P.I.C's FanFic Corner

Mrs. Peacock gives us something new with I Thought I Loved You Then by Kyla713!

2012-02-17T13:16:00.000-05:00

\Who doesn't love a little Brad Paisley? I mean really, the man can sing, and even though I'm no country fan, I adore his love song Then. It's so damn romantic... Sharing your life with someone who you just find yourself falling more and more in love with as time progresses.

And I Thought I Loved You Then, inspired by the lyrics of the song, is the same. Damn romantic. It's short, sweet, and complete. Ooh, that rhymed. I could write songs too! kyla713 weaves an amazingly sweet story of true and real love that doesn't always sail smoothly, but always finds calm seas.

Edward is seemingly hopeless with women, dedicated to school and very inexperienced with women (I'm a sucker for a nearly-Virginward). Bella is more experienced... thrice experienced!... but she is drawn to Edward just as he is drawn to her, and makes the first move. They begin a whirlwind romance, and when Edward is accepted to Harvard, Bella makes the move to Cambridge with him.

"Edward, it's not that big of a deal. I was planning on going for my Master's anyway after this, and worst-case scenario, I take a semester off. I have more than one option here, baby," Bella said one night as we lounged on the couch together, her body nestled between my legs as she lay back against my chest. "But being that far away from you is not one of them."

"I don't want to be away from you, either, Bella. But I can't expect you to give everything up for me. That's just not realistic," I replied with my face resting against her hair.

"It's not like Washington is the only place I can get my Master's. I can even do it online, if I really need to. I'm not giving anything up," she argued, tilting her head up to look at me.

"Your father and step-mother?"

"My mother in Phoenix," she countered my logic with a quirked eyebrow. "I'm a big girl. I don't need Mom or Dad around to take care of me, but I do need you. I'm not giving you up."

As the story progresses, so does their relationship, and it's lovely to read. There's not a lot of angst, but I think we all need to acknowledge that most love stories don't usually carry a lot of ridiculous, heavy angst. There are fights, there are conflicts, but in true love, always a happy ending.

Bella was going to be my wife. We were going to have our beautiful life, I looked forward to watching her grow round with each of our three kids, and maybe we'd even get a dog. And in that moment, once again, I didn't think it was possible to love her more than I did right then.

But I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time.

And now I have to go play Then on repeat and pine away for the man who will love me more and more... A girl can hope, right? Bella's one lucky girl, she always seems to find her man. ;-)

Mean Mrs. Mustard gives you some String Theory by theladyingrey42!

2011-12-12T10:46:00.000-05:00

Lately I haven’t been reading much, besides a text book entitled Biology, and I can’t wait until this week is over when I take my last bio exam EVER! However, I did sneak in a new fic one late night. String Theory by theladyingrey42 has been giving me reprieve from school and work these past couple of weeks.

Bella and Edward are both physicists working in the same department, on their thesis, for the past two years. The only problem…they have never spoken to each other. Edward admires Bella from afar until one day he decides he will man-up and talk to her, during a usual coffee break time.

My shoulders slump the minute I make it to the break room. It's empty. I'm late. And considering it's Friday, all my resolve is wasted; I'll never find the nerve again come Monday. I'll just be the same old me again, pathetically stalking a girl who doesn't even know I exist, making lists of facts that carry nothing of her substance. Incapable of just fucking talking to her. Like usual.

As I stand there, feeling like an idiot, another weekend spent working and hiding behind my computer screen spreads out before me. It's how I've always preferred things, honestly. But sometimes – times like now – I can't help but admit that it's lonely.

And it's not as if it looks good from the outside.

Maybe it's just as well I've never talked to her. She'd probably pity me.

I sigh and lean against the doorjamb for a minute. I should probably slink back to my office, but after all my bravado, the idea of facing Jasper and Emmett again chafes too much.

Sucking in a deep breath, I ready myself to do so anyway when something slams against my back. I stumble forward, reaching out blindly to try to catch my balance, and I curse out loud.

But my curse isn't the only one.

"Oh, shit. Sorry!"

I know that voice.

A touch lingers against the base of my spine for the smallest fraction of a second, and I feel it everywhere. Her touch.

With my heart in my throat, my head swimming, I turn to find only pale skin and deep brown eyes. Rose lips.

Today's the day, a voice reminds me. Today's the day.

It must be.

And as it turns out, I didn't even have to do anything.

Bella Swan just talked to me.

This is a kind of nerdy Edward and Bella. It is cute. Bella has a thing for The Muppets, but so far, The Muppets are central to the story, since it is what gets Edward to ask Bella on a first “date.” Oh, and Charlie, Bella’s dad, accompanies them on said “date.”

String Theory is in Edward’s POV, a work in progress, and the chapters are short. I love that theladyingrey42 updates a couple times during the week, and this is a great fic to read when you need a small break from real life. Go check it out! Find out how Edward got Bella to agree to a “date.” A bonus to this story is that some chapters have physic lessons/vocabulary in the author’s notes that are interesting, like this… “M-theory is also a great way to fuck with the mind of any kid who says he or she wants to be a scientist someday.” –theladyingrey42

Go. Read. Enjoy!

Mrs. White Finds Out How Blessed Are the Forgetful with orrington.rose!

2011-12-02T17:54:00.006-05:00

It’s no secret…I love angst. With a passion. Almost as much as I love my RobPorn collection. I know, shocking, right? Yes, well, it’s true. You know what else I love? Good stories and authors who aren’t afraid to take risks. Lucky for you, I found something right up my alley. I think you’ll love it. Though be warned, the author gives no promise of a HEA with this baby. That almost makes me love her and the story even more!

Blessed Are the Forgetful is a beautifully crafted story by orrington.rose. It’s the story of a depressed, saddened, struggling Bella, quickly crumbling under the weight of her past relationship. This Bella isn’t perfect. She isn’t the smartest girl, the prettiest girl, the most coordinated girl, not even the most socially acceptable girl. She’s a girl with quirks, with issues, with annoying tendencies. In other words, she’s real. That’s one thing I love about the story. But trust me, there are so many more reasons.

We quickly learn that Bella is trying to get past a rather fast and fleeting relationship with Edward Cullen. We don't know a lot about Edward, other than he cares for Bella, but maybe never wanted anything more than a few moments with her. Bella happens upon a clinic and doctor who claim to be able to erase someone's memories. After a somewhat heartbreaking phone call from Edward, Bella makes a choice that will hopefully save her sanity, as well as her life.

Will we ever find out what really happened between Bella and Edward? Will Edward ever reveal his true feelings and intentions toward Bella? Will all the mind erasing really work on Bella? And seriously, what is up with married Doctor Jasper and his Emmett dating receptionist, Alice?

I was captivated by this story from the very beginning. The way orrington.rose writes is simply incredible. She twists her words into sentences and paragraphs that are poetic, and raw, and honest. They're beautiful, there's just no other way to say it. And to find out that not only is she an amazing writer, but she has also written some of the songs featured on her blog for this story? Way too much talent there in that one body. It's not fair.

Jealousy aside, I can't wait to find out what orrington.rose does with this story. Each chapter is more heartbreaking than the last, and I can't help feel sad for Bella and all the things she's losing, just in an attempt to gain some small bit of her life back. She's stuck between a rock and a hard place - needing to let go of the memories, but struggling to keep reliving them each day. Maybe Stephenie Meyer's Bella knew this feeling, too, when she said in New Moon, "Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. It was a hard line to walk."

And yet we should be grateful that orrington.rose walks it so well.

*****

It's when I write his name over and over in the fog of my own breath that I know something has to be done.

Edward. Edward. Edward.

Missing him is killing me.

I think about him as they call out "forty-fifth and division." I think about that one time we watched the parade. How did they get the Elephants between the parking-meters, we wondered.

When the homeless man scratches his crotch I remember that time I brought him to McDonalds.

I never would have thought Edward would feed me french fries like they were caviar.

I never would have guessed Edward would kiss the ketchup from my lips and whisper I look adorable.

On the window the fog fades and with it his name begins to disappear.

Edwa-

It's funny even now, even seeing his name, a little part of me springs from sleep, searches for him. Does he still feel that way about me?

The fog evaporates into the stuffy-cold air of the bus.

His name-gone.

I wish his name was gone from my head, too. I just want the pain to be over. It's such a basic thought, but pain does that, simplifies things.

*****

Mrs White: How did you get started in fan fic?

orrington.rose: I started reading Labryinth fanfiction, when I was about fifteen, and after that I was addicted for life. However, I just started writing recently.

MW: What’s the first story you read?

or: I don’t even remember.

MW: What’s your favorite fan fic story and why?

or: I’m going to assume you mean Twilight fanfic. Which is hard. I actually don’t read that much twi-fic, does that make me horrible person? But I’d have to say Introduction to Swirl and Daisy. It’s by far and away my favorite twi-fic.

That said:
If you know anything about Hunger Games, or even if you don’t, you must must must read anything written by Aimmyarrowshigh. She is, in my opinion, the best fanfic writer out there.

MW: How did you come up with the idea for your story/stories?

or: I’m a crossover wh00r. I like to mix and match fandoms, because I think a good fanfic is like a good drink, the more flavors the better. I’ve always had the idea for BATF running around my brain, and finally got to writing it. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is one of my favorite movies.

For The Morphing Games, I visited the Stassi prison and took a class on the Cold War while I was in Berlin and was really inspired by that. Also, The Hunger Games is some of the most compelling fiction I’ve read in my life.

MW: Who is your favorite character to write?

or: Currently it’s Esme, in The Morphing Games. She’s about the only kind and gentle character I’ve written. Writing BATF is hard, or rather was (it’s all pre-written). And I feel compelled to write it, but it’s not an easy pleasure. That said I like writing Jasper (Dr. Whitlock) in that, too.

MW: How did you meet and get your beta?

or: Well, I don’t have a Beta for BATF (although I really really should). But for the Morphing Games, I have the wonderful Her Mighty Ubergeekness and Someone AkA Me. They are both fantastic betas and hilarious people. Never has grammar been so fun.

MW: How does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?

or: Unworthy.

MW: Which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?

or: Twilight, by far and away. Breaking Dawn is so silly. All of Twilight is, but I love it anyway.

MW: If you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?

or: Write what you know. Write about things you understand, and always bring yourself to your writing.

MW: What is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?

or: I love how fanfic creates its own universe. There is so much fic that I like BETTER than the original books/movies, it’s incredible. As for the Twilight fandom it’s so fricken active and loving.

MW: What is your favorite ALMOST curse word?

or: Mother Pheasant Plucker.

MW: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

or: “I told you it would be alright.”

Randomness with Mrs. White

MW: If you were in a beauty pageant, what would your talent be?

or: Singing.
Fun fact, I’m actually studying to be an opera singer.

MW: What’s your favorite drink?

or: Sake! So good!

MW: If you could make smexy times with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?

or: The Morphing Games Edward, he seems like he’d be very--erm--forceful.

MW: What color are your bedroom walls?

or: White. (college dorm)

MW: Which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?

or: Belle.
Brown hair.
Book worm.
Also I too randomly break out into French song.

MW: Do you ever use any people from real life in your stories? If so, who and how did you choose them?

or: I use bits and pieces of people, probably more than I should, frankly. But as I said, write what you know. That’s the best way to make real characters with real emotions.

MW: What is your favorite kind of car?

or: I would like to own a Lexus.

MW: Do you listen to music while you write? Does music inspire your stories in any way?

or: Oh yeah!
For The Morphing Games I listen to a lot of soundtrack music particularily GATTACA and The Road to Perdition as well as 20th century atonal stuff like Stravinsky, Berg and Steve Reich.

For Blessed are the Forgetful, I listen to Florence and the Machine, Simon and Garfunkle, and Radiohead. I also composed my own peices for BATF. My favorite one is called Old Man’s Lullaby, you can listen to it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUnkxWQatrI&NR=1

MW: Who is your favorite actor/actress?

or: Anthony Hopkins. (is it wrong to have a crush on him?)
Meryl Streep

MW: If you could be any other person in the world, who would you be and why?

or: Renee Fleming, because she’s super rich and sings everywhere and people pay her.

MW: Who is your celebrity crush?

or: David Bowie, I mean his pants in Labryinth?! Please. Sexual awakening right there.

MW: What’s your favorite item on a relish/vegetable tray?

or: Veggies? I suppose Eggplant.

MW: Have you ever played football?

or: No.

MW: How did you choose your pen name/username?

or: It’s my stripper name. I mean my stage name, my first name + the name of the street I grew up on.

MW: What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

or: Crem Brulee! Or Mint Chocolate Chip.

The Partner's Present...Thankful Week!! Mrs. White Gives Thanks for ItzMegan73!!

2011-11-26T13:21:00.006-05:00

Thanksgiving… Let’s just say it’s not my favorite holiday, and leave it at that. Seriously, since when should I be happy about having to cook a meal large enough to feed my army of children? And Black Friday shopping? Really? Because I want to buy them more stuff? I suppose I could always stop by Victoria’s Secret when I’m at the mall…or that little adult shop next door that I have a frequent buyer’s card for. A girl can never have too many corsets and hooker heels, you know.

Well, anyway, aside from my lack of thanks for the holiday, I was graced with one thing I can be thankful for this year. So, you know how some people have that little Freebie List? The one that names the five people their spouse would willingly let them have sex with, if they got the chance? Well, I don’t need one of those, I mean it would only have one name on it, and I’m pretty sure he’s shacked up in a London apartment with his little girlfriend, at the moment. I’m not bitter… I mean, if he likes that kind of thing...tennis shoes, short skirts, sparkling green eyes, clear as can be peach and cream complexions, dimples over her perfectly round tushie… Yeah, I can’t really say I blame him. *hee-hee*

Anyway, back to what I was saying. So, I don’t have a Freebie List. Instead, I have an Author’s I WANT list. I’m a very lucky girl, I’ve gotten all of the ones at the top. Well, all except for one. And she’s one of my FAVORITES! She’s one that I always run to read updates for. One that I squee each time I see tweets from her on my Twitter. One that I about passed out over when she actually replied to a few chapter reviews I had left for her. And I can honestly say, I don’t think I’m the only one that feels this way about her.

ItzMegan73. You know her, you know her stories, and you know you wish you were me this week. She’s such a talented writer, transfixing and bewitching readers with her beautiful and heartfelt stories. The one thing that keeps me hooked on them is how real they are. It’s no secret that I like stories that could really happen, stories that I could step into and live. Hence, the whole no vampire story reading thing. ItzMegan73’s stories are so honest and realistic, I can’t stay away. And it doesn’t hurt that she writes AMAZING Edward’s. Even when they are flawed and broken and completely out of their element, you can’t help but fall in love with them. I know I couldn’t. I can honestly say that her stories are at the top of my Top 10 FanFic’s Ever List.

I know most people name A Rough Start as their favorite ItzMegan73 story, but not me. While I LOVE it, and The Cannabean Betrothal, my heart belongs to another. The Tutor. Oh my goodness, it’s everything I love about a good story, plus it has my favorite kind of Edward! He’s in high school, he’s rough, he’s messed up, he curses more than he should, he’s got a temper, he’s a bit of a man whore, and he needs help. Ugh…I love that. *giggle* The way ItzMegan73 writes him, the vulnerability that she gives him, is astounding and mesmerizing. I fell completely in love with him as I read the story, and with his image in mind, I moved on to her other stories, falling in love with those Edward’s, too. Trust me when I say…they are well worth the read. You won’t be sorry…

So with that said, and her newest story already in the works and serving as incentive for me to get my own writing done, I’m excited to pass along my interview with the lady herself. And, just to prove what an amazing person she is, she answered all of my questions, and those of readers, this week…even though this week is her wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving, AND her birthday!! Talk about wonderful… I’m even more in awe of her after this. If I ever had a girl crush, other than the obvious KStew one (and that might just be more jealousy over her man), then ItzMegan73 would most definitely be at the top of my list. She’s incredible, and absolutely something to be thankful for.

Mrs. White: How did you get started in fan fic?

ItzMegan73: Reading - I just didn’t feel done with the characters after Breaking Dawn; I wanted more. I knew of fan fic for other fandoms and checked to see if it existed for Twilight. Lo’ and behold, it did!

Writing - I was always searching for this certain type of story that I wanted to read and I couldn’t find it, so I wrote it (The Tutor). When people didn’t throw rotten tomatoes at me a la the internet, I kept going.

MW: What’s the first story you read?

IM: Now I can’t remember, but I know it was on Twilighted.

MW: What’s your favorite fan fic story and why?

IM: The Mirrors. There are no words. It’s amazing. Totally Alternate Universe though.

MW: How did you come up with the idea for your story/stories?

IM: They just literally pop into my head.

MW: Who is your favorite character to write?

IM: It depends on the story. Bella is easiest because she’s a woman, and so am I, but I love writing a deviant Edward, too...

MW: How does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?

IM: Unworthy and grateful.

MW: Which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?

IM: Twilight, the book is my favorite. My opinion on Breaking Dawn? Would have been better if there was no Jacob.

MW: If you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?

IM: Use your favorite story as inspiration, not as material.

MW: What is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?

IM: When at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. There are a ton of stories out there and if you don’t like one, you can try another!

MW: What is your favorite ALMOST curse word?

IM: Mother-freakin’.

MW: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

IM: Well done, my good and faithful servant.

Randomness with Mrs. White

MW: If you were in a beauty pageant, what would your talent be?

IM: Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.

MW: What’s your favorite drink?

IM: Vanilla Chai Tea w/soy.

MW: If you could make smexy times with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?

IM: ARS Edward. He knows what he’s doing.

MW: What color are your bedroom walls?

