PeteSapper.com

Marie Forleo | Get Over The Fear of Being Judged

2012-02-26T18:00:00.003-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuR9GLo9TBs[/youtube]

Pete Sapper + Earl Nightengale | The Strangest Secret

2012-02-19T21:44:00.005-06:00

Your self-image is the very foundation by which the entire quality of your life will be ultimately determined. How others see (and treat) you, how frequently you will attract abundance (as well as how deserving you'll feel once you have it), your ability to thrive in your career, health, finances ... believe it or not - is all completely contingent upon your self-image.

The power of Identity

Psychologists have known for nearly a century that the strongest force within the human psyche lies within the need to find - and then stay consistent with - one's identity. That means that once the unconscious mind has a clearly defined sense of identity, it will go to any length to maintain and protect it.

As the late, great Earl Nightengale so elequontly expounds upon in the video above (if you haven't listened yet, you will now listen to the most essential secret of life), the opposite of courage is not fear, but conformity. The choice to conform is always made unconsciously and with no logical reason ...

It goes like this: "I got married because that's just what you're supposed to do."
Or "I became a doctor because that's just what my family expected me to do."
Or "I had kids because that's what everyone does."

(or in my case, I spent more than half of my life doing things and being someone that I never wanted to do/be, because I was too fearful not to ...)

When we conform out of fear, we give up our power to become who we want to become. That power then gets placed squarely into the hands of a society - A victim culture where external circumstances; people, events, genetic limitations, medical diagnoses, etc - all control the outcomes of our lives. Our potential is then limited to only what others believe we can do, be, create or deserve.

The Self image & Identity link

Your self-image defines your identity - and your identity defines the limits of your potential.

Until we consciously let go of our old, designed-by-social-conformity self-image (along with the limiting beliefs, fear-based scarcity and convoluted misperceptions that were attached to it), any changes we make on the outside will conflict - and contradict - the image we hold on the inside. When that happens, the result is unconscious self-sabotage.

You see friends, your unconscious mind will always make sure that "you" stay consistent on the outside with the self-image you're holding on the inside (Remember - the most powerful human need is the need for identity).

Time to take back your power

Now that you've been exposed to this collective of knowledge - what Mr. Nightengale refers to as "The Strangest Secret" above - can you make the conscious decision to depart the comfort of conformity and reclaim your power? Because it is only by doing so that you can become the person and create the life that you've always dreamed of and deserve.

When you reclaim the power to change that old image of yourself you hold on the inside, everything on the outside will almost magically change right along with it.

We alone determine our value. We either decide for ourselves, or society, circumstances, events and our past will make the decision for us through the process of conformity.

Be high value.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0r8isgQ6PM[/youtube]

Matthew Hussey | Be High Value

2012-02-19T21:28:00.000-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-W9QvDU10[/youtube]

Steve Jobs | The Stanford Commencement

2012-02-15T21:47:00.000-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hIfa1O1YvU[/youtube]

Relationship Advice | "A Contrarian Guide"

2012-02-15T15:34:00.000-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afx80q0DIG0[/youtube]

Jim Rohn | Living An Exceptional Life

2012-02-14T21:30:00.002-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuObJcgfSQA[/youtube]

Tyler | Why Most Men Fail (EXPLICIT)

2012-02-14T21:27:00.005-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1G6kIb5pjk[/youtube]
Tyler Durden (Owen Cook of Real Social Dynamics) reveals an ugly truth about the modern male and his "magic pill" social conditioning. Given that personal development is (in reality) a lengthy and often tedious process, it's little wonder why the vast majority of men settle for mediocrity.

Pete Sapper | Emotional Mastery

2012-02-14T07:58:00.000-06:00

Lifestyle and Dating Coach Pete Sapper interviewed by Hazel Martin at the Matthew Hussey Lifestyle Retreat in Kissimmee, Florida. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSEDy4v3iJo[/youtube]

Wayne Dyer | Excuses Begone

2012-02-13T22:05:00.000-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXZEPuHzY6Y[/youtube]

Jack Canfield | Take 100% Responsibility

2012-02-13T21:36:00.000-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UImggxakciM[/youtube]Pete's Commentary: There's something to be said about the amount of resistance Jack gets from certain audience members when he asserts that everything in our lives - every circumstance, every situation - falls under the category marked "100% my responsibility". It speaks to the reality of what a victim culture we were all raised in, and why only the most exceptional (i.e. HIGH VALUE) people break away from this victim mindset and DECIDE to take charge of our lives.

Eckhart Tolle | The Secret of Happiness

2012-02-13T11:05:00.000-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvfC1jeNo8Q[/youtube]

Top 10 Misconceptions Men Have About Women

2012-02-08T17:21:00.005-06:00

Let's face it guys, ours is a lost generation of men. And with good reason.

The majority of us had fathers who traded time for dollars and were rarely around for us. For others, dad was checked out altogether.

