I was bewildered hearing those words come out of Deanna’s mouth.

I always thought my leadership style was so great. Share the vision and give people lots of room to blast their own path.

But it wasn’t.

When I started my spiritual journey in 2007, I found so much solace and power in that path. I applied it to everything, and my life opened up dramatically.

But at this point, I was stuck.

The more stuck I was, the more I’d visualize and meditate and tune into the Universe and listen to my intuition and go with the flow.

And the more I did that, the more stayed stuck.

The breakthrough came when I realized that I needed to do the opposite.

But what is the opposite?

I see the visualization and feeling and going with the flow as the feminine energy.

It’s incredibly powerful and important.

But if the masculine energy is lacking, it’s not going to go anywhere.

Feminine energy will go round and round and round forever. Lots of movement. No direction.

Masculine energy, on the other hand, is directional.

Masculine energy is

• Focus

• Structure

• Direction

If you’re all feminine and no masculine, you won’t get anywhere.

If you’re all masculine and no feminine, you’ll get there, but it won’t mean a thing.

You need both.

Most of us, when we’re stuck, do more of what’s most familiar to us. More of what’s not working.

And then we’re surprised when it’s still not working.

Instead, we need to do the opposite.

Most spiritual entrepreneurs are way too invested in the feminine. They need a healthy dose of masculine.

Focus. Structure. Direction.

Most people get scared that they’ll lose the feminine when they start growing the masculine.

They won’t. The feminine only grows stronger when you feed the masculine.

Ask yourself: Does your business right now need more masculine, or more feminine?

Does it need more focus, structure, and direction?

Or does it need more nurturing, intuition, and flow?

What’s the biggest gap right now?

Find out, and then get to work supplying that.

It doesn't have a functioning understanding of humans: how we function, what makes us healthy, and what makes us sick.

The fact alone that nobody is seriously investigating the placebo effect and figuring out how to leverage it to heal, despite every single random controlled clinical trial proving that the placebo effect is real and works (that's the entire reason that we have control arms that get given a placebo drug) has been a red flag for me for as long as I can remember.

It's so glaringly obvious, that I don't understand how not everybody is outraged over this.

That's why I don't have health insurance. I don't see any need to pay into a system that has little understanding of health nor disease.

Health is a factor of diet, human connection, mental and emotional environment, and exercise. I’m sure there are other factors, too, but those seem like the big ones.

For two and a half years I had diarrhea pretty much non-stop. Went to a doctor. He had me do a stool sample and told me to eat less salad. The stool sample showed nothing useful. I went to a doctor specializing in parasites. He said I had a parasite, giardia. Ordered me $2000 worth of drugs, an antiparasite drug and two weeks of antibiotics. No change in my condition.

Andrrew (Pafei founder) kept saying it was emotional. There was a level of running away from self that was causing it. Some deep fear was running my system.

I worked on it with him. Journaled on it. Meditated.

In the end, what fixed it was Brain Camp in July. First day of Brain Camp, and it was gone.

What exactly it was I’m not 100%. I think it was the culmination of all the work I’d done.

And then the combination of the microbiome supplement, Jin Shin, a deep healing session with Alison Green-Barton, and the healing environment in general knocked me over the edge.

Calmed my nervous system down enough for my digestion to finally settle.

Literally for the first time in my 47 years of existence!

It’s magic how much you can do when you doggedly pursue that inner work.

The whole experience once again proved to me that doctors are generally useless. They don't understand the body.

They know how to look at lab tests, which only show data points isolated from the whole.

They know how to look at a cluster of symptoms, and then they call it a disease, and look up in a big book for drugs to prescribe.

I’m exaggerating a little bit here … but not much. I believe most of them are good people that really care, but their understanding of the human body is just so darn limited.

A big lightbulb moment happened when I had kids. They’d get sick. We’d go to the doctor. And the outcome was always one of two things: (a) prescribe antibiotics, (b) do not prescribe antibiotics, and instead tell us to just wait it out.

Needless to say, I never gave my kids antibiotics. I think it does way more harm than good. Antibiotic literally means “against life”. So there’s that.

But if that’s all a doctor’s going to do, then they’re not much use for me.

Back to the diarrhea.

Digestion and elimination is one of those things that we don't talk enough about.

It's a critical vital sign. Forget pain as the 5th vital sign.

Poop! Poop should probably be the first vital sign!

If your poop is not healthy, that's a sign something's not right in your body.

