to lift fast and furious just to get through my set.
My guess is, lifting 18 kg on the leg press 12 times does not really have much effect, seeing as your legs normally carry several times that weight every time you get off your arse. Besides, my 7-year old can lift 100 kg with ease, and did 109 kg today - which is 4 times his body weight. So umm, yeah.

Wednesday = weigh-day

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 07:56:00 +0000

Start weight: 85 kg / 187 lbs
Current weight: 72.5 kg / 161 lbs
Goal weight: 55 kg / 121 lbs

This week: – 0.7 kg / 1.5 lbs
Total loss: 12.5 kg / 27.5 lbs
Left to lose: 17.5 kg / 38.5 lbs

• • •

No, I didn't disappear again. I just got struck down with a bad cold and had a crappy week, forgot about weighing in, had no chance of exercising (unless intense coughing counts as exercise?), and generally just didn't pay much attention to food choices. Braved it into the gym again last Friday, and managed a run on Monday, so it feels like I am back on track! Still have a lingering and annoying cough, but otherwise feeling better!

Cardio, weights, steam sauna...

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 22:12:00 +0000

This here is my view from my living room window, and the building you see there is where my gym is located. Can't get more convenient than that, eh?

The building also happens to house Atlanterhavsbadet (Pool & Spa), with all its fab facilities: "normal" pool, play pool with wave machine, water slide, heated therapy pool, jacuzzi, steam sauna, Finnish sauna, Hot & Cold pool, outdoor hot tub... And it just so happens that all gym members get full access to these facilities as part of the membership. Sweet!

This is great on so many levels – one being that I can bribe R to come with me and wait for an hour while I work out, by promising him an hour of splashing around afterwards. I got him a yearly pass to the pool, so it's great value too. The other great perk is that if I happen to have a couple of child free hours, I can work out and then chill in the spa area afterwards. Ant that... is what I did today!

I had a great workout today and was knackered afterwards. 50 Shades of Grey has nothing against my 50 shades of RED. I went from light pink to deep crimson all in the space of one hour! So imagine the total bliss of sitting in the steam sauna, before heading out into the outdoor hot tub. -5°C in the air and 38°C in the tub – love it!

Wednesday = weighday

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 16:29:00 +0000

Start weight: 85 kg / 187 lbs
Current weight: 73.2 kg / 161 lbs
Goal weight: 55 kg / 121 lbs

This week: – 1.2 kg / 2.6 lbs
Total loss: 11.8 kg / 26 lbs
Left to lose: 18.2 kg / 40 lbs

• • •

So, where to start? All in all a good week. I felt on top of things, despite being busy at work and being on the go all day Friday for a job related trip to Oslo. Made good food choices all day (normally I would have used a business trip as a brilliant excuse for fast food and grazing on chocolate all day) – and that felt good. In fact, I felt in control food-wise most of the week, which is kinda unusual. Writing about and facing my eating disorder has been hugely therapeutic, as have the kind comments both on here and Twitter. I've not dared share on Facebook yet, somehow the thought of exposing my soul on there seems scarier.

I can feel the positive effects of exercise, especially on my energy levels and my mood. Have had a nice mix between running outdoors and going to the gym. Quick recap: Wednesday: Re-joined the gym and did a cardio + weights session.

Thursday: Went for a run after work.
Friday: No exercise (business trip all day).
Saturday: Cardio + weights at the gym, followed by a chilled out hour in the pool. Sunday: 4 x 4 intervals at the race track, followed by a short hike.
Monday: Went for a run after work. Interval style due to the hilly terrain and my lack of stamina.
Tuesday: No exercise.

Got on the scales this morning to see a loss of 1.2kg/2.6lbs. Did a little happy-dance and had a "yesssssss!!!" moment.

Facing my eating disorder

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 22:39:00 +0000

This is the post in which I summon up the courage to admit openly to myself and everyone else that yes – I do have an eating disorder.

It's not easy for me to write about this, but I believe it will help me move forward. As always, your comments are welcomed and appreciated. Please be kind.

