piano is my drum

Girl Scout Sunday / Count your blessings

mai_ling — Sun, 09 Mar 2025 20:01:23 GMT

Today is Girl Scouts Sunday.
And that saying count your blessings.

I’ve been blessed - 6 years as Service Unit Manager for Quapaw. However my term is coming to a close at the end June. Not in the way I wanted it to. I have been through highs and lows. Before the start of this year and through this year it’s been the lowest of lows. And it caused me to be forced out of a position that I have sincerely enjoyed being in because of the love of Girl Scouts, seeing leadership growth, growing ideas for our area and most importantly seeing the growth of girls in our area. Despite being kicked out I am thankful.

The incident reports submitted by my Service Unit team and others didn’t deter me or
Make me feel weak or vulnerable, it made me stronger. Being questioned for my actions when it’s for the good for our Service Unit showed me pettiness of what they lack in teamwork and brainstorming. All it did was showed lack of leadership, personal growth and a broader scope of what it beyond our area.

The toxicity, harassment, bullying and mental abuse I’ve endured has me realize that there are opportunities out there for me, my daughter and her awesome troop to thrive beyond.

I’m not a quitter. I was born from a family that strive thru prejudice. I will leave with grace and wish whomever takes over the best of luck in the environment that was created and is now no longer a place I'd wish to be around.

One door closes, another opens.

I have been asked to write articles for a national publication, I have the pinball community embracing me for the youth pinball and I have fundraising events I’m organizing for GSNI. I was nominated for a TWIPY this year and at the end of April I’m receiving a special award from GSNI for the hundred of hours I’ve put in. I’m thankful for all the people who look past my weaknesses and see my strengths. And recognize I’m a valued member to the communities I belong to.

If someone strikes you down with words and actions, there’s always a way to find yourself to come out stronger and better than them.

We are only a small speck in society.

There’s a bigger world out there but for some, conquering by being toxic and to bully and harass shows their weakness as a person.

They are smaller than you.

You only have to account for yourself, not others and those who see that will praise you and thank you for what you do. We are individuals and can be independent thinkers and leaders, and inspire and aspire to be greater.

That’s all you need in life.
Know your own strengths.

“ Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”

/Veteran’s Day

mai_ling — Mon, 11 Nov 2024 20:11:22 GMT

@followers @highlight

I am the daughter of a WWII draftee
I am the daughter of a Paper Son
I am the daughter of a immigrant
I am the daughter of a citizen of the USA
I am the daughter of a proud American
I am the daughter of someone who fought for our freedom.
I am the daughter who made sure 60 years after he parted he received his medals
I am the daughter of a world class magician, entertainer, inventor and sportsman who made it on his own.
I am the daughter of a Chinese man who married a white American woman in the 1970’s when it was frowned upon.
I am a 1st generation half-Chinese daughter of a proud father who fought against prejudice even though prejudice was against him. If someone who was discriminated for his color. Who despite all the laws against the Chinese and was able to earn his citizenship despite having to wait 10 years, voted, learned the English language and embraced what it is to live in the USA.

Because freedom is not free.

400,000 men and women died in WWII to give our generation and the generations to come the change to have equal rights, to right to be who we are, too choose for ourselves.

Freedoms is not free.

Read that again.

Happy Veterans Day to all those served.

#VeteransDay #VeteransDay2024

15 years

mai_ling — Sat, 21 Sep 2024 11:47:06 GMT

The goal is to eat lunch forever
with someone you can seriously eat lunch with
While snacking in between.

Happy 15 years of lunches and
And Happy 16 years of snacks.
(Yes we got married on our first date a year later)
As we start another year together buddy.

#weddinganniversary
#15yearsmarried #16yearsdating
#15yearweddinganniversary
#lunches #snacks

Grief and Grieving

mai_ling — Sat, 31 Aug 2024 14:51:57 GMT

“I ain’t afraid to die anymore. I’d done it already.” Hugh Glass, “The Revenant”

Today is Grief Awareness Day.

