PHE: The Home Manager's Health and Beauty

Wardrobe for Soft Summers

2011-11-25T08:11:00.000-08:00

I'm somewhere between soft and light, and probably look better in clothing for women with light coloring than in clothing for softs. But, I like the colors this wardrobe was built around, even though it is for women with soft summer (soft, cool, and somewhat light). Some of the items may be a little too muted or soft for me to carry off well.

How about you? Do you look best in light, clear colors? Light muted or soft colors? Deep colors? Bright colors?

12 weeks to radiant, refreshed skin (I Hope) Otherwise kinown as Tackling skin aging and pre-cancer... Likewise Skin Care

2011-10-25T12:47:00.001-07:00

My almost 92 year old father has been battling pre-cancer and skin cancer since he was in his forties. As a young man, my father spent a lot of time outdoors in the South. Though his blue eyes are still bright and twinkling, and his skin is still rosily young for his age, he must undergo regular freezings, treatment with skin sloughing creams, and occasional surgery.

My mother, who could have been the model for beautiful Snow White, maintained her lovely complexion right up until she entered the illness that claimed her life. She, too, had an incidence of skin cancer,

So, here I am, product of the 70's, a time when we all slathered baby oil on our skins and baked until done. For someone with my skin genetics, this proved to be a bad idea. Fortunately, I quit lying out or trying to get a tan a long time ago. Even so, the effect of a youth spent in the sun is showing up on my skin.

I've decided to hit this head on. This fall, I'm tackling benign signs of aging, such as redness, as well as potentially more dangerous skin issues. Let's see if I make progress!

For my first step (after praying:)), I will use a sunscreen every day -- even in the winter, even when just popping out to walk the dog, even when making a quick run to the store, and even when just sitting at my desk by a sunny window. As an adult, I've been good about using sunscreen when I'm outdoors for longer than a half hour or so. I haven't been consistent with daily use, however. Now, my dermatologist has made it clear that consistency is the order of the day.

I use more than one brand of sunscreen, and I rotate sunscreens depending on what the day holds. However, this is the one my dermatologist particularly recommends for my type of skin (dry, sensitive). I plan to rely on it often:
I not only have the Likewise facial moisturizer/sun protectant, but also a Likewise moisturizer/sunscreen for the body.

Along with the two Likewise sunscreens, which I am already using, I purchased the Likewise face and body wash, as well. According to my dermatologist and the product label, this gently cleans and exfoliates.

Likewise products are said to be good for rosacea, as well, and it's possible that I do have mild rosacea. (That will be a second article). We'll see if these products clear away any bit of redness that the sun and time have painted on my face.

Step 2: Since I will be using so much sunscreen, I will need to check with my doctor about my blood levels of Vitamin D. I have been low in the past (along with everyone else in North America it seems.

A year or so ago, after reading a book about natural health, I tried to get all the Vitamin D I needed from the sun. I have the type of skin that can absorb all it needs in a mere 15 minutes. Unfortunately, I also have the type of skin that can begin to burn in 15 minutes, especially during Tennessee summers. So I have, for now at least, given up the idea that natural sun exposure is my best route to having great stores of Vitamin D.

Perhaps, you fare better in the sun. If so, you might remember this easy rule of thumb -- Fair skins absorb all the Vitamin D needed for a day within 15 minutes of sun exposure. After that, cover up and/or use sunscreens. Darkest ebony skins take slightly longer periods of time to absorb healthful sun, but only up to 30 minutes a day. No matter what your skin tone, it's not necessary to bake your skin to a crisp in order to reap the sun's benefits.

Step 3: I will stay in touch with my dermatologist. Today, my dermatologist took three small skin biopsies, and she applied liquid nitrogen to several spots. I also have some places on my arms that have been healing for three weeks, when she also applied liquid nitrogen.

Stay tuned for more experiments in skin care, as well as a recording of what progress I make.

Be lovely!

Inner and Outer Beauty -- Appreciating our Spiritual and Physical Blessings

2011-04-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

In her book, "A Woman's Path to Inner Beauty," Ginger Garret tells of time when an older woman said to her, "How you catch a man is how you have to keep him." Garret drew from this the fact that if, as a single woman, she focused all of her attention on her outer beauty and drew a man to her solely through that, she would create in a man the unrealistic expectation of always looking beautiful and young. If she drew a man to her whose main concern was outer beauty, she could face unhappiness as outer beauty began to be affected by age. However, if she focused on inner beauty and drew a man to her on that basis, her marriage would only grow through the years as a woman who follows the Lord continues to grow in inner beauty. If she married a man whose primary concern is godliness, the marriage would be built on firmer ground.

If we are single, it is wise to pay attention to how we present our outer selves. Let's be honest. As women, are we drawn to choose a mate who is slovenly, negligent, prone to avoidable health problems by unhealthy habits, unkempt, and the like? Likewise, men, who are hard-wired to appreciate the beauty of a healthy and well-kept woman, are drawn to women who do keep their appearance neat. This is being good stewards of the body God has given to us, not being in the dumps because we cannot meet the unrealistic beauty standards of a materialistic culture.

In the same way, once we are married, it is not fair to our spouse to indulge in neglect -- to become unkempt or negligent in our appearance. We do invest in marital happiness by paying a little attention to our looks and health. This signals to our husbands that we do care about them. It is one way of showing love. Again, we are to be good stewards of the bodies God has given us, rather than to bemoan the extra challenges that come with aging.

I've learned the hard way that neglecting your health and beauty in the vital decades of your thirties and forties makes it all the harder to get back health and a neat appearance when you are in your fifties. Not only that, but the woman who sets herself up to enter her middle years and beyond with the best possible health will be more productive than someone, like myself, who is struggling with chronic health issues. In my case, there is nothing I could have done to stop the health issues from developing, but much that I could have done to work with my health to keep them from being as ravaging as they are. The good news is that it's never too late to start where you are and improve.

Having said all of that, I find Ms. Garret's premise to be absolutely true. If you build the early years of your marriage on superficial things, time will erode the connections you have unless you start where you are and build deeper connections. If, however, your marriage is based on eternal things, your marriage will only grow deeper and sweeter over time. I'm so thankful that my husband has been a good example in this. He sees beyond my surface appearance to my heart and my soul and my mind. The spiritual values we share grow deeper through the years.

The illustration above is a word cloud that I was playing around with listing buzz words from a few Bible verses, including Phil. 4:4-8. In this wonderful verse, we are presented with qualities that make good food for mediation. A mind that dwells on these things will emanate a loveliness that cannot be defined in purely physical terms.

