Perhaps this sounds esoteric, flaky and simple but, shit, it’s a hard truth to wrap oneself around. Most creators I know – musicians, artists, writers, ideators, reassurers, to name a few types- tend to succumb to a leaky tunnel vision of their creativity. They think they’re focused on something but they really have holes, nooks and crannies where all sorts of crap gets shoveled in; a propagation of leaks of validation by overvaluing external cues that generally filter into either money, popularity or the need for invulnerability. This paves an easy path for opportunistic vampiric scumbags to show up to cause the creator to doubt the actual value of their output somehow. But you need to develop a tribe! You need to tweet and blog and update THE FACEBOOKS all the time! You need to put ALL OF THE THINGS on YouTube! Don’t release albums, just simple 2 minute song singles because people are DUMB! Do cover songs of current popular songs! Stunt art, bro, it’s where it’s at! Engage! 10,000 hours! 1,000 true fans!

What this pushes the creator to believe is that the actual value of their creation isn’t in what they created or in their relationship with it, it’s in every other external societal expectation; another’s stake in the craft matters more than the creators. I can’t blame other people for this, everyone has their own priorities for how you affect them, and rarely is the effect on you factored into consideration.

And the creators move forward trying to adapt all of these things into their craft because they start to equate not doing them as failure or, at least, not doing it the right way. Because there’s ALWAYS a right way, and it’s ALWAYS not what you’re doing and if you just give up some almighty dollar bills to me, I’ll show you the RIGHT path. Acceptance, my artist friend. Isn’t that what you want? Don’t be lame, admit it.

It’s happened to me over and over again, and I’ve seen so many friends and colleagues go through and view the valuation of what they do strictly through the eyes of marketers and salesmen thinking that their audience actually cares about this stuff.

Well, the audience does care about this stuff – but only if your audience is the kind that watches The Voice under delusion of watching key creators at work or the kind that only values the art pushed at them through bloggers who get paid not to cover art, but to generate page views.

And, when we as creators look back at what we’ve created through these filters, we feel less than. Whatever brief elation you get from more people liking your video on YouTube is lost in the lack of true connection to what you actually did. And if your audience is the kind to get their art from American Idol then you’re playing a marketing game that has little to do with actual art. And you will lose.

Da Truths- also, I’m a Leo born in August. So fuck yeah.

I had a conversation recently with someone who ran through a list of popular songs and asked me if I knew them. And, no, I didn’t know most of the songs. My response was that I’m a musician and a writer and while learning other peoples songs helped me develop early on and can prove to be a fun distraction sometimes, the time I spend doing that these days just detracts from the time I get to actually write and create of my own accord. This sounded pretentious and dickish, I’m sure, but it’s the truth that I feel. And, believe me, I used to feel inadequate when faced with a situation where I couldn’t meet other people’s definitions of what it means to be a professional musician. So you don’t really make money at it, then it’s a hobby? No, it’s a career. One of many.

If you create, and I mean truly create by spending time, energy and spiritual reserves eking out art or ideas from scratch, then you’re not going to be widely understood- widely appreciated, possibly, if you form a healthy relationship (doable) with the marketing side of things, but you won’t be understood. Not by many.

Not many will really understand that you’d rather sing and play your own songs to an audience of 5 than have to sing other people’s songs to an audience of 5,000.

Not many will understand that you’d rather stay in alone and work on your craft while everyone else goes out, drinks or watches TV.

Not many will understand that one of your biggest fears is having other people’s demands detract from your time or vision in creation.

Not many will understand that creation is elating, exhausting and depressing all at once.

Not many will understand that what they see as natural talent is actually the sum of the inspiration, passion, discipline and determination that unite in your spending enough time to create something. They also won’t understand that you cannot convey what this truly involves from you; that only discipline can be conveyed as a quantifiable process, but that it is still part of a whole.

Not many will understand that, once something you’ve made is out in the public view, you’re already onto the next thing and more focused on that than pushing what’s already out there.

Not many will understand that you never really take time off, that you’re bound by the will of whatever the demands of your craft are.

Not many will understand the introversion in the shadow of your extroversion.

I’m not whining here and this isn’t a cry for being misunderstood, it’s more a missive of relating to others as a creator and as an artist; of relating to the pigeon holes others put you in as they try and relate to you. Being misunderstood comes with the territory and generally means you’re doing something right; we’re just talking about keeping relatively sane and focused in the light of others expectations.

In that spirit, here’s a list of things I’m currently working on:
– New songs. Likely to be released as an EP in the first half of 2014.
– A novel.
– A consulting business.
– Methods to help people work well together.
– Actionable views to help people enjoy their work life.
– Processes to help people run teams and companies.
– A couple of quick random idea books.
– A new body.
– Processes to empower others to achieve new level of physicality.
– A list of songs I’ve always wanted to learn. Yeah I know what I said above- just so I can play them for myself as a welcome distraction when I’m stuck on my own music, or perhaps at more story telling focused acoustic shows.
– New daily rituals based on gratitude and idea generation.
– A new set of rules for living and approaching life.

What are you creating now?

love
-Pheroze

This is how awesome you are. Look at you leap!