What is grief?
Grief is defined as deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.

Then you think about what is death?
the action or fact of dying or being killed; the end of the life of a person or organism

In Tarot card meaning it can be change.

And that’s why Grieving can be in two forms at least for me ;
The loss of someone or the change of someone who once was.

In hindsight, I believe all change and become someone in increments in time.
Much like the 7 year itch. But in reality we only think of grief when we have truly lost someone.
Returning to the idea of death or change.

My personal journey into grief is probably no different than anyone else but do really ponder about it? Probably me more than you or maybe not?

I think when anyone in our lives who we are close to passes away it affects us.
Being an only child, my closest friends growing up were like siblings to me. I have lost friends due to accidents, suicides and natural causes. And each one always hits me differently in
The way they affected my life personally. I find myself numb. I have no thoughts or reasonings on how I feel. I am not always sure how I feel honestly. Sometimes it can take me a while to
Put my feelings into words or in other cases, music. I sometimes step away and look at myself
Objectively and thinking about how we get here, to give some justification over why this event happened.

But then what if its not due to the passing of someone, but a loved one who has their own chronically ill issues and due to the mental and physical pain it changes who they are from
What they were.
Who they were.
Whom they become.

I talk a lot about metamorphosis and how we are ever changing but when your loved one changes over the consequences of a mental or physical change in time you grieve the loss of that person. And in turn that changes you. And you got through the 5 stages of grieving in the same way.

Denial and Isolation
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Sometimes grieving doesn’t happen in these stages they can happen in whatever way they tend to travel with your situation.

The first time I truly grieved was after my dad’s massive stroke 26 years. It devastated me and I found myself lost with all the changes that was and we’re going to happen. Besides the family dynamic but my personal going from my goals to taking care of him. Redirecting my focus on life. I don’t think I ever found acceptance even 26 years later because I reflect from when, where, what and why life gives you but I definitely went through all the stages. Yet when my mom passed away I definitely grieved hard.

And through it all …
I cried and I ranted and bargained and I was very depressed. Everything bothered me and triggered a response. I was like a heavy cloud of sadness. I felt like Joe Btfsplk.

When my dad passed I went through a different kind of grieving because it was a different loss of just him after all the years of caregiving for him at the baseline where we came from.

I grieve for Eric, he’s not the same person I met and it's been a fluctuating with the ups and down in the past 4 years and we had some good and bad moments but it’s relative to how he has progressively worsened over the years and how it’s affected his mentality and physicality. Where the dynamics of our partnership has changed.
But climbing a hill and challenging yourself and not giving up is part of life.
I’ve been doing it for so long it’s the most natural process for me.

I get what my mom meant when she reached the same age as when her mom passed away. I’m sure as I get older I will think more about that.

I will always be grieving because changes affect me more as I get older. But as I age I realize I change as who I am and how I learn from all of this.

Grieving isn’t sinple. It’s a form of life we embrace and it’s okay if you grieve.
There’s no shame.
There’s no wrong in it.
As Shrylock said
““If you prick us, do we not bleed?”

Yes, that’s because we are Human.

#grief #griefsupport #griefjourney #griefandloss #griefawarenessday #griefawareness #caregiving #metamorphosis

