After my six-month experience in Colombia I wrote a guide that serves as a blueprint for getting with Colombian women, whether during the day, night, or on the internet. I also share a lot of tips on specific places to meet girls in Medellin, Bogota, and Cali. If you’re curious about Colombian women or Latinas in general, I think you’ll like this book.

For a short time you can download the ebook for free. Visit the Bang Colombia Guide website to grab your copy now.

I bought Bang a couple of months ago and have enjoyed reading it. I’ve also been reading/listening to Carlos Xuma’s “Secrets of the Alpha Man” program. He stresses that men should not touch a woman or try to sleep with her too soon, as this conveys neediness and impatience. In fact he states that a woman will usually get close and let the man know when she’s ready to physically escalate (whether that be touching or having sex).

From my understanding, your view is that a man should always get touchy/feely on the first date and go for the lay sooner rather than later.

I’m quite inexperienced when it comes to women, and am wondering what to do with these 2 conflicting points of view. What are your thoughts on this?

My Answer:

Great question.

The truth is both are correct. Remember that there are many to skin a cat.

When you want to screen a girl for her easiness, it’s best to touch her early and often. If she accepts your advances you know that this girl is probably horny and wants to fuck.

When you want to get a girl chasing you, then it’s best not to touch much. Let her work for it.

You can get laid using both methods, but the first method is for beginners who don’t have tight enough game to get girls to chase them yet. Basically you’re just trying to turn the girl on by touching. The second method is more advanced when your shit is together and no longer have to work as hard. I have moved more towards the second method, but when I know a girl is trying to fuck, I touch often.

Flirting and building attraction is crucial when it comes to helping the girl decide that she wants to sleep with you. Before I knew how attraction really worked, I'd approach a girl and talk about boring topics such as work or her favorite movies, and then she would politely excuse herself from the conversation only a couple minutes into it. But now I know better. When you talk about more interesting topics, she sees you as more interesting. Obvious, right? With a couple additional techniques, the "interesting" is turned into strong attraction.

Once attraction is built you can get her number and take her on a date or go for the one night stand (my preferred method). I teach you how to do all this in my book Bang, which details my complete banging system with step-by-step strategies such as The Four Key Moves To Intimacy (for when you want to kiss her) and my bedroom technique for sealing the deal. And of course my book tells you how to keep a fun conversation going, whether you just met her or are on a date.

If you had a system for building strong attraction with random girls you meet, would you get laid more than you are now? If you answered yes, then click here to learn more about Bang today.

I’m doing good in initial approaches and picking up girls on one night stands. However seeing these girls again isn’t going too well. I have thought about the fact they might be getting buyers remorse because a few occasions have been drunken sex at a party. We have fun but I doubt the adequate comfort level of say 7 hours that Mystery talks about is reached.

Also little conversation is had, it’s mostly just both of our hormones in action. Some of these girls I have tried to turn into fuck buddies but it hasn’t gone according to plan. I normally send a text 2-3 days later saying whatsup girly or you were a playful girl sat night. They text back saying “hey! how are you blah blah.” I say, “good you etc etc wanna hang out tonight?” They say sorry I have work or some shit. Should I be calling even though they don’t have my number, might get freaked out that I’m calling. What are your thoughts here?

On that note what are some good initial text messages to send to a girl and then follow up texts?

Also what are your thoughts on drinking when you go out? I still feel a little uncomfortable in a club sober but feel that approaching this way will only tighten up my game.

How much does a players living quarters affect things? I currently live with a hot 20 year old girl who has a b/f. We have never hooked up although I kinda only see her as a friend. Sometimes it has felt weird bringing a girl back as I know she can hear us. Would be cool to live with some guys and bring back a few girls together. There might be a 20 year old guy moving in which would be cool. What are your thoughts on living arrangements in general?

