Remember you don’t need to be as bold as to do a whole head of hair, highlights or doing the bottom half of your hair so that the roots are not such an issue is also possible.

Draw is on Friday at midday or as close as I can, so hurry and don’t miss the chance to brighten your world

Materials:
- Candle
- Cinnamon sticks – make sure you have enough to go around the whole candle. I got some from the health shop, the whole bag was about R16
- Glue gun
- Pencil
- small hand saw

You need to mark and cut the cinnamon sticks to the same level as the top of your candle. Martha suggested using gardening sheers to cut them but I found that this crushed the sticks and left untidy edges. The Geek suggested a small saw and this worked much better. While sawing you get such a lovely smell of fresh cinnamon it is like being in a bakery

Then glue gun the sticks to the candle. I first put the glue on the sticks as I was afraid of melting the candle more than necessary but it actually works better to put the glue on the candle and then attach to the candle. I found that the candle did not actually melt much at all.

Clean up the glue stringy bits, add a bow and viola you are done.

Give it a try

I know that this picture has received much comment. Most about whether a child this age should be breast feeding and then on the pros and cons of Attachement parenting. The photo is meant to be evocative, to get people to buy a magazine. It is very clever, if it was a more hippy looking mom (and I say this without any malice, just to illustrate a stereotype, one which I think I fall into in many ways) with dreadlocks, or long un-styled hair, tie-dyed loose flowing clothes and a 3 year old in soft colours and maybe even long hair, then it would have been easy for most people to dismiss the picture. It would be so far removed and easily classify as ‘those’ strange alternative people. But the woman is young and pretty, what one friend called a MILF. They have cleverly narrowed the gap to make people feel uncomfortable.

But this is not the point. I have been around the parenting block more than once now and have had numerous discussions and debates on the various merits of one style of parenting versus another. The more I parent the more tolerant I become. I realize that it does not matter one tiny bit what someone else does. I could not care less how other people choose to parent and to be honest I doubt they care very much how I parent or how the woman in the picture parents.

So why do I get some vicious comments when I write articles on more alternative methods of parenting? My aim is to give information to others who might find that what I do feels right to them and is congruent with their beliefs and would be something they would want to try. I am under no illusion that everyone will agree with me or even want to do things the way I do. I have written on extended breast feeding before on Parent 24 and received some interesting comments both good and bad.

I think what is more at play here is, that when we feel the need to vehemently defend our own parenting style it might have more to say about our own insecurity in the way we do things, than about what other people do. We are never all going to do things the same way. We might feel strongly about the style we have chosen and even think that it would be of benefit to others. But that is their choice not ours.

I am all for giving information about the different ways people parent, it is after all, from reading other peoples accounts and methods, that I found what was congruent to me and discarded what did not feel right. Others might naturally gravitate to different choices.

I delay vaccinations for example and select which ones I am going to give. I have friends who fully vaccinate per schedule and I totally understand their choice, I have other friends who do not vaccinate at all and I understand their rationale too. Neither makes me feel the slightest bit insecure about what I have decided.

As parents we have the right to choose for our children, and as long as we are not breaking the law and abusing them, then actually, we can do it any way we want to. We all do the best we can with what we have at the time. No parent is trying to mess up their child or trying to make bad decisions. Sure we all make mistakes and are less than perfect.

Parenting can be damn hard some days, what we need is more support of each other, irrespective of our parenting choices. A little more kindness and understanding will go a long way.

While that picture might make me feel a little uncomfortable, mostly because of the way it is shot,( I have had friends Breastfeed a 3 year old and thought nothing of it) I have no right to say what she should and should not be doing, my uncomfortableness is my own and should have no bearing on her. Some people are uncomfortable with breast feeding in public at any age and I expect them to suck it up and take their thoughts away with them. I will not judge her or any other parent who chooses differently to me and I expect the same in return.

So natural birth or c-section, breast feeding or bottle, schooling or home schooling it does not matter. Follow your heart and do what feels right. Talk about what you do and be willing to let other talk about their ways even if different. Don’t feel threatened, it is no judge on the way you do it, they just do things differently.

Be nice to other parents

What did you think of the picture?
Do you feel the need to defend the way you parent?
Have you ever been attacked or criticized for your parenting style?

