My husband and I do not have biological kids of our own. We were going to try but then I got very sick and by the time I was cleared with a clean bill of health our chances had  vanished. We marched on and carved our way into a different life from others. We were the couple that had a lot pets and lots of DIY projects…and we were happy with that.

I never really felt the clock ticking and truly accepted the idea of no children in our lives and I was fine with that. However I did feel a pull to help children I believe in signs and look for signs to validate my intuitive side. So as the pull grew stronger I looked around in my life. In the next month I picked up clients that were foster parents, social workers or had adopted a baby in need. I began to meet people and as our conversation began it eventually lead to discovering that they were foster parents.

I took these signs as encouragement and began to research agencies and after interviewing several found one that felt right. I then had a conversation with my husband this was my last sign I was waiting for if he was not on board I knew that the time may not be right and I should put it aside until the right time presented itself.

My first conversation with my husband his response was “no” and so I knew the time was not right and filed my paperwork away in my file named “to consider”. After a week my husband said he changed his mind and wanted to begin the process.

We trained and readied ourselves for the new adventure initially we thought a 3 or 4 year old child but after our training and much to our surprise we began our journey with a newborn baby.

There are many memorable moments in each of our lives and one of the most special event is our beginning state on planet earth. The arrival of a newborn baby brings delightful joy, sleepless nights and a constant state of delirious bliss.  As our first placement arrived everything changed, we awake in the early morning hours finding this little bundle of joy eager to eat and we are slightly startled by the new day for it will be a different day and we welcome the newness with anticipation and a bit of nervousness.

We care for this sweet newborn cherishing each moment, you see we live in a different state of presence. As our placement thrives and grow so does our love for them. But we must remind ourselves that each day is a gift for we have no idea if this baby will stay or this baby’s  journey continues elsewhere.

Placement one is short lived and she is reunited with her family and all is well. We pass this tiny bundle back into the arms of her family we wish for her BIG things in her life and we wish her well. We return home with an empty car seat when we walk into the nursery it seems so quiet and calm. I sit in the rocking chair and allow myself one big sob and I dry my tears and quietly put things away. The baby girl clothes are pulled and I organize the nursery to a gender neutral state.

Placement two arrives 10 days old and full of life. His tiny hands wrap around my finger and I am amazed. How incredibly small and light he feels I am cautious I move him delicately and I marvel at the miracle of life.

We spend many a sleepless nights with Placement two the days are exciting and filled with many lessons. We are getting to know him and he is figuring things out. I greet Placement two each morning with the phrase “ We get to spend another day together!” I smile and I gently pick him up there is a moment we look into each other’s eyes and I tell this little peanut that he is special and he is loved and all will be well.

During the course of several months my husband and I lives become busy and hectic as newborns can be a lot of work. We gather each experience with placement two: the first laugh, lifting head, discovering  hands, discovery of toys and eating yummy puree carrots. We begin to feel like a family and we are happy and grateful to share these wonderful moments with him.

Then one day we get the call Placement Two journey continues on…we know this change will be good for placement two he has his family waiting for him but still our hearts are heavy. This hand off is more challenging we have had more time, more experiences more love….

I ready myself for the next morning we move through our routine and every now and then a tear seems to ease itself out and I sigh this is hard it weighs on me I think to myself,  can I bear this? We both want to do what seemed to be the normal average routine but tonight it will be the last, the last play time, the last bath, the last feed. We move thru each stage slowly and deliberately trying to remember each nuance his smell, his giggle, his everything.

My husband keeps Placement two up longer than the normal sleep hour and I begin to gather his things. I write down his schedule, providing every detail of his day, I go over it again and then again. I want his transition to be smooth as possible and I want his family to know how he spends his day in detail.

He sleeps well and we do not sleep a wink.  I sit in bed listening to his breathing trying to store it in my memory. We awake with weary eyes and I walk into the nursery to greet placement two and today my greeting changes to “ it’s our last day together”  I smile thru tears kiss him and tell him he is kind, beautiful baby and we love him so much. 

The social worker arrives and we wave good bye as the car leaves we turn and walk back into our home the moment we step into our home it already feels empty. I walk into the nursery and sit in the rocker and allow myself one big sob but this time I need more.

I crawl into bed and cry, cry, cry this is really hard. I stay in bed one day and the following morning I ready myself and go thru the nursery. I cry as I organize, I cry as I find that missing sock we were looking for, I cry as I clean his last bottle, I cry till my eyes feel dry.

I carry a heavy heart and I think about that precious little baby all the time.

It’s so difficult to put into words what this process feels like. We try to share our feelings but it is so difficult to describe. The process allows you to live in the present moment, sure you can think about the future but it does not change the present moment. You show up for this little soul with no expectations but to love and be present with each baby.