Last last question, thinking about joining a fraternity next year. It will cost a little bit of money but I am working this summer. Friends in there say they are banging hotties l, r and centre. Then might move into the frat house. What do ya reckon on this (might be a stupid question)?

My Reply:

I don’t think it has anything to do with it being a one night stand because I’ve dated many girls in that way (banging in much less time than 7 hours). The big problem is your attempt to move them into fuck buddy status immediately. A girl will be a slut for a night but she won’t knowingly be the fuck buddy after just one sex episode.

“Wanna hang tonight?”

It doesn’t work like that. You have to try and date them normally by giving at least one days notice, preferably two. We know she’s a slut but don’t treat her like one while she’s sober. As for texting game, keep it very simple and logistical in nature. No jokes, no stories, no flirting. Just “Hey what’s up, are you free on so and so?”

I drink when I go out, usually capping it at 3 drinks (after that my game declines). If I’m in a social setting where 95% of people are drinking, it’d be more unnatural not to drink.

Living quarters definitely affects things but as I made it work when I lived with my dad (even bringing girls there), it doesn’t hurt as much as most people think. If I had my pick, I’d live with one other friend very close to a nightlife area. This would drastically increase the amount of one night stands I get. “Hey you want to have a drink at my place… I live four blocks away.” That has a lot more sway then if you live over a half-hour away.

If you can join a frat, do it. It’s probably the best thing you can do to banging a lot of chicks in college.

The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. I remember the time when I personally couldn't even have conversations with pretty girls. I would just stare at them and do nothing, hoping that by some miracle of God they would come talk to me first. But they never did.

My problem was part lack of confidence, part fear, and part inexperience. Yet once I decided to take control of the problem, I sucked it up and started approaching girls everywhere like a maniac. That's how I learned by trial and error and came up with an effective system to go from approach to bang, which I describe in my book Bang.

In Bang I teach you everything I learned about girls with a strong focus on approaching and having interesting conversation that creates attraction. Then step by step I tell you how to call the girl, take her out on dates, and then finally seal the deal. With my system I'm confident you will eventually meet and bang the one girl that you want for the long-term. Click here to learn more about Bang today.

First, if you’re getting vibes from other girls, get your girl drunk so she’s oblivious to your moves.

Next, wait until your girl goes to the bathroom then approach the girl. Due to the time limitation we’re going direct.

“Hey I think you’re kind of cute. Do you like hairy men with beards?

Change “hairy men with beads” to a physical quality that you possess. Include a self-depreciative quality to tap her funny bone.

If you get a yes or maybe say, “Well I got some good news!”

Continue with, “Look so tonight I’m hanging out with my friend and she’s nice and all but she’s just a friend. I don’t have time to get to know you right now but do you want to grab a drink some time and talk? If after one drink we don’t get along then I’ll make an excuse about how my cat has a headache and then we go our separate ways.”

If she responds positively, say, “What’s your number?”

Sneak in a quick peck on the lips even though you act like you’re going to kiss her on the cheek. You must try to make some lip contact.

If your girl busts you say it’s an old college classmate and you didn’t want to be rude.

This doesn’t have a particular high success rate but it’s the best we can do given the situation. “Direct” openers tend to be less successful than not because you force the girl right then and there to decide if she likes you. In most cases I recommend you use “indirect” game where you don’t show your cards right away.

After trying dozens and dozens of different indirect openers, I finally settled on two that are my “defaults,” meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn about my book Bang today.

Understand that every online dating site caters to a specific niche. Lavalife is for the young and hip, Match.com is for the mainstream crowd, eHarmony is for the religious, Craigslist is for the kinky, and so on. I guarantee that one site will be a lot more fruitful to you than others, so it’s important you get multiple profiles out there and measure which site gets the most responses. Otherwise you may be wasting your time on a site that doesn’t fit you best.