/90th birthday

mai_ling — Mon, 08 Jul 2024 15:48:21 GMT

I hadn’t talked about this an except a small mention in my 29th post. My Aunt Susie passed away January 29th and today would have been her 90th birthday. It was shock, but when someone’s health is declining over time you know it’s eventually going to happen. And even when it does it’s still hard. Aunt Susie was more than just a family member. Her and my mom were very close, as all the Brody’s sibs were. She was also a second mom and grandma to Lilly after my mom passed. Before my parents met, she and Ralph knew my dad already so when they met it was like he was already family. She and Ralph stood up at their wedding in chapel in the sky. And when my mom had me she said “I better be as cute as Cathy when I’m born.” I was. Of course I was! Of course she said the same when Lilly was born and of course she was! 😂 I was always very close to my moms side of the family growing up. Every Saturday we got together at the house in HE or off of Victoria. She loved her coffee and her Portillo hot dogs. Made the brown family brownie recipe. Her celebration was in February and seeing my cousins from TN was such a wonderful surprise. It’s always good be around family. We all cope differently and grieve differently. But this was great, it was definitely old friends and family. Just as it should and at the tennis club. And as always we shared laughs and stories and all the wonderful memories we have. Every year I would call her on her birthday and we’d talk. She’d call me on mine. It’s hard to think about it all the little things that made our family a family. And we all text and keep in touch and it’s like our connection is stronger than ever even though we are spread out across the country. Happy Heavenly Birthday Aunt Susie! Love and miss you. ♥️

/29

mai_ling — Sat, 29 Jun 2024 18:52:22 GMT

I thought I’d explain the June 29th.
Since I never really have.

Every year for about 15 years now I write
tomorrow is June 29th and today is June 29th.

The number 29 seems to be a significant number in our lives. Let’s put the dates out in chronological order starting with :

October 29, 1940
June 29, 1994
July 29, 1998
May 29, 2009
January 29, 2024
And we will include July 29, 2012
But we can circle back to the last one.

You’re reading this like WTAF FRANCES.

It’s a combination of specific dates.
Starting with my moms birthday 84 years ago, Eric’s grandfather’s death day 30 years ago, the day my dad had his massive stroke and rebirth 26 years ago, the day my mom passed away 15 years ago, the date in which my aunt passed away 6 months ago and the last one is the day Lilly was supposed to be born.

Is it blessing or a curse? Numerological?
Lucky? IDK, but it’s definitely a number that
Seems to circle around and if you know me,
I’m very superstitious.
It’s the Chinese side of me.
What can I do - nothing really.
Just embrace the 29th.

I mean on Wednesday at the tournament
The ticket number given to me from the
food truck was #29

It’s definitely mystical and magical.

#29

/15 years

mai_ling — Wed, 29 May 2024 22:47:03 GMT

Today marks 15 years since my mom passed away.
I think my grieving phase started before Mother’s Day this year because I realized it was my last Mother’s Day I ever celebrated with her at home before going into the hospital.

I miss her like crazy and that’s probably an understatement. Because anyone that knew my mom knew how close we were and losing her was the hardest thing ever for me.

She was the rock in our family that held everything together. Especially after my dad’s massive stroke. And everything she did put the family first and did the best she could under the circumstances. Even when things were difficult mentally and physically for her she never allowed us to see it.

Even when she was sick she didn’t allow the world to stop and always made sure everything was in order and taken care of.

Losing mom was hard.
To have one last time to be with her during my most difficult moments, hearing her cheer me on, support me when I needed and just be mom.

However I have learnt to be that support system to my family. No matter how hard I’ve hit rock bottom in my emotional stability. I try to brush it off as a bad day but sometimes there’s more bad days and good days and sometimes there are even better days than anything else.

I abide by the quote from Anne of Green Gables
“I start the day with no mistakes in it”

Any mistake i make I look at a lesson learned.

#missingmom
#15years

/age is relative

mai_ling — Tue, 05 Sep 2023 23:03:53 GMT

Saturday night these 3 girls around 25 came in and wanted a bottle of expensive tequila. Patron mainly but when I said we have others in a locked cabinet they went oooooo. So I showed them and they saw the Don Julio. And I asked “celebrating?” And the one girl said her husbands birthday. And I said turning 21? And they gasped “do we look that old?” And I rolled my eyes and laughed. Age is relative. I’m a couple of years to 50. And then they GASPED again. And said “girl no way cuz you got no wrinkles… you gotta drop your skin care routine right now?” And I said I really don’t have one. It’s cuz I’m half Chinese-eee.” 😂and we all laughed.