We know we are meant to do this and so we march on…the next call will come soon enough and a new placement will arrive  and  we think to ourselves here is a new chance to expand our love even more.

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live in every experience, painful
or joyous, to live in gratitude for every moment, to live abundantly.”
~Dorothy Thompson

Planting Peace…Shelley

{images by Jon Ovington and  Storyvillegirl}

{image by kmakice}

Sometimes your life requires you to refocus the ebb and flow process of tasks, obligations, and commitments. Just trying to find out what the essentials can seem impossible. 

Sometimes you want to scream:

“What is the priority??” 

“Should Do I do this?

Should Do I do that?” 

“Someone  tell me what to do!!”

I know that feeling oh too well.

It’s a balance of what you think you should do and what you can actually do.

I like to think Gentle Reminders will help me find my way, but I have to be honest… sometimes its a swift slap from a situation that usually catches my attention.
I am a doer, so my focus is on accomplishing, and when projects, responsibilities, and newborn babies arrive, my urge To Do gets magnified.

When I think of peace I think of three things:

               Community • Communicate • Care 

I realize that there are other things that can cultivate peace in our lives, but my focus here are these three:

Create your community 
You are not alone, there are people you can lean on. This quote says it well, “You can’t choose the family you’re born in, but you can choose the Friends you keep close to you.”  It is important to have friends for emotional support and physical support. We all need friends! You have to seek the right relationships that can help you. Why? Because you can’t do everything. You can’t do it alone. There will be circumstances where you need that extra support and that’s okay.

Communicate
The biggest challenge for me before I got sick was to ask for help. I was the one who helped others but I never thought it would be important to ask for help for myself. I quickly learned  to not worry about overloading someone else. We all have boundaries and if you have friends who don’t have boundaries, it is time to cultivate friends that do. People with boundaries will only help when they can so if they offer they most likely mean it and so that, my dear, is your time to say “Yes I need help!” I’m myself am not scared anymore to inquire for support. When I look down the week and I see a whirlwind of to-do’s, I pick up my phone and call in reinforcements and quick!  Don’t hesitate get on your phone and just  say it  “HELP!”

Care
There are no stream line bullet points or steps to do. It takes time and practice to remember to introduce self-care into your week. Some people think that if they do this and do that, then they can create time for some self-care. I am here to remind you self-care happens no matter what gets accomplished in your day. Self-care is not only facials, massages, and mani/pedis, (those are really nice), but it’s also the your emotional, spiritual and inspirational needs too. You know what you have been neglecting, and it’s time to find it, dust it off and put it back in each of your days. If that is too much, change it to a weekly self-care. You can always work on getting self-care in on a daily basis. Just do something to take care of yourself each day.

I believe we all deserve Peace… now get out there  find your peace in each of your days. Why because your inner Zen is waiting.

Planting Peace…Shelley

{image by redjar}

Becoming a foster parent has lead me down a very long and tedious journey. Every single corner of our home has been checked and then re-checked … all drawers were opened and evaluated. Don’t get me wrong! I am not complaining—the process has been great! The six page checklist offered an opportunity to really test my organizational skills. It lead me to a project that has been sitting in my project que for awhile now.  One thing I have been meaning to do for a long time is add to my Emergency Binder.

Let me share well at the time… not too humorous situation but looking back gives me a chuckle.

When the hubby and I got married in Costa Rica, we hired  a house/pet sitter to took care of our dogs, cat, fish, and home. I created a mini binder and I added all the vital information needed for the sitter. At the time I felt like it had enough information. When we left for our 3 week wedding/honeymoon, I felt good we walked her through our home and answered any of her questions. Everything was fine as left but upon arriving to Costa Rica, we immediately checked into our hotel  and that’s where we were met with  a few messages from the sitter. The messages stated that she simply could not figure out how to turn off  our TV.  We called her right away but after many attempts we realized that our TV would be on for the next 21 days. We asked her to invite our neighbors over and see if they could turn off but  to no avail… all parties could not turn off the TV.  The sitter lowered volume when not home and our TV worked a little bit harder the next following 3 weeks. 

My mind was churning, by the time I arrived back I knew a new binder needed to be created.

 Now was my opportunity to really create a binder that had all the unique things to our house. I  took a pic of the remote and drew lines to what each button meant. It seems like a no-brainer type of appliance, but when it comes down to it… how many of us know how to work anyone else’s TV except our own?

The binder I created has all the normal emergency stuff in it, but it also has maps of where to find things and it contains items that are pertinent to our home.

