In order to provide some context for this ramble of mine, I need to explain a bit about the “Can Ban.” Late last year, the City of New Braunfels passed an ordinance banning all disposable containers from the Guadalupe and Comal rivers (inside the city limits). All in all, the ban was merely an extension of already current ordinances banning things like glass, styrofoam, etc. from the rivers. The extension came in the form of the ban of aluminum, (a.k.a., beer cans). Now I won’t get into my personal opinion on that particular issue in this post, but I will say that I think its a stupid, knee-jerk reaction. At the end of the day, the city council basically said that New Braunfels and its rivers have a litter problem caused by the hundreds of thousands of river-going tourists. Even after local river outfitters offered to pick up the tab on the yearly cleanup, many heated debates and a vote, the Can Ban was passed. The city cannot ban alcohol from the public water ways, but it appears that they can make it so hard to have it on the river that they virtually are.

Many local businesses fear that this ban will hurt them financially, and I personally agree with their fears. Not that you have to have beer to have a good time but…. Again, I will save that for another post. At the end of the day, the City of New Braunfels claims that it wants to control litter and its impact on the rivers. Being a pretty environmentally conscious person, I honestly have to say that I can support that too.

I will not claim to know the true intent of the people behind the NB Citizen. But as someone who truly cares about our environment and eco system, I feel like they need to take a different approach.

Below is a letter that I wrote to the NB Citizen:

First, I want to tell you that I believe in what you are doing. I think that creating this new “unbiased” forum for information in New Braunfels is a good thing. I read the article Roy Bragg (Express News) wrote about your publication and then picked up a copy during Wassailfest. So with that, great work.

The second part is this. This weekend I was walking through my neighborhood in New Braunfels, and saw several soaking wet NB citizens in the street and in peoples drive way. Several of which I picked up and put into the recycle bin. With that said, I dont know what the delivery scheme for your paper is, but the wasted papers I saw this weekend made me feel like you are becoming part of the problem, rather than the solution.

Let me clarify that a bit. As a graphic designer/web designer and someone who cares about conservation, its super wasteful. We all know that resources like paper and water are too valuable to be wasted in the street. So when I said, you are becoming part of the problem, I mean that from the stand point that this whole “can ban” boils down to waste. And you are creating more waste while trying to tell those who don’t agree that its a mistake.

I want to make it clear that I am not affiliated with the city or the herald or anything. Honestly, I’m just a dude that lives on the river. Not only that, but I’m a dude that voted AGAINST the ban.

I guess my overall point is that you have a great, informative website. Save some money and trees on papers that will end up in the street or in the river. Use that cash to promote the hell out of your site and print papers for interested people to pickup at retailers and what not. Just my thought on it. Good luck to you.

1. Have a bucket by your shower to catch water normally wasted while you’re waiting for the shower to warm up. I really like this one because the bucket serves two purposes. A. It makes for a good fresh water bowl for the dogs, and B. You can water house plants from the bucket.

2. Do the same as above with your kitchen sink. When we are getting ready to do the dishes, use a pot (dirty or otherwise because plants don’t mind a little bit of spaghetti in their water) to capture that sink water while you wait for it to warm up.

3. Capture condensation from your A/C return pipe. In the summer time in South Texas, we captured as much as 5 gallons per day of A/C condensation. Once again, great for plants. In the summer months, when I got that much water, I also used it to fill my water harvesting barrels for more long term storage and use.

4. Dog bowl water, and half-empty cups of water that you leave on the night stand all make good plant water. There’s no reason to throw that water down the drain. House plants aren’t terribly picky when they are thirsty.

I suppose the intention of this site is really just a way that isn’t facebook or twitter or something, for me to ramble on about things that matter to me. As Brad Lawton said recently, when people ask what he does, he says he’s a problem solver rather than a graphic designer.

In a society over saturated with what we jokingly call “graphics” designers, I, like Brad like to think of it as problem solving.

I just want an outlet to talk about cool shiz I see and hear. And who knows, it could help someone solve some problem.

As I got older and realized I didn’t actually know everything, I began to realize how much some of my dad’s habits actually made a lot of sense. For example, we took a road trip to Ohio when I was about 12 and my dad packed a tool box in the car. That’s not so odd, because after all, you never know when you might need some tools on an 1100 mile road trip. What was strange to me was that in that toolbox, he put a single piece of like 4 gauge wire. When I asked him what that piece of wire was for he said, “you never know when your gonna need a good piece of wire.” At age 12, needing a good piece of wire just in case made no sense. At 32 years old, it makes perfect sense.

