Pinhole's Blog

60Pinhole's Bloghttp://pinhole.orourkeville.comMon, 09 Nov 2009 01:24:39 GMTMon, 09 Nov 2009 01:24:39 GMTenrandy418@comcast.netnoComing Thoon!http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/yZ23xJ0efHw/coming-thoon.aspxPinhole<BR><IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/thimblecoverfinal2.jpg?a=24"><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>Thtorieth abound…thorry, er…sorry.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Stories abound.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Tales of clandestine societies with incalculable influence over the founding of The United States of America.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Patterns of intrigue weaving themselves around a profession as old as civilization.<BR><BR></FONT><FONT size=5 face=Tahoma><STRONG>Fact<BR><BR></STRONG></FONT><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>Sewing harkens back to the Paleolithic Era.<BR><BR></FONT><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>Originally, needles, like weapons, were manufactured from bone, ivory and thorns.<BR><BR></FONT><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>A child playing under a quilting frame in the basement of a Methodist church, while his Grandma pieced the item together with the rest of her guild, who bashed his shin on the leg of the frame and muttered, “Dammit!”, should have really considered, “Harken”, or a short prayer of some sort.<BR><BR>(Watch this blog for a possible <STRONG>Prologue</STRONG>.)<BR></FONT><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></SPAN></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/10/27/coming-thoon"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/yZ23xJ0efHw" height="1" width="1"/>parodyWritingImagesBooksHumorArtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/27/coming-thoon.aspx#Comments1a3dd779-9f24-47b2-a382-23dd1693800bTue, 27 Oct 2009 22:22:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/27/coming-thoon.aspx?ref=rssMaybe A Nice Tweed...http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/rviokLrpZHM/maybe-a-nice-tweed.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>For the past couple of years a cheap electric guitar has leered at me from the corner of my computer/drawing room.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>My fingers and I finally had a long talk where we decided it was either time to learn to play the thing, or drape a jacket over it so it couldn’t make fun of us.<BR><BR>By Tuesday it became obvious why the term “fret” was employed in describing the sectioning of the neck of the guitar.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Fretting notes, fretting chords, fretting that I wouldn’t be able to control the bleeding at the tips of my fingers.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>There was obviously more to learning this instrument than I had anticipated.<BR><BR>As my left hand contorted, searched and wept intermittently, my right hand was trying to pick individual strings with little success.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Honestly, I would have been thrilled to strike a loose thread on my sweater.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The right thread might even have improved the tone quality.<BR><BR>My guitar is blue, so at least it looks good.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>As I’ve mentioned in the past I have a <A href="http://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2007/10/04/the-hills-are-alive.aspx">lap steel guitar</A>, as well.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>It’s beige, though still an attractive piece of equipment.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I’m thinking I should keep them together in the same corner of the room.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>This will make for convenient access, accent the aesthetic flow, and make it easier to hide both instruments under one jacket.</FONT></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/orourkestampweb.jpg?a=31"><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/10/21/maybe-a-nice-tweed"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/rviokLrpZHM" height="1" width="1"/>MusicHumorhttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/21/maybe-a-nice-tweed.aspx#Comments03ad7977-5762-462b-af36-0832e67329cbThu, 22 Oct 2009 00:05:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/21/maybe-a-nice-tweed.aspx?ref=rssColored Water - The World of Zach Babathttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/2U4yKgGr0hE/colored-water--the-world-of-zach-babat.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Love has grown weary from over exertion.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The word, I mean.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The concept actually lost all relevance in the Sixties, about the time Coca Cola decided they’d like to buy the entire world an ice-cold beverage.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>It’s far too common to hear someone mention their “love” of the late Farrah Fawcett’s hair, a particular movie, or French fries, and in the same breath proclaim an unending affection for their children.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I always wonder how much therapy is required when said child realizes his or her parents are as passionate about them as they are a crisp golden potato wedge.<BR><BR>”Miracle” is another term that in the 21<SUP>st</SUP> Century is faced with quite a task in living up to its PR.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>From an unexplained medical phenomenon to the underdog high school sports team kicking the winning home run in the last lap, some would rather believe in supernatural intervention than give thought to a rational cause or lurking talent.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And everyone knows that Miracle Whip is really nothing but tangy mayonnaise.<BR><BR>So what <A href="http://zachbabat.com/">Zach Babat</A> accomplishes with some pigment and a little H²O might best be described as “affinity”.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A term not thrown around near casually enough, in my opinion.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Mr. Babat paints an understanding of his subjects.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Not satisfied to capture an image, his brush dips into the history, character and surroundings of the wildlife represented.<BR><BR>With mesmerizing technique and an instinctive use of light, Babat creates moments, not just paintings.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>He works his way into the world of the animal and invites us along.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I encountered a grizzly once in the wild and found it invigorating.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>In fact, it invigorated the bejesus out of me.<BR><BR>Babat’s paintings have a similar effect on me.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>So many aspects of the work attack your senses it becomes difficult to look away.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>With each viewing a new discovery is made.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>With luck, we become invigorated, attuned and slightly overwhelmed.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>If your experience takes you even deeper into the soul of the animal, well then, that’s some incredibly tangy mayonnaise.</FONT><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"><IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/orourkestampweb.jpg?a=61">  <BR><BR><BR></SPAN></SPAN> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/10/19/colored-water--the-world-of-zach-babat"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/2U4yKgGr0hE" height="1" width="1"/>reviewAnimalsHumorArtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/19/colored-water--the-world-of-zach-babat.aspx#Commentsfbc7dc32-f5eb-4abf-8190-ce798f41a0cdMon, 19 Oct 2009 22:56:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/19/colored-water--the-world-of-zach-babat.aspx?ref=rssAnd Awaaaaay We Go!http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/_A6oGSnu504/and-awaaaaay-we-go.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Rocks don’t need maps.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>It’s not that rocks don’t experience movement; they simply don’t experience a choice in manner or direction.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Wind, water, the whim of some child, or adult with too much time on its hands, who wants to see how many times a stone will skip across the pond are a rock’s major modes of transportation.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>All requiring no pre-flight plan.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And it turns out that Simon & Garfunkel were right.<BR><BR>I am a rock.<BR><BR>Lately, it seems the Focus is gathering dust in the garage while I’m bandied about by wind, water and the whims of children and adults with too much time on their hands.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Even hungers provide little inspiration or motivation.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Reason appeared the other day, and was promptly shown the door.<BR><BR>Piloting this ship is all about weathering the storms.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>This isn’t a bad thing, mind you.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>If you dislike adventure you’re on the wrong ride.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The tide is only an issue if you allow it.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Just be happy on whatever beach you happen to wash up.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN><BR><BR>So where to next?<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Beats me…I don’t have a map.