IM: Light mocha.

MW: Which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?

IM: Oh dear...

MW: Do you ever use any people from real life in your stories? If so, who and how did you choose them?

IM: Not yet, but I may in the near future.

MW: What is your favorite kind of car?

IM: Luxury sedans.

MW: Do you listen to music while you write? Does music inspire your stories in any way?

IM: No. I can’t write and listen to music at the same time. Don’t know why.

MW: Who is your favorite actor/actress?

IM: I have many. Patrick Fugit, Jena Malone, Sally Field, Edward Norton.

MW: If you could be any other person in the world, who would you be and why?

IM: Princess Alexandra of Hanover. She’s young, heir to a fortune, and nobody really knows who she is.

MW: Who is your celebrity crush?

IM: Make me state the obvious, why don’t you?

MW: What’s your favorite item on a relish/vegetable tray?

IM: Yuck!

MW: Have you ever played football?

IM: Nope.

MW: How did you choose your pen name/username?

IM: I knew it wouldn’t forget my own name.

MW: What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

IM: Pumpkin; Gold Medal Ribbon.

And Some Reader Questions...

Jedigirl Sc: I LOVE Itz Megan Will there be any outtakes from the Tutor? :)

IM: Other than the three outtakes that are already posted? I don’t think so. Maybe.

tj123001: When is her next story coming out :) :) Need more!

IM: Well, ID is going strong. I’m almost ready to post the first chapter of Deck the Halls.

Lynn Harada Galloway: I know that she wrote a future take in her Rough Start epilogue, but, will she turn it in to a sequel....♥ that story!

IM: I hadn’t even thought about that!

Rose Masen Cullen: She writes the most realistic stuff ever. She's my idol :-)

I want to know what inspired her to write A Rough Start?

IM: That story was vivid in my head. I don’t know any other way to explain it. I had a five year old at the time who was crazy about his dad (my husband) and I just couldn’t imagine what it would have been like for him not to know his dad. Only I did imagine it, and the story was born!

Rose Masen Cullen: Where every other author writes Edwards that are so fantastical and unbelievable (even in AH stories - think Domward, Doucheward, Celebrityward, CEOward and whatnot), she wrote an Edward who was so grounded, so believable, so working class and REAL, yet extraordinary.

Why did she make that choice and what challenges did she face? :-)

IM: Bella was really the only challenging character in that story - how to make her come off without seeming like a Pollyanna.

Lynn Harada Galloway: I agree with Rose....A Rough Start's sexy BlueCollarward is one of the most believable in Twi-FF world. I also want to know about her inspiration for The Cannabean Betrothal!

IM: TCB is a twist on the restrictions Edward and Bella faced in Twilight (vamp/human restrictions). Religion and wealth are a few of the things in life that restrict us in almost the same way.

Luxure: I'd simply love to know where she draws inspiration from, considering she creates such wonderful stories with the Twilight characters. :)

IM: I’m always conjuring up “what-if” scenarios in my mind and I flush them out into stories.

Thanks so much, ItzMegan73!!

Oh, one more thing...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Happy Birthday to Our Fearless Leader!!!

2011-11-25T13:18:00.008-05:00

Happy Birthday Nikki!!!

We all want you to know how much we love you and how grateful we are to know you. You're an amazing woman and we hope you have the best birthday ever!!!

My dearest Nikki,

I wish I would have had more time to do something fancy for this birthday post, but I was knees deep in wrapping paper and tape. ;-) I truly hope you have a wonderful birthday. You deserve nothing less.

Your husband, your wife, your friend,

Mari

It's birthday time for you this year
we love you and think you're something dear
We hope you have an awesome day
and that everything will go your way
You're one of a kind, we hope you know
if only we could send you Kellan in a bow
Or even Rupert, 'cause you think he's hot
we'll work on next year's kidnapping plot
But until that time, we hope this will do
Happy Birthday, Our Nikki!!! We Love You!!!

beegurl13 & Mrs.Robward

The Partner's Present...Thankful Week!! Mean Mrs. Mustard Give Thanks for ericastwilight!!

2011-11-23T10:05:00.008-05:00

Welcome to “Thankful Week,” here on PIC. I can’t believe Turkey Day is upon us (And this is the only Turkey Day, I don’t care what those cray-cray Canadians say)!

This year I feel like there are many more things that I am thankful for than in the past. I am thankful for a great, healthy family, a job that I actually like most of the time, a roof over my head, RobPorn, my new iPhone, and fan fiction. I don’t think that I can ever leave out fan fiction because I have met so many friends through it and it kind of changed my life, for the better.

This year, I’d like to show my thankfulness for ericastwilight, one of my favorite authors in the fandom. I am not going to give you are particular story of Erica’s to read this week, but know that I love reading all of her works. I will give you my top three favorites, in no order: My Girl in the Pink Pajamas, Subject: Edward Cullen, aka The Womanizer, and PS Love Always. The thing that I love most about ericastwilight is that she is a consistent writer. I am never disappointed in something new she puts out. It also doesn’t hurt that she writes Edward and Bella fluffiness, most of the time.

I am most thankful that ericastwilight agreed to do an interview with me…

Welcome to PIC FanFic Corner, Erica!

MMM: How long have you been reading fan fiction?
ericastwilight: I've been reading fan fiction for close to five years now.

MMM: Do you remember the first story you read?
ericastwilight: There was an unfinished fic called Forgive Me For I Have Sinned but it’s been taken down and of course, Wide Awake that's still around.

MMM: *sighs* Wide Awake. What made you start writing?

ericastwilight: I only started writing to get all the plot bunnies from completely overwhelming me. After reading all the fic and the books, ideas poured out and I needed a way to get it out. Someone suggested I give it a try.

MMM: What was the first story you wrote?
ericastwilight: As in ever? I actually wrote a short 25k story about a young girl in a magic school for witches in high school, LOL. But as in fanfic, that would be This Life, which is no longer available.

MMM: You currently have 50 stories posted. How do you find time to write so much?
ericastwilight: It’s an illusion, my dear. I have no time, which is probably why I have so many stories. I lack focus, but I'm getting better and managing that and my time so that I could complete more stories.

MMM: Do you like to write with music on or do you like silence?
ericastwilight: There are some scenes that require total silence, like one I just wrote for My Wish for an upcoming chapter. I had to have everyone leave the house so I could write it; otherwise the music is on and loud.

MMM: Do you read quite a bit? Fanfic or books? If so, what is it?
ericastwilight: I read a lot. I average a book a day. Mostly books, erotica, historical and western historical seem to be my thing. Lately I have been reading a lot of paranormal/mystery books.

MMM: With the release of Breaking Dawn Part One, do you think that Twilight fanfic is going to dwindle?
ericastwilight: I don't see the fandom dying yet, only because there seems to be more and more people turning toward fanfic to get another hit of the characters. Perhaps in another 18 months or so it might be different.

MMM: I am going to give you a list of words. Tell me the first thing that comes to mind.

Banana - how to put on a condom
Paint - his favorite scuffed up jeans with white splatters, giggling young wife flicking the brush at him as they paint their first home

MMM: I feel like an o/s could come of that…

Tree - tire swing
Morning - sex
Blue - the pale blue color of her lips frightened me, I gasped, "No! No...Baby...baby, come back to me."

MMM: Edward saying “Baby, come back to me,” is a real heart clencher in Breaking Dawn.

Cake - messy kitchen
Secret - Adam Levine of Maroon 5 in the picture of some woman grabbing his crotch.

MMM: That man, and that song, can do things to me…

Thank you, again, to ericastwilight! I am still gigging and smiling like a fan-girl.

Be sure to check out one of her many stories! There is something for everyone!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

The Partner's Present... Thankful Week!! Miss Scarlet gives precious thanks.

2011-11-22T17:10:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Thankful Week on PIC! Yes, it's that time again where us in the U.S are getting ready to celebrate that wonderful day where families get together, eat some good food and give thanks to the things in our lives. Well, this fandom is like a family, isn't it? I consider a lot of these women my sisters.

So we're here to give thanks to some of the people and things in this Twilight fandom we hold dear to our hearts.

First, I'm thankful for Tilly Whitlock. She has been one of my very first supporters and friends in this fandom. She has been there from the beginning and showed me that there was more to twilight than Edward and Bella. And as one of the originators here, I thank her and her stories.

Next would have to be Coldplaywhore and Flightlessbird11. These two were probably the first author's that I have fangirled over. Their writing together (MIFFY) was amazing but separately they are equally amazing. So thank you to them for making me realize that there was quality writing out there in fanfiction land.

A few stories that I'm not only thankful but grateful for are Wide Awake, for changing the game on all human angst fics. Emancipation Proclamation, for being that fic that I had to stay up till 3 in the morning to read. Bittersweet Symphony, for being that sexy and smutty but funny fic that gave me chills when Edward just kissed Bella. The Ex Factor, for being my first daddyward fic.

I am most thankful for one of my best friends and who also happens to be my beta AND an amazing fic writer, Maitressesaint. There are no words to describe what she means to me. She is not only a wonderful person but a great friend too. Her words of encouragement is never ending. Without her I would have probably left the fandom long long ago. And her plot bunnies... forget about it! They are so good. That's enough gushing.

And last but not least, I'm thankful for ALL of the PIC's. Each and everyone one of them that have come through this door and on this ride with me. Having faith and just having fun in what we do. So.... Thank You.

Guest Reviewer kitkat681 Awaken's with Edward's Eternal!

2011-11-17T10:02:00.004-05:00

Today, as we all get ready for the wonders known as the Breaking Dawn love scenes, we're graced with something amazing from our guest reviewer kitkat681.

Enjoy!!

When I got a review for my story ‘The Cottage’ from a reader who offered her beta services, I never imagined that I would find a true friend. Edward’s Eternal is a ‘beta to the stars,’ working with such talents as Sheviking, Windchymes, Raingirl and AydenMorgan. And when she kiddingly joked about writing her own piece, we all encouraged her.

Her first story, ‘Simply Coffee’ is a touching drabble about a young girl’s pain and struggle and the strong man who stands behind her through it all. She was nervous when she started her second piece, because this new little plot bunny was different, more intense and deeper. And boy, am I ever glad she stuck with it.

~oOo~

Dawn was breaking.

I could sense the world waking up all around me. The quiet sounds of the night were becoming even more muted, as small creatures stirred in the warmth of the awakening sun.

Sitting alone in the early hours of the day, I listened intently to the different sounds as night gave way to light. The crickets stopped their chirping. The birds began their songs. The night owl ceased his hooting, while many small winged creatures took to flight in the gathering light.

They all began another busy, productive day in their useful lives.

With a deep sigh, I stood up. It was time, once again, to start my day. Another empty meaningless day just like yesterday. Going through the motions, smiling when I should, answering the same mundane questions when asked, and wishing for the whole fucking thing to be done so I could, once again, be alone.

Alone.

So I didn't have to pretend. I could just be.

I was tired of pretending.

I was just fucking tired.

~oOo~

‘Awaken’ is a look inside the life of Edward Masen, pianist and composer whose true self is hidden behind a wall of sarcasm and evasion. While he has his security head, Emmett and his manager, Carlisle at his side, it is easy to see that he is really very alone. His pain is palpable and it only takes a few chapters to make you want to just take him home and make it all better, which is exactly what our little spitfire Bella Swan does.

~oOo~

"Would you… I mean if you were okay with it… I would be happy to cook us dinner. At my place. Nobody will bother you there. I'm not a fancy cook, but I can make…stuff… if you want," her voice trailing off uncertainly.

Cook. She offered to cook me dinner. At her house. So I would be allowed my privacy.

I shook my head not quite sure how to respond to her offer. She immediately misinterpreted this as a rejection.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I was being silly. Of course you don't want dinner at my kitchen table. I understand. I was just…"

I held up my hand to stop her from continuing. "Bella, no. You weren't being silly." I assured her. "I was just surprised at your offer. You'd be okay with that? Having me to your home for dinner? Really?"

She stepped forward and laid a hand on my forearm. Again without any thought, I reached over with my opposite hand and covered her smaller one.

"Absolutely."

I felt a rush of warmth at her simple assurance.

"Well then, I accept your gracious offer. A home cooked meal would be most appreciated. I'm not sure how well this has worked out for you though. How my wanting to take you out ended up with you having to do all the work; it doesn't seem proper," I mused.

"It's not exactly a hardship to make a meal for two people Edward. You can bring some wine if you like and I will take care of the rest if that's okay?"

I couldn't explain or stop the wide smile I felt on my face, or the feeling that was growing in my chest. It felt like an emotion I hadn't experienced in years...happiness.

"Definitely ok, Bella. Definitely ok."

~oOo~

Their relationship had been cruising right along until the latest chapter posted, and now we are left begging and pleading for the next chapter. Well…you are. I already have it. *wink*

When I asked her (well when she demanded) about the ladies behind her, this is what she wrote, and I was threatened under penalty of death not to edit out her answers.

*******

Ah, my lovely ladies. Allow me to wax on for a moment please. This fic I have 4 people. The lovely Windchymes is still with me. She takes my jumbled words and tenderly irons them out into readable pretty passages. And patiently explains to me again and again the importance of descriptions as I tend to get caught up in the dialogue. I call her my Evolver.

Cejsmom and I met on facebook and she prereads and encourages me daily. She also talks about my story a lot which helps new readers find me. We often chat late into the night- she never sleeps being part vampire.

Midnight Cougar and I met just after ‘Simply Coffee’ finished. We quickly recognized each other as kindred spirits and soon she became my beta. She points out my many many grammar errors fixes them and we talk daily about the reviews, upcoming chapters and ideas. She is my darling friend and another huge supporter. I am blessed to have found her. She makes me better.

And my Kitkat. Sigh. We met months ago, I became her beta, she became my dear friend. She holds my hand when I freak out, which is often. She laughs with me, supports me, yells at me when needed and is without a doubt my biggest fan. Every time I doubt myself she is there cheering me on. She prereads and makes me incredible banners. She is my heart. And I could not go without adding one more thing.

If Sheviking had not nattered at me, dropped hints, and put notes in her A/N’s I would never have attempted to write anything at all. Her support means the world to me. Even though we are, continents apart, in my heart we are right beside each other. All of these lovely ladies are adored by me. Totally. And many others that talk about my stories and pimp me out on facebook and in groups? I am forever in their debt.

Umm.. ok .. steps off soapbox now…

*******

Ha! So as you can see she is not only incredibly modest…she is sweet and generous to boot. When I asked her if she had to choose between writing and betaing she said she would always, always choose to beta…

I am rather… a sensitive beast so I take things very personally. As my ladies know a nasty review can make me cry. And question myself. A lot. I often read the reviews of my authors and if there is something negative I jump on it and respond defending them. But when it is directed at me? Not so much.

While Edward is so perfectly portrayed in ‘Awaken’, both my heart and Edward’s Eternal belongs to Carlisle. He is snarky and sarcastic but under that bravado it is easy to see how much he truly loves Edward.

Antagonists and challenges are following them at every turn, but I am sure that true love will win out.

There are two more little fluffy plot bunnies running around in her head, so I know we will be blessed with those amazing stories soon.

So…in closing…if you are not reading ‘Awaken’…what the hell is wrong with you??

Throwback Thursday with Mr. Boody and a War of the Roses!

2011-11-10T11:35:00.004-05:00

You feel the need for some good angst this week? Never fear, we're stepping back to September 2010 with Mr. Boody when he brought us the angst fest that is War of the Roses!!

Good morning, afternoon, or evening all. We hope you will stick with us for what I’m sure will be a fun filled week here at P.I.C!

For the last two months I have been hearing about the story I’m going to recommend to you today – War of the Roses by Edwardandbellabelong2gether. At first I was reluctant to read because the summary states: What do you do when you find out the one person who should never betray you...has? When Edward & Bella have trouble conceiving and he turns to someone else for comfort...will she ever be able to forgive him? AH Canon couples.

Now, I read that as… Bella tries to get pregnant and since it doesn’t happen Edward turns to someone else; which isn’t the case. Yes, Edward does turn to someone else, but not for the reasons you would presume.

It may sound like the story is condoning an affair, but that isn’t the case. In fact, I’m fairly certain that this will be one story where you will absolutely loathe Edward Cullen.

We both stood at the same time. "That's enough Bella! Stop pretending that you are the only wounded party here! You pushed me away a while ago! All you fucking cared about was getting pregnant!"

"Yes, I wanted to get pregnant…with my devoted husband who I thought loved me! Boy was I an idiot! I certainly learned my lesson!" She screeched.

"Yeah you are an idiot! You're an idiot who ignored me and pushed me away until I had no choice but to seek some comfort and physical affection from someone who actually wanted me because I made her feel good and not just because I could get her pregnant! She didn't make me feel like a used baby-making machine!

Arg! Cheaters… they always have an excuse. Edward sticks to his guns through the story. He seems to truly believe that his actions were justified because his wife neglected him during the time they were trying to conceive. Bella, however, isn’t much better. She refuses to listen, and I can’t say I blame her, but she doesn’t take the time to listen and see his side.

Edward’s actions don’t only cause an uproar in his own home, but with the rest of the Cullens as well. Similar to Twilight, Alice is with Jasper, Rosalie with Emmett, and Esme with Carlisle, who of course play Edward’s parents. Edward and Bella’s split causes plenty of drama, heartache, and many truths to be told.

"We are not going to tell her Alice!"

"She has a right to know Rose!"

"Why would you want to hurt her like that? No good can come of her finding out that Lauren was at the house when I went over there!"

"I have a feeling she is going to want to take him back, Rosalie. I don't want to see him hurt her again! The fact that my idiot brother could be so callous as to have that skank in their home…at all…let alone this soon after everything being found out…it makes me sick! I won't let him hurt her again…brother or not!"