I am not anorectic, and I am not bulimic - though I have been pretty close to the B word. There have been times – not just once or twice, but several times – that I have strongly considered purging after a massive binge. I have been so close that I have been bent over the loo, fingers in throat, gagging – but ultimately unable to vomit. What stopped me? I guess I thought "as long as I don't vomit, I don't have an eating disorder". Because I don't want to have an eating disorder, I mean; who the hell does? But the truth of the matter is, whether I puke or not, I cannot remember a time in my life that I have had a normal relationship with food. I am a compulsive overeater. Emotional eater. Binge eater. Food addict. Call it what you like, this monster within has as many names as it has ugly heads. I'm hoping that, like most trolls, this one too will explode when exposed to light.

Let's pause for a minute. Yes; this means that right from early childhood I've been pretty messed up about food. I'm 32 now, so that makes it quite a few years. The photo above is me as a young child, happy and blissfully unaware about what the future would hold. Oh, I long to be that carefree again!

So when did it all begin? It's hard to pinpoint an exact moment, but I have a pretty good idea about what triggered it. I was a chubby child, and once I reached school age I was badly bullied for it. It lasted throughout my primary- and secondary school years; at least nine years altogether. And it wasn't just my peers; let's just say there are teachers who should feel rather guilty if they read this too. I won't even begin to go into what exactly that kind of experience can do to a child. I was a complete Billy-no-mates with self esteem so low that even I myself trampled on it – and so I turned to food and books. They were my friends: They never let me down. I could always rely on them for comfort and a brief escape from the outside world. If I didn't have my nose in a book, I had it in the fridge. Or the kitchen cupboards. Two things came from this: I got great grades. And I got fat. And then I was bullied some more.

I remember coming home from school, crying and feeling totally worthless. If I was home alone, I'd raid the cupboards for something, anything, to stuff in my mouth. Bisquits, raisins, sugar straight from the pack... I'd do this mindlessly, not even registering the taste of what I was eating. Anything to numb the bad feelings.

As the years have gone by, I have continued my secret eating. I guess I got pretty good at hiding it after a while. I guess I still am pretty good at hiding it. At 16 I left school, started college, made friends. But still... I ate. I moved abroad, started uni, made even more friends. But still... I ate. Still these feelings of being worthless. Still the need for food to quieten the inner troll telling me I was not good enough and never would be.

It has gotten better. I don't walk around every day feeling worthless, but there are days where I do, even to this date. And my erratic eating has continued. Sometimes better, sometimes worse - but always there somehow, niggling. Even during good periods it's like a shadow I can just see out of the corner of my eye.

"Ooooh, go on! You know you want me. We've been such good friends for years, you can't just forget about me now. Go on, just one piece of that choccy... oooh, and just one more. Oh, you may as well just finish what you've started now, you fat pig."

Most of the time I actually eat quite healthily. I'm not stupid; I know which foods are good for me and which aren't. I cook my own food from scratch, I have a great knowledge of food's nutritional value, which foods contain which vitamins and minerals and what health benefits these have. My problem is, I just can't help myself. It's as if I am on auto pilot, coming to my senses only after the whole tub of ice cream is gone. Then: guilt. Of course.

Like most emotional overeaters, I struggle with feelings of guilt, shame and disgust, and beat myself up for my lack of self-control. I hide food and eat it in secret, so that other's won't see. I also have a rather skewed body image. The numbers tell me I am about 20 kg overweight. The mirror tells me I am at least 50 kg overweight. I have done a pretty good job of convincing myself that I am unattractive and unlovable.

But these days I have a great life. I have fantastic friends, a great job. People tell me I am good at what I do. So why do I still end up overeating? I should be happy and content, right? Right now I guess it boils down to a combination of old habits... and the fact that 14-year old insecure me is still very much alive under the surface and, despite my attempts at locking her in her room, occasionally comes out to say "hi". Heard this story of the teacher who taught her class about the effects of bullying by using a sheet of paper and asking her students to trample on it? It's so true; those creases will never completely go away. The scars are there, they have certainly faded, but they will never quite disappear.

And now I am taking what is a massive leap forward for me. Admitting to myself that I have an eating disorder is huge. Admitting it to the world is even bigger. Yet, I feel the time is right – I am at a point in my life where I feel secure enough to begin thinking about letting go of my safety line. When I say begin, I mean just that. It's gonna take a while, this. But for now, it simply means I am allowing myself to become aware of when I am overeating and what triggered it. I am taking the time to reflect, either before, during or after. I am beginning to break the spell of the autopilot eating, giving myself the opportunity to take charge and make conscious decisions about what and how much to eat and when to stop.

