The Photog Nazi {blog}

Happy Post Mother's Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Mon, 14 May 2012 11:14:00 +0000

Yesterday proved just how incredibly blesses I truly I am!

I get to be spoiled and pampered on mother's day! I get to be unapologetically lazy. And stuff myself full of yummy foods and cupcakes if I want to!

Yesterday was a great day to be a mom.

I woke up to a dozen paintings from my babies that said things like, "I love you to the moon and back!", and beautiful flowers, a touching card, delicious mini red velvet cupcakes and even beef jerky. (Because they know their mama.)

It was an awesome, awesome day.

Not a good "First"...

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sat, 12 May 2012 17:55:00 +0000

Grayson had a first last night! His first trip to the emergency room.

Feel free to "boo"!

G man started running a fever Thursday morning, low-grade, I assumed it was just another teething fever. By Friday morning his fever was a little higher, but as I hadn't noticed any other symptoms I was guessing it was still just teething taking him down. He nursed Friday morning and we headed out for errands. I noticed while we were out and about how lethargic he was but figured it was just the fever wearing him down.

When we got home Grayson wouldn't eat lunch but more concerning he wouldn't nurse. I also noticed him drooling which isn't common for him. {I honestly can't ever really remember him drooling, just not a drooler I suppose.} I began to have suspicions at that point that something was wrong and began wondering if his throat was bothering him. Grayson spent the afternoon extremely fussy, nothing seemed to help him, even if I got his fever down he just wasn't himself. The nursing strike continued as well as the drooling and when I noticed him actually gag and start crying I decided to check his throat. It was super hard to see but he did seem to have some white bumps on the back of his throat.

By this time it was early evening just as my doctor's office was closing. I tried calling them but didn't have any luck. I decided that I would take him to urgent care first thing in the morning. That evening things began to get worse. It had now been several hours without any hydration, and he had only two wet diapers all day. It got to the point where he was nearly inconsolable and I doubted he would be able to make it until the morning to go to urgent care. Of course by then urgent care was now closing.

It got to the point where I was debating if he should go to the ER. He had gone so long without nursing and peeing I was worried. I caved and called the on call service around 9:30 to see if they had any tips I could try to get him to nurse. They said a nurse would call back but that the wait time was as long as 2 hours. {Of course! Any other time and they call back right away!} By this time he was crying non-stop. Mel finally got him to sleep but he only slept around 40 minutes before he was up crying again.

I was worried for him! I knew the crying had to hurt his throat. :( I could tell he wanted to nurse but he just couldn't and it killed me. He would latch on for a few seconds and then when it came time to swallow he would just scream. I was a mess over it.

Finally the on-call nurse called back right around the 2 hour mark and Grayson was so inconsolable I had to have Mel take him from the room so she could hear me. She said normally they would tell me to just take him in, in the morning, but because he had gong so long without nursing or peeing that we should get him in to the ER.

I picked up my mom and we headed to uptown to the children's hospital.

It turns out Grayson has "Hand, Foot and Mouth's Disease". He never got any blisters on his hands or feet** but his poor mouth and throat are covered in them. They're very painful which is what caused the nursing strike. :(

They gave him ibuprofen and a dose of lidocaine and FINALLY Grayson nursed. It was sweet, sweet relief on SO many levels! {Apparently Grayson has gained and it was time to up his dose on ibuprofen and Tylenol but I hadn't realized so I wasn't giving him quite enough the whole time! :( }

Finally around 4 we were discharged.

Today he's still having a hard time nursing. I have to wait until it's time for more ibuprofen or Tylenol and then try and usually he's okay.

Luckily the doctor said the pain only lasts 24-48 hours.

Hopefully Grayson will be back to himself in no time!

So there's the story of G's first ER visit. Definitely one of my least favorite firsts.

**G had a couple of blisters pop up on a hand and foot this afternoon. :(

Our Week in iPhone Pics 4/29-5/5

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sun, 06 May 2012 19:51:00 +0000

I was as adament about taking pictures this week so I put many of the weeks photos in one big collage! {I used an awesome app called photoshake, it did it all for me! The pics aren't in any particular order so here's a little rundown from the week pic by pic {left to right}:

1- I came up with a really yummy slow cooker meal all on my own! Chicken teriyaki and stir fry veggies. YUM! 2- I snapped a pic of the clear blue sky coming out of our little country neighborhood. 3-Grayson doesn't love grass at ALL. We visited the park for a playdate and he wasn't enjoying the tall grass. 4- The kids have a crap-ton of Chuck E Cheese tickets! We turned them in for receipts. 5- Leah tries to force love upon her brother. He doesn't appreciate it. 6- I like to have fun with Siri on my iPhone. 7- Grayson chewing his thumb. Teething sucks. :( 8- Nursing 9- Sweet boy. 10- Sweet girl. 11- Ha! Me. With glasses. 12- Grayson went missing and was found sound asleep in the middle of the floor of his sisters' room. 13- Another bedtime pick of my sleepy boy. 14- The playdate at the park! G socialized with his friend Ben. 15- Passed out on one of my bff's couch! 16- Zzzzz 17- Spork! 18- Supporting a friend. 19- He didn't think the stir fry veggies were as awesome as I made them seem. 20- Leah with her beat up nose! 21- Baby legs! 22- Eyeballs 23- Kisses from Hailey 24- Beating the hit with fun in the sprinkler! 25- A very unhappy boy. :(

It was a busier week than usual considering we spend most days being rather lazy. {And my house paid the price. Holy disgustingness!} Besides the normal errands, grocery shopping, bank deposits, preschool, yadda-yadda, this week I helped my mom with some transportation to physical therapy appointments, had a playdate for the kids, a "playdate" for me with one of my bff's, pharmacy runs and prescription drop offs, and an eye doctor appointment for myself. Mel was hardly home at all and I missed him a ton.

Who knows what next week will bring!

I'm linking up with Amy from a good life {blog}!

Depression SUCKS

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sat, 05 May 2012 14:33:00 +0000

Sh*t is about to get deep up in here. Dark, cavernous abyss deep. (Which is pretty dang deep.) (Now I kind of want to watch The Abyss. Have you seen it? It pretty cool. It has the Mary -insert long hard to spell last name here- chick from Scarface and the guy with the piercing blue eyes and also water butterfly alien type things.) (Okay, enough about movies, this is a post for deep emotional things. And I am WAY off track.)

(Sorry for the long and confusing intro.)

I know my life is awesome. I have an amazing husband who is literally an answer to prayers. 4 gorgeous kids who make me proud and who love me unconditionally. Friends to laugh with or cry to. Family that love me. We are able to pay our bills on time and provide for our family without struggling to make ends meet. I am witness to prayers that are answered in our life time after time.

I don't have a private jet or a mansion but I still know that I "have it all".

I am thankful and grateful.

So why do I have to use every ounce of energy I hold to force myself out of bed each day? Why do I feel so unloved when I KNOW that I am?? Why do thoughts of suicide consume me some days? Why do I feel like I hate my life when I know how much I love it.

Why can't my heart feel what my brain knows?!

Depression is a sadistic mother f*cker.

It's something I have fought literally my entire life. There's not a time in my life where I wasn't battling demons in my head. I've fought long enough to know that it's just a season, that the feelings will pass and that the thoughts are not real, but that they are lies told to me by a disease I have been cursed with.

I know it's a sickness, and that while I feel like I'm not going to make it through the day, that I may wake up the next day and feel okay.

But that doesn't make it any easier.

What really kills me are the days when my brain gives me a one two punch and I'm not only hit down with depression but also attacked with crippling anxiety.

Today? Is one of those days.

Today? I can literally picture what the cool metal barrel of a gun would feel like and taste like in my mouth. I can imagine running my tongue along the groves, before pulling the trigger. I wonder if I would even hear a bang, feel an instant shock or any pain or if it would be instant. Here one second gone the other.

I wonder if I would find myself in heaven or hell or no where at all, just an echo in space. A life vaporized. Just a speck in time.

Luckily I know that I'm sick. And that instead of a cough or fever, I'm having suicidal thoughts. And that like a cough, eventually they will go away.

What's sad are those that take those thoughts too far. Forgetting all that life has to offer, forgetting that tomorrow is a new day and that they may wake up and feel better. What's sadder are those that don't even know that they're sick. Those who don't know that what they're feeling are just lies being told from a sickness they can't control.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones.

Sometimes I wonder if I should take medicine. I feel like I do so well without it and I have a deep seeded fear that if I took medicine to kill the dark thoughts that it would sneak in and kill the funny thoughts or the creative thoughts or other thoughts that I actually WANT to have. I haven't had good experience with head meds.

But it would really be nice to not have days like this.

Depression sucks. And you really only know that if you've dealt with it. Either through yourself or through a loved one.

But depression is part of who I am.

I can't blog about the good without blogging about the bad too. This blog, I feel, has really become an extension of myself. And it couldn't be an accurate extension if I didn't include the f*cked up parts of me too.

That's all.

PS There's also an adorable pet rat, water tube creatures, sadness, and a rekindling of love. I'm talking about the movie again. I don't have pet rats anymore...or water tube creatures.

PPS Blogging from my phone again which relieves me from spelling and grammar duties.

My Personal Chef: A Chicken Teriyaki and Stir Fry Veggie Recipe

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Fri, 04 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

This evening we enjoyed a highly nutritious and superbly delectable meal provided by our very own personal chef.

