Phil Parker's blog

Tinnitus and chronic pain

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 29 May 2013 10:31:00 +0100

The majority of tinnitus cases have no known physical cause.
Instead they function much like chronic pain does where a small, normally unnoticeable, signal has become amplified by brain pathways that have been switched on 'by mistake'.

Reducing the activity of these pathways is the solution for both conditions.
This is what drugs or brain training programmes like the Lightning Process can achieve.

Stress helps further amplify those pathways, but unfortunately having pain or tinnitus naturally makes us stressed. This creates a self perpetuating vicious circle that we need to break free of.

This brilliant video from an Australian Pain Service explains it well.

Givers and Takers: Prof Adam Grant

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 10 May 2013 12:43:00 +0100

I had the pleasure of listening to Prof Adam Grant talking to a packed house at Action for Happiness in London last night. He covered much, and time seemed to fly by, in his two hour lecture but I thought I would share a few of the points that particularly struck me:

He discussed the idea of there being three mindsets we can take on,
Givers - who look at how they can help/give to others
Takers - who look at how they can get the most from others. This is the commonest group.
Matchers - who look at how they can 'trade' evenly with others

He found if you looked at how successful people are in terms of grades, productivity, or sales the bottom of the successful list was consistently more populated by givers. It seemed they spent more of their time helping other people out than working on their own projects, and as salesman wanted the best for their clients, which included not selling them things they didn't want.
This seems that bad news for the givers.

So which type was most represented top section of 'the most successful people' list?
Strangely enough it wasn't 'the takers'.
Nor was it 'the matchers'
Again it was 'the givers': this group was most represented both in the most and least successful groups. This strange result seemed to be partially related to time, givers took the time to build relationships with people so that their customers and colleagues trusted them, they also were interested enough in their customers to discover their true needs.
Relationships built on these ideas tend to be more fruitful in the long-term.
Linked to this was the idea of weak and strong ties. Our close friendships are considered to be strong ties, whereas 'acquaintances' are weak ties.
It turns out that when we are starting a new project, looking for a new job or want assistance or advice from other people, that are strong ties are the least useful. We've often used their connections and networks and advice in the past and to some extent they are now redundant.
The weak ties seem to be more useful at providing new insights and opportunities. The takers burn up their relationships having used friendships without giving anything back; givers have much greater networks and the magic ingredient of ‘dormant ties’. These are people who you haven't been in touch with for a while, but when you do reconnect they remember you fondly and are keen to help you; remember most of the world is apparently made up of 'matchers'.
Dormant ties are even more valuable with new projects than weak or strong ties, they can often put you in touch with new opportunities and new possibilities; and naturally givers have many more dormant ties than takers.

Take some time today to consider where you can give more, not in order to get something… Just as a gift.
Also consider who is a dormant tie you have not been in touch with for a while who might be an interesting person to get in touch with about your current project.
Then of course email them, tell them what you are up to and ask if they can help. This final phase is very important, as givers tend to not be good at asking for assistance. If this applies to you maybe think of it instead as giving your dormant tie friend a chance to give.
And see what magic unfolds…

Develop your Empathy and Compassion

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 9 May 2013 14:41:00 +0100

In the last few days the same theme - empathy and compassion - has kept on cropping up in conversations.

The brilliant Robert Holden invited me to a day's training, with Sharon Salzberg, which turned out to be completely focused on Loving Kindness and compassion: next I was writing a section of my latest book, focusing on how we need to be deeply compassionate to ourselves as a starting point for having a great life; and then in an interview on the subject of 'a Life You Love' with Times journalist Patrick Strudwick the conversation unexpectedly veered straight into compassion again.

On Sharon's course I was once again reminded that these core concepts are so ancient and yet still relatively unused by most of us – so, time for some action.

I'd recommend we all start to encourage more compassion in ourselves with this simple step:

Spend a few moments being nice to yourself - science backs this up as a good thing to do, being in nicer to yourself will increase your happiness and add on average an extra ten healthy years onto your life. The simplest way to do this is to tell yourself that you love yourself. Although these are simple enough words, for many people they are the most difficult words to say authentically.

If this applies to you, just practice saying 'I like myself' until you feel ready to move to the 'I love myself' phrase.