Now factor in that at least half of us are children of divorce in a system that's heavily biased towards awarding custody to mothers, and the end result is an entire generation of emasculated men who were raised by women.

So, in an effort to do my part to restore the natural balance, I ask you to set aside any latent anger I may have just incited towards your parents and delight in my list of The Top 10 Misconceptions Men Have About Women.

1. If I want to know what a woman wants in a man, I can just ask her! (AND ... insert loud buzzer noise here) - Wrong. The majority of women, when asked about what they're looking for in a man, will give you a typical laundry list of qualities. These usually run along the lines of "a nice guy", "someone who's sweet and funny" "someone who loves cats", etc ...

What this list really consists of is the surface-layer stuff that she thinks she wants. And while it's true that she does seek these qualities on a conscious level, it won't do you a bit of good because the fact is that women (unlike men) feel attraction largely on an unconscious level. They're not deliberately trying to deceive you, gentlemen.

How many times have you heard a girl say "There was just something about him that was so attractive, but I can't put my finger on it."?

Take the whole "I just want a guy who's nice" example. Have you ever wondered why MMA fighters, cops, firemen, etc. get hot women (even the hideous ones?). Regardless of what women say they want, you need only take a look around you to see that the 'nice guy' will almost always lose out to the 'bad boy'.

And as many of you have discovered, buying into this non-deliberate misdirection is tantamount to purchasing a one-way ticket to the friend's zone.

2. Women are 'bitches' because they always look to push their boundaries, test guys and play tons of mind games. - A woman - especially a high-value woman - is perfectly within her right to test you to see if you're actually worthy of being with her. And the truth is, her tendency to push limits and test boundaries is also a function of her unconscious thought processes.

That means (unlike me), she's not deliberately trying to mess with you!

From an evolutionary standpoint, women are hard-wired to seek out a protector - one with qualities like confidence, strength and assertiveness (take note gentlemen - these qualities are the ones that actually build attraction). So when you establish a boundary in the beginning of a relationship and then let her slide when she breaks it, you've essentially failed her test and shown her that the only thing you're really worthy of being is a door mat. And rightfully so. Unlike the majority of men, women don't reward bad behavior.

3. All men are shameless, sex-crazed, skirt chasing pigs and poor women have to put up with being hit on constantly. - (I actually wish I had a freakin' bull-horn for this one).

Do you know what genre of books consistently outsells every other? Romance novels. Yeah - those incredibly lame paperbacks with douchebags like Fabio on the cover. Who do you think reads all those books?

Here's a newsflash boys - women love and want sex every bit as much as men do. And if they didn't want to be hit on and romanced, they wouldn't have spent 4 hours putting on make-up or doing their hair and nails before going out on a Saturday night.

In reality, women are more than happy to be complicit in their own seduction, as long as you don't go about it in the same low-value way that most guys do. Men who have problems communicating their interest to women are typically the types that are heavily attached to the mind-virus of judgement - often to the point of assigning them numbers on a subjective value scale. Of course, it doesn't do you much good to see her as an '8' when you see yourself as a '4'.

Allow me to clarify: You're the one with the problem.

4. All women are money hungry gold-diggers! - This is a popular notion that guys often use to explain away their incompetence with women.

Again, if you'd have managed to stay awake during that otherwise useless college course on human evolution, you'd know that females have been hard-wired since the age of australopithecus to seek out a male who is a competent provider.

And while it may be hard for your ego to accept, this is far more a means of nature ensuring the survival of a species than it is a vindictive attack on your eggshell of a male psyche.

5. Since she wants a 'provider', I can impress her by talking about my job, family inheritance, BMW, social status, etc. These are all great ways to demonstrate the value she's looking for! - WRONG. When you first meet a woman (and actually want her to be attracted to you), your focus and attention should be placed on her, and only on her. That means you ...

STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF

... Ask her questions about what's important to her - THEN SHUP AND LISTEN.

If you can't shut your nervous yap long enough to catch the essential clues and insight she's offering you, then you deserve the disappearing act she's about to pull on you.

6. When we go out on dates, she'll appreciate the fact that I give her options and ask her where she wants to go! - Translation - "I'm too much of a wuss to do my job as a man and take the lead, so I'll place that burden squarely on her, instead." Unless she specifies a place or activity, do your duty as a man and take the lead for God's sake. The same concept applies in any instance where leading is appropriate. If you don't step up, you'll get stepped on.

7. I don't want to scare her off by sexually escalating too quickly. She'll appreciate the fact that I'm taking it slow. - Here's another delightful excuse 'nice guys' use to justify their cowardice and refusal to lead and pace an interaction ... And they wonder why women get frustrated and lose interest.

Instead of attempting to read her mind, why not try paying attention instead? The majority of men are too tied up in their own egoic delusion to be aware of the obvious cues that women give them to escalate. Even worse, whenever any sexual tension is created, they ruin the moment by backing off instead of making a move.

The essential skill required to lead any interaction depends upon your ability to read the cues she's giving you. Unlike you (who has to analyze every situation to death), what she's looking for is spontaneity. So stop making decisions for her and start paying attention to what she wants.