That sentence is roughly 90% fact. If you replaced "personal chef" with "crock pot" and "highly nutritious" with "pretty healthy" you'd be dead on.

Seriously though? It was good. :)

I'm all about some crock pot cooking now. For a multitude of reasons! The crock pot is the perfect fit for me because: A) I'm lazy. B) I freeze a crap ton of meat and I suck at remembering to leave it out to thaw. C) It's so easy! You just :::insert cheesy infomercial voice here::: "Set it and forget it!" Der, hur, hur! D) Dinner basically cooks itself.

If you can dump a bunch of food into a pot, you can cook a meal.

Tonight we had chicken teriyaki with stir fry veggies. I can't really call it "stir fry" because I didn't stir fry it. I crock potted it. {Is that a verb? Because I just made it one.}

It was oh-so very, very yummy. If you would like to know how you can enjoy this yummy dinner yourself, keep reading...

Here is what you need:

•Frozen chicken breasts. I used two breasts that looked like they came from a pterodactyl which probably means I just pumped my family full of growth hormones. {Yay for premature puberty!} (I'm just kidding. I'm disgusted with myself.) (And premature puberty.) Anyway, however much chicken it takes to feed your family? Use that much.
•Teriyaki suauce. My fave is Ken's Steak House Marinade & Sauce in the Honey Teriyaki flavor. {YUMMMMMMMMM}
•Stir fry veggies. I used two bags of frozen stir fry veggies. My fave is Birds Eye Steamfresh Chef's Favorite Asian Medley. It has all my fave stir fry veggies, broccoli, carrots, baby corn, and sugar snap peas, with a little hint of Asian seasoning. Most importantly? It DOESN'T have water chestnuts. Water chestnuts are the devil and my husband and I hate them. If you love water chestnuts your sanity is questionable and it's possible that I don't even like you anymore. That's how badly I hate water chestnuts. {There's no flavor! How can you even like something that doesn't have flavor?!} (Also the consistency is horrid. It feels disgusting. Ugh. I'm shivering just imagining the wretched crunch...) (The consistency of water chestnuts makes coconut seem enjoyable.)
•Rice. Any rice at all. I like white. (White rice has really become the red headed step child of the grain world.) I know brown rice is all the rage. But I like good old white rice.
•Water. Do people normally even put that in ingredients? Don't they just add it in later, "add a 1/2 cup of water"? Or is it there on the ingredient list?

Is this even considered an ingredient list and recipe? Because basically you're just throwing stuff into pots.

Oh! And a crock pot! You will definitely need one of those.

Here's what you do:

1. Throw your frozen chicken into the crock pot.
2. Cover the chicken with 3/4 of a bottle of teriyaki sauce.
3. Pour 2 cups of water around the bottom of the crock pot.
4. Cover (Honestly, I would hope that you would know to do that, but you never know with people these days.) Set the crock pot on "high" and leave it for 4 hours.
5. Remove the chicken breasts, cut into pieces, put back into crock pot.
6. Stir in frozen stir fry veggies. (Don't forget to cover it again!)
7. While that cooks, make the rice, stirring the chicken and veggies every once in a while.
8. By the time the rice is done, so should the chicken and veggies! (Well, only if you're using minute rice like me. If you use a rice steamer, I can't really tell you because I have NO idea how long those things take.)
9. Serve the chicken and veggies over the rice, drizzle with a little bit of the remaining teriyaki sauce.
10. Enjoy!

The Big Question of 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Thu, 03 May 2012 13:37:00 +0000

What?! No blog post today? Well this may come as surprise but this IS a blog post. This right here, the thing that you are reading. (And the fact that I had to point that out to you is ridiculous.)

I'm am sitting in my van, windows down, enjoying a gorgeous spring morning while Grayson naps in his car seat, thinking about tomorrow. (I'm thinking about tomorrow, not Grayson. Well he might be too, but honestly how would I know?) (I'm waiting on my mom tiger* out of physical therapy. Sitting in cars for no apparent reason is not something I typically do.) (Unless an awesome song comes on just as I'm exiting. But then I would be sitting listening to music and that would be a reason.) Okay, back to the matter at hand...

Tomorrow is a big day. That may be a vast overstatement. It depends on what scale you're using to decide if a day is "big". On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being your wedding day and/or birth of your child, and 1 being a normal day at home doing nothing then tomorrow rates somewhere around 1.5 MAYBE 2. (It all depends on the turn of events.)

I apologize for the suspense, I know you're dying to know what is occurring tomorrow.

So i will just tell you. I am going to an optometrist for an eye exam! Dun...dun...duuuunnnnn... I know, I couldn't believe it myself.