Wait long enough, and it’ll manifest in other ways.

In any kind of “unhealth” situation, there’s likely to be multiple factors.

Diet is likely to be a component.

Toxins could be a component—toxins you eat, or toxins you absorb through your skin or through the air.

And your mental and emotional environment is absolutely a component, as we’ve seen with the placebo effect.

Your habitual thoughts become beliefs. Your beliefs become emotions. Habitual emotions become patterns in your physiology and manifest as tension in your muscles. Over time that turns into disease.

By the time it shows up as a disease symptom, you have been doing this for years.

So of course it’s going to take a minute—and some serious archaeological work—to undo that damage.

Yeah, it’s work.

But it’s the path to freedom.

Not just freedom from disease, but also freedom to be yourself.

To be who you came here to be.

To live a life aligned with your spirit.

The medical industrial cartel, meanwhile, invents diseases so they can sell you drugs that do nothing to address the disease. “Restless leg syndrome” anyone?

They are ruthless and cynical in their pursuit of profits.

They bribe universities, hospitals, pharmacy benefit managers, medical journals, government officials.

They corrupt our media, our tech companies, and our social media companies.

They lie and cheat and distort their research.

They routinely hide side effects and obfuscate any reasonable cost/benefit analysis.

They control the very institutions that are supposed to provide oversight.

They use their leverage over government to secure immunity for themselves.

They will gladly sell their drugs despite having full knowledge of the harm they’re causing to the people taking them.

This is not even in dispute. This is how the system works, plain and simple.

And we’re all paying for it.

Even if we don’t pay into the scam that is health insurance, we’re still paying for this racket with our taxes, which are funding NIH, NIAID, Medicaid, Medicare, Obamacare, subsidizing student loans, and much more.

And thanks to ineffective regulation and regulatory capture, you can’t even go to a hospital or doctor directly and just pay fair market rate to get your broken arm fixed.

I’ve been diving deep into the dysfunction in our system these last few weeks.

Health is such a critical aspect of life. If we don’t have our health, nothing else matters.

And Americans especially are paying a huge amount of money for all of this. 18% of GDP in 2020.

And with 2020 GDP of 20.94 trillion dollars, that amounts to $3.769 trillion.

And for what?

Prescription drugs are the third leading cause of death, after hearth disease and cancer.

Obesity, diabetes, ADD/ADHD, speech and sleep disorders, autism, chronic disease, and autoimmune diseases are all on the rise.

The more we spend, the sicker we get.

Whatever we’re doing, it’s clearly not working.

It’s time to stop and reassess.

And arrest some of the criminals who have been perpetuating this fraud on the American people and the people of nations all over the world.

Here’s some of the things I’ve been consuming lately. I know, it’s a long list.

• Overdosed America: The Broken Promise of American Medicine by John Abramson

• Death by Modern Medicine: Seeking Safe Solutions by Carolyn Dean

• What Really Makes You Ill?: Why Everything You Thought You Knew About Disease Is Wrong by Dawn Lester and David Parker

• The Truth About Contagion: Exploring Theories of How Disease Spreads by Thomas Cowan and Sally Fallon Morell

• COVID Operation: What Happened, Why It Happened, and What's Next by Pamela Popper and Shane Prier

• Pandemia: How Coronavirus Hysteria Took Over Our Government, Rights, and Lives by Alex Berenson

• Virus Mania by Torsten Engelbrecht and others

• The Real Anthony Fauci: Bill Gates, Big Pharma, and the Global War on Democracy and Public Health by Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

• COVID-19 and the Global Predators: We are the Prey by Peter Breggin and Ginger Breggin

• Peter Duesberg on Joe Rogan

• Dr. Robert Malone on Joe Rogan

• John Abramson on Joe Rogan

• Dr. Peter McCullough on Joe Rogan

• Alex Berenson on Joe Rogan

• How to save the world in three easy steps - Robert Malone and Steve Kirsch on Bret Weinstein’s DarkHorse podcast

There’s also about a dozen newsletters I’m subscribed to. I’ll share them some other time.