There are so many twists in this story that you would think it would be hard to keep up, but the simplicity of easy flow of the chapters makes it exceptionally easy. While Bella is going through her the motions of dealing with what her husband has done, she gets a call that leads her to Forks. For me, this is where the real story begins because so much happens.

"I could just holler for you to come get the medicine Bells when he gets here. You don't have to see him if you don't want to."

"I want to…we need to talk."

Charlie shook his head. "Please don't make this easy for him honey. You deserve better than some cocky, arrogant, good for nothing son of a bitch who is going to sleep around on you. I want better for my girl."

I walked over and kissed him on top of his head. "Thanks, Daddy. I'm still getting a divorce. I wanted to talk to him about that. He only showed up because he heard Riley's voice last night and got insanely jealous. You know how he is."

He chuckled at that, "Serves him right."

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" I said.

"Sure honey…but if he upsets you, I'm getting my gun," he said without blinking an eye.

There are characters in this story that you wouldn’t expect. Storylines waiting to be told and surprises around every corner. It is well written; the updates are fast and always leave you wanting more.

While I would love to stick around to tell you more, I fear I have given enough away already. *smirks*

As always, please read and review!

Until next time,

Mr. Boody

The Partners Fall for the Season of Our Discontent Anonymous Angst Contest!

2011-11-03T10:30:00.004-04:00

What thoughts do the following images bring to mind?

Puppies and Rainbows? Happy Holidays and Birthday Parties?

No, obviously these images depict sad, angsty, maybe even heart-failish things. Which is why we love them so much!

The Season of Our Discontent is an anonymous writing contest that's centered around all the stuff we love and crave...stuff that we here in the fandom can't seem to get enough of.

Currently there are 27 entries, and with another three weeks to go, there are sure to be many more. The contest is being hosted and judged by some rather well known authors in the Twilight fandom, including - 22blue, katinki, coldplaywhore, chrometurtl e, Feisty Y. Beden, lola-pops, Talula Blue, and Rochelle Allison. With those ladies involved, how could the contest not be amazing?

We here at PIC have read several of the entries, and each one has something unique and wonderful to offer it's readers. We know you won't be disappointed!!

You want a little taste of something? How about this...

*****

He built a crib. Spent countless hours inside the shed in their lovely backyard measuring, sawing, cutting, fitting.

That's what he did. He designed, he built.

A crib, designed to hold a baby – their baby.

She laid eyes upon it and broke into sobs.

He merely patted her back, tried to comfort her, didn't know how.

He painted the baby's room yellow.

She wanted it painted blue.

He placed dinosaurs on the wall.

She placed a small, blue teddy bear in the crib.

"Goddamnit, Bella, I'm trying," he said.

He was at work when her water broke.

Little Jacob Charles Cullen, weighing six pounds, four ounces, twenty inches long, came into the world without his father.

A kind nurse named Alice held Bella's hand, let her nearly break her fingers as she pushed little Jake out into the world.

The cruel, unfair world.

Taking parents, giving life.

A baby, innocent, with a tuft of brown hair and perfect, tiny hands and feet, regretted, resented before he even opened his eyes.

Edward drove them home from the hospital the next day.

"You missed it," mother said to father.

"I couldn't leave," he simply replied.

He could have, she knew.

"Reclamation"

*****

See? What did we tell you? A little more? Fine...

*****

It takes all three of them to load me up into the van, but I'm finally on my way to the beach. My deteriorating body can never display the excitement I feel. I used to live on the beach when I was young. My friends and I would spend long, lazy summer days basking in the heat. We'd jump off the cliffs adjacent to the shore and then lie in the hot sand to warm up. We'd play volleyball on the beach and check out the girls in bikinis. I long for those carefree days. I long for a time when my biggest worry was whether or not Jessica Stanley had the hots for Mike Newton.

Mostly I long for the sun. Its rays are healing in ways I can't explain. I feel free and healthy again, just like that time in Hawaii. If I close my eyes, I can feel the same way I felt when I was sixteen. The smell of the ocean and coolness of the breeze is a sedative to me, lulling me into peace. I can forget my reality.

When we get home this afternoon, they gather at the other side of my room and speak as though I'm not here, which they do a lot these days. I want to yell, "I'm here!" but I can't.

"We shouldn't have allowed him to go. It was too hard on him."

"He won't survive another trip. It's too difficult."

"I'll talk to Bella."

And just like that, I know I'll never go outside again. At least not to the beach. I close my eyes and remember the sun on my face and the smell of the ocean. I'm getting very good at reliving memories.

"My Legacy"

*****

You know you can't resist it, so why try? Go on over to the contest page and start reading all the amazing entries. There are 10 picture prompts for the stories, and each story must be based on or use one of them. It's interesting to see how different authors interpret the same pictures, and it truly makes for a fun and exciting contest.

Entries are being accepted through November 24th, so there's still lots of time to write something and submit it.

Public Voting will take place November 25th through December 10th, and Winners will be announced on December 15th via the contest twitter account - @TwiAngstContest

Check out the contest profile for official rules, a list of awards, and all other information you might need, then get busy reading.

Oh, and have a box of tissues handy. You just might need them...

Mrs. White Navigates the River with CaraNo!

2011-11-02T12:23:00.008-04:00

You know how sometimes life gets crazy? Busy? A little hectic, even, and you completely forget about things? Like making dinner for your children, or picking them up from school, or even their names... Not that THAT has ever happened to me... Whatever. Anyway, I was thinking today that I needed an amazing story to pass along to you. And then something wonderful popped into my head. It's something you're going to love...I know I do.

River is another drabble-type story from CaraNo, an author with so many great stories and characters under her writing belt, it's astounding! River is the name of a character in this story, a little boy, to be exact. We see him for a moment in the prologue, along with his parents Bella and Jasper. We're left to wonder exactly what is going on, because trust me...this is a Bella and Edward story.

Set in the fictional town of Port Pines, Virginia, Bella, her boy friend Jasper, and her best friend Rosalie are all living a quiet life together. Bella and Rose have found their dream jobs, being employed by a daytime drama that shoots in the tiny town. After Jasper loses his job, the three of them decide to take on another roommate to help with bills. Enter Edward Cullen, son of Cullen Media's owner, Carlisle Cullen. Edward is striking out on his own a bit, trying to make a name for himself in the industry, and needs a place to stay. Sparks fly as soon as Bella meets Edward, but she's taken...nothing can happen. That is, until Jasper gets HIS dream job, working for Cullen Media...in California. He takes the job, leaving Bella feeling a bit odd about things between them, and with him only returning home for a few days each month or so, Bella soon finds it hard to fight back the feelings she has for Edward. When Edward makes it clear that he feels the same way for Bella, she realizes she needs to make a choice. Out of the blue, and over the phone, Jasper makes it for her, breaking things off and pushing her into the arms of Edward. Will Bella tell him exactly how she feels? Will Edward show her what he does when he sneaks away from the house at night? Can Bella really be over her eight year relationship with Jasper that quickly? And seriously, how stinkin' cute is the pet pig Bella buys?

River is a great little story, with short chapters that update several times a day. After reading the prologue, we're left wondering how things could change so drastically for Bella and Edward within such a short amount of time. You see...Bella starts out with Jasper, but falls for Edward, then ends up pregnant and engaged to Jasper again... What? I, for one, and dying to see how all this happens, especially since it's pretty clear from the end of the prologue that more than just one person's memories resulted from the one night Edward and Bella spend together... :)

You'll love this story, just like all of her other amazing tales. CaraNo has a knack for angsty, sweet, funny stories with great characters and interesting plotlines. You won't be sorry after you dive into River. I know I'm not...

Now, I guess I should go hunting for winter clothes and jackets. Fall is clearly here and it's a freezing 57 degrees outside! Ugh...me no likey the cold. Although, it does make parts of me much harder, and I know Neighbor Guy likes that... :D I think I'll throw a tank top on and go stand outside in the cold wind and give him a little show while I wait for the next River update. I know he'll love it... :)

*********

When she presses her soft lips against mine, I don't respond.

I'm in disbelief.

Frozen.

Warring with myself.

She's drunk.

But she told me she…

Doesn't matter. She's still drunk, and we have much more to talk about.

In the meantime, Bella's moving closer to my body.

Tearing down my walls.

Still urging me to return her kiss.

I want to. God, I want to.

"Want me, Edward," she whimpers, and I screw my eyes shut.

I do want you, baby. You have no idea how much I want you.

My body reacts.

The tip of her tongue brushes over my lip ring, and I feel my resolve crumbling faster and faster.

A whisper. "Please…"

It's wrong, but it's so right.

A quiet moan escapes me when she rolls her hips over my growing erection.

I'm caving.

And before I know it, I'm kissing her back.

Throwback Thursday: Mrs. White Gets Some High Anxiety with EdwardsBloodType!

2011-10-28T00:36:00.015-04:00

Let's go back...waaaaaay back. To March of 2010 and enjoy the wonder that is EdwardsBloodType and amazing story High Anxiety...
(Hey, it's still Thursday where I live... :D )

Sit back, close your eyes, (well, don’t really because then you won’t be able to read this and trust me, you do NOT want to miss out!) and imagine the perfect Edward. Do you see bronze hair glistening in the sun, a tattoo inked on a toned bicep, a piercing you wanna run your tongue over, hear curse words any sailor would be proud of, see a clean freak Alice from The Brady Bunch would adore, smell smoke any pot head would be envious of… Hmmmm, that’s my perfect Edward, too. A man who can fight for me, sex me up, and then clean my house. Oh, and did I mention he’s only 16? No? Hmmm, well lucky for me this Edward likes his women slightly north of 18.

High Anxiety. You know you’ve heard about it. You know you have friends hanging on every chapter of it. You know you’ve wondered how so many people can be THAT interested in a story that doesn’t even have any smexin’ going on. Well, let me tell you, you’re missing out! Edwardsbloodtype has created a story so honest and truthful, so heartbreaking and angsty that you just want to grab her Edward and snuggle with him on a sofa. Or in a bed, as long as you’re horizontal.

High Anxiety is the story of Bella, a new girl back in her old school. Lucky for her, there have been some editions to the town of Forks, namely the Cullen boys. Every girl wants them, but there’s something different about Edward. He seems perfect, except for the brooding, the OCD behavior, the rebelliousness, and his complete lack of interest in girls. When Bella breaks through his walls, finally pulling him away from his past, will he be able to change, become the boy he once was? Will Bella be willing to spend the time it will take to win his heart? And seriously, what’s with all this no-touchy stuff?

I won’t lie, I squee every time I see a new chapter of High Anxiety. The writing is incredible. The chapters are long and intriguing. Certain scenes and chapters have twisted my stomach into knots, refusing to let go. The story is so smart and clever; I can’t get enough of it. Trust me when I say, you won’t be sorry for diving into this one head first.

Oh, and you might also learn a thing or two. Let’s say, just because they aren’t having sex doesn’t mean they aren’t doing ‘stuff.’ That reminds me, I think it’s time for my next trip to my favorite Ladies Boutique…

*****

"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly.

"How unfair life is," I answered quietly, releasing my lower lip from my teeth. "How sometimes I used to think that I must have been a serial murderer or something awfully evil in another life to deserve the shitty deal I've been given in this one. And then you came along and I know for sure I must be in hell because what could I possibly have done that was so horrific that the devil would dangle you in front of my face and won't let me have you?" Overcome with emotion as the words left my mouth, my eyes pricked with tears for the second day in a row. I couldn't stop them from falling and it was futile to hide it from Bella.

Bella's eyes clouded over with sadness, tears brimming along the surface. "I'm so sorry," she whispered as little trails of tears slid down her cheeks onto the bedspread. She reached out and grazed her fingers along mine. Her hand was trembling.

I allowed a tear to fall down my temple before I wiped it with the back of my hand. My voice cracked as I looked down at our connected hands.

"But then I think that maybe…maybe you were sent to me because I am good and I do deserve a person like you in my life." I sniffed, coughing back a full blown sob. I could feel my bottom lip quivering like a baby's, but I didn't care, because Bella's silent tears were mirroring my own. I felt her pain, I felt her sadness…they were all mine.

"Do you think that's maybe the case, Bella? Do you think that I am good enough inside to deserve you? Do you think that you could possibly ever love me the way I love you?" I shut my eyes, gasping back the choked breaths that accompanied the quiet sobs. Bella's fingers laced through mine, tightening around my palm. She leaned over, placing a small kiss on my thumb. I could feel warm wetness where her tears splashed on my skin.

"Edward," she sniffed, inching her face closer to mine. "You are sweet and good and wonderful and I love you so much it hurts to breathe sometimes, so don't you ever…ever doubt who you are. This isn't your fault and I don't know why it happened, but it doesn't matter because I would still love you without question, no matter what. I'll love you forever and ever, E. I promise."

And before either of us knew it, our noses touched just the tiniest bit before Bella's lips brushed gently against mine. It was but a feather blowing in the wind…soft, almost non existent…but there, present and tenderly defined. And though the kiss didn't last more than a fraction of a second, it was real.

Bella, my sweet beautiful Bella, who was my angel and my reason to wake up in the morning, loved me. And a huge piece of the ginormous black hole that was gaping in my life closed up in that very moment. Because I knew no matter what ugliness had stained my past, my future was with Bella, bright and beautiful and full of hope just like her.
Because I was loved, whether I deserved it or not.

***********

And now, it's entirety, is the extended version of a rather naughty conversation between Mrs. White and EdwardsBloodType...

***********

Mrs. White: Hey edwardsbloodtype, thanks for coming over today to ogle the neighbor guy with me. I do love it when he trims those hedges.

edwardsbloodtype: *peers outside* He’s pretty hot. My neighbor is bald and fat and makes his wife mow the lawn. I’ve never been on the west coast except for a layover to Hawaii, so it’s nice to be here. Layover’s don’t count though.

MW: No, that doesn’t count. Hey, who were you on the phone with?

EBT: Suzy, my beta.

MW: Speaking of Suzy, she told me to ask you when she’s getting her raise and vacation time because dealing with all that’s gone down in recent chapters has her considering a career change.

EBT: I’m just gonna snort and tell Suzy how cute she is. No, but seriously, the story wouldn’t be half as good if it weren’t for her additions, outtakes and the availability of her to talk to me every single day. She is awesome in so many ways, and I am lucky to have her.

MW: Hmmm, you two are so cozy together…it’s kinda hot. So, how did you get started in fan fic?

EBT: Yeah, uh I don’t swing that way…well, unless there’s tequila involved. After the ultimate disappointment when BD ended, I went online, having heard there was more, (SM’s outtakes and whatnot). I had read a story that took up where Stephenie Meyer faded to black in the BD honeymoon scenes, in which I can’t recall the name. From there I found a couple of fics that were alternate universes but still vampire centric. And then I discovered All Human stories and it opened up a whole new world. At first I didn’t get it. I was like, “What’s the point…the key element is the vampires…” But then, I got it and I haven’t stopped. I think The Arrangement by manyafandom was the first AH and wow, is that a great place to start...talk about jumping right in!

As far as writing, I had this idea in my head for a simple reunion between Bella and Edward a few years after he leaves her, and I was scared to post. But it was a great experience, because not only did enough people read it to give me the confidence to be more courageous with my story ideas, but they were so supportive and encouraging AND I met my beta Suzy through that, which I honestly have to say, is the best thing I have gotten out of my whole Twilight obsession. She is my bestie and I love her and she makes my stories complete.

MW: *makes note to self to stock up on tequila* Oh, that’s kinda special. So I thought I’d make us a little treat. What’s your favorite item on a relish tray?

EBT: Pickles…hee hee.

MW: Hmmmm, yum. And your favorite desert?

EBT: Anything chocolate, could be chocolate covered poo, don’t care.

MW: Well, maybe these chocolate covered pickles aren’t too bad an idea then. So, what are your favorite fic’s?

EBT: I have many, for different reasons. Clipped Wings and Inked Armor is written in such a way that it feels effortless and genuine and her characters, though I don’t think any of us can truly relate to them, have a darkness and passion that we can empathize with. Tropic of Virgo by In A Blue Bathrobe, is sheer beauty to me, and I loved her characters ability to speak and connect through poetry. The Lost Boys by Hwimsey was the most original fic I have ever read. Her writing is almost old fashioned and lyrical. That story was so well done. Emancipation Proclamation is another that I feel is original, unpredictable and very well written. How To Save A Life by Unholy Obsession, is very real, and written in a way that is seamless and engaging. I could go on for days.

MW: Nice. Do you have anything pierced?

EBT: Just my ears. If my boobs were still in the same place they were ten years ago I would get my nipples done. Now the rings would just weigh them down further and lord knows we don’t need that.

MW: I hear that, though I have some nice corsets that keep mine in place. When’s the last time you bought lingerie?

EBT:*snorts* 2001.

MW: Okay, so we’re going shopping after this. I just got my alimony check for the month; we can give neighbor guy a little show when we get back. How did you come up with the ideas for you stories?

EBT: *looks out the window at said neighbor guy, hence becoming totally distracted* Oh, um… what was the question? Right, so I’ll Be Your Lover Too was just a way for me to see if I could write smut, and the story line sort of evolved chapter by chapter without a set plan. With High Anxiety, I had come across an article about a corrupt judge and then the idea of a restraining order kind of came into play then because I wanted to see if I could hold the audience’s attention without having any (or little) smut in the story. I must say I am thoroughly impressed at how long the readers have held out. It also makes for tremendous pressure to have B& E’s first time nothing other than stellar.