When I had my physical done last week, they did the normal vision test. You know, the typical big E at the top followed by rows of letters that become smaller the further down you go. It had been probably 12 years or more since my last test, and I remembered how I use to rock that thing reading all the way to the bottom with my eagle eyes. When they asked me to start reading off the letters out loud I almost laughed out loud. Some mischievous nurse had replaced the chart with something else. At first I was concerned that they were really mean nurses and possibly had something wrong with them. But then I decided that they were just trying to be entertaining and were probably normal and maybe really nice. Then finally I realized they weren't playing a trick on me, I just literally couldn't see sh*t.

All I could do was laugh nervously and awkwardly and talk about how it used to be so clear and "Now, haha, it's so fuzzy! Haha...".

I was able to read the E, duh, had to work on the first line, REALLY work on the third and then just guessed for the remaining letters. "Um, it's either an E, an R, a B, or a Koala eating a potato."

Eye charts don't have pictures of koalas eating potatoes.

I knew I was in trouble. And that my days of braggable vision and smug "no I have perfect eyes" when asked if I wore glasses or contacts were most likely over. My fears were confirmed when the doc came in and as he came across the results let out a surprised, "Oh! Wow it looks like we'll be referring you to an eye doctor.". I told him that it was a relieving to know that they wouldn't randomly put a drawing of a koala eating a potato in the middle of an eye chart. He gave me a brief blank stare and then continued with my exam.

To be honest I'm a little nervous. Mostly because I remember them making me look at a little red light and then blowing acidic gas (or possibly just air) into my eyes, startling me and causing me to fear little red lights for the rest my life. And also because I don't want to wear glasses. I want I be able to brag and be smug. Glasses aren't a good look for me. Also I have a big head and they tend to squeeze my head and give me headaches. And I already have headaches all the time. My mother insists they will fit the glasses to my head but that sounds a little sketchy to me. (I don't really find that to be sketchy I just don't want glasses.) She also said that the reason I probably get headaches is because I need glasses. I don't understand her logic.

I'm holding out hope that they will tell me that I'm just getting old and having normal age related vision loss and that there's nothing they can do except give me a magnifying glass and tell me to hope for the best.

I suppose we shall see.

I will be sure to update everyone on the state off my vision as well as the big question of 2012, "Will Brianne have to wear glasses? Or no?".

*My mom is not a tiger, that was my phone toying with autocorrect. But I thought it was funny and would be cool if you thought my mom was a tiger until the end of this post.

Also, I'm typing this entire post with my thumbs on my phone so I apologize for any typos.

Teething Babies Are Sad :(

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Wed, 02 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Behold, a teething baby...

Grayson was so pitiful Monday night. :( His teeth were giving him all sorts of fits and he just couldn't settle.

We gave him some Tyelnol and he was finally able to doze off.

Poor nugget.

I can't remember that far back, but I would imagine that jagged bone piercing your soft tender gums would be quite painful.

I wish I wasn't so incredibly terrified of Orajel now. That sh*t used to work SO good. I remember it numbing my finger when I applied it. I remember imagining all the things I could do with it. Mostly things like, numbing my nipples in the beginning weeks of nursing, or numbing my skin before a tattoo. Those types of things. I use the all-natural Orajel now but it doesn't numb my finger when applied so I can't imagine it working as well.

I always say I'm going to cave and bust out the original Orajel during the day when I can watch Grayson, but of course that's not when his teeth are bothering him, and during the day I can use the old wash cloth or bagel in the freezer trick.

Now I'm craving a bagel.

Anyway, teething sucks.

Magic Carpet Sharks

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

What is it about seeing a great white shark smiling at me from my television that instantly has my body tense with fear.

(Yes, great whites DO indeed smile.) (No, I'm serious.) (Tell me THIS isn't a smile!!!) (<---"THIS" is a link...click on it.)

I literally lay in fear, poised, waiting for a shark to suddenly leap from my carpeted floor and pluck me from my once-safe and cozy bed.

I instantly find myself tucking my elbows in, leaving nothing available for whatever magical rogue white shark lay in wait.

Stupid magic carpet sharks.

{My view from the edge of my bed. Where I know a magic carpet shark is going to appear and dismember me at any given moment. Excuse the mess. Those are my jammer pants, and some nightly reading.}

GJR 10 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 22:12:00 +0000

{This is from your 9 month session, but I never shared it! How cute are you?! Christine from Dimples & Curls Photography is a-ma-zing!}

Dear Grayson,

I'm not ready for you to be 10 months. I'm honestly not. :( Two months away from your first birthday?!?! It makes me sad times a million. :(

My sweet, sweet boy, your 10th month has been yet another big month for you! Here are some of the awesome things you've done this past month:

•MASTERED walking. When you started out the month you had just begun taking your first steps. Within a week you were walking almost as much as you were crawling! Eventually you were only crawling when you fell and didn't have anything to pull up on. Now? You can stand up all on your own without anything to pull up on. Mama's so proud of you!