Where has that gotten you?⁠ ⁠

How about trying something new?⁠ ⁠

Maybe you're afraid that if you loved yourself you'd stop improving.⁠ ⁠

That's not true.⁠ ⁠

In fact, the opposite is true.⁠ ⁠

Your self-hate, your self-criticism, your self-judgment, is exactly what's keeping your stuck.⁠ ⁠

Love and accept all of you. And then choose to build yourself up, not because you're wrong, but because you're right.⁠ ⁠

Because you're worth it.⁠ ⁠

Because you're lovable.⁠ ⁠

You are constantly surrounded by love.⁠ ⁠

Love is the energy that binds atoms and molecules together.⁠ ⁠

Accept the love into your life, and use that as energy to propel you forward.⁠ ⁠

I'm rooting for you.⁠ ⁠

I'm in your corner.⁠ ⁠

Are you?⁠

But most of them ended up failing, and then I was back at square one. I found my purpose in late February 2008 on a cold winter evening, living room filled with moving boxes because we'd just moved into this house, wife, and kids left for someplace warm. I just decided. Today's the day that I'm going to find out what I truly want to do with my life.

Browsed some books, came up with some questions. Questions like what did I dream of as a kid, what kinds of activities give me energy, what kinds of people light me up, favorite moments as a kid, in school, in college.

Sat down to answer them, and that's when it just landed, like a big revelation: I'm here to integrate spirituality and entrepreneurship.

I saw a complete vision of how this could come to life. This vision has been my north star ever since.

Not everything I've touched since has been successful. But all of it has helped build towards that vision.

That's the power of having a clear sense of purpose, a clear direction of where you're going.

It's like going from chopping once at each of a hundred trees, to chopping a hundred times at one tree. One works a lot better than the other.

Whats's your purpose?

Have you noticed that too?

Guilt is rarely a useful feeling. It doesn't make things better for you or for anyone else.

Sure, if you really fucked up, it's okay to feel a sense of guilt for a moment. Then you'll want to take action to remedy it, and then let it go.

If you didn't do anything wrong, the guilt serves no purpose at all.

The sooner you can eliminate any residual guilt from your life, the better.

The more people do this, the better for everyone.

To get you started, here are three things you should never feel guilty about:

Saying out loud what you believe. 

It's your opinion and you're entitled to it. Speak your mind. Stand proud.

Being happy and successful. 

If someone is offended by your success, it's their problem. Don't dim your light just because they're not happy or successful. Be a lighthouse. Inspire them. Lead the way. 

Loving yourself as you are. 

Don't wait till you meet self-hate's standards for how you need to be. You never will. Don't wait to love yourself until you're successful or smart or skinny enough, or until you've found a partner, or whatever rules you have set for yourself. You're worthy of love right here, right now. Accept it.

Do you agree?

What are the things you go around feeling guilty about?

For microphone, I use a Shure SM7B on a cheap fixed On Stage desk mount stand.

I find that shock mount and pop filter is not necessary with this setup. The microphone comes insulated enough.

I run this to an Apollo Twin audio interface.

The Apollo lets you run software emulations of great hardware processors natively on the device, with super low latency. Here's my audio chain:

Let's break it down.

I run the Neve 1073 preamp. This is the configuration.

That then is fed into the Tube-Tech CL 1B compressor with these settings:

I experimented with different compressors, and the Tube-Tech seems to go well with my voice and with the microphone.

Next comes the Millenia NSEQ-2. Not sure what this thing is exactly. Part EQ, part tube. All I know is, it sounds frickin' amazing.

Next a bit more EQ to take out a bit of boominess, and add some air:

And finally, to round it off and smooth out the edges, some tape. Because who doesn't like a bit of tape saturation?

So that's my audio chain.

Good luck making yours.

Modeling others is incredibly powerful.

But there comes a point where you have to realize that no one has the answers to the big questions in life.

Our parents don't.

Our politicians don't.

Our media don't.

Our teachers don't.

All they have are partial answers.

Answers that worked for them.

(Or so they think.)

No-one's been exactly where we are right now before.

No-one else has ever lived your life.

We have to find our own answers.

We have to clear our own trail.

We are trailblazers.

"I can't."

"It's too hard."

"It's not my fault."

"If only..."

What's worse, though, are people playing the hero.

"I know, it's hard."

"Poor you."

"Here, let me do it for you."

The hero gets to feel good about themselves because they're helping the poor victim.

They get to forget their own pain for a minute, while they caretake someone else.

But there's a cost to this.

The victim stays a victim.

Instead of saying something empowering

like "I know it's hard, but you can do this"

or "I know this bad thing happened, but what are you going to do next?"

They say or do something that reinforces the victim position.

Don't be a hero.

Be a coach.

Be someone that helps grow people.