It feels scary. But mostly, it feels good.

Spiseforstyrrelsen og meg

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 21:54:00 +0000

[English version here]

Dette er altså det innlegget hvor jeg «kvinner» meg skikkelig opp og innrømmer overfor meg selv og omverdenen at jeg har en spiseforstyrrelse.

Dette var ikke et lett innlegg å skrive, men jeg tror det vil hjelpe meg på veien videre, så here goes.

Jeg er verken anorektiker eller bulimiker – men når sant skal sies, har jeg tidvis vært temmelig nær B-ordet. Flere ganger opp igjennom livet har jeg seriøst vurdert å kaste opp etter å ha overspist Jeg har vært så nær at jeg har stått bøyd over doskåla med fingrene i halsen – men jeg klarte til syvende og sist aldri å spy. Hva var det som stoppet meg alle de gangene? Jeg tror det var tanken på at «så lenge jeg ikke spyr, så er det ikke en spiseforstyrrelse». Ren fornektelse, altså. For jeg ville jo ikke ha en spiseforstyrrelse; jeg mener, hvem pokker vil vel det? Men sannheten er at enten jeg spyr eller ei, så har jeg aldri hatt et sunt og normalt forhold til mat.

Jeg er en såkalt compulsive overeater. Trøstespiser. Matavhengig. Overspiser. Kall det hva du vil; dette er et troll med like mange navn som det har hoder. Jeg håper at det, som troll flest, vil sprekke når det kommer ut i lyset.

Helt ifra tidlig barndom har jeg altså hatt et rimelig katastrofalt forhold til mat. Jeg er 32 nå, så det begynner å bli noen år etterhvert. Bildet over er av meg som liten, lykkelig uvitende om hva framtiden hadde i vente. Åh, enn å kunne være så ubekymret igjen!

Så, når var det egentlig det begynte? Det er ikke så lett å sette fingeren på akkurat når, men jeg har rimelig grei peiling på hva som satte det hele i gang. Jeg var et lubbent barn, og ble mobbet for dette gjennom hele barne- og ungdomsskolen. Ikke var det bare andre skolebarn som gjorde livet til et sant helvete – enkelte lærere burde nok også gå i seg selv litt dersom de leser dette. Jeg trenger vel ikke å gå i detaljer om hva slike opplevelser over lang tid kan gjøre med psyken til et barn. Jeg var en Viggo Venneløs, med selvtilliten så langt nede på bunn at til og med jeg selv tråkket den enda lengre ned i gjørma. Veien var kort derfra til mat og bøker. De ble på et vis vennene mine; de skuffet aldri. De var alltid der, de trøstet meg og lot meg unnslippe utenverdenen en stakket stund. Hadde jeg ikke nesa i en bok, så hadde jeg den i kjøleskapet. Eller i kjøkkenskapene. Dette førte til to ting: Jeg gjorde det veldig bra på skolen, rent faglig sett. Og jeg ble feit. Og så ble jeg mobbet enda litt mer.

Jeg husker at jeg pleide å komme gråtende hjem fra skolen mang en dag, med en følelse av at jeg var totalt verdiløs. Hvis jeg kom hjem til tomt hus, raidet jeg kjøkkenskapene og åt det meste av det jeg kom over. Desperat etter noe, hvasomhelst, å putte i munnen. Kjeks, rosiner, sukker rett fra pakken... helt desperat, uten å ense smaken på det jeg spiste. Hva som helst for å skyve de ubehagelige følelsene vekk.

Etterhvert som årene gikk fortsatte snikspisingen. Jeg ble nok temmelig flink til å skjule det etterhvert. Jeg er nok fremdeles temmelig god til å skjule det. Da jeg var 16 flyttet jeg på hybel til nærmeste by for å gå på videregående. For første gang følte jeg at jeg fikk venner. Men fremdeles fortsatte jeg spisingen. Så flyttet jeg utenlands, for å studere. Fikk enda flere nye venner. Men fremdeles fortsatte jeg. Fremdeles kom følelsen av å være verdiløs. Fremdeles brukte jeg mat for å få det indre trollet, som sa at jeg aldri kom til å bli god nok, til å holde kjeft.