MW: If you could get it on with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?

EBT: Oh definitely HA Edward, simply because even though he’s inexperienced, he’s craving the affection and with his OCD, you know he’s gonna want to do it repeatedly until he gets it perfect.

MW: Oh goodness, is it getting hot in here? *fans self* No? Okay, um how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?

EBT: Without sounding like a total jerk, I hate it and love it at the same item. It embarrasses me and I am uncomfortable being in the spotlight, but by the same token, it is thrilling and really kind of cool to have people waiting on my next word. I secretly enjoy the power. *rubs hands together and laughs maniacally*

However, because this is relatively anonymous, not having to show my face and being able to sit here and do this at six am in my husband’s bathrobe, it makes it tons of fun. The thing is, I am not an egotistical person. In the fandom there is a distinct hierarchy between the readers and the authors and then again amongst those specific groups. I group myself in with the readers- I am just here to enjoy an escape from the mundane, doing what I enjoy doing. It is an absolute honor to hear that someone liked my story, as well as having them share their own experiences with me. I get a kick out of someone who tells me they heard a song that reminded them of HA or that a chapter stuck with them for days.

MW: Hmmm, interesting. So do you listen to music while you write?

EBT: I need quiet when I write. I am always in the car, so the music I listen to definitely inspires me. I keep a notebook in the car as well, to jot down ideas and songs that I hear.

MW: How did you choose your pen name?

EBT: It was one of the few clever Twilight related things I could come up with that wasn’t taken, but in hindsight I wish I would have used something non Twilight related.

MW: Well, let’s see…quick, what’s your favorite fruit and soda?

EBT: Kiwi, and I don’t drink soda, but I guess root beer is good.

MW: Kiwi Rootbeer… No? Yeah, not nearly sexy enough. So, who is your favorite character to write?

EBT: Oddly enough, Edward. I would think channeling a sixteen year old boy would be the farthest thing from my capabilities since I haven’t been that age for some time now, and I am definitely not a male, nor do I understand (or like at the moment) the species as a whole. But I think he flows better and more readily for me than Bella does. I guess because Edward is what I had wanted in a boy at that age? I like to curse, so maybe that’s why, I have no idea.

MW: I think it’s illegal to “channel” sixteen year old boys. Well, I know it is in this state. Don’t ask how I know. Hey, have you ever been to China?

EBT: Um, no. That was random. And I’m in New York. There aren’t a lot of laws here regarding, uh…”channeling.”

MW: *winks* Yeah, I know. Which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?

EBT: I think Twilight has to be my fave. It’s where it all started. It’s where they fell in love and that to me is the best part, because I am a romantic. BD was disappointing. I feel as though because Bella got everything she wanted and then some, it ended too fairy tale like. No one was suffering. It frustrated me, because she didn’t have to make any sacrifices as everyone else did. I also would have liked to have seen some more bloodshed between the Vamp showdown which I thought was anticlimactic and boring considering all the buildup. I mean…all that and Bella’s powers turn out to be a stupid shield. She should have been able to shoot silver bullets from her nipples or something cool like that.

Oh, and don’t get me started over the cut out sex scenes and her begging her own newly devirginized husband to do it on their honeymoon. You know if that were real, Edward would have been tapping that shit like crazy, no whining.

MW: Hmmm, honeymoon scenes… What color are your sheets?

EBT: Sage green with Sharpie marker designs all over them.

MW: Nice. If you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?

EBT: One? Pssssh. Get a beta that is good at grammar and punctuation. You can have a great story, but if the mechanics of it are poor, no one is going to read it. Also…do your research. The internet is a wealth of information, and the story will be so much better if your facts are straight. Lastly, write what you want to write. Be brave, take chances, go out on a limb, and don’t be intimidated by threats to flounce.

MW: K, rapid fire time. Ready?

EBT: Is it sad that I want to go to Forks? I mean really want to go to Forks, like I would love to get a mass fan fiction trip going. That would be awesome! They should rent out Jake’s house to tourists.

MW: That would be cool!

EBT: I have no excuse at all, I just wanna go. It looks really pretty there. I have a reader from there who says it’s like Podunk.

MW: What, no malls?

EBT: No, very folksy.

MW: Huh, probably hard to find a good g-string. Okay, if you could be on any reality TV show, what would it be?

EBT: Jersey Shore. * snorts*

MW: How many purses do you have?

EBT: Around 15 or so. The good ones I rotate seasonally or by occasion. But I am a shoe girl. I had close to 250 pairs of shoes before my house burned down. Now I have maybe 100.

MW: Do you ever wear headbands?

EBT: LOL! I am not allowed. I have pictures of me in high school that I have a color coordinated one on in every single picture. I also have giant late eighties hair. In the pictures...not now. The perm should totally make a comeback.

MW: What’s the last magazine you read? EBT: Details.

MW: Which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?

EBT: Oh God, probably Cinderella before she meets the fairy Godmother. I am all sweet and girly on the inside but feel like a dirty slave on the outside.

MW: Unggggg…Details photo spread and dirty slaves… Hmmm, okay, enough of that. Hey look, neighbor guy is trimming the hedges along my fence. I may need to find a way to repay him for that.

EBT: Buttsecks?

MW: Maybe… I just wanna play with him for awhile and then come home by myself.

EBT: ME TOO. That’s how life should be - fuck me and leave me alone. And you can print that. Oh, and the guy should pay for stuff and take out the garbage.

MW: Do you buy trash bags with a draw string or with the tie flaps?

EBT: Oh, draw string for sure.

MW: Right on Sista’ Couga’ Friend! What is your favorite ALMOST curse word?

EBT: Peen. I would work it into every conversation if it weren’t so inappropriate.

MW: Speaking of peen, did you see Dear John?

EBT: Not yet. I have the book, but have yet to open it. Last movie I saw in a theater was New Moon.

MW: Holy Hannah, Channing Tatum is HOT in a uniform. Oh goodness...

EBT: I KNOW!!!!!! Even with a broken peen. :D

MW: Speaking of totally hot guys, if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

EBT: “Wow, you are much thinner here in Heaven that you were on earth. You’ve been a good, kind person during your time there, so here’s the keys to your waterfront mansion and 24 hour access to Chocolate Twizzlers, and porn. Oh, and once Rob meets his demise, I’ll direct him straight to your playroom.”

MW: Ahhh, Rob in a playroom… That would be Heaven. So how about some reader questions?

EBT: Yeah, get on that.

MW: Ohh, here’s a good one. AnotherJenny from Twilighted asked - Is Charlotte going to play a roll in this eff'ed up situation turning around, or is it going to come from some other angle?

EBT: The answer to that will be revealed in chapter thir…wait is that your Robporn collection? It’s huge!

MW: Yes, well I like things… huge. So how about another one. Maplestyle from Twilighted wants to know - How hard was it for you to post your very first fanfic story? Did it make you really nervous or was it something that you were just able to do?

EBT: I was scared shitless when I posted the first chapter of my first story, and shaking with fear and excitement when I read the first review. It is a really big thing to put your work out there, especially when there is so much outstanding writing in the fandom to compare it to. It’s hard not to feel inadequate, but if I look at my first story and what I have now, comparatively, the writing has improved substantially, so it’s very cool to see the progression. I still get nervous when I post a chapter. But now it’s because of all the angry PM’s I get. It’s okay, its still cool.

MW: Oh, I don't know if my friend ever told you this in a review (she's not great at leaving them *ehem, you know who you are*) but that scene you had of him pitching, with Carlisle and Emmett watching, she said for her it was one of the best FF scenes she's ever read.

EBT: Aww, that’s awesome. Funny cause I didn’t write that, Suzy did!

MW: Really? She loved it. Well, she said something along the lines of it being one of the most honest and just beautiful scenes she's read.

EBT: I have no experience with sports, so I asked her to take the reins and then I added my style to it, but that was all her.

MW: Cool, she did good. It was a good scene, I liked it.

EBT: Me too, I was thrilled with it.

MW: I think my friend was crying, and she doesn't cry often at fic’s.

EBT: Awwwww, that’s so nice. I cried too.

MW: Oh look, neighbor guy is right outside the window. I’m sure he knows we’re in here, wants to see what we’re wearing. We need to get over to that lingerie store so we can show him a few things.

EBT: I can’t wait! I need some smut!

MW: I'm so excited for it now... Ohhhh... Yeah, there has to be smut.

EBT: Good things to come…

MW: Hey, speaking of things to come… *giggles* So you working on anything new?

EBT: Yup, wanna know?

MW: Yes!!!

EBT: Well, Edward and Rosalie are…

MW: *glances outside* What the…

EBT: Don’t roll your eyes!

MW: No, look. Neighbor guy is holding something up in the window, I think it’s recording our conversation. He’s trying to sneak High Anxiety spoilers!

EBT: WHAT??

MW: *Jumps up and runs to the window, reaching out and grabbing neighbor guy by the glorious, thick dark brown hair that’s poking up in all directions* What are you doing?

NG: They made me do it! All those hotties over at Twilighted, they bribed me with scantily clad pictures of themselves and cupcakes if I’d get them some information on that story you’re talking about. I just really love cupcakes. And vanilla frosting…

MW: Oh really? Frosting huh?

EBT: *Approaches window after adjusting her cleavage* Hmmm, you and your vanilla need some hot sauce, my friend.

MW: *Exchanges looks with EBT* Oh, well I think we can handle that. Meet us in my hot tub, boy, ten minutes, and bring tequila. You got that?

NG: *Looks back and forth between MW and EBT* Oh hell yeah!

MW: Yeah, I think it’s time to finish this interview. Things are about to get very M rated up in here.

EBT: *watches as neighbor guy runs off toward his house* I didn't bring my swimming suit.

MW: *quirks eyebrow* I wasn't planning on wearing one.

EBT: Awesome…

Mrs. White Looks for Cars with Artemis Leaena!

2011-10-21T18:50:00.009-04:00

Another amazing story from the Twilight Erotica Challenge, winning the Judges' First Place award, as well as 2nd place in the Public Voting, was Honey, Where's Your Car? by Artemis Leaena. Get ready for some hot lovin' when you read this story. But before that, enjoy a little one on one time with the author. She's lots of fun...I promise.

*******

Mrs. White: Hey Artemis Leaena! I'm so glad to meet you! Thanks for coming car shopping with me today. I guess it's time I find something that will fit more than just two people in it. Darn kids...

Artemis Leaena: Thanks for inviting me, Mrs. White...can I call you M-dub? Cuz otherwise it's a mouthful, & if it's not of Edward...it's just not worth it!

MW: Oh honey, what I wouldn't give for a mouth full of Edward. Yum! Say, you seeing Breaking Dawn next month? I kinda can't wait...

AL: I AM...but sadly, not till the Wed after the release!! =( But I can't WAIT to see Edward break a few walls in the sex scene. **swoon**

MW: Hmmmmm, I know. That whole headboard rattling and destruction has me itching for more! So, how did you get started in fan fic?

AL: I don’t remember why I started reading fan fic, but it was about Sept of ’10 when I did so…and I was hooked! After a while, I got to thinking, “I can do this!” So, in May of this year, I sat down & started writing my first story.

MW: Very smart of you, I think the fandom is glad you did. Your stories are great! Hey, if you could be any other person in the world, who would you be and why?

AL: Someone with money. LOL Because I have none! =P LOL...Bella on her honeymoon! ;P

MW: Oh... **stares off into space** can you just imagine what that would be like? I mean, the movie scenes they've shown so far are just...ugh. Yes. Is hot out here? **fans herself**

AL: They have smaller cars inside...& I think that salesman looks like Edward!!!!! And ummm...yeah...LOL

MW: Oh nice! Let's go! So, what's the first story you read?

AL: “Wide Awake” by AngstGoddess003. I don't know what drew me to the story, but by chapter 2 I was hooked, & by chapter 6 I was resenting the real world for intruding! When I finished it 2 days later, I was ravenous for more!!

MW: Yeah, that was a good one. You know, I hung out with her one day. She taught me just exactly how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. It was very enlightening. Oh, and we spied on the hot guys that live across the street from me. Good times...

AL: LMBO...ok...now I'm jealous...& am going to go talk to the Edward-look-alike salesman WITHOUT you!

MW: Oh come now, don't be like that. Here, let me get you something to drink. I've been to this dealership before. Trust me, they know how to take care of a lady. What's your favorite thing to drink?

AL: White Russian & Vodka. Or a Mocha-Coconut Frappachino from Starbucks. Or maybe just Orange Juice.

MW: Well honey, you're in luck. I never leave the house without my trust flask full of liquor. And today we've got vodka. Yippee!! Oh! Relish tray! See what I mean? They take care of the ladies...

AL: Hmmmm...think the dealer would be willing to do body shots!?!?!? LOL ;P

MW: I do happen to know the answer to that question. Let's just say...he's a boob man. :) Grab some snacks, let's check out these cars.

AL: WOW…ummm…black olives, baby carrots, baby kosher dill pickles, bell peppers, celery, cucumbers, & cherry tomatoes LOL I’m a veggie kind of gal! =) & that salesman looks like he's got a cucumber I'd like to dip in my.....ummmm....so CARS huh?!?!?! LMBO

MW: Well, they are delicious. Can't blame you for wanting a bite of that guy... He's yummy! :D So, what's your favorite fan fic story and why?

AL: I don’t have one. Like my taste in music, my reading habits change with my mood. Sometimes I’m in need of humor and other times I crave drama. If it’s on my profile’s “faves” list, then it touched me. All I ask from a story is for Edward to always get Bella, & a few steamy lemons. Oh, & for the couples to be canon & all human…I don’t read Vamp fics.

MW: Ugh, a girl after my own heart. Yeah, vamp stuff? No thanks, I want my Edward human and flawed like no other. And for him to get his woman. **winks** So, speaking of Edward, if you could make smexy times with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?

AL: Edward from my Birthdays, Bars, & Bathrooms. He’s strong, confident, protective, possessive, caring, a little bad, a lot of good, & he’s a devoted dad. To me, there’s nothing sexier than a responsible man who does his duty, not because he has to but because he wants to, but knows how to get down-n-dirty! ;P Oh…& he’s well endowed! ROFLMBO I like ‘em big! **smirk**

MW: Is there any other kind of Edward? :D Hey, that car is red and kinda pretty. Plus it seats four. I could handle that.

AL: Than a sexy Edward?!?! Not in MY world!!! LOL Yes...but that one over there is cherry red, sporty, & a two seater....no middle console...good for leaning over & give Edward road....ummmm...so 4 seater, huh!?!?!? LOL I think the salesman is looking at my boobs! **winking at him**

MW: I like you... You think the same way I do. :) Oh yeah, he's totally looking at them, and why shouldn't he? With as many buttons as you have undone, your boobs look awesome! So, how did you come up with the idea for your story?

AL: In general, or just for this story? I AM having an awesome boob day...these babies need shown off!

MW: For this one. Focus, woman! And I've got an amazing corset at home that he would totally love. Just saying, you could borrow it, come back and take something for a test drive...

AL: Oh ummm...well...my mind pretty much lives in the gutter, so when y'all asked me to tell you what turns me on...this little ditty popped into my head!!! And I'll test drive him alright...LOL...I'll drive him til he can't drive anymore! =P I know how to handle a stick!!!! **smirk**

MW: I'm sure you do. You look like you could take him around the block a time or two... I'm sure he'd love it. **winks** Now, story. How did you come up with it? Why did you write for this contest?

AL: I can write a lemon, & smut, & pure sex...although I always have to leave it open-ended & with some sort of plot...but y'all's challenge of making it erotic but not smutty made me wonder if I could do that. So I entered as a way of challenging myself. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to win...but my main goal was proving I could write an intimate scene that wasn't just word-porn. The idea for the story literally popped into my head as soon as I made the decision to enter. Like a little movie playing in my head, I saw it play out & sat down to write it for y'all! =) And around the block!? Hell...I'll take that man to the next COUNTY & back & make him forget his own name! **plumping up boobs in an obvious way**

MW: Oh you...I love how anxious you are. :D And he's a good one to take a ride with, if you know what I mean... Hey, what color are your bedroom walls? He's gonna want to know, so he can match his tie to them.

AL: White. Sadly, my apartment complex doesn’t allow us to paint. If I COULD though, they’d be a dark amethyst with gold borders.

MW: Hmmmmmm, pretty. :) Hey look! A green car, like Edward's eyes.

AL: He doesn't need to wear a tie....I've got some 'ties' already there for him!!! Hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Is there a middle console!? I really like eating cucumber while driving down the road!!!! LMBO

MW: Dang am I glad we're hanging out today! I'm guessing you could give me some pointers, teach me some new tricks for my Neighbor Guy. He'll love it. So, who is your favorite character to write?

AL: Edward & Bella, obviously! LOL But I also love writing Alice…though she’ll never star in any of my stories. I’m a very hyper person, & an ex cheerleader, and Alice allows me to channel all my girly-girl, shop-a-holic, hyperness into someone who can carry it. I don’t care if she becomes clichéd, that’s how I love my Alice so that’s how I’ll always write her. =) Honey...I could write a BOOK of tricks...& treats for that matter...for you & your little neighbor-man!!! hehehehe

MW: Nice, I can see you as an Alice, and with your little Tricks and Treats book. And just in time for Halloween, too! Nice! Hey, if you were in a beauty pageant, what would your talent be?

AL: You mean BESIDES eating Edward's cucumber!? LOL Singing. I sang First Soprano all through high school, & auditioned into a Madrigal troupe in college in that range.