2. YOUR PHOTOS ARE THE KEY DETERMINANT TO HOW MANY DATES YOU GET

The pictures hold the key to whether a girl is going to read the rest of your profile. While women like to go off on a laundry list of qualities that include “sense of humor” and “kindness to animals,” they are almost as shallow as men when it comes to online dating. They sit back and watch the dozens of responses that come in and take their pick of the guys who look the best.

But how about if you’re not especially good looking? Then what you should do is upload photos that show one of the following qualities that women value:

Social proof. Upload pictures of you with other pretty women, which acts as a stamp of approval that you are accepted by the female race.

Adventurer. Share travel photos in exciting locations and in front of famous monuments. Other good photos are of you rock climbing, mountain biking, and bungee jumping.

Status. Here you want to upload photos of you with famous people or shots in the VIP section of fancy clubs, preferably in Las Vegas.

Don’t overdo it: only upload five photos maximum and keep the captions brief. You want the photos to act as bait so she asks questions about them.

3. LOG ON DAILY TO MESSAGE THE NEW GIRLS

You have to hit the sites every day to message new girls who aren’t already bitter and jaded dating experts. When a girl first signs up to a dating site she is optimistic and hopeful, giving chances to guys who she wouldn’t otherwise, so therefore you want to be one of her “firsts.” In the site’s dashboard organize women by how recently they signed up and message the new girls before any other.

4. HAVE A COCKY PROFILE

Girls want guys who are already getting girls, so the last thing you want to do is have a desperate vibe that reeks of no sex. When you’re writing your profile, here is the mindset that I want you to have:

“I’m already getting women, so this online dating thing isn’t important to me.”

Even if you aren’t getting women, you want to subconsciously broadcast that you already are, that you’re just experimenting and don’t take things too seriously. Therefore you need to come across as more cocky and aloof than other guys, as these things will be more powerful in attracting women.

These golden rules are all you need to know to get the ball rolling. Now it’s just a matter of making first contact. Experiment from sending smiley faces and simple hello’s to cocky messages like, “You seem like the type of girl who screens out guys all day waiting for Mr. Perfect.” Challenge them and when they respond get a conversation going. Ask them for a date after they start asking personal questions about you.

Honestly I never got deep into internet game. After college I was lucky to know a couple guys who were club rats and knew how to approach and game women in person. I started off copying their moves and lines and in the course of six years I developed a game on my own that consistently builds attraction (without having to go online).

I recorded my system into an affordable book that I call Bang. It has everything that I know about girls divided into five chapters of game: Internal, Early, Middle, Late, and End Game. I’ve always thought that meeting girls and getting to know them in the flesh is much better than copying and pasting messages on the internet.

I’m confident Bang is the only book you’ll ever need to read about sleeping with girls, and I completely back it up with a no-questions-asked money back guarantee. If you’ve ever spotted a girl you were attracted to and wondered how you could talk to her in a way that ends in sex, then Bang will help. Click here to read ten full-length sample pages of Bang today before grabbing your copy.

Let’s take a look at a couple of hypothetical examples to help us answer this question…

1. Say some girl is walking in the opposite direction of you on the sidewalk and locks eye contact, and maybe even smiles. Should you approach her?

2. How about if you’re sitting next to a girl on the subway and she looks around at other passengers instead of staying focused on her book. How about if she glances at the newspaper you are reading. Should you approach?

3. How about if the girl next to you at the coffee shop sighs deeply several times and stares off in space. Should you approach?

There is no clear line about when you should approach and when you shouldn’t, but there are opportunities which you should get mad at yourself for not taking action. For example, if a girl looks at you for more than one second, you should approach her no matter where you are, because it’s never an accident that someone makes eye contact with another person.

You should also approach girls who are looking around or seem bored, even if they don’t look at you. They want to be distracted with a conversation instead of doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

Therefore I say YES to the three cases above. You should approach. But how about the girls who don’t look at you and seem completely focused in their work?