I basically created the binder as if  I was walking into my home for the first time. Our binder has the default info such as the local hospital information, animal information, neighbors’ name and phone numbers. It also has our vehicle information, local grocery store and animal hospital. We mapped out the exterior of the house and also the interior. We drew where our gas line ran from house, main water line for  plumbing issues, our breaker panel and what switch turned on our garbage disposal.

Whether we are planning a trip or in an Emergency, we have a plan and I feel 100% confident that my binder will provide Peace of Mind.

Have you created  an Emergency Binder yet? If not, maybe it’s time!

You can go to FEMA’s (Federal Emergency Management Agency) website Ready.gov. 

In case of a real emergency and we are not able to make it back home, I uploaded  my information to this website  as a sort of double back up. My binder is also at my mothers home in case we have no internet access and no way of getting into our home.

Need help making your own Emergency Binder? Connect with me here and let me support you in utilizing your resources!

Planning Peace…Shelley

Taxes may or may not be a complicated process for you… however it is still a process. The key to submitting taxes is being prepared and being prepared is not staying up late at night pulling your paperwork together in a hurried panic.

How do you feel when you prepare for your taxes? Panic? Hurried?

Now that the tax deadline is over, it’s time to reevaluate your process. It’s time! It does not have to be an ordeal EVERY year.
I want to share some things I do to help the tax process be smooth sailing each year for me. It is my hope that you can snag an idea and apply it to your tax process.

Find your system so that your tax process can be less frustrating and time-consuming.
Collect your items so that you have everything at your fingertips.
Set deadlines for your spouse i.e., you need XYZ by a certain date. Make sure this date is at least 30 days before you are gathering your paperwork. Plug those dates in!

Set a specific time to collect your paperwork. Make sure that paperwork is uninterrupted time. I like to make a cup of tea, put on some classical music and begin the process of gathering.

Organization  is a year round effort.

I meet with my tax preparer and ask what categories can I write off. I keep updated each year in case anything changes. I take those categories and make a file for each. Each day I put the receipts in each specific file folder category. I write the name of the person I was with, file it and I continue to to that each day until the following year.

I use this divider folder I repurposed from another project and use for receipts.

Keeping your documents organized will reduce the errors and you will save time in completing them.

Keep everything in one place. I use this banker box and call it my TAX BOX. I keep hanging folders, envelopes and file folders among other things in this box.

I keep my business in separate folders, but it still remains in the box. I try to keep the paperwork under control and I like to use software like Mint.com (for my business Quicken works good for me). Both are easy to send to my tax preparer and with my tax box I have everything at my finger tips.

Are you feeling like you need extra support? Let’s work together! Connect with me and we can find a system that works for you and together we can make a new change. It doesn’t have to be complicated… it just has to work for you!

Planning Peace…Shelley 

 Cultivate Your Inner Peace

1. Free your heart from the negative attitude that say “I can’t.”

2. Free your mind from the downward spiral of worry and stress in your life.

3. Live present in your thoughts and actions each day–simply with Peace.

4. Expect Life’s curveballs and Accept, Adjust, and Adapt.

5. Give more daily Gratitude.

Choose one for each day of the week, use your weekends to reflect and regroup.

 Soon enough you will see your inner Peace building.

Planting Peace…Shelley

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.

It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Gratitude makes sense of a our past, brings peace of today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

~Melody Beattie

Do you have a place to write down your Daily Gratitude?

Piece of Time Peace of Planner™

Peace Planner

check out here

Planting Peace…Shelley

{image by Mark Brannan}

 So I ask you…

 What if your planner could be your own space to plant peace, order, and simplicity? What if it’s not just simply a place you write your appointments down, but a place where you can set short-term, long-term, and in between-term goals and aspirations?

This year I came out with a brand new and IMPROVED Piece of Time Peace of Mind Peace Planner. I am so excited for you all to try it out and plan your way to your own Peace of Mind. The Piece of Time Peace of Mind planner offers you a new way to organize your schedule each day. Peaceful features include:

• a space for you to write your OWN date in–flexible and productive!
• customizable front cover-CHOOSE what makes you feel most at Peace!
• space for both short and long-term goals-REMINDing you each day
• Identify Daily Priorities
• Segment Your Daily to Do’s
• Ceate a space for Daily Gratitude
• Reminder to Nurture YOU
• Reminder to Act on Kindness
• Create a space for Inspired Ideas
• Get Inspired with your Personal Plans
• Connect on Life Progress each month
• Jot special notes
• Create Weekly shopping list
• Create a weekly journal of your life
• Plan Peaceful Escapes

Planting Peace…Shelley

Sometimes finding motivation when making a personal change  can seem like a long and winding road.  I agree it can  definitely be a journey and as most journeys, there are challenges to rise to. When you are slow to decide and even slower to take actions, finding a simplified life seems even farther away. Being present seems easy enough to say, but to do it can at times be very challenging. Sometimes I catch myself so caught up in attempting to multitask, pushing myself to do more in a less amount of time.