MW: Eating and singing...I love it. :D Hey this car has airbags. That's what Neighbor Guy sometimes calls my boobs, his big fluffy airbags. :D **hee-hee**

AL: LMBO...well...since you've got neighbor guy...you might want to un-deploy your airbags as I'm trying to use MY considerable airbags to snag sales-boy over there...who just checked out my ass!!!

MW: Nice!! I saw him wandering around behind us. I thought he might be doing a little "shopping" of his own. :) And honey, these "airbags" are always fully loaded. You just never know when you might cross paths with RPattz. Hey, do you have a celebrity crush?

AL: I don’t really have one. I’ve never understood the whole hero/celebrity worship phenomena. Yes, they’re incredibly good looking, & SOME are actually talented too…but they’re still just people. Besides, I’ve only ever crushed on two people in real life, & neither had anything to do with their looks…I’m drawn to someone’s personality more than anything. With celebrities, you never know anything beyond what they want you to know, so you can’t get a good ‘read’ on them. But I'd like to CRUSH on sales-boy, who is DEFINITELY 'shopping' for a 'ride' today! LOL

MW: Oh yeah, I think he's warmed up and ready to take a spin... :) So, how did you meet and get your beta?

AL: The wonderful Ninmesarra was a gift from the Beta Gods over at Sparkly Red Pen! =) I was ‘late to the game’ as it were in deciding to definitely enter this contest but SRP got me hooked up with Nin, & within 1 day she had me sorted out.

MW: Nice! Beta's are kinda awesome. I know I love mine. :) Almost as much as I'm loving that blue sports car over there. Wow...

AL: Oooohhhh...it IS shiny!!! =) Maybe if I undo another button, & hike my skirt up a little, the nice salesman will let me sit on him....in IT...I meant IN the car!!! =P

MW: Oh yeah!!! Hike that skirt up, let's see what kind of deals that'll get us!

AL: I think it'll take more than my satin-n-lace knickers to get us a good deal.....but perhaps if I let him tie me up them...LOL

MW: Oh honey, if you let him tie you up, I think we could get a car at wholesale! Oh, I wanted to ask you, which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?

AL: Hhmmm…wow…never thought of this one before. I’d have to say Belle. She knew she wanted more from life and, even though she didn’t know how to go about getting it, she wasn’t afraid to try. She also stood by her principles & never let anyone tell her that what she was thinking or feeling was wrong. She didn’t give in.

MW: Yeah, Belle was awesome like that. Plus all those books... :D Kinda like fanfic, always something to read. :D

AL: Plus she's French....I speak french! "Oh Monsier! Voulez vous coucher avec moi c'est soir?" ou puis-je vous donner une fellation???

MW: **swoons** I love French...French speaking, French Kissing, French Toast, French Fries... I love it all. Oh! And Michael Vartan is French. YUM! So, how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?

AL: Validated! =) I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was 11, and several months ago made the decision to quit Accounting school to pursue that full-time. I don’t consider this to be ‘just fan fic,’ it’s more of a ‘proving ground’ for me. At least one great author—that I know of—got her start doing just this. So when people ‘gush’ over my writing &/or my stories, it makes me feel like I made the right life decision. Now, more than ever, I believe my Twitter byline, “Today, I write Twilight fanfiction. Tomorrow, someone will write fanfiction based on MY books!” Hmmmmm...Michael Vartan IS yummy!!!! Et, il est francais!!! J'adore tous le francais!!! =)

MW: Ohhhhhh, I love that. :) **sniffle** You're so determined, that's nice. I hope you're just as determined to land salesboy over there. I think he's getting a little hot under the collar, with your strutting around and all.

AL: Yeah...I thought he was was gonna bust his zipper when I 'oops' dropped my purse...hehehehehehe

MW: It's just a good thing you have that thong on, otherwise I think angry old receptionist lady would be calling the cops on us, crying indecent exposure! Ugh, it must suck to be that old. So hey, which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?

AL: Or to be that old you can't suck anymore! **evil smirk** Eclipse is my fave book because Bella FINALLY put us out of our misery by declaring Edward was who/what she wanted…& she stood by it! Also, two words: “hip hitch.” LMBO Breaking Dawn gets a bad rap from the fans I think. I liked it a lot. However, I feel/felt that it could’ve been longer or a fifth book. To me, it felt a little rushed after Reneesme’s birth & Bella’s change. There could have been more development. Also, I’m a ‘closure’ kinda gal. LOL So I would’ve liked to’ve seen a bit more at the end from Bella & Edward.

MW: I liked Eclipse the best too. Mostly 'cause it has Angry Edward, and I love him... **smirks at the thought of her very own Angry Edward**

AL: Hmmm...I'll bet I could make salesboy 'angry.' LOL Maybe enough that he'll have to spank me?!?!?!

MW: I think it'd be fun to try... :D And who doesn't love a good spanking? Rawr. So, do you listen to music while you write? Does music inspire your stories in any way?

AL: Yes…I write best when there is music playing. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song & thought, “That would make a great story!” But I have heard song & thought, “That would be perfect for a certain scene in one of my stories.” I keep a list attached to each story of what song & what I felt when I heard it or why I think it would work in that scene. I'm a touch OCD that way! =)

MW: I like that, music is a good thing. Oh hey, I brought this little cd with me, let's pop it into the cd player on one of these cars and see what happens... It's a little seductive, I hope you don't mind.

AL: As long as it has P!nk ft. Peaches' "Oh My God!" I'm good! LOL Although...I'd also like to show salesboy how I use my nine inch nails to get closer to him.....hmmmmmm I'm sorry...were you talking!? LOL

MW: :D Let me see...I think it's my stripper mix, so there's lots of Nickleback on here. How about a little "Something In Your Mouth" to start off with... We can finish up with some "Closer." That's always an awesome song to end the show with.

AL: Oooooo...I'd love to show Chad Kroeger how we can act like Animals....LOL....I wonder if salesboy can sing...aw hell...he can growl in my ear for all I care! LMBO

MW: Yee haw... :D So, if you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?

AL: Some people are going to love your work, others are going to hate it, and sometimes they’re going to be the same person. Take the criticism & use it to learn. Take the compliments & use them to fuel you during dark times. Never think so much of yourself that you are above asking for help…or accepting it when freely offered. Mostly though: until they make it personal, don’t take it personal. If you can’t do that, then stop writing, because if you’re going to break every time the wind blows wrong, then you’re never going to be strong enough to withstand the flood when success is achieved. I guess that's more than one piece...but it's all part-n-parcel! =)

MW: Ahhhhh, and it's so true, too. I mean, if I'd stopped collecting RobPorn when my children started laughing at me, I wouldn't have one of the biggest collections in the Southwest now. I mean, I had to move a couple of kids out of a bedroom so it could take over, but you know...they're happy in the garage. Whatever.

AL: As long as there's heat, it's not child abuse!!! LOL

MW: That's right! And they even have A/C for those summer months when it's 115. There's really nothing to complain about. Oh, you ever played football?

AL: ROFLMBO…ummm…no I’m a prissy girly-girl who doesn’t like to get dirty. And I suffer from Bella-itis & tend to trip over nothing, so it's really not safe for me to play sports! LOL

MW: :D It's probably better that you just watch, then. I know that's what I prefer to do...watch those men run around the field in tight little pants...tackling one another... **sighs** So, what is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?

AL: The variety! It’s interesting to see the many incarnations of the same characters. I’m sure it will happen eventually, but I’ve yet to read a fic & have the thought, “Oh, I’ve read this character or set of characters before.” As for the Fandom? The people! There are some truly awesome readers & writers out there, and I’ve been fortunate enough to get to interact with some of them. For instance...I'm having a great time whoring...ummm...I mean HANGING with you today! ;) And maybe later I can hang, whore, or whatever else he's into with salesboy!! hehehehe

MW: Nice. :D This is turning out to be a fun day. I usually hate the car sales place, but after today, I may start hanging out here more often. Oh, I wanted to ask, how did you choose your username? It's interesting...

AL: My real name is a variant of Artemis & I was born under the sign of Leo. Being a Mythology buff who loves Latin, I am “The Lioness Artemis,” or Artemis Leaena. I'm the one & only Goddess of the Pride! =P

MW: Nice. :D And I love how you've been on the prowl today... I know salesboy has noticed. He's panting over in the corner. :D So, what's your favorite ALMOST curse word?

AL: Frickin' A!!! LOL I say that all the time...much to the amusement of the teen squad that has taken up residence in my house!

MW: Oh, I love that one! :D It's so fun to say. :) Well, since salesboy is pretty much good to go, and I think it's about time for him to clock out, I just have one more question. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

AL: “Welcome home, my child!” Of course, I'll have to do A LOT of repenting...especially after tonight...'cause you're right....I think salesboy has just clocked out, judging by how determinedly he's stalking over here! So umm...It was wonderful hanging with you today M-dub...but I'm about to be VERY busy!!! =) I have to go help this Edward find his 'car'!!! LOL

MW: Yeah, I think you got some praying to do. Though, from the looks of it, you're gonna be getting worshipped good and hard tonight. **watches as salesboy stalks his way over to Artemis Leana**

AL: Well, hello there handsome! **whispering in an aside to Mrs. White** I'll catch ya later, sweety! **back to 'Edward'** So, honey, where's your car?

*******

Don't forget to check out the story review for Honey, Where's Your Car? over on IndieFicPimp's site, and then leave some love for Artemis. She's kinda great...

Mrs. White Towers Over Surfer Boys with Wandb!

2011-10-21T11:22:00.012-04:00

Hey everyone! We are getting a special treat this week, and trust me...I had a really good time with it too! We have interviews with two of the winning authors from the Twilight Erotica Challenge writing contest! I'm so excited to let you see all the fun I had with these two amazing ladies. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did...

First up we have Wandb, whose story Tower 32 won both the Public Vote and and IndieFicPimp Pick! It's an amazing story that I know you'll love, so gets get down and dirty with the author herself, shall we?

*******

Mrs. White: Hey Wandb! I'm so excited to come hang with you at the beach today. I hope my bikini is skimpy enough. Or, I mean not too skimpy...

Wandb: Me too! It's hard not to want to flaunt our perfect figures!

MW: I know, right? I mean great boobs should totally be shown off. **adjusts her cleavage**

Wb: Exactly.

MW: So, while we get out chairs set up here in the sand, I'll just ask you, how did you get started in fan fic?

Wb: A couple of friends from another board I frequent got me into it, and I’ve been hooked ever since. Back then, we were just so shocked to see such graphic lemons. LOL.

MW: Hmmmmm, friends and lemons really are fun. And sometimes even lemons with friends are fun. But that's another story. Hey, what color are your bedroom walls?

Wb: We’re all about the warm tones in my house. My room is mostly deep beige but I have one dark chocolate brown accent wall. I love color, but just in my pillows and things.

MW: Nice. Wow, the waves are really big today. You think we'll get to see some hot surfers here?

Wb: Hope so. Have you ever seen the way surfers get the hair out of their face with that sexy head shake? Yum! I dated a surfer growing up. It provided excellent research.

MW: Oh, that head shake...it really is nice. Yeah, I live so far from the beach, we never had any surfers. Hmmmm, oh well, you can't have everything I guess. So, what's the first story you read?

Wb: Wide Awake and The Submissive. Didn’t everyone start that way? LOL. Somewhere in the beginning was Waiting for Dawn. I thought it was so much better than Breaking Dawn.

MW: Hm, I never read that Waiting one, but Wide Awake and The Submissive...yummy. Two of my favorite kinds of Edward's in those ones. Hey, who is your favorite actor or actress?

Wb: I think Meryl Streep is amazing, but who doesn’t? For someone a little younger? I really like Carey Mulligan.

MW: Wow, big guns, huh? You know, Meryl was on tv the other night, in that Mama Mia movie. She was great.

Wb: Never saw that one, but I heard it was great.

MW: Yeah, it has that hottie Colin Firth and also the Amanda girl that played Lily Kane in the tv show Veronica Mars. I loved that. Oh! Speaking of favorites, what’s your favorite fan fic story and why?

Wb: My favorite is probably When Darkness Turns to Light. There is something just so incredibly HAWT about the whole emo thing. Loved it. I have a movie that Amanda girl is in right now called Dear John with Channing Tatum. HELLO? Where has he been all my life? I digress. Darkness Turns to Light is a great fic! I mean WHEN Darkness Turns to Light. Geez, I mention a hot guy and my brain turns to mush.

MW: Oh, Channing... You know, I'd never heard of him until I saw that movie. Ugh, I need to see that again...him in those fatigues...yummmmm... But yes, your story...I'm sure it's great. **stares at Wandb** I don't know how you pick just one favorite. I can't, they're like potato chips, I can't have just one. Or shots at a bar. Or hottie surfer boys... Wow, those guys out there are hot!

Wb: Yeah, I have a lot of favorites too.

MW: Nice. Maybe we should get some music going. I have a nice stripper mix that guys usually like, we can start with that. So, do you listen to music while you write? Does music inspire your stories in any way?

Wb: I don’t listen to music, which is odd because I’m really into music. I need complete silence to do any work. It’s strange, but if I have anything else to listen to, my mind wanders. That being said, I do picture music in certain scenes in my fics, and I’ll often cite the songs. For example, if they are dancing to a sexy song, I definitely can hear the song in my head as I write.

MW: I get that, totally. Hey, I think the guy that just came in from that last wave is looking at you. The blond over there...in the wetsuit. He's cute...

Wb: I definitely wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers.

MW: No way. Here, I'll rub some tanning oil on your back, you can lean forward and squish your boobs together while I do, he'll like that. So, how did you come up with the idea for your stories?

Wb: A lot of them are based on my personal experiences (I was kind of a crazy girl when I was younger). But a few have come to me in dreams. For this one, I wanted to do something where there was admiring from afar happening. I thought of having Edward be the lifeguard, but my beta suggested I switch it up.

MW: Yeah, I totally loved it, I thought it was great to have Edward surfing and looking all pretty out in the water, while Bella watched him from afar. I know I would be, whether it were my job or not. **giggles** So, if you could make smexy times with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?

Wb: I absolutely loved the Edward in Surviving the Rain, but a very close second would be the Edward from What Happens Now. In Surviving the Rain, Edward is this guy who’s overwhelmed with being famous, but he’s such a good guy! Yum! The exact opposite is true with the Edward in What Happens Now. He evolves into complete yumminess as the story goes on, and who hasn’t dreamed about being the one to tame the bad boy?

MW: Oh yeah, bad boys are super fun. I'm thirsty. You want something to drink?

Wb: Wine! I love all kinds.

MW: Well, you're in luck! I mean, I never go anywhere without my fancy flask full of liquor, but today I just so happened to bring a box of wine and some plastic cups. Darn lifeguards and their "No glass on the beach" rule. Whatever. I mean, five broken wine bottles after a crazy game of strip bonfire building and they get all mad.

Wb: They're moody lie that. I mean like. I guess I need wine more than I thought.

MW: Can you ever have too much wine? Really? So, who is your favorite character to write?

Wb: Bella. I like strong Bella's. You won’t find any shrinking violets in my stories. I also like Rosalie. You’ll see if you read my stuff that when I introduce her, she’s usually a good reality check for Bella. I like that. Everyone needs a friend like that.

MW: I do love a mouthy Rosalie... You know, sometimes I even love a smutty Rosalie when Edward's been very naughty. But I only like that if he's not in love with Bella yet, you know? I mean, they make all kinds of pretty in a lemon... **winks at Wandb**

Wb: Yeah, Emmett's not so bad either.

MW: Yeah, he's all big and muscly and hot...so good. Hey, what's your favorite kind of car?

Wb: If I said Volvo, would you laugh? Seriously, probably a Range Rover. My car is in the shop and just last weekend I forked out over $1400 for the damn thing. So right now, any car but my own is my favorite!

MW: I feel your pain...trust me. :D Wow, that's a really big swell. I think that blonde from earlier is waving to you from out there. I hope he doesn't wipeout... So, as he rides along there, hopefully not running into anyone else, how did you meet and get your beta?

Wb: I have two awesome betas, Viola Cornuta and TwiHart. I was first introduced to TwiHart through a friend from a mothering board I frequent. My friend knew I was having a hard time getting started and finding help. TwiHart and I have been a great team ever since, and oddly, I don’t even keep in contact with the girl who introduced us. My other beta Viola Cornuta was a reader of mine, who I asked to beta for me. Thankfully, she said yes!

MW: That's so sweet. :) You know, I think those mothering boards are pretty popular. I met some girls on those, too. :D That's how I found fanfic. :D You think they got a concession stand here or something? I'm starving. How about ice cream?

Wb: I've been on this massive gelato kick lately. I never understood the difference between that and ice cream. But I do still love me so Pralines n Cream or Cookies n Cream ice cream.

MW: Hmmmm, that sounds yummy. And oh, look at the hottie working behind the counter. He can scoop me up any day. Or I mean scoop up my ice cream. **winks at the cute ice cream scooping boy** So, how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?

Wb: I swear, it’s the best feeling! I’m a little known author, so when I get a rec, I’m totally over the moon about it! It makes me feel amazing to know that my readers are connecting with my characters. As I write, I get very involved with my characters, and I absolutely love it when people see the same things in them that I do. I also love it when readers have a completely unexpected reaction. So much fun!

MW: Yeah, that is nice. Almost as nice as those guys over there throwing the football around. You think we should ask if we can play with them?

Wb: Yep! I played Powder Puff in high school as a defensive lineman. In college, I played flag football as an outside linebacker. I’m too slow to run with the ball, and my throwing arm is ghastly.

MW: Oh, well maybe we can just get them to tackle us, after we've finished our ice cream, that is. **waves and wiggles boobs toward the hot football players**

Wb: I like your way of thinking!