So what does a good piece of wire have to do with rainwater harvesting? Well, my dad has always been a collector of things that you didn’t know you needed until you didn’t have it. I’m not saying he belongs on an episode of Hoarders, but he has a keen eye for useful stuff (some, including my mother may call it junk). He is the source for my blue barrels below, not to mention part of my inspiration for this project. Ill discuss that in a different post though.

I based my system off this guys

Its a simple rig really. Three plastic 55 gallon barrels next to each other catching rainwater from the gutter with some pvc pipe linking them all together so that they all fill equally. In case your dad doesn’t happen to have some barrels laying around to use, check your local hardware store or look for a soda/beer distributor. Either usually has them. The question is then, how much are you willing to spend? Ive seen them as low as $25 in some places. The other crucial thing to remember in acquiring barrels for rainwater storage is, what was in the barrels originally? Generally speaking, if it was some sort of food (pickles, jalapenos, etc.) they will be fine for storing and using the water on plants, edible and otherwise. Although you may get some spicy tomatoes if your watering from a barrel formerly home to say, jalapenos.

Ill walk you my process:

Step 1: Putting the barrels in place
There are two VERY important things that need to be done for you to not only capture the water, but to actually be able to use it. Assuming that you want to create something like my setup, your barrel(s) have to be level. The leveling will be crucial for the rest of the functions of the storage barrels. The second important need in this setup is height. Height = Gravity. To be quite honest, I don’t have the height where I want it yet but its a start. Height is important because in order to actually use that stored water you have to either have somewhere below the barrels to pour the water into a bucket or you have to have enough gravity to run the water down a hose.

I leveled the ground and used cinder blocks with 2×6 lumber to create a base. Its not attractive but since its on the backside of my house, I am satisfied with function over form at this point.

Step 2: Connecting the barrels
The best part of using the type of barrels I did is the fact that they already have two holes in the top side. Those holes should have threaded nylon caps in them. If they don’t already have the caps, they should be pretty easy to find. One of the two caps should have a threaded recess which in my case is 3/4″. After drilling a whole in the center of the recessed cap, I was able to thread a standard copper faucet into it. See below.

Each barrel has a copper faucet screwed into the threaded nylon cap. The barrels are then placed faucet side down on your level surface. Then the three are connected by 3/4″ pvc. I measured the distance between each new faucet and cut/connected pvc accordingly. There are all sorts of different fittings and connections for pvc pipe. I literally sat on the floor at Home Depot patching all my pieces together to make sure I got all the right fittings.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Have a sketch of your plan with good measurements before you go to get all your parts. Its a nightmare trying to figure it out on the fly. People look at you like an autistic child playing with pipe on the floor of the store if you don’t have an idea of what you need. Trust me!

From any point in your pvc rig, remember to create a spout with a valve so that you can actually get the water out of the barrels. All in all, I spent about $22 on pvc parts.

Step 3: Getting water in
This is the easy part. Find a small plastic flower pot and drill a half-dozen or so holes in the bottom of it. The flower pot is your strainer. The strainer is important because it keeps leaves and all the other crap from your gutters out of your water storage.

Choose a logical spot close to your gutter on one of your barrels to put a hole that is slightly larger than the base of the flower pot strainer you just made. The easiest way to make the hole for the strainer is with a drill and a hole saw.

Once you’ve got your hole made, pop your strainer in it to make sure it fits.

Step 4: From the gutter to the barrel
At this point, your almost ready to start doing your part for mother earth by conserving water. Attach an appropriately sized flexible gutter tube to the existing down spout in the gutter. Put the open end into your flower pot, and then EUREKA, your ready to save the earth…

Your going to find as you build this setup and get your first rain that things will need tweaking; sealing leaks from your gutter, uneven barrels, etc. My method is by no means scientific and I am constantly trying to improve it, but the important thing is that it works. Once you have that water stored, USE IT!

After knowing people well in the farming and ranching industry watch their losses mount due to the lack of rain and the Guadalupe river just 500 yards from my house dwindle down to a disgusting smelling swamp, it became real for me. Not to mention the equally historic wildfires all over the state of Texas. Granted, since moving in with my now fiance, I wasnt allowed to consider brown plants/grass as acceptable any longer. So naturally, I started to pay more attention to MY impact on the water shortage.