Because our society exaggerates the natural attraction of physical beauty and places a level of importance on it that it simply cannot bear, we are all tempted at one stage or another of our lives to become insecure about outward looks. Keeping in mind that eternal, inner beauty is the only truly lasting beauty helps us to be secure. We can be secure when we are preteens and just learning how to live in maturing bodies. We can be secure when we are in the prime of our years. We can be secure when we start seeing time march across our faces and bodies, leaving its footprints. If we are secure inside, making our outsides as modestly lovely as we can becomes a more pleasurable process. We are not desperate to live up to some unattainable standard. We are simply caring for the wonderful bodies God has given to us to dwell in on this side of heaven.

When we are secure in heart, we can appreciate all of the wonderful things our bodies can do. Our hands, for example, can work and serve and love and comfort. Our eyes can see and notice and appreciate and move us to concern. Our ears can hear and love music and take in wise words and provide a way of caring to someone in need of being heard. Our mouths can speak words that encourage, enjoy foods, sing praises, and recite poetry. The list of good things our bodies can do is long and lovely.

14 days to better skin -- Palmolive, doctors, and hope in a jar/bar of soap

2011-04-16T19:13:00.001-07:00

I've noticed and even sampled several anti-aging products that promise younger, smoother, or otherwise prettier skin in periods of 2 weeks to a month. Today's product claims sound credible -- because of new understandings of the benefits of ingredients like retinal and other alphahydroxy acids, as well as new methods of formulation which supposedly allow vitamins to be absorbed into the skin.

Yet, in looking at some vintage ads, such as the one to the right, I found that there were many ads for Palmolive soap through the years which claimed that doctors proved that if you used Palmolive soap, you could have lovelier skin in 14 days. These ads are from days well before the age of modern cosmaseuticals.

Camay evidently had similar ads promising that you could have beautiful skin after using just one bar of Camay.

According to a book containing research from many home economics books, women in the early part of the 20th century had methods for exfoliating the skin (I don't know if they called it that) with a wash cloth and soap.

In young healthy skin, the cells turnover about evey 21 to 28 days. As we age and also are exposed to the weather, the sun, and other things in the enviornment, our skin begins to slow down its cell turnover rate. Older, duller, damaged skin cells stay on the surface longer, causing our skin to appear duller. Many older and many newer skin products do work by stripping away this layer of old dull skin. They also cause very mild skin damage which causes the skin to respond by increasing circulation and skin cell production. The goal is to re-create the healthy skin cell turnover rate seen in the very young. Thus, decades worth of products have held out the promise that we might, indeed, see younger -- or at least prettier -- skin in the mirror after just 2 to 4 weeks.

Whether every product that makes this claim delivers or not, I cannot say for certain. Nor, can I say for sure that our modern products are better than our grandmother's soap or cold cream and wash cloth, though I do think that there is reason to believe they are more advanced. Whatever method or product we might try, it's nice to think that pampering the skin for three weeks or so could produce a visible change in our appearance.

Some women, myself, included, have to be careful about using some of the stronger products in today's skin care offerings. I have been trying out the CVS Skin Effects line to see if it will work with my sensitive skin. Of course, the best skin product is a good sunscreen, and I buy mine from my dermatologist.

The author of the Japanse Skin Care revolution promotes a lovely, gentle, and potentially inexpensive method of giving yourself a skin mask. This is more of a hydrating technique. Check it out if you are interested in skin care.

What skin care products and methods do you use?

Health and Beauty to You!

What was Grace Kelly's favorite perfume?

2011-04-12T13:48:00.001-07:00

Did you know that Grace Kelly's husband, Prince Ranier, commissoned the House of Creed to make a perfume for Grace for a wedding present? The perfume is the famous "Fleurissimo".

Note: While Fleurissimo is still available today, perfume companies do change their formulas slightly over time to account for changes in available ingredients, public taste, etc. Not having been around when Fleurissimo was first invented, I don't know if it still smells exactly as it did when Grace wore it. However, it's still a lovely thought that we might enjoy a bit of her elegance through this famous perfume. Fleur, of course, means flower.

Conflicting reports about vitamins

2011-04-08T07:28:00.000-07:00

We all know that getting our vitamins and minerals from foods is the best way. However, I, along with everyone else in the U.S., have been prescribed Vitamin D. I also was advised to take iron when I was younger and borderline anemic. Doctors have also suggested Vitamin E, calcium, and Niaspan (a prescription drug derived from high doses of niacin) at times, and I still take fish oil supplements on doctor's recommendations. Many doctors also say that taking a multivitamin (not one with mega doses) is ok.

I'm sure I needed the Vitamin D and probably should still be taking it, though I'm not the best at remembering to. We get Vitamin D from the sun. However, I am fair-skinned, with a history of skin cancer on both sides of my family, and I try to be good about wearing sun screen. I am really careful each time I take my father to the dermatologist to have what seems like half of his body sprayed down with liquid nitrogen. Also watching large cancers being cut out of his scalp seems to make me reach for the bottle of sun screen. I used to think my last words to my equally fair skinned children would be, "Wear your sun screen!", but they are adults now and must make their own decisions. If, however, you want to track down my daughter and daughter-in-law and warn them not to climb into tanning machines, you have my permission. :)

I have tried a lot of different kinds of vitamins and have a shelf full of still-in-date ones that I have promised myself I will work through. The vitamin that makes me feel the best is Emergen-C, probably because of the magnesium in it. I do seem to feel better if I have just a little supplemental magnesium and sometimes take supplements with calcium and magnesium in them. I'm not endorsing Emergen-C or calcium supplements. If you take too much magnesium, it can dangerously affect your heart rate and also give you diarrhea. Plus, there are conflicting reports about whether it's safe to take Vitamin C or not. I'm just saying that I seem to have a little more energy when I do take it. After I work through all of the vitamins on my vitamin shelf, I don't know if I will buy more or not.

This matter of conflicting reports about the usefulness and/or safety of vitamin supplements is confusing -- at least to me. Here are a smattering of links I've gathered in case you'd like to research the topic along with me.

Multivitamin Use May Have No Effect in Post-Menopausal Women.
Risks of Taking Common Vitamin Supplements -- Some May Actually Increase Risk of Death
Organic Foods May not Have As Many Vitamins as Those Grown with Pesticides
Discussion of Risks/Benefits Vitamin D from Vegan perspective -- how to get Vit. D from sun
(I'm not vegan, but good article for vegans and even those of us who aren't)
How much Vitamin D/Calcium
Calcium Supplements May Cause Heart Attacks
Dr. Oz advice re calcium
Reuters: Vitamin C, E do little to cut heart risk
Study says Vitaman C does have positive effect heart
Mega-Doses Vitamin C cause hardening of arteries
Who should take Vitamin B-12 supplements?
10 common vitamins not to take without doctor's orders
What vitamins should you take?
10 Vitamins you should be taking -- take for particular needs

As you can see from just this sampling, there are a variety of opinions about which vitamin supplements you should take or if you should take vitamins at all. I would suggest that the Internet isn't the most reliable source of health information. I do believe in the old advice about discussing the vitamins you take with a doctor you trust. The media, including the Internet, tends to target the latest study and that often not very well A doctor has more of a broad look at all the research and the years of training and experience with which to interpret the data.