Yes age is definitely relative.
We just roll with it.
#ageisrelative

/25 years

mai_ling — Sat, 29 Jul 2023 15:23:27 GMT

25 years ago today at 10:30a
Was the day my life changed forever.
I’m a better person for it.

However the struggles have mentally
Damaged me through my life.

As I grew up (and still growing) the
Changes and struggles from then on
Affected my everyday life in some way.

I’m realizing high functioning mental illness
Is exhausting and isolating and you develop
It through time and through environmental
Factors not because of chemical imbalances
Or hereditary factors.

Situational depression is real.

But I’ve working on my mental health for
The last 3 years and i am not going to hide it.
How so many things have troubled me.
And where it began and where it’s led me.

You don’t have to be diagnosed to know you have
It - you just need to accept that you do.

It’s fine, there’s no shame.

Because if we find we are shameful,
Then we Will never heal.
And healing is a journey in itself
And within yourself.

“Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

On the flip side 11 more days until Watermelon Day.

Happy Mother’s Day

mai_ling — Sun, 14 May 2023 19:06:23 GMT

Thank you Lilly for making me a mom. I can’t believe 11 years ago we announced we were expecting you and now your growing up into a fine little human. Best gift in the world not just for Mother’s Day but everyday. You make the world a better and fun place. You make me a better person. You’ll always be our baby no matter what age you are. Keeping with traditions. Hope you like your Mother’s Day gifts and red envelope from us. All I need from you is that you be the best little human in the world. You are the constant force that keeps the legacy going of all the past and into the future.

Love you from the moon and back,
Mom

#mothersday2023

/the downfall

mai_ling — Thu, 24 Nov 2022 19:49:26 GMT

Video games are going to kill the movie industry .

/Goodnight Grandma

mai_ling — Mon, 19 Sep 2022 20:02:02 GMT

Love and Legacy has no boundaries.

Like tree rings expanding, we learn about our past and carry on through our children, grandchildren and greatchildren

Losing a loved one who has been the center of your life since you were born is a tough reality to handle.

Blood is always thicker than water but even water can be thickened with some love and makes you blood.

That’s how Grandma Arlene made you feel.

Arlene was a friend, daughter, sister, wife (3x), sister in law, aunt, mother, grandmother and great grandmother.
She was a cookbook author and an artist. A Girl Scout, traveler, adventurer, who loved being by the water.

The first time I met her was on September 20th and if you wonder how I remember it’s because it was my wedding day.
I know it probably seems like the strangest and most unideal way to meet a family member that meant the world to your partner. However there was so much that happened between and in the time of our wedding I never really had a chance to meet her and Bert prior to that.

It was a reunion of sorts for Eric and Arlene but a joyful one. And thus began a fruitful relationship that one can describe as loving, nurturing and special. For any family who knew both within and outside, said that Eric had a special bond with her. And I can tell right away. Arlene loved traveling and she and Eric went on many trips together. Her favorite place was always by water. Sharing that love with Brad and Eric was her happy place.

I never had any grandparent growing up. They were all deceased before I was born except my Grandma Chin in Hong Kong. So having someone like Arlene allowed me know and understand what having a grandparent was like.

Arlene treated me as an equal as her own granddaughter and she loved me as her own granddaughter. And she made sure I knew that. She called me her grandchild and always said love you. I remember just after our wedding she called Eric and she told him how much she and Bert loved me and how I was a wonderful addition to the family. And despite just knowing me for the afternoon, she sensed that I was special and special enough to be with her only grandson.

Overtime I became closer to her and would visit often with and without Eric. Especially when I had concerts in the area. I was visiting with her probably a dozen times from Christmas until her birthday. And during one month she saw me once a week or sometimes twice. And when I would leave she made me a to go lunch and whenever I said you didn’t have to do that she said “That’s what grandma’s do.” With a smile. And it always brought tears to me because that’s truly who she was.