<BR><BR><BR><IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/orourkestampweb.jpg?a=15"><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P></FONT></SPAN><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/10/13/and-awaaaaay-we-go"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/_A6oGSnu504" height="1" width="1"/>TransitionsHumorThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/13/and-awaaaaay-we-go.aspx#Commentse36e2e89-d41c-4e30-b759-9457ea5d9627Wed, 14 Oct 2009 01:05:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/13/and-awaaaaay-we-go.aspx?ref=rssKeep Fit? Or Throw one?http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/btMrXAZh-sU/keep-fit-or-throw-one.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Before starting this, or any, exercise program it’s important to consult your tailor.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>When you invariably throw up after your first workout you’ll want to be wearing an outfit that resists staining.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>This is also the reason it’s important not to eat Spanish rice sooner than 2 days prior to starting your routine.<BR><BR>Trust me on this one.<BR><BR>Since the cat died, and I can’t hear her ghost laugh, I am finally able to wear shorts during my workout.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>This means I remain much cooler and have more freedom of movement as I step onto the deck for a cup of coffee as the DVD plays the stretch and yoga portions of the exercise video.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>No cream or sugar.<BR><BR>During the sculpt section it’s important to maintain some mental energy for hoping the phone will ring.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>If you have no friends who call at that time of day, or at all, a cell phone is well worth the investment in order to make the call yourself.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Preprogram, if necessary, or you think your hands might be busy with coffee cup and Danish.<BR><BR>It’s imperative not to forget the cool down step.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Listen to your body, but standing in front of the freezer deciding on ice cream flavor works for me.<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></FONT></SPAN> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/10/08/keep-fit-or-throw-one"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/btMrXAZh-sU" height="1" width="1"/>ExerciseHumorhttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/08/keep-fit-or-throw-one.aspx#Commentsad8c2eef-008d-4c59-b265-6e6abacbb6caThu, 08 Oct 2009 22:36:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/08/keep-fit-or-throw-one.aspx?ref=rssComes the Dawnhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/MqMXkfNcnes/comes-the-dawn.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>As a young idealistic college student, majoring in Coors and 8-Ball, I would frequently gaze out my dorm room window and witness some ill-mannered, unshaven, filthy species of subhuman strolling across the campus green.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Invariably, this beast would have a cheerleader on his arm, seemingly enthralled with every monosyllabic grunt the troglodyte uttered.<BR><BR>Being an ill-mannered, unshaven, filthy species of subhuman myself, I couldn’t help but wonder, “What’s he got that I haven’t got?”<BR><BR>The simple answer came from Crazy Neil, a fellow Trout Hall resident who lived in the 10’ X 10’ box next door.<BR><BR>“The courage to ask,” Neil informed me.<BR><BR>Apparently, Neil knew me better than I knew myself.<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></FONT></SPAN> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/10/06/comes-the-dawn"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/MqMXkfNcnes" height="1" width="1"/>HumorThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/06/comes-the-dawn.aspx#Commentse76fd9d9-e795-45e5-950b-7589ab2c56e4Wed, 07 Oct 2009 03:54:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/10/06/comes-the-dawn.aspx?ref=rssComing Out Of My Shellhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/9KGSBl6dcrM/coming-out-of-my-shell.aspxPinhole<BR><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>Nothing new 'neath the fiery ball,<BR>No matter how you weigh it.<BR>Not a thought that's left unsaid,<BR>Just diff'rent ways to say it.<BR><BR><BR><BR><IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/eggbasketsmallweb.jpg"><BR><BR><BR><SPAN style="COLOR: #bf334b"><FONT size=6><STRONG><EM>Shirts will be available soon!<BR><BR><BR><FONT size=3><BR><BR></FONT></EM></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></FONT> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/08/28/coming-out-of-my-shell"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/9KGSBl6dcrM" height="1" width="1"/>Cartoon charactersGraphicsImagesHumorArtsThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/08/28/coming-out-of-my-shell.aspx#Commentsf0549cb3-061e-4584-8579-91f61d5106c1Fri, 28 Aug 2009 20:55:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/08/28/coming-out-of-my-shell.aspx?ref=rssDrawn To Scalehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/8K_PRtQT1wA/drawn-to-scale.aspxPinhole<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma><BR><BR>“Breathe, Dammit!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Breathe!”</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Tahoma><FONT size=3> <o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>Ron Harper shouted this command like it was a set of instructions, as though I had made a conscious choice to stop, or simply forgotten how.<BR><BR>His much younger and much larger brother, Darrell, had just hit me in the throat with a wild pitch and my 7-year-old windpipe took this as a sign to take a well-earned break.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Darrell was about 5 years older than me, had gone through puberty in the womb and somewhere along the line had, apparently, misplaced his neck.<BR><BR>”Is he dead?” Darrell inquired.<BR><BR>This may have signaled the peak of Darrell’s intellectual curiosity, and under less dire circumstances it might have been a thrilling event to witness.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>But with Ron comfortably astride my chest, a nice breeze blowing through the park, and my brain busy wondering why my lungs weren’t getting any of it, it was difficult to try and throw appreciation into the mix.<BR><BR>Of course, I had no business playing ball with the big kids.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Considering I tended to lose my balance at anything more challenging than dominoes, I honestly had no business playing ball period.<BR><BR>When my diaphragm finally took some initiative, and decided to contract, the look of panic began to ease from Ron’s face.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Tahoma><FONT size=3> <o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>“You gonna be okay?”</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Tahoma><FONT size=3> <o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>A part of me has been trying to answer that question ever since.<BR><BR>It turns out that it’s only my internal gyroscope that’s out of whack.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I can stand a broom on my finger, switch it from hand to foot to chin and back again.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I can balance a chair, a pool cue, a small dog if it will hold still, and occasionally my checkbook.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>So when a friend of mine was having trouble with a decision, I had no trouble seeing the solution.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Regardless of how unwanted, or unsolicited, my insights were, it was easy for me to tell her which way to lean.</FONT></P> <P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Tahoma><FONT size=3> <o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></P><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>But, as regards my own future, and this whole writing-graphics thing, I guess I’m still not sure I have any business playing ball with the big kids.<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></FONT><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">          </SPAN></SPAN> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/08/21/drawn-to-scale"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/8K_PRtQT1wA" height="1" width="1"/>careersGraphicsWritingHumorArtsBlogginghttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/08/21/drawn-to-scale.aspx#Comments3c3b25c4-96aa-4bf0-9c70-2f71b90dfd5dFri, 21 Aug 2009 17:35:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/08/21/drawn-to-scale.aspx?ref=rssBut, Seriously...http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/x0DMqR0egcs/but-seriously.aspxPinhole<FONT size=5 face=Tahoma><BR>My new business card:<BR><BR><BR><IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/fishcard7emailjbordersmudge.jpg"><BR><BR><BR><FONT size=4>This should silence everyone who thinks I can't be serious about anything.<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></FONT></FONT> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/06/21/but-seriously"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/x0DMqR0egcs" height="1" width="1"/>careersWritingCartoon charactersImagesArtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/06/21/but-seriously.aspx#Comments74750c14-fac4-44c2-bbdd-2696f8e67c23Sun, 21 Jun 2009 23:04:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/06/21/but-seriously.aspx?ref=rssA Shot In The Darkhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/CZVMyNpBjBU/a-shot-in-the-dark.aspxPinhole<BR>                                                         <IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/holmesbros3.jpg"><BR><BR><BR>                                                             <BR><FONT size=3 face=Tahoma>A shutter and some overalls make tricks of<BR>light and shadow dance and sometimes<BR>catch the smile behind the<BR></FONT><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>squint.<BR><BR>But, rarely, can the viewer spy the layers<BR>left unfolded, or to clearly<BR>know just what the smiling<BR>meant.<BR><BR>The lens, it sees so much, yet sees so little<BR>once it’s done, that when the print gives<BR>voice and screams its last<BR>refrain.<BR><BR>Despite perceived transparency the<BR>image that was captured won’t reveal<BR>which one’s about to go<BR>insane.