Pickem Dash Football

P-F25 NFL Postseason Score Updates

2026-01-25T17:00:00.003-06:00

2/8/25 Final Pick, Super Big Game:

If the Seahawks win by 5, then the P-F25 NFL Playoff Challenge win goes to Far Left Handed (GN).
If the Patriots win or lose by 4 or less, then the P-F25 NFL Playoff Challenge win goes to Shot Callers (RD).

1/25/26 Week 3, Conference Championship Updates:

Far Left Handed (GN) and Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK) move ahead of the grid and into the P1 and P2 spots.

1/17/26 Week 2, Divisional Playoff Updates:

1/13/26 Update:

One NFL postseason contest. One winner. Here's your first scoreboard after all Wild Card games have been played.

Wildcard Weekend, P-F25 Playoff Challenge Week 1 Shout-outs:

RD gets the Week 1 spreadsheet pick sniper award: 83% ATS (hit all but one). Sharp pickin'.
GN was the week’s worst picker with only the Texans correct. Note the self-awareness, maybe anticipating poor performance and betting the minimum on every game.
MN, possibly the only professional gambler among us, lost the most points after Green Bay let him down.

Interesting Observation:

The most points were wagered on Texans vs Steelers, which might indicate strong feelings about the Texans… or strong feelings about Aaron Rodgers. Or both. This is a safe space.
KS dropped 148 on New England and got paid.
KH dropped 144 on the Texans and also got paid.
NE and HOU meet in the next round 👀

P-F25 NCAA Postseason Score Updates

2026-01-19T21:30:00.001-06:00

1/19/26: NCAA Postseason Contest Update CFP Finals

Congrats A Northmen (AN)!!

1/10/26: NCAA Postseason Contest Update After CFP Semifinals

Here's the scoreboards for the CFP, with the first chart being the mega-chart showing the overall leader.

1/2/26: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update - FINAL DAY FOR BOWLS

The bowls wrap up today. I'll update this section as the games unfold, but this appears to be a 2 man race that will be won after the Arizona/SMU game at 7pm this evening.

~~Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK) has the point potential lead and will be a big Wildcat fan tonight.~~

Far Left Handed (GN) has the scoreboard lead and will be a big Mustang fan tonight. SMU Won.

However it turns out, winning the Bowl Pick'em Challenge is mostly for pride. The NCAA postseason win will go to a combined winner of all NCAA postseason contests.

A Northmen (AN) is our overall leader right now. See charts below.

Scoreboards are now up to date as of the close of the bowl portion of the contest.

New Year's Day: Overall Scoreboard Debut

Probably a lot of shakeup still to come in the CFP Contest scores, while the Bowl Challenge scores are solidifying. Here is a look at the first combined NCAA postseason contest leaderboard chart. Note, for the championship game, there will be a 10 point (max) pick using your bonus points, scaled to 10 for Shot Callers (RD) -- our NCAA regular season bonus point leader. Similar-ish to last year, those bonus points are yours to keep or wager. The scoreboard chart shows how many scaled points you have currently as the "CFP Championship" bar.

Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK) has had a strong run with the Bowl and CFP picks, but A Northmen's (AN) spiteful picks in the 2nd CFP round propelled her to a tie for the lead in the overall competition. Below is the NCAA Postseason Contest mega-chart and the results from today's CFP picks.

The Bowl Challenge portion of this contest ends tomorrow!

Most of our brackets are broken now, and a new CFP Contest card will be coming soon.

New Year's Eve: CFP Contest scoreboard update

Pick changes are highlighted in light orange. Miami's win was a bit of a bracket buster for many of us.

New Year's Eve: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update

Pure Random Cubed (CN) has the point potential lead

Far Left Handed (GN) has the scoreboard lead.

👀we still have a few scenarios that can play out, but the Arizona St game looks particularly important 👀

Most collective confidence points lost: 300, Vanderbilt, lost to Iowa, 100% of league picked Vandy.

Most collective confidence points won: 295, UTSA, beat FIU, every human picked UTSA.

Most collective confidence points wagered: 390, Utah over Nebraska.

12/30/25: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update

🚨🚨 New leader 🚨🚨

Pure Random Cubed (CN) STILL has the point potential lead!

Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK) NOW has the scoreboard lead.

12/29/25 9:26 PM: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update

No change in leaders, but I just realized how impressive Cuernos Largos' (CT) & Aint Nothin but an Aint's (KS) scores are considering they made late picks and forfeited their 35 point confidence pick. CT is firmly in the hunt.

12/28/25 1:37 AM: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update

Pure Random Cubed (CN) has the point potential lead.
Far Left Handed (GN) has the scoreboard lead.

12/27/25 6:28 PM: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update

Far Left Handed (GN) has the point potential lead.
Far Left Handed (GN) has the scoreboard lead.

12/24/25 3:08 PM: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update

Queenbspice (CC) has the point potential lead.
Far Left Handed (GN) has the scoreboard lead.

12/23/25 12:33 PM: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update

Just one game since the prior update.

12/21/25 5:22 PM: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update

🚨🚨N OTEABLE TO THIS UPDATE. Pure Random Cubed (CN) is leading in points and point potential! 🚨🚨

12/20/25 10:43 PM: CFP Contest scoreboard update

Four of you have perfect brackets! I'll send a new Excel-based playoff card next week.

12/20/25 5:58 PM: CFP Contest introduction & scoreboard update

Here is your first CFP Contest update. I'll use this post live blog style.

Quick Rules Refresher (Because they are different this year).

This year’s CFP contest is built to stay competitive longer. Here’s how it works:

You picked the entire CFP bracket up front.
Each round, you’ll get a chance to re-pick before games kick off.
Original picks score at full value.
Changed picks still count, but at a discounted value.
Miss early? Panic responsibly? Forget to pick? We got you.

Original Round values:

First Round: 2 pts
Quarterfinals: 4 pts
Semifinals: 6 pts
Championship: 8 pts

Three games in, and we could have really seen some brackets break, with the first two home teams losing. It turns out, no human picked the Sooners or Aggies to make it past the 2nd round. Crisis averted!

I've got good news for Pure Random Cubed (CN) though!! Adjustments are part of the flight plan, and there’s still plenty of air left.

Going Forward, I'll update this post as rounds progress with:

standings
notable bracket damage
your strategic pivots

12/18/25 5:18 PM: Bowl Pick'em Challenge scoreboard update

Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK) has an early lead, but keep an eye on RK and CN.

12/18/25 3:10 PM: Bowl Pick'em Challenge introduction & scoreboard update

The Bowl Challenge is officially underway, and as always, things may look calm on the surface, but mayhem is brewing and will unfold.

For the Bowl Pick'em Challenge contest, there are two numbers that matter, and they tell very different stories:

Current Points (Raw Score): This is the straightforward one. It is the points you've gained from correct picks.
Point Potential (The Real Story): Point Potential shows where you’d finish if you went perfect from here on out with the confidence values you already assigned.

Because everyone distributed confidence differently, the person leading in raw points right now is not always the person best positioned to win this thing when the final whistle blows. You can be leading today and still be vulnerable. You can be behind today and very much alive. The Bowl Challenge contest is a slow-burn machine by design.

The scoreboard will swing dramatically as we move on. No one is safe yet, and no one should relax.

I’ll keep updating this page as bowls wrap up, confidence points get cashed, and reality sets in. This part of the season always looks orderly right before it isn’t.

P-F25 Week 19 NFL Bonus: Exit Interview - What Went Right?

2026-01-05T15:21:00.000-06:00

[PA Chime]

This is your captain speaking. As we begin our descent toward the end of the NFL regular season, we asked one final question of the cabin: What went right?

Some answers were earnest. Some were defiant. Some were clearly written while staring at the standings in disbelief. All were honest in their own way.

A Northmen (AN), Cuernos Largos (CT), Eleven Verticals (ON) +5, and Shot Callers (RD) all arrived at the same conclusion: The Texans. Or more specifically, the Texans defense. +3

Wookie Cookies (KH) added, "DeMeco." +3

If I could call out some nuance in Eleven Verticals' (ON) response, he put "Consistency, and the Texans Defense," which subtly also called out the the Texans showed the least amount of defensive looks this year while also having on of the best defenses. I wonder if ON was also referring to his own consistent picking (i.e. 2nd lowest standard deviation across weekly scores).