Without being kind to yourself it's difficult to bring empathy and compassion into the rest of the world.

In my next post I'll talk about what else we can do to encourage compassion in the world, until then, be nice, especially to yourself :)

Fooling the brain - reality and optical illusions

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 14:34:00 GMT

This article is taken from my forthcoming book
Get The life You Love NOW.
In this segment I'm looking at the nature of reality, and how our brain is so easily fooled by what it thinks it sees..

Check these amazing images out

These black circles give the illusion that the text in the 'square' is magnified, although its not

Hermman-Hering grid

Count the black dots you can see at the intersections of the grey lines.

Most people find they can’t count the black dots because as soon as a look at them they turn white. Some people find they can’t even see black dots as they change to white so quickly.

More about how the brain works on my free itunes podcast

Happy skies

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 14:18:00 GMT

Those of you familiar with my blog may remember the piece on Leo Borman, happiness ambassador, and the smiling watches.
Here's a nice shot that continues the theme

2 steps to happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:54:00 GMT

Part of my simple truths series

Transcript of my Essential NLP skills podcast number four.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 17:06:00 GMT

Hi welcome to the transcript of my Essential NLP skills podcast number four.

If you've been following this podcast series you'll know that we've done an overview, we've looked at two really important things in podcast number two which were:
1) ‘rapport’ - the ability to communicate effectively with people and to feel like you are related to them

and
2) 'states' - which is all about working out are we in the right state of mind in any particular moment in time.

And then in podcast number three we looked at the neuroscience behind change, neuro plasticity, and particularly how there's a massive link between the words we say, what states they create and what neurology they build.

So that's where we have got to. What we are going to look at today are issues that actually stem from that.

One of the problems we've got is: how do we ask people what their problem is without generating more neurology and more stability in the problem state. And as we mentioned in the last podcast: the easiest way to do this, it seems, is to minimise the amount of language we use that is problem-based.

Unfortunately, when people come to see us we often have a tendency to ask them what the problem is. However it's much more useful to say 'what can I help you with?'
By changing our language in this way we start to immediately direct them to finding the solutions that they want.

We will of course want to check in and find out how they are getting on as well. But at the same time we need to ask these questions in a very careful way, and the easiest way to do this is, is something we call 'framing'.

This is when we say 'look, what we are going to do is very briefly be discussing what your issues are and how we can help you, but we are not going to spend a lot of time doing that because where we really need to focus is the second phase of the session, which is looking at how can we make a difference.'

And this brings us to one of the really important distinctions of NLP, and that is, that much therapy, counselling and problem solving approaches normally focus on the 'WHY?' question. Asking 'Why are things the way they are?'
And although there is some value in that it's a massively overused question. People seem to ask the 'why?' all the time- but asking 'why?' focuses on the problem, on the past and very often on who is to blame, who is responsible. And although the 'why?' question can be useful, and certainly the past does influence how we think about ourselves and the future, to some extent, it's not nearly as useful as the 'how?' question.
Replacing the 'why?' question with 'how?' question is always much more useful.

NLP has a structure for finding out information in a very particular way.

Once we've gone through 'what brings you here - what can we help you with?' type questions, it moves into something called 'well formed outcomes'.

Well formed outcomes are a fantastic way of helping people to work out what they want but in a way that very clearly steers their neurology in the right direction and helps them to get what they want. If you are involved in NLP coaching or management these are really essential skills. They are similar to things called Smart goals but they are even smarter because their understanding of how the neurology works.

The first question we ask is a fairly obvious question, but it is a very important one, which is 'what do you want?'

The important thing about this question is that its answer must fit 2 very important criteria.

It must be stated in positives and it must be something that is deliverable.

So let me clarify that; very often when you ask people what they want they will say things like 'not to be anxious' however as we discussed previously all this does is re-stimulate the neurology they do not want to be activating- i.e the neurology of stress and anxiety.

This is why we insist the answer is stated in positives and we coach and assist them to turn this from 'I do not want to be stressed' to stating what they actually do want- such as 'I want to be calm'

Very often just explaining the concept of neuro plasticity to them makes it very clear to them why it is important to use positive language when they are talking about what they want.

The second qualifying criteria is that it has to be something that is deliverable by them. So often people state what they want in terms of they want someone else to change - someone else to be different or some external force to provide a solution.