MW: Yeah, I kinda think that way all the time. I can't help it. So, which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?

Wb: I liked Eclipse the best, although I was NOT happy when Bella kissed Jacob. I thought Breaking Dawn was okay, but only because I like HEA. I thought the whole birth thing was absurd. Bella’s change should never have happened like that. Also, I thought the book spent WAY too long in Jacob’s POV. It was annoying. And don’t even get me started on Renesmee (both her name and the whole Jacob thing). Hmmm…maybe I didn’t like it after all. LOL.

MW: Oh yeah, Eclipse was good. It has Angry Edward... **shivers with delight at the thought of that** Hey, who is your celebrity crush?

Wb: I have to say Robert Pattinson because yeah…but beyond him? I think Henry Cavill is adorable. Seriously, have you seen The Tudors? **shudders**

MW: Isn't he gonna be Superman or something? Nice. But will he sparkle? That's all I wanna know... I mean, Rob is pretty amazing...as my huge RobPorn stash can testify. It takes up a whole bedroom now. It's so pretty... You should see the RPattz curtains I ordered on line. Hmmmmm...

Wb: If you happen to have any of that RobPorn electronically, I know someone who might be interested in a few pics. My...uh...friend.

MW: Oh yeah, my Smart Phone is so smart, I've cataloged my entire collection on it. It might take a few days to get through, though, 'cause it's so big. **hee-hee-hee** Just so that your "friend" is aware. I've got the pics labeled by shirt color, hair length, finger bending, scuffed up shoes, facial scruff, and percentage of dumb foundedness that is caused by it. It's a good system, really thorough,and those are just a few of the categories...you'd be surprised.

Wb: That makes you my new best friend! :)

MW: Nice. :D So, since we're being so friendly, if you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?

Wb: That’s a tough one. I think getting a beta is extremely important. You need someone who will tell you when something just isn’t working. My betas know that sometimes they have to hurt my feelings in order to help me, and I appreciate the honesty. Also, I think being involved and responsive to readers is really important. Listen to the feedback and put your ego on the back burner.

MW: So true...so true... Look at those women over there, all decked out in their itsy bitsy bikini's and stripper heels. Please, like any of these surfer boys would look at them when they could be looking at us. I'm so sure...

Wb: I know, right?

MW: Yeah, whatever. Besides, they'll be picking sand out of those shoes for days. :D Hey, if you were in a beauty pageant, what would your talent be?

WB: I’m a huge singer. Can’t get me to shut up. I’ll sing for anyone who will listen.

MW: Nice. Singing's fun. You ever played Strip Karaoke? It's fun... **glances down at the sand in thought** You know, I play a lot of strip games... Huh.

Wb: Can't say I've ever played that one...but I AM having a karaoke birthday party this weekend. Maybe I should give it a try!

MW: You totally should. Just remember to wear lots of layers if you don't sing so well. Or not so many if you want people to really like you... :D And liquor is always a fun addition to the mix. :D Hey, which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?

Wb: Jasmine. I’m not shy, nor am I frail or helpless. I’m pretty outspoken, so yeah, Jasmine.

MW: Nice. You should totally dress up like her for Halloween this year. I've got a see through corset that would be perfect for you!

Wb: Perfect!

MW: Yeah, you'll love it. So, what is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?

Wb: I love the creativity! I’m always amazed at what people come up with. Also, I like the sense of camaraderie.

MW: Creativity is good. Especially the creative ways these boys find to slither out of their wet suits. Dang, that one didn't hold his towel up quite high enough. I think I might be in love...

Wb: Tan lines are a very good thing. They remind me that I'm seeing something I shouldn't be seeing.

MW: Oh yeah...like, the unknown...the forbidden...the naughty parts... :D They are fun. :D Hey! What’s your favorite item on a relish tray?

Wb: Olives. I can eat them by the pound. Oddly, I’ve never met anyone impartial to olives – people either love them or hate them.

MW: Oh, I love olives, especially green ones. And all the better that sometimes they come in my drinks. It's like dinner and a drink, all in one! :D

Wb: I agree! Hmmm...I kinda want a Bloody Mary right about now.

MW: Yum, that does sound good. Well, maybe we should start packing up our stuff, let the boys know we're ready to go, give them a chance to get over here with their phone numbers for us. Oh yeah, what is your favorite ALMOST curse word?

Wb: Cheese and Rice. It’s a regular in my repertoire.

MW: Cheesy rice...oh great, now I'm hungry. :D Hey, if you could be any other person in the world, who would you be and why?

Wb: I’d want to be a contestant on American Idol. I would have loved to do something like that, but it wasn’t around when I was eligible (am I dating myself?).

MW: Oh no, honey, American Idol's been on forever, I think Ryan Seacrest is the new Dick Clark, he'll never show his age.

Wb: I should have been a lifeguard - then I'd get a free license to stare at these hotties.

MW: You know it. All this hot, wet, man meat out here...it feels like I've died and gone to Heaven. Hey, if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Wb: Welcome! Suffice it to say my naughty thoughts alone won't get me there!

MW: :D Oh man, I hope we still get to have those naughty thoughts when we're there. I mean, angels are supposed to be hot, right? All muscles and toned abs? Like those guys there, out in front of that little shack thing. The ones watching us with binoculars...

Wb: You mean the guys on Tower 32? Yeah, they're hot.

MW: Yeah, let's go meet them. Here, I'll act like I'm feeling faint, and judging from the 6 pack on that dark headed one...I just may not have to act. Here, I'll lean on you and act all helpless, and you yell to them.

Wb: Always thinking, I like that!

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Make sure not to miss the story review over on the IndieFicPimp site, and leave Wandb some love after you read her story. She'll like it... :)

Mean Mrs. Mustard is Drowing, Not Waving by Bower-Of-Bliss!

2011-10-18T21:10:00.000-04:00

I’m not exactly sure how I even came across this week’s rec but I’m glad I did. I haven’t read but a few drabble fics since chapters are extremely short. I suppose that is the point of a drabble though. Drowing, not waving by Bower-Of-Bliss has my attention.

Bella is teaching a Daddy and Baby swim class. When new daddy, Edward, joins the class she has to squelch the attraction she has for him because one, she is the teacher, and two, he is unavailable.

With the shirt fully removed, I can see Edward also has a light dusting of chest hair over his amazing pecs. I note that he also has a tattoo on his right bicep. I can't quite make out what it is, but it looks like wings.

Rosalie Cullen interrupts my perving by passing baby Emily to me. I wasn't even aware she'd been taken out of her pushchair, let alone stripped of her outer clothing.

"I'm really so sorry we were late," Rosalie says placing Emily into my waiting arms. "Originally, we were going to start Milly's lessons next Sunday, but Edward's meeting was rescheduled. With our morning free, we took a chance and called to see if we could make the last class. We were running on time, but then Milly decided that she wanted a feed before we left."

As she is speaking, I can hear that Rosalie has a much stronger accent than Edward does.

"That's fine, but did you just call her 'Milly?' I thought I heard Alice call her 'Emily'."

"Oh, she's both actually. Edward nicknamed her Milly the day she was born. It's kind of stuck with her ever since."

Edward descends the ladder and smiles as he takes Milly from my arms. As he walks toward James and Laurent, he holds her aloft so that she is staring down at him from above. She smiles broadly, revealing small, white teeth that have not long broken the surface of her lower gum.

Edward lowers Milly so they are face to face and she reaches forward with her chubby little hands to grasp his cheeks.

Milly then brings her face close to his and squeals, "Ded-ded-ded-ded-ded," before smacking her hands excitedly on his cheeks. She then moves her mouth close to his nose, but at the last second, Edward flinches.

"I don't think so, Milly. My nose is still sore from when you bit me first thing this morning," he says in mock chastisement.

Milly then giggles and goes back to smacking him on the cheeks. He gently grasps Milly around both of her tiny wrists with his thumb and forefinger, and then he kisses her on the hand.

"That's enough of that for now. Bella's going to teach you how to swim."

Both Edward and Milly look over and smile at me.

*Boom*

Lemme guess…right ovary?

({'}) Yup.

"Okay, just watch James and Laurent, so you can copy the actions. Do you know how to sing, 'Five Little Ducks'?" I ask, my voice sounding somewhat squeaky.

"Sure do," Edward replies.

We start to sing and move in a circle.

Five little ducks went out one day

Over the hills and far away…

Edward Cullen has an incredible singing voice, and it does strange things to my body. I know that I am wetter than ever, because even when I am standing waist high in a pool of water, I can usually hear Libby's voice.

However, right now… all I can hear is a gargling sound.

The above preview of the fic is actually chapter 17, and is one of the longer ones. Oh, and the ({‘}) is Bella’s hoo-hah speaking. Libby, said hoo-hah, is very entertaining.

While the summary states and chapters are written to seem as though Edward is married to Rose, I think there is something going on. This is what keeps me coming back for more. I have to know if Edward and Rose are married and love each other or something entirely different is happening at home with the two. It is actually driving me nuts because it is a drabble fic and the short chapters hardly give anything away. Bower-Of-Bliss is keeping on my toes, this is for sure.

Drowning, not waving is cute, funny, and the UST is becoming painful. There are currently 72 chapters, but remember they are drabbles. I’d say it would take 45 minutes to read through all of them, at most. The fic is not complete, but Bower-Of-Bliss updates every couple of days.

Go. Read. Enjoy!

Mean Mrs. Mustard wants to know if you're Folling Faith by Jen328!

2011-10-11T19:44:00.000-04:00

I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know who recommended Following Faith by Jen328 to me recently. If I did, I would bake them a batch of cookies, minus my usual arsenic, to thank them.

Following Faith is the story of Bella, who uproots her entire life in Washington to move to North Carolina to start over. On the day of her move she meets Edward at a local coffee shop and they are immediately taken with each other, but Bella, having just gotten out of a long-term relationship isn’t looking for any sort of relationship now.

Luckily she has no problem making friends, as her next-door neighbors seem to fall in love with her ’67 Camaro SS. I don’t know much about cars (although I do watch Top Gear), but I Googled it and it was hot. No wonder Rosalie and Emmett both began gushing over it. Needless to say when Rosalie and Emmett invite her over for dinner one night, in small town North Carolina, there’s only one other person they could have invited to join along – Edward.

"Edward! Hi!" Her voice reflected her shock, and she peered around him, looking into the house. "I didn't expect to see you here. Where are Emmett and Rose?"

Edward grinned, inviting her inside. "Come on in. Rose is in the kitchen, Emmett's out on the deck. I said I'd get the door." He indicated the pastries and the wine in her hand. "Can I take those?"

She handed them over and followed him into the living room. "What are you doing here?"

He looked back over his shoulder, trying to read her face. "Emmett's my best friend. I'm over here most Saturday nights."

"Oh… You just don't seem very surprised to see me, though." She raised an eyebrow at him as they entered the kitchen.

Edward was saved from answering as Rosalie greeted Bella with a big smile. "Bella! You're here! Oh hey, so I hear you've met Edward?"

Bella laughed. "Yup, we met yesterday morning at the café." She looked from Rose to Edward and back, whispering loudly, "I think he's stalking me…"

I know, a lot of you readers probably wish Edward Cullen was stalking you, and this incarnation of him is no different. He’s sweet, caring and owns his own music store in their small town which makes him all the more appealing. Sure, Bella is dealing with her own demons like the death of her beloved father Charlie and the end of her relationship with Sam, but she is soldiering on.

So far I’m really enjoying the story, which is only 10 chapters in, and the versions of Bella and Edward that Jen328 has created. Their romance is just starting to blossom and I thoroughly enjoy some of the other characters she has weaved into the story especially Mike and Jessica, which is rare in fic.
Go check it out, you won’t regret it.

Mr. Boody gives you a little Vinyl from 107yearoldvirgin!

2011-10-03T15:24:00.000-04:00

When friends (and coworkers) take things to the next level, what do you expect? A little awkwardness, a lot of passion, a hook up in the back office... a hooker in the back parking lot and zany antics of your fellow coworkers? Sure, why not?! This, my friends, is the (sadly brief) tale of Vinyl, by 107yearoldvirgin. I heard about this little gem from a friend, and I devoured it in a day. It's complete, so you won't be gagging for an update, although you will be wishing it were longer than thirteen chapters.

Bella is the assistant manager of Vinyl, a music store that is owned by Carlisle, a spurned ex-member of a rather memorable band. Bella's best friend is Edward, and one night, they take things to the next level, having some hot lovin' neither one of them want to forget. Oh yeah, they want more of that stuff...

Time stilled and then stopped completely as I held my breath and waited; back to his front. The pull from him to me was electric and I knew at any second we would cross the line again.

With the quiet rustle of fabric, I felt his hands release my hair and then regather it in his steady fist, sliding it over my shoulder. And then his mouth was on my neck and I was glad that my eyes were already closed because they were rolling so harshly under the intensity of his touch. Like we'd rehearsed it a million times, my hand lifted and snaked around to the back of his head, pushing a little as he opened his lips and I felt his tongue trace the length of my neck.

"Pants down. Shirt off," he breathed moist and heavy against my skin.

Speaking of moist...

Oh gross. I hate that word.

He was making quick work of the button on the front of my jeans with his fingers, his elbows pressing into my hipbones while he fumbled.

I slapped his hands away, "I got it," gripping the zipper myself and opening my eyes to look over my shoulder at him, noting the look on his face as I shifted the denim away from my skin. He was impatient, his fingers slipping into the waistband and tugging them downward, causing me to pitch forward and brace my palms against the desk.

Ass out.

Head thrown back.

He shimmied the jeans down over my thighs and calves, grunting as he squatted to yank on them roughly. "How the hell do you get into these in the morning?"

I laughed, pushing up on my toes as he greedily tugged and pulled, hands unsteady as he removed my shoes and then slid the rest of the pants all the way off.

"There it is," he sighed, nuzzling his chin against my right butt cheek. "I missed the view."

"Shut up!" I huffed, another laugh escaping my mouth. Until it turned into a moan. Because he gripped my hips, digging into the soft flesh there again as his lips came into contact with my spine. One hot exhale and I felt the soft wetness of his tongue hit my tail bone and travel the entire length of my spine as he moved his palms upwards, under my shirt, until it was up and over my head. Off on the floor.

I was butt ass naked in the office at work.

Yes please. I'd take more of that. My boss would be traumatized for life. Hell, I'd be traumatized, but a Vinyl Edward would make it better... But I digress.

There's a secret too, or rather, several secrets; some are hilarious, some will test their relationship, and yes, some involving a lady of the night. I think you'll get a kick out of a punked out Alice, and the way her puppy-dog Jasper handles their particular secret. Hell, you'll get a kick out of the whole gang. Nothing better than a quick fic to make you laugh, am I right? Since it is a story of secrets, so I won't reveal any here, so you'll just have to take my advise and check out this hilarious story.

Or, I'll be like LeVar Burton... But... you don't have to take my word for it!

Guest Reviewer Bugsmama07 tackles What hurts the Most by beegurl13!

2011-09-30T16:40:00.000-04:00

Bugsmama07 tackles beegurl13's What hurts the Most!

Who meets the love of their life at seventeen? To know that they’re it for you and you’re going to spend the rest of your life with them, blissfully unaware of anything or anyone else in the world, except the person who holds your heart? What would you do if they were suddenly gone? Then years later, your whole world imploded on you?

Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan were high school sweethearts, meeting at just the tender ages of seventeen and sixteen. They lived in a bubble all their own until one day Bella ended their relationship and fled to Florida to live with her mother. Bella’s father—Charlie, Edward, their friends and family were devastated and tried everything they could to persuade her to stay in Washington.

I looked at her with pleading eyes, “Alice, you know I loved her right? Did you tell her that? Did you try to make her stay?” Every fiber of my being prayed that she had stood up for me, that she had argues my case with Bella. I hoped that maybe, somehow, Bella would believe the words of love and adoration that I had spoken to her a million times if she heard them reaffirmed by my sister, her best friend.

Edward, after suffering such a massive heartbreak, decides that he isn’t going to let himself get hurt again; using females only as sexual companions and nothing more. During the four year separation from the time he last saw Bella until they’re reunited at his sister’s wedding, Edward drowns his sorrow in sex, using it as his way of controlling his emotions towards love, instilling a way that he won’t be broken as before.

As life moves on, Edward decides to leave the greenery of Washington for the beaches and sunshine, and medical school, of Miami, Florida. A chance encounter would change his world forever.

Bella hid herself away from her previous life in Washington. Deciding that it was in the best intentions of everyone, she left for her mother’s. Life throws you curve balls and Bella tried to deal with it as best as possible. Almost half a decade later, she returns as a favor to Alice to come to her wedding and she sees this as a way to redeem herself and let the Cullen family know the true reasons she left. Knowing she needed to set the record straight, she tells Edward that she couldn’t have ruined his life and his chances as success if she had stayed in Washington, he would have lost everything—his scholarship, his chance to be somebody, would have been lost forever. Bella knew that if she had stayed, later in life, that Edward would have regretted his decision to be with her, out of some twisted sense of obligation. Explaining her reasons to Edward, he understands but still wishes she would have told him the truth and they could have handled it together.

“You don’t know what it was like for me here, Edward. I had you and Alice and my dad, but that was all. Almost every other girl in school hated me because I had you. Boys didn’t want to be my friend because they were afraid of you. Your parents were always nice to me, but I knew I wasn’t enough; they wanted better for you. I missed my mother so much. I mean my dad’s great but sometimes he’s not the easiest guy to talk to, especially about certain subjects.” She reached up and wiped the tears away from her eyes with her free hand then turned to look at me. “I couldn’t hold you back, Edward. I knew you meant it when you said you loved me, that you would marry me one day, but I just couldn’t be the reason you didn’t get your dreams. I couldn’t stand the thought of you hating me one day, too.”