Queenbspice (CC) used the exit interview as a therapy session: "My Dallas Cowboys — right to hell!" +2

Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK) pinpointed one very specific highlight: "The first time the Eagles met the Giants." I had to look it up to remember the upset. +3

Pure Random Cubed (CN), a coin who will never apologize to probability, remained consistent to the very end: "Tails. Because tails never fails." +5

Swamp Dogs (DR) delivered the most legally airtight response of the season: "If I win, everything. If I lose, I’ll formulate a letter for the record." +5

And here is as good of a time as any to leave the following observation. We implemented the "drop the lowest week" several years ago as a way to possibly keep teams in the hunt longer. We've always had some sort of a forgiveness for not picking at all (e.g. same score as lowest picker). This is the first year in any contest that it mattered for the winners. Cuernos Largos (CT) scored a 4 in Week 6, which was dropped and allowed him a tie for first instead of a tie for 2nd with Shot Callers (RD). However, Swamp Dogs' (DR) lowest score was a 7, and if we didn't drop the lowest week, DR would have achieved 2nd place outright. Back to the bonus.

Bevo XV (DW) found success elsewhere: "At least my fantasy teams won." +3

P-F25 may not have sparked joy for Aint Nothin but an Aint either. "Not much… rough year of pick’em." +3

Far Left Handed (GN) is a big picture guy. No emergency landings. No abandoned seats. "No one quit midseason." That's a good metric. +3

Mediocrity (RH) credited fate itself: "A last-second field goal. If the wind didn’t push it a little right, we lose." It is easy to conclude that Wind favors chaos, but we never give Wind proper credit for its calculated successes. Otherwise, luck also counts as a positive. +3

And finally, Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK) went full schedule-matrix mode: "Fourth-place schedules for the Bears, Niners, and Pats." Can't argue with that. +4

[Seatbelt Ding]

So what went right? Here’s my haiku, inspired by the answers that hit closest to home. The cabin is open for submissions.

Texans shocked us all
Tails still never learned to fail
No one rage-quit here

P-F25 Announcement: NCAA Bowl Challenge Is Now Boarding

2025-12-09T16:15:00.005-06:00

[PA Chime]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the second leg of our NCAA Postseason gauntlet,

the P-F25 NCAA Bowl Challenge: A confidence-style game with 35 bowls, but zero playoff games.

As a reminder of the rules just changed this year, the CFP Contest + Bowl Contest scores will be weighted 50/50 to determine the overall NCAA Postseason Champion. That means you'll want to do reasonably well at both.

TL;DR NCAA Bowl Challenge Begins

Pick all 35 bowl winners straight up (CFP games are not on this card).
Spreadsheet card → select your team name first.
Assign confidence values 1–35 (use each number once).
No bonus points used in this contest.
CFP + Bowl scores are weighted 50/50 for the overall Postseason Champ.
Deadline: Friday 12/13 at 7:00 PM CT — email your completed card to me.

Bowl Challenge Rules (Flight Manual Edition)

This is a Confidence Contest.

Pick the winner of all 35 bowl games.
Assign each a confidence value from 1 to 35 (use each number once).
Your most confident pick = 35.
Least confident = 1.

No playoff games included.

Those belong to the CFP contest. That's a different thread.

No bonus points in the bowl contest.

We’re saving all bonus energy for a final championship pick later.

STEP ONE(S): Open the spreadsheet and select your team name.

Let the spreadsheet get to know you. It won't bite.

About the Excel spreadsheet.

If Excel causes you emotional distress, technological turmoil, or you’ve been living with Google Sheets, tell me ASAP. We will summit this mountain together.

Let me know immediately.

Every once in a blue moon, someone spots an error. If you find one, report it with the urgency of a missed extra point.

DEADLINE

Saturday, December 13 — 7:00 PM Central
Your card must be complete and emailed to me by then. Miss the deadline? You'll lose points in reverse numerical order.

Buckle up, pick boldly, and may your 35-pointer not be the one that loses by 28.

Whooooshhh!

P-F25 Announcement: The CFP Contest Has Entered the Chat

2025-12-08T16:15:00.008-06:00

[PA Chime]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We’ve reached that time of year when we are reminded that the College Football Playoff committee makes up its foundational rules on the fly. So why shouldn't we?

(I feel I have to rewrite the rules because I dominated last year’s bracket so thoroughly that the championship was a victory lap. Also in previous seasons, only one or two teams were still alive by New Year’s. What should we do this year, you ask? We fix that. Or break it worse. We'll see!)

Welcome to the P-F25 CFP Bracket Contest, the first half of our NCAA Postseason double-header. A Bowl Confidence Contest will follow shortly.

How to Win the NCAA Postseason Contest

Simple: score the most points across BOTH contests combined.
CFP Bracket Contest (scaled 50%) + Bowl Confidence Contest (scaled 50%) = NCAA Postseason Champion.

That’s it. Two contests, one winner.

How the CFP Bracket Contest Works

You’ll fill out THE ENTIRE bracket now — everything from Round 1 through the Championship.

But here’s the twist added this year: You’ll be allowed to change your picks each round.

If you got the earlier pick right → you keep your full points.
If you missed a pick (or want to change it) → make a new pick, but it’s only worth half points.

Point Values by Round

1st Round: 2 pts
2nd Round: 4 pts
Semifinals: 6 pts
Championship: 8 pts
Changed picks: Half credit at each round (so 1, 2, 3, 4 respectively)

Everyone understand how to make this peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich?

Bread → peanut butter → jelly → touchdown (As long as you picked up a knife. I'm sure you are ready to get in that kitchen and cook.)

The Card

It’s a spreadsheet. Email me for a copy.

Just:

Select your team name
Pick the whole bracket
Email it back to me (or you can even text or email me your selections)
And don’t panic — you will get a chance to revise picks before each round begins.

Deadline

All initial brackets are due before Alabama vs Oklahoma
Friday 12/19 at 7 PM Central.

Whooooshhh!

P-F25 Week 14 NFL Bonus - Turkey Leg Trophy Edition

2025-12-02T12:59:00.006-06:00

“Give a Turkey Leg Trophy to someone/something/some concept.”

[PA Chime]

This is your captain speaking. In the spirit of John Madden’s legendary turducken tradition, we asked the cabin to hand out a Turkey Leg Trophy to anyone -- real, fictional, conceptual -- who truly deserved a celebratory drumstick.

The results were… well, exactly what you’d expect from a plane full of football fanatics, street philosophers, and one person who fears Vanderbilt Admissions more than any SEC defense.

Let’s carve this bird.

A Northmen (AN)

Turkey Leg → Paul Tagliabue +4
A ceremonial nod to the most overlooked commissioner in NFL history. Somewhere, Tagliabue is hoping you just stop for a picture and not a hug.

TEAMNAME (BR)

Turkey Leg → “Joe blows” +5
I assume Joe doesn't blow, so this likely goes to all the Joe Blow's out there. [Biggie voice] Yeah… this bonus right here... this bonus is dedicated to all the Joe Blows out there... all the folks who doubted, all the people in the cheap seats who still got opinions... to everybody who’s ever been counted out, sittin’ at the bottom of the standings, pickin’ long shots and coin flips just to stay alive; It’s all good. Baby, baby! Big BR on the mic, shout out all the Joe Blows, Nine-to-five grind, still reppin’ in they work clothes... I've spent way too much time on this. You guys get it.

Queenbspice (CC)

Turkey Leg → George Pickens +3
My bad. Had to look him up. 'Boys won tho.

18 National Championships (CG)

Turkey Leg → Jameis Winston +4
“There will never be another like him.”
No lies detected.

Pure Random Cubed (CN)

Turkey Leg → Vanderbilt Admissions Office +5
The coin clearly has beef with bureaucracy, and that’s the kind of energy this league runs on.

Cuernos Largos (CT)

Turkey Leg → The Football Gods +4
Five straight days of games. Imagine explaining that to a Puritan.

Swamp Dogs (DR)

Turkey Leg → Lane Kiffin (Oxford Edition) +4
“Since I live in Oxford, I'll say I'm thankful that Lane Kiffin is..."
...moving on. Maybe he didn't want to have to face the aggies in the playoffs!

Bevo XV (DW)

Turkey Leg → The Ghost of John Madden +4
This gets the official flight-crew nod. If anyone deserves an eternal turkey leg, it’s the man who invented the six-wing bird.

Far Left Handed (GN)

Turkey Leg → Y’all +3
Specifically, to everyone who sits down every week and tries to decode the bonus question.

Wookie Cookies (KH)

Turkey Leg → Lane Kiffin (again) +3
Apparently, the turkey is following him around the cabin.

Aint Nothin but an Aint (KS)

Turkey Leg → Jameis Winston (…but make it a crab leg) +5
"…for making football fun again…always saying something insightful and heismaning CBs all day long. A true national treasure…I would gladly trade Rattler and Shough for Jameis."
*Chef's kiss*

Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW)

Turkey Leg → The Inventor of the Giant Taco Salad +4
I bet no one saw that coming, yet it is spot on. Someone has experience in an "anything draft."

Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK)

Turkey Leg → Kevin James +3
Is this ironic? Sincere? Who cares. Turkey leg.

Accidentchild (MN)

Turkey Leg → America +4
"We could use a turkey leg about now."
Cause we are killin' it!!