On reflection we can see this is not a very good way to work. Yet it's such a common way of thinking that people have when they get stuck. They feel they've exhausted all the possibilities of what they can do about the situation and are now looking elsewhere for other people to change or for some external event to provide the solution.

Here we need to recognise that we need to take responsibility. We can only really effectively change ourselves, as that, obviously, is the person we have the most power over.

As we know, when we have tried to change other people, it rarely work - changing ourselves is the most effective way to use our energy if we want to get a difference in our lives.

So once we have a very clear idea what it is that we want - in positives and something we can deliver- an interesting thing happens. Not only do we get a clarity about exactly what it is we want to happen but also, by exercising our brain in this way, we start to get much more familiar with what that is going to be like. We start to generate the new pathways we need to make these changes, to have these new behaviours, to change these beliefs and change to this future that we wish for.

So these questions are not just 'let's set some goals' questions. The purpose of these questions is actually to get our brain in the right state to do the thing we want to do. Remember going back to podcast 2, it's absolutely essential to get our brain in the right state, and in fact when you look at all these questions of the well formed outcomes, all of them move us to exactly the state we want to be in to get the solution or get the job done.

The next question encourages this too.

It is 'how will you know when you have achieved this? And what would you see feel and hear in that place?' By answering this question we once again stimulate the neurology of success.

Here we are asking to think about what it feels like, what are you seeing, what you hear, when you have achieved your goal. It asks 'How do you measure that success?'

Technically what this question asks you to do is to go into the future and see yourself in the future where this has already occurred and to feel what that feels like. By doing this you generate a whole set of new neurological pathways that take you exactly into the zone you need to be to make the changes you want.

By asking also would you feel, see and hear (these are called representational systems and we will be covering them later) it further encourages the development of those new neurological pathways.

By doing this, developing and strengthening those pathways that get you what you want, just like training muscle, it makes it much more likely for you to achieve this.

And the third question we are going to ask is 'What is the first step?'

Now this question is very interesting; first of all it is the solution to being overwhelmed, we very often won't even attempt a task if we feel it is just too much to do.

If we asked 'What is the first step?' it becomes much more manageable. A bite sized piece with which we feel comfortable.

If we ask someone to write a book, then that is quite a big task. But if we ask instead 'If you were to write a book, would be a paperback or a hardback?' 'A novel or a manual'?, or 'What colour would the front, or what might the title be?' then by doing this, by breaking it down into smaller steps, it becomes reasonable and brain can get its 'head' around it.

The other important part of the 'first step' question, is, once again, it sets us in motion on this task. We think through 'I could do that, that and that?' and each time we do that we are starting to step into areas we have not been into before.
We claim these new areas as our own, as part of the territory we are now moving into. So this question 'What is the first step?' is a really valuable question.

There are some other questions we are going to ask that are part of the well formed outcomes, but you'll find them in the podcast number five.

For now I would like to play around with these starting questions.

What do you want?- Making sure it is in positives and something you can deliver.

How will you know when you've achieved it?- Making sure you describe it in detail- including what you can see, feel and hear.
Envisioning it as though you're actually there, having achieved it.

What is the first step to achieving that?

Play around with these both in your personal and professional life. You'll see that these very clear questions start to shift and move things forward rapidly because they utilise the skill of the brain to develop new neurological pathways, which is is that what you need to do if you want to create change.

So ditch the "why?" question on the whole and move towards the "how?" question.

And if you found this useful please leave a review on iTunes and give the podcast a rating.

Until next time, you might find these useful resources.

The 10 Questions To Ask for Success and Dû - Unlock Your Full Potential With A Word by Phil Parker
Both these books are available for purchase at our online store:
http://store.philparker.org/
Come and join me on facebook https://www.facebook.com/philparker.LP Andtwitter www.twitter.com/philparkerlp

Phil

Please email me to get the other transcripts and free bonus videos and extra audio programmes for free (see box at the top right)

You can get all the episodes of the podcast here for free x

How do I listen to podcasts? The beginners guide

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 14:25:00 GMT

The beginner's guide to podcasts
How do you use a podcast?
What is a podcast?
I have created one of the top podcasts on iTunes about NLP, but I know from the questions I've been asked that many people are not quite sure what to do with podcasts or why they should listen to them.
This is my very brief 'idiots guide' introduction to podcasts. I've written it in, what I hope is layman's language, but please send any comments so I can improve it if needed.