Research into the use of vitamin supplements is interpreted in the media according to the philosophy of the author. Some are highly skeptical of the vitamin industry; others are biased toward the vitamin industry. Some people believe strongly that adding vitamins to a healthy lifestyle is the way to go; others believe just as strongly that vitamins are useless and even harmful for those who are living a healthy lifestyle. Some people mistrust medical science and tend to believe any claims made by alternative practitioners; others mistrust the claims of alternative practitioners and believe only research backed up by credible science. Others fall somewhere in between and are just trying to find the best way to feel and to be healthy.

Vitamin supplements and cosmetics are marketed to us in ways that appeal to our desire to feel and look wonderful at every moment. Advertising for these products often grabs our emotions and our senses in such a way that we want to believe whatever fabulous claim the product is making. I know I'm susceptible to some claims. However, when it comes to popping pills, we should use caution, I think.

How about you? What do you make of all the vitamin research? Do you take vitamin supplements? If so, have you found them to give you increased health and energy?

I'd love to hear what your vitamin experiences are.

Good health to you!

A super-minimalist wardrobe

2011-04-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

Do you want to create a very minimalist, truly streamlined mix-and-match wardrobe. Check out this video from Money Saving Mom. Notice how much she accomplishes in her wardrobe with a very few pieces. Actually, even if we a lot of items in our wardrobe, we all tend to reach for about this many key items on a daily basis, anyway. So, even if you don't want to pare down as much as Money Saving Mom has, you'll benefit from seeing how she puts her basic outfits together. If you're looking to pare down your closet, create a wardrobe that's quick and easy, or build a wardrobe on a budget, I think you'll enjoy the ideas in this video.

Interesting post and video about conflict mothers have today over how daughters are dressing

2011-03-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Their own mothers will pimp them out.

Physical health and appearance as a gift of love.

2011-03-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

"We should try to maximize our physical attractiveness, not as an egotistical discipline intended to bring attention to ourselves, but as a selfless act of giving for the benefit of our current mate -- or future mate if we are still single. Our bodies are a stewardship. We should plan to show up on our marriage night with the most pleasant body possible for the sake of our spouse. We should continue to observe self-restraint after marriage, also for the sake of our spouse. We want to give our spouse the most pleasing gift possible when we take him or her into our arms. Although we don't want to fall into the modern trap of lavishing extraordinary attention on looking good and maintaining a movie star physique, it is right to do what we can to maintain our health and appearance and to stay as attractive as we can. Being a Christian is not an excuse for presenting our spouse with a neglected body.

"However, beyond this obvious point, have we also considered that something is even more important than enhancing our bodies? if we understand God's point of view, we realize that we need to protect our minds and our spirits in the sexual area."

From The Myth of Romance by Dennis McCallum and Gary DeLashmutt

Little Helps from Target

2011-03-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

Here are some little fashion helps for modesty and comfort that you can find at many lingerie stores and departments or through the Internet. I was delighted to find that you can also snap them up at Target.

I love the Strap Tamers. They are basically plastic coated safety pins that are the right size and shape for pinning
your bra straps to the inside top of a garment's shoulder.
They keep your bra straps from falling or showing and are very comfortable to wear. The directions say that you can
leave them in place and launder the garment as is, but I haven't tried that.

The heart shaped clasps are another option for keeping bra straps from showing. You thread both straps through the clasp, which sits in the middle of your back above your bra strap.

The double-sided tape allows you to tape the top of your blouse to your chest so that your top does not fall open when you bend over.

So far, I have purchased only the strap tamers, but intend to stock up on the other items, as well.

Enjoy!

Being unselfish with food...

2011-03-18T18:13:00.003-07:00

Most authentically beautiful and healthful things involve decisions to be unselfish rather than selfish. The same can be true with eating.

How do we choose to be unselfish in our eating?

1) Let others go first, especially when standing in a buffet line. Serve others first before yourself. Don't go for seconds until you are sure that others have eaten well first. Let others have the choicest portions or the largest servings.
2) Cook with love; think of what will be nourishing and comforting to others.
3) Use manners when eating. You don't have to follow formal etiquette. Do, however, follow the basics our mothers taught us: Chew with your mouth closed. Spoon soup by dipping the spoon into the soup and moving it away from you and up. Don't slurp. Don't chew ice. Don't talk with your mouth full. Do this even when you are eating alone. After all, manners are built by what we habitually do at home or when alone. Also, you will feel better about yourself if you maintain manners for yourself.
4) Listen attentively to mealtime conversations. Don't be distracted by looking at your cell phone, receiving or sending texts, looking at a TV or newspaper, etc. Don't interrupt when others talk. Ask thoughtful questions. Enjoy the conversation and the companionship as much as you enjoy the food.
5) Set a pretty table.

As a side benefit of being unselfish, you will slow down your own eating and avoid over-consumption.

Eating Well, Eating for Health

2011-03-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

Last night, I prepared dinner in a hurry. I had not planned my day well. I received a phone call from a friend who is undergoing a very serious life issue at the moment, and, rather than praying and surrendering my friend's situation to the Lord, I became distracted in mind. Fortunately, I had planned my meal ahead of time, so it didn't require much for me to prepare it.

My husband came home from work, and we prepared to eat. We needed to eat by a certain time so that we could arrive at a meeting on time. Wouldn't you know that I received a phone call from a second friend, this time about a serious issue concerning her darling child? This situation caused me to mourn for what the family is going through, although I have good hope that that God will work in the situation for the best. Again, I didn't take the time to pray and fully surrender my concern to the Lord. Instead, I unloaded these problems on my husband.

So, as I sat down to eat, I was ravenous, distracted, and conscious of our time limit. I ate too quickly. As we all know, if you eat quickly 1) you don't digest your food as well and 2) you will tend to overeat, as your brain does not have time to register satisfaction.

I don't know that you can always avoid interruptions of a serious nature at dinner time. We read in the gospels of a time when Jesus and the twelve were so busy healing people that they did not have time to eat. Likewise, when Jesus was tired and hungry, he took time out to speak to the Samaritan woman who came to draw water at the well. Serving the Lord and caring deeply about other people means that sometimes we will need to put the needs of the hurting ahead of our comfortable daily schedule. That includes our allotted meal times, as well.