Det har blitt bedre. Jeg går ikke rundt hver dag og føler meg verdiløs, men noen dager gjør jeg det. Selv nå. Og mitt anstrengte forhold til mat har fortsatt. Det går i perioder; av og til bedre, av og til verre – men det ligger alltid der. En slags skygge der ute i øyekroken. Den hvisker:

«Åh, kom igjen da... du vet du vil ha meg! Vi har vært venner i årevis, du kan ikke forlate meg nå. Kom igjen, bare én bit av den sjokoladen... og én til... Hah, nå kan du like gjerne spise opp resten, din feite merr!»

Størstedelen av tida spiser jeg faktisk ganske så sunt. Jeg er da ikke dum: jeg vet hvilken mat som er bra for meg, hvilken som ikke er det, og hvor mye mat man bør spise. Jeg lager maten selv, fra scratch, og har etterhvert blitt en racer på å vite næringsinnholdet i mat. Hvilke matvarer som inneholder hvilke vitaminer og mineraler og hvorfor akkurat dét er sunt. Mitt problem er at jeg rett og slett ikke klarer å la være å spise. Jeg går på autopilot, og kommer først til meg selv etter at halve kjekspakken eller hele kartongen med Ben & Jerry's er oppspist. Så kommer skyldfølelsen og skammen.

Som de fleste overspisere sliter jeg med skam, dårlig samvittighet, selvforakt og avsky for meg selv og min mangel på viljestyrke. Jeg handler «trøstemat» i skjul og spiser den når ingen ser på. Jeg har også et heller skakkjørt kroppsbilde. Badevekten sier meg at jeg er ca 20 kg overvektig, mens speilet sier minst 50. Jeg har i årenes løp blitt innmari flink til å overbevise meg selv om at jeg er feit, stygg og ikke fortjener å bli elsket.

Men nå har jeg jo et flott liv. Herlige venner, en jobb jeg elsker. Folk sier jeg er dyktig i jobben min. Så hvorfor overspiser jeg enda? Akkurat nå tror jeg det er en kombinasjon av gammel vane... og det faktum at den 14 år gamle versjonen av meg fremdeles eksisterer under overflaten. Jeg prøver å låse henne inne, men hun finner av og til veien ut. Har du lest denne historien om en lærer som brukte et papirark for å lære klassen sin om hva mobbing gjør med de som utsettes for det? Det er så sant; det sammenkrøllete arket vil aldri kunne bli helt glatt igjen. Arrene blekner, men forsvinner aldri.

Og nå tar jeg et gedigent steg framover. Å innrømme overfor meg selv at jeg har en spiseforstyrrelse er... skummelt. Å oute meg til hele verden er enda skumlere. Samtidig kjennes det riktig, jeg tror tiden er inne. Nå er jeg på et sted i livet der jeg føler meg trygg nok på meg selv til å begynne å tenke på å slippe taket i livbøyen. Dette kommer til å ta tid, men jeg har i alle fall begynt. Jeg har begynt å skru av autopiloten og bli bevisst på når jeg overspiser og hva som har utløst det. Jeg har begynt å gi meg selv muligheten til å reflektere og ta kontroll over hva og hvor mye jeg spiser, og når jeg skal stoppe. Av og til klarer jeg til og med å stoppe før jeg har puttet noe i munnen. Dét er framgang, det.

Dette er skummelt. Men det kjennes godt.

4 x 4 intervals: check.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 22:00:00 +0000

6am is much too early a start for me on a Sunday morning. Thankfully, R is old enough to know it's wise to let his mother sleep for at least a couple of hours more. After registering that he and his sleepover friend were awake, I attempted total ear shutdown - but I never really managed to go back to sleep properly. So at 8am I was ready to face the new day, complete with two cranky and tired 6-year olds. I knew I was gonna have to get them out of the house before they killed each other or the cat.

Breakfast out of the way... and off to the running track we went. Armed with a football and some other outdoor toys, I had grand plans to get some exercise in while the boys played on the middle field. Knowing I wouldn't have long before their patience wore off, I decided on some 4 x 4 intervals to make the most of the time I had.

I had originally decided to let the heart rate monitor stay in the drawer for a few more weeks, so as not to get demotivated by my sheer level of unfitness – but let's face it: it makes interval training at the correct intensity a breeze. So out it came.