What is a podcast?
Podcasts are a bit like radio or TV shows that you can listen to any time you want. One of the main differences is that you can only get hold of them by using something that connects to the Internet- such as a computer or smart phone. The other main difference is that anyone can create a pod cast which means that some of them are fantastic and some not so good.
Many celebrities, newspapers and TV channels have their own podcasts so you can catch up with what's been going on at your leisure.
They are a great source of information, learning and new ideas, because you can listen to them when you want, unlike TV show or radio show, you can carry them around with you cause them and restart them at any point. They're also ideal to listen to whilst travelling or doing household chores, because once you have them on your iPod, smart phone or computer they're always available.

How do you use a podcast?
Firstly you need to make sure you've got the right equipment, and nowadays most people do.
You will need
a computer
and a Internet connection

If you want to listen to it on the move or away from your computer, you may also want to use a iPod- that's one of those products that allows you to listen to downloaded music- or a smart phone, like an iPhone for example.

Follow these steps which walk you through the process of getting your first podcast
1) Make sure you have installed itunes onto your computer. It's free and already on most computers- search in your programs or applications to check. If you need to get a copy of itunes click here
2) Now click on this link to visit iTunes. You can do this on your smart phone or your computer.
3) A new window should have popped up showing my smiling face that looks something like this

3) Click on subscribe, just beneath the picture. Now itunes will download all the episodes to your computer. You can listen to them itunes.
4) If you want to listen to them on your ipod or smart phone you will need to tell itunes to move them to there. Plug the ipod or smart phone in to the computer. Go to your 'sync' setting and click sync podcasts and then click 'apply' in the bottom corner.
5) Now you should be able to listen to them on you ipod or smartphone ( new changes in iphone software may mean you need to also download the podcast app from the app store- again its free)

I hope this helps, do ask any questions in the box below
Phil

Stretch your mind...

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 10:28:00 GMT

Stretch your mind...

Have you ever thought:

What would happen if we changed the way you see the world?

What are the rules we live by?

How do we make decisions?

NLP is, to some extent, the study of looking at these and other fascinating questions.

Notice what happens when you take a few minutes today to think how you currently feel about the following ideas - technically called NLP presuppositions- it could just be the mental stretching you need to start seeing things in a new way heading in a different direction.

The intriguing thing about NLP presuppositions is they are not rules; they're not even considered to be true. The point of them instead is to ask us to imagine 'if this was true, if we started from this point of view, then what would the world be like'.

Let's try on the first one

What if you began from the perspective that people already have all the resources they need?

This is the idea that we already have on board everything we could ever need to achieve the results and changes we wish for in our lives; all we need to do is access those talents. It doesn't mean to say we have all the information we need, we may need to learn new things - but it does suggest that we have the ability to grasp those new ideas. It's also the opposite of the idea that we are not up to challenge, or we are less good than other people or somebody else needs to do it for us.

If we spent some time today seeing ourselves as being complete seeing others as being capable and resourceful, then how would that change what we saw in the world, and ourselves, today?

And here is another one of the 11 NLP presuppositions.

What if you took on the idea that there is no such thing as failure only feedback?

You know how when people say,'I am going to give you some feedback' they often mean I'm going to tell you where you were wrong and complain. This presupposition reclaims the word 'feedback', reminding us it means just getting information about how things went. Feedback is the data that we need to assess when things went according to plan or not and to work out what we need to do to make sure it works even better next time.

But as humans we hate the idea of being wrong, we avoid it at all cost- yet as not achieving what you wish for is a natural part of anyone's road to success, so we need to have a better relationship with unexpected outcomes.

What if, when things didn't go right, or as planned, instead of becoming upset we really did see it as information? What would that be like? How would that free us to try more things out? How would it help us to sift through people's disappointment or complaints for the useful information that would help us do even better next time?

Send me a message and let me know how to this has been useful for you today.

If interested to know more then please check out my 10 minute Essential NLP podcasts in iTunes.