•Started communicating! You're signing like a PRO! Your "vocabulary" grew like crazy this past month! You're signing "more", "milk", waving and saying "bye", you clap your hands when we say "yay!", you shake your finger and say "baa bo" {bad boy}, and you shake your head "no".

•"Fetch" Diapers! LOL Okay, I didn't know what to call this, if daddy or I ask if you need a diaper you walk over to your diaper basket, pull it off the shelf, take off the lid, and get a diaper! We think you're incredibly brilliant and obedient, and hope you stay that way! ^_^

•Took your first BIG BOY BATH! Okay, I think that's also what I called it when you had a bath after your umbilical stump fell off, but in this sense I'm talking bath sans the baby tub. You LOVED it! It's become your favorite thing to do.

•Celebrated your 1st Easter! Grandma and Aunt Michelle visited from Pennsylvania. The Easter bunny brought you a basket of goodies, we enjoyed a morning church service, and a yummy lunch of ham with good fixin's, followed by your first Easter egg hunt!

•Got your first real SHOES! Grandma took you to get your first Stride Rites to help with your walking. I remember getting Joshua his first shoes, and Hailey, and Leah, and now I've bought "first shoes" for the last time. :(

Your personality is amazing. You are so funny! If we laugh at something you do it over, and over, laughing and giggling along the way! You're such a sweet, sweet boy. I love that you give us all lovin's and nestle your little head into us. You're by far one of my most cuddly babies EVER. I love, love it and I never ever want it to change.

Things You Love:

Dada! {Duh} And mama, and Hailey, and Joshua, and Leah, and everyone! {But I think you love mama and dada the most, as you should. ^_^}

GETTING INTO THINGS! LOL You're honestly into EVERYthing. We've had to up the anti with child locks on everything. Make sure doors are shut, things are put high out of reach. But there's still always something, somewhere for you to make a mess. Usually the trash bin near the craft corner, or under mama's sink where all of my body sprays are stored.

My iPad. It doesn't even have to be on. You will sit and talk to your reflection forever! You do love the Fisher Price apps too though.

Buddy Fruits! These are your fave foods right now! You will suck one down so fast! I've learned, however, that you don't care for anything with mango too much.

Playing outside! You love being outside, even if you're just sitting in your stroller! You stand at the windows watching your bubby and sissys playing, longing to join them. You don't love grass though. Grass you could do without.

Joshua's Nerf sword. You toted that sword around an entire day! It gets put up, but the second it's out you go straight for it.

Things WE love?

♥ YOU! ♥

Musical Monday #27

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

♫♪And be calm.

Be calm.

I know you feel like you were breaking down.

Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes.

Be calm.♪♫

M'yesssss! It's Fun. again. You may as well get used to it, because I'm 95% sure that next weeks post will be another song from this A-Muh-ZING band!

I ♥ them.

Freckled Fatty

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 17:35:00 +0000

Sometimes I like to check my stats for fun.

I used to use Google analytical a long time ago when gaining a large readership concerned me. Now I just use the "stats" tab in the Blogger dashboard. I honestly don't really care how many readers I have or why, but you know curiosity always gets the best of us. (It gets the best of me anyway, I feel awkward speaking for the rest of you.) (Sorry about that.)

For some strange reason "Joe Jonas wearing glasses" used to bring a ton of traffic my way. I don't recall ever blogging about Joe Jonas and glasses. But I also wouldn't put it past me.

Recently the terms "thick white girl" and "fat white chick" have brought unsuspecting viewers my way.

Is google psychic? Is there something about the themes of my posts that it just KNOWS I'm a fat white girl? I may blog about my chubby curves {more buldgy than curvy I must admit}, and thick layers of meat that warm my bones. But I hardly refer to myself as a "fat white chick". It's also strange how google just assumes that I'm white. I can't tan if my life depended on it. But I rock my fair share of freckles. If anything I would consider myself a "freckled fatty".

How come no one has found me when googling "freckled fatty"??? Is that something people like? I can hardly imagine someone having a taste for thick white girls, but not freckled fattys.

If you're here looking for thick fat white chick girls, I'm sorry but you've come to the wrong place.

I hardly ever post pics of myself.

And if I do, it rarely shows my bulkiness. (My bulkiness is for my husbands eyes only.)

If you've come across this post because you googled "freckled fatty" then good for you! It's good to know someone out there appreciates the abnormal.

However I must admit you're too out of luck....sorry.