8. Since women want to be appreciated, she'll love the fact that I'm putting her on a pedestal! -This one deserves an entire article of its own because it is the absolute, number one mistake men make with women.

In fact, the tendency that modern, emasculated men have to 'hex' a woman by idealizing her doesn't just cause her to lose interest in you ... it completely repels her. If you make the mistake of forcing her to be the scapegoat for your low self-esteem, say goodbye to attraction for good.

9. I blame women being shallow bitches for my low self esteem! - This guy is the type who's famous for saying things like "There's no sense in approaching a really hot girl. She's definitely out of my league" or "I'm in my 40's, younger women won't like me."

Look around buddy. Hot women everywhere have shacked up with fat guys, ugly guys, broke guys, etc. As for you being "too old" ... unless she's a 12 year-old Justin Beiber fan, she probably swoons over guys like Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Johnny Depp. Know what they have in common? They're all older than you are.

The men who still adhere to the ridiculous notion that women care about looks, money or any other surface layer nonsense are blind to the most wonderful thing about women ...They're not nearly as superficial as we are!

10. I have to get her to like me before she'll find me attractive! - The majority of men who fail miserably with women do so for the same reason most people suck at sales - They're too cowardly to break rapport!

And just like the spineless salesman who is too scared to take a deal off the table, the agreeable man who won't challenge a woman or stand up for himself comes off as a weakling who is unworthy of her time.

Newsflash - You can't lose what yon't don't have! The handful of men who are successful with women know two things - 1. In the majority of cases, you will have to break rapport at some point in order to activate the masculine - feminine polarity at the very core of attraction, and 2. the essence of attraction amounts to little more than getting a woman to emotionally invest in the interaction.

Whether the emotion is positive or negative is irrelevant because attraction doesn't have a thing in the world to do with "liking" someone. You're not in the third grade anymore, so grow the hell up.

If you have found yourself falling victim to of any of these 10 socially-programmed misconceptions, you might want to stop using sitcoms with gay writers like Sex and The City as your guide to what women want or how a man should act - and hire a coach, instead. There's a reason those women were all still single in their mid forties.

The Top 5 Ways Guys Blow It With Women

2012-02-07T22:17:00.007-06:00

One of the more enjoyable aspects of working in the bar/nightclub industry was all the nightly comedic entertainment you were sure to be exposed to. I kid you not, along with perks like free limo rides, endless bar tabs and a steady stream of attractive and available women, came some unparalleled entertainment in the form of totally clueless guys who seemed to count being constantly rejected as one of their favorite hobbies.

I'd like to return the favor to those 'gentlemen' who so graciously sacrificed themselves (and their self-esteem) by offering this short accounting of their top 5 follies with women. It is only through their self-less sacrifice that the rest of us might learn what not to do when trying to create attraction with women.

Without further ado, here are the top 5 ways guys ruin attraction with women:

1. Being too aggressive: I used to love watching these guys get blown out. They're the type that go from zero to 100 the moment they get an IOI (indicator of interest). If you're one of these guys, here's a clue - women are attracted to a man who is assertive. Aggression on the other hand repels women.

Aggressive behavior - coming on way too strong - smacks of anger issues and a guy who is not in control of his life. Assertive men on the other hand, sub-communicate that they are in total control of themselves and their lives.

Being assertive is knowing what you want, and then relentlessly going after at. Being aggressive is trying way too hard to get it. It would behoove you to understand the difference.

2. Being too available: As a sales professional, I learned early on that scarcity is one of the strongest triggers when it comes to getting someone to bypass their usual "analysis paralysis" and take action. It's rather difficult to create a sense of urgency with a woman when you're far too accessible to her ... and it's amazing how disinterested women can be when they see you as being a readily available commodity.

It's also amazing how decisive they can be when they know being "wishy-washy" with you means another woman is likely to come along and snatch you up at moment's notice. So stop posting hourly Facebook updates and texting or calling her every 3 hours. This is usually a great indicator that you've got nothing else going on, and a clear message that she should continue shopping for a high-value man that actually has options.

3. Bringing up past relationships: It's unreal how many guys blow it almost immediately with this one. Your past relationships are over for a reason. Hearing about how badly your ex traumatized you is not going to win you any points. Neither will being negative or pessimistic about your past, so check your baggage at the door and try focusing on something that is actually important to her, like creating a compelling vision of the future she'll have with you.

Believe it or not, she'll appreciate you being one of the few guys who are capable of being fully present with her in the moment.

4. Showering her with gifts: This is something I hear guys trying to justify all the time. Even the girls you think are clueless, naive or flat-out dumb are intuitive enough to see this type of behavior for what it is - a shameless bribe that screams "I'm unworthy, but here - take these gifts as compensation for my shortcomings."