Phil

Everyone is our teacher

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 17:53:00 GMT

What if we changed our perspective on the people that annoyed us, the situations that irritated us, and the un-thoughtfulness of others?
And instead of finding even more reasons to be frustrated, indignant and appalled we took on a new point of view?

A point of view where we decided to see everyone as a teacher. Where we recognise everybody has a lesson for us: it might be that it's to remind us not to be like that ourselves, or maybe to remind us to be more compassionate and accepting of others.

If you keep on coming up against the same blocks and obstacles, the same "kind of difficult people" are getting the way of your progress, than perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt, and also it's possible that until you learn whatever that lesson is, there's a good chance you keep on bumping into these issues.

My challenge to you is to play with taking this more powerful perspective on about the elements of your life that you can't actually change, others. It might be just what you need to start 2013 in a new way.
Phil

You can hear me talking more about this and how we can use it to change our brains, and lives, on my Essential NLP Podcast here

Success Version 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 8 Jan 2013 17:06:00 GMT

As it is the New Year I've been pondering on what's important. In previous years, like many of us, I've set goals, which is never a bad thing, but this year instead of focusing on getting more followers on Twitter or Facebook or even following the worthy credo "What if you were to die tomorrow?
If you knew that how would you make sure that this day was the sum of everything you've ever achieved", I thought this year I would approach the new year slightly differently.

What if I lived today according to my highest goals- which, on reflection, are not to achieve loads of significant and seriously important things - although I like doing that too, but to have fun, to experience happiness and share that with others.

For it still follows that if we are all to die tomorrow, due to the delayed Mayan prophecy or some such, then, in fact, living today in that way, would have be the perfect day to end on.

So maybe we need to redefine success as being happy and true to ourselves?
What do you think?

Essential NLP podcast

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 8 Jan 2013 10:46:00 GMT

Have you ever wanted to know how the brain works and how you can make it work for you?

In 30 years of working in the field NLP is the closest thing I've come across to a manual for the brain. It combines great original thinking with concepts from the most effect personal development approaches and neuroscience.
Over the last few months you've seen some amazing videos on this blog about people learning how to spell, getting over fears of heights or blood, stopping eating chips or chocolate. These all were examples the power of the brain and what's possible with NLP.

So if you fancy a paddle in the warm waters of the NLP ocean then check out my free podcast series. It's designed to strip away some of the nonsense and mystery of this fascinatingly practical approach to change and give you some tools you can put straight into practice in your life and business.
Podcast 1 Introduces the field of NLP with some practical exercises about how the brain works
Podcast 2 Covers two vital areas for improving your life and relationships:- Rapport and States
Podcast 3 Covers Language and Neuroplasticity, how you can use the latest brain science research to get your brain woking for you
Podcast 4 Covers Well Formed Outcomes- the starting point for working out what you want and designing it in a way that makes your brain start to work towards getting it

Get the free podcast here

Hope for the Homeless at Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 14:48:00 GMT

Just got this very moving video through from the guys at SHP, check it out, it's only one minute long

Something to think about this Christmas

Six inspirational thinkers, one new adventure...

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 15:08:00 GMT

Last night was present at the start of something rather special.

The coming together of six of the finest inspirational thinkers in the field...

Dr. Robert Holden- world leader in Happiness

Ali Campbell - Life coach to the stars and NLP guru

Dr. David Hamilton - research scientist and mind body expert

Derek Mills- the Standards Guy and Creator of the 10 Second Philosophy

John Whiteman - developer of The Way

oh and me...

Watch this space for some intriguing and exciting news early next year...

Who's in control of our brain?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 14:21:00 GMT

We think we're in control of our brain, right?
Well, check this out.
Lift your right foot up of the floor and move it in a clockwise direction.
Now with you hand draw a 6 in the air.

Did you notice what your foot just did?

For most people you'll find that your foot began to move in an anticlockwise direction as soon as they draw the six.
This is a good example of the phenomenon of neuro plasticity; when we use a particular set of pathways together, the brain connects them up. As a result we very quickly become creatures of habit.

Imagine you're stirring an imaginary cup of tea or coffee; notice which way you stirred it to start with? You may not be aware of this but you do this every time.

Imagine you are brushing your teeth; as you place the toothbrush in your mouth, you will find you brush the same teeth in the same order each time.