However, I can look back at yesterday's situation and learn some lessons:

1) Even when you are on a tight schedule, always take at least a little time to pray about any burdens on your heart. Let the Lord comfort you if you are mourning. Hand over any worries to Him, as well.
2) It may not always be wise to eat in the grip of strong emotion. The body sometimes sends signals that it doesn't want the extra burden of digesting food in such moments. If you live in the U.S. or other developed countries, likely you have plenty of food. Missing one meal or eating only a small quantity of one meal is not going to harm you. If you are going somewhere, you can even take along a little snack in case you do become hungry later.
3) Always eat slowly. Again, just because you may be on shorter on time than usual, that doesn't mean you have to rush your food. Better to eat a little bit slowly than to gobble whole portions down.
4) I could have timed telling my husband about these problems after he finished his meal, so that he could eat in peace. These weren't situations that could be fixed in five minutes.
5) Maintaining a peaceful spirit makes for better digestion, for eating only what you need to keep your body going, and for health in general.

Thanks for reading.

Health to you!

Food, Diet, and Moderation...

2011-03-11T09:52:00.001-08:00

I'm so grateful that God has given us sorts of delightful foods to enjoy. I Timothy 4:4 tells us, "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,"

Yet, at the same time, God urges us to moderation. In Proverbs 23:20-21, He warns us not to join with those who gorge themselves on too much food, "for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags."

Isn't that the truth? I've found that when I overeat, especially if the meal is heavy in carbohydrates, I do lose energy.

For me, three roots over eating too frequently or eating too much at one meal are
1) I am actually trying to increase my energy. Sometimes, a snack or meal, especially one containing a little protein, does reduce physical fatigue. However, trying to find energy in food when you are already well-fed backfires. I have an auto-immune thyroid condition which causes deep fatigue, along with some other energy-draining health issues. Thus, I sometimes snack for comfort and in an attempt to feel better. I particularly give in to my made-up assumption that chocolate must be medicinal!
2) I am simply being greedy.
3) I eat on the run and eat too quickly.

Many eating/diet plans, such as the popular, French Women Don't Get Fat, actually work because they encourage moderate consumption. Rather than depriving you of all the things you enjoy or laying out a strict eating regimen, they help you balance what you do eat so that your diet is healthy for you.

Even so, I find that with my autoimmune thyroid problem, I will have to make sacrifices in order to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. Thus, I need some strong intrinsic (inner) motivation to eat correctly.

One lesson that God is writing on my heart right now is from John 6:1-71. Among the truths presented there is the fact that Jesus is our spiritual bread -- in other words, He is our spiritual nourishment.

"Jesus answered them and said, "Truly, truly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled. Do not work for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will gives to you, for on Him the Father, God, has set His seal."

"Truly, truly I say to you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread out of heaven, but it is My Father who gives you the true bread out of heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down out of heaven, and gives life to the world." vs. 32-33

"This is the bread which came down out of heaven; not as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live forever." vs. 58

"It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life." vs. 68

God does give us physical food for our nourishment and for our enjoyment. Those of us who have an abundance are to share with those in need. Since, the hungry comprise a good deal of the world, giving to others should be dear to our hearts.

Likewise, God gives us spiritual food for our nourishment and our joy, and this food is more important even than physical food. This temporal body will perish, and we will one day be clothed in new bodies. The nourishment for our soul and spirit lasts forever.

The people who followed Jesus because He miraculously fed the 5,000 were on to the fact that He was the awaited Messiah. In fact, they wanted to come and make him king, right then. They were thinking in terms of renewing earthly Israel, rather than in ushering in a spiritual, eternal kingdom. They did not quite understand the concept that the Messiah was also to be the suffering servant of Isaiah, who would lay down His life for us. They had in mind the dreams of men and not God's dreams.

In the same way, we can busy ourselves with our little physical kingdoms and neglect the more vital spiritual kingdom. We can also focus more on caring for our physical nature than we crave God's kingdom and His righteousness. When we suffer, even so lightly as can hardly be called suffering, we turn to physical things rather than to Jesus for comfort.

Or, we try to establish our own righteousness, which ends in frustration. As Paul said in Romans 6 and 7, the good he wanted to do he didn't and the bad that he did not want to do, he did. That pretty much sums up our lives when we are depending on ourselves.

Where is the answer? "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!". Romans 7:25.

..."The mind set on the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:6

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink....But seek first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." From Matthew 6:16-34.

Thanks for reading!

100 Free Ways to Add a little style to your life....

2010-08-19T15:07:00.001-07:00

66. Have efficient routines for getting ready and out the door; also for shopping and tending to details of life; know what looks good on you so you can spot it in an instant -- whether it's in your closet or in a store. It's fun to play with our looks and also to learn what we can about taking care of ourselves as we move through the stages of life. We also like to take extra time getting ready for special occasions. However, for daily life, we need routines and organizations that can help us present ourselves well quickly and, then, to get on with the more important things of life.

67. The signature -- one way of thinking about style is to have a signature. This can be a signature scent, a signature fashion silhouette a signature fashion personality (ladylike, romantic, boho, sporty, dramatic, etc.) a signature piece or type of jewelry; a favorite flower; a stamp that you use on notes; personal stationary. Some women don't like signature statements because they enjoy change too much to settle on one thing. Others, however, enjoy developing signature style. As long as you don't let your signature become a rut, have fun with it. You can keep a signature fresh by thinking about what the essence of your signature is and choosing new things that have that same essence once in a while. For example, if your signature is beautiful long hair, update the way it's cut now and again.

58. Set out to really love at least 12 close people in your life, including your spouse and children and a few close friends of different ages. Enjoy spontaneous moments with them, but also be intentional. Pray and think about these people and what they need.

68. If you get the sudden urge to make a drastic change to your hair, wait for a few days before acting on it. The great thing about hair is that whatever you do to it, it will grow back. However, the process may take a while. Make sure it's what you really want to do and not a whim.

69. Think doubly hard before cutting your hair short. We women are conditioned to believe that after a certain age, even as young as twenty-one, we should cut our hair short. We also think that short hair will be easier to keep when we enter the years of child-rearing and other responsibilities. Men do not think this way, however. Many a man is disappointed when his wife cuts her hair right after marriage or right after having a first child.

If we think about it, that's not so strange. After all, our hair is one of the most powerful symbols of our femininity. In earlier eras, it was considered a woman's crowning glory. It was not until the 1920's, when film stars cut their hair to look more youthful under the harsh lights of that era's movie sets, that short hair fads began.

After you give it some thought, you may still opt for a short do. However, at least consider the possibility of having longer and softer looking hair.

70. Fast from media images for a time -- say a month or so. You'll be more comfortable in your own skin if you are not comparing yourself to the images that the media present. It's fine to tune in just long enough to know what's in style, but it's not helpful to imbibe a steady diet of what Madison Avenue and Hollywood deem to be beautiful.

100 Free Ways to Add a little style to your life....

2010-08-10T14:59:00.000-07:00

Fashion is in the clothes; Style is in the wearer.
Hara Estoff Marano

Fashions fade; style lasts forever.
Yves St. Laurent

61. note to self: Acquire temperance: This quality allows you to enjoy pleasures, such as eating, without being done in by them. The person who is temperate in eating will not have to try a myriad of diets or cut out certain foods altogether, because they will moderate their intake.