<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></FONT><BR></SPAN> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/06/11/a-shot-in-the-dark"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/CZVMyNpBjBU" height="1" width="1"/>PoetryThoughtsTributeFamilyhttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/06/11/a-shot-in-the-dark.aspx#Comments3734cf94-eb89-4538-b37f-858790222ba5Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:37:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/06/11/a-shot-in-the-dark.aspx?ref=rssGlancing Back - Part 1http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/w9WRDnXHJ44/glancing-back--part-1.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Chain-smoking, sweating profusely and pacing maniacally my father felt certain he had cleverly disguised his anxiety by humming softly and casually to himself.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A little over three years earlier he had almost lost his wife and first child during delivery, but they were in a hospital this time.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Surely, a host of doctors and nurses could keep better track of a small woman and newborn than the clerk and night manager at Western Auto.<BR><BR>In spite of the previous difficulties, Mom had insisted on another child.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Given that the first child had developed into a bright, genial and well-behaved little citizen, Dad reluctantly agreed.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Knowledge of the risks and the fierce quiet of the waiting room only magnified his apprehension this time around.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>He comforted himself with the thought that, for the rest of his life, nothing could possibly fray his nerves to this degree.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>This wouldn’t be the last time my father would underestimate my skills.<BR><BR>When I was old enough to be curious about where I came from I was given the typical answer of the day involving a large white bird with a beak like a piece of Samsonite.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Sometime later, on the playground, Bif Fortman outlined an entirely different and earthier explanation.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>All through Geography class that afternoon the only thing I could think about was what an unpleasant experience that must have been for the stork.<BR><BR>But that was farther down the road.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>For now, Dad had his Winstons, his ignorance and a two-year old copy of Life Magazine with a picture of Doris Day on the cover to keep him company, and he wondered what was taking so long.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Staring at the floor tiles just long enough to dispose of a length of ash in his pants cuff, he was briefly visited by the stab of uncertainty that frequently accompanies the use of too much soy sauce.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>At that moment, a nurse came through the door and informed my father that he had another son.<BR><BR>I had arrived.<BR><BR>Three days later the United States Congress added the words “under god” to the pledge of allegiance.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Apparently, they too had sensed an uneasiness in the air and, while on the one hand wishing to respect the separation of church and state, felt it would be prudent to cover all their bases.<BR><BR>Either that, or they all had the chow mein.<BR><BR><BR>                                      <IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/babysketchrev2.jpg"><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></FONT>              <BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/06/04/glancing-back--part-1"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/w9WRDnXHJ44" height="1" width="1"/>ThoughtsWritingHistoryImagesHumorFamilyhttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/06/04/glancing-back--part-1.aspx#Comments7b77c370-9bc0-4fa1-aa4b-f1892ebaca6aThu, 04 Jun 2009 19:34:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/06/04/glancing-back--part-1.aspx?ref=rssGlancing Back Through A Pinhole - Introductionhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/JSqi9JNfxv4/glancing-back-through-a-pinhole--introduction.aspxPinhole<FONT size=3 face=Tahoma><BR>In an effort to plot the route from fetus to my present state and location I will be recalling particular episodes and scenic pullouts on the journey. What fears pointed me in a specific direction? Or, failed to? How have desires and distractions affected the landscape? Who put those mountains in the way? And why is there more than one brand of vanilla wafer?<BR><BR>It’s not important for you to pay attention during these ramblings. It’s probably not even important for me to pay attention, as memories of certain occurrences such as the circumstances surrounding my birth, or my graduation from high school, are so vague and obscure they will likely involve huge tracts of speculation.<BR><BR>Bits of pre-history have been covered <A href="http://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2007/06/17/wheres-dad--an-excerpt.aspx">here</A> and <A href="http://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2007/06/26/w-h-and-me.aspx">here</A>. It may be necessary to review and revise these passages as the series progresses. As a matter of clarification, or explanation, additional histories, both real and imagined, will be required. Where it becomes either impossible, or uninspiring, to be factual I will strive to be entertaining. Cursed with rather mundane experiences this will be no easy task.<BR><BR>I’ve mopped floors, bagged groceries, worked in a factory, and for a brief period during The Beatle’s heyday wore trousers so snug that it was simply taken for granted that my brother was the only hope for our parents to one day have grandchildren. Monsters crowded around and jockeyed for position during my formative years, and continue to haunt my adult life in the form of personal and professional relationships. Such is the nature of wandering among the living. One never knows when they will encounter heartache, failure, or live chickens.<BR><BR>If you choose to forego this trip, I won’t hold it against you. I can’t decide whether I’m looking forward to revisiting these moments myself.<BR><BR>If you do stay on this bus, you might want to buckle up.<BR></FONT> <P></P></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG border=0 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 height=60></A><BR> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript charset=utf-8 src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/05/31/glancing-back-through-a-pinhole--introduction"></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/JSqi9JNfxv4" height="1" width="1"/>FamilyWritingHistoryHumorThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/31/glancing-back-through-a-pinhole--introduction.aspx#Commentsd9c80118-36a0-458b-802c-539b7457b25fSun, 31 May 2009 21:25:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/31/glancing-back-through-a-pinhole--introduction.aspx?ref=rssSpecial Delivery - Relocated for Memorial Dayhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/nZ1NIrB6eCQ/special-delivery--relocated-for-memorial-day.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Years ago, never mind how many, in small town Midwestern America, everything was closed for business on Sunday, except church.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I could never understand why, if god wanted me to rest on the Sabbath, I was spending so much time struggling with a Windsor knot and looking for my other dress shoe.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A paradox I still wrestle with, periodically, if I feel a need to exercise.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>When I questioned my father about this dilemma, always the philosopher, he responded, “Keep quiet…and find that shoe.”<BR><BR>Besides the abundance of places to worship, my hometown also boasted the only movie theater in the entire county, and aside from listening to Mr. Frye snoring in the back pew, going to the show provided the only form of entertainment on a Sunday evening.<BR><BR>My older brother sold popcorn at this establishment and most Sundays my folks and I would climb in the old Oldsmobile, park on a usually deserted Main Street in front of the theater and wait for him to get off work.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I must mention here, that everything in my hometown was within walking distance of everything else.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We walked to school, walked to the park, walked to the ball diamond…but, apparently, my parents felt Professional Popcorn Popping was such an exhausting occupation that my brother would, undoubtedly, need a ride home.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>My family not being big on idle conversation, while waiting I was usually left alone in the backseat with my thoughts.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And, most times, it still seemed fairly crowded.<BR><BR>One particular Sunday evening, as we waited on a barren Main Street, a Greyhound pulled up in front of the Rexall Drug Store at the end of the block.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The three of us watched as a frail middle-aged gentleman stepped off the bus, adjusted the sleeve of a paper thin grayish sweater that had once, maybe, been yellow, set a cardboard suitcase beside his feet, and stared vacantly out into the darkness.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>He had a head of prematurely gray hair that obviously, quite recently, had considered mutiny, but was too disorganized to accomplish the task.<BR><BR>As my father approached the man to see if he needed assistance, all I remember thinking is that I no longer had to wonder where scarecrows went for vacation.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Dad appeared to be doing all of the talking with an occasional nod from the soulless husk standing next to him.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Within a few moments the man and his satchel had joined my thoughts and me in the backseat of the car as we drove toward the nursing home at the edge of town.