PS As it turns out, I did indeed blog about Joe Jonas wearing glasses.

our week in iPhone pics 4/23-4/27

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 01:57:00 +0000

monday was super chilly compared to weeks past! Like, coats and hats chilly. It was still a beautiful day despite the drastic drop in temps. I spent the morning with my mom applying for assistance with our health insurance. I made a face puppet to keep Leah occupied. It worked! When we got home I jumped for a bit with Leah and Grayson, but it was just too cold and windy and it wasn't long before it was drizzling so we came in. Joshua had a doctor appointment for a med refill so I packed everyone up for the office visit. Monday night my knee decided be a douche and I ended up having to wrap it in an ace, then put my pj's on, then put my brace on, just to get some sleep. My knees are assholes.

tuesday I had to drive into uptown "the big city". Charlotte calls themselves uptown rather than downtown. Charlotte sounds like a pretty stuck up town. Once we made it back to my little old craptown, we met up for lunch with my sister and mother at one of our fave Mexican restaurants. {Queso makes me weak in the knees. My asshole knees.} My poor husband didn't get home from work until 10pm. {14 hour days suck. :(} Grayson was happy to see his dada, unfortunately the big kids didn't even get to see him, they were already in bed asleep. When I went in to check on them I found Leah had "put on lipstick" aka drew all over mouth with a blue marker. Which is okay with me because I have an awesome blackmail pic for future use!

wednesday & thursday I wasn't as instagram crazy as I usually am. So I put them into one little collage. Wednesday and Thurday also kind of ran in together. I honestly can't remember what happened when...I know they were pretty days with scattered storms. Hailey got a "Star Student" award! So proud of my girl! I had to send Leah to school with a blue mustache from Tuesday night's incident {that must've been Wednesday} and my new adorable purse came Thursday! {I've been waiting on that thing FOREVER it seems!} I painted my nails for the first time in a long time, I'm loving the color.

friday came, and there was no school! I hung with my babies all day long. :) The girls played dress up all day, we had a super yum lunch, and they played outside until daddy came home. The hubs came home and I took Leah to mamaws so that Hailey, my sister and I could go see Hunger Games, and the boys could have a night to themselves. Hailey's been begging me forever to see Hunger Games so I finally caved. I worried she'd find it scary but she loved it! We stopped by Target and Walmart on the way home for some birthday presents and a few groceries and came home late. Friday was a good day. :)

I am linking up with Amy from a good life {blog}! ^_^

$h*t my Kids Say

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:51:00 +0000

Hailey: Who cut the cheese? (pauses) You know, Daddy knows what that saying means because PA is close to Virginia.

Me: What does that have to do with anything?

Hailey: That's what people in Virginia say! They don't know what "fart" and "toot" mean.

Me: (blank stare)

Hailey: What? (shrugs shoulders and walks away)

And the hilarity ensued! I think one of the many of my favorite things about being a mom is getting to laugh at the things that these kids say!

Your Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:30:00 +0000

Teaching my son the art of "Your Mom" jokes has proved to be quite tasking. I imagine it's a hard concept to grasp for some. Especially when they're creative and want to to embellish every comeback.

Me: Alright Joshua I want you to say things to me that mean kids have said to you.

Joshua: Your haircut is stupid.

Me: Your mom's haircut is stupid.

Joshua: But...you are my mom.

Me: I know but this is what you're supposed to be saying remember? Okay now you try, I'm going to say something mean and you say the exact same thing to be but about my mom. Okay...Ew Joshua, your breathe stinks!

Joshua: Oh yea? Well I bet your mom is ugly and has the smelliest breathe EVER!

Mom: Uhhhh...okay....good, good, but you don't have to add, just say the exact same thing, but add "Your mom" in front of it. Let's try again. Joshua, you're stupid.

Joshua: Not as stupid as your mom.

Me: Better! Better, but again, if you just keep it simple and repeat back what they say, but just add "your mom" to it, you will really get the point across better. It's funnier that way.

We went back and forth for a while. It took a little bit, I had to do lots of coaching and examples, but in the end I think he got it!

I understand that teaching my son to retaliate to bullies with "your mom" may be frowned upon. But considering what I really want to do is to teach my son to tell those little bastards to "go f*ck" themselves I consider "your mom" jokes to be much more appropriate. So no judging.

Allergy Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

I'm going to rub my eyeballs right out of my head. Either that or just rub them into smithereens. I'm going to invent and market brillo pad eye rubbers. I could so use one right now...

At this time of year I seriously wish I were able to remove my eyeballs, scrub them clean, rinse them off, and then put them back.

I mean, seriously. Do you see my eyes up there?! Swollen. Bloodshot. Ew. Ugly. Grossness. And trust me when I say that they feel about 3x worse than they look.