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. Mother Teresa

62. Take an afternoon once in a while to have fun with your looks. Try new hairstyles. Sort through your closet and combine clothes in new ways.

“If you haven't cried, your eyes can't be beautiful.”
Sophia Loren

63. Review clear ways of speaking and writing. All of our tools for instant communication are wonderful. However, in habitually using the informal lingo of Twitter and email, we can become sloppy in our grammar, spelling, and choice of words. We need to keep our language skills in shape in order to communicate effectively in personal conversation and in written letters or documents.

64. Dress so as to highlight you and not your clothes.

65. Be authentic and humble, not pretentious.

Enjoy!

100 Free Ways to Add a little style to your life....

2010-08-10T11:16:00.001-07:00

Life has loveliness to sell, all beautiful and splendid things, blue waves whitened on a cliff, soaring fire that sways and sings, and children's faces looking up, holding wonder like a cup. Sara Teasdale

56. Organize from the inside out -- first, the heart and mind, then bedroom, bath, and closet, and then desk and calendar, and so forth. Keep the spaces nearest to you tidy and pleasant. Also, pay attention to your "command centers", the places from which you operate your life. A desk, a kitchen, or even your car could be your "command center", depending on the flow of your daily life.

57. For an instant fashion pick-me-up, polish shoes and purses.

58. Gently use a toothbrush and a bit of mild soap (like Woolite) to whiten lace, lingerie straps, etc.

59. Remember, a stitch in time really does save nine. Tend to spots, loose or broken stitches, loose buttons, pilling as soon as you possibly can.

60. Remember, the bed-head look is hard to pull off, unless you have a perfect and young face and have an entourage of make-up pros and hair stylists following you around. Most of us look better with a neat hair-do. Wavy-haired girls can get away with a little more tousled look, but even that must be artfully done.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Eleanor Roosevelt

100 Free Ways to Add a little style to your life....

2010-08-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

51. Learn the forgotten art of saying no to oneself. We're not talking about self-denial for self-denial's sake, but the ability to deny oneself for a greater good. A life well lived takes discipline, of which is judicious self-denial.

I am a spiritual being... After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ.
Max Lucado

52. Make it a practice to be punctual. It's hard to look and feel elegant when you are rushing in at the last moment. Also, if you make the effort, others will appreciate the fact that you respect their time.

53. Clean out your purse and other bags, briefcases, totes, etc., often. I know from not-so- stylish experience that nothing spoils a look like having to dig in a crammed bag for something.

54. Keep your car reasonably neat and clean. This is another lesson from my own experience!

55. Take 1 or 2 minute stretch breaks now and again throughout the day. This is in addition to your usual stretching routine. Short breaks will help your circulation, keep your muscles from knotting up, and, perhaps, keep your spirits high.

enjoy!

100 Free Ways to Add a little style to your life....

2010-07-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

42. Create a play list or CD of music that you find to be romantic or that creates a particular ambiance that you want to create. Better yet, create different ones for different moods.
43. Be secure enough to hold firmly to your convictions against pressure, yet do so with gentleness. There are occasions that demand a little righteous indignation, but make sure that your indignation is truly righteous and not selfish or petty. Let any righteous indignation spur you to do what you can to make things better.
44. Be well-mannered and considerate of others. The goal of being well-mannered is to be considerate of others. Manners are like an oil that can be applied in everyday situations to prevent unnecessary friction. Every person of principle will face times of necessary friction, when one must hold to an unpopular conviction. However, there is no virtue in making sparks by being thoughtlessly rude. Most of us need to spruce up our knowledge of etiquette every now and again. It's great to read a book about manners and etiquette that was written sometime between the 1930's to 60's and one that is up-to-date, with guidelines for twittering, texting, and the like. Between two such tomes, you should glean enough about etiquette to handle the daily events of life with tact. Again, manners stand out in today's world.
45. If you are married and have small children, do your best to make time for your marriage. Children benefit when a husband and wife keep their relationship happy and loving. Also, children will grow up, while you and your husband will continue to live together and build on the relationship you created during the years your children were in the home. It may seem impossible to balance being a wife and being a mother. You may be so exhausted you can't even think of keeping your friendship with your husband alive, much less taking time for romance. But, if you find creative ways to make time just for you and hubby, you'll be a happier mother.
46. Pick your battles wisely. The woman who gets upset over every little thing only makes herself and those around her unhappy. The woman who lets her anger fly without judgment wounds herself and her family. The woman who nags about petty things again makes herself and others around her unhappy. Nagging, snapping, and carrying a chip on your shoulder are ineffective ways to deal with others. When an issue arises, ask yourself if this is something that is really worth confronting someone about. It might be or it might not be. At least ask yourself the question. If you find yourself becoming contentious over a great number of things, ask yourself why. Chances are, you are not at peace within yourself and need to deal with your own heart.
47. Find what is good in others and learn how to draw out another's best qualities.
48. Be warm and open.
49. Live in the moment.
50. Don't forget to have fun. Being a woman, wife, and mother in today's world can be stressful. Sometimes, women lose their sense of humor under pressure, and they also feel that they shouldn't take time to play. If their husband or children suggest fun times, they may even put down their ideas. Yet, it's healthy to include fun times in your life. If you are too busy to enjoy life with your loved ones, you are probably too busy period.

Enjoy!

100 Free Ways to Add a little style to your life....

2010-07-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

31) bien dans sa ame -- Be well in your soul; attend to your soul's well-being. It's the only way you can truly be bien dans sa peau, that quality of well-being and feeling at ease in one's skin that is b beauty secret prized by French and Italian women.

32) bien dans sa peau -- French and Italian women rate feeling at home in one's skin, or being poised, or having a sense of well-being and confidence as one of their greatest beauty secrets. See above.

33) Prize skin care over makeup -- A little makeup does wonders, but it works best if your skin is radiant and you apply your makeup sparingly. Take the time to put on your sunscreen, clean and moisturize your face before bed at night. Since we're talking about the intangibles of beauty here, don't forget that you probably have some of the best skin aids on hand in your kitchen. Olive oil and coconut oil, for examples, are two powerhouses for the skin. Also, learn how to give yourself a home facial. When it is time to spend money, search out reviews for skin creams, cleansers, etc. Price and hype are not the best indicators of which skin care items are best. Study and spend your money wisely. Also, for me at least, pretty cosmetics are more tempting to buy than the skin care basics, but, again, cosmetics are best used only as slight enhancers to beautiful skin. Also, if you notice anything concerning about your skin or you are past a certain age, don't forget to visit a dermatologist. Make sure that you get a check-up once in a while to catch any little skin cancers or pre-cancers that might be forming.