This is because your brain likes to take shortcuts, it doesn't want to have to choose what you're doing each time. But this shortcutting can cause problems, especially if we into get habits or consistently stimulate brain pathways that don't get us good results in our lives.

There's also plenty of evidence that one of the ways to prevent a decrease in brain function as people age is to do new things to stimulate new pathways.

Today consider what is that you do habitually, and do it a bit differently.
It may be that you take a slightly different route home, or that you do things in a different order, or use it in a different chair when you're watching TV.
That is the effect of doing this you probably find that you feel a bit different bit more alive a bit more awake a bit more vital.

Please leave a comment and let me know what you changed and anything else that you would like me to cover in these blogs.

Phil
Lead Trainer NLP Coach Course

Intrigued? Then check out my NLP podcast which covers this subject in much more detail

Rewire your brain for success

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 14:18:00 GMT

Ideas of how the brain works have often reflected whatever technology was current at the time.
So when radio and TV were the most advanced technology we had, the brain was considered to be made up of electrical wires or circuit boards. Unfortunately with this idea came the sense that once a particular circuit was laid down then, that was it: you were wired that way for life.

With the growth of the Internet and it's understanding of how things are interconnected, a new more developed model of how the brain works has come about.

In this model the brain is seen as series of interconnected pathways which grow stronger and more influential depending on the amount of traffic they have, and what underpins this idea is the phenomenon of neuro plasticity.

This is the scientific fact that when you use a nerve pathway a lot, then, much like training a muscle group in the gym, the brain actually physically changes its structure to make it easier to use that pathway.

This is great if the pathways that we have been training help us make better choices about what's good for us in our lives, but it's equally disastrous if we unintentionally train our brain to go down pathways that cause us trouble.

I've included one of my most popular videos which shows this.

So my question for you is which pathways are you currently exercising, and which pathways would you like to exercise less?

Changing this is actually very simple because the process of neuroplasticity which set up the strength and resilience of those negative pathways can equally be used to retrain your brain to go down the pathways that you wish for.

Phil
Lead Trainer NLP Coach Course

You can hear me talking more about neuroplasticity and how we can use it to change our brains, and lives, on my Essential NLP Podcast here

Mind body research from UCLA

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 11:14:00 GMT

Patients who go through a mind-body educational course are better able to manage irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), according to a new study headed by Dr. Emeran Mayer, professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, School of Medicine, published in Alimentary Pharmacology and Therapeutics this week.

Irritable bowel syndrome is a collection of symptoms, including stomach pain and diarrhea, that don't have a known inflammatory component like inflammatory bowel disease.m, which affect up to 15 percent of the population.

The patients were given a group education program, of two-hour sessions once a week for five weeks. The discussions centered on the role of the brain in regulating digestion, how responses to stressful events can affect IBS, and strategies to better manage symptoms.

The benefits of the course although modest, matched the results typically seen from taking medications,

'The program doesn't work for everybody', said Mayer, but for others "it changed their lives."

The researchers couldn't describe exactly how patients' lives were changed, but those in the study reported having somewhat less severe symptoms and a higher quality of life after they went through the program.

This supports the positive findings of research into IBS and hypnosis published in the American Journal of Gastroenterology (2012; 107:276–285 Effects of Gut-Directed Hypnotherapy on IBS in Different Clinical Settings—Results From Two Randomized, Controlled Trials)

This and the other research in the field is very welcome, it allows this amazing scientifically based field to take its rightful place in health care, rather than being easily dismissed as some flakey hippy nonsense.

STOP overeating with NLP this New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 13:00:00 GMT

Perfect for the Post Christmas season!
You wanted to know how I helped someone get over their 'addiction' to potato chips, using an NLP technique- well here's how to do it.

This interactive video walks you through the NLP 'blow out' process. It's great for any foods you've got way too attached to;
The main culprits are
chocolate
crisps/chips
cakes
cookies
alcohol
fizzy drinks/sodas

but you can use it on anything.

For more approaches to make 2013 the best year yet, try my audio program New Year New You and please leave a comment letting me know what you've used it for,
and have a Very Merry Christmas and a Great New Year!
Phil x

You can explore the skills of NLP and how we can use it to change our brains, and lives, on my FREE Essential NLP Podcast here

How to make a: Stress Free Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 6 Dec 2012 16:39:00 GMT

Do you want a Happy, Stress Free Christmas?