Materials
DK (8ply) Vinnis Cotton or equivalent
3.5mm circular needle
darning needle
stuffing
small clean baby jar
super glue
embellishments

Pattern

Cast on 36 stitches
join in the round using the magic loop method
Row 1-4 Knit a 1×1 twisted rib ( *Knit 1 through back loop purl 1* repeat from *to* around)
Row 5-8 Knit all stitches
Row 9 *knit 4, knit 2 together* Repeat from *to* around
Rows 10, 12, 14 and 16 Knit around
Row 11 *Knit 3, knit 2 together* Repeat from * to * around
Row 13 *knit 2, knit 2 togeter* Repeat from * to * around
Row 15 *knit 1, knit 2 together* Repeat from * to * around
Row 17 Knit 2 together around ( 6 stitches)

Cut off a long tail, thread end onto a darning needle, slip all stiches onto the darning needle and pull closed. Finish and secure the end on the inside.

Add any buttons or embellishments before stuffing

Super glue the jar hat onto the top of a clean baby jar lid, allow to dry. Then fill your jar with knitting accessories like buttons, pins, stitch markers etc and add the pins to the top

Enjoy
I have knitted these few to test the pattern myself but if there were any error when writing it down or anything is unclear please feel free to email me cameronsallyjane (at) gmail.com

So this weekend The Geek, who of course does not dye my hair, will be pleased to be NOT helping me *wink *wink

To share the colour love with readers of the PHG blog and as a small thank you for all the votes. I have a great giveawy for you sponsored by AnonaMiss Beauty Emporium One lucky reader will win a pot of Classic Manic Panic Hair Dye. Have you always wanted to try some colour and were not brave enough? Well enter here and it might just be the push you need.

We have 5 fun colours for you to choose from.

What to do to enter:
- Leave a comment on this blog post, say which colour your would like.
- Make up a cool alter ego name that you would call yourself, if you got to rock your new hair colour. Eg Fuschia Fox, Miss Magenta
- Like AnonaMiss Emporium’s Face Book page for an extra vote, come back here to say you have liked it so I can add a vote for you
- Tweet about the competition, again let me know here so I can count your entries
- Sadly you have to be resident in South Africa to enter.
- I will leave the competition open for a week and next Friday we will draw the winner at midday ( or as close as the kids will allow me) That way you get great colourful news right before the weekend to make you smile

Fear Not, you don’t have to dye all your hair like I do, you can start with a streak or just dye the bottom layer of your hair so that you don’t have the problem or roots growing out, the possibilities are endless.

Colours to choose from are as follows

Classic New Rose Shock
Classic Shocking Blue
Classic Rock ‘n Roll Red
Classic Green Envy
Classic Electric Banana ( just for giggles, don’t know if anyone will be brave enough )

Basic info on the Manic Panic Dye:

• Manic Panic Semi-Permanent hair cream is made from vegan-friendly natural-based ingredients, fortified with herbal and protein complexes with restorative properties.
• The original Classic range offers 28 brightly hued colours, with 14 of these best-selling colours also available in a 30% stronger, longer-lasting Amplified formula! We’re also extremely excited for two new shades of blue that will soon be available!!
• Used correctly on pre-lightened hair it can be used to create intensely bright colours (some even glowing under UV light) or give a highlight of colour over naturally lighter hair.
• Imported from New York, USA, Manic Panic was founded in 1977 by two punk-rock sisters. Although the range includes various alternative beauty products including cosmetics, wigs and hair pieces, Manic Panic is world famous for it’s off-the-chart hair dyes. Over the last three decades Manic Panic hair colour has been worn by the likes of Cindy Lauper, Annie Lenox, Rhianna, Lady Gaga and Katy Perry.

Basic info on AnonaMiss Beauty Emporium:

• Founded in 2010, ABE is the South African Distributor for the Manic Panic brand, as well as our own range of false eyelashes and a stockist of Violent Lips.
• Run by two make-up artists our aim is to add a splash of colour to your life, daring you to be different!
• Based as a home-run business in Cape Town, products can be collected from Northern Suburbs or Big Bay, as well as a selection of products can be purchased from our stockist Masque FX Warehouse in the CBD, or Needle Damage Tattoo Studio in Wynberg.
• We post products countrywide (and sometimes even across our borders) at very reasonable rates.
• Website currently being reconstructed, so please visit us at www.facebook.com/anonamissbeauty or email info@anonamiss.co.za to request a product catalogue.