Did a slow 5 minute warm-up, followed by 4 sets of 4 minutes at 85-90% of max heart rate, with 3 minute "resting" time (70%) in between. When I was at my fittest a couple of years back, this meant running quite fast for 4 minutes, then a slow jog for 3 minutes. Now... well it was more a moderate jog for 4 minutes, followed by 3 minutes of brisk walking. But that's ok, I've gotta start somewhere!

30 minutes later, I was done - and didn't feel half dead like I thought I would. After a few stretches and catching my breath, I had enough oomph left to play some footie with the boys for 15 minutes, and also to be thoroughly beaten by them in a plank-off. Can you believe, they managed over 3 minutes each!!! I was defeated by the 1:30 mark. Ah, the shame! (By the way, my 6-year old pulled off 100kg on the leg press machine at the gym the other day, when he decided he wanted to have a go. Just like that, before I had a chance to set it lower for him... the fitness instructor dude was like "whoa!")

Have also spent some time today reflecting on my emotional overeating issues. This is something that will have a massive impact on my life if I can manage to work through it somehow. More on that in a later post – now it's bedtime!

Oh! Almost forgot to mention shorter and easier domain: www.flabfight.me

An active day = a happy day

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 19:49:00 +0000

Stayed in bed until about 10am today. Absolute BLISS! Headed across the road to the gym after breakfast, and spent an hour there before heading downstairs to the pool, where I chilled out in the heated pool and then the sauna and spa area, while R splashed around. Love that the gym membership includes free entry to the pool - brilliant! It's also a great bribe: "If you sit here with your Nintendo DS for an hour while mummy works out, we'll go swimming afterwards" - ah, the single parent life... gotta get creative to get time in the gym!

Gym- and pool session complete, it was time for grocery shopping. No car means a 15 minute walk each way = free exercise. Straight after that, I took R and a friend for a walk, and we had dinner in the woods (Pasta Bolognese on our new gas-fuelled camping stove, whoooo!). See that big pack of marshmallows there? I didn't have one! Cravings 0, willpower 1.

Returned home two hours later and cleaned the house. All in all, a very nice day. Dinner had a few more carbs than I'd ideally like, but there was more meat than pasta, the pasta was wholegrain and I had a huge side salad - so I reckon it'll be ok as long as I don't do it every day.

Hoping to make tomorrow yet another active day - going hiking with a friend and our respective kiddos. If I can get away with leaving R at a friend's house for an hour, I'll squeeze in a gym session too.

Monday will be running day. Another creative single parent trick: bringing running gear to work and squeezing in a 30-40 minute run between work and the school run. 4x4 intervals used to be my usual routine on such days, and I think I'll start doing that again as it worked wonders on improving my fitness level in a short space of time last time round.

Already, I can feel the exercise having a huge positive impact on my overall energy levels. Must. Keep. This. Up.

Thursday treat: "Bounty"

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 19:42:00 +0000

I know one thing - if I deprive myself totally, I will fail. Fact of life. What I will strive to do is to go for the healthier option when I allow myself a treat. Like these sugar free "Bounty" choccies. Simple to make, low carb, and totally delish.

RECIPE:

1 tin of coconut milk
2 tbsp cocosa (virgin coconut oil)
Desiccated coconut
Sukrin (Erythritol) or stevia to taste
Dark and/or sugar free chocolate (I love the Cavalier brand)

Use only the solid bit from the tin of coconut milk (use the liquid in a sauce later, if you don't want to waste it) and melt it in a pan with 1-2 tbsp of cocosa and sukrin or stevia to taste. Stir in desiccated coconut until the mixture has a porridge consistency. Shape the micture in one of the following ways:

Put it in silicone moulds and place in the freezer for half an hour.
Put the mixture in the fridge to set, roll into balls and place in the freezer for a while.
Put the micture into a lined cake tin and place in the freezer for a while. Once set, cut into bars.

Dip them in some melted chocolate. Leave to set in the fridge. Enjoy! Try not to scoff them all in one go though... They may be a healthier option, but they're not totally innocent!

(Note: if you have a low fat, rather than low carb, approach to weight loss - these might not be ideal for you. They do contain a fair bit of fat from the coconut milk and -oil.)

Re-join gym: check!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:38:00 +0000

Yeah, joining the thousands of other people signing up in January...