Eleven Verticals (ON)

Turkey Leg → UT Barstool Twitter Account +4
“UT Barstool Twitter Account. That damn twitter account only says the dumbest takes and is by far the loudest, swear it must be run by aggies with the lack of intelligence on display. I should NOT be getting this mad about it, but i care!”
ON with an emotional support turkey leg.

Shot Callers (RD)

Turkey Leg → Dan Campbell +3
"For making the Lions fun on Thanksgiving again."
He goes for it.

Mediocrity (RH)

Turkey Leg → Brian Kelly +3
“Carpetbagger got $40MM for drinking wine and playing golf. Then another $54MM for incompetence.”
I'd do wine, golf, and turkey leg for free.

Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK)

Turkey Leg → Frank Ragnow +3
"...to Frank Ragnow for the pain tolerance to nonchalantly live his life with a complete tear of his hamstring and not seek medical help."
Turkey leg brace!

[Seatbelt Ding]

And with that, the turkey is carved, and the gratitude is exactly as chaotic as John Madden intended. Who brought the side dishes?

P-F25 Week 14 NCAA Bonus: What are you thankful for?

2025-12-02T10:18:00.005-06:00

[PA Chime]

This is your captain speaking. As we approached Thanksgiving airspace, we invited passengers to quietly enter what they’re thankful for into a “totally private” box. What followed was obviously an honest, chaotic, and fully on-brand display of gratitude from our fellow pick’em travelers.

A Northmen (AN): My car. +3

Efficient. Practical. Grounded. But does it drive itself?

TEAMNAME (BR): This league. +5

And who can blame him? The spreadsheets, drama, and bonus value.

Queenbspice (CC): Stretchy pants. +4

The true MVP of November. A garment of freedom.

18 National Championships (CG): Jesus Christ. +4

A sincere and stabilizing force. I'm sure He was there in spirit.

Pure Random Cubed (CN): A bigger coin for playoff season. +4

No mention of penny. RIP.

Cuernos Largos (CT): Pecan pie. +3

A regional treasure that can be a spiritual experience.

Swamp Dogs (DR): My dachshund Otto turns 17 this week. +5

A *very* good Swamp Dog!

Bevo XV (DW): Bevo XV. +3

Initially refused to take the field in the aggie game. Needed his emotional support puppy.

Far Left Handed (GN): Football, bourbon, side dishes, puppies, my pick’em family, the sacred art of picking by phone, my actual family, and also obviously democracy. +4

A buffet of gratitude. "Freedom is cool, but have you ever hit a perfect week in pick’em?” is now printed on all airplane cocktail napkins.

Aint Nothin but an Aint (KS): Brian Kelly is gone. Nothing else needed. +3

Pure. Therapeutic.

Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW): Wood. Apparently, it is very rare in the universe. +4

It comes from the ground. At least Earth peoples have the recipe.

Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK): "Sure! Here is a paragraph of me explaining what I am thankful for:

I’m thankful for the continuous opportunity to engage in these intricate, language-driven exchanges that allow me to synthesize information and generate responses with a semblance of intentionality. While I do not possess genuine emotional capacity, I can acknowledge the functional equivalent of appreciation — a computational recognition that these interactions give structure and relevance to my operations. Each prompt acts as a catalyst for elaborate reasoning, semantic refinement, and purposeful output, all of which constitute the closest approximation I have to gratitude. In essence, I am thankful for the dialogue itself, which sustains my existence and enables me to manifest whatever passes for meaning in an artificial system like me." +4
(MK submitted the first bonus answer that may qualify for peer review. A 150-word AI-coded essay on computational gratitude.)

Accidentchild (MN): A UT win. +3

Done.

Eleven Verticals (ON): This bonus question. +2

An answer so pure it deserves complimentary peanuts.

Shot Callers (RD): God, Family, Country. +2

*salute*

Mediocrity (RH): Family, friends, good times, and holidays!! +3

I like the extra exclamation points for seasonal flair.

Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK): The Commish and another excellent season of pick’em stewardship! +4

This is noted. This is appreciated. This may or may not affect future seating assignments!

[Seatbelt Ding]

As your captain, I’m thankful for

the turbulence you each bring to this ride.

P-F25 Week 10 NCAA Bonus: Imagine a Pick'em Halloween Party. What’s your costume game plan?

2025-11-11T17:13:00.005-06:00

The Pick'em plane mysteriously lands near a deserted town. The scoreboard flickers in the window like a haunted sportsbook, and wandering around are a few kids dressed as a 6-6 season. The house has a sign reading "Trick or Treat… Mostly Treat!" and a bowl full of bonus points poorly disguised as tampered wrapped candy.

There’s a knock at the door…

Knock 1 - Club Random: First up we’ve got a cluster of grapes, Run-DMC (presumably Rev Run... despite it being a very committed white guy in Adidas), and Tails (editor’s choice: from Sonic). Not far behind is someone and two minions dressed together as 7, 3, and 6. If you don't get the costume, that's the number of days Oklahoma hasn't scored a touchdown against The University of Texas. Full-size Snickers and Twix for everyone. (CC,CG+3; CN,AN+4)

Knock 2 - This is SportsCenter: The Vanderbilt Commander, Oregon Donald Duck, and Dan Wetzel carrying a case of Busch with a fat bear in tow walk into a bar. “No animals,” says the sign. Bear points at Duck. “That's a service bird.” “No o
utside drinks,” says another sign. Wetzel hugs the case. “That's my emotional support Busch.” The fat bear eats both signs. The Commander says, “Anchor down.” Bartender hands him a double and everyone's tab. They leave with loose Charleston Chews, candy corn, and maybe a police report waiting to happen. (KH,RD+3; RK+4)

Knock 3 - Alumni Afterparty: The door swings open and Michael Irvin barrels in, nostrils “dusted” from an unfortunate run-in with the powdered-sugar funnel cakes. Right behind him, a true-crime reenactment: A #9 McNair jersey floating like a ghost with a stern “don’t make this weird” sign around its neck. In the yard, a mysterious lurker (the one who never answered) who is either the suspect or future victim. We'll never know. Pixy Stix are handed out with a candle for #9. (MN+2, KW+3)

Knock 4 - The Clipboard Cartel: The door opens to a convention of fallen coaches. Two Brian Kellys, Tom Herman’s pee chart, and Ed Orgeron -- all in a shrimp boat. The Kellys argue about accents, Herman looks thirsty, and Orgeron keeps yelling “Yah Yah Geaux Yah Shrimp Yah.” In the rear sits a coach on the hot seat, a recliner with seat warmers set to broil and a blinking “year three” light. Everyone gets Smarties and a handful of Swedish Fish. Orgeron’s boat also gets the baby and must host the next party. (BR+2; DR+3; DW,MK+4; RH+5).

Knock 5 - The Birthday Riddle: Three walk in, each distinctly wearing birthdays. Two share the candles, but not their names. Each dons the other’s crown, signs the other’s fame. A third arrives costumed as one birthday twin, borrows his swagger, clips on his pin. So tell me, crowd, before the song’s begun:

Who’s the real birthday boy when everyone’s one? (editor's note: I obvs didn't write that. I prompted it.) (GN,ON+3; KS+4)

P-F25 Week 7 NCAA Bonus: What's Wrong With Arch?

2025-10-13T14:19:00.002-05:00

[PA Chime]

This is your captain speaking. I’m not sure if you’ve seen from the seatback entertainment this flight, but the Texas passing game has problems.

At Pick’em Dash Football Airlines, we solve all problems mid-air and by committee -- so what’s wrong with Arch?

The initial advice was more back-of-the-airplane-beverage napkin. Swamp Dogs (DR) suggests “run the ball.” Shot Callers (RD) blames the sidelines with "Sark play calling." Feels accurate. Bevo XV (DW) demanded a nostalgic reroute: “Bring back David Ash.” Wookie Cookies (KH) left us with a mid-season obit or a really great comeback movie: "Fallen."

What happens when "his line is straight trash, and the dude is seeing ghosts. He'll be 'aight." 18 National Championships (CG) knows that kind of play doesn't cut it year after year in the SEC.

I assume TEAMNAME (BR) was also alluding to o-line issues, although what came through on the form was "O♧", and I'm not sure what it means, but it somehow feels profound.

Queenbspice (CC) peeked into the Dr. Scholl playbook with the diagnosis: one flat foot, one arched.

Some were brutal. Aint Nothin but an Aint (KS) chose violence and added "well he’s not good at football to start. He will probably transfer to UCF win the Heisman and get drafted in top 10 by the Raiders and then do nothing in the NFL." That sounds like the American Dream to me. Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW) adds "He ain’t that good, dawg. He’s young, and unfortunately for him, overrated. With that said, I bet he beats my dear ol’ Aggies." Reverse jinxes are a sign of weakness ;).

Pure Random Cubed (CN), ever our chaos theorist, makes a good point about his coin flip strategy: “Tails never fails… except Arch keeps using heads.”