We live in a neighborhood with a lot of retirees whose only real goal in life anymore is to keep their grass green. Even if that meant sitting in a lawn chair and watering the lawn, just to get around the cities restrictions on allowed watering days. I cant even begin to imagine what some of these folks water bill was in the peak of the summer. It was troubling to me to see the water literally going down the street drain.

In June of this year, my fiance, who well call Lana (because thats her name) took me to a title=Tractor Supply href=http://www.tractorsupply.com/ target=_blankTractor Supply/a because she wanted to buy a rain water barrel. When we got to the store, the associate showed us where they were, and then I HAD to ask, excuse me maam, but does this model come with rain? The idea that Lana was buying a rain barrel at this time of year was a bit nutty in my opinion.

We bought it and from June to August, we got a total of half and inch of rain, and I think that might be a bit generous. But, that single 1/2 in shower we got filled our new 40 gallon rain barrel up so quick. And it was at that moment, when our barrel runeth over with clean rain water, that I was hooked. So that is where Water: My new obsession began. I cant wait to share my journey/experiments with whoever may be reading because its not only fascinating, but its the RIGHT THING TO DO for this planet.

So I dug deeper, and tried to think more about what might keep my attention and interest for that amount of time. When we were asked to share something interesting about ourselves I said that I was obsessed with coming up with the perfect rain water storage system. Then it hit me, I think that I’m pretty passionate about the environment. When running errands, I ride my bike as often as possible to help reduce emissions. I store rain water for watering plants in an effort to reduce our household usage. I keep a bucket by the shower to catch the water that would normally be wasted down the drain while it is heating up. That water makes great dog water! I have a compost pile to reduce our waste output while creating nutrient rich soil. I use a clothes line to dry my clothes because the sun is an excellent free dryer. I could go on and on.

This is my new obsession, habit, hobby, and overall way of living. A way of living I think more should more people should consider because our planet depends on it. So, does this constitute a solid thesis idea? Maybe. But, how in the hell does this idea apply to an MFA in ComDes? That I’m not sure of quite yet but I think I can get it there.

So I’ve got some ideas, some better than others, but overall, this thesis issue is a daunting task that I want to nail. Not only do I want to nail it, but in the words of Prof. Newton, i’ve got to be “passionate” about it. Hell, if i’m going to immerse myself in the task of completing my thesis, I damn sure better be passionate about it. At any rate, i’ve got a few ideas i’m kicking around and plan on sharing them with you, the digital public, for opinions. So, stayed tuned.

Well that my cracka’s is just a glimpse of what it’s like to be Phat Betsy por vida.

So what is it really then?

Its a longer story than it needs to be but here is the cliff notes. Phat Betsy was the name of a band (I use the term “band” loosely”) I was in high school. This is the part where the story tends to get longer than it needs to be. We decided on the name Phat Betsy because we were the less talented, phatter, uglier sister of Thin Lizzy, despite the fact that at that time we couldn’t play Green Day, much less Thin Lizzy. After our high school Guadalupe County tour consisting of roughly 2 or 3 actual gigs, the mighty Phat Betsy disbanded but remained legendary in our own minds for the next 10 years.

Hey douche bag, are you still trying to live the high school glory days or what by buying the domain?

You might think that at first but actually, no. Almost exactly 10 years later the band reformed, kinda. Some new members, marginally more talented and old enough to drink more than what we made at a given gig. Hence, a good reason to buy the domain. The PB reincarnate lasted about a year and Onni, Drew, Brock, K and myself had a kick ass time doing it. But all great things must come to an end, with the exception of my domain names expiration date…

Ways to Drive a Graphic Designer Mad

As everyone knows, graphic designers are the reason there are so many wars in this world. They get inside our heads with their subliminal advertising, force us against our will to spend money on the worst pieces of shit, and eventually, drive us to depression and random acts of violence. And of course, most of them are communists.

So to do my part to save the world from them, I made a list of things you can do when working with a graphic designer, to assure that they have a burn-out and leave this business FOREVER.