Pull yourself together and save the supplication for your mommy. She will invariably sense your lame motives (and your low self-esteem), lose any interest and attraction she might have previously had, and you'll either be consigned to the back-burner or get locked up in the "friends zone" (where guys like you belong).

Gifts will be much more appropriate once they're being given without a hidden agenda.

5. Being totally clueless: The years I spent working in the bar scene taught me one thing ... most guys are totally clueless when it comes to women, and more specifically, what women care about. It was usually the DJ (no matter how ugly he happened to be) that got the most women. Why? Because he was constantly stirring up strong emotions in women with the music he played.

Ever been in a club and heard a horde of women let out a collective scream of ecstasy because a certain song came on?

Conversely, have you ever heard a horde of guys do the same thing? (If so, you were probably at a gay club).

Women are emotional creatures - the men who realize this are the ones who consistently get emotional reactions from women and then build massive attraction with them. The ones who don't spend two hours primping in front of the mirror and change their outfit 15 or 20 times before going out. These buffoons are the ones you always hear asking "what does she see in that loser?"

She doesn't see anything, dummy. She feels his value ... ( just like she feels your lack thereof ).

Get with the program, check your anger issues at the door, and stop believing the brainwashing you've been force-fed by society since you stopped sucking your thumb. If you want to make 2012 the year you go from Average Frustrated Chump to Always Building Attraction, you'll learn from the folly of your fellow men and shift the way you think.

As the old saying goes, if you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.

Motivation | Pain is Temporary

2012-02-06T12:05:00.000-06:00

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa1j2kBIYOw[/youtube]

Pete Sapper | Good Guy vs Nice Guy

2012-01-19T17:08:00.000-06:00

One of the most common questions I'm asked by women is this: "Why did my guy change? He was such a gentleman in the beginning, but as time went by he became an insecure, controlling jerk who puts me down and blames me for everything. The next time I meet a guy and he seems like a perfect gentleman, how can I tell if he's for real?"

So here it is: The difference between a genuine good guy who women consider a "keeper" and one who ultimately turns out to be nightmare is always centered around his behavior. I mean his real behavior, ladies.

Men who act "nice" in the beginning commonly do so from a position of weakness and insecurity, typically out of a fear of being rejected.

Once your guard comes down however, and he feels comfortable enough to be sure rejection is no longer an issue, his true self emerges (much to your surprise).

This is commonly the case with passive-aggressive, people-pleasing types who suffer from a lack of self-esteem. Their nice guy act is a facade they use to garner a feeling of acceptance from certain individuals and/or groups of people whom they believe can 'cure' their lack of self-worth with acceptance and validation.

Here's how to see through the veneer of the 'nice guy' sooner, rather than later. As always, please share your thoughts, ideas and experiences in the comments box below.

Five Lessons You Can Learn From a Low Value Couple

2012-01-15T09:41:00.001-06:00

If you've watched Jerry Macguire (or its many Hollywood fantasy derivatives) enough times to have bought into the 'I was empty inside, but you complete me' fallacy, or you're the type that says shit like "I can't believe it ... they looked so happy together!" when Nick and Jessica broke up or when "John and Kate Plus Eight" turned into "The Courtship of Katie's Ego", you're probably going to hate me for this ...

Luckily, I've won enough popularity contests to tide my ego over for the next few lifetimes.

So without any further ado, here's my list of 5 (painful) lessons you can learn from a low value couple:

1. Set ground rules like "no punching each other in the face" in the beginning of the relationship.
When they get broken ... do the sane thing and leave.

Love doesn't sucker-punch you with its 'daddy issues' or hold you responsible for the fact that 'mommy was never there'. Replaying the pathological relationships one witnessed as a child is nothing short of unconscious insanity.

It sure makes for some great TV, though. ( Don't judge me. I need my fix, just like the rest of you ).

2. There's a seriously thin line between a codependent person's version of 'love' and 'hate' ...

Especially when their definition of "I love you" really translates to "I need you" (to distract me from the vast chasm of emptiness in my core)

... And God help you if you ever cease to serve that purpose.

3. The most toxic relationships are always the most addictive.

Needy types are addicted to the euphoric rush their brain feels every time they latch onto another codependent stage-5 clinger. The neuro-chemical cascade they feel originates from the same pleasure centers of the brain that light up when heroin finds its target opiate receptor.

Of course, this euphoric high, much like its synthetically-induced counterparts has a nasty comedown.

When the honeymoon ends - so does the temporary respite it once offered from that little voice that torments a needy mind 24-7 when it doesn't have the addictive drama of a toxic relationship to drown it out.

4. The low-value person's need to worship false gods by placing something as faulty as a human-being on a freakin' pedestal is the purest form of self-ownage. (It also probably pisses the real the real One off.)

When the "he's perfect, not like my loser ex" or the "she's not a dirty skank like the rest of them" idealization is over, they will be wishing Allstate offered full coverage heartbreak insurance.

(Where's that hilarious 'mayhem' dude when you really need him?)

4. The neediness and clinginess that constitutes codependence is about as low value as it gets. It's also insanely selfish.