I've tried OTC allergy eye drops. They work about as well as water. Benedryl? Knocks me out like Nyquil. Zyrtec, Allegra, they may work but they're expensive. {Does that reveal how poor I am?}

Anyway, I just wanted to share with everyone the extent of which I HATE ALLERGIES. And my eyes. I hate them too.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Silly Monkey! Breast Milk's for Babies!

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Me: I forgot to tell you! I saw a woman breastfeeding a monkey yesterday. On the National Geographic channel.

Melvin: Uh-huh. {Continues to watch television.}

Me: This doesn't fascinate...shock...interest you?

Melvin: No. Not really. Not if it was on the National Geographic channel.

Me: I didn't say it was on a show about some tribe. I mean...it was on a show about a tribe. A tribe in the woods. Or forest, or jungle, or whatever. But I didn't say that. It could have been on Doomsday Preppers. That shows on NGC too you know.

Melvin: {Stares at TV.}

Me: Hello?

Melvin: Oh sorry, I'm watching this.

How can ANYone have someone share with them the AMAZINGLY FASCINATING story of a woman breastfeeding a monkey and not have a MILLION questions? Not share in their enthusiasm?! Not partake in their morbid curiosity?!

I'm baffled.

For those that are DYING to know {as I would be if I were on the receiving end of this information} the woman was feeding her pet. She told the camera, "I have to breastfeed him. Because if I didn't, he would die.". Which I really don't understand, because the men in the tribe were hunting monkeys. And there were a LOT of monkeys. Alive monkeys. Alive monkeys that ate and drank and lived without breast milk from a human person.

(She also added that the monkey doesn't bite, because it's tame. I don't know. That seems a little like playing Russian Roulette with nipples to me...)

I find it fascinating that this woman wasn't kicked out her hut for breastfeeding her monkey. She didn't even receive the slight hint of side eye! And she was feeding an animal. With her boob.And here, where we live, we can't nourish our own CHILDREN without looks of disgust and disapproval.

Maybe I will start a revolution of breastfeeding animals. An idea that's SO incredibly f*cked up, that people will BEG for us to breastfeed our children instead of beasts. And then I won't have anxiety over flashing side boob if my baby is hungry. So if anyone wants to start that revolution...go ahead. I'm good though. Plus, I don't have any pets.

The Neverending Story...I Mean Soap, The Never Ending Soap

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

I am not one to brag. But when you are the soul owner of a magical possession, it's only so long before you share your story.

This may seem like an ordinary pump bottle of soap. But don't let it fool you. This particular bottle is special. Very special indeed.

This bottle of soap is a never ending, bottomless pit of soapyness.

I am not exaggerating.

(I may be exaggerating.) (Just a little bit.)

I have used this soap for a VERY long time. For as long as I can remember. Possibly since the beginning of time. Or since January. Which is almost like the beginning of time because it's the beginning of the year.

The thing is, this soap has been on the verge of empty for weeks now. Every day, multiple times a day, I have found myself using the soap and thinking, "Oh this soap is just about gone, this is probably the last pump...I need a replacement.".

That little soap dispenser must have not only the magical ability to regenerate, but also the power of telepathy. It must know it's on the verge of replacement. And it's REFUSING to go down without a fight.
It's become "The Little Soap That Could" so-to-speak.

I've continued to be impressed with this generic brand antibacterial hygienic aid. I can only hope it continues to use this display of determination and regeneration.

I have a very small stock pile of hand soaps, willing and eager to be called to duty. But until that time comes?

Pump on my little soap dispenser...pump on.

our week in iPhone pics 4/16-4/20

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 14:06:00 +0000

monday {the pics are in no particular order} was a lazy day. we had a great morning, followed by a beautiful walk outside. I picked up lunch from one of my FAVORITE places, ChickFilA, and Grayson proved his Houdini skills when he escaped the confines of his highchair belt and STOOD. I was close to heart failure, but of course snapped a pic. Homework was done and then an afternoon of cartoon watching {the regular show and adventure time FTW!} commenced until I booted the kids out the door to play.

tuesday {pics are in random order} Grayson was in trouble the second we walked in the door from taking Leah to preschool. His new favorite is dumping the office/craft space trash bin. He enjoyed his fave, a Buddy Fruits pouch and then had his VERY first big boy bath with out a baby tub or seat! ^_^ He LOVED it. Leah was sad when we dropped Milo off with Mamaw and pouted her way home. At some point Grayson decided that cribs are delicious. He enjoys a afternoon gnawing of his. Hailey and I drew each other while Joshua worked on homework and then we ended the evening with roast beef roll-ups for dinner. Did I mention the best part of the day? The Bloggess' book arrived!!!!!