<BR><BR>From my flurry of questions on our way back to pick up my brother, the only thing I could get out of Dad, a veteran of the second war to end all wars, was “Shell shock”.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The man from the bus was one of the fortunate survivors of a terrible conflict who had returned with all of his limbs; but a vital part of him had been left shuddering in a damp bunker in some far-off land.<BR><BR>In 2009 we have more sophisticated terms for this malady and, hopefully, more sophisticated and efficient treatments.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>But that night after everyone was asleep, I recall lying under the covers, crying, and for the life of me, I didn’t have the faintest idea of how to explain why.<BR></FONT><BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/05/24/special-delivery--relocated-for-memorial-day" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/nZ1NIrB6eCQ" height="1" width="1"/>TransitionsWARTributeHumorHolidayThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/24/special-delivery--relocated-for-memorial-day.aspx#Comments36a81742-d4a2-4424-ac88-0cc377fe74c1Sun, 24 May 2009 14:20:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/24/special-delivery--relocated-for-memorial-day.aspx?ref=rssAny Way You Slice Ithttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/7OxJ6A-vIuo/any-way-you-slice-it.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>If piece of mind wished to be found it would probably rest itself in the shade of a leafy maple, or wander a busy thoroughfare until someone gave it a lift.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Instead it skips, mischievously, just out of reach beyond anxiety, nostalgia<STRONG> </STRONG>and blistered feet.<BR><BR>Anxiety was waiting impatiently in aisle 17 of the local supermarket.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Beans as brown as the shiny bag that encased them, for $7.99 a pound they promised to be my best friend.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Deceptively smooth and nutty aromas inhabited the kitchen as the hot water caressed the grounds and flowed easily into the waiting carafe.<BR><BR>The first cup was exquisite.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>My tongue singed and dead to any other flavor, I was ready for another.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Calm competed for my affection as the brackish liquid took me in its grasp.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Halfway through the eleventh cup my fingernails were sweating and my eyeballs had begun searching frantically for a new place to take up residence.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The clerk who sold me this stuff should be ashamed.<BR><BR>Nostalgia is a more visceral companion than I would have anticipated prior to our first meeting.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>More intense and encompassing than mere memories, nostalgia attacks on all fronts.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>One particular episode from 3<SUP>rd</SUP> Grade grabs my spleen and refuses to let go.<BR><BR>My feet have just begun to experience a raw rubbing sensation.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I can’t wait for them to develop the first signs of small fluid-filled vesicles.<BR></FONT><BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/05/19/any-way-you-slice-it" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/7OxJ6A-vIuo" height="1" width="1"/>TransitionsPhilosophyHumorThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/19/any-way-you-slice-it.aspx#Comments30f9b443-3be2-4a96-8426-7f8fc6254a16Tue, 19 May 2009 16:46:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/19/any-way-you-slice-it.aspx?ref=rssI'm Glad You Askedhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/vZMT4LtqSq0/im-glad-you-asked.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>If you took a universe and sliced it up the size of tea biscuits, how much Earl Grey would you need?<BR><BR>Much like the principals in the Spanish Inquisition, I’ve never really looked for answers, but have satisfied myself with trying to find more entertaining ways to ask the questions.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>When pressed I must admit to a certain curiosity, but not being terribly concerned with, who built the Great Pyramids, how many stars speckle the night sky, or why the chicken crossed the road.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Most explanations can eventually be rendered by a subtle geometric interpretation of the color blue.<BR><BR>Our focus here is less on our feathered friend’s reasons and more on the unknowable aspects of the path creating the chicken’s dilemma; not to mention that of any other perplexed theoretical animals lining the byway.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>My guess is the road is just as confused as the chicken.<BR><BR>At first glance, the road seems firmly planted in reality, yet its very existence appears to be a matter of perception.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Intertwined with the larger system of national roadways it can’t possibly have any sense of its own purpose, or direction.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>If you were to ask the road, “Where are you going?”, for instance, it would be hard pressed to give a definitive answer.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Even if it were given reasonable language skills and a proper mouth, the chicken could probably give you no better idea.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>North, South, East, West; each toting a knapsack of truth and out for a cruise.<BR><BR>A properly asked question is much less ambiguous.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>But, care must be taken.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Ask the chicken which foot he’ll move first, or in which direction, and the poor beast will probably never move again.<BR><BR>The road seems crowded from my vantage, everyone out for a spin and all believing they’re speeding toward a particular truth.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A truth they don’t seem willing to see is constantly changing vehicles.<BR><BR>It’s mesmerizing to watch the blur.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>At some point in my life I suppose I may find it necessary to join the traffic, but until then…<BR><BR>There’s nobody here but us chickens.<BR></FONT><BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/05/13/im-glad-you-asked" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/vZMT4LtqSq0" height="1" width="1"/>WritingPhilosophyHumorThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/13/im-glad-you-asked.aspx#Commentsc806d209-8a92-48b3-bb43-61b3aed0b72fWed, 13 May 2009 19:45:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/13/im-glad-you-asked.aspx?ref=rssI'm Sure She Nosehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/Ouyc3oozS4c/im-sure-she-nose.aspxPinhole<FONT face=Tahoma size=3></FONT><BR><FONT face=Georgia size=3>Yet another reason why I'll probably never make it in the greeting card business:<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><FONT face=Tahoma size=6>        <SPAN style="COLOR: #54c57a">    <SPAN style="COLOR: #297a44">Of all the Mom's in the world...<BR></SPAN></SPAN>           <IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/nosevectorjsm.jpg"><BR><BR>                       <SPAN style="COLOR: #297a44">I'd Pick You!<BR></SPAN></FONT></FONT><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/05/10/im-sure-she-nose" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/Ouyc3oozS4c" height="1" width="1"/>Cartoon charactersMomThoughtsImagesHolidayHumorGreeting Cardshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/10/im-sure-she-nose.aspx#Commentsdca82731-cb0f-463a-bc05-d5f4af6a9fc4Sun, 10 May 2009 14:44:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/10/im-sure-she-nose.aspx?ref=rssOff The Hoof - Fleeting Thoughts From An Obscure Twig-Eater #2http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/YsT9ArDypRw/off-the-hoof--fleeting-thoughts-from-an-obscure-twigeater.aspxPinhole<BR>                                                                            <IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/proctol2.jpg"><BR><BR><BR><FONT size=6>          <FONT face=Tahoma>"Integrity should never be for sale.<BR>           Leasing is always the way to go."<BR></FONT>                                   <IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/anonnysig.jpg"><BR><BR></FONT><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/05/05/off-the-hoof--fleeting-thoughts-from-an-obscure-twigeater" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/YsT9ArDypRw" height="1" width="1"/>Cartoon charactersQuotesA. Nonny MooseImagesPhilosophyHumorThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/05/off-the-hoof--fleeting-thoughts-from-an-obscure-twigeater.aspx#Comments282f01fb-89b3-4cb2-949a-4dc45dd54d6cTue, 05 May 2009 21:54:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/05/off-the-hoof--fleeting-thoughts-from-an-obscure-twigeater.aspx?ref=rssCorrugated Condohttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/jZ748pFuDrE/corrugated-condo.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>I’m Free!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I’m Free!<BR><BR>Free from employment!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Free from the drudge of a 12-hour shift!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Free from being a slave to 3 meals a day and gas heat!<BR><BR>To celebrate the occasion I’ve begun growing my hair and beard to a disturbing length in the event that my primary mode of transportation becomes a shopping cart (or, for <A href="http://chriswoodbooks.blogspot.com/">Chris’s</A> benefit, a trolley), I won’t have a long wait until I fit in.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Whenever possible I’m in favor of smooth transitions, and blending seamlessly and invisibly, into whatever caste I happen to find myself.<BR><BR>So, I would request that you “<EM>Wish me luck”</EM>, or if this seems to go against your better judgment and you happen to be in the market for a large appliance…please, save me the box.