**UPDATE**
Jeanette shared my story on Google Plus and got some people talking and getting someone to email or contact me, there were lots of tweets and other parents very upset as they could imagine how they would feel if it was their child. An employee that works for SAA, Nausher Rahman saw the tweets and blog post about what happened on his own private twitter stream. (SAA twitter responded 48hours after I first opened dialogue with them, not much point having a company twitter account if you are not going to monitor it and respond quickly) He got my details phoned and got someone from customer service to email me straight away. They were trying to find out exactly who they guy was. I said that it did not matter to me who he was, the failing was not his it was whoever assigned him that job, or let him do that job with no training.
But it goes deeper than than, apparently when I spoke to the Head of Customer service yesterday just to make sure that they were not going to go on a man hunt for the poor guy he said actually the Standard Operating Procedure says that it should always be a woman that accompanies minors, especially little girls and one as young as 7! I of course had not even thought of all the sinitser reasons why it makes sense they have a woman only policy for this.
They are taking this very seriously and looking into why, essentially, a porter was assigned to come and collect my daughter.

Thanks for all the support, I spoke to her and she is fine and they flew to UK last night, she was super excited.**

My little girl who is only 7 flew alone up to Johannesburg yesterday. She is going with my Mom to England today for 3 weeks to see my sister and nephew. There was no other way to get her there other than for her to fly alone. My Mom was not going to be down in Cape Town before the trip, and it was not practical or affordable for me and all 3 kids to fly up just to drop her off.

Rachel was very excited about the holiday but understandably anxious about the flight alone. She has flown quite a lot in her life and so the flying was no problem, it was just the anxiety of being unaccompanied the first time. I explained to her that someone will help her the whole way and that she will never be alone. I said a nice person would fetch her from me and take her to the plane and then on the other side someone would take her to Granny.

Well it did not work out totally as planned. I checked her in and was told to take her to the unaccompanied kids room and she would be fetched from there at 2pm. A guy comes along and says that he is here to fetch her. No explanation to me about the process, no greeting her or finding out her name or engaging her and telling her what was going to happen next. No he just takes the tickets and her bag and starts walking to the security clearance area. I had to quickly grab her and hug her and say and very rushed good bye.

He put her stuff through the scanner, we stood and waved and by this time the tears were streaming down her face. All I wanted to do was run and hurtle myself over the barriers to get to my crying child. I signed ‘I love You’ and she signed back, poor little face scared face looking at me. The guy picked up her bag and started walking, she had to walk over and get her jersey out of the scanner box and run after him. And that was the last I saw her before they disappeared into the bowels of the airport.

Now let me be very clear, the guy was not really rude nor was this his fault. I am not complaining about him as per say. I am complaining about a company SAA South African Airlines that allows someone who has no affinity for children and no natural empathy to do this job. He was more suited to being a porter. My daughter is not unaccompanied baggage! She was a scared vulnerable child and I trusted SAA to look after her when I could not. In my mind, hand picked, very well trained, child friendly staff, need to be responsible for fetching the unaccompanied minors.

I expected someone to greet me and my daughter, to introduce themselves and ask her name. To explain the whole process to me and to her in a way she could understand. Even if they were just taking her through security to the boarding gate – say that. Knowing what is happening next is vital in a process which you are anxious about. As a nurse I know the importance of keeping patients informed and explaining carefully to avoid extra unnecessary anxiety.

SAA failed me and my daughter. I went to complain and was sent all around the airport, dragging 2 tired boys behind me. Finally I found the guy at counter 30 who is involved in customer support for the check in and I explained my dissatisfaction. I said it was not the guys that collected Rachel fault and I did not have his name. I would have given it anyway. I am not blaming him, I don’t think the company trained or picked the right person for the job, he was just collecting a child and taking her to where she whould be as he was told to.

