Philip Best

WHITE LOVE

2012-02-12T20:03:00.003Z

OLD FRIENDS

2012-02-06T18:24:00.005Z

Лилит

2012-02-05T12:50:00.003Z

1. depression
2. family disfunction
3. Time Loss
4. Asymmetric origins

13/01/12

Sorry I didn't call. I forgot.

Could you give me yr number & yr classes again please?

Hey, so how do you like ISS? I guess it's OK.

I don't want you to think I'm a bad person or anything. I don't like to fight. I hate fighting.

It's just when I had you on the ground, getting ready to hit you, I couldn't because you looked so helpless down there.

But then you swung at me so I started hitting and you started pulling my hair.

Well I'm laying in bed about 10pm, time for me to go to bed.

Listen OK? I know the way you are now. But I have a question to ask you.

I know this is going to sound dumb but do you kinda in a way like girls?

If so, I think it's so cool cuz it's so different.

Is that why you're so nice to me.

Do you think I'm cute or something?

Please tell me the truth.

FEEL LIKE I DO

2012-01-29T11:40:00.004Z

Beliefs: God, love at first sight, pre-marital sex, babies out of wedlock, peace :)

Disbeliefs: abortion, war, drugs, shooting up with needles, anything that can kill someone

Statement: In 10 years I hope to be very happily married! I want to have 1 kid and adopt 2.

I want to have a well-paying job & I want my Husband to have a well-paying job!

I want to live in a big house in the country with 10 mustangs. I also want a vacation home in the Bahamas!

I want to go to France for 2 years. I studied it (French) for 2 years (going on my 3rd year).

I hope to have gotten all of this mess behind me and be finished with it all!

I never want to see my family again.

MR BOOTS

2012-01-24T06:24:00.003Z

CHARMED CIRCLE

2012-01-17T19:37:00.003Z

NYC: Cunard White Star, 1934.

CAN'T TALK / LOCUST BELLS

2012-01-16T06:15:00.000Z

SENTIMENTAL HEARTS

2012-01-15T22:10:00.004Z

'SEX OFFENDER BOYFRIEND'

2012-01-06T11:28:00.002Z

RVX 2013

MIRROR WORLD IV

2012-01-05T23:41:00.004Z

I. 14 yr old Stephanie French, vanished walking home from her Berkeley junior high school. Her customary shortcut. Next seen several hundred miles from Berkeley, buried in a shallow grave in California's most northern mountains.

II. "I have to know about this" she said when I found her hiding under the covers of her bed in Malibu, stunned, disbelieving, flashlight in hand.

III. She was showing me the photographs Margaret Bourke-White did for Life of the ovens at Buchenwald.

IV. That was what she had to know.

Or ask the child who would not allow herself to fall asleep during most of 1946 because she feared the fate of 6 yr old Suzanne Degnan. Kidnapped from her bed in Chicago, dissected in a sink, and disposed of in pieces in the sewers of the far north side.

Or ask the child who 9 yrs later followed the search for 14 yr old Stephanie French.

V. Since the events surrounding the disappearances of both SD & SF occurred in circulation areas served by aggressive Hearst papers, both cases were extensively and luridly covered.

The lesson taught by the coverage was clear: childhood is by definition perilous.

To be a child is to be small, weak, inexperienced, the dead bottom of the food chain. Every child knows this, or did.

Knowing this is why children call Camarillo.

Knowing this is why children call Twentieth Century-Fox.

Joan Didion Blue Nights (2011)

HALF THE WORLD IS GASH

2011-11-21T02:52:00.000Z

Our prohibitions also bulwark our self-importance.

They fortify the construct that we adults are all initiates.

By conceit, we have earned access to an unwritten Talmud whose soul-shattering content we are sworn to conceal from "innocents" for their own good.

By pandering to this myth of the naif, we service our own legend.

Presumably we have looked the horror in the face, like staring into the naked eye of the sun, blistering into turbulent, corrupted creatures, enigmas to ourselves.

Gross with revelation, we would turn back the clock if we could, but there is no unknowing of this awful canon, no return to the blisfully insipid world of childhood, no choice but to shoulder this weighty black sagacity, whose finest purpose is to shelter our air-headed midgets from a glimpse of the abyss.

The sacrifice is flatteringly tragic.

What's a kid to find out? Presumably we lord over them an exclusive deed to sex, but this pretense flies so fantastically in the face of fact that it must result from some conspiratorial group amnesia.

To this day, some of my most intense sexual memories date back to before I was ten.

No, they have sex, too.

In truth, we are bigger, greedier versions of the same eating, shitting, rutting ruck, hell-bent on disguising from somebody, if only from a three-year-old, that pretty much all we do is eat and shit and rut.

Lionel Shriver We Need To Talk About Kevin (2003)

LUCKY

2011-11-20T05:41:00.003Z

FACTORY FARMED

2011-11-19T13:03:00.003Z

Los Angeles: Peace at the Border, 2006.

STILL SLUMMING

2011-11-18T06:26:00.005Z

Ilford: Barnardo's, 2005.

STAY AT HOME

2011-11-17T06:49:00.003Z

HE'S FOOLED YOU ALL

2011-11-16T06:52:00.004Z

from "I Apologize"

BEAUTIFUL MEN

2011-11-15T06:52:00.004Z

ARE WOMEN ANIMALS?

2011-11-13T07:18:00.000Z

Seattle: Madrona, 1981.

BREED ME

2011-11-12T07:09:00.004Z

NY: Simon & Schuster, 1974.

CUNNING

2011-11-06T14:18:00.002Z

SARAH MAGAZINE

2011-10-23T11:25:00.004+01:00

Vol. 1 No. 3

SAY FUCK

2011-10-18T19:35:00.002+01:00

NY: Simon & Schuster Audioworks, 2011.

KINSEY

2011-10-16T18:21:00.004+01:00

UNEXPLORED

2011-10-09T17:47:00.002+01:00

KNOW YOU BETTER

2011-09-29T06:55:00.001+01:00