<BR></FONT><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></SPAN> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/05/01/corrugated-condo" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/jZ748pFuDrE" height="1" width="1"/>TransitionsThoughtsHumorBlogginghttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/01/corrugated-condo.aspx#Comments8ba0768d-ac54-4c04-81c6-927ca81b395cFri, 01 May 2009 16:54:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/01/corrugated-condo.aspx?ref=rssDuck-Billed Platitudeshttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/l41yj4BQmxI/duckbilled-platitudes.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Given the distressing state of the global economy I feel a bit bad about having to lay off my employer, though I’m confident that in due course they’ll find another Pinhole, or at least a more agreeable substitute.<BR><BR>On several occasions I’ve had <STRONG>“discussions”</STRONG> with supervisors, and found them invigorating and enlightening.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The supervisors seemed to only find them unnecessary.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Witnessing my rapidly growing frustration with these <STRONG>“chats”</STRONG> a colleague recently advised me, <EM>“Don’t judge your boss until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.”<BR></EM><BR>So I stole his shoes (luckily, size 10), and after approximately 20 minutes I had traveled about 5,280 feet, but felt no closer to an understanding of his position.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Oddly enough, when he caught up with me he exhibited little tolerance for my exercise in empathy.<BR><BR>On the stroll back to work, all I was able to glean from this experiment was that the world isn’t any rosier in your stocking feet.<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></FONT></SPAN> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/04/29/duckbilled-platitudes" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/l41yj4BQmxI" height="1" width="1"/>TransitionsWritingThoughtsHumorBlogginghttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/04/29/duckbilled-platitudes.aspx#Comments767fbeb1-ef6c-4f62-a7d8-0f47505f27f8Thu, 30 Apr 2009 00:33:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/04/29/duckbilled-platitudes.aspx?ref=rssSchrödinger's Bloghttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/NjONMXOmNFE/schrödingers-blog.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>I have a bone to pick with whoever is in charge of the distribution of ideas.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>All of my shipments are arriving in random spurts instead of the sequence in which they were ordered.<BR><BR>Okay, not all of them.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I can still construct an acceptable meatloaf sandwich with most of the ingredients inside the slices of bread, and rarely, anymore, are my undergarments on display outside my Levi’s</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 8pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT face=Tahoma size=3>®.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN><BR><BR></FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>But, more often than not, graphic compositions are manifested line by agonizing line with no prior knowledge as to whether I’m sketching a <A href="http://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/01/31/license-and-revelation-please.aspx">camel or a bad dream</A>.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Both excellent modes of transportation, but with little else in common; and until final rendering their existence is only theoretical.<BR><BR>Similarly, any package resembling literary inspiration seems to require opening from the inside out.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Just yesterday these two sentences arrived with no explanation, and no return address, COD:<BR><BR><SPAN style="COLOR: #220ee6"><STRONG><EM>”Anything that stood still long enough around Grandpa eventually got a coat of paint.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I always felt a little bad after Chestnut foundered, but I will have to admit that a whitewashed Shetland pony never rusts.”</EM></STRONG></SPAN><BR><BR>If these passages are ever to become part of something larger than themselves it would be necessary to start with <STRONG><EM>“Chestnut”</EM></STRONG> and work outward, perhaps desperately, in several directions.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Until that time the poor horse is both alive and dead.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A virtual character locked in a philosophical non-existence.<BR><BR>It would be nice if some morning I roll over to hit the snooze button, wipe a little crusty thing from the corner of my eye, stretch the length of the bed and think, <STRONG>“Once upon a time…”</STRONG>;<STRONG> </STRONG>followed by a logical series of events ending with a nice lunch of chicken soup and saltines, capped off by a sweet dessert of, <STRONG>“...And they lived happily ever after.”<BR></STRONG><BR>Hey, a guy can hope.<BR><BR>Hang on, I’m picking up something about a goat…<BR></FONT><BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/04/24/schrödingers-blog" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/NjONMXOmNFE" height="1" width="1"/>ScienceSchrödingerWritingdeathPhilosophyHumorFamilyhttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/04/24/schrödingers-blog.aspx#Commentsfa2287be-566a-4e6b-90cc-db98da035b9eFri, 24 Apr 2009 17:38:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/04/24/schrödingers-blog.aspx?ref=rssAssume A Positionhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/_rquF95034Y/assume-a-position.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Decisions, decisions.<BR><BR>For all of the fact gathering, and cud chewing, in an attempt to arrive at a reasonable judgment, it is my experience that these elusive creatures are born rather than made.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>What I imagined to be a seriously considered independent personal choice, I recently traced, through a series of events, to circumstances that occurred at least 17 years ago.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A lengthy gestation by any standard, yet I assure you I could have tracked its origins much further.<BR><BR>Given such a span, conception naturally becomes an irrelevant and forgotten element in the process, but this doesn’t make the journey of discovery any less fascinating.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Bear with me while I attempt to hammer a nail in the coffin of free will.<BR><BR>Of all the decisions in my memory, one of them stands out as most intriguing, perhaps, because it wasn’t mine.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A history of manipulation and guilt almost certainly made it more difficult, not easier, for my father and his siblings to put their mother in a nursing care facility.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Guilt has a funny way of making people doubt their own motives.<BR><BR>Feeling, somewhat justifiably, that Life had handed her a sack of lemons, rather than concoct an icy refreshment Grandma chose to allow the fruit to languish on the counter and rot; proceeding to inform anyone within earshot of the details of its continued decomposition.<BR><BR>On two separate occasions a husband raced her to the grave, and won.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The first succumbed to a ruptured appendix and the second died from what I can only assume was fatigue.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>No children left at home to help with the farm, she was forced to take up residence in a small town nearby, and found herself living in the half of a duplex owned, but not occupied, by Mrs. Clark.<BR><BR>Mrs. Clark was a quiet, selfless widow.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Although older than Grandma, she had a driver’s license, a car, and a disposition better suited to operating a large gas-powered vehicle, so would often take Grandma to buy groceries, or run any necessary errands.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Living in such close proximity Mrs. Clark could also help monitor Grandma’s numerous prescriptions.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>To anyone willing to take a second look, it was clear that the services and friendship offered by Mrs. Clark would ease any burden.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Unfortunately, gratitude wasn’t in Grandma’s repertoire.<BR><BR>Once Mrs. Clark left for that Big Duplex in the Sky, it was necessary to make other arrangements.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>For a short time Grandma tried living alone in a small house in the same small town, but without Mrs. Clark nearby to help ration her pill intake Grandma tended to overmedicate, and spend much of her time flying around the living room.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The flying itself wasn’t such an issue until she began gaining sufficient altitude that landing became a problem.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The last time they peeled Grandma off the ceiling it was clear that a 24-hour care facility was the most viable option, though no one felt any particular sense of glee at the prospect.<BR><BR>For years I was too absorbed in my own journey to view these circumstances with anything resembling empathy.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And being so absorbed, any sense of objectivity was obviously lacking concerning my own path.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Glancing over my shoulder, now, I can easily manufacture more logic than when looking forward, and, for the present, the universe appears to appreciate chaos as much as order.<BR><BR>It would be comforting to think I am able to maintain a little control over my destiny, but yesterday I caught my boys leafing through nursing home brochure...<BR><BR>And I began to wonder.