pink vanilla cupcakes

Technology Tuesday: UberTwitter for BlackBerry

2010-03-09T00:00:00.003-06:00

I am a gal who likes to be connected.

I like to be part of the conversation. I am on Twitter. (you DO know this, right!!??? If not, follow me!)

Anyway, I have a BlackBerry. Ugh, my BlackBerry and I are going through a rough period right now. My BlackBerry is a dead man walking. Well, dead phone walking. Its days are numbered. It knows I am going to kick it to the curb this summer when my new BFF is released. Until then, we are co-existing...peacefully. The one good thing about my BlackBerry is UberTwitter. UberTwitter is the BlackBerry Twitter app that I use. It's a pretty cool app and it is super easy to use--and free. Twitter is important to me and I love that I can stay connected to the Twitter conversation from my phone.

Here are some of the features that I love UberTwitter for (from their site):

Integrated ability to upload pictures to a site dedicated to serving ÜberTwitter users
Ability to optionally update your Google Talk status with your last tweet, making your tweets reach a wider audience than just people following you on Twitter
Automatically update your location based on the cell tower information provided by your phone, no GPS hardware required
Send videos embedded in your tweet
See everyone who is tweeting near you

I've tried other Twitter applications on my phone before, but this one is the one I've settled on. None of the other Twitter apps come close, in my opinion.

So, UberTwitter is my Technology Tuesday item. Do you use a Twitter app? For your BlackBerry? Android? iPhone? Which ones do you like?

Even pretty water bottles don't help me.

2010-03-08T14:45:00.001-06:00

I hate to drink water.

Hate it. Hate it. But, I realize that you NEED to drink water to help lose weight. I realize that Diet Coke IS NOT WATER. Sadly. I’ve always struggled with drinking water. I don’t mind the taste of it and actually don’t mind drinking it if forced to. ;)

But, I struggle with choosing to drink water. I struggle with filling up my water bottle in the mornings and refilling it during the day. It’s not that I haven’t tried. In fact, I’ve tried to make it easy to drink water.

<--------See this pic over here???

These are just a sampling of water bottles that I have at my office. I’ve taken home about 4 more since I started here three years ago. I have TONS of water bottles. All types. Pretty, corporate-y, practical, big, small, tall, short. You name it, I’ve probably got one. I thought that if I had a pretty water bottle I would drink more water. In fact, I think one of my WW leaders said to invest in a pretty water bottle so you would WANT to drink more water. Ya, not so much.

But, if you were to take a look inside my recycling bin (ooh, gross), you’d see 2-3 empty 20 oz. bottles of Diet Coke. A day, people. Proud? No. Addicted? Most certainly. I love my Diet Coke. I can’t wait to crack open a new 20 ouncer first thing in the morning. I am thrilled that our vending machines now take credit/debit cards so I don’t need cash anymore. Silly.

I know Diet Coke and all of that aspartame is what is making me feel like I am part pickled. Seriously, sometimes I feel like my insides are starting to corrode like a car battery. Yes, I know it’s not as bad as drinking regular Diet Coke, but it’s not good. And, I am not even talking about the crazy amounts of caffeine I drink a day. Crazy.

This weekend I tried to cut down my Diet Coke intake and even though I drank more than you probably did, I drank less than I normally would. It was hard.

Today, I did drink Diet Coke, but I’ve been drinking water all day too. I am hoping that I can keep weaning down my Diet Coke intake to a normal consumption level and then ultimately, replace it with Diet Coke altogether. Oh sure, I may have one every once in a while, but I hope I get to a point that I don’t even like it. I’ve heard that happens, too.

How do you get your water in? Any tips!?

Suck it up, Buttercup!

2010-03-05T15:13:00.000-06:00

Even I am tired of me. I’ve been wallowing in self-pity about life lately and some of my blog posts (well, most of them) have been rather maudlin and depressing. Debbie Downer—party of one! That’s me! I am sick of it. Sick of feeling sad about my stupid (yes, STOOOOOPPPIIIIDDD) weight loss issues. Sick of keeping things bottled up until I explode and either take it out on Jason or the kids. I’ve been grumpy lately and it’s been more than evident in my writing and most importantly, my attitude.

Jason and I had one of those conversations last night. You know, one of thooooseee. The one where you hear things you know the other has been thinking but hasn’t said. It was super fun! (NOT). But, it was necessary.

Necessary for me to realize just how STUPID I’ve been acting. Sure, it’s okay to be in a funk about things and perhaps to even be a little more whiney than usual. BUT, it’s not okay to continue to whine and be maudlin about things you are doing NOTHING to change. Yep, that was me. Complaining and whining about my lack of progress while doing nothing tangible about it.

I want to thank you guys for putting up with my sad sack face lately. I know that what I write is essentially what I am feeling, but still, I think I let my frustrations get the best of me and I started to fall down that rabbit hole of no motivation, frustration, and utter despair. I needed a good jolt to wake me up and to realize that I am totally capable of doing anything. Including getting to my goal. I got my jolt and I feel great.