EDIT: So, after a brief return home to get changed, off to the gym I went. They'd changed the layout around completely, so I wandered about a bit confused, ended up doing a 15 minute warm-up on the elliptical, followed by 45 minutes of strength training - did arms, legs, back, the works, just to figure out where they had moved all the different machines to. Finished off with a slow jog over to meet my 6-year old at his football practice (in fairness, it's only 500 metres from the gym), and did a few stretches there.

And then I did something I have never done before. I have a complete fear of the free weights section, I figure all the tank-top-wearing muscle-men would just laugh at me if I ever ventured in there. But today I went and booked a session to be shown the ropes in there. Scaaaaary stuff indeed! I want/need to do some serious work on my entire upper body: my posture is crap, my shoulders slouch forward, my upper arms look like jelly, by belly looks like... uh, nevermind. You don't wanna know! Any tips you can spare would be greatly appreciated!

Progress report - week 1

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 08:48:00 +0000

Start weight: 85 kg / 187 lbs
Current weight: 74.4 kg / 163 lbs
Goal weight: 55 kg / 121 lbs

This week: – 0.6 kg / 1.3 lbs
Total loss: 10.6 kg / 23.3 lbs
Left to lose: 19.4 kg / 42.7 lbs

• • •

Upper arms: 33 cm
Chest: 101 cm
Waist: 89 cm
Hips: 102 cm
Thighs: 61 cm

Lessons learnt

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 23:21:00 +0000

About three years ago, I set out to lose 30 kg. I lost 22... and then lost track. So close, yet still so far. About a year ago I set out to finish what I had started... I failed. Oh boy, did I fail. Out of the 22 kg I had lost, 12 are now back with a vengeance.

So I've been thinking. What went wrong second time around? I found a recipe that worked for me the first time around, so why did I fail so miserably the second? And why the heck did I let things get so out of control in the first place?

Answering that second question is fairly easy: I guess I lost focus, got sidetracked by life. All the usual excuses.

I think I failed the second time because I had succeeded previously. "But that doesn't even make sense" you say. Well it does actually. It makes perfect sense. Because second time I knew what I had achieved before, and so achieving those things a second time... well, it just wasn't motivating in the same way because every day I remembered where I had been, and got pissed off with myself for letting that slip.

Take running for instance. I started running after already losing a few pounds. I set out with no fancy equipment, just a pair of old running shoes and some baggy tracksuit bottoms. No music, no Nike+ to track my time, speed and distance, no heart rate monitor - no fancy schmancy gear. Just me, my legs and the sound of myself panting away like a stranded whale. I had fairly rapid progress back then and decided music might be a welcome addition. And so it was. I traded in my running shoes for a new pair and somehow found the courage to wear lycra in public. Whoa! And after a while I discovered Nike+ and it gave me a huge motivation boost. Of course, by then I had already reached a certain level of fitness, but it was my first time and I had no benchmarks to measure my progress, other than "wow, I have never been this fit before!" Of course that was going to be motivating!

The second time around, I reached for the music, the Nike+ and the heart rate monitor straight away. But this time around they were not motivating at all. Quite the opposite - they just became reminders of what I had once achieved and then let slip. Depressing as hell, let me tell you! No wonder I quit!

This time around, I have decided it's back to basics again. At least for the first month. OK, the running shoes and -tights are here to stay, but other than that I'm back to just plodding along. No gadgets to tell me what my heart rate is or how ~~fast~~ slow I'm going or what distance I've covered. As long as I get out there, get out of breath and and work up a good sweat, that will be enough enough for now. In a few weeks time, when I don't feel like I am about to die after jogging 2.5k, I might start adding the gadgets again.

MY GOAL: I want to get back to the point where running is like meditation, and something I actually look forward to!

I'm also re-joining the gym tomorrow. I fancy doing some proper strength training from the word go this time round. Hopefully I'll pluck up the courage to ask some of the regulars for advice and hope that they'll take pity on the noob.

MY GOAL: To get strong, in both body and mind.

Food wise, my brain knows what it takes, but my body screams "nooooooooooo!" with each and every cell. After much trial and error, I have found that a low-carb approach is what works for me, but I am such a carb-addict, so this is gonna take some time and dedication. One I get through the worst bit, I know I will feel better. I'll be less bloated, less tired, less grumpy and generally just a nicer person inside and out. I'm gonna have to work on some strategies for dealing with slips and temptations. One such strategy is preparation, preparation, preparation. I have to take the time to plan my shopping and my meals. To make packed lunches. To stock up on ingredients to make low-carb treats for when desperation hits and I need chocolate now.