<BR></FONT><BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/04/15/assume-a-position" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/_rquF95034Y" height="1" width="1"/>TransitionshonestyWritingThoughtsHumorFamilyhttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/04/15/assume-a-position.aspx#Commentsef9b6f34-d77a-4782-b4a2-3b7819302e18Thu, 16 Apr 2009 01:08:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/04/15/assume-a-position.aspx?ref=rssWe're So Sorry, Uncle Alberthttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/i8utaMzHs1s/were-so-sorry-uncle-albert.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>If extreme beige is considered a color then the walls of the conference room were a shade long forgotten by the Crayola</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT face=Tahoma size=3><FONT size=1>®</FONT> </FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>company.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Given the soft lighting, the rhythmic rocking of my unbalanced chair and the subject matter of the meeting, I was a little surprised to still be awake.<BR><BR>Management was bound and determined to demonstrate to the home office that the methods that saved Toyota<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT face=Tahoma size=3><FONT size=1>®</FONT></FONT></SPAN> would improve the profit margin and eliminate waste at our local facility.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Numbers being magical entities that bend to our whims, the results were easy to manipulate, though it was still important to go through the motions and acquaint employees with the program.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>You can’t pull a rabbit from a hat without at some point reaching one hand or the other below the brim.<BR><BR>Since daydreaming is much less conspicuous than sleeping, during the introduction I began to imagine what it would be like if Einstein worked where I do.<BR><BR>”We’ve examined your equation, <STRONG>E=mc²</STRONG></FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 8.5pt"><FONT face=Tahoma>, Albert, and after applying</FONT><FONT face=Tahoma> </SPAN></FONT><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Lean principles, have decided, in order to save valuable time, to get rid of the <STRONG>‘m’</STRONG>.”<BR><BR>”Excuse me?!” replies the genius, his eyes reflecting the same frantic chaos has his hair.<BR><BR>”The <STRONG>‘m’</STRONG>”, his manager repeated.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>“It’s got to go.”<BR><BR>”But you can’t just eliminate <STRONG>‘mass’</STRONG>”, Einstein pleaded.<BR><BR>”Let’s leave religion out of this, Albert.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The fact is, cuts have to be made, and we here at Blunders & Drips adhere to the policy that no one is indispensable.”<BR><BR>The disheveled mathematician’s mustache is quivering so maliciously it threatens to slide off his lip.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>In seeking a Unified Theory he hadn’t supposed that one resolution should be employed for every instance in every industry.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>A holistic approach was tempting, but surely ethnic differences and religious preferences among employees, as well as regional considerations, might call for at least a review of the plan, regardless how successful it had been in Japan.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>He had never really been much of a “joiner”.<BR><BR>The slide at the front of the conference room changed, suddenly, and with the speed of light my mind returns to the training session to hear, “Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Pinhole?”<BR><BR>Crap.<BR><BR>”Honestly”, I found myself answering, “I don’t have the energy for this, anymore.”<BR><BR><BR><FONT face=Garamond>(This post is in response to the writing prompt on <A href="http://terryheath.com/creative-writing-prompt-fiction-techniques-in-the-personal-essay/">Terry Heath's blog</A>.)</FONT><BR><BR><BR></FONT></SPAN><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P> <P> </P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/04/05/were-so-sorry-uncle-albert" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/i8utaMzHs1s" height="1" width="1"/>TransitionshonestyrelativityHumorAlbert Einsteinhttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/04/05/were-so-sorry-uncle-albert.aspx#Comments47505aad-f7bc-4301-a2f8-93ac7baf8e62Mon, 06 Apr 2009 01:29:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/04/05/were-so-sorry-uncle-albert.aspx?ref=rssDolls "Яn't" Ushttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/n37uxpSTO8Q/dolls-яnt-us.aspxPinhole                                                          <BR><BR><BR><BR>                                                          <IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/marsupialbarbie2.jpg"><BR><BR><BR><FONT face=Tahoma size=4>                   Just thank your lucky stars that I didn't post images of <BR><SPAN style="COLOR: #4d9e21"><FONT size=6>             "Upper and Lower G.I. Joe"<SPAN style="COLOR: #020202"><SPAN><FONT size=4>.</FONT></SPAN></SPAN></FONT></SPAN></FONT><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/03/31/dolls-яnt-us" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/n37uxpSTO8Q" height="1" width="1"/>G. I. JoeparodyImagesHumorDollsBarbiehttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/31/dolls-яnt-us.aspx#Comments16d8e8d8-cc27-4fbd-b2fb-b256a9cf37ddWed, 01 Apr 2009 00:38:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/31/dolls-яnt-us.aspx?ref=rssOff The Hoof - Fleeting Thoughts From An Obscure Twig-Eaterhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/GuBCxKvvAIg/off-the-hoof--fleeting-thoughts-from-an-obscure-twigeater.aspxPinhole<BR><BR>                                                                    <IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/eaglecombover002_copy.jpg"><BR><BR><BR><FONT face=Tahoma size=6>"An epiphany is the point at which you realize you've only been fooling yourself."<BR>                                    <IMG src="http://images.quickblogcast.com/86721-75793/anonnysig.jpg"><FONT size=3><BR><BR></FONT><BR>                                    </FONT><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/03/28/off-the-hoof--fleeting-thoughts-from-an-obscure-twigeater" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/GuBCxKvvAIg" height="1" width="1"/>Cartoon charactersQuotesThoughtsImagesHumorA. Nonny Moosehttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/28/off-the-hoof--fleeting-thoughts-from-an-obscure-twigeater.aspx#Comments762c3ce9-5b09-49dc-bf91-fbb1c929b0e3Sat, 28 Mar 2009 23:07:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/28/off-the-hoof--fleeting-thoughts-from-an-obscure-twigeater.aspx?ref=rssAn Open Letter to John Prinehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/emjLBbNg-uc/an-open-letter-to-john-prine.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Dear Mr. Prine (If I may be so <STRONG>bold</STRONG>),</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Though I consider myself fortunate to be conspicuously lacking in heroes, as such, I do regret having missed countless opportunities for acknowledging the influence of certain individuals that I admire, or with whom I may share an interest.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>For years it was my fondest wish to meet Red Skelton, however, unless my condition worsens his untimely demise has left little chance for introductions.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Rumors persist that Dick Van Dyke, another favorite, has also deceased yet remains sufficiently animated to perform at least 1 more year of series television.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>So, pen in hand, I take aim at you before it's too late. (Don't worry.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I haven't heard anything.)<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Not only have I enjoyed your work immensely for over 30 years, we also seem to share an affinity for the manipulation of words and phrases that in various parts of the United States still pass for language.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The difference being, of course, your possession of considerable talents, which provide an application for these musings. (This was originally intended as a compliment.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I guess I need a little work on my backhand.)</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Accompanying this correspondence you will find a link to a metered query occasioned by the deaths of my father and 3 uncles.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>If printed and folded in accordance with the detailed diagram on the back it makes a really neat tabletop football.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>If you can think of an alternative method for giving life to this meager verse through the twisting and rearranging of vowels and consonants, please feel free to use my name and pay me handsomely.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>If not, well...to hell with it.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I enjoyed writing the letter, anyway.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Additionally, it would be my humble pleasure to someday make your acquaintance, but given my thoroughly abysmal social skills, and possessing absolutely no aptitude for small talk, if we ever actually do meet we must hope to have experienced a particularly nasty stretch of weather that week so as not to be starved for conversation.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Gards again,</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Pinhole<BR><BR><STRONG>Verse link:</STRONG>  <STRONG><FONT size=5>"</FONT></STRONG><A href="http://www.orourkeville.com/user/THIS%20IS%20MY%20QUESTw.htm"><STRONG><FONT size=5>This Is My Quest"<BR><BR><BR></FONT></STRONG></A></FONT><BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/03/26/an-open-letter-to-john-prine" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/emjLBbNg-uc" height="1" width="1"/>Red SkeltonMusicPoetryJohn PrineCorrespondenceTributeDick Van Dykehttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/26/an-open-letter-to-john-prine.aspx#Commentsfa25117b-28a4-4e39-ba4f-a3953adbb62cThu, 26 Mar 2009 14:57:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/26/an-open-letter-to-john-prine.aspx?ref=rssWelcome Mattehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/Jf0boiI0y4Y/welcome-matte.