So, there. I am OVER it. I am over feeling sorry for myself. I am ready to do the hard work and am ready to stop making excuses.

Time to suck it up.

Buttercup.

Thin Mint Restraining Order

2010-03-04T00:00:00.001-06:00

I hear them. I've been hearing them for a week now. The high pitched squeels, the whispers behind my back as I pass by the refrigerator, the plaintive wails in the middle of the night...

The Thin Mints are stalking me.

Our house is filled with Girl Scout cookies. Kaitlyn sold about 200 boxes and until they are delivered, they are here. In front of me. Beckoning me. Stalking me at night. I have, for the most part, ignored their taunts. I am not a robot, I've had a few here or there. I can take or leave most of them, but the Thin Mints are my kryptonite.

Sure, you can eat just one Thin Mint. One SLEEVE. I think it's genius on the part of the baker and the Girl Scouts to package these in sleeves because it makes it so easy to keep eating because you really don't know how many you had to begin with--unlike the Somoas who are packaged in their own plastic beds that make it painfully obvious how many you've had. GRRR.

So, now that the Thin Mints have invaded my freezer (duh, who doesn't keep them in the freezer!?), what do I do? Hurry up and eat them all? :) Throw them away? (I'm pretty sure that's illegal and against the Girl Scout Promise) How about savor the one or two cookies (not sleeves) that I build into my daily food intake and be done with it?

If I can do that, I will have truly come a long way. Perhaps the Thin Mints and I can coexist peacefully after all...

Lunch Hour Confessions

2010-03-03T00:00:00.001-06:00

I am a smart gal.

I've read about 1,000 diet and exercise magazines, 200 weight loss books, and perused about 2,000,000 weight loss websites, success stories, and web articles on how to lose weight. Hear about a new weight loss tip or exercise theory? I've probably read about or heard about it.

Yet, here I am. Still struggling. Still doing the same thing over and over again.

I've joined Weight Watchers more times than I care to count. I bet it's about a dozen. Probably 2. I know a lot of people join and rejoin Weight Watchers and find success. My Weight Watchers leader is one of them. Pam, the super leader, joined WW a bunch of times, lost a lot of weight (my goal amount and then some), quit, regained it all back (and then some), and then proceeded to lose it all. Now, she helps others with their weight loss struggle. I admire her. I want to be her someday when I grow up. :)

I have been doing some serious introspection lately. I don't like what I am thinking or feeling. I am feeling like I really don't have what it takes to turn this around. I am deliberately doing things to screw up my success. I am not following the diet that I said I would or wanted to. I start off bad and it gets worse. Most days. Weekends are easier for me because I am within my safe zone. I have a finite amount of choices for meals and I stick to those healthy options. At work, I am at the mercy of my hankerings. Whatever I want is basically available to me and I almost always give in. Even if it's just a different breakfast or snacks or a cheeseburger. Silly really. I mean, I work in a building with around 6500 employees and a lot of them bring their lunch and eat it without supplementing it with cafeteria crap. Why can't I? Weird.

While we're on the subject of lunch, I need to change my environment. I always, always eat lunch at my desk. In front of my computer. FAIL. I need to stop this and eat my lunch in the cafeteria. I need to take a break from work and find some time to recharge. Go for a walk, listen to a podcast, anything to break the habit of eating and sitting. Sitting and eating.

I am frustrated with all of this. I am beyond bored with writing the same post over and over again complaining and whining about why I am still struggling. Whaaa whaaaa whaaa. That's all I hear anymore. I am OVER ME. I am OVER being this Suzi. Something has to change. Being healthy is the only option. Being healthy means making some hard changes, moving away from my comfort zone, and starting over.

Time to make some changes. Time to get moving.

Technology Tuesday: Pandora Internet Radio

2010-03-02T00:00:00.006-06:00

I love music. I need music.

I need music, especially, at work. I do my best work when I am rocking out to music. When I was in college, I had my first Sony Walkman (the yellow one, remember?) I bought it my first week at Ohio State and would rock out to INXS as I walked across The Oval and waited for my class to start. When I was in the work world I had a stack of CDs at my desk, always. I always have my headphones on when I am working on something I really need to concentrate on. It's probably counter to what most people do when they need to concentrate, but whatever, it works.

I am a big fan of iTunes and used to use my iPod at work all the time. But, I didn't like keeping my work laptop muddled with all of my iTunes files. So, I quit using it. And I discovered... Pandora. Pandora is awesome. Internet Radio is fantastic. I can make a channel based on my favorite musician or my favorite type of music. It takes your selected artist (Michael Buble) and then sprinkles in similar artists or similar type songs in your channel. You can also choose from other users' channels that they've made available.

All for free. It's pretty sweet.

Pandora Internet Radio is awesome. What's awesomer? You can use Pandora on your phone. It works on a BlackBerry, iPhone, Andriod, and the Palm Pre. I use it at the gym. Most of the time, it works fine, no streaming issues, no freeze-ups. It's really cool. It definitely taxes your battery so be warned.