34) Deep condition your hair with olive oil or coconut oil. Shampoo hair. Towel dry gently. Apply the oil to damp hair. Be careful not to apply too much. With a little experimentation, you should be able to tell how much to put on your hair. Tuck hair into a plastic shower cap so that the cap will retain the heat from your scalp. Wear at least an hour. Rinse the oil clean.

35) Use olive oil or coconut oil as a cuticle softener.

36) If you have an oily scalp or flat hair near the scalp, apply any conditioner that you use from the ears down only. Concentrate most of the conditioner near the ends, which are the most damaged part of your hair.

37) Dry scalp? Condition scalp as well as hair.

38) If you have very long hair, coat your palms with an oil, such as olive, and gently pat the ends of your hair. Don't use too much. This is a leave-in treatment for your ends. Use just enough to protect the damaged ends without the oil being really visible.

39) Another way to apply oil as a deep conditioner is to mix it with water in a spray bottle. Spray it on and leave it in overnight. Shampoo and style as usual in the morning.

40) Learn something new now and again. Learn something that is interesting to you. This adds to loveliness in many ways. It helps to keep your brain healthy as you move through the ages and stages of life. The excitement gives you a bit of a glow. It helps you from falling into a dull rut. With all the access we have to information in our day, we have no excuse not to keep developing our interests.

41) Keep up with a few topics that are good for conversation. You don't have to become an expert unless you want to. Just learn enough to ask some informed questions or to make a comment or two. Learn enough that you can share in the interests of others in your life. For example, even if you don't like sports, chances are your dear hubby does, and there are likely others in your life who like sports, as well. You don't have to turn into a sports fanatic, but you can learn enough to at least keep up with major happenings. In fact, those who enjoy sports will enjoy sharing their knowledge with you if you learn enough to know some questions to ask. Taking an interest in topics that others like not only helps you to relate to other people, but you just might find a topic that interests you more than you thought it did.

100 Free Ways to Add a little style to your life....

2010-07-21T09:04:00.001-07:00

21) Edit. -- The lovely woman knows how to edit her thoughts, her words, her wardrobe, and the things in her surroundings. Choose a little of what is best over a lot of things that are "Ok". Go for quality over quantity. De-clutter. Neaten. Don't forget to be creative. If you have a skillful eye, you might notice quality where others overlook it. For example, you might realize that the worn piece of furniture that was donated to a thrift shop has better basic quality than a brand new item from a discount store. With a little know-how and elbow grease, you might be able to restore the thrift store item to a piece of real beauty.

22) Cook with love. Learn to cook well. Ideally, the keeper of the home prepares most meals herself. However, if you don't have much time in your life to cook or you don't especially enjoy cooking, at least learn to cook a few signature dishes. Also, learn how to combine fresh ingredients with commercially prepared foods to increase taste and health. If you cook most of the time, have a plan for putting together an improvised meal in an emergency. Also, if you are already an accomplished cook, you can still learn something new to take your ability to an even higher level. When you do cook, put love into it.

Cooking is pleasure and an integral part of what is called l’équilibre alimentaire, a balanced approach to eating. Mireille Guiliano

Cooking is conviviality and sharing, especially when cooking with others—a spouse, a friend, or children. Mireille Guiliano

Love is patient and kind, Love is not jealous, conceited, proud or boastful, it is not arrogant, selfish, irritable or rude. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth, Love never gives up, and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal.''

- 1 corinthians 13

23) Write thank you notes and attend to invitations with R.S.V.P. written on them. Old-fashioned courtesy stands out in today's world.

24) Practice five new ways to do your hair with the cut that you currently have.

25) Review your days, weeks, months. Are there things you did and wished you didn't do? Are there things that you need to make right? Are there things you left undone? Are little urgent things pushing you along, while you don't make time for the things that really matter to you? Are you living according to your purpose? What can you do to make time for loved ones? The goal is not to beat yourself up, but to keep yourself on track.

26) Don't fret about the past or worry about tomorrow. Live today well.

27) Take time out to have fun. Take time to relax. Take time to enjoy your loved ones. If you are the type of person who lives at high speed and who stays ultra-busy, you may have to schedule this on the calendar.

28) Celebrate being a woman.

29) Accept your age and stage in life and physical features that you cannot change. Forgive others and seek and accept forgiveness for yourself. To paraphrase the "Serenity Prayer", accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can and want to change and ask God for wisdom to help you know the difference. Don't envy others or wish to be someone other than who you are. This will help you to be mentally poised and comfortable in your own skin.

30) Notice and nurture children. Do this for your own children and for the children of others.

Enjoy!

100 Free Ways to Add a little style to your life....

2010-07-20T15:55:00.001-07:00

16) Value God over style. Value people over style. Value substance over style. Have a grand passion in life, preferably loving God. Style comes across as fake and self-centered if it's not founded on substance and genuine caring for others. Yes, we have to work at the externals in order to be lovely. However, style is often a by-product in our lives, rather than a means to its own end. Style is a little bit like happiness in that the more you pursue it for its own sake, the further away you get from truly having it. But, if you pursue a purpose that is greater than you are and if you put others first, you will likely naturally develop your own particular style.

The great value of life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.

- James Truslow Adams

17) Make a list of fun free things to do in your area. Knowing how to get up a fun event is always an asset to style. Since we're keeping this on the cheap, search out fun and free things that you and your certain someone or you and your friends or you and your family can do together. Every place has some things to do that are free and fun, even if it's only a particularly pretty spot for a picnic.

18) Exercise. You knew this was going to be on the list, didn't you? We all know about the health, beauty, and mood-enhancing benefits of exercise. The trick is to do it consistently. Many methods of exercise don't cost anything.

19) Stretch. Stretch keeps you lithe, and it helps you move in a way that is youthful. The older you are, the more you need to stretch. Also, stretching can help reverse today's postural problems that result from hunching over computers and phones and the like. It's also beneficial when you travel, because sitting too long without stretching can actually be harmful to the body. Taking a break now and again to do subtle little stretches will help your health, beauty, and state of mind on a long trip, especially if you are flying.

20) Linger over your meals and chew your food thoroughly. Eating on the run means that you consume your food so quickly that your body doesn't have time to register that it is satisfied. Thus, you are likely to eat too much. If you eat more slowly, however, you will probably consume less food as you will be better able to sense when your body has had enough food. Chewing food thoroughly also helps your digestion and your nutrition. Some of the process of extracting nutrients from your food happens in your mouth. Also, your esophagus and stomach are better able to handle well-chewed food. Eating slowly is more attractive than shoveling in food anyway. Plus, you will have time to enjoy your meals. Because of the pace of our modern life, finding time to eat slowly is difficult. However, even if eating more slowly means that you can only have a few nibbles before heading off for your child's soccer game, you'll be better off than gobbling larger amounts. You can always enjoy a leisurely snack later on.