From cock-blocking 'The Situation' to causing poor Pauly and Vinnie many a nervous breakdown, The narcissistic, people-pleaser and attention-starved 'sweet bitch' that comprised this drama-mongering duo were utterly oblivious to the fact that they frequently destroyed any semblance of fun for those who had to inhabit the same living space.

The low-value moto goes like this: It's all about me, baby.

5. Codependent types love to play the 'hapless victim' role, even when it's been completely worn out from the first 50 times they used it.

Herein lies the insanity of codependency: toxic relationships like Ronnie and Sammi's - what Dane Cook laughingly refers to as 'relation-shits' - don't just happen to people.

And that narcissistic ego-maniac or histrionic, borderline personality disordered 'psychobitch' they invariably blame for the craziness was never the problem. They were.

No matter how bad one was abused or neglected as a child ('cause let's face it, that's what all this craziness is really about), they're not 3 years old anymore. Mommy, daddy, or the long-dead pervert uncle aren't the ones calling the shots now.

So let's bottom line it, my friends: Codependent douchbaggery - the kind that Ronnie and Sammi have mastered - is an acquired skill that serves no worthy purpose and, like any other addiction, always leaves its user totally devoid of self-worth ... there's not enough GTL on the planet to fix that.

Practice letting intolerable bullshit slide enough times in a relationship and you'll have to call in a diving team to find your self esteem.

The High Value Power of Praising Others

2012-01-14T09:37:00.007-06:00

One of the great ironies of life is that people of high-value are often deemed "arrogant" or "egotistical" by the mediocre majority.

It's ironic because in reality, quite the opposite is true. Being high value means your focus, energy and attention is on others at least 90% of the time.

Which brings me to compliments.

One hallmark of high-value individuals is their willingness to offer praise to others. To these select few, giving a genuine compliment is an effective means of *offering value to others* as well as *garnering value for themselves*.

Of course, this entire concept is beyond reason to the low value majority. They distort such behavior, often labeling it 'ass-kissing', 'being manipulative', 'being fake', etc. And from their map of the world, it must be - Low Value Individuals rarely (if ever) give compliments.

Their reasons for this total lack of social grace is two-fold:

1. They're far too preoccupied with themselves (and their constant need for approval) to even notice - much less compliment - others
2. Their scarcity mindset tells them that by giving value to someone else, they will be losing value for themselves.

It usually sounds like this: "You know, I would tell you how handsome/beautiful/intelligent/talented you are ________, but I don't want you to get a big head."

Translation: "If I raise your value, I'll lower mine, so I'll maintain the 'equilibrium' by never complimenting anyone!"

Sound familiar?

The High Value Individual, on the other hand operates from an abundance mindset and sees compliments as one of the most effective means of:

Offering value by giving credit and recognition where it is deserved (thereby raising their own value with the recipient)
Conveying a powerful self image by having no aversion to express appreciation for others (thereby raising their own value to anyone who witnesses their gracious demeanor)
Demonstrating their social grace and intelligence (thereby raising their own value within and throughout their social circle)
Identifying and filtering LVI's (Low Value Individuals) out of their lives (thereby raising the value of their entire circle of influence by proactively maintaining high standards)

Of course, the majority of people who read this site are already well aware of just how much value and influence they can yield by using something as simple as a genuine compliment. You're not the ones I'm writing this article for.

This article was written specifically for those who still maintain that their refusal to rise above their low value standards, habits and peer group are an act of "humility", "selflessness" or anything other than what their need to conform to mediocrity actually is - an expression of cowardice.

We alone determine our value. The rest of society just takes our cue and treats us accordingly.

In the words of the great Les Brown, "It doesn't take any effort to be a loser", so stay high value, my friends.

The High Value Woman's Facebook Profile

2011-12-29T14:58:00.006-06:00

Your Facebook profile can tell the world a lot about you. Your lifestyle, your peer group, your penchant for sushi are all essentially on display. Believe it or not, these aspects all communicate (very often on an unconscious level) a certain image of who you are as a person.

In the case of a guy you've just 'friended', it communicates whether or not you're a woman of high-value.

The vast majority of women these days, gripped by mainstream media brainwashing and the approval-hungry ways of their role models, seek to feed their egos by flooding their profiles with albums full of mindless photos of themselves. Suggestive poses, revealing outfits, sloppy drunk, attached to the random guy-du-jour.

And the fact is, this is exactly the type of low-value approach that attracts the kind of low-value guy you probably ended up with in your last relationship.

When it comes to the kind of high-value guy who has options, approval-seeking kills attraction every time. If you get nothing else from these articles on how to be a high-value woman, get this - low value tactics attract low value results.

The action plan: Create one main album of photos of you in no more than 25-30 of your best, most poised and confident poses (i.e. not sloppy drunk and falling over on your BFF's lap or attached to some random guy you gave your number to when you got trashed at John Barleycorn's). All of your other albums should do two things only: 1. Showcase your amazing lifestyle and 2. NOT come off as approval-seeking.