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Today, I’d like to say a few words in defense of a much maligned and little understood material…<STRONG><EM>Felt</EM></STRONG>.<BR><BR>Much more than the past tense of the verb “<STRONG>feel</STRONG>”, <STRONG>felt</STRONG> is actually the 26<SUP>th</SUP> element in the Periodic Table.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Even in this, the 21<SUP>st</SUP> Century, there are those who believe the symbol “Fe” represents iron.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>You’d think everyone would know that there is no “e” in iron; and the “F” is silent.<BR><BR>Legend has it that an early form of <STRONG>felt</STRONG> resulted from a fleece lined Noah’s Ark; treated to abundant urine and trampled by restless yaks an early wall-to-wall carpet emerged.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>More recently, similar experiments have been credited with the formation of Dick Cheney; and, to this day, it is still the preferred method for achieving that “new carpet” smell.<BR><BR>In fact, the list of items that can be made from <STRONG>felt</STRONG> is practically endless; from hats, to the little hammers that strike piano strings, to many of the more expensive brands of bologna.<BR><BR>And where would the Art World be without this miracle fabric?<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Do you, honestly, think Van Gogh could have created those marvelous textures with merely some paint, a brush and a Swiss Army Knife?<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>And they don’t inform you on the Vatican tour that for the Sistine Chapel ceiling Michelangelo worked, almost exclusively, in <STRONG>roofing felt</STRONG>.<BR><BR>Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get my new suit to the cleaners before they close.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>For mail order, it’s an almost perfect fit…I sure hope they can do something about the odor.<BR></FONT><BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/03/20/welcome-matte" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/Jf0boiI0y4Y" height="1" width="1"/>FeltHumorBlogginghttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/20/welcome-matte.aspx#Comments90a34ba4-a369-4237-8b99-811eebd0205fFri, 20 Mar 2009 17:47:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/20/welcome-matte.aspx?ref=rssThe Great Grammar Debatehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/MQLaH-km-pk/the-great-grammar-debate.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>Immediately following a supposed routine doctors visit when I was in second grade, I was hospitalized for what the learned physician had determined was "colon" trouble. This was my first introduction to evidence of the importance of punctuation. Imagine the sheer terror, approximately 2 weeks after my release, at being asked by Mrs. Driscoll to step up to the blackboard and diagram an entire sentence. Beads of perspiration emerged from my forehead as I approached the front of the room, feeling certain that misplacing anything so vital as a predicate would involve, at the very least, a lengthy stay in a nursing home.<BR><BR>Language can be a funny thing. Unless you're seven years old. And of all modern word systems ENGLISH has to be one of the most perplexing. Obscure spellings with "silent letters"; words with 2, 3, sometimes 4 or more meanings; several different words with the same meaning; and, as far as I can tell, commas are just up for grabs.<BR><BR>Even the terms used to describe particular aspects of the language are, at best, misleading. As a child, for example, I thought that a "participle" was an icy treat Mom kept in the freezer as a reason to send us out of the house on those hot summer afternoons. Of course, now I know it is a reference in religious circles to any one of Jesus' more notable followers. And I'm still convinced that "Gerund" was the kid who sat behind me in 6th Grade.<BR><BR>In an effort to eliminate this kind of confusion it was determined that language should be governed by certain rules. Rules for grammar. Rules for spelling. Rules for punctuation. Rules obviously written by a committee of drunken dyslexic chimpanzees during Mardi Gras, rendering said rules, as in the case of welfare reform, completely incomprehensible.<BR><BR>There are actually more exceptions than rules. Many of them developed during the cold war to prevent soviet spies from decoding the defense department's Fingerhut order forms. Departures from established procedures, such as; "i" before "e", except after "c", or, when followed by the long "eeee"sound, or, if Great Aunt Beatrice's liver spots begin to fester prior to the autumnal equinox, in which case women over age 37 may continue to wear white through Groundhog Day, and we'll have six more weeks of adverbs.<BR><BR>And no discussion of English as a means of communication could be considered complete without the mention of "Slang". "Slang", as we all know, was the nickname of the revered chairman of the aforementioned committee of chimps, who also served as "Bacchus" in the parade. His grieving widow has asked that his true identity not be revealed after that unfortunate incident with the "Preparation H" float. She's just relieved that he no longer suffers any painful itching or swelling.<BR><BR>I must clarify, in closing, that as contradictory as the instructions seem for manipulating our language, we must have them. The alternative would be chaos, pandemonium, and the probable devaluation of the American advertising dollar.<BR><BR>To do my part to save our country from linguistic anarchy I'm planning an intense afternoon conjugating some verbs.<BR><BR>But first, the nurse says I need to get my rest.<BR></FONT><BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/03/15/the-great-grammar-debate" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/MQLaH-km-pk" height="1" width="1"/>LanguageJuxtapositionLiteratureWritingHumorBooksMardi Grashttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/15/the-great-grammar-debate.aspx#Commentsddd5b350-8bab-4a00-81c4-818028d093d4Sun, 15 Mar 2009 14:11:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/15/the-great-grammar-debate.aspx?ref=rssAccidental Sexhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/BbDDMOMarAc/accidental-sex.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma>The premise for today's lecture is based on personal observation.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Whether it really happened, or was simply the consequence of one too many naps during THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW is completely irrelevant to anyone but my therapist.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The important thing is that some of what I believe I might remember stands at least a slight chance of seeming plausible.<BR><BR>I'm pretty sure this first part was a dream because it was rather abstract, surreal, and all fuzzy around the edges like when Rob Petrie used to dream about Laura and Richie on the old <A href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dick_Van_Dyke_Show">"Dick Van Dyke Show"</A>.<BR><BR>I recall a talk show stage set with three chairs.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Seated in two of the chairs were, if we were to employ a very loose interpretation of Webster's definition, a man (we'll call him Bob) and a woman (we'll call her Lorraine).<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Apparently, the man was being castigated by the audience for having had an affair with his wife's sister's pet llama (we'll call it Bernice).<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Lorraine actually seemed more concerned that Bernice had stretched her best white lace teddy beyond recognition and that the two had almost completely destroyed the upholstery in the back seat of their Pinto.<BR><BR>At this point I must have awakened because my regular theme music came on and <A href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Reiner">Carl Reiner</A> gave a short narration explaining my return to consciousness.<BR><BR>Focusing on the real television in my bedroom, and judging by the appearance of the couple on the screen, Webster and I would both need to seriously reconsider our position on Homo Sapiens.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>As it turned out, Bob actually had experienced an illicit encounter of some sort, and in the middle of the screaming, before Bernice even had a chance to tell her side of the story, he attempted to rationalize the whole thing by claiming it was an "accident".<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Being a single adult male I began immediately, and for the next few days, to ponder the mechanics involved in having your reproductive organs inadvertently land someplace you hadn't originally intended.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>While the concept seemed intriguing, the prospect was rather frightening, and as a precaution I was careful to see that my pants were secured, day and night, for several weeks.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Of course, if Bob were to manage to plead his case successfully it would open quite a can of worms.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>So to speak.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Senator's caught in flagrante delicto with their secretary slash lap dancer would only need bat their eyelids a few times and mutter, "Where am I?"<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Astrologers with Mercury rising, or Pluto in Uranus, well...that's just sick.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>There can't possibly be any justification for that kind of mistreatment of one of Disney's most beloved characters!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>We have to draw the line somewhere.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>But, who is to determine where that line is to be dra...yes, a question in back?</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Why did I happen to be watching <I style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">The Springer Show</I>?