Enjoy!

100 Free Ways to Add a little style to your life....

2010-07-16T20:15:00.000-07:00

60 something Catherine Deneuve

11) Keep a little mystery about yourself. Open communication is healthy! However, there are some things that don't need to be mentioned either in public or to a belove aged, ed spouse. When asked by a reporter her tips for staying beautiful as she aged, French grandmother responded, "I never talk about such things in front of my husband." If beauty tips are better left to the imagination, so are the nitty-gritty details of many an ailment.

12) Every day, find one thing for which to be grateful. Another bit of advice from a French mother -- or, at least, it was allegedly said by a medeival French woman to her daughter on her wedding day -- "Always find at least one thing in your day about which to be happy." This is similar to some of the tips posted yesterday, but it implies the effort of really looking for the blessings in your day. Some days in life are hard, but there is usually at least one thing for which we can be grateful. Learning how to find these jewels in our days goes a long way toward creating in us a beautiful attidue.

13) Use up all those jars of lotions, potions, and cosmetics. Some women buy a cosmetic or skincare product and use that one product until they run out. Others of us buy too many. If you find yourself in the latter categroy, determine to use up what you have before you bring anything else in. Also check use-by dates and throw away anything that is old and, thus, possibly contaminated. (Mascara, in particular, is one cosmetic item with a short shelf life.) Using what you have before buying more will de-clutter your dressing space and make it look prettier. It will also be good for your budget.

14) Keep a spray bottle of chilled water in your fridge. You can use this to freshen up on a hot day. You can even spray a slight mist over your face without ruining your makeup, if you are careful. Don't forget to re-apply sunscreen if needed.

15) Learn to mend and alter. Many a skillful woman throughout the ages has extended the life of her wardrobe with careful mending and alteration.

Enjoy!

Blah to Fab for Free: 100 No-Cost Ways to Put a Little Style in Your Life...

2010-07-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

When we want to spruce up our wardrobes or or homes, we have lots of resources to guide us. For example, there is Nina Garcia's popular list of one hundred clothing pieces and other items she considers essential to creating personal style.

For me, an attack of the frumps often has as much to do with my mindset and habits as it does what is actually hanging in my closet. Or, when looked at from another angle, a dowdy wardrobe is an outworking of my inner being.

So, I thought it might be fun to come up with a list of 100 intangibles of loveliness. After all, what woman couldn't use some no-cost tools in her beauty kit? Besides, the outer wrapping doesn't wear well until the inner foundation is in place.

Here are my first ten choices, in no particular order of importance.

1) Posture. Sit, move, and stand in a way that is not only graceful, but also promotes health. This is a weakness of mine, so I'm focusing here, first.

2) Smiles. Cultivating a generally pleasant expression not only preserves the face, but also makes us seem friendlier and more approachable.

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. ~Janet Lane

3) Tears. While it's important to smile, there are also occasions for compassionate tears. It's good to know how to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. It's also healing on occasion just to sit down and have a good cry.

"There is a sacredness in tears...They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."
Washington Irving.

4) Words. Speaking words that meet the need of the moment is a great skill. Speaking kindly, gently, and directly is a great art. Knowing how to say only that which builds others up takes loving insight.

5) Ears. Great listeners make the most fascinating conversationalists.

6) Eyes. Eyes to notice others. Self-centeredness is anything but appealing.

7) The cultivated eye. The cultivated eye knows how to arrange the elements in a room in a pleasing manner. The cultivated eye also knows how to dress to best advantage. The cultivated eye understands line, color, space, symmetry, visual balance, and light. The cultivated eye can arrange a pleasing table. The cultivated eye knows how to take a room from being cluttered to calm by carefully editing and organizing. I'm not referring to someone who likes or understands "high style", but someone who can take every-day elements and create from them a space that is warm, cozy, and welcoming. Some of us are born with a talent for such things. Others of us have to learn by careful observation and practice. We may need to enlist the help of a friend whom we know has a good eye for arranging things. One caveat: In cultivating our eye to see how to create loveliness out of the ordinary, we need to guard against becoming discontent with what we have or critical of others who might do things differently than we do. We're not aiming for artistic snobbery here, but we're simply doing the best we can with what we have at our finger tips.

8) Dress in good deeds. Care for those in need. Love the unlovely.

9) Watch your thoughts. Think about things that are pure, true, lovely, admirable, noble, righteous. Set your mind on things that will last for eternity. Then, the passing of time will be glorious to you and not a reason to mourn.

There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness. ~Lady Blessington

10) Get the big picture, but attend to the details. When we take a first look at some beautiful spot in nature, we see that the whole vista is beautiful. Yet, when we take a closer look, we find that the scene is made up of a myriad of details. Just examining the many little details that comprise one lovely flower can keep us busy for a while. Even the lowly dirt is comprised of many elements and is home to many creatures. In fact, our whole world is made up of tiny, tiny details that we can't even see with the naked eye, such as the parts of atoms. God created things that are beautiful and good and functional, and He placed structure and order and detail and pattern into the universe.

If a woman is to create a lovely, organized, efficient space around her, as well as present herself well and do her work to her greatest satisfaction, she will need to attend to the details. (Not my strong suit!). Yet, at the same time, she needs to keep an eye on the big picture so that she doesn't get lost in the details and miss the overall significance of what she is doing. This is a delicate balance.

Attention to details is necessary in loving a husband, caring for children, cooking, sewing, laundering and ironing, mending, arranging rooms, setting tables, organizing one's self, cleaning, completing one's work for an employer, organizing a wedding or other social or family event, taking care of your grooming, and in being charitable and hospitable to others. In fact, it's hard to find any aspect of life in which taking care of the little things well doesn't add to the success of the whole endeavor.

If we are a big picture type of woman, we can train our eye to notice details and train ourselves to take care of the behind the scenes work. If we are detail oriented to the point that we spend a whole day taking care of dust bunnies and leave more important things undone, we can train ourselves to have a better grasp of the larger picture. So much of our happiness and effectiveness in life comes from knowing how to best spend the moments of our days. There is a time to be exquisite in our attention to detail and a time to do our best on a project and let it go. There's a time to make and ice a cake from scratch, for example, and there's a time to run to the bakery and buy one ready-made.

Attending to the details of life doesn't win us any glory. In fact, we may work hard to do a task well, only to feel that our husband, children, boss, friend -- whomever -- doesn't even have a clue how painstaking our work was. If we want to do our work well, we can't base our entire happiness on whether or not another person understands how hard we worked. We must get some satisfaction simply by knowing in ourselves that we poured our hearts into it.

In photography, the smallest thing can be a great subject. The little, smallest human detail can be a Lietmotiv.
Henri Cartier-Bresson

So, these are the first ten in my list of "the intangibles of beauty and style". Next time, we'll explore items 10 through 20.