So, I have channels set up for Madonna, U2, Christmas, Michael Jackson, Journey, Taylor Swift, Michael Buble, and Lady Gaga.

Don't judge.

There is also a home theater option that allows you to listen to Pandora without using your computer--directly through a home theater system. Nice. I'd be interested in that, I think. It's like your own personal jukebox. How cool is that?

So, Pandora is my pick for Technology Tuesday. Enjoy!

You know, an ordinary day...

2010-02-28T22:47:00.001-06:00

Today started out as an ordinary day. Got up with the kids around 7am. Went downstairs and made them breakfast (them-waffles me-Kashi GO Lean Crunch!). Watched some TV. Went to the gym. Came home and went to Super Target. You know, the usual Sunday. We love Sundays.

While at Target, I was checking out my Twitter feed on my phone. Cuz, you know, I love me my Twitter. Anyway...an update from @ameliasprout and @mollyinminn came through about BlogHer 10 early bird registration and the deadline being today! Ack! I hadn't really thought about going to BlogHer because we are going on our DisneyWorld extravaganza in 54 DAYS! So, I mentioned this to Jason and how awesome it would be to go and it's in New York City and that's awesome and before I knew what hit me I could see that he wasn't tuning me out and OH MY GOD he was actually listening to me and was asking me if I wanted to go and how much is it and when is it and OH MY GOD I might be able to go!? and HOLY CRAP this is way too good and this was NOT how I thought this conversation was going to go and HURRY HOME so I can check out the price and book it before he comes to his senses and realizes that this is 3 WHOLE DAYS alone with the girls! In August! Over a Weekend!

Phew... it happened really fast. :)

BlogHer '10 here I come!

Mom Genes

2010-02-27T21:35:00.000-06:00

There are days that I honestly cannot believe that I am a mom. Raising these two beautiful girls will be the most important thing I do in my entire life and I am fully committed to making sure that they grow up to be happy, healthy, and intelligent women. I love being a mom. I loved it from the very beginning on September 13th, 2003 when my Kaitlyn was born. She was a beautiful baby with these amazing eyes and eyelashes. People stopped and would comment on how beautiful her eyes were--they still do. I loved being home with her in those early days and weeks when it was just the two of us. I'd just sit there and stare at her with wide-eyed amazement that she was mine. I did the same with my Chloebelle. I'd just stare and feel complete.

My family.

Now, as they get older, I catch myself watching them play together or sit together or sleep next to each other and I feel the tears start to form in my eyes. How did I get so lucky to be their mom? What did I do to deserve such an honor? I thank God every day for them for they give me purpose and a reason to do better. I WANT to do better because of them. Even in my darkest moods a single glance or goofy smile from Chloe will lift my right out of my despair.

When I am stressed out about work, I'll look up at my desk and see a note Kaitlyn wrote me or a picture she drew that will send me over the moon and put an instant smile on my face. I've been known to start chuckling in the middle of a meeting because of a picture or scribbling I've found in my notebook--evidence that my girls have been there. There is no better cure to a boring meeting than to read a note from Kaitlyn or a scribbled bug drawn by my bug, Chloe.

Some days I wonder if I will ever do them justice. I have been struggling lately with not having enough patience or not wanting to take time to just play with them or sit with them. I see it. I know I am being less than loving at times and all I want to do is crawl into bed and escape the yelling and the fighting and the crying. You know, normal sister stuff. Jason has infinite amounts of patience compared to me lately and my frustration is really taking a toll. It's not something that we haven't struggled with before but it's something I want to fix once and for all.

My girls know that they are loved. They feel loved. They know how to love and to understand that love is not always perfect or shiny and happy. You can love and be frustrated. You can love and be grumpy. I want them to know that our family is their safe haven. I want them to know that even though I am not always patient, not always in the best mood, I am always their mom and no matter what else is going on in my life, they are my priority and my joy and my heart. Being their mom is something I was made to do.

Friday Finds!: Survey Sites

2010-02-26T00:00:00.001-06:00

Do you like giving your opinion on new ideas, new products, etc? Do you like earning some extra cash? Do you already spend time in front of your computer wondering what next to look at? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, today is your lucky day. Because today is my Friday Finds post and today I am talking surveys!

I first heard about paid surveys last year after I read a blog post about these survey sites and decided to check it out. Some of the sites require you to sign up and you get inundated with emails about "special offers" and entries into contests that require you to register for a trial version of a product, etc. I made the mistake and did sign up for one of those sites and my email was indundated with hundreds of email offers over the next few days. It was a nightmare. I ended up deleting the email account and never returned to that site again. I won't even tell you the name of that site and I doubt it's even in existance today.