Well, I know what happens when I approach these girls, but do you? While these are not high-success approaches, I think you owe it to yourself to try them out a few times and see what you can learn. The experience I got from approaching so many girls has helped me be able to tell when a girl is open to being talked to or not.

But keep in mind that her approachability is only one factor in deciding if you should approach. If there is a girl that is especially attractive and close to my ideal type, I’m going to talk to her whether she knows I exist or not.

Still, we’re not perfect, and there will be times when there is a girl you should have approached but didn’t. Maybe you were in a bad mood, or maybe you still worry about spectators listening in on your game. The result is that girl is gone, probably forever, and you learned nothing about how to get with her. You may feel guilty in the process. The next best thing you can do is replay the event in your head and imagine what you could have done differently.

How would you have opened her? How would the first minute of the conversation have been like?

Then if you are presented with a similar opportunity again, you simply have to repeat your mental performance for real life. Just do what you’ve already rehearsed. One reason I’m good at approaching because my mind has done it thousands of times, even when I wasn’t actually doing it.

Different approach situations can be very similar, especially if you have a general routine of places you frequent and hang out at. Mentally rehearsing approaches better prepares you for an episode that will happen again.

Feeling regret or inadequate is good because it will spur you to action. That’s how I got into the game, when I had a lot of bottled-up shame for not being able to get laid regularly. After starting from zero I became a man obsessed. I read the psychology books, did the approaches, and learned from alpha males in the field who already had a piece of skill that I wanted. I kept going for six years until I could cross out girls from my list of problems in life.

But it won’t take you six years.

In my book Bang I share with you the best strategies and techniques that took me forever to learn. If you study Bang I’m confident your learning curve will be a lot shorter than mine. I’m not saying it won’t take time and practice, but I am saying you’ll be surprised how fast your skill increases after applying my system. If you’re ready to give Bang a try, click here to order today. If you don’t like it then simply email me to get your money back no-questions-asked.

What the f*&%?!

And she said it with such disdain. It put me on the spot and I didn’t have a good comeback. I said, “No hablo ingles,” a terribly weak response. I just wasn’t prepared.

Even thinking about it now, there isn’t an obvious correct move. If I say yes then I show my cards right away, but if I say no then I set myself up for, “So why are you looking at her? Why are you talking to her? It’s obvious you like her.”

This cockblock was so effective that I had a dream about it. I woke up and decided to harness its power and adapt it for use on other guys. Now if a guy is moving in on a girl I’m interested in, and I feel that I’m losing power, I can ask him in front of her, “Do you like her?”

If he says yes then I can put him in a bad position by saying, “Well you should buy her a drink then!” If he buys her a drink then he’s just another beta male in the bar and if he doesn’t then it looks awkward because he just verbally admitted his affection for her.

If he says he doesn’t like her or weasels out of answering I’ll say, “Well there are a lot of girls here. I’m sure you will find someone who you like if you keep trying. Don’t give up!” He’s done. It’s like I’m giving him relationship advice in front of the girl.

He is going to scramble and say, “Oh, um, I’m not here to pick up girls.” Now he just put his dick in a box. Without even raising your voice or having to get tough, you can suck the game out of any guy with very simple verbal ninja. Hell, this technique worked on me even though I spend the bulk of my time thinking about these things.

It’s okay to get bitched in the field. But it’s not okay to get bitched in the same way twice. A great thing about experience is that you put yourself in a lot of situations that you’ll see more than once. Use your down time to think about how to better react for the next time.

That’s all it means to have “tight” game—to be ready for whatever is thrown at you. It’s about refining and improving what you do until it’s mastered.

So I thought about what to say the next time a fat girl asks me if I like her friend. I’ll say, “Why do you ask, do you want me to like her? Because I like everyone!” Then I’ll put my arms around both girls and say how I’m having a great time. All this is done with a huge smile on my face. I want to squash her negativity with a fun party vibe that makes her look really bad if she continues cockblocking.