The customer service rep said that he understood my complaint and would pass it along. I asked how I knew anything would be done and he said I had to trust him but he also took my details and said that someone would call me that afternoon – Nothing.

I tweeted the SAA twitter account about it and again – Nothing. What I want, is to know that no other mother and child has to go through this. I understand that Rachel would have cried anyway, but I needed to hand her over, in that sad vulnerable state, to someone with empathy and kindness.

I am not impressed at all.

But I spoke to her when she got to my Mom’s house and all was okay, the air hostess on the plane was nice and so by the time she got to my Mom she was happy and excited again. My poor brave girl. I am going to miss her so much. It is such a big thing to fly by yourself at 7 and then for it not to be a great experience is horrible.

Come vote! Join in the fun and decide the fate of Pinky’s hair
I promised yesterday that I would give you all the vote as to what Pinky’s wedding hair will be. I have collected ideas and pictures and will share them here with you and then add the poll on the bottom in which you can all vote.

There are quite a few people that have said I should go my natural colour, to be honest this is the option that scares me the most. I used to have gorgeous strawberry blonde hair like Rachel, with natural blonde, copper, brown and red highlights it was a colour that people pay a lot for at the hairdresser, and yet highlights can never look as good as natural ones. But sadly red is a colour that fades very quickly as you grow older. Soon I was left with mousey brown hair and started adding blonde hairdresser highlights when I was about 19. My hair has not been 100% natural since then and I am not sure I really like that colour anyway. Many ladies have highlights and colour at their wedding, it does not make them any less of who they are.

A few comments made me wonder if people misunderstand my pink hair. I don’t have pink hair to hide behind and I am no less Sally-Jane for having pink hair in fact I think I am more me. Yes pink hair is a bit outrageous, but I makes me smile when I look in the mirror. It reminds me to be true to myself and follow my dreams and my heart. I was very sad, for a very long time, when I was married before. I think I lost such a big part of the fun, loving person that I am. I am now happier and more relaxed in the person I am than I ever was before. So why does natural scare me, well maybe it feels like I will fade and loose my true identity again. I will add the natural option because people have asked but please don’t vote for it only because you think it make me more myself, if anything I think it makes me less me.

Another quick word, My hair is bright pink at the moment and has been for 3 years, I can not get the pink out without damaging my hair. The options are: I can grow it out or dye colours over that will blend or make different shades. My hair grows fast but not that fast. I am not sure that some of these might not be possible purely due to the time frame.

Option 1: Pink and blonde
I love this one. I think it would be soft and beautiful for the wedding and still enough pink to be Pinky. I just worry about having enough time to grow it out.

Option 2: Light pink
I could probably get my hair to this length by the wedding – maybe and then it could all be light pink

Option 3: Light Pink with colour streaks

Option 4: Shades of Pink
The other light pink option is to go from light pink on top and fade down the the darker pink, then my hair could be longer as I would not have to cut out the darker section that is dyed now. So this picture but in reverse

I love this one too but the tones and shades of pink might depend how much and how long it has grown out

Option 5: Shades of pink down to purple/blue
I want to keep some pink but the idea of a few other colours is cool too. I like this picture but imagine the top starting in light pink and then down to my pink at the moment and then purple and then blue

Option 6: Rainbow
Pink, light pink and purple on top and yellow, green, red, blue, orange and green underneath

Option 7: Pinky as she is now

Option 8: My natural colour with blonde highlights, I refuse to be mousy brown

It all started with some pink streaks

This was not enough so next it was blond highlights in my normal hair and pink streaks. My pink day shows all the photos

I loved it like this but it was both expensive and time consuming to do as all the foil highlights had to be done twice, once for the blonde and then again for the pink.

Next came just bleaching all the hair and going totally pink all over but still going to the hairdresser for her to do it for me. I blogged about Becoming Pink I used to love going to the hairdresser and having my pink done for me. It was a great break and some real me time.

Now I just do my it myself and by that I mean with a little help. No, I did not SAY that The Geek helps me, but we all know it is a little hard to dye the back and top of your own head. Here is my DIY hair dye Tutorial

I did have a short affair with purple when I was first pregnant and did not want to bleach my hair but it did not last so long on unbleached hair and I actually like the pink. Pink Hair dilemma solved

Recently I thought I might like to have rainbow hair for the wedding and started to grow the pink out but I am not so sure.