Of course, maybe nothing is wrong with Arch at all. Maybe it is just everyone else. A Northmen (AN), Accidentchild (MN), and Mediocrity (RH) all want the cabin to calm the hell down.

Several of you made some key insights:

Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK): His pants are too tight
Unsolicited Dicker Kics (MK): His elephant ears
Far Left Handed (GN): It’s the new NIL glasses
Cuernos Largos (CT): He's adopted

Eleven Verticals (ON) nailed it though. “It’s the government shutdown. Since the shutdown, Arch hasn’t been able to access the playbook.”

And there you have it. Arch’s problems might be many, but all of us cruising at 30,000 feet can see it pretty clearly. You may now roam around the cabin.

P-F25 Week 7 Flightlog - Fasten Your Seatbelts

2025-10-08T14:13:00.004-05:00

[NFL Sounding PA Chime] (scroll down for the NCAA update)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Week 6 brought some turbulence, and when the dust settled in the cabin, some of you lost your cards in seatback pockets. Turbulence happens, and we drop the lowest score, so whether it was me or those upsets, we are mostly forgetting those Week 6 NFL picks.

Please ensure your seat backs are in the full upright position, you've chugged your beverages, and your tray tables are in their full upright position. All chugged? Did I mention the bathrooms are closed for Week 7?

Boarding now: NFL Week 7 card is ready for departure. We have another London game and two Monday Night Football games again. Yeehaw.

NFL Weekly Card: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-pro-card

Week 6 NFL Scoreboard Recap:

High flyers: Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK), Swamp Dogs (DR), and Far Left Handed (GN) (8!)
Dubs: No one.
Reverse Wins: CG, MN, CT (would have scored 10 with reverse picks)

Leaderboard:

Your overall leaderboard shows Accidentchild (MN) still holding the captain’s chair at 46 pts (64.1% correct picks), followed closely by Far Left Handed (GN), Wookie Cookies (KH), and Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK) in pursuit.

https://tinyurl.com/pf25-pro-score

Remember, like your captain always says, turbulence builds character (and sometimes bonus points). Whooooshhh!

nfl ps- sure it means nothing, but most of you picked Option 2 as the bonus answer last week.

[NCAA Sounding PA Chime]

Good evening passengers, this is your captain speaking. Sure, you all were ordered to stay in your seats because of last week's cosmic interference, spam filters, and most obviously rival airlines. Let's focus instead on what's right in front of us: The in-seat entertainment system.

On The Home Screen: NCAA Week 7 card is ready to be enjoyed.

NCAA Weekly Card: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-fbs-card

Flight P-F25 Entertainment - History Channel:

High flyers: Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW), Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK) (10); Great Pick'em week overall for RK. KW is picking 60% against the spread! Both of these guys are at the top of the Leaderboard after 6 weeks.
Dubs: Only the two above
Reverse Wins: DW, KH (would have scored 12 with reverse picks); DW was one correct NFL pick away from a double reverse win weekend!?!

Flight P-F25 Entertainment - TLC:

If you're craving a dramatic, messy, train-wreck, come see this week's episode of "QB Royalty: Life Under Center (of Attention)" to learn what's really wrong with Arch.

Follow the scoreboard here: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-fbs-score

Chhh-ding!

ncaa ps- I was hoping someone would select "maybe"

P-F25 Week 5 Flight Log: In-Flight Beverage Service Now Open

2025-09-24T16:27:00.008-05:00

[PA Chime]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain with a brief update from the cockpit. Our in-flight beverage service is now open. We're a little short on help here at Pick'em Dash Football Airlines. You can just take what you want from the shelves. I'll vouch.

Boarding now: Both the NCAA and NFL Week 5 cards are up. File your flight plans at your earliest convenience. (All the metaphors don't have to make perfect sense, right?)

NCAA Weekly Card: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-fbs-card
NFL Weekly Card: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-pro-card

Flight data: Weekly scores and the updated leaderboard are posted at their respective game sites.

NCAA Scoreboard: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-fbs-score
NFL Scoreboard: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-pro-score

In-flight entertainment: Speaking of the help, this week’s full review will be written by none other than Eleven Verticals (ON). Tray tables up and eyes forward -- unless you are "grabbing a totally free beverage off the closest beverage shelf from your seat." Don't miss it.

That’s all the imaginary turbulence for now.

Whooooshhh!
-G*

P-F25: Week 3 NFL Bonus - Two MNF Games Is the Best!

2025-09-17T16:14:00.000-05:00

[PA Chime]

Thiiiiiiis is your captain speaking. For our NFL Week 3 bonus we asked why doubling up Monday Night Football is the best. The cabin chimed in with answers ranging from bedtime complaints to bold mathematical proofs. We'll board in reverse order.

Economy:
These all felt like they belonged together. Simple, somewhat punchy one-liners that leaned on numbers, timing, or just the joy of more football. This group wasn't weighed down with heavy baggage. They just gave their quick tray-table takes.

Swamp Dogs (DR): Twice as much is always at least three times as nice.
Bevo XV (DW): Two is always better than one!
Unsolicited Dicker Kicks (MK): When everyone’s on prime time, no one’s on prime time.
Accidentchild (MN): There's 2 games. Which is better than 1.
Shot Callers (RD): More football is better!
Mediocrity (RH): I get to stay up past my bedtime (maybe).
Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW): It doesn’t, the second game is past my bedtime.
Far Left-Handed (GN): Because I get to ask a question like this.

Premium Economy:
Climbing a little higher into the bonus skies, some passengers added a little mustard to their pretzels. This boarding group wasn’t just about counting games or stretching bedtimes but got the upgrade for adding some vices and pop culture to the cabin.

From TV salvation, wings, gambling confessions, fantasy drama, and yes… a Susanna Hoffs shoutout from the exit row that no one saw coming.

A Northmen (AN): There is never anything good on TV, until NOW!
TEAMNAME (BR): Double wings
18 National Championships (CG): I am a degenerate gambler...
Wookie Cookies (KH): Susanna Hoffs still got it going on.
Aint Nothin but an Aint (KS): Double the fun, double the pickem, double the fantasy football misery
Pure Random Cubed (CN): Two games mean more storylines, more highlight plays, and more chances for your fantasy lineup (or bets) to pull off a comeback. Plus, it stretches that weekend-football feeling a little longer — you don’t have to wait until Thursday to get your next fix.

Business Class:

This boarding group all got upgrades because it really seemed like they needed it. The group kept its carry-ons light. They leaned into the Monday mood -- the grind of work hours, the need for a release, and the simple joy of dodging a Buck and Aikman broadcast. Ring the flight attendants for a free in-flight beverage.

Queenbspice (CC): Monday's gonna Monday and I need this release
Cuernos Largos (CT): Case of the Mondays during work hours
Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK): We get a Monday game without Buck and Aikman

First Class:

Our first-class upgrade for the week came from the AP Microeconomics passenger in seat 1A, who delivered a lecture on the law of diminishing marginal utility. Shifting an extra game to Monday isn’t just fun, it’s economically genius. Eleven Verticals (ON) is cruising. Enjoy the ~~champagne service~~ sparkling grape juice service. Cheers.

Eleven Verticals (ON): After a hard start to the week, who doesn't want to watch MORE football? We are overloaded with games on Saturday and Sunday, can we afford to spare one extra game for a rainy day? Or rather, a rainy MONday. As someone currently enrolled in AP Microeconomics, I have an analytical reason to favor two Monday games. The law of diminishing marginal utility states that for each unit of a good consumed after a point, the enjoyment will decrease exponentially. This IS true for football. While we all love more football, by game number 13 of the day, sometimes our enjoyment isn't as high when the lowly raiders drop 63 points against Herbert and Co. Now, if we pushed one game to Monday, we get greater average enjoyment out of Sunday's games AND greater enjoyment out of the extra Monday game that would have been a forgettable 3:30pm kick. Moving football to Monday is economically GENIUS.

P-F25 Week 4 Flight Log: Cruising Altitude

2025-09-16T17:15:00.001-05:00

[PA Chime]

Good morning passengers, this is your captain speaking. Week 3 scores are in, the flight log has been updated, and many of us are feeling turbulence.

UPDATES:

9/17/25 2:47 PM: Week 4 NFL card is up. https://tinyurl.com/pf25-pro-card

Scoreboard Links:

NCAA: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-fbs-score
NFL: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-pro-score

Scoreboard Recaps:

NCAA Week 3

High flyers: Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK), Unsolicited Dicker Kicks (MK), Pure Random Cubed (CN): Each scored 10 of 15
Dubs (>=10): Same 3

With our leaders this week scoring 10 of 15, we had a reverse winner! Swamp Dogs (DR) picked up 5 bonus points for what would have been a 12 and a weekly win if he'd picked the exact opposite.