Stress free Christmas

Christmas should be, we are told, a time of joy and fun - but for many it never quite works out that way. Use these top tips taken from the my downloadable Stress Free Christmas Audio Program to make sure you do have a MERRY Christmas.

Festive stress

For most people Christmas stresses fall into one of two groups;

1) Other people

2) Over whelmed

1) Other people

The stress around this can be enormous at Christmas time. One of the easiest things to deal with differently is those people who you find can easily upset or annoy you.

If someone is difficult to deal with (it’s not always the mother in law) try these tips:

A. Stay calm: take a deep breath in and remind yourself of something deeply relaxing; a beach holiday a walk in the forest. The chances are they don’t really mean to upset you; so let it go. If they do mean to be mean, then they’re probably not having a great Christmas, so you can just feel sorry for them, and remember: is their opinion that important?

B. Funny fish head: imagine every time they say something that usually upsets you, you imagine they have a large fish sitting on their head, and it’s just flapping around as they talk. Notice how that changes how seriously you take what they say.

2) Over whelmed

This can take many forms, worrying about catering, shopping, present buying, Christmas cards, entertaining and so on.

Often these take over so much that’s there no fun to be had, no time to relax or to enjoy your friends and family. This can of course then lead to resentful arguments about how nobody helped.

There are some simple solutions:

1) Ask: if you want help ask for it. Now, it won’t always be given but so often people don’t even ask - expecting it will ‘be obvious’ to everyone that they should lend a hand. Make it easier this year by requesting some help

2) Bite size pieces: If you find it all becoming too much saying phrases like “ there TOO/SO much to do” then pause for a moment and do what the expert planners do. Ask ‘what’s the first tiny step?’
Planning the whole 5 course banquet, presents, and house keeping for 12 people is likely to make your head spin, but discovering the first tiny step is ‘Creating a good shopping list’ makes you feel you are working on the bigger project and that it is actually possible.

Above all realise that worrying about things rarely helps to make things better, so make sure you make the right things important this year, focus up on having fun, kicking off your shoes and dancing with life this Christmas!

Stress Free Christmas Audio download available from http://store.philparker.org/ for £8.99

You'll also find the NEW YEAR NEW YOU! program there too.

Happy Christmas everyone!!!

NLP Mind Tools: getting up easily, over eating, spelling

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 13:04:00 GMT

This weekend I thoroughly enjoyed myself training people in skills of NLP. For those of you new to this, NLP is best described as the closest thing we have to a manual for how the mind works. This is so exciting as most of our problems occur because we have no idea of how to use our mind to good effect.

And like any education program that is worth anything, learning and teaching NLP is great fun.

This weekend we explored the power and application of NLP by working through a number of interesting topics. Here's just 3 of them- we looked at:

1) How some people find it impossible to resist certain foods, normally the ones that are bad for them- you rarely find people who are addicted to salad! - And teaching them how to become ambivalent about those foods; the person we worked with on this weekend found crisps potato chips impossible to resist. Everyday she would eat at least one large packet. This week she wrote:

Just to let you know I have not had a single crisp since Saturday. I am extremely proud of myself and I think I am doing damn well.

These things are so easy to change when you know how... just send me an email - phil@philparker.org and I'll send you a link to the free video on exactly how to do it.

2) How some people get up instantly in the morning instead of fighting the alarm clock- and learning how to be like them. You can watch a short video I made about this.

3) How some people appear to be poor spellers and others are excellent at it. Is it possible to help people with lifelong dyslexia spell? In 15 minutes? Surprisingly the answer is yes.

One guy had just celebrated his 60th birthday, throughout all those years he had always been a dreadful speller, this had caused him all sorts of problems in his educational and professional life.

Within 15 minutes he was spelling receipt and diarrhoea, two of the most commonly misspelled words, perfectly.

In fact he could even spell them backwards and forwards.

He sent me this brief success story:

I have been obsessed with remembering numbers and words following the work done with Phil over the weekend. I can now recite both my car registration and mobile number for the first time ever. I even impressed my wife by walking around the house spelling diarrhoea over and over again!!!

There's also a video of me working with two girls with dyslexia here.