Her best birthday present ever was the year her great granddaughter Lilly was born. We purposely didn’t tell her that we were going to the hospital on her birthday so we can have her. She felt it awfully odd that we didn’t wis she a happy birthday. Bert knew but she wasn’t aware and he didn’t say anything. She was worried. But when she was born Eric called her and said “Happy Birthday, Lilly officially came to the world and is your present.” And she was so excited because she was able to share a special day with her since their birthdays were back to back. And every year they would celebrate their days together for 10 years.

Over the years after my father passed we would help her out a lot and when she was in need of care we would be there for her and Bert. We spend a lot of nights caring for them both. Even with the pandemic being difficult we all tried our best.

In the past year, we knew our time was going to be limited and even with the global chaos we all did what we could. I wanted to make sure I could capture special photos of her with emotions that can tell a story without it having to be said in words.

When Arlene went into the hospital in April we came to visit her that night just to see her even if it was only for 10 mins. It was like we just needed to be there. She woke up and saw Eric in the doorway and she hi to him. And the next morning she called to ask if we spent the night at the house and she thought she had a dream we were there and I said no we were there. It meant so much that we came down. When we came to visit a couple of days later, she asked Eric to sit next to her and hold her hand. I gave them two hours alone with her as they talked and shared memories they both brought up and forgot about and had laughter. Whatever it was, that calmed her down and gave her peace and love.

We later learned that the antique prize winning double peonies we own are actually from Eric’s great great grandfather’s nursery. When I told her the story that was published and mentioned the name Julius Van Steen her eye lit up. And she started to tell me the story. I told her when they are perfect bloom I would bring some down, despite not being a fan of cut flowers. But these were special family flowers that connected the history of our house to her family. And I drove down one day just to deliver them to her in a special case. And I remember saying to me. “Did you have a lecture today?” And I said “nope I’m off I just drove down just bring you things so you can enjoy them.” She was so happy that I was thoughtful enough to take the time out for a short visit with a long drive. But in my eyes, it was worth it and to share something that was so special that we had, that the Cary house also had.

My last visit with her was in hospice and I held her hand and we talked and the first person she asked for was Eric. Although he wasn’t with me, Before I left I told her, all I want for my birthday is to talk to you on the phone. And so I called her and said it’s good to hear your voice and then said I love you.

Arlene lead a fruitful life. She had three husbands: Buck, Bert and Carl. Two boys : Brad and Todd. Two grandchildren : Eric and Nicole and Three Great Grandchildren : Liea, Rowan and Lilly. When Brad had his children they lived at the Cary house. Eric and Nicole grew up with the memories of that house and all the amazing things that their grandfather and Bruce built. And through the years, Arlene’s greatest gift was being a grandmother. And she raised them as her own. When Leia, Rowan and Lilly was born, being a great grandmother was another gift. She always said to me, she is so lucky to be a great grandmother and what it meant to see them grow up. She requested monthly of not twice a month visits with Lilly to see her grow up and bond with her. And it took a while and when they clicked it was like the perfect bond, much like with Eric. They would water plants together, have tea parties and watch movies. She loved the sound of a baby in the house.

In the past year she began to give Lilly some of her clothes as she said “I’m shrinking and Lilly is growing.” Lilly loved wearing her clothes, especially those Birkenstock’s.

And everything she shared with her from cards, artwork and jewelry. It is a meaningful way for her to always remember how special Arlene was.

And I cherish every moment of the 13 years I had with her because those are the memories I can continue to remind Lilly of who she is as she gets older and asks questions.

Because at the end of the day, Arlene’s legacy will live on with Leia, Rowan and Lilly. And all the stories and memories and special things that she kept as momentos for them are for us as parents to share with them. So we can continue her legacy so that when they have children of their own, they share it with them.

Arlene’s life was a like a tree ring. She was our center and as she loved her life. She became larger than itself. And she was a little lady with a big heart and a lot of love and she was always fair with all her friends and loved ones.
… with very soft hands (I’ll say).