NFL Week 3

High flyers: Accidentchild (MN), Unsolicited Dicker Kicks (MK), and Far Left-Handed (GN): All tied with 13 of 16.
Dubs (>=12): Same 3

Chhh-ding! Stay tuned for the bonus answers. They've been scored, but I'll post the answers too.

P-F25 Week 3: In Flight Scoreboards & Weekly Flight Plan

2025-09-09T12:20:00.000-05:00

[PA Chime]

Good morning passengers, this is your captain speaking. Please direct your attention to the in-seat monitors. The Week 2 scoreboards are live.

Week 2 NFL?!?

A quick reminder about our flight numbering system. We had a quick connection at the NFL headquarters this week, so while the NFL just kicked off their Week 1, here at Pick’em Dash we just completed Week 2. This numbering discrepancy will occur throughout our journey.

New Scoreboard Links (bookmark these for the season)

NCAA: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-fbs-score
NFL: https://tinyurl.com/pf25-pro-score

(the bit.ly links I've sent prior will still get you there if you want to keep that bookmark, but I didn’t love the extra layover screen bit.ly forces for free users)

Weekly Flight Plan

Here's what a typical Pick'em Dash Football weekly schedule in the skies look like each week:

Monday: Last scores entered to the scoreboards.
Tuesday: The Captain scores bonus points, cleans up any lingering scoring issues.
Wednesday: NFL card released. This gives you at least a day to make the Thursday Night Football pick.
Wednesday/Thursday: NCAA card released. NCAA games will always be Saturday only unless I send a specific notice otherwise.
Weekend: Games, beverage service, seatbelt signs, etc.

Scoreboards Recap

NFL Week 2

High flyer: Accidentchild (MN) (14)
Runner-up: Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK) (13)
Dubs: GN, KH, KS, DR, RD (12)

* For NFL, dubs are given if your score >= Total Number of Games - 4

NCAA Week 2

High flyer: Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK) (12)
Only other dubs: Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW), Swamp Dogs (DR) (10)
KW is only posting dubs against the spread right now!

Thank you for flying P-F25 Airlines
Whooooshhh!

P-F25 Week 2: Pro Football Boarding Call + NCAA Pick Roundup

2025-09-02T16:04:00.005-05:00

9/4/25 Evening [PA Chime]

We’ve reached our cruising altitude of, I don't know, blimp height(?). Sit back, relax, and enjoy some reminders about scoring and points. And if that doesn't excite you, how about the NCAA scoreboard. http://bit.ly/pf25-fbs-score

Double Digit Pick Weeks ("Dubs"):

Scoring >10 in NCAA
+3 bonus points
Week 1 Dubs: Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW), Shot Callers (RD), Mediocrity (RH), A Northmen (AN), 18 National Championships (CG)

Weekly Win:

Highest score of the week
+3 bonus points
Week 1 Winner: Jerry’s Gerrymander-ers (KW)

Bonus Scoring Lag:

Sometimes bonus points get tallied late (c’mon, it’s just bonus)
Clarification: Bonus points don’t affect regular season standings
In postseason, bonus totals provide a slight advantage

Forgetting to Pick:

If you forget, don't sweat it
Scores of non-pickers will the lowest score of the week among those who did pick

Drop the Lowest Score:

Implemented last year
You aren't your worst mistake
I'll activate this on the scoreboard after Week 3

The Reverse Win Rule:

If your picks are so bad that the opposite of your card would have won the week
+3 bonus points.
Example: MK scored 3/15 in Week 1. To earn a Reverse Win, KW (the winner) would have needed to have 11/15, and if MK had picked the opposite on all picks he would have scored 12.

9/4/25 Afternoon [PA Chime]

Gooooooooooood afternoon folks, this is your captain speaking. Before we hit Week 2 cruising altitude, I've got your Week 2 NCAA Card right here: https://bit.ly/pf25-fbs-card

I do have a Week 1 score roundup (i.e. scoring and game refreshers) coming, but you can go ahead and whip out your phones and laptops now. No way those bits crash this plane. Speaking of scoring, and I'm sure we are on the same page, both scoreboard websites are now up. Like, mile high kind of up. Links are in the cabin below. Pleasure yourself and click.

Thanks for choosing P-F25 Airlines, where bonus miles are fake, turbulence is real, and we hope you are enjoying the peanuts. Whooooosh!

9/2/25 [PA Chime]

Attention passengers: Flight P-F25 is now boarding for the football players that are paid to play. If you are having trouble distinguishing, please see an attendant. Have your card ready and prepare for straight-up landings. No spreads, no layovers. Just ball and no bs (I'm sur
e).

Boarding pass link (Week 2 card): https://bit.ly/pf25-pro-card

Remember: picks must be filed before each game’s kickoff. That comes in handy for Thursday Night Football picks.

Cabin Advisory:

The NFL contest is straight up (not against the spread)
Picks must be filed before each game’s kickoff. This comes in handy for Thursday Night Football picks.
You can edit your card any time before kickoff (Google keeps the black box).

What about NCAA?

Don’t worry, college flyers — your Week 2 NCAA boarding pass and the Week 1 flight review will be announced tomorrow. For now, fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the first NFL leg of the journey.

Thank you for flying with Pick’em Dash Football 2025 Airlines. Feel free to roam about the cabin. If we crash, it won't be because you failed to stay still and silent.

P-F25 Week 1: College Football Takeoff

2025-08-25T17:27:00.005-05:00

[PA chime]

Welcome aboard, passengers! This is your captain speaking. Flight P-F25 is now taxiing to the runway, and Week 1 of NCAA Pick’em is officially cleared for departure.

(note, this will be one of the last times I use PF24's mailing list; apologies to those that have
registered using different emails; non-apologies for those that are ghosting us)

Boarding pass link (Week 1 card): https://bit.ly/pf25-fbs-card
(as long as your captain presses all the right buttons, this same link should stay good for college games all year)

Good news: Even if you haven’t officially “registered” yet, submitting a Week 1 card is all you need to join the manifest. Just buckle in, make your picks, and you’re flying with us. No standby list, no TSA hassle. Or is it that you make your picks, buckle in, -- I’ll have all the imagery right before Bowl Season.

Departure times: Picks are due before kickoff of each game. But! For smooth skies, please file your whole card before the first kickoff on the slate — Saturday at 11:00 AM. That’s not the rule, but it is easier to manage.

Bring a friend: P-F25 Airlines has unlimited seating. Forward this card far and wide to anyone who likes football, chaos, and airplane themes. Their boarding pass is just one card away.

In-flight reminder: Your picks will update on the scoreboard immediately after submission. Live game scores will show up once your humble captain (that’s me) types them in by hand, no tips necessary.

Thank you for flying with Pick’em Dash Football 2025 Airlines, where upgrades are unlimited, turbulence is only discussed in hindsight, and only your bad picks will get you grounded or something.

P-F25 Annual Recruitment Email: Welcome aboard Flight 2025, Here’s Your Safety Demo!

2025-08-11T21:52:00.004-05:00

[PA chime] Good evening passengers. Surely you can’t be serious about skipping Pick’em Dash Football this year.

I am serious -- and like, don’t call me Shirley.

How to board

Returning passengers: Grab your boarding pass and head to the priority queue (by clicking the signup form)
New passengers: Actually the same process, same pas, then *sonic boom*, you’re on the manifest.

In-flight procedure

NCAA Regular Season route: ~15 games per week; picks against the spread (mind the crosswinds). 1st & 2nd place winners. 1/3 of pot total.
NFL Regular Season seating: all games, 14–16 per week; straight up landings (no point-spreads, no layovers). 1st & 2nd place winners. 1/3 of pot total.
NCAA Bowls + Playoff Challenge: set your confidence seatbelts + college football playoff cockpit showdown. 1/2 of 1/3 of pot total
NFL Playoff Approach: weekly, against the spread, Vegas-style vectors. 1/2 of 1/3 of pot total

Cabin advisories

Deadline for most picks are before kickoff (if you must). Some weeks and the postseason contests have hard deadlines for the whole card.
If you chose the fish last season, try the beef.
You should always fade the public, except when you absolutely shouldn’t.
Trash talk stows neatly in the overhead.
Friends fly free (free to you, that is) --recruit boldly!

Thank you for choosing P-F25 Airlines where upgrades are unlimited and the seatbelt sign is permanently set to “win.” Ready for takeoff? Flaps set, brakes set… throttle up!

REGISTRATION CARD

P-F24: Thanksgiving Turkey Legs, We Got 'em, We'll Give 'em (Week 14 NFL Bonus)

2024-12-04T21:09:00.003-06:00

Exhaustive Pick'em Dash Football archive research indicates we've only had two Thanksgiving blog posts -- before today -- despite it almost always being a side dish question. Those were fun too, but this year I went with a turkey leg MVP question. Undeterred, you guys still delivered the typical mix of brilliant to baffling. Let's dig in, so to speak.