My friend Julie's profile is a perfect example. A 6 foot blonde beauty, she could have easily gone the usual, low-value route and posted 600 pointless "look at me" photos of herself. Instead, her profile consists of a single profile album of her photos, while the rest of her albums showcase her amazing lifestyle - Trips to exotic locations along with an assortment of photos of family gatherings and her adorable dogs. Leading an interesting lifestyle - the kind that doesn't need anyone else to be interesting - is the key to being a high-value woman.

And no, you don't have to live Julie's lifestyle of jungle safaris and mountain climbing in Nepal, the two main components of showcasing your high-value are simple:

You are an individual with a healthy self-image - YOU complete YOU
You lead an awesome life that any man would be lucky to be a part of. Unlike the vast majority of women (and men), the last thing you require is someone else's approval.

Get more great tips on how to be a high-value woman (and get high-value results) from Get The Guy founder Matthew Hussey at http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/fabulous/.

Drop the Victim Act, Baby - Like Attracts Like

2011-12-29T14:43:00.006-06:00

As you look around at your fellow human beings, you will find it hard to ignore the fact that very few people are happy, fulfilled and leading purposeful lives. A lesson, which has taken us far too long to learn, is that the opposite of bravery is not cowardice, but conformity. You may have spent valuable, irreplaceable years trying to fit into "the parade" only to learn, too late, that you will never fit in.

What we have in our life right now is the outward manifestation of what has been going on in our mind. We have literally attracted everything that has come into our life, good or bad, happy or sad, success or failure.

Our thoughts become the blueprint, which attracts from our subconscious mind all the elements that go into fulfilling our concepts, whether they be positive or negative.

This includes all facets of our experience including business, marriage, health or personal affairs. Think about it! Your surroundings, your environment, your world all outwardly picture what you think about inwardly. By discovering why you are the way you are, you also find the key to being what you want to be.

Tragically, the "Unhappy Majority" have been programmed to believe that outward circumstances, other people and random acts of God are what controls their lives ...

When I started coaching, I had this naive, Pollyanna-esqe outlook. It didn't take long for me to realize however, that with the "Unhappy Majority", the idea that people and things control their lives is so thoroughly ingrained in their thinking that they will simply not respond to logical arguments that prove otherwise.

There's little doubt that you know of someone who insists on clinging to this outlook, and that at some point in your life, you've wanted to shake them silly and bring them to the realization that health, happiness, abundance and peace of mind are natural states of being once the bonds of negative thinking are finally broken.

In my opinion, the only way to truly fail in this lifetime is to blindly repeat the unconscious incompetence of the past generation. Ensuring that our children inherit a more empowered planet is a universal responsibility.

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Letting Go: 7 Steps To Releasing Past Pain

2011-12-28T13:00:00.001-06:00

1. Identify and locate the emotion physically
Set aside a few minutes when you won’t be disturbed. Sit comfortably and close your eyes. For a few minutes, just meditate in silence. Focus on your breathing.

Now with eyes still closed, recall some circumstance in the recent past that was upsetting to you. It may be a time when you felt you were mistreated, an argument with your partner, or perhaps a past injustice at work. Identify some instance where you felt emotionally upset.

For the next 30 seconds, think in detail about that incident. Try to picture what actually happened as vividly as you can, as if you were reporting it for a newspaper. Here, you are the observer watching this event. You are not the event, argument or emotional upset; you are merely witnessing what is happening from the perspective of your silent self. You are carrying the effect of the meditation you just did, allowing you to maintain a vantage point that is not overshadowed by the quality of the emotions.

Now identify exactly what you are feeling. Put some word on the incident that describes what you are experiencing. Be as precise as you can. Do you feel unappreciated? Insulted? Treated unfairly? Give the feeling a name. Come up with a word that epitomizes the painful experience. Focus your attention on that word.

2. Witness the experience
Gradually allow your attention to move away from the word. Let your attention wander into your body. Become aware of the physical sensations that arise in your body as a result of the emotion you’ve identified.

These two elements — an idea in the mind and a physical sensation in the body — are what an emotion truly is, and they can’t really be separated. This is why we call it a feeling — because we feel emotions in our bodies.

Let your attention pass through your body as you’re recalling this experience. Locate the sensations the memory brings up. For many it’s a pressure in the chest or a sensation of tightness in the gut. Some feel it as pressure in their throat. Find where it is in your body that you’re feeling and holding the emotional experience.

3. Express the emotion
Now express that feeling. Place your hand on the part of your body where you sense that the feeling is located. Say it out loud: “It hurts here.” If you’re aware of more than one location for the pain, move your hand from place to place. At every location, pause for a moment and express what you’re feeling. Say, “It hurts here.”

When you experience physical discomfort, it means that something is unbalanced in your experience — physically, mentally or spiritually. Your body knows it — every cell in your body knows it. Befriend these sensations and their wisdom, because the pain is actually leading you to wholeness.