I’m creating her memorial poster, as she requested, I wanted to use the inspiration of the tree rings. Her final masterpiece of everything past, present and future of her life. The beautiful dresser where she would wake everyone morning see Lilly on the bath salts and the photo of her and Eric taken the day after her 85th last year. With her in the center. The past with her family and husbands, the present everyone whom she loved and was loved in return and her future, the grandchildren and great grandchildren. And at the bottom right, she signed her last masterpiece of everything she touched.

As we said goodbye to her over the weekend, we will all carry a piece of her in our heart and no matter what time of year, memory holds for itself, she will always be with us.

I am sure she is at the ocean, wading in the water and looking for shells.

I can hear her say, even now
“I feel your presence.”

/you may now pee

mai_ling — Wed, 14 Sep 2022 12:08:10 GMT

Fuck you Aye Jaye.
I know the circle is ceasing to exist but this hurts. You know how much dad loved you like a little brother and how I looked up to you as Ronald and Bumble Bee. Your carney knowledge will forever live on with the likely of unlikely fuckers of the world who loved you so much. I’m sorry Hamburgler for your loss, he was dearly loved.

Long live Ronald McDonald…
You may now pee.
💔

/Leveling Up 2022

mai_ling — Tue, 16 Aug 2022 12:22:27 GMT

Thank you to everyone for the Celebrate! Watermelon Day and birthday wishes, the posts, text messages and FB/LinkedIn/Twitterverse/Go Wild/Snapchat messages and cards were heartfelt last Wednesday.
I officially Leveled Up!!

Leveling up and surviving this world is my mantra this year…

I apologize for being so late in responding to everyone but as you probably can tell I was getting ready for a busy weekend away. So it was an extremely chaotic week leading up to departing Friday afternoon. Between concerts and work, family emergencies, Doctor specialists appointments, med refills and filing paperwork…it was a bit stressful. So preparing to be away a weekend was a lot prep. But I work backwards. And the way I did it was worth it. The week includes visits with Eric’s gma, calls from and to her (especially on my birthday), kidn@p breakfast with our GS troop to iHOP, SuperDawg (plus a Austin Healy show), then leaving for Oregon for Horseback riding weekend. What a blast for everyone. There was something to do every hour. Including horsemanship and grooming class, fossil hunting (and I found a fossil), line dancing, canyon hiking in the Forrest of Endor (No yub dub appeared 😭), orienteering, graveyard study, wilderness survival. We also did a hayride, corn maze and cemetery hike at night plus a bonfire and two horse trails. My horse’s name was Indy and he was huge and I think I was the tallest. Stubborn too. I really wanted to ride a white horse. But the one they had was for a kid so I gave her to Lilly. Her name was Daisy and was so sweet and she loved her horse. There was this unexplainable look of peace on her face when she was riding.

The best part of the weekend was befriending a Donkey named Chubbs ❤️…. He was such a cutie.

The two hour drive to and from Oregon was a beautiful stretch along the rock river and the peacefulness and lack of cell phone service was quite enjoyable. I am happy to report we all survived and none of got disentery. 😂

We finish off birthday week with lunch after meet the teacher and then tomorrow Eric levels up and Lilly begins 5th grade!!!

#birthdayweek2022

/Celebrate! Watermelon Day!

mai_ling — Tue, 09 Aug 2022 22:50:59 GMT

Today is the 47th Celebrate! Watermelon Day!
So eat watermelon and celebrate. Happy Tuesday!
#watermelonday #WarermelonDay2022
🍉 🍉 🍉 🍉 🍉 🍉 🍉 🍉 🍉 🍉 🍉 🍉

/tree frog

mai_ling — Sun, 07 Aug 2022 21:23:26 GMT

We have had a tree frog visit us the last two nights.
I haven’t see a tree front in few years.
He’s such a poser…
And also 2 more days until Celebrate! Watermelon Day!