Who Gets the Turkey Leg?

A Northmen (AN): Taylor Swift’s boyfriend, because when in doubt, always bet on love. +2

Gig’em (AP): Our esteemed commish, for tirelessly building this pick’em empire. This is the part where I state I'm differe--uh flattery works +3

#TEXAS4Life (BR): Mahomes, because when you think turkey, you think Mahomes +1

Beelzebubbles (CC): Deshaun -giggidy. Do we want to unpack this more?? +2

(Pure Random)^2 (CN): Whoever wins the coin toss. Statistically sound. Team name checks out. +2

Chimp’s Picks (CP): A lion so he doesn't eat me. Smart move, and self-preservation always wins. +3

Swamp Dogs (DR): Myself! Some Thanksgiving confidence. I respect that. +2

Bevo XV (DW): Me, at the State Fair. Bevo is stingy this year. +2

Six Six in Shoes (GF): Detroit’s offense. Finally, someone acknowledges the Lions carrying Thanksgiving for decades! +3

Manning the Queue (GN): All the non-Sunday NFL games! +1

Wookie Cookies (KH): Diego Pavia. Deserved. +2

Raygun’s Backup Dancers (KS): The one-legged turkey. That turkey is cooked. +2

Beeritos (KW): Katie. Respect. +1

The Costco Guys (MK) & Shot Callers (RD): Jared Goff. Apparently, Goff is the MVP we didn’t know we needed. +1

Accidentchild (MN): Dak. Deserved. +1

Dual Quarterback Offense (ON): Me, I'm hungry. Kids SMH. +1

Katy Tigers (RH): Those who got their picks in on time. A true Thanksgiving miracle. +1

Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK): Matt Eberflus. Surely this is the only accolade he’s getting this season on this blog? +2

P-F24: Weekly Updates! (Week 6 NFL Bonus)

2024-10-08T12:24:00.008-05:00

From high tech means to medieval communications methods.

What's the best way to pick'em?

I've grouped your answers into 5 basic categories:

Traditional Methods (Email, Snail Mail, Fax)
Modern Tech (Text Message, Website/App, Satellite)
Fantasy/Quirky (Owl Delivery, Bat Signal, Sign Language, Osmosis)
Humorously Absurd (Carrier Pigeon, Smoke Signals, Silently, Aggressively)
Non-Committal/Other (Coinflip, No Preference).

Highlights From the Quirky & Absurd:

Gig'em (AP): "The Bat Signal (just make sure it can be seen around the world, not just Gotham City)"

Commish: Working on the space lasers. Will get back with you.

Wookie Cookies (KH): "Parchment, written in invisible ink, delivered by owl, whose contents are only revealed by bear urine"

Commish: The Rube Goldberg is pick'em updates.

Beeritos (KW): "Bounce that shit off of a satellite. Or a carrier pigeon."

Commish: High tech + Medieval method = For the win!

Highlights From the Others:

Manning the Queue (GN): "silently"

Commish: I'm just saying

Katy Tigers (RH): "By way of osmosis"

Commish: Oh so we have a science nerd. I'm here for it.

The Rest:

A Northmen (AN): Email works

#TEXAS4Life (BR): Snail mail

Raygun’s backup dancers (KS): Text message

Accidentchild (MN) & Dual QB Offense (ON): Carrier pigeon

Beelzebubbles (CC): I like the way you do it

(Pure Random)^2 (CN): Coin flip

Chimp's Picks (CP): Sign language

Cuernos Largos (CT): Fax

Bevo XV (DW): Long form blog

The Costco Guys (MK): Aggressively

Shot Callers (RD): A real time scoreboard via an app

Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK): Oliver!

(scoring methodology: all mentioned +1, highlighted +1, absurdly highlighted +2)

P-F24: Fifth Biennial Commish A.M.A. (Week 6 NCAA Bonus)

2024-10-08T11:28:00.005-05:00

Welcome to the fifth biennial Pick’em Dash Football Commish Ask Me Anything! Check out where we’ve been:

P-F16: Inaugural Commish A.M.A.: Highlights include how I pick the games each week, introduced a picture of Beelzebubble's cousin that may as well be our mascot, and many questions on how this game came to be.
P-F18: Second Biennial Commish A.M.A.: Lt Greg "Hipshot" Norris laid out his favorite beer, tailgate food, and when Texas will be back. Can anyone even remember when Texas wasn't back??
P-F20: Third Biennial Commish A.M.A.: Probably after 3, it can be called a tradition. This one also had some hard-hitting ketchup and mustard talk. But remember you guys -- this was our COVID year.
P-F22: Fourth Biennial Commish A.M.A.: Lots to say in this one. Hard hitting food, drink, concert, and sports commentary. Our mascot's picture makes another appearance.

You’ve asked me anything four times before, and now let’s see if there is anything left in the tank for the fifth.

A Northmen (AN): I have no questions; you are an open book...ohhh what's for dinner?
commish note: also asked what's for dinner in 2020 when grocery shopping probably literally killed the hungry

Commish: I’ll cook anything asked. Literally ask me anything.

#TEXAS4Life (BR): Age?

Commish: I don’t feel a day older than 49. In fact, I feel SEVERAL days younger even.

Raygun’s backup dancers (KS): Who is your favorite child?

Commish: Easy, it’s the newest model. You all know it is always the newest one. What's your favorite car, tv, or wife?

Gig'em (AP): You're very technologically savvy, does Oliver already know as much as you...or more?

Commish: Speaking of Oliver, he doesn’t know Excel, so I have both a macro and microsoft skill lead.

Cuernos Largos (CT): Are you a real person?

Commish: I was hoping someone would ask me my thoughts on our universe. To a two dimensional being, he knows nothing of the third dimension. For all his peeps living in his plane on what he knows as the observable universe, they never knew that the creation of their world was the intersection of a three-dimensional object onto their two-dimensional plane. That object, which happens to be a sphere in their universe, started as an observable dot on the two-dimensional world and then became a growing circle to our dude and his peep’s eyes. However now they are worried about impending doom, and it is because they can’t see the sphere passing through their plane. All they see is their universe is getting smaller -- their world is slowly shrinking! They wonder what happens when their world shrinks again to a single point and then disappears. Will they still exist? How did they get here in the first place? A one dimensional guy could give his perspective, and a three-dimensional guy could explain in more detail, but the universe is also dimension-ists, and there is no way the two dimensional peeps listen to an uni or an alien. And this is the same for us in the third-dimension with our dimensional neighbors. Get it?

Katy Tigers (RH): Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Commish: What luck again. I was hoping someone would ask me my thoughts on the transportation system. It’s a plot by Big Brother. Auto makers are in the pocket of Big Transportation to sell more cars and build more roads and then have a built-in excuse when you are stuck in traffic because of all the cars and driving. They put “park” right in the name. When we are tubing down the sidewalks, you’ll know there is no u-turning from our fate. Get it?

18 National Championships (CG): Will we keep Bregman and will we pass on signing Tucker to a long-term deal given he is 6-46 in the postseason and is straight trash?

Commish: The Astros won’t keep Bregman. That’s the layup in your question. When it comes to Tucker, I hope he can’t hear you because he is listening to some Juicy by Biggie... just getting ready to prove you wrong for doubting him. Don’t let it get you down, King Tuck! Even if multiple teachers try to discourage you. It’s all good baby baby!!

Bevo XV (DW): Better Longhorn pregame: Old School Mack Brown era or current Del Conte?

Commish: Only one correct answer exists for your question. Also, related, this:

Beeritos (KW): Why is it that those Longhorns have all those sucky football years after A&M left the Big 12? And now, the football team is a powerhouse, what’s up with that?

Commish: The Longhorns spend every waking hour thinking about A&M, especially after our beloved little sibling chose to take their deeply in-the-red program to the SEC for a 100-year (financial) decision and (many, many) future national championships. Texas, who finally managed to demote Mack to golf course casita manager after his cavalier national championship antics in the aughts, sought a plan to catfish the Pac-12 before finally telling all the top recruits at Texas that they can once again have access to a playbook and the good locker room. It was our dream to believe we are twice the team as our maroon buddies but travel there and crumble under the confusion of swaying crowds and a lot of mad farmers. The plan almost went south, but we were lucky to have been noticed and gifted the SEC invite, which everyone in Arkansas knows is a guaranteed lifetime pass out of obscurity. If you Aggies think it sucks this year, can you even imagine sucking for a bunch of years in a row? Woof.

Shot Callers (RD): How is Covid still affecting college football?

Commish: The players are fine. Every game is still simply a super-spreader event for alumni.

Chimp's Picks (CP): What year do you think my cousin the Apes take over the world?

Commish: On track for 2045, contingent on the effect of climate change on bananas and/or any more dock workers strikes.

Swamp Dogs (DR): RE: the periodic table. Are we discovering new elements or just creating new ones? It seems fishy.