I think this is much better than saying “I don’t speak English” in Spanish.

It’s only by THINKING, with the help of experience, that I figured out this easy method to put the brakes on other guys. It’s how I came up with a lot of tricks that have made getting laid easy.

Now I’m sure there’s a lot of guys who get laid more than me, but the problem is they’re unable to explain why they’re successful. These “naturals” will say something trivial like “Just be cool” or “Be funny” when you ask them how they always get girls. The reason is because they simply don’t know what they do correctly.

Well I’m not a natural. I’ve had to learn everything the hard way, and I’ve examined every little behavior and line and move to see if it works or not. After six years of experiencing and thinking about game, I captured all the techniques that actually work, that are explainable and reproducible for other average guys just like me, into a book called Bang.

If you find yourself in the spot where you’re not getting the girls you want, then I think the system I teach will make your life a lot less frustrating. With my book you will build the confidence and know-how to bang a girl quickly without having to wine and dine her in the hopes that she may open her legs. If you’re doubtful about how much my book can help you, then click here to learn about everything inside Bang.

You’re at a bar talking to some girl. The first question she asks you is “What do you do?” You reply, “I’m a world-class clay potter. I do exhibits here in D.C.” The girl looks at her friend and rolls her eyes. “What a loser, bragging about clay pots,” she thinks. The conversation dies down a couple minutes later.

You’re at a bar talking to some girl. The first question she asks you is “What do you do?” You reply, “You mean for money?”

“Uh yeah for money.”

“Well it’s complicated.”

“Complicated?”

“Yeah well I work with the Earth. I make things with mud and dirt. Then I sell my mud creations to discerning individuals.”

“Are you serious?” she asks.

“Yeah I love mud. I just have this thing for mud. I mean, who doesn’t?”

“I don’t,” she scoffs.

“Well that’s a shame. Thanks to mud, I’m able to come to bars like this and buy this beer. Cause of MUD.”

“You’re weird.”

Then she gives you a look, wondering if you’re serious or not. Three hours later you’re banging her on your bed. On her way out, she notices a picture of you handing a clay pot to the mayor of some small Eastern European town, a piece you sold him years ago. You call her a few days later and she agrees to go out with you, and you sleep with her again.

Logic dictates that you should directly state an accomplishment to a girl in hopes of bedding her, but as many guys know, this doesn’t work. If logic worked, guys would be wearing t-shirts with their yearly income and/or dick size (the latter for me), yet in reality they would be labeled a douche and laughed out the bar.

Be shady and dance around the answer instead. Purposefully not impressing a girl is the best way to impress her, since it shows you don’t care about her and that your value is higher than hers.

Let her find out things eventually on her own by accident (after some insinuation on your part) where the effect will be much more potent. Let her think: “Why didn’t he brag about this great accomplishment?” Let her come at you with a million personal questions instead of you laying it out there for her.

Before I studied the game no attractive girl would ask me questions about myself because I had no idea know how to convey my interesting qualities in a confident, non-needy manner. So the only girls who would hang out with me in college were ones who wanted to use my brain to help them study for exams. I was always the friend and never the guy that girls were sexually attracted to.

After college I decided to get this part of my life handled. I was lucky to have a couple friends who were club rats and knew how to approach and game women. I started off copying their moves and lines and in the course of six years I developed a system on my own that consistently builds attraction and results in phone numbers, make-outs, and bangs.

I no longer have to be friends with girls in the hopes that maybe one day she will want to have sex with me. I no longer hug my pillow at night wondering why I got shafted yet again. Now I meet a girl, game her, and wait for her to ask me questions that serves as a green light to take the interaction to the next level.

I recorded my system into an book that I call Bang. It has everything that I know about girls divided into five chapters of game: Internal, Early, Middle, Late, and End Game.