#celebratewatermelonday

/Bowie

mai_ling — Sun, 07 Aug 2022 15:40:05 GMT

Love the Bowie find from the Rummage sale on Friday. I can’t believe I can fit into a Medium top
now. Well it depends on the cut but a year ago
I couldn’t say that…
Also 3 more days until Celebrate! Watermelon Day!

#davidbowie #celebratewatermelonday

Level up to a double digit

mai_ling — Sun, 24 Jul 2022 14:47:36 GMT

It’s a official shes leveled up to a double digit…

Greatest Gift

mai_ling — Sat, 23 Jul 2022 20:44:54 GMT

I still remember entering the hospital 10 years ago yesterday … her great grandmother’s greatest birthday gift was the birth of Lilly On-Ling the today and forever making them connected in the most special way. Celebrating their birthday together every year.

/SelfieSaturday | 07162022

mai_ling — Sun, 17 Jul 2022 13:37:08 GMT

I’ve been writing a lot since Thursday night working on the script on my new magic music comedy lecture for Tuesday night. I’m not even nearly half way done.
I am my own worst enemy.
I am a procrastinating creative.

Happy Heavenly 50th

mai_ling — Fri, 29 Apr 2022 01:37:45 GMT

Happy heavenly 50th anniversary to my parents.
Dad would call Uncle Jay Marshall every year to tell him “we’re still married” and every time Uncle Jay saw Chapel in the Sky he would call us … only a couple of people are still with us who were at the ceremony and at Mayor’s Row at the Drake with the Roundtable. To be there would be any magician’s dream come true.

Also a happy anniversary to Mary Shufelt & Brad Shufelt who also share this happy day too.

#50years

/hotheaded

mai_ling — Mon, 24 Jan 2022 05:08:00 GMT

This is me and hair story
It’s been an interesting process since before New Years.
To achieve the Firey phoenix sunset.
Started with wella charm’s mai tai, sunkissed and strawberry. The reds, oranges and yellow. Eventually I had to buy blood orange and then I added the purple and Firey pink I mixed

I’m happy with it now it’s been an interesting process until my next planned hair color for March.

Shadow

mai_ling — Mon, 17 Jan 2022 05:43:36 GMT

Goodnight Aunt Betty, Love you.

mai_ling — Fri, 07 Jan 2022 16:11:59 GMT

Last Friday we celebrated what would have been my dad's 96th birthday. We had a wonderful time out as a family, went out for dinner, used our last free hotel night for the year and went swimming in the most chlorinated pool ever (like really horrible). Then I got the news that my Aunt Betty had passed. Not Betty White...

So we celebrated two wonderful people who happened to have been friends for over 60 years.

Betty knew me all my life, like literally. Just like her own children : Marcia, Gerogie and Jennie.
Even though she was not my blood relative she was still and always my Aunt. She was at my parents wedding shower, wedding, my baby shower and of course the baby inspection party.

Not many people, if any, are still around from the old days of magic. In fact Betty is the last living face from the Chicago Magic Roundtable. And what a beautiful face she had. And why Harry Blackstone, Sr made her one of his 50 most Beautiful Girls.

My history with the Johnstone's (or Johnston's who may not be aware, changed to Johnstone because of their time with Blackstone - it's the "stone") is one of the best magic history tales ever, and to be honest. . . Blackstone would have loved how their friendship lasted through all those years never losing touch.

My dad was 15 when he was picked up as a valet and assistant after being the world's worst busboy ever. He needed someone and my dad was intrigued by the silver haired man that he went on the road as soon as he was hired. Thus starting his career in the magical land of show business. When he first came on the troupe he became closest friends with George and Betty. George and Betty met on the show and married Blackstone at their wedding. They were his main assistants. My dad used to say Uncle George used to play tricks on my dad like lighting his shoe with matches and Betty always defended my dad by telling George to leave him alone, "he's just a kid." The 3 of them were very much like a sibling pack. Always together. And the story about the full day event of fighting between my dad and George (as written in the TOPS magazine) that day in Topeka, KS is absolutely true. If George did not knock his little yellow ass into the LBC, the secret he carried with him for 30 years to rebuild it would never have happened.