I did find a few sites that I trust and that's what I want to share today for my Friday Finds. I started with PineCone Research last year and I really enjoy it. You are sent an email at least once a month (depending on your profile and survey availability) and after you log in and go through a pre-screening, you are taken to the survey. Most surveys take less than 20 minutes and they pay $3.00. Not bad. I use PayPal so the money goes into my PayPal account within a few days. Enough for a cup of coffee. That's fine. :) This site doesn't always take new members so you need to check back often if they aren't taking anyone right now.

The other survey site that I use is Opinion Outpost. This survey site has been a lot of fun to work with. You complete a series of profiles and based on those, you get sent surveys to complete. If you qualify, you can earn points. 10 points=$1.00. Sometimes, you may not qualify for a survey and they will give you a chance to try another survey. You can redeem your points in $10 increments and they mail you a check almost right away. Jason LOVES this survey site. I stopped doing these surveys because you can only have one person per household registered and since I didn't have time to do these he kept his profile active. Ah, the things we do for love. Ha! You can refer others to join Opinion Outpost and if those that sign up through your link earn money, you earn money as well. So...if you sign up through THIS LINK RIGHT HERE my husband will be forever grateful. :)

So, surveys. They are a fun way to make some extra money. Don't expect to be able to quit your job and just stay home and complete surveys all day...but you can make some extra cash by just giving your opinion. How easy is that?

Do you have any fun easy ways to make a few extra bucks online? If so, share them!

Weight Journey Wednesday: 58 days (but who’s counting)

2010-02-24T13:37:00.000-06:00

We leave for DisneyWorld in 58 days. I have mixed emotions. About 84% of me is super excited to be going. What’s not to be excited about: we are staying at a cool hotel, have a full week of Snow White, Cinderella, and Mickey and Minnie stalking ahead of us, TONS of smiles, pictures, laughs, and splashes in the pool. The other 16% of me, however, would rather hide under a rock.

Some days those numbers are reversed.

You see, when we decided last May that we were going to do a big ol’ DisneyWorld extravaganza, I made a vow that I would NOT go to DisneyWorld in my current shape. I vowed to get to my goal weight and this trip would be my reward.

Ya, not so much.

Sadly, I am nowhere near my goal weight. I had hoped that having this trip on my horizon would be the impetus I had been looking for to finally lose the weight. How sad. So, here I am, 58 days away from this amazingly awesome vacation with my loving husband and two awesome girls, and I am already fretting about it. I still have a few weeks left so all hope is not lost to make some progress, but it’s too late for any “transformation”. Seriously, who thinks like this!?

It just goes to show you how ridiculous weight issues make you feel. I mean really. I love my body. It’s hard for me to focus on the fact that I had two near perfect pregnancies and two smooth deliveries resulting in two amazing daughters. I don’t have any chronic health issues and when I get sick or injured, I heal pretty darn fast. I am lucky. I have friends who have battled cancer, lost friends who’ve battled lifelong illnesses, and have friends who had miscarriages. I don’t have anything to complain about, including my squishy butt. It’s easy to focus on what you SEE—and right now I see flaws. Not the strengths.

So, as the clock ticks down the days to 0 and we fly off to our DisneyWorld adventure, I will try and remember that while my body may be squishy, it’s not broken. I won’t wallow in the superficialness of it all and focus on soaking up the smiles and laughter and wide eyes of my daughters.

Technology Tuesday: Google Docs!

2010-02-23T00:00:00.002-06:00

I’m not a PC. I’m not a Mac.

I’m a Google.

I use Google for just about everything. Case in point:

My email: Gmail (Google)
My Photos: Picasa (Google)
My Search Engine of Choice: Google.com
My Homepage: iGoogle
My Spreadsheet program: Google Docs
My Word Processing program: Google Docs

You get the picture…

I use Google for a lot of things and chances are, if Google has a version of something, I’m likely to try it right away (i.e., Wave, Buzz). My next phone will be an Android phone and not an iPhone. Although, I love the iPhone and have kicked myself for not getting one instead of my Blackberry. But, the Android phone has won me over—especially the prospects of their upcoming device, the HTC Supersonic for Sprint.
Cannot. Freaking. Wait.

Ahem…going back to Google Docs. I, like most people in my profession, lived or died by Microsoft Office at one point or another. I could format a Microsoft Word document within an inch of its life. I used to be a PowerPoint monkey and could whip out a presentation in no time (now they’ve gone and added all these stupid crap effects that EVERYONE HATES to it. Blech). And I am fiscally balanced because of my trusty Microsoft Excel spreadsheet for my checking account.

Microsoft Office did the job. It was fine. The only thing I didn’t like was that I had to be using my own computer to access my files. Or, use a disk (a what!?!?) or email it. Silly. Then… THEN I tried Google Docs. I had heard good things about it being just like Office yet you could reach it anywhere because it was stored on the server, or on the “cloud” as the techies prefer to speak.

My Google Docs Page with all of my folders!

I moved my trusty spreadsheet over to Google Docs first. Amazingly, copying it over was just about seamless. I love the fact that I can simply log in to my Google Docs account (same username/password as all of your other Google accounts) and Bam! Access to my Google Docs. I love that I can share my files with others by simply emailing them a link and then they become contributors to my spreadsheet. Love it.