Finally reconciled and trying to move forward, to a future with each other, Edward’s sexual conquests come back and bite him in the ass. Bella’s insecure nature rears its ugly head, and the problems in paradise are already underway for our young couple.

When I looked back toward her, I was surprised to see her staring silently at my phone that she held in her hands. She slid it open, looking at the screen. Her fingers were soon gliding over the buttons and it dawned on me what she was doing—she was looking through my phone book. With each push of her finger, her eyes got mistier, and by the time she was done, tears were falling down her cheeks. I knew what she had seen—all the girls’ names and phone numbers. I hadn’t called any of them in months, but I knew they were still there.

Edward was the ‘playboy’ of Forks High when Bella moved in with her dad. He changed and became everything he thought he could be for Bella. When she abruptly left and Edward headed off to UW, he let his old ways overrule him. As time moved forward and the young lovers meet again, they decide to give it one more go once Edward moves to Florida; stating to take things slow and progress naturally.

Unfortunately, life gets in the way. People are not what they seem and their intentions are not always in the best interests of everyone. Can these two overcome everything thrown at them and survive? Surely, you can’t meet your soul mate at seventeen….. Can you?

Beegurl13 is an amazing author and this story is viable proof of that. These characters are flawed, self-depreciating, gullible but loving, heartbroken and full of promise. As they grow into adults from children and try to navigate the world around them, they soon learn that you don’t always get things your way. They have to learn from mistakes, take advice from friends and learn that not everyone is who they say they are. Her other stories hold promise of soul mates thought to be long lost, new found horizons on the old frontier, forbidden romances, and filled with what it really means to love.

This story is filled with love, heartbreak, humor, and above all, angst; a fabulous read. From the original one shot she wrote for the Broken Fairy Challenge/Unhappily Ever After Contest, to the extended story line, you get everything and then some. Be prepared to cry, laugh, and fall in love with these characters.

Mrs. White gives you a bit of 7 Weeks with yesmrcullen (@yesmrcullen)

2011-09-29T16:17:00.000-04:00

It's the most wonderful time, of the year....

Oh, no, I don't mean Christmas. Seriously? What's so great about a fat guy in a red suit? No thank you. I prefer fall when all those men are running around on a field with shoulder pads and tight pants and helmets... Oh boy. Plus it's a great time for me to bring out my many different cheer leading outfits. I've got them in every color imaginable, you know, so I can fit in no matter what game I'm going to. Speaking of games, I don't have much time this week, which is why I chose a very special story for you. I know you're gonna love it!

7 Weeks by yesmrcullen is the story of high school cheer leader, Bella Swan. She's cute, perky, and oh so smitten with her new boss, the devilishly handsome Edward Cullen. After being hired to babysit his young son, twenty something Edward, in a bit of a drunken haze, makes a move on the virginal Bella. Not only does she like it, she wants more. Each week as she returns to his house to babysit, things go a little farther and a little farther until finally, Gropeward can't control himself around Cheerbella. Cute nicknames, right?

*********

Your arm falls to your side and lands on my knee. I slightly jump at the contact, but you stay calm.

Suddenly, I'm hot and push the blanket off my legs.

"Jesus," you say while staring at my lower torso. I then realize that you must be able to see my spankies under my cheerleading skirt.

I blush and scoot to stand, but your arm moves back to its former position on my now bare leg.

I might have made an embarrassing sound. I'm not sure.

"Where are you going?" you quietly ask, closing your eyes and resting your head on the back of the sofa.

You begin tracing gentle circles with your thumb on my leg.

I close my eyes and try to keep my breathing under control, but your touch sends a signal straight to my vagina. My core heats up.

"Home," I pant.

*********

Things only get hotter from there, and soon enough Bella finds herself sleeping with the boss, and loving every minute of it. What will Bella's dad say if he finds out? What will happen if Edward's son wakes up during the middle of their make out? How will Bella get through each long, endless week without seeing Edward? And honestly, when is he gonna screw her while she's wearing that cheer leading outfit?

*********

I feel like I am in a dream, floating on air. You gently push me further back into the door, pressing your body into mine.

I wrap my hands around your neck and rub my fingers through your hair; a soft moan escapes you.

Your tongue slides against mine, and I whimper.

Your hand glides down my backside and under my skirt. You firmly squeeze my ass, and your leg pushes between my legs.

I moan, grinding against your covered body. I need the friction.

My entire body is on fire. I want more.

You break the kiss, and I'm breathless. I feel abandoned.

I open my eyes and see the desire in your eyes. I know you want more, too.

"We should stop," you pant. I know you are right, but I I feel dejected.

I nod even though I disagree. You step back slightly, and grin.

"Do you know how beautiful you are, Bella?"

*********

I loved this story! It's complete, with short and quick to read chapters. The smut is top notch. As I read, I felt like I WAS Bella. I could totally see each instance as though I was there, getting felt up by Edward myself. The story is good, solid, and not completely fairy tale. It's got real stuff in it, real issues and problems, as well as concerns. There is a bit of an age difference, though not too terrible, so take that into consideration, but seriously, it's an amazing story!!

Do yourself a favor, take a few minutes today and read 7 Weeks. You might find yourself running out to buy a cheer leading outfit or two, or three, or 7 – one for every day of the week!

Now, back to football. I do love watching men beat each other into the ground as they tackle and wrestle around for a ball, trying to get ahead. It's hot. What can I say? Gee, I hope this skirt is short enough to attract some attention... Can I see my bloomers? **turns to check in mirror** Oh yeah, just like I like it!
Wonder if Mr. Green wants to go to a football game tonight? He'll love all that green grass on the field...

Mr. Green brings you what Might Have Been Fukking Worship, Drabbles by Mrs. Robward and beegurl13!

2011-09-21T16:25:00.000-04:00

Hello again my fukking friends. The last time we spoke was in the bathroom… or wait not in the bathroom but I do remember it having something to do with the bathroom. I wasn’t in the fukking bathroom I promise. You get what I mean. Mr. Green is a very fukking busy man this week so he is going to give you a little something short, simple and completely fukking delectable. I have the pleasure of working with these two lovely fukking ladies and they both are currently writing drabbles for one another… the whole; “I now pronounce you fic wifeys until the end bullshit...” They should’ve gotten Mr. Green to preside of their ceremony; that would’ve been one for mother fukking win in my opinion. You know these are going to be fukking good because they are writing for each other *insert gagging noises here*. So I bring you Mrs. Robward’s Might Have Been and beegurl13’s Worship.

Mrs. Robward and beegurl13 are no strangers to anyone especially PIC, after all they’re both one of us. But I for one was a fukking stranger of what is known as a drabble… I’d never read one, hell I’d never fukking heard of one. I decided I’d look up the definition of “drabble” and see what I could find. Lit’ rally the definition of drabble is ‘to make or become wet and dirty’. When I read this I was like hell fukkin ya my kind of thing. I was pretty sure with all the time I’ve heard these lovely fukking ladies spend together that they must be constantly getting wet and dirty… or at least Mr. Green can fukking hope *wiggles eyebrows* okay maybe more than hope. Threesome ladies? Mr. Green will be there with a Green fukking bow on. My favorite thing of “drabbles” or at least fukking these is that nothing is ever given to you completely. Just when you think that you know what the hell is going on, there’s a twist. Gotta fukking love that! Here’s a taste of both:

Might Have Been

i turn my face into the skin of your neck

"come upstairs"

your arms fall lower

your strong hands supporting me

you lift me

my legs wrap around your waist

my arms tighten around your neck

my lips stay against your skin

my tongue sneaks a taste

i whimper at what I've missed

you groan at what you've missed

if only time would slow for us

we could live in love

in paradise

Worship

You don't disappoint. You never disappoint.

I wonder where you learned this.

I wonder if it was with her, with my daughter.

Has she felt your tongue before? Does she cum in your mouth the way I do?

Does she taste like I do?

My body shakes as you push me over the edge. My toes curl. My mouth hangs open, barely holding back a moan.

You stand, pulling me tight against you, kissing me.

I taste myself on your lips, and I want it always.

So that’s it… that’s all you fucking get. They are short, almost poetic like. Hell Mrs. Robward doesn’t even use punctuation or fukking capitalization. Read them and love them cause I sure as fukke do. Tell the ladies I said hi, I’m sure they’d like to know I sent you. Never know I might get some fukking gratitude from them… it would be about fukking time. Haha just fukking kidding ladies so don’t fukking choke me. As for me, I’m gonna sit here and drink my Green Fukking Tea and watch fukking Glee cause my piece is all ready for the boss lady. I’m addicted so fukking sue me. Until next time… Keep it Fukking Green.

Mean Mrs. Mustard gets sweet with the Property of Bella Swan by BellaSunshine!

2011-09-20T13:25:00.000-04:00

You’ve seen them, hell you might be reading all of them out there - the drabble fic. Done properly they can be really compelling, otherwise the daily or hourly updates could make you want to throw your laptop through a window. Property of Bella Swan by BellaSunshine is thankfully one of the most compelling and sweetest drabble fics out there.

In this story, we are taken through individual entries in Bella Swan’s journal, starting at age 13 where she is dealing with the typical things teenage girls through; first crushes, first kisses, bitchy girls, dreading high school and wondering about the state of your parents marriage since everyone else seems to be getting divorced. Since this is Bella’s diary, it’s told only from her point of view, but sometimes I just wanna give the girl a hug.

July 12, 2000

Dear Diary! (that always means something awesome happened!)

EDWARD SPOKE TO ME TODAY!

I'm in heaven.

He's so nice.

Ali and I were at the pool (of course) and I went to the concession stand to get some water and beef jerky. On the way back, this lady dropped her bag and I stopped to pick it up for her, and so did Edward! He laughed because we almost bumped heads! It was so funny! He said he was sorry, and I didn't know what to say! But then he asked if I was having a good summer, and I said yes and he said he'd see me again sometime!

AHHHHH!

Ali almost died when I told her!

Oh my gosh, I wish I could go to Jenks High instead of stupid Jenks Middle this year!

Why couldn't I have been born sooner?

I wonder if Edward thinks it's weird that we keep coming to the public pool when he knows Ali has a pool at home?

Gotta go! Mom and I are going shopping again!

Love,

Bella

P.S. Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Of course Edward is in the story, you didn’t think I would miss pointing out that part right? When we first meet him, he’s a lifeguard at the local pool and a friend of Rosalie’s, Alice’s big sister. Alice is Bella’s best friend and she has a crush on Jasper, so even though Alice & Rosalie’s family have their own pool, they go down to the local pool so Alice and Bella can look at the boys over the summer. Of course, Edward is a few years older than Bella, so her crush is unrequited.

However, I’m holding out hope because the story has recently jumped forward in time. Alice and Bella are in High School and just turned 16. Edward and Jasper are in college and are 18. That age difference isn’t so bad right? I’m looking forward to seeing how BellaSunshine unravels the rest of her fic, which she says will update daily until she’s done.

So, if you like sweetness, T-rated fics and daily updates, this story is for you. Run, go read it and leave a review or 30, since that’s the number of chapters up right now!

Mrs. White comes From My Window by kitkat681!

2011-09-14T15:13:00.000-04:00

Oh, good gravy... I can hardly pull myself away from YouTube long enough to talk to you today. I mean, you've seen the Breaking Dawn part 1 trailer, right? Oh Rpattz...the things you do to me. One of the counters I saw said 64 days until November 18th. I think I'm gonna make a paper link chain...so I can keep better track. I'm so excited...

Okay, so anyway, focusing on fan fic for a minute, do you know what I love? Well, aside from the trailer, Rpattz, and a good lingerie sale. I like things quick, fast, and hard. You can take that any way you want it, but right now I'm talking about fanfiction. Although that's not what I meant the other night when Mr. Green was here...searching for tan lines... Anyway, I found a story that's quick, fast, and hard, and I could not possibly love it more.

From My Window by kitkat681 is the story of a voyeuristic Edward. Every day he stands in his window, waiting for a woman to jog by his house. He can't seem to pull himself away from the sight of her, and he actually finds himself living for those few seconds each day.

Every morning…like clockwork for the last six months she has run past my house.

And God damn do I want a piece of her.

Her long brown hair swaying so gently against her shoulders from the ponytail high on top of her head.

Her black shorts as they creep up her thighs.

Her sorta loose, sorta tight gray t-shirt that comes WAY too low in the front

The headphones stuck in her ears attached to her iPhone or iPod or whatever.

And I know…I see that wedding ring on her finger. I see it.

And I can see that sweet little baby pooch she has going on. I can tell that those tits that are trying to break free from her sports bra are way too big for her little frame. I know she is someone's mommy.

But that does not stop me from wanting her…from watching her.

Edward waits each morning, aching to catch a glimpse of the woman, and soon enough, a glimpse isn't enough. Let's just say a certain body part of Edward's tends to over react a bit when the woman jogs by, and Edward can't keep himself from grabbing it, and wishing it was her hands pulling on him.

She is just beyond words this morning.

I think I may not be playing it off as well as I think I am.

I think she knows I am watching her.

I think she is putting on a show.

I think…

Fuck I think I may be jerking off while standing in front of a curtain-less window in broad daylight.

Yep…

Yep I am.

Cock is out.

Hand is stroking.

Eyes are watching as she slows down slightly as she passes the house.

She knows…

She knows I am watching her.

Dirty girl.

The story is told in short, quick chapters, each one highlighting another moment as Edward watches for his jogging beauty. We get little glimpses into his life along the way, and then soon enough, we get a few peeks into her's, as well. The story's not super long, with all it's short chapters, but it's a fun read with a little surprising twist to it. Trust me, you'll enjoy it.

What I love about this story is the emotion in it. With so few words, the author does an amazing job of relaying the emotions Edward is feeling. The conflict and desire that are constantly running through his mind as he quietly watches this woman each day are intense and come across so crystal clear. I love the way he sees her, thinks about her. I love that he talks to her, even though he knows she can't hear him. I love the guilt he feels over his peeping on her, but the acceptance that he can't stop, not even if he wanted to.

Just when we are really feeling for Edward's situation, wondering who this mystery woman is and how he can possibly be so attracted to her, we get a few glimpses from her POV.

He thinks I don't know.

I know.

He is the whole reason I go this way.

The hills are brutal.

But knowing he is watching me is worth it.

I want him to see me.

I want him to want me.

I want to feel his eyes on my tits…

And my ass…

And actually feel like a woman again.

And not just a mommy…

But as a woman…

Who wants to be fucked…

And fucked hard.

I know he would…

But I can wait.

From My Window is a fun little drabble story that won't take up much time, but will leave you feeling for a confused, guilt ridden Edward, and a wanting, needy Lady Jogger. I can't tell you who the jogger is, that would ruin the fun. You'll have to find out for yourself. And trust me, you won't be disappointed.

Now, it's been a whole six minutes since my last viewing of the Breaking Dawn trailer. YouTube has it in HD, which is awesome because really, Rpattz in HD is always better. Maybe I should call Mr. Green...see if he's seen it. Oh, and Mr. Boody...have you see the body or booty on him? Yum. I wonder if either of them is in HD? I can't wait to find out...

Miss Scarlet asks the question Who's Your Papi...

2011-09-12T11:12:00.000-04:00

Today, we're getting dirty. Smutty. Dare I say a little lemony?

Fetishes are something that people have but are mostly rarely talked about. There are many out there and just because they are viewed as taboo doesn't mean that they are bad. Some people like to be called names, tied up, or even stepped on with high heels. In Welcome2MyWorldxoxo's story Who's Your Papi, she touches on the life of someone with a fetish and the length's they go to get their needs met.

Bella is a high class call girl. Dealing with clients of caliber and wealth. Bella gives her clients things they aren't getting elsewhere. She likes what she does and isn't ashamed of her body or what she does. She enjoys it. Especially when she gets a client that can satisfy her the way that she satisfies them. When the company she works for gives her a new client that needs to be dealt with discretion, Bella goes all out to fulfill this man's needs.

Edward is a state's senator with a secret. He likes age play. And it is exactly like it sounds. He likes his women to assume the role of someone very, very young. And before you start thinking that it is a form of pedophilia, it is a legitimate fetish. Not necessarily does Edward want to have sex with children. It's quite the opposite. I won't tell you anymore but you should take a look at it for yourself.

I came across this story and had to read it to see what it was about. It's so filled with lemons but it doesn't leave the bitter citrus taste in your mouth. There is a plot lingering there that is dying to come out and it does in the way that Bella and Edward interact during their meetings.

White Mary Jane pumps. Check.

Pink stockings with white bows at the top. Check.

White garters. Check.

White, ruffled panties. Check.

Too small and too tight pink, poofy dress with a corset top. Check.

Pigtails done up in white ribbon. Check.

I smirked to myself in the mirror; someone obviously liked to play Daddy.

Renata and I had talked at length with Rosalie about my client, working out any and all kinks in the contract. The discretion needed for this was of the utmost importance and he had not hesitated in paying me a pretty penny to make sure I was accommodating of his needs.

I had no problems whatsoever with this and I had spent the day preparing for it, getting my mind in the right place to completely immerse myself in my role. I'd read up on the Senator, searching through his history for any little extra tidbits to make this afternoon better than any other call girl had given him so far.

I would give him what he wanted and what he didn't even know he wanted, then hook, line, sinker, he would be mine.

He wouldn't think twice about calling me the next time he was in this part of town and before you knew it, the digits in my bank would grow bigger and a satisfied Senator would represent the State.