Tomorrow I am going to put some pictures up of the hair colours I thought of and I am going to bravely open a vote and let my readers decide the fate of my hair for the wedding. Be sure to come cast your vote tomorrow and leave any ideas in the comments today of colours and styles you would like to see. I am thinking of lighter pink, or 2 tone or maybe even the rainbow still. Let me know your ideas. Bear in mind that the wedding dress is an old gold sort of colour
What do you think I should do with my hair for the wedding?

My friend Sam send me a link on FaceBook to International Bereaved Mothers Day. It was started in 2010 and falls on the first Sunday in May every year. Visit Carly Marie Project Heal for more info.

My heart and my thoughts are with all my friends and readers who have experienced infant or pregnancy loss. The quote on Carly Marie’s blog really resonated with me “The Bereaved Mother has experienced the unimaginable and yet she is still able to walk”

You walk because other kids need you to keep going, you walk because the world only acknowledges your pain for a short time and then it keep turning. Sometimes you fall when the pain in too much, but then you get up and you walk again, because you are a woman and because you are strong and beautiful.

Sam lost her little boy last year and I blogged about sending her a hug from far away The world keeps going and these amazing woman keep walking but sometimes they need to know we understand that while on the surface things might look okay, inside they bear a pain we can not even imagine.

My Dearest Sam I hope the shawl hug helps on days like that.
Wish I was closer
Love Pinky

Have you suffered a pregnancy or infant loss?
What helped you keeping walking?

But the other reason was that to be truly sustainable, we have to be living within our money framework too. Being in debt is not sustainable and money worries are anxieties are not good for relationships. It also fitted in with my word for this year which was getting organized.

I do wonder though if we get too reliant on money, we let it have too much power, yes we need it and so do other people but we can limit its grip on our soul by stepping away from the ideas that the media and other places try to sell us that stuff/gadgets/cars/jewellery etc make you happy. I love the idea of a society in which we share more skills and trade more of what we do. I have a few friends who I trade with and is is quite fun.

The emotional difference from this week to last week is quite amazing. I was on my friend Carle’s farm last Wednesday, tired from no sleep, frustrated with a toddler who was just being a toddler and feeling totally freaked out about all the money issues and worries. The day before I had been reading getting organized tips and had been reminded of the envelope system which I had heard about years ago, I thought it would be good to do and figured that with the chaos and lack of time I would never get it done.

Carle noticed I was not feeling get and probed a bit and I just gushed it all out about how worried I was about the money and how things just seemed to be getting away from us. I mentioned that I wanted to do the envelope system and she said how they had done it when money was very tight. It had worked very well, made you aware and accountable for the money you spent and helped to save for the annual expenses, so that it was not a crisis when the car needs servicing etc. She also made me set a date buy which would do it – my clever friend knows I can get a bit overwhelmed and then not do anything. I said I would do it by the end of the weekend and I did.

We don’t have any more money than we had a week ago but we do have a plan, we have control and we can do better and make our lives less stressful. Looking at it all on paper has shown me ways that I can cut money and how we can save and move things around.

When I first planned to do the budget I spoke to my mom, who I knew ran our family finances, on a very tight budget, when we were growing up and there was not much money. I had arranged to meet with her last night when she would be in Cape Town. I never actually thought I would have managed to organise it all so well on my own, so really, it was just going over what I had done, and her suggesting a few things. But because I have the most awesome parents alive there is now a portion of our debt that no longer exists. She said it was a down payment on their geriatric care There is now a bit more money to try pay the rest off faster and not just cover the interest we owe

What I learnt about money and sustainability

1) Debt is not sustainable
2) Step away evaluate what you really do need and remember money and things do not make you happy – relationship do, but debt and money worries can poison relationships so it is a fine line.
3) talk about it, other people are struggling too
4) Find people to hold you accountable to get the budget on paper
5) Find a system that works for you, I knew I had tried less drastic measures like spreadsheets before and it had not worked for me
6) Make the focus paying off the debt
7) There is a huge emotional relief in having a plan, it is like a life raft, you may not be totally out of the deep water yet but you are no longer drowning.