I will also have to confront my long standing and complex emotional issues with food head on, but that's for another post - it's way past bedtime already!

MY GOAL: To not aim for perfection, but also strive to eat mindfully and give my body the nutrients it needs and deserves. To address my emotional eating patterns.

What the hell was I thinking?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 21:43:00 +0000

Two and a half years?! Two and a half years indeed. Of half-hearted exercise and not-so-mindful eating. The result: the weight has crept back on and with it my self confidence has diminished. Although weight-wise I'm not quite back at where I started this journey, I am right back to loathing my body and feeling like a lump of lard. And to think I was so close, so flippin' close to being a normal healthy weight. To think I was able to jog 10k with relative ease, and now I am back to barely managing 5k. Barely!

The photo above is the result of a resolution to get back on track. That pretty much sums up how I felt after my first run (Run?! Ha!) in about six months.

So it seems I am back. Weight-wise I am unsure of just how much damage has been done, as my scales are out of battery – I was half relieved and half pissed off by that yesterday. I am estimating out of the 22 kg/48 lbs I lost... 10-12 kg/22-26 lbs have crept back on, but all will be revealed once I have replaced those batteries tomorrow.

Scary stuff indeed.

Oh, and sorry for the somewhat jumbled appearance of my old posts after the blog underwent a slight facelift. I'll try to go back and pretty them all up a bit if I can find time!

Another version of the sunflower flat bread

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 18:46:00 +0000

My supper tonight - looks yummy eh?

It's a different take on the flat bread baked with ground sunflower seeds that I posted about the other day. If you want to have a go at making this, you will need to look at the original recipe in this post - and then make the following modifications:

Replace the cream cheese with cottage cheese
Add a good handful of grated Jarlsberg cheese (or another yummy cheese) and a teaspoon of dried rosemary to the batter
Sprinkle sea salt and rosemary on top before baking

Enjoy!

BACK ON THE LOW CARB WAGON

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:31:00 +0000

I let things slip. Badly. But I am back on a very carb restricted diet, and I feel GREAT. It's pretty apparent that carbs do nothing for me, apart from making me bloated, sluggish and low on energy. After only 3-4 days without carbs, following a sugar/carb withdrawal from HELL, I emerged on the other side to find the bloatedness had gone and my energy levels were WAY better. Now, after a full carb-restricted week, I have gone into ketosis and so hopefully the weight should start dropping again too.

Been baking low carb bread again, and felt like sharing some pics for inspiration... first out is the bread you can find the recipe for here:

Here served with an omelette and parma ham...

I also tested a new recipe, for a flat bread baked with ground sunflower seeds instead of flour:

3 eggs
75 g full-fat cream cheese
50 ml double cream
110 g finely ground sunflower seeds
1 tbsp psyllium husk fibre
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 scoop (approx 2 heaped tbsp) unflavoured whey protein powder
1 tsp salt

I used a food processor to grind the sunflower seeds finely and it worked a treat. Place all the ingredients in a bowl and whizz with a hand-held blender. Spread ontp a lined baking tray (spread it so it's about 1 cm thick) and bake at 200 °C for about 15 minutes. I also sprinkled some sesame seeds on top before baking. Allow to cool slightly on a wire rack, then cut into 12 squares and store in an air tight container.

Here served with a generous helping of cream cheese and smoked salmon.. YUM!

If you spread the batter much thinner, and pre-bake it, it makes a lovely low-carb pizza base too:

Enjoy!

GETTING READY TO BE SHREDDED!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:22:00 +0000

So, after a loooong period of being way too lazy and eating way too many carbs... I'm back on track, and back blogging! In addition to running I've just started Jillian Michael's 30 day shred, and have just completed day 3 of level 1. I have heard so many people getting good results from the program, so thought I'd give it a go. Of course, here are "before" pics from 3 days ago - I have to have something to compare with once the 30 days are over!

If you are feeling brave, the images can be clicked for larger versions ;) I'll be updating with pics again on day 10, 20 and 30...

FIRST RUN OVER 10K

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 02 May 2010 12:40:00 +0000

11.45k in fact. I did 10k in JUST under an hour, and since I felt I could, I kept on going :) On a proper endorphin high now! Whooooooo!