What about you? What's on your list of 100 Free Ways to Add Beauty and Style to Your Life?

Enjoy!

Five Ways to Create Lasting Inner Beauty

2010-06-25T10:03:00.001-07:00

In my previous two posts, I talked about the futility of depending on physical perfection lasting forever. However, inner beauty really does add to physical beauty, and even an old woman with great inner beauty usually has an outward radiance to match it. There is something about inner beauty -- true inner beauty -- that often preserves the face and body and enhances outer beauty to a degree that might not be expected. I can think of godly senior citizens who are lovely!

Likewise, inner sin and distress mars our face and body and can often rob us of our beauty at an early age. Bitterness, worry, hedonism and over-indulgence in food or drink are just a few of the sins that write themselves across our faces and bodies.

Were it not true that inner beauty does enhance our physical beauty even into old age, it would still be worth pursuing because it pleases God. In fact, true inner beauty happens when we pursue it not out of selfishness, but because we do love God and want to please Him and we love the other people in our lives well enough to be good stewards of our appearance and health.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. ⁵For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, ⁶like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. I Peter 3

This is a quaint cliche, but there is a grain of truth to it: At twenty, you have the face that God gave you. At forty, you are developing your face to be what it will be. At sixty, you have the face you deserve.

Thank the Lord for grace and mercy!

Enjoy
Elizabeth!

When beauty fades -- beauty without idolatry Part II

2010-06-20T20:53:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I mentioned reading two articles about personal style. While researching a totally different topic, I came across this article by Ellen Wurtzel entitled, "When Beauty Fades." In the article, 41-year-old Wurtzel writes of her attempts to reconcile herself to her fading beauty. She also is open about the fact that she indulged in many relationships with men, yet, so far, has failed to establish a lasting, committed relationship. Now, she feels that her days of choice are behind her.

This is her conclusion: But eventually, at some somber and sobering calendar date, most of us lose our looks and likewise one of our charms—and I will lose mine. At which time, for me at least, there won’t be much point to life anymore at all.

I don’t want to look back at what was, tell stories of once upon a long time ago, of what I used to do, of the men I once knew way back when, of 1,001 rapturous nights that were and are no more—I don’t want my life to be the trashy and tragic remains of a really great party, lipstick traces on a burned-out cigarette at the bottom of a near-empty champagne goblet. Sex and sexuality, at least for me, are not some segment of life; they are the force majeure, the flood and storm and act of God that overtakes the rest. Without that part of me, I’d rather be dead. And I know all I can do right now is hold on tight to the little bit of life that’s left, cling to the edge of the skyscraper I’m slipping off of, feel my fingers slowly giving way, knowing I’m going to free-fall to a sorrowful demise.

Maybe I would not have to hold on with such tough white knuckles if I’d done things right when I was still young.

My heart goes out to Ellen Wurtzel. As the author of Prozac Nation, she discussed her suffering caused by a form of depression that I assume is partly genetic in origin. Such depression is tough to cope with. Genetics aside, however, might her outlook brighten if she traded in the idols of beauty and sex in favor of finding peace in the arms of the true God?

Ellen is not alone in her struggle. At some point, we all look in the mirror and realize that we are, in terms of sheer physical allure, losing ground. It occurs to us that there is not enough botox in the world to halt the process of aging or, more importantly, to cancel our appointment with death. What's more, we sense, even if only dimly, that we will somehow have to give an accounting for how we have lived our life. We take stock ourselves and realize that we have often missed the mark of a life that is loving and true. We wish to have spent our quick trips around the sun on the things that really matter in the end. More than anything, we do not want to wind up with eternal regret.

How we deal with the realization of both our mortality and our fallibility depends on where we place our hope. Do we value youthful beauty for what it is, a treasure to be enjoyed within godly, protective boundaries? Are we willing to let youth pass when its time to move on to the next stages of life? Are we holding on to fleeting idols with tough white knuckles, as Ellen so eloquently put it, or do we eagerly press forward to take hold of that which is eternal? Do we understand what wonderful redemption Christ has brought through the cross?

Sex, beauty, food, nature, and all the good gifts of God were meant to be our servants, and not our masters. Sadly, we often confuse the gifts with the Giver, sometimes to the point of even refusing to believe that the Giver exists. Even those of us who do walk with our Lord sometimes are tempted to take our eyes off of Him for a moment. We are tempted to turn to the things of this world for comfort and direction. At some point, we have all mixed up our priorities and have valued the created over the Creator.

To do so is to invite peril. There are so many things in the world that promise truth and deliver falsehood, that start with pleasure and become a burden, and that pretend to give life but end in death. Sex and beauty are just two of the things in which we might place false confidence. Others are science, intellect, money, politics, food, saving the planet, our families, our homes, career success, being physically fit, any of the many "isms" such as feminism...You name it and souls can make an idol of it. The problem is that many of these things make wonderful servants, but all of them are terrible masters.

The root of all idolatry is in self, in the mistaken idea that we can create a god for ourselves according to our wishes or even to be our own god. The problem is that self is healthy only when rightly related to self's true Creator. Self, surrendered and disciplined, is a great gift. Self, when bowed down to and worshiped, becomes a monstrous ruler.

The irony is that unredeemed self always bows down to things of lesser place in the order of things, thus diminishing the very thing that self most loves -- which of course is self. If beauty and sex are our gods, for example, we have forgotten that we have souls of infinitely more value than our outward appearance. We do not know that we are created for a purpose that is grander and more satisfying than our fleeting pleasures. Sex and beauty within God's boundaries enrich us. When lifted up as idols, they cease to satisfy us and begin to control us.

This world and the things of it are destined to perish. The man or woman who puts false hope in the things of this world will perish along with it, but the man who does the will of God will live forever. John 3:15-26. Though our bodies are marvelous creations, they remind us of this truth. We all want to have the wisdom of fifty or sixty or seventy in a body that's twenty, but, instead, we must accept some wrinkles and some frailty along with lessons learned.

The good news is that it's never too late to let go of the tense, white-knuckled grip on whatever idols we have formed in life. God can free us from even the most tenacious idol, which is self. When we die to self and look up to worship Him in the beauty of his holiness, we find freedom and life. To worship Him elevates us.

No matter how we spent our pasts, we can come to God for a new birth. He has lifted up our eyes to a hope that does not fade with age or death.

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. I Peter 1:18-19

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, I Peter 1:3-4

What greater news could there be?

I say this as much to myself as to anyone: Never spend your life on things that eternity can take away from you. Invest in the treasure that will last beyond wrinkles, beyond failing strength; beyond fading desire; even beyond death. Seek the Lord with all of your heart. He will never fail you. John 14:6 And, when it comes to beauty, go after the inward beauty that never, ever fades. I Peter 3.

Enjoy!
elizabeth