My apologies for keeping the kitty crotch shot up for so long but I’ve been a busy bee. I’d like to announce that after a full on nipple search on both cats as well as all of your wise advice here and on facebook, I feel confident that my cats are at least post-op trannies if not naturally male. We all feel better knowing because as GI Joe always said, “Knowing is half the battle.” And now I’m left wondering what the other half of the battle involves…

In other news, I wanted to give you a head’s up (just in case you are in the running) that I’m totally winning Mother of the Year for 2009. On Sunday, when I pick my 9 year old daughter up from her two week stay at summer camp, I will have the biggest, most coolest surprise to share with her. It will go a little something like this:

We’ll have the car packed with her trunk o’ filthy clothes. She’ll be busy chattering on about how much fun she had cantering every day on her favorite horse when we’ll call her dad on speaker phone.

Honey?
Yeah?
What do you feel like doing today?
I don’t know. I’m excited to see the dogs & cats. I’ve missed you guys. (I’m SURE she’s going to say how much she missed me.)
What would you say if I told you that we are getting on a plane in a few hours?
To California?
Yes. But better.
What???
Tonight, you and I are getting on a plane to San Francisco where we’ll meet up with your dad and sister and…are you ready for the best part?
YES!
We’re going to Disneyland!

Her mind may very well explode at this point so I’m going to have to be prepared to pull over and administer first aide. But do you think she’ll EVER forget a surprise of this magnitude? I think not.

And then I win Mother of the Year.

But before that, I have one more day with an empty nest and I intend on enjoying it. Food, fun & friends - it doesn’t get much better than that. Oh, and a 4 mile hike first thing in the morning. (God, I am SO OLD. A hike? Thrills me?)

Happy Fourth of July!!

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Wondering How Long the the Cat Porn Would Be Up, You Were

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Him: Hey honey…this may sound weird but is it possible that Max and Clyde aren’t male?
Me: Huh?
Him: Well, I was just home and around those two cats all week. I came back to Dick and the thing is…he’s got, um, a penis.

Me: Don’t Max and Clyde have penises?
Him: I don’t think so, honey. They have more of a traffic light…like a girl.
Me: Girls have traffic lights?
Him: Listen, all I can tell you is that Dick has a penis and I’m pretty sure Max and Clyde don’t.
Me: But they came with boy paperwork from the animal shelter!
Him: I know.
Me: They’ve been fixed. The doctors have to know what sex they are!
Him: I don’t know what to tell you…
Me: Send me a picture of Dick’s penis.
Him: What???
Me: I want to see what you’re talking about. Maybe Dick is just especially endowed. Or maybe they leave more when they fix cats in CA as opposed to VA.
Him: Dick is not like Max and Clyde. He will KILL me if I try to take crotch pictures of him.
Me: Ugh…fine. I’ll ask the internet.

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An Important Question

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…Is the beginning of a 5 day vacation (staycation) from my everyone who lives in this house. Almost. One daughter is at camp and the other left last night to join her father in San Francisco. The “almost” refers to my 18 year old nephew that is currently staying with us whom I love dearly but is seriously putting a cramp in my usual staycation non-wardrobe. (see last year)

…Is the final day you can enter to win a $100 Grocery Gift Card and Wish-Bone prize pack! Enter on my site and then go to the BlogHer review round-up page where you can enter for 2 more chances to win.

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Today…

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Hey,

Sorry I was so bitchy/snarky/catty last night. Apparently I am pmsing in new ways!

Just for the record (now that I am sober and have had my midol):

1. You are not the least bit redneck-y.
2. Your spin friend is very sweet. I was just trying to be funny.
3. I was an idiot for saying ____________. (insert anything else offensive I said or did that I don’t recall at the moment).
4. You are a gem of a friend for putting up with me sometimes. (other times, I’m awesome)

*deep breath in and out*

Now that that’s behind us, I hope we are still hiking on Thursday!

xo
Kimberly

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Why I Only Have A Few Close Friends

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No matter what you may think about him as a person and the way he lived his life, his music and his talents were magical.

I am grateful to him for sharing his gift with the world.

With me.



Michael, I will miss you.
Rest in Peace.

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Thanks for the Music

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