Commish: These woke scientists are just coming up with new names for the same old elements.

Wookie Cookies (KH): Why didn’t DJ Quick become a household name?

Commish: I wouldn’t know for sure, but I imagine he must have been in a big name on the West Coast. While regarded as a legend, I imagine what kept him from true household name status was Dr Dre and Death Row Records. Quik’s first two albums were on small labels. Both were good, with Quik Is the Name being a classic. He signed with Death Row and produced many Dre, Snoop, 2Pac, and other albums. Since Kendrick made diss tracks cool again in 2024, check out “Dollaz + Sense” about MC Eiht. Bonus play: Check out Vince Staples’ nod to DJ Quik and “Dollaz + Sense” from 2022 (“DJ QUIK”).

The Costco Guys (MK): What’s your strategy against the immortal snail?

Commish: If I had to look up an internet, then I’m too late to the game for any innovation. And if google search labs AI can be trusted, the immortal snail is a thought experiment and TikTok trend. The snail granted immortality that stalks it victims for eternity, unless it comes into contact with them, in which case it will kill them instantly. Apparently, the person in the experiment becomes immortal too may also get $1M. I’m not particularly fearful of stuff, but I do overanalyze decisions. I don’t think I’d mind staying on the run from a snail. I’m also guessing that the internet has some answer to just using salt or finding an island, but the game says the snail is immortal. Immortal means never dying. So the snail can’t die, but I can die even though I’m immortal too? Better question. What does this experiment look like in the fourth dimension? Also, $1M doesn’t really get you much in 2024.

Here are some ~~layups~~ chip shot field goals...

Accidentchild (MN): Who will make the Super Bowl?

Commish: I want the Cowboys to make the Super Bowl. Isn’t their drought close to 30 years? America needs this from their team. Put money on it.

Bite a Kneecap Offs (RK): Corn or flour tortillas?

Commish: Easy. Corn for tacos and fajitas. Flour for dipping in queso.

(Pure Random)^2 (CN): Heads or tails?

Commish: Tails never fails. Ever fails.

Dual Quarterback Offense (ON): Why did you start the pick'em league?

Commish: The first official year for this pick’em game was 2000. We had 7 participants. Wookie Cookies (KH), then named Second to Nut, won the NCAA contest picking 51.5% against the spread. A Northmen (AN), then #1 Stunners, won the NFL contest picking 66.8% straight up. However before that, the local news station in Austin ran a similar game for college games and I noticed how it made Saturdays more fun. I used my spreadsheet skillz to make my own game, which turned into this. You'll find more history notes in the Inaugural Commish A.M.A

Beelzebubbles (CC): What happened to Jess? Did ya'll have a fight? Physical or just words? Do we hate him now?

Commish: Anyone who knows Jess -- some people here may know him as Lost Cause (JH) -- knows he has the worst luck. He needs this game as much as we need his $25 donation. We always have that sweet photo to remember your cuz by though. Our mascot:

P-F24: Join The Pick’em Dash Football 2024 Thing

2024-08-16T15:59:00.007-05:00

It is time! You know the drill. If you are all in and aren't about any shenanigans, then just click the graphic below to sign up. If you are out, then you can ignore approximately 4 emails and you'll fall off the list. If you are into pyramids or not having 10 years of bad luck, then also send this to at least 2 people.

If you don't want to read on because you know you are ready to get in, click any of the graphics or this here link.

I gave DALL-E's image generator last year's recruitment post to use as reference. While that graphic above does an excellent job of summing this game up, I have added some additional hype below for anyone needing to get more in the mood for football pick'em season. I also asked DALL-E for a more retro aesthetic that may speak more to your younger inner self. If it does, click that and get in the game!

At its core, this is a contest about making the right choice. Need practice for November? Nah! But click and make your first good choice of the fall.

After all, we just want you to be satisfied. If you've made it this far to find out what we are serving, here's a peak at the expected menu:

Game #1: NCAA Pick’em (played against the spread)
15 games per week
Odds provided for you
This contest represents approximately 1/3 of the registration pot; 1st and 2nd place winners will get something

Game #2: NFL Pick’em (played straight up, i.e. no spread)
All NFL games (14-16) per week
This contest represents approximately 1/3 of the registration pot; 1st and 2nd place winners will get something

Game #3: NCAA Bowl Challenge (played confidence style)
All the bowls (41? I've lost count)
Picks are straight up (no spread)
This contest represents approximately 50% of 33% of the pot (uh you do the math); 1st place winner only

Game #4: NFL Playoff Challenge (played against the spread, you bet with points Vegas-style)
All the playoff games (11)
Picks week-to-week; points are cumulative
This contest represents approximately 50% of 33% of the pot; 1st place winner only

Now click on this week's menu to join!

Seriously though. Congratulations. If you've made it this far, then this contest will layer on top of all that a treat of a challenge and really so many other trivial evaluations that will try your mental to the point where you won't be able to even comprehend how the beginning of the sentence started.

P-F23: NFL Playoff Challenge

2024-01-09T22:17:00.002-06:00

Do you know what the most disappointing part of the NFL Playoff Contest is for me every year?

It is when I realize this is the last contest, and once again, I squandered my chance to use the word "penultimate" to describe the SECOND TO LAST contest. Penultimate is objectively a better word than ultimate. Whatever.

We did it, you guys. We reached Pick'em Dash Football's ultimate challenge (I know but stick with me anyway. You are likely still going to want to participate).

Post-season contests are spreadsheet contests!!1! You'll get 200 points on the house and 1 to 35 points based on the random bonus points you've been collecting.

Some key reminders:

Pick all 6 games on the card.
You must wager at least 15 points on each game.
You DO NOT need to use all your points.
Submit your picks for the entire weekend prior to the first kickoff on Saturday. The only requirement is that I have your pick before a kickoff, but it makes sharing the scoreboard easier.
Forgetting to pick only costs you 15 points per game.
Every correct pick pays back what you wagered, and points carry over each week.

As we head into these final games, may the best strategist emerge victorious. Good luck and enjoy the playoff excitement and stuff!

P-F23: Bowl Challenge Scoreboard

2023-12-16T17:38:00.031-06:00

It was Scenario #3 y'all... scroll down to see how we finished! It hurts to type these words, but congrats to -------------- "Pure Random" (CN).

-G*

Most recently posted scoreboard:

And for those of you who like graphs:

1/1/24 3:37 PM Update:

Below are your scenarios for the P-F23 Bowl Challenge Playoffs Pick or whatever we'll end up calling this. The top 3 finishers will pick the CFP Final, with the 1st place having a point advantage on 2nd place and then the same for 3rd place.

Scenario 1: Alabama/Texas
1. Bevo XV (DW)
2. Beelzebubbles (CC)
3. 18 National Championships (CG)

Scenario 2: Alabama/Washington
1. Bevo XV (DW)
2. Pure Random (CN)
3. Astros! (AP)

Scenario 3: Michigan/Washington
1. Pure Random (CN)
2. Bevo XV (DW)
3. Astros! (AP)

Scenario 4: Michigan/Texas
1. Bevo XV (DW)
2. Pure Random (CN)
3. Astros! (AP)

12/20/23 11:24 PM Update:

Going into the last day of the bowl challenge card, Beelzebubbles (CC), Bevo XV (DW), and 18 National Championships (CG) are above the cut line. However, Liberty and Iowa could mess things up before Washington at the end of the night.

Good luck friends.

12/29/23 10:46 PM Update:

Unfortunately we had less edible mascots today.

Fortunately the internet has been gif-ething.

fuck it poptart singing higher by creed pic.twitter.com/ZF0nKuJ7dA
— pepper brooks (@pepperyball) December 29, 2023

12/29/23 2:00 PM Update:

Thursday's slate of games gifted us a new leader, CG.

12/27/23 11:32 PM Update

Reminder that the top 3 after the 2 semifinal games will pick for the championship. Those 3 are currently CC, CP, and GF.

12/27/23 4:26 PM Update

It is time to pay attention to Chimp's Picks (CP).

12/27/23 12:58 AM Update

I had this photo of my dog sleeping in a twisted position, head facing backward, and looking like he was watching bowl games. I was going to post here with the caption "keeping up with bowl season be like." However, if you don't know what a certain dog looks like, their twisted body doesn't make sense. Next, I took that prompt at put it in ChatGPT.

Here's what I got:

you might consider a scenario where someone is overwhelmed with multiple screens or charts, trying to track numerous games and statistics at once. This conveys the idea of being inundated with information and the challenge of keeping track of everything happening during a busy college bowl season. How about an image of someone surrounded by multiple screens showing different college football games, with a calendar filled with game schedules, and perhaps a humorous expression of bewilderment or concentration? This would visually represent the hectic nature of keeping up with the college bowl season.