If you would like to learn how to spell effectively no matter how long you've had a problem, then you probably want to check out my dyslexia DVD.

This won't be for everyone but if you'd like to learn how to teach these skills to others, and check out our brilliant NLP training course

Thanks for reading, do you have any suggestions for what you'd like me to cover in this weeks blogs or any questions? If so please leave a comment.
Much Love
Phil

Watch for happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 22 Nov 2012 12:46:00 GMT

Last night I had the pleasure of listening to Leo Bormans talk about happiness, and for those familiar with this blog you'll know it's an important theme in my work.
He's recently edited a book called World Book of Happiness which has been sent to all world leaders by the EU president.
There are many things I could share from his talk but here's the things that stuck me most.

He told a story about working with the board of a large company. They asked why should the commercial world bother with the fluffy world of happiness as happiness doesn't really sell anything ?
He replied
1) What is the name of the best selling meal in the world?
2) Why do all watches in watch adverts show the time at 10 past 10?
(answers on twitter @philparkerlp and below).

He also asked people to think of something that made them happy.
He then asked everyone how many of these categories it fitted into
1) It didn't cost much money
2) It was a surprise
3) It involved somebody else
4) It gave you positive feedback
The research suggests that 90% of people would choose a memory that contained at least two these elements.
And yet people spend so much time trying to get happier by getting more money or by trying to do things alone. Yet the research suggests that happiness is related to hanging out with other people and of course you will naturally need to involve somebody else if you want to be surprised or receive positive feedback!

The final thing I would like to share with you is capacity for optimism or pessimism and how intrinsically that is linked to our health and happiness.
One definition is that pessimism is looking at the worst whilst optimism is looking at what's possible, whilst writing this I saw an interesting photo which I think sums this up.

Either this is great fun and hilarious or it is a horrendous mess that needs to be cleaned up.
Both things are true: the question is which one is more useful for dealing with the situation?

Answers to the 2 earlier questions:
World's best selling meals are, of course, 'Happy Meals'.
Watches are set at 10 past 10 because it makes them look as if they are happy and smiling; smiles make people happy and happiness sells (watches with hands set at 8:20 look like a frown and so don't sell so well).

Read more about how to get happiness in my HayHouse book 'The Ten Questions'
and with the festive season upon us check out my blog on how to have a Happy Christmas .

Thanks for reading, do you have any suggestions for what you'd like me to cover in this weeks blogs or any questions? If so please leave a comment
Much Love

Phil x

And check out my itunes topping Essential NLP podcast. Practical skills for a great life.

Designing your future

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:10:00 GMT

Just writing a new book and thought I'd share this with you

Tips for happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 5 Oct 2012 11:30:00 +0100

My book arrives in Singapore

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 2 Oct 2012 13:31:00 +0100

These little beauties flew half way around the world to spread the news about the Lightning Process.
Go girls!!

I CAN DO IT conference

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 08:35:00 +0100

At the I CAN DO IT conference this weekend I was amazed by the number of people who wished to talk to me after hearing my lecture.
I felt very moved by one person in particular...
In my lecture I talked about how I'd been told I would never recover from a serious nerve injury I received when I was 20. My ulnar nerve, the one that controls the delicate finger movements, had been severed, and the medical prognosis for this injury is, basically, you'll never recover. Not good news if, like me, you're a professional guitarist and osteopath.

I decided I would find a way to prove them wrong, and I'm pleased to say, I did.
In my lecture I discussed what I thought was pivotal to my recovery and how this had resulted in my development of the Lightning Process.

After the talk a young woman came up to me.
"That was so inspiring" she said, and then broke down into tears.
After a few minutes composing herself and unnecessarily apologising for her outburst of emotion she explained herself by simply rolling up her sleeve.
There, obvious for everyone to see, was an almost identical injury to mine. 15 months previously she had severed her ulnar nerve too, and was told, just like I was , 'You'll never be able to move your fingers again.'
'You're the first person I have come across since I had my accident who had anything positive to say, was able to give me any hope of recovery. I can't thank you enough! I now think I've got a chance. Thank you, thank you.'

Wow! Words really do change futures; make sure you use yours well.
More about the subject of my talk
DÛ
At www.duing.org

Watch Phil's first lecture about the dû at the DO lectures Wales 2010