It’s at these times that I usually end up making silly mistakes-

You know what I mean?

 Texting the wrong person

 Leaving  an  item at home when I left my home to solely drop off that item.

Forgetting to hit send and wondering why this person has not responded?

 Saying YES to a project when clearly you want to say NO.

 Driving to the wrong location because you were thinking about all the to-do’s.

Come on!

I know I am not alone in this club so don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about!

Everyone thinks multitasking is a faster way of doing things but it really isn’t. Some of us have gone off the edge with multitasking and I am first in that line. But I  have changed the way I approach my to do’s and it has helped me avoid getting caught up in “get out of my way I am trying to finish my last 3 to do’s!” 

Even a concealer won’t help!

Just listen for a second…

Multi tasking does not exist.

I repeat.

Multi tasking does not exist.

Okay… did you hear me?

Multi tasking does not exist!

You may think you are multi tasking but the only thing you are creating is:

1.  More time used to finish task

2. Increased amount of mistakes

3. Increased levels of  stress

image by Lars Plougmann

Why not do one task at time and complete that task

efficiently, effectively and effortlessly? 

Being present in what you are doing at the moment is so important, it can move  you forward in your short-term and long-term goals and plans. Taking the smaller steps each day and being present when doing them—putting your effort in and pulling your focus to your actions—will soon transform the way that goals and plans are achieved.

Today, try to be at ease with doing 1 task at a time.

If the task is to watch TV, then sit down and watch TV. Don’t try to catch glimpses, clean the living room, talk on the phone, and/or check your emails. Slowing down and being present allows you to be upfront in your life and make wiser decisions.

It’s time to:

Slow your to-do roll today and  remember in order to do a task well, you must take the time to do it one task at a time.

When you begin to see your to do list diminishing, you will see your progress and feel happy.

Planting Peace…Shelley

{photo by Thomas Hawk}

Image by Shelley & Dave

Are there things looming on your mind? Do certain situations trigger a comment like:

“Gosh, I have been wanting to….”

Do you feel disappointed because that thing seems so very far away? 

We all share this common feeling!

Sometimes I get exasperated when I cannot get to those certain things in my life. Sometimes the feeling of frustration causes me to focus on the lack of time in my life. Did you notice the bolded word in my sentence? The more I focus on the lack the further the thing I want to accomplish seems to travel away from me. Can I share with you an example of how I am learning to shift my attention from lack to gain?

I tend to use these 3 tools when I get that annoyed feeling from wanting to do something and not being able to do it.

Think It Out:

It is NOT time consuming, I slow things down and assess what is in my life. That way I can better understand my situation. I pause and go deeper, examining the busyness of my life.
Find The Box:

By slowing down, I allow myself the clarity to re shape the box I have created. If I think I am too busy and I say it outloud over and over, then the only result I will create is not doing the very thing I want to do.
Create the Solution:

 By prioritizing and figuring out the time available to me, I create my answer and I am able to create time to do that thing I have been wanting to do.

As you know, life can become hectic and unpredictable. I know that even more so, this last year, we have been fostering  newborn babies which, in itself, can be very frenzied. One day we are a family of two and overnight we are a family of three and that third is usually about 10-days to 2 months old.

Each year I plant a garden and this year I was thinking “this year would be an exception.” I knew that with a newborn baby, I would be limited on time and my usual weekly garden tending would be too difficult. I immediately became disappointed. I already thought that the garden this year was an all or nothing situation.

I created this story with Hi and Low Drama in my mind, may I share?

I have been hosting canning class to can my vegetables I wanted to grow from my garden….now I can’t! 

I want to grow my herb garden for my family meals…now I can’t!

Even if I plant, there won’t be time to tend my garden so everything will die…now I can’t! 

According to my story, no garden was in sight for me this year!

But Wait!

I had to gently remind myself:

• Think it Out
• Find the Box
• Create the solution

An idea sprang forth… I don’t have to create a whole garden but I can create a city garden using pots. The  weeding process will be at a minimum or next to zilch. I can grow the most important thing I want to preserve: tomatoes. I can grow a few of my most used herbs. I can pick a week and break out the prepping, moving and setting up into increments.

When you invest time in thinking about the pros and less on the cons, the direction you need to go in becomes clearer. You can create an intended path and by doing so move from paralyzed disappointment to contented satisfaction.

That means when you’re done, you can sit still and smile.

image by Janex & Alba

Planting Peace…Shelley