And, I love love love that I can store all of my different files on my "cloud" including non-Google files like my PDFs. Brilliant! I can share folders with other people too. I can access my files from any computer, anywhere. Think how handy that could be? I use Google Docs for my personal budget spreadsheet and it's been amazingly handy to just pull it up at home or at my parents house and check my balances, etc.

So, there you go. Do you use Google Docs? How?

:)

Roses

2010-02-22T00:00:00.006-06:00

I have a friend. She and I have been friends for just about a year or so--maybe not even that long. We met at the daycare when she asked me one day "Do you work at ...?" Turns out, not only work at the same company, but we sat just across the hall from each other--and didn't even realize it. We started emailing and then we decided to start meeting at the gym on Wednesday mornings to work out.

Neither of us were fans of working out (especially at 5am) but we both needed to go and Wednesday morning was our time to meet and work out. Knowing she would be expecting me to be there made me get out of bed at 4:30am to meet her. We did that for a few months and it was great.

Then things happened and she couldn't meet me anymore on Wednesday mornings.

My friend was hurting and she was dealing with circumstances far beyond anything that I could possibly imagine. I tried to be a good friend and I listened to her, escaped down to Caribou at our office with her when things got to be too much, hugged her when she was about to collapse with despair, and tried to make her smile when she just couldn't stand another minute of it. Slowly and tenuously, she started to regain her footing. She was going to be fine.

And then, just before Christmas, she lost her job. As her friend, I was heartbroken. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs "WHY HER?". I knew our company was downsizing and I knew it would be affecting her area. But still. Why her?

She was determined to survive this. No--do better. Get better. She didn't have time to wallow or slip under the covers for a few days (I TOTALLY WOULD DO THIS). She got right on setting up meetings, interviews, resume sessions, you name it.

She was going to be fine.

Tomorrow, my friend starts a new chapter in her life. One that I know will be challenging but oh so rewarding. She won't be working with me anymore and I am sad that I won't be able to pop over to her cube to chat whenever I feel like it. But, I am proud of her because she went after it and she got it. She and her son and daughter have been through a lot these last few months, but I see nothing but sunshine ahead because their mom is an amazing woman with a heart of gold and a will of steel.

Nothing will stop her.

Here's to you, my friend.

Friday Finds!

2010-02-19T00:00:00.003-06:00

As promised, I am starting to devote particular days to a particular theme. So, today is the first installment--Friday Finds! I scour the Intertubes looking for great web sites that promise to ~~suck all your time~~ entertain you.

Today, may I direct your attention to:

bakerella.com

WARNING: Going to her site will make you gain 5 pounds. Instantly. For reals.

I just discovered Bakerella a few weeks ago and I've been obsessed ever since. She bakes. FOR. FUN. Her cake pops have set off a Blogosphere storm of copy-cats. Uh, take a look:

See? Ya, go here for the recipe and while you are there, take a look around. I dare you.

Bakerella, or Angie Dudley, is an amazing photographer and the pictures of her baked treasures are stunning in and of themselves.

Besides cake pops, she bakes...wait for it...

CUPCAKE POPS.

This really shouldn't be a site that you visit when you are trying to cut out sugar and sweets. It truly is food porn. Ugh, pass me more carrot sticks please. :)

So, here you go. My first Friday Find. I'd love to make you some cupcake pops myself, but I just don't have the strength or will power to not eat them all up! You can bet I will be making these for the girls' birthday parties. Too perfect. :)

all images from bakerella.com

Moving Forward

2010-02-17T00:00:00.001-06:00

First off, thanks for the words of encouragement on my last post. I was having a pity-party for Suzi that night and just poured it all out there. Sometimes that is what is needed--to see where you really are in order to move forward. So, now, I move forward.

Being happy and being healthy are what is most important to me. My life is pretty darn awesome right now. Even my weight issues aren’t so bad. I mean really. Getting to my goal isn’t so far out there—I mean people have lost multiple hundreds of pounds. I don’t even need to lose 100lbs. I need to suck it up and focus. So, that’s what I am going to do.

Focus Forward

I had said in my Valentine’s Day post that I was making some changes to my blog. I want to start some “themed” posts—like Technology Tuesday. I am a geek girl and I love all things technology so I’ll be working on some great technology posts. Also, for sure, I’ll continue to post about my weight loss journey but I might focus those on Wednesdays—Weight Journey Wednesday! I guess I like common letter themed titles, huh? Geez. And, I want to share some of my favorite blogs and websites with you. So, look for Friday Finds. J I have a ton of great websites to share including one that hasn’t even launched yet. My new work friend Andrea (hi!) is launching a blog soon and it’s going to be amazing. She’s the one who inspired me to be more organized. She’s cool like that. :) I’ll definitely be sending you her way once it launches. (no pressure, Andrea! Ha!)

So, there you have it. I am feeling bolstered by your encouragement and am ready to stop feeling so damn sorry for myself and to just do it. Live my life!