wednesday Hailey was home with us Wednesday, prepping for her medical procedure. She was banished to clear fluids only, and had to drink 32 oz. of Big Foot's urine. Or something that may as well have been. She made it through like a champ. We got a nice Spring rain and I conquered Mr. Laundry. Leah spent the afternoon and slept over at mamaw's so it was a pretty chill day.

thursday was a big day. {For us, that's not saying much.} We arrived at the hospital at 7:30am for Hailey's procedure. It went great, she was a trooper, and everything came back normal. They took some biopsies so we're hoping for an answer to be revealed through their findings. Most of our time spent in the hospital was just waiting. Grayson did pretty well considering. Afterwards we promised Hailey a meal wherever she desired. She chose IHOP and I couldn't deny her a chocolate smiley face pancake. The rest of the day once we made it home was pretty average. Hailey slept off the remaning medicine in her system, Grayson was his normal mischevious self, and I took a couple of opportunities for some self pics.

friday I had a well overdue check up. Grayson was also seen for his persistent allergies. He formed a bond with one of Joshua's Nerf swords and I snapped pics of him wielding his foamy weapon all day. He's like a little mini He-Man. I showed Joshua a book I downloaded for him on the iPad. He loved it. It's got zombies, it's for kids, and the main character's name is Josh. Of course he loves it! We got take out for dinner, Joshua and I ate Japanese, while everyone else had Wendy's. I had to get me a frosty though. You can't so "no" to a Wendy's frosty?! I can't anyway...

I am linking up with the beautiful Amy from a good life blog. You should join us. ^_^

True Story

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 03:01:00 +0000

Breathless, afraid, clearly fresh from escaping a horrific brush with death, "I almost fell to my death and died."

Uninterested, not an air of concern, one may even go as far as saying 'heartless', "How?"

Agitated, perplexed, on the verge of tears, "Trying to turn the stupid light off!"

Uncaring, smug in every way, "Were you trying to turn it off from the bed?"

Animated with shock and disbelief, "Yes! How do you know everything?!"

"Because that's something the kids would do..."

Hangs head in shame, "Shut up..."

I won't name any names. I will leave it up to the reader to put the puzzle together. I will say though that certain husbands should be more concerned for their wives lives. Or at the very least the muscles they strained while they desperately thwarted a scary fall to the floor...

Home Haircuts

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:21:00 +0000

I've been saving money by cutting Mel's hair at home for years. Recently I also began cutting Joshua's. It's not the best, but it's free! I think he looks handsome with a good clean cut. ^_^

Musical Monday #26

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000

I am loving Fun.! I am currently in love with Nate Ruess' voice. So pretty much anything he sings, I find myself swooning over. I hadn't heard this song before Thursday, but the second I heard it I knew who it was!

Do you recognize it? If you're a Grey's Anatomy fan you might!

What are you listening to this week?

i ♥ my crazy kids

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 22:07:00 +0000

Leah and Joshua March 2012

our week in iPhone pics 4/9-4/13

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 18:57:00 +0000

monday our first 'official' day of Spring break! Allergy eyes? Suck. I literally want to remove them, scrub them down, rinse them off, and replace them. I have not found any eyedrops that help as of yet...the kids played with their cousins, who says boys can't play barbies? Grayson watched as they rode bikes, and I got my nightmarish tupperware cabinet organized! woo-hoo!

tuesday Gray was the one hit with allergy eyes. Poor guy. :( I took tons of pics of the house. We will be leaving soon and this was my first real home! The girls loved their TV. {It was a CraigsList score tagalong.} Hailey loves her some Grayson.

wednesday I received a surprise package from my dad and step shu! How perfect is that tee and sticker?? Grayson watched longingly from the windows while the big kids enjoyed awesome weather. Hailey's eyes were looking super green that day, the pic doesn't do them justice. Kids Eat Free Wednesday means Firehouse Subs for dinner!

thursday morning was filled with Grayson's dramatics. He would throw himself into my lap repeatedly. His hair is getting so long it's coming well over his ears! The kids chillaxed with movies, and another surprise package came! Super yummy chocolates.

friday the week completed with a final A-MA-ZING surprise in the mail. The Bloggess' signature. Now I just need my book to stick that bad boy on...I shared a pic of my awesome new hair growth from post partum hair loss. My friend is suffering the same thing. Joshua was holed up on the couch with a tummy bug. Of course there's more dramatics from Gray. My sister came last night and hung out for a while.

So what was your week like? I'm linking up with Amy from a good life {blog}.

"Bye!"

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 14:59:00 +0000

Grayson is growing and changing and learning at the speed of light it seems. One of his newest "tricks" is waving and saying, "bye". It's more of a "bu". But for a 9 month old I'll take it!

More!

noreply@blogger.com (Brianne) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 11:00:00 +0000