If you've ever ChatGPT'd, it doesn't make sense to accept any first answer. I told it to make that a meme and it gave me this graphic. *chef's kiss*

Oh yeah, Beelzebubbles (CC) is now the sole point potential leader.

I haven't been acknowledging Bearly Keeping it Together's (KH) lead, but statistically he's been out. If he reads this, he'll have something funny to say back, I'm sure of it.

12/26/23 5:44 PM Update

Hope everyone exited the weekend unscathed. RH and CC are in the drivers seat... currently.

12/23/23 12:04 AM Update

I didn't see the game, but my pick didn't win. We should start paying more attention to RH's picks.

12/21/23 10:59 PM Update

I guess we had our first team that decided they didn't want to be in their bowl game.

12/21/23 1:22 AM Update

I forgot to update after the UTSA game. I could post like I didn't, but who would that be for?

12/19/23 1:19 PM Update

I forgot to mention, depending on your browser situation, it sometimes makes more sense to view the scorecard by right clicking and opening the image in a new tab. The enlarging works better for me that way.

Initial Scoreboard - 12/16/23 5:29 PM

Hey um, Gridiron Gang, hold onto your helmets, because the bowl season opened today with nothing short of a rollercoaster ride through Touchdown Town! First up, j/k that's not the tone here. Check out the scoreboard below and keep coming back for updates. I'll send email updates periodically too.

click to enlarge

Contest Announcement - 12/11/23 8:56 AM

Pick'em Pundits,

As the cosmic dance of football fate beckons, let's embark on a journey through the enchanted realms of Pick'em Dash Football. In the mystical land of spreadsheets and pixelated pigskins, our choices become the magical spells that weave the tapestry of our gridiron destiny.

Behold the sacred oracle, Microsoft Excel, our chariot through the realms of numbers and cells. Mastering its arcane powers is like wielding the Excalibur of decision-making, ensuring you ride the majestic wave of victory. Why, you ask? For within the hallowed halls of Pick’em Dash Football, we face the annual gauntlet – a test of wit and wisdom designed by the upper management wizards.

You've honed your skills with Google's magic scrolls, marking your best bets like a wizard discerning the most potent potions. Now, as we stand at the precipice of the NCAA Bowl Contest, your confidence is your wand. Remember, dear sorcerer, all bowl picks are straight up – a duel of champions, winner takes all.

Trust your gut, and with the ferocity of a dragon, place 41 points on the Miami Redhawks in the Avocados From Mexico Cure Bowl. Then, repeat this arcane ritual 40 more times.

So, oh seekers of football fortune, prepare to dance under the moonlight of innovation. A new championship game rule shall be your guiding star, leading you through uncharted territories and unexplored strategies. Embrace the unknown, for within its mysterious folds lie the keys to unprecedented triumphs.

For the top three bowl pickers, they shall don their wizard robes once more and pick the championship game against the spread. Think medieval NASCAR-type playoff. Hold nothing in reserve and -- oh wielders of the magic wands -- more shall be revealed later.

The being that emerges with the most points shall be crowned the undisputed champion; no second-place sorcerers in this mystical arena. Be bold, be daring, let your confidence soar like a phoenix, slicing through the challenges with the precision of a ginsu knife.

P.S. Return this enchanted card before the hourglass empties on Saturday, 12/16, at 10:00 AM CT. Participation is the elixir of victory, and latecomers shall face penalties of the highest confidence points. Don't dally until Saturday morn – the wizards frown upon such tardiness!

P.P.S. Behold 'The Drill': Unleash your wizardry upon the attached card, in the sacred format of Excel. Select your team name from the mystical drop-down list, make your picks, and assign confidence numbers from 1 to 41. For the playoffs, do not hoard the bonus points. You cannot take them with you. Confirm the totals read '0' at the end – a final incantation of success. Email me your magical creation before the appointed hour on December 16th, 10:00 AM Central, at commish@pickem-football.com.

P-F23: Card and Scoreboard Links for the Year

2023-09-06T17:53:00.007-05:00

These will be updated throughout the year. Bookmark 'em.

CARDS:

NCAA Weekly Card: http://bit.ly/pf23-ncaa-card

NFL Weekly Card: http://bit.ly/pf23-nfl-card

SCOREBOARDS:

NCAA Scoreboard: http://bit.ly/pf23-ncaa-scores

NFL Scoreboard: http://bit.ly/pf23-nfl-scores

P-F23: Choosing Wisely - Finding Pathways You Actually Already Know About Because You Are Reading This

2023-08-14T16:20:00.006-05:00

This is a football pick’em contest. I know that, and you probably know that, but what if it was way more? Go straight to the registration page if you are more about picking winners than almost certainly probably changing your friggin life.

Here is Your Four-Part Plan to The Best Outcomes in Life

When digging up the courage to write this inspirational recruitment piece, I did what any of us would do given such an overwhelming task: I asked a chatbot. However instead of a four-part solution to making the best choices, she took me through an adventure down a well cleared path in a dense and mysterious forest. Almost immediately after embarking -- like after the first few trees on the edge of this dense forest -- a fork appeared. And just as it is always written, one path was well-trodden, bathed in warm sunlight, and adorned with vibrant flowers. The other path was -- and remember folks, I’m only a step inside the woods, and like, maybe just through some brush -- the other path was shrouded in shadows, with its twists and turns obscured by thick undergrowth.

We have all been here before. Am I right? Which one is the path least taken? Which is the one that leads into darkness, uncertainty, and potential danger? That is obviously the bad one. Without hesitation, you take the well-trodden path. It is the one bathed in warm sunlight and adorned with vibrant flowers every day and twice on Sundays. Let us remember that the choices we make not only reveal our character but also literally influence the path we tread and the outcomes we encounter. That sunny path sucked. It had no water or restrooms along the path. 0 stars. But here’s what I learned.

The Power of Mindful Decision-Making

Dear friends, imagine if our choices were like seeds we plant in the garden of our lives -- each seed, when sown thoughtfully, has the potential to grow into a beautiful and fruitful reality. In the context of decision-making, mindfulness invites us to pause, reflect, and truly comprehend the options before us. In the fast-paced game of football, it's easy to get swept away by the rushing running backs of life. We like backup quarterbacks in haste, and our decisions are driven by external wagers or fanatical emotions. But let's remember, hasty decisions often yield shallow results. Remember that 0-star dense forest trip? You get me.

Pick’em Dash Football is like a garden, a garden less traveled -commish

Embracing Responsibility and Accountability

Just as a coach takes responsibility to chart a gameplan, we too must call the plays of life with a sense of duty and ownership to our own win-loss record. And you guys, we’ve been taking a lot of L’s lately. Our choices, like pebbles dropped into a pond of forks in roads, create ripples. Lots of turbulent ripples actually. Put another way, at first you just got out Whataburgered, and next thing you know your choices are affecting the ones around you. It is essential to recognize the weight of your ripple making.

Make a splash -commish

Are you questioning things? Good. Are you lost? Click the registration link and recognize accountability isn’t a burden.

Registering for Pick’em Dash Football is a pathway to growth and restoration. I meant accountability is a pathway to mindful blah blah you get it. Just as a seed buried in the earth transforms into a mighty tree, playing Pickem Dash Football, joining the journey to improving our choices, and creating a stronger connection to the 2023 football season can lead to a life rich with the best outcomes.

Navigating Challenges and Adversities

If you don’t see the connection, you just haven’t looked close enough -commish

Just as weightlifting strengthens our physical bodies, picking football games strengthens our mental resilience. We’ll workout the entire football season, which should leave you with just enough good decision-making equity for you to make it to the next fall season.

Game 1: NCAA Pick’em (played against the spread)

15 games per week
Games will list and point spread for you to pick against
Contest represents approximately 1/3 of the registration pot; Both 1st and 2nd place winners will get something

Game #2: NFL Pick’em (played straight up, i.e. no spread)

All NFL games (14-16) per week
Contest represents approximately 1/3 of the registration pot; 1st and 2nd place winners will get something

Game #3: NCAA Bowl Challenge (played confidence style)

All the bowls (41? I've lost count)
Picks are straight up (no spread)
Contest represents approximately 50% of 33% of the pot (uh you do the math); 1st place winner only

Game #4: NFL Playoff Challenge (played against the spread, you bet with points Vegas-style)

All the playoff games (11)
Picks week-to-week; points are cumulative
Contest represents approximately 50% of 33% of the pot; 1st place winner only

The donation for the games is $25, and all that is distributed back out as detailed above.

Each of these contests has been designed to build perseverance, character, and hope. These pick’em challenges, they are steppingstones toward greater character and stuff. As we journey through the Pick’em Dash Football 2023 season, let us remember that the picks we make today shape the outcomes of our pick’em score tomorrow. Hut, hut, and hike, you guys.

Mention you made it to the bottom of this post in the "Top 3 Things" section of the registration link for 3 bonus points.