1-Microsoft Office
When you have to send a graphic designer a document, make sure it’s made with a program from Microsoft Office. PC version if possible. If you have to send pictures, you’ll have more success in driving them mad if, instead of just sending a jpeg or a raw camera file, you embed the pictures inside a Microsoft Office document like Word or PowerPoint. Don’t forget to lower the resolution to 72 dpi so that they’ll have to contact you again for a higher quality version. When you send them the “higher” version, make sure the size is at least 50% smaller. And if you’re using email to send the pictures, forget the attachment once in a while.

2-Fonts
If the graphic designer chooses Helvetica for a font, ask for Arial. If he chooses Arial, ask for Comic Sans. If he chooses Comic Sans, he’s already half-insane, so your job’s half done.

3-More is better
Let’s say you want a newsletter designed. Graphic designers will always try to leave white space everywhere. Large margins, the leading and kerning of text, etc. They will tell you that they do this because it’s easier to read, and leads to a more clean, professional look. But do not believe those lies. The reason they do this is to make the document bigger, with more pages, so that it costs you more at the print shop. Why do they do it? Because graphic designers hate you. They also eat babies. Uncooked, raw baby meat.  So make sure you ask them to put smaller margins and really, really small text. Many different fonts are also suggested (bonus if you ask for Comic Sans, Arial or Sand). Ask for clipart. Ask for many pictures (if you don’t know how to send them, refer to #1). They will try to argue, and defend their choices but don’t worry, in the end the client is always right and they will bow to your many requests.

4-Logos
If you have to send a graphic designer a logo for a particular project, let’s say of a sponsor or partner, be sure to have it really really small and in a low-res gif or jpeg format. Again, bonus points if you insert it in a Word document before sending it. Now you might think that would be enough but if you really want to be successful in lowering the mental stability of a graphic designer, do your best to send a version of the logo over a hard to cut-out background. Black or white backgrounds should be avoided, as they are easy to cut-out with the darken or lighten layer style in Photoshop. Once the graphic designer is done working on that bitmap logo, tell him you need it to be bigger.

If you need a custom made logo, make your own sketches on a napkin. Or better yet, make your 9 year old kid draw it. Your sketch shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to make. You don’t want to make something that’s detailed and easy to understand, because the less the designer understands what you want, the more you can make him change things afterwards. Never accept the first logo. Never accept the 9th, make him do many changes, colors, fonts & clip art. Ask him to add a picture in the logo. Bevels. Gradients. Comic Sans. And when he’s at his 10th attempt, tell him that you like the 2nd one the most. I know, it’s mean but remember: graphic designers are the cause of breast cancer among middle aged women.

5-Chosing your words When describing what you want in a design, make sure to use terms that don’t really mean anything. Terms like “jazz it up a bit” or “can you make it more webbish?”. “I would like the design to be beautiful” or “I prefer nice graphics, graphics that, you know, when you look at them you go: Those are nice graphics.” are other options. Don’t feel bad about it, you’ve got the right. In fact, it’s your duty because we all know that on full moons, graphic designers shape shift into werewolves.

6-Colors
The best way for you to pick colors (because you don’t want to let the graphic designer choose) is to write random colors on pieces of paper, put them in a hat and choose. The graphic designer will suggest to stay with 2-3 main colors at the most, but no. Choose as many as you like, and make sure to do the hat thing in front of him. While doing it, sing a very annoying song.

7-Deadlines
When it’s your turn to approve the design, take your time. There is no rush. Take two days. Take six. Just as long as when the deadline of the project approaches, you get back to the designer with more corrections and changes that he has time to make. After all, graphic designers are responsible for the 911 attacks.

8-Finish him
After you’ve applied this list on your victim, it is part of human nature (although some would argue weather they’re human or not) to get a bit insecure. As he realizes that he just can’t satisfy your needs, the graphic designer will most likely abandon all hopes of winning an argument and will just do whatever you tell him to do, without question. You want that in purple? Purple it is. Six different fonts? Sure!

You would think that at this point you have won, but don’t forget the goal of this: he has to quit this business. So be ready for the final blow: When making final decisions on colors, shapes, fonts, etc, tell him that you are disappointed by his lack of initiative. Tell him that after all, he is the designer and that he should be the one to put his expertise and talent at work, not you. That you were expecting more output and advices about design from him. Tell him you’ve had enough with his lack of creativity and that you would rather do your own layouts on Publisher instead of paying for his services. And there you go. You should have the graphic designer all tucked into a straight jacket in no time!