I’m confident it’s the only book you’ll ever need to read about banging girls, and I completely back it up with a no-questions-asked money back guarantee. If you’ve ever spotted a girl you were attracted to and wondered how you could talk to her in a way that ends in sex, then Bang is for you. Click here to read ten full-length sample pages of Bang today.

The idea for the contest started by accident in 2008, when a friend and I were talking about our conquests during the summer. We informally kept count after that and at the end of the year there was a clear winner. Quality was not accounted for.

For 2009 it became much more official. Every notch was put up on the leaderboard and without divulging too many details let me state that it definitely made the year more exciting. Someone was in the lead by three notches, another caught up, there was a back and forth for several months, many ties, text messages and email subject lines with “+1″ flying around, and then finally two notches in the final half of December to cement the contestants’ fates, giving birth to the phrase “clutch notch.”

Previously I had thought of the contest only as a male bonding exercise, but when reflecting on the year I realized something: I banged four girls that I wouldn’t otherwise—simply to not lose the contest. These girls were merely alright but they kept me in the game, so to speak.

You’d think sex and the pursuit of notches would be enough to push a man like myself to bang all that I could, but truth is after a while in the game you need something more as motivation. A simple contest, with no real stake, is what did it.

If you are not yet sure about how to approach, get numbers, and have girls agree to go on dates with you, then check out my book Bang. I explain all these topics in painful detail so that you can go right out and start applying the techniques without the huge learning curve I had to go through.

How would your sex life change if you could approach more, or get more numbers, or get flaked on less? If it would change for the better, then I think you’ll like my book. Click here to learn more about Bang today.

How about if you just came into the bar, still have your coat on, and see a girl you like. Should you approach or wait? How about if SHE just came in the bar and didn’t even get her first drink yet. Should you approach or wait? How about if she is on her way to the bathroom, holding hands with her girlfriend. Should you approach or wait?

I don’t have 100% correct answers to these types of situations, but I do know that there will ALWAYS be a better time to approach a girl. You can always be in a better mood, you can be more “on,” the environment could be quieter, or she could be standing alone simply looking around for any guy to talk to her.

The thing that’s more important than picking the right time to talk to a girl is simple TALKING TO THE GIRL.

If you sit there thinking about if you should talk to her, and then end up not even trying, then it didn’t really matter did it? There is the “best” time and then there is “opportunity.” If you see an opportunity with a girl who, for example, is going to the bathroom and you’re standing in her path, then you should open your mouth and say something because I bet you the best time to approach her will not happen before the night is out.

Besides, if there was a bar or club where the best situation always happened and girls were extremely approachable, it’d be filled with guys pretty quickly.

As long as you open your mouth and say something, you’re halfway there. Okay maybe not halfway but approaching really is the hardest part of the game, and the more you THINK about approaching, the less you’ll DO it.

The truth is that most guys have never approached a girl in their life.

Imagine that for a second. (If you’re one of those guys then you don’t have to imagine.)

They have never walked up to a girl they liked and talked to her. So the only girls they meet are from friends or the mediocre girls that approach them first.

And even when they meet girls, they have no idea how to build attraction and take things to the next level. If the girl does it for them, then great, but if not then back to PornHub (a site I’m not bashing, but just saying).

That was me, and I got tired of watching a small percentage of guys get most of the women while I begged for scraps. I put myself on a mission to be THAT GUY, the one who you see in a bar and hate because he’s getting girls even though he has average looks and dresses like a bum with t-shirts his little sister bought for him years ago (true story).

After I became that guy, I wrote how to do it in Bang. But this is no easy fix because I’m not selling you snake oil or pig pheromones. You will not see a magic transformation in just one weekend. Instead it will take quite a bit of work on your part to get to the point where you can approach girls and take them home on the same night. Still, if you apply my teachings I think in two months time you will see a noticeable improvement.

All I can offer you is the knowledge to make it happen, and it’ll be up to you to practice it until you become “that guy” yourself. Click here to read full-length sample pages of Bang.