I wouldn't lie and say the secrecy of it didn't excite me. Knowing the potential dangers to his career and to my reputation, never mind the reputation of my company, had me a little wet between the thighs.

I liked sex. It was the reason I picked this job out of all the others. Long working hours for meager pay had just never been my thing. I was all about instant gratification, so when I had found out about Blossoms Escort Company, I had not hesitated to make an appointment to get a job there.

Three steady raps on the hotel room door told me that he had arrived. I walked over to the door and peered through the peephole, just to be certain. Tall six foot three build hidden underneath his suit, slicked back brown hair, chiseled jaw and sunglasses.

He looked rather at ease, standing in the hallway waiting for a call girl to let him in. I took in a deep, cleansing breath, leaving me, Isabella Swan, behind and adopting the character of his little girl.

I opened the door and he immediately stepped in, his eyes darkening as they raked over my body. I closed the door behind him and wasted no time in wrapping my arms around his waist and looking up at him from under my eyelashes, my bottom lip poised in a slight pout.

"I've missed you, Papi," I murmured in a small, sweet voice. His eyebrows rose slightly in surprise and I congratulated myself on doing my research and finding out about the many summers he spent in Italy with his grandparents.

His arms snaked around me, dipping underneath the hem of my dress and palming the cheeks of my ass over my panties.

"Have you now?" he purred, his voice low and dripping with sex. I nodded, jutting out my bottom lip further. "Well, we can't have that now, can we?" His gaze penetrated me deeply as he stared into my eyes for a long moment.

"On your knees," he ordered with a swat on my ass and I wasted no time in falling to my knees, making my face level with his crotch. I could see the outline of his cock protunding through his slacks and I licked my lips in anticipation.

He let out a groan and I peered up at him, my expression expectant. He reached down to his belt, slowly unhooking it before popping open the button of his slacks and sliding the zipper down.

Now I'm not going to give you ALL the goods am I? Just go read this and see for yourselves. Let her know we sent you.

Till next time

Mr.Green has a party with Birthday, Bars, & Bathrooms!

2011-09-07T14:16:00.000-04:00

What’s up ladies? No catchy fukking music lyrics for you today, just my irresistible fukking charm to get you going. Are you ready for so soon again? It’s only been five fukking days and here I am again for your viewing pleasure. I hope you all had a lovely long weekend and enjoying the fukking grind like myself as always. I was in the mood for something fukking dirty; so after looking in my box, I came up with Artemis Leana’s fic Birthday, Bars, & Bathrooms. Because following a guy into the bathroom and asking for sex is downright fukking dirty in my opinion, and that’s just in the first chapter.

Artemis does a fabulous job of describing her characters and the way in which they make their way through this journey. This is a Bella/Edward story but it’s not typical. It’s Bella’s birthday and she’s decided to throw caution to the wind and proposition Edward because she just fukking feels like it I guess. He makes eyes at her, or at least she thinks but then she fukking doubts and we all know how doubt works. She puts herself out there, like way fukking out there; as bluntly as fukking possible basically and crosses her fukking fingers, prays to God and just hopes for the very best. I was almost thinking she had some weird mental condition but realized she’s just fukking horny. Here is a big fukking taste of her word vomit:

"It's my birthday!" I stupidly blurted out. I just stood there, after that, wide-eyed and, once again, my mouth hanging open, waiting for my brain to come up with something more clever to say. Nope! Wasn't happening!

His perfect mouth evened out into a genuine grin. "Well, happy birthday!"

I finally managed to remember how to close my mouth and my eyes and shook my head gently, trying to clear some of the fog his presence and sexy mannerisms—okay, and the alcohol—had created. I gathered my courage, opened my eyes, and simply went for it.

"I want you to be my present!"

His eyes seemed to pop out of his head, his other eyebrow flew up to join its twin, and his mouth dropped open but he recovered much quicker than I ever did. He shook his head and looked as if he were about to say something. I panicked! I didn't want him to tell me "No." I could handle a lot of rejection—I was sort of a pro at it by this point in my life—but not from him. Not here. Not tonight.

I leapt slightly forward and threw my hands in the air, fingertips pointing up and palms facing him, in a sort of "I come in peace" manner, then started rambling so fast I could only hope I was actually speaking English.

"I know this is really, really weird, and I can assure you that I've never done anything like this before. But it's my birthday. And I'm alone! And you're really good looking!" He chuckled, but I just kept right on babbling. "And it's been a really long time for me—I'm practically a virgin again, it's been so long—" I mumbled that last part, allowing my frustration to show "—and I just really think I'd like what you could do to me! I already like what you're doing to me!"

He had closed his mouth when I started my word vomit, but at that last confession, he opened it again and made to speak. I once again cut him off from speaking, too afraid I was losing this battle. The pitch and volume of my voice was slightly higher when I began to speak again, and there was a note of desperation to my tone that I didn't care to examine at this point.

The words began flying from my mouth even faster than before. "I know I'm nothing to look at—my hair and eyes are the wrong color, my ass is too fat, my breasts are too small—but if you'll do this for…to…me, you don't even have to look at me. I don't mind doggy, or even bent over the sink." This revelation had him raising both his eyebrows again and bringing back the lopsided smirk.

"I don't care if you think about someone else while you fuck me, and you don't have to kiss me or have any other contact with me other than what's necessary." This comment induced a mild choking and coughing fit from him, but again, he quickly recovered, and I soldiered on.

"And I don't want anything from you! I promise I'm not some kind of psychotic stalker or anything! I don't even want to know your name, nor do I want to give you mine. In fact, there's no need for us to ever have anything to do with each other after this. If I were ever to encounter you in public, I'd probably make it a point to ignore you." He's scowling. Why is he scowling? Oh, God. He's going to refuse! Did he think I actually was some kind of stalker chick? Did he think he'd be taking advantage of me? Or was he simply not attracted to me? "I'm not too drunk!" I finally stopped talking after I practically screamed that last bit at him, my hand flying up to cover my mouth and the little squeak that I couldn't stop.

He stood there staring at me for a moment before he frowned and asked, "Are you done?”

Yep. She fukking went there. Aren’t you curious to see what our dear Edward says? I bet you could hear a fukking pin drop in that bathroom or crickets chirp. Seriously, can you say fukking awkward? I have to say that this scene stuck in my fukking head long after I read it. I pondered it over while I drank my nightly cup of Green fukking Tea and I even went back and read it again. Then I Mr. Green decided to share with all of you his fukking appreciation for it by reading it again and flapping his fukking trap about it. I honestly think you will fukking enjoy this one, and lucky for you it’s just getting started. With five chapters so far and less than hundred reviews; let’s show this fic some fukking love! So your instructions for this week are as always; read, fukking enjoy and leave the author some love. As always I appreciate when you tell them I sent you but only if you want to, you never know when I might get the chance to share my talents with all these awesome authors. I’m happy to report that Mrs. White doesn’t have any tan lines that I can find but just to be thorough I’m going back for another fukking look. Until next time… Keep it Fukking Green.

End of the Summer Week! Mr. Boody ends our week with some Highlighting of a Hot Summer!

2011-09-04T20:58:00.000-04:00

So how have you enjoyed our week of highlighting the fics that remind us just how HOT summer can be?

I decided to do something different to end our week, well truth be told, I actually went on a one shot reading frenzy this summer. And one of the reasons I did so was because of all the one shot contests that were held celebrating the summer season!

So, I’m going to direct you to a few of the contests that made my days and nights, even hotter! For each contest I picked fics at random to highlight....

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I’m going to start it out with Schools Out 4 Summer hosted by TwiGirls Next Door! If you are interested in finding out who won, you can search the FFn profile and all the winners and their entries are posted there, but I say, still go ahead and read all 9 entries. You can read things like:

Edward sits down on the Love Sac and munches on his sandwich. He's trying to stay out of it. I don't know how he'll manage it, though, since Alice always seems to get her way. She's always been a little spoiled.

"Okay," says Alice, hopping up and standing in front of the massive TV. Jake scowls at her, and she levels him with a stare. It's really effective. "We'll try to pass off Jake as Mexican, but if that doesn't work-"

"It won't," pipes in Emmett.

"If that doesn't work," she repeats, then shoots fireballs at Emmett this time, "Edward will bring his cock as a peace offering."

Edward sighs and drops his head. "Fine. No one's going to believe Jake's Mexican anyway, even if you dressed him up. So, don't bother. I'll just kiss my cock goodbye before we go."

Alice jumps up and down and shouts about Edward being her favorite brother. He's her only brother. Whatever. ~ Tejano Disco Cock

Or how about a little love of chocolate to go with your summer?

But the best part about Edward was that he loved chocolate. I almost choked on my cutlet when he said that. "No fucking way. I think it's meant to be." I didn't really mean to say that, but chocolate was just... it was chocolate. I loved it more than I loved anything in the world. Even Rosalie. It was always there for me when I needed it (though I tried not to need it too much).
Chocolate was so sweet and rich and reliable, who couldn't love it.

Edward laughed. "Yeah, it's always there for me when I need it. So reliable. I don't care if I sound like a chick on PMS, it's fucking amazing," he stated, grinning at me. I nodded slowly, reverently.

I couldn't really speak after that, too blown away by our connection through chocolate. The bill was paid, by the boys because they insisted, and right before we left, I remembered the camera in my purse. I called for everyone to stop, and snapped a picture of the boys alone, then one of all four of us. Then I decided it was okay to depart and we left the restaurant. Not wanting to part, we headed to the boys room, where Emmett ordered two bottles of wine with his father's card.

Three hours and two bottles later, we were feeling the alcohol. I mean, Rose and I had done our share of drinking and while we weren't drunk by any means, we were good and tipsy with the numb lips. Emmett had cracked Rose's cool demeanour, and they were chatting happily about cars, snuggled up together against the pillows on the king sized bed that the two boys shared. Edward and I sat on the floor against the bed, finishing off the last of the wine. I was giggling and he was just smiling like he owned the fucking world. ~Cedar Rapids

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Next we have the Boys on Boards Contest hosted by anniej13 and Chicklette. So, so many good one shots in this contest! Voting is over, winners are announced on profile. But this is how they describe their contest:

It’s summertime, and the living’s easy….

Sunshine. Surf and Sand. Skaterboys flipping ollies. Surfer boys riding waves, sun shining

down, water drying on their tanned skin…c’mon, you know you want them, and we do too!

We want your sexy skater boys and gorgeous surfer boys. They can be hot and dirty, sweet and

sexy, stoned and silly – but they must be on a skateboard or a surfboard. You can write about

any pairing, slash is okay, but since this is the BOYS on boards, please no femmeslash.
I mean! HELLO! Just read....

"What exactly," I asked, "are we doing here?""You have an empty pool. I know of a few deviants who are in need of one," Rosalie said, and she pointed across the lot.I assessed the situation. Among the testosterone-fueled flailing limbs and shouts there was a much slower, disheveled looking group of four. Each of them was loosely holding a skateboard, walking with slow long strides in a loose crowd with loose ties around their tanned necks. They looked slow and lazy in contrast to the other kids flying about. They looked cool and bored, each of their gazes steady and ahead of them, and I knew who they all were: Jasper Whitlock, Emmett McCarty, Ben Cheney and Edward Cullen. Each was kicked out of Forks High for various acts of delinquency ranging from truancy to lewd acts on school property to being busted at school with an illegal substance or two.Jasper jumped on Emmett's back and pointed toward me and Rosalie. Edward Cullen looked right at me then; though his expression never wavered, his eyes went slowly up and down my body, which was still awkwardly perched on the handlebars. His eyelids were heavy and sweat was already starting to dampen the hair at his temples. The rest of his hair was a dark mess of curls and spikes and cowlicks. I wanted to run up to him and tug on that hair and sniff the back of his neck.You see, Edward Cullen was one of those boys who was always busy doing something; probably something illegal. But- no one was ever sure what he was busy doing. If he shows up at a party, he'll leave suddenly and all he'll say is, "I got something to do" or whatever. You know he screws chicks like crazy, and you know he's a slut, but you don't know anyone who has actually slept with him. You've heard he's been arrested like, seven times, yet the reasons why are never consistent. He was like some dirt bag, some hot, intimidating enigma that is a staple around town… even if you've never actually spoken to him. Everyone knows everything about him, yet no one knows anything about him. Edward Cullen was one of those guys."I said rebellion, not heart suicide," Rosalie hissed in my ear. ~For When I’m Gone

I won’t even tease you with the entries about our favorite Twi men WET on a surfboard! Just go read.

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Next up is Hot Summer Nights hosted by LustLikeTequila and UrNotFukinKStew. I think the name says it all, huh? Go check out the winners and the rest of the entries!

We walked along the lake as a cool breeze swept by, fingers intertwined, enjoying another summer night together. I stopped at the swing and pulled Bella down to sit on my lap. She sat facing me, resting her head on my shoulder as we swung back and forth.

Jasper's talk made me wonder what would happen when I had to go back to school. I had about a month left before I needed to think about that. It was in the back of my mind but I decided to live in the moment and enjoy my time with Bella tonight and the rest of the summer. I just hoped she had the same feelings as me.

We sat on the swing for a while just enjoying being in each other's arms. Bella lifted her head and looked deep in my eyes startling me a little. There was something there that I never saw before. I wasn't sure what it was, but I had a very good idea.

Bella's lips lowered to mine and I was lost in the heat of the kiss. She always tasted so sweet, like cinnamon sugar. She traced my bottom lip with her tongue then slipped it in my mouth. Her tongue twisted and tangled with mine as she gently caressed it with hers.

Her tiny hands wrapped around my neck trying to bring me closer. She rubbed against my now very hard erection as her lips left mine to trail wet kisses along my jaw and back up again. Her lips took hold of my earlobe and I thought I might just come in my pants. ~Building Love

See?! HOT SUMMER NIGHTS!!!! Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

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Last, we have the TFA Summer Fantasy Contest hosted by the ladies of the Twilight Fanfic Advocacy.

Voting ends for this contest on September 11th!!! YES! Plenty of time!

Here’s how the ladies describe their contest:

Can we tell you a secret? We have this fantasy where we're laying poolside working on our tans and watching our secret crushes swim. The next second they're standing over us, water dripping down their rippled form and splashing against our over heated bodies. They ask if they can put lotion on us and when their hand touches us...
Well, you get the idea.

The lovely ladies here at Twilight Fanfic Advocacy are excited to announce our first ever contest and since it is the hottest time of the year, we wanted to heat things up here as well with our Summer Fantasy Contest. We want your one shots that are written about a fantasy of the character of your choice. It can be about any other character, we don't care. We just want to see what you fantasize about. Perhaps the object of your obsession doesn't know you exist (or do they). You're sitting, standing, waiting in line, in the shower, ext., and start to fantasize about your crush.

What's your wildest fantasy? We want hot, sizzling action. We want you to think outside the box, hell be in the box if that's your thing.

I think we all have some tucked away fantasies of our favorite fanfic characters, right?

Obviously that wasn't his real name; his name was Edward. A fact I had learned by overhearing him answer his phone one morning. I remembered how the sound of his deep, silky voice uttering the simple, "Yes, this is Edward," had set my stomach to fluttering, my lady-bits to twitching, and my brain to cease functioning. I had only known his real name for about a week, but I'd been calling him Mr. Twenty-fifth floor for the previous two months—since the day he had moved in and my stalker-like obsession began—and it was a hard habit to break now.

Like every good stalker, I felt compelled to become as familiar with his daily patterns as I could. It had taken me a few weeks, but I was able to nail down the details of his standard comings and goings. He went for a run from five to six-thirty every Saturday morning—during the week he ran from four-thirty to five-thirty—and then left for some mystery location from one to five in the afternoon. I didn't think it was work he went to on Saturday because he was always dressed casually in jeans and a tee-shirt—but still deliciously and perfectly put together. Sundays were his grocery shopping days, but he never left at the same time, and I wasn't Mark David Chapman insane enough to follow him to the store—this information was an accidental discovery.

I had also learned that at precisely seven every weekday morning he boarded the elevator to leave for work. I didn't know what he did for a living, or where he worked, but he came home at exactly six every evening. Wouldn't you know that was my schedule too! I didn't always make it home in time to ride with him in the evenings, but I made sure I was available to share a cab down with him every weekday morning.

I wasn't a runner, and had never been a huge fan of getting up before nine on the weekends, but I always managed to find some excuse to be in the main lobby of the building at five every Saturday morning. If nothing else ever came of my crazy obsession with my upstairs neighbor, I was now very good friends with the morning doorman, Felix. His wife bakes some of the best cinnamon rolls I've ever tasted!

Whenever we shared the elevator, neither Edward nor I would ever speak to each other. I had never even allowed my eyes to wander much further than his incredibly idyllic, impossibly soft looking lips. What I wouldn't do to be able to take his slightly-fuller-than-the-top-one bottom lip between my own and suck on it till it turned from the deliciously delicate pink it normally was to a bright, throbbing, rose color. Then everyone would know that Edward had been well and truly kissed.

Truth be told, I would like to leave him looking thoroughly fucked as well. But that would require a level of contact I haven't been able to psych myself up to as of yet. Instead, upon entering the compartment, I would assume my position in the corner opposite the one Edward would already be huddled in. It was here, in this little ninety-degree angle of glass and metal that I would spin my internal stories of what I would do to, and with, Edward. If only I had the courage to do either.
As I locked my door and made my way down the hall, I let my mind slip into one of my favorite ruminations about my bronzed-headed Adonis of an elevator companion. In my private, self-generated, mental pornos I tasted Edward; all of him.~What I Wouldn’t Do

There are many more of this fantasies where that one came from, so go and indulge yourselves a read a few.. or all of them. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.