</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Um...How should I know?<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I was asleep.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'New York'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><BR><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>Ask <A href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Reiner">Carl Reiner</A>.<BR></FONT><BR><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">     </SPAN></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/03/13/accidental-sex" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/BbDDMOMarAc" height="1" width="1"/>Dick Van DykeWritingCarl ReinerHumorTVThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/13/accidental-sex.aspx#Commentse9ef43b9-5eee-4826-b91b-6a11fbf51bd7Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:14:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/13/accidental-sex.aspx?ref=rssA Novel Ideahttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/muMjo4v8gO0/a-novel-idea.aspxPinhole<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><BR>For the past several months I've been working very hard on a fictional novel. Once I'm through with it I'm thinking of trying to write one myself.<BR><BR>Seriously, though, I've already taken a stab at it. And after countless hours of staring at my computer screen, agonizing over each syllable, repeatedly revising whole sentences and logging some serious nap time, I have approximately one and a half pages of rough draft. So what began as a simple germ of an idea has blossomed into merely a thought with a gland condition. Of course, this can be traced directly to the fact that I have the attention span of an adolescent spider monkey on crack.<BR><BR>Even during my years as a slave to nicotine I smoked cigarettes almost exclusively. Not because of the delicate aroma. Not because I liked the way carrying the pack in my shirt pocket made one breast appear larger than the other. Not because I felt the sleek lines of a cigarette made me look "cool". Well, okay, maybe that was part of it, but, the main reason was that after puffing on a cigarette for 5 to 7 minutes I could stomp it out with my heel (another very "cool" move, by the way) and fire up another one immediately. On the other hand, I might spend literally days fiddling and fumbling with a cigar, and having removed the cellophane, there was still the process of smoking the blasted thing.<BR><BR>Obviously, the cigar is analogous to a complete book, and, the cigarettes are representative of a breast-feeding deprivation and delayed puberty brought on by a domineering fath...um...or, they could be indicative of my preference for shorter articles and essays. Yes, that's right. Clearly symptoms of my inability to remain focused.<BR><BR>Speaking of mollusks, it finally boils down to the fact that someone must accept culpability for such a glaring character flaw. I think we all know who that is.<BR><BR>Society. Our parents. The local radial tire dealer. Pick a name.<BR><BR>We live in an age of instant gratification where it seems that no one need take responsibility for his or her own actions. An age of fast cars, fast food, fast money, fast food, fast women...<BR><BR><FONT size=4><STRONG><EM>Good God! What a wonderful time to be alive!</EM></STRONG></FONT><BR><BR>We should all fall immediately to our knees and give thanks to whichever deity might respond the quickest that we live in a culture where for a few dollars, and about 10 spare minutes of our time, the entire family can pile into the mini-van, run down the block and be back parked in front of the TV munching on a "Bucket O' Dead Fowl Bathed in Grease" (extra crispy) before tip-off of the Laker's game. Whereas, if we lived in one of the more underdeveloped nations, it would take hours just to maneuver our oxen around to the drive-thru window at Burger King. And by the time we got back to our hut by the river the game would be over, there would be nothing to watch but old "Laverne & Shirley" reruns, and our fries would be cold. Sure, occasionally we get cold fries in the United States, but thank goodness we can blame that pimply-faced pip-squeak behind the grill!<BR><BR>What was I talking about, again? Oh yeah, the Eisenhower administration.<BR><BR>Even if I were to pen a full-length manuscript it would probably be your typical, run-of-the-mill, boy meets girl, boy misplaces girl, boy spends several chapters having keen adventures while trying to remember where he last saw girl, boy ends up in gypsy caravan as a cross-dressing fortuneteller married to a senator from Oklahoma kind of story. Or, a riveting science fiction novel where the protagonist (Greek for "gullible weenie") gets sucked into a parallel universe through a portal created by the grime in his shower stall, spends several chapters having keen adventures and ends up a senator from Oklahoma married to a cross-dressing gypsy fortuneteller. Or, maybe a cross-dressing gypsy senator from Oklahoma who marries a rodeo clow...Ah, the hell with it.<BR><BR>Gotta light?<BR><BR></SPAN><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/03/10/a-novel-idea" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/muMjo4v8gO0" height="1" width="1"/>WritingHumorThoughtshttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/10/a-novel-idea.aspx#Commentsd21c9791-f6e1-47a8-acd9-8e0611ceb6ceWed, 11 Mar 2009 00:40:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/10/a-novel-idea.aspx?ref=rssThe Dark Side...Walkhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~3/VpVFrCztsdE/the-dark-sidewalk.aspxPinhole<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT face="Times New Roman"><BR><FONT face=Tahoma size=3>You might be surprised at the number of things that won’t operate in the absence of electricity.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>In the midst of commenting on another blog yesterday my power went out, and immediately I thought, “What would Edison do?”<BR><BR></FONT></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=3>TV was out of the question.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The computer was, obviously, a no-go.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The coffeemaker, blender, stove, toaster and new phones weren’t functioning.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Even the cat seemed sluggish, but that may have been the lack of air conditioning.<BR><BR></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=3>As I sat, quietly, on the front step enjoying a small breeze, waiting for my power to be restored, an ant wandered by in the dirt beside the sidewalk.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Just a typical ant going about its ant business doing typical ant things; and it dawned on me that the ant’s power hadn’t gone out.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>This ant was enjoying the same luxuries it had been experiencing all day.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>I was this close (holds right thumb and forefinger about ½ inch apart) to a profound analogy when, suddenly, a 2<SUP>nd</SUP> ant appeared.<BR><BR></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=3>It approached the 1<SUP>st</SUP> ant and over the course of a few seconds there was some sort of exchange.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>The 2<SUP>nd</SUP> ant nodded in my direction as the 1<SUP>st</SUP> ant glanced up, and both of their little shoulders seemed to start shaking.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>It was clear that the 2<SUP>nd</SUP> ant had informed the 1<SUP>st</SUP> ant of my electrical problems.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </SPAN>Not only that, they were both finding it terribly amusing!<BR><BR></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=3>This morning as I left the house a procession of ants, hauling what looked like 2 little ant caskets, paraded across the sidewalk; several of them flashing wicked stares in my direction.<BR><BR></FONT><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><FONT face=Tahoma>I don’t care what Al Gore says; tonight I’m sleeping with the light on.<BR><BR><BR></FONT><SPAN style="COLOR: #c33333"><FONT face=Tahoma>(This is in response to the writing challenge, <A href="http://middlezonemusings.com/wilf-a-sidewalk/">"What I learned from...A Sidewalk"</A> over at <A href="http://middlezonemusings.com/">MiddleZoneMusings</A>.  Not qualified for the prize, however, because I think I had posted something very similar on a, now defunct, site a few years ago.)<BR></FONT></SPAN> </SPAN></P><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; LINE-HEIGHT: 0; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~6/3"><IMG style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" alt="Pinhole's Blog" src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/PinholesBlog.3.gif"></A></P> <P style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px; FONT-SIZE: x-small; PADDING-TOP: 0px; TEXT-ALIGN: left"><A onclick="window.open(this.href, 'haHowto', 'width=520,height=600,toolbar=no,address=no,resizable=yes,scrollbars'); return false" href="http://www.feedburner.com/fb/a/headlineanimator/install?id=1438471&w=3" target=_blank>↑ Grab this Headline Animator</A></P><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Support This Site" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/promo_468x60_01.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR><A href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/storeref.aspx?refby=pinholeshop"><IMG height=60 alt="Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free" src="http://www.cafepress.com/content/banners/cp_referral_468x60.gif" width=468 border=0></A><BR> <SCRIPT src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~s/PinholesBlog?i=/2009/03/08/the-dark-sidewalk" type=text/javascript charset=utf-8></SCRIPT><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PinholesBlog/~4/VpVFrCztsdE" height="1" width="1"/>Writing ChallengeWritingdeathsurrealHumorBlogginghttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/08/the-dark-sidewalk.aspx#Comments884bee02-f29b-4209-93b0-271f62f34358Sun, 08 Mar 2009 15:40:00 GMThttp://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/03/08/the-dark-sidewalk.aspx?ref=rss