Writing your feelings out on paper is also a valuable way to express the emotion. This is especially effective when you can write out your painful experience in the first person, in the second person and finally from the perspective of a third person account.

4. Take responsibility
Be aware that any painful feelings you experience are your feelings. These feelings are happening inside your body now as you remember the pain, even though nothing is actually taking place in the material world. You’re only remembering what happened, yet your body is reacting with muscle contractions, hormonal secretions and other responses within you. Even when the painful incident was occurring in the material world, the effect was entirely within you. You have choice in how you interpret and respond to emotional turbulence. Recognizing this is taking responsibility for your feelings.

This doesn’t mean you feel guilty. Instead, it means you recognize your ability to respond to painful situations in new and creative ways. By taking responsibility for your feelings, you can also gain the power to make the pain melt away. You’re no longer blaming anyone else for having caused the pain, so you no longer have to depend on anyone else to make it go away. Hold that understanding in your consciousness for the next few moments.

5. Release the emotion
Place your attention on the part of your body where you’re holding the pain, and with every exhalation of your breath, have an intention of releasing that tension. For the next 30 seconds, just feel the painful sensation leaving your body with every breath. Some people find that making an audible tone that resonates in that part of your body where the pain is localized helps to loosen and lift the contraction away.

You can also experiment to discover what works best for you. For some people, singing or dancing does the trick. You may try deep breathing, using essential oils, or taking a long warm bath. Finally, if you have written out your emotions on paper, it can be helpful to ritually burn the paper and offer the ashes to the winds.

6. Share the outcome
Sharing the outcome of releasing your pain is important because it activates the new pattern of behavior after the old painful pattern is released. Imagine that you could speak to the person who was involved in that original painful incident. What would you say to that person now?

Bear in mind that he/she was not the real cause of your pain. The real cause was your response. In your transformed state, you are now free. So you can share what happened without blame, manipulation or seeking approval. Perhaps they intended to cause you pain, and you may have unwittingly collaborated in that intention. Maybe you would like to say you no longer intend to fall into such traps.

Whatever you say is totally up to you. As long as you have an awareness of the steps we’ve taken so far in this exercise, whatever you say will be right for you.

7. Celebrate the process
Now you can celebrate the painful experience that had taken place as the valuable material that helped you move to a higher level of consciousness. What was previously a disconnected, destructive and disabled part of your psyche is now integrated and contributing its power toward your greater spiritual goal. Instead of responding to the situation with a pain reflex, perpetuating the problem, you’ve turned it into an opportunity for spiritual transformation. That is something to celebrate! Go out for a nice dinner or buy yourself some flowers or a present to honor the new you.

Use this exercise whenever you feel upset, to free yourself from emotional turbulence and the underlying pain. Remember that choosing to suffer is an act of insanity, and no one is consciously insane. When you do that, you'll find that opportunities will begin to materialize in every area of your life.

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Matthew Hussey Video Blog: Holiday Wishes From L.A.

2011-12-23T19:21:00.000-06:00

London-based Life Strategist Matthew Hussey isn't just another guru. He's the guru who turned yours truly loose on the world.

If there's one name in the expert space that always delivers value - whether he's coaching a group of 8 or speaking to an auditorium of 8 thousand - it's Matt. Since high-value will be the very essence of this site in 2012, Matt gets his very own corner on this site. Scroll down and enjoy the value now. You can thank me later.

Matthew Hussey Video Blog: 12/25/10 - "Happy Holidays from Matthew Hussey"

If finally attracting the man of your dreams is the plan for 2012, check out these amazing FREE resources from 'Get The Guy' founder, Matthew Hussey himself:

http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/fabulous/

About Matt: Matthew Hussey’s rise to success has been meteoric. With packed out seminar rooms from London to New York, he is a rising star in the speaking world and is gaining international status as a life strategist – transforming the lives of individuals of all ages, from every walk of life.

Under his MH brand he has been contracted to work with various prestigious individuals and large corporations. Private clients have included directors of major FTSE 500 companies like Morgan Stanley. Clients fly from all over the world to visit his programs in London, as well as travelling across the globe to be part of his immersive life-transformational retreats.

Matt's Next Lifestyle Retreat is scheduled for March 11th through the 15th, 2012. To get detailed info and a daily run-down of what to expect on this life-changing 5-day event, visit http://www.matthewhussey.com/retreat.

Four Techniques To Annihilate Your Anxiety

2011-12-22T10:44:00.001-06:00

This article has moved. It is now located at behighvalue.com.

The Power & Paradox Of Self Discipline

2011-12-13T22:56:00.002-06:00

dis·ci·pline - noun. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control.

Whether your chosen battlefield is the boardroom or the courtroom, chances are those who create results with consistency in your game do so largely through self discipline. While discipline can be learned and developed like any other skill, only a select few ever take steps to develop it in a systematic way.