Although my dad only stayed with Blackstone for 1 season before working with Dante for the next 3. The friendship through George and Betty was one of the strongest (much like my dad with Marion Triakosko from Dante). These bonds were the strongest at best. There aren't too many successful magicians who were assistants to some of the greats but these pair of comedians were one of the very few.

When they both landed back in Chicago after WWII, both of them began the first Magic Comedy Duo, think of a 50's version of Penn & Teller. Just call them Johnstone & O'Rouke (my dad of course). They did club dates, tv appearances, infomercials. They did it all and then eventually went off on their own.

Betty, like my mom's assistant George. They traveled all over. Worked with the elephants and big names. Once domestic life settled in, Betty didn't hit the road for a lot of the shows. A lot of people were not aware that Betty didn't have much interest in magic life. One reason you never saw her at magic conventions or collector's events. The many times when we would work with George he was by himself - either in Chicago or out of state. Whenever guests arrived at the house for dinner, her amazing food and hosting skills were top notch. Her children were very much important especially after the loss of Georgie (an Egyptologist at 16) who lost his life to Cystic Fibrosis. If you ever went to the Mather High School magic shows, they always raised money for research. Georgie is also buried in the same cemetery just a few feet away from my Grandmother Frances and we would always visit him when we were down there.

Betty was the kindest soul and I remember how meaningful their friendship to my parents was. I remember when they picked up Uncle Jay to have them visit my dad in the hospital after his massive stroke and we ate Chinese Food together. It reminded me of our Christmas Parties hosted by Magic, Inc. There was Polish Food and Chinese Food ... and always a joke on me. Before they moved to Minnesota we were driving down more often to visit and help out because George was getting more difficult and having dad around helped him. Spending a couple of weeks helping Marcia organize the house and find treasures to bring to their new home before it went up on the market. We have the wonderful Chinese Lantern that was passed to magicians in our yard. We are the 4th owners. It's not small, it's one heavy son of a bitch too!

The house itself was always so much fun to be at, with their dog Scruffy who played the most perfect dead dog. And magic library that everyone ohhh and aweeed at. Although in 20-20 hindsight Betty was never that fond of the house. George's writing room where he would work on his artwork write his columns as Geroge and sometimes Jennie.

Aunt Betty always had the best sense of humor and nothing stopped her. She definitely had no filter why she and my mom could talk for hours. I remember the one night we came over and I went with her (Betty driving) to get Chinese food. Learning later she wasn't supposed to be driving at all. I remember her talking about growing up in Wisconsin and how she was related to Johnny Weismuller, the original Tarzan actor. I remember the day I called her to let her know about mom not doing well and she talked to her on the phone before she was induced into a coma. And my calls to her so she can talk to dad every few weeks just to keep the communication between them. When Betty moved from her condo to assisted living I lost contact. Sometime after the 2013 Vulture's gathering I started to search for her daughter Jennie and with the help of Larry Lahlow, I was able to reconnect with her via Facebook. I am so thankful for that and being re-connected. We have shared so much over the years and been able to connect some pretty items that were landed back to the family too. I was very honored to put together the 95th birthday video for her and how her friends celebrated her.

This wonderful lady was celebrated by her family and close friends on a daily basis. She celebrated 100 years and saw so much of the world but she also gave so much to those that meant the world to her. Through love and loss. She is at peace and with her true love, her son, daughter, grandson and all her best of friends. Her sense of humor never ceased to be amazing. She could have had a career as a stand up comic...and if there is anything I will miss is the daily one liner her daughter Jennie would write. I can hear her voice say them but most importantly, I can hear her laugh especially as I write this tribute to her.

Goodnight Aunt Betty, Love you.

The Storm is Coming

mai_ling — Fri, 31 Dec 2021 19:19:48 GMT