I suppose I should say something wise and typical of the indie musician-horde like it’s always nerve-wracking putting out new music, what a wild ride it’s been, the fans are the only reason it was made blah and blah and blah-fart-louder fart-same thing every band says when they put out a new album.

But no, I can’t say any of that. Indulge my examination:

Was it nerve-wracking? Hell no. Look, I don’t depend on music for my income and day-to-day survival. At this point in my career I’ve put out six commercial releases spread out amongst various bands and my solo output; you can increase that number to thirty if you count demos, and decrease it to four if you only count releases that don’t sound like demos. If I were to take all of the money I’ve made over the years from these releases, I could buy myself a years supply of dog food and maybe a chew toy. So, yeah, the fact that I don’t rely on music for money means that there’s very little about releasing an album that is nerve-wracking. It also means that there’s nothing in my musical output that is tailored towards making money. Make of that what you will, but it allows me to focus on the art. A lot of artists also talk about being nervous in the studio. Lame. Amateurs and perfectionists get nervous in the studio. I am neither.

Was it a wild ride? Only if you still consider Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride to be… well… a wild ride. Was it an experiment in personal growth? Yes and an extraordinarily successful one at that. But wild? I’ve had wilder times trying to find where I put my glasses when I wake up in the morning.

And fans. Yes, I love you, but I don’t make music for you. And here’s the thing: You don’t want me to. If you like what you hear it’s because my approach to music is immensely personal; if I thought about appealing to any fans- whether mine or someone else’s- then I’d lose the aspect of creation that allows me to slowly etch my mark into the art. Maybe I’m wrong, but so far so good. Bottom line: You rule, but you shouldn’t rule me.

That’s what the process of creating Ennui was not.

Here’s what creating Ennui was: A period of extreme personal growth. Yes, another standard artist trope, but good art emerges from personal growth. Hell, good ANYTHING emerges from personal growth. The reverse statement doesn’t quite hold true, though, as personal growth can come out of anything you go through, shitty or great. For Ennui, I gripped the reins tighter on aspects of production – traditionally a looser point for me- by mixing, editing, engineering and tracking things myself. And I loosened up on the creative aspects that traditionally are marked by my more tyrannical side by pretty much giving the band free reign to play and track their parts as they saw fit. Pontus (guitars) and Dan (bass) even tracked their parts in their own studio without me around. For anyone who knows me, that’s a huge deal. I don’t remember the last time I wasn’t there to direct a session on anything I’ve ever recorded, no matter how minuscule the part. I showed up for a vibra-slap overdub once. It was epic.

So yeah, I let go of some shit I normally hold on to and I dove into other aspects I normally have other folks tackle. Growth; part of being a grown ass man™.

And, again, it ruled. I loved every minute of it. Creating Ennui was the most fun I’ve ever had with music. Each step was a joy (well maybe not editing, I hate editing, but I love the end result so let’s roll it in with the rest). The thing about Ennui is that, after being a part of plenty of recordings, I realize that it’s the first one I’ve ever truly enjoyed from start to finish. It’s set the template for how I produce my music going forward and, shit yeah, it’s going to be fun to top it.

I loved scoping out the songs and parts from the outset.

I loved writing parts during the recording process.

I loved editing (though I also hated it).

I loved putting together the perfect gear situation for my own studio.

I loved what the band brought to the table with their parts. Joe nailed all his parts, Dan played extraordinarily clean and creative bass lines, Pontus nailed down a plethora of fantastic options for his guitar parts.

I loved mixing.

I loved the whole fucking thing.

Ennui, more than any other release I’ve put out, embodies why I make music. For fun. For love. Anything I do going forward has to honor both of those. The bar is set, and it’s going to be a blast topping it.

For now, I’m going to sit atop of my hill of beans and enjoy creating new experiences for Ennui while plotting out the follow up. Thanks again, friends. You rule.

Directed by Dave Bunting of King Killer Studios, the video captures the bands encounter with some violently furry friends while they’re practicing.

Stream the video for Today I Belong to the Dead exclusively on Zuus Media today! Here’s the link.

You can buy directly from Pheroze.com and it’s available on:

iTunes

Amazon

Spotify

Listen and share the stream at this link.

Check it out and place your votes at this link!

You can listen to the song and read a bit of the meaning behind it here.

The premiere also includes a teaser clip of the video for Today I Belong to the Dead as well. The video was shot in Brooklyn and directed by Dave Bunting of King Killer Studios.

Everyone who pre-orders will receive an instant download of The Path Towards December in a hi-res mp3 format.

Ennui releases on April 23rd, 2013. Pre-orders can be placed at this link.

We’re playing a blistering set featuring the entire Ennui EP along with some older tunes and new surprises and we’d love to jam with you on the day we unleash Ennui out in the world! Bring your party hats! Bring your friends! We want to see you there!

RSVP on Facebook.

Details:

Ennui EP Release show

April 23rd

Doors: 7:30

Set Time: 8PM sharp

FREE ADMISSION

Venue: The Bowery Electric

327 Bowery at 2nd street

New York, NY 10003

You can get The Path Towards December and learn about the song and new EP at this link.