The Power Of Discipline

The power of self discipline can be described as the inner strength to make a decision, take action, and handle and execute any aim or task until it is accomplished, regardless of inner and outer resistance, discomfort or difficulties. It bestows the ability to overcome laziness, temptations and negative habits, and to carry out actions, even if they require effort, are unpleasant and tedious or are contrary to one’s habits. It is the rejection or sacrifice of instant gratification in favor of a higher goal or purpose. Self-discipline is self-mastery, and this mastery manifests itself in spiritual grounding, mental toughness, emotional resilience and physical prowess.

The Paradox Of Discipline

Contrary to the belief of the pleasure-seeking majority, discipline does not mean living a narrowed, rigid or limiting lifestyle. On the contrary - Because discipline endows the inner strength to focus all of one's energy on a goal and persevere, unrelenting, until it is accomplished - it creates ultimate freedom by giving the warrior who wields it choices which will never be made available to the masses.

Whether the goal is building a business, losing weight or creating excellent relationships, building your "discipline muscles" by behaving contrary to your old habits will sharpen and strengthens your mindset, boost self-esteem and create an unstoppable sense of self-confidence. With constant practice, your inner power will grow in much the same way that exercising your muscles at a gym increases your physical strength. By following a systematic method of training you can reach far, have more control over yourself and your life, attain your goals, and improve your life, and gain satisfaction and peace of mind.

What are your experiences with discipline? Has it been a challenge for you, are you in the process of creating it, or have you achieved self-mastery already? Leave your comments on the importance of discipline below.

Enlightened Relationships - From 'The Power Of Now'

2011-12-12T14:56:00.001-06:00

Depending on where you happen to be in your journey, you will likely have one of two reactions to my having exposed you to this wisdom: You'll either want to kiss me or kill me.

Either response is acceptable. My only hope is that the latter group be able to come back to - and utilize - this invaluable resource when it is needed.

Those who won't be prepared to receive this message, please know that any wisdom I share is always sourced from a place of oneness and love. As always, your comments - positive or negative - are welcome.

- Pete

If this resource has served you, please support the cause of awakening the planet from the disease of the social mind virus by clicking the 'like' button below or sending this to someone you care about. Your support is always appreciated. Without it, this site and its deeper message could not exist.

What Your Response To Compliments Says About You

2011-12-12T09:00:00.004-06:00

One of the best ways I know of to gauge your level of emotional well-being and confidence is to examine your relationship to compliments. I’ve known people that have an amazing ability to deflect the most genuine of compliments.

“Oh, this old thing, I just threw it on.”
“No, I just got lucky.”
“Yes, I’ve lost a few pounds, but I have a long way to go.”
“Anyone could have done it as well.”
“I’m not really that smart, I just work really hard.”

"I don't even deserve to be complimented on my weight loss because I'm still a fat slob compared to (fill in the blank)", is the socially programmed script running in their heads.

Some people simply ignore it when you compliment them and shamefully look down at the ground. This deflection is typically done because of - you guessed it - the social brainwashing which causes the vast majority of people to confuse humility with embarrassment, guilt and shame. Programmed by ridiculous phrases like "it's better to give than receive", many are brought up to become as "invisible" as humanly possible. For them, receiving anything of value - from a simple compliment to an expensive gift - is an excruciating endeavor. They might as well be standing alone on a massive stage in front of an audience of thousands of judging eyes.

THE APPROVAL-SEEKING OTHER HALF

On the other side of the continuum are the approval seekers who are desperate to get your compliment.

“No one has noticed my new outfit.”
“Doesn’t anyone recognize the hard work I put into this?”
“Can’t anyone tell I’ve lost weight?”
“I wonder how they think I did in my presentation?”
“I’ll show them how smart I am.”

Many of these "approval junkies" will quietly suffer when they don’t get complimented, others are like deep sea fishermen casting out hooks of their accomplishments hoping someone will take the bait and let them reel in a compliment (just check out a few Facebook profiles for an example).

HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH COMPLIMENTS

The optimistic and confident person can hear a compliment, embrace it, and thank the giver for it, but at the same time is not desperate to get it. Remember that the compliment is a wonderful fringe - it should never be a sought-after Holy Grail. This is the most blatant evidence that the ego is in firm control, and I assure you ... there are not enough compliments on this planet to satisfy the human ego's insatiable hunger for approval.

THE ACTION PLAN

Ask 5 people you know and respect to name the qualities that they see as your inherent strengths. Then look them squarely in the eye and thank them. Take each list an post it where you'll be able to see it everyday - preferably first thing in the morning.

This will serve several purposes:

1. It will remind you of how much you continually tend to underestimate yourself.
2. Seeing the positive feedback on a daily basis will shift your overall focus back to your many strengths (where it rightfully belongs)
3. It will force you to learn how to properly accept compliments and respond to them in a manner which is both appreciative and respectful to the giver.
4. Using this action plan, you will build a healthy sense of self-esteem (it's called self-esteem) for a reason, you know.

Leave your comments, thoughts and feedback on the compliment debacle below.