I am so frustrated

2010-02-14T22:37:00.000-06:00

I SUCK. I SUCK. I SUCK.

I have been SUCKING lately. Sorry, but it's true. I am not getting anywhere with my weight loss goals or my strive to change my eating habits. I am making horrible choices, purposely choose the WRONG things and not paying attention to what I am doing. I am not tracking what I am eating consistently, I am not drinking enough water, and I AM drinking too much Diet Coke. I am still working out with my Team Weight Loss program (thankfully), but I could be working out harder.

What is it that makes me NOT do what I know I am capable of doing? If I sit and think about what I WANT to accomplish, I get motivated because I want so badly to be healthier and I want to make the necessary changes to help accomplish this. Yet, when it comes time to actually doing what I NEED to do, I shrug it off and go back to my daily habits: A bagel for breakfast loaded with cream cheese (low fat! like that makes any difference), TOO MUCH DIET COKE, and not enough fresh fruit and vegetables. Too much red meat. TOO MUCH white sugar, DIET COKE. DIET COKE. DIET COKE.

So, ya. I suck right now. I see the effects of my suckiness everywhere: my back still hurts and I know it's because I am not taking care of myself. My hair seems duller than normal (my hair is usually really thick and shiny. Sigh). My attitude is LESS THAN STELLAR. I could go on....

So, YA. I am in a grumpy place right now. I am kind of regretting throwing this out there but whatever. This is me being accountable--even in the smallest of amounts. And, I know that there are those out there reading this who've been in my position and have come through on the other side.

I am selfishly hoping you'll leave some advice, some ass-kicking, shut-up and do it, stop talking and get with it, you have to go to DisneyWorld in 2 months Suzi so get your ass in gear comments. Please!? :)

Ugh.

To My Valentines

2010-02-14T07:33:00.000-06:00

Dear Valentines,

I hope today brings you lots of love, lots of hugs, and lots and lots of chocolate.

I will be spending today with my love and our crazy lovely daughters. We may go ice skating, we may go to IKEA (woot!) and we will most certainly have some chocolate, cuz its calorie free today--didn't you know!? Ha!

And, if you are looking for something yummy to make, may I suggest you head over to my new obsession--Bakerella? Caution: you will feel instantly inferior to just about everything she makes. For example, her latest post shows you how to make these adorable lollipops.

Charming!

Also! I am changing the format a bit for this blog--expect some fun changes this week. And, a celebratory super awesome giveaway--or at least I think it's super awesome. :)

Love,

Oh, snow

2010-02-09T11:24:00.000-06:00

I love snow. I love watching snow fall. I love walking in the snow when it is falling, I love watching my kids play in the snow.

I love watching Jason clear our driveway with our monster snow blower (ha!). I even love driving in it.

I am good at driving in the snow--I remember my dad teaching me control my car if it spins and how to brake on ice, etc.

I remember "bumper surfing" in our high school parking lot with my best guy buds after high school band practice (nerd!) and loved sliding down the huge hill at Mill Creek Park back home in Ohio. :)

I love coming in from the snowy outside to a warm fire, hot cocoa, and snuggling up with my girls and a good movie or books.

I love wearing my fake UGG boots (Target brand--they rock!), wearing my black puffy jacket, my scarves, and my gloves. Heavenly.

I am such a winter girl.

PS. Like the hats my girls are wearing this picture?? Go here for more info. Locally made (Apple Valley, MN) and they are awesome.

Progress is, well…relative.

2010-02-03T14:20:00.000-06:00

I’ve been part of Team Weight Loss at my gym for 4 weeks now. I have gone every day (Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday) and I love it. The group I am with is fun and energetic and inspiring. My trainer is a riot. She’s very loud and fun and actually knows her stuff. My nutritionist is very nice, knowledgeable, and very forgiving for a newbie like me. I am still struggling/resisting tracking my food intake. They give you a really nice food journal and I’ve used it but more times than I care to admit, I’ve skipped tracking and had to go back and fill in the blanks. Oops. Tracking is a huge thing for me. I SUCK at it. This is not new. Counting calories is hard to because I am used to counting points. So, focusing on the calorie content and the Diabetic Exchange Units (that’s what this program recommends we follow) is even harder for me to grasp. But, I am trying. In my own way I guess.

Physically, I feel modestly better. My clothes do feel a bit looser. My goal for this session was not really focused on how much weight I can lose (although that’s there too), but to develop a lasting habit of going to the gym at least 3 days a week. People, that is huge for me. If I can sustain this workout for 3 days a week, every week, that’s progress. No more skipping the gym, no more sitting in the car willing myself to get out of the car, no more avoiding it. This is my goal for the first 12 week session. I thought I might continue this again after the 12 week session ends in April. We’ll see. It’s expensive and it has been very hard to be away from home 3 nights a week. But, I keep trying to tell myself that I would still need to go to the gym at night during the week. So, really, being gone from 530-730 is NOT that bad. I am home in time to put Chloe to bed and to read/hang out with Kaitlyn before she goes to bed. So, this is fine.

Don’t you hate the Mommy Guilt that seems to accompany just about every decision you make? Nice. Thanks for that, society.

So, ya, I am making progress, but perhaps not the conventional weight-loss progress that I thought I’d see. Maybe this habit-forming progress means more anyway? I say yes.

Giveaway Reminder! Don’t forget to enter my giveaways: Yo Gabba Gabba, Chocolate Cheerios, and Progresso Soup. Fun!

I should be in bed...

2010-01-28T22:23:00.000-06:00

I should be in bed. I should be asleep. I should be dreaming of cupcakes and new cell phones. Yet, here I am. I am sitting on my couch working on my blog, playing on Facebook and Twitter watching reruns of Roseanne. I keep staying up late and going to bed late and wake up early for work. Ugh. Not a cycle I should be repeating night after night.

I am happy tomorrow is Friday. We are going to the Healthy Living Expo on Saturday at the Minneapolis Convention Center. I was invited to taste test some new Yoplait yogurts and check out the other vendors and let y'all know what I think, so look for that post next week on my Reviews and Giveaways Blog.

Speaking of Giveaways...

You might want to go check out my Yo Gabba Gabba tickets giveaway. Just sayin...

Good Night.

finding my center

2010-01-24T22:28:00.000-06:00

I admit it. I let stress get to me. Easily. I let the little annoyances that should stay little annoyances become enormous dust ups in my life. When the girls whine about something in the back of the car, I don't try and shrug it off, I freak out, turn red and scream "QUIET!" Same thing with Jason. I am the master at turning an innocent statement he makes and twist it into the world's worst attack on me or my parenting or my food choices or the color of my socks. Seriously, it's stupid. At work, I deal with tons of different personalities, work ambitions, and really, generations. It's hard, but I love my job. I love my company. Yet, I make myself stressed out over stupid issues. I can't get past the petty arguments, the gossiping, and the lack of teamwork that happens from time to time and focus on the work that we do and the career that I want.

I am starting to feel marginally better from the 2 weeks of Team Weight Loss training. I feel more energetic and I like going. I think it's helping me realize how out of balance my life has been. I am either completely stressed out and a raging biotch or I am a complete slug on the couch. There hasn't been a happy medium.

I want that happy medium. I have to find more time to just focus and find my center. Whether it be a few minutes in the morning, take a walking break during the day, or doing Yoga on the Wii Fit at night---something needs to happen. It has to be something that I can fit into the schedule I have now, I don't want to add more time away from home. Maybe we'll do family yoga sessions? :) I think teaching the girls how to find calm and learn yoga is a good thing. Kaitlyn has a special after-school yoga class starting in a few weeks (we love our school district!) and I really think she'll love it.

What do you do to calm down? Do you use your Wii Fit to do yoga?

catching up

2010-01-22T15:55:00.003-06:00

Photo credit: Bakerella

I took a much needed vacation day today. I was supposed to be off on Monday for Martin Luther King Jr. Day but I had too much work to do so I went in. So, I had an extra 8 hours of freedom just lingering around in my head taunting me to take the time off. So I did. Wee!!!!

I spent most of the day doing the laundry, cleaning up, and updating my blog. Like it? I wanted to remove some of the stuff that I'd been "collecting" lately and tried to make it look cleaner. I am still tinkering but I like it much better already.

So...Friday. Loving the Friday. Because I am part of the Team Weight Loss program at my gym, I am gone Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights until 7ish and that's hard on J and the girls. Being gone 3 nights a week is not ideal but I need to devote some real time to getting fit and if I don't go to the gym at night, I won't get there and DisneyWorld is coming up just in a few months.

So, tonight we will relax, play some Wii bowling (Chloe's kicking everyone's butt lately!) and perhaps watch a movie after the kiddos go to bed. I rented Public Enemies so we'll see if it's any good.

Hey, so have you checked out my Giveaways and Product Reviews site lately? I have a new post about the new lower sugar General Mills cereals and a link to a $1 coupon!

AND, here's a hint to a giveaway that's coming soon...

Have a great weekend!

About Last Night...Minnesota Blogger Volunteer Event

2010-01-20T13:49:00.003-06:00

Last night was cool. Last night was fun. Last night was amazing.

All the cool bloggers... (I'm in the middle in purple-post hair net!)

About 40 of the coolest bloggers in Minnesota gathered in Eagan to meet, network, share stories, take pictures, swap business cards, and to partake in the bloggy goodness that was the Minnesota Blogger Volunteer Event. I had a great time meeting bloggers that I’ve been following forever like Kim from I Want a Minivan, or Darcie from Gust Gab, Kellyn from the Fritz Facts—those ladies were awesome. I finally got to meet Missy the Marketing Mama, who organized this amazing event. I felt like I’ve known here for forever so it was really great to finally meet her. Same with Jen from Prior Fat Girl. I was a little star struck with her because I ADORE her—her amazing weight loss story really inspires me. Anyway, every.single.person that I met last night was great.

I would say that over half the bloggers there wore a scarf of some fashion... interesting. :)

All genuine. All nice. All AWESOME.

And hey thanks! Annie's Homegrown - Natural and Organic Foods, and Red Gold Tomatoes for the great swag.

So, after we gathered and networked and had a great time, we headed over to Feed My Starving Children. WOW. WOW. WOW.

Here’s a little recap from their website:

Feed My Starving Children is a non-profit Christian organization committed to feeding God’s starving children hungry in body and spirit. The approach is simple: children and adults hand-pack meals formulated specially for starving children, and we ship the meals to more than 60 countries around the world.

We all met over at FMSC and heard a little intro about what this organization does and what we would be doing which was making food packs. There were several stations where each person was in charge of one part of the job. I ended up at a table putting labels on the bags with some of my bloggy friends including Kate-Madonna from Girl Meets Geek (LOVE HER!). We had fun and accomplished a lot.

Hairnets are cool.

In the hour we were there, we made:

•    Almost 14,000 meals.
•    Filled 64 boxes.
•    Will feed 38 kids for a year.
•    And our meals will be going to Haiti.

So, there you have it. I had a great time, met amazing people, and most importantly, did a good thing.

It was wonderful.

P.S. Why no pictures? Cuz I forgot my camera! I’ll try and link up some pictures from Darcie and Missy once I get their OK… Trust me, you will want to see all of us in our hairnets. SEXY.

Heidi Montag is Fake and I Don't Mean Her Music

2010-01-13T22:33:00.002-06:00

So, did you see the new issue of People Magazine with Heidi Montag on the cover? No? Well, here you go:

Ummm, ya. So apparently Heidi went into hiding to recover from 10 (yes, 10) different plastic surgery procedures. She had work done on her eyes, chin, cheeks, butt, boobs, etc. She is 23 years old.

23 years old.

I am not surprised that she had plastic surgery because she had a breast augmentation last year. It's the fact that she went CRAZY with plastic surgery and had all of these procedures at once. And that a doctor willingly agreed to perform these procedures. On a 23 year old girl.

Why do I care? Well, I only care a little bit. I care about the fact that girls my daughter's age are looking and reading about Heidi and her latest adventures. I care that teenage girls are reading about Heidi and connect with her and want to (gulp) be just like her. I actually care about Heidi herself. She's 23 years old, married to a total loser, and has bought into this Hollywood ideal that fake is better than authenticity. Sad.

It's hard enough to be a young girl in today's society. Having stories like Heidi's permiate our airwaves and printed materials do only bad things to your self esteem. Surprisingly, I am not anti-plastic surgery. I would get nipped and tucked and boobed just like the rest of them if I could. But, I am not 23. I am 37.

I don't have any interest in becoming plastic. Being authentic is what makes the most beautiful you. Sure hope Heidi Montag and the girls that follow her figure that out sooner than later.

Oh! My Aching Back...

2010-01-11T09:53:00.006-06:00

So, about a week ago I was "de-Christmasing" our house and wanted to move the furniture around in our front room. Jason and I moved some furniture and that's when it happened... a pulled muscle in my back. At first I didn't notice it but as the night went on my back started to ache and by bedtime I couldn't move without a lot of pain. It took a week for my back to stop aching in the morning. THEN on Sunday I had a muscle spasm and could barely walk or sit. It was AWFUL. I bought some generic Icy Hot and that helped a lot and took ibuprofin. So, today I am on my way to my doctor and will a) hopefully find out it was just a stupid pulled muscle and not something worse and b) get powerful muscle relaxers. :) I am also seeing a Chiropractor later today too. Jason thinks it's a good idea to see a chiropractor but I am still on the fence. I'll go see what they say but I am hoping it'll heal itself with time and stretching and exercising.

Speaking of exercising...

I made some changes last week that I am SUPER excited about. I signed up for a 12 week group personal training session, called T.E.A.M. Weight Loss. My gym, LifeTime Fitness, is an amazing gym and they offer these sessions all the time and I have been too chicken to sign up. Well, fate intervened! Last Thursday, Kaitlyn and I went to the gym (she loves their kids center) and as I walked upstairs I saw the signs for TWL and it turns out there was a demo session that night. So... I signed up. I knew instantly that this is what I was supposed to be doing. It will be a grueling 3 day a week session for 12 weeks and its costing me a bundle but dammit, I am worth it and I need to do this. So, where does this leave Weight Watchers? Well, I quit my Monthly Pass membership. With TWL, I get access to a nutritionist once a week and they review my food diary every week (see--no getting out of tracking!). So, that starts tonight. I think that will help my back, too. Anyone else have back trouble? What do you do to help it?

Back on track...the old fashioned way

2010-01-05T21:52:00.000-06:00

So, I started back at Weight Watchers tonight. I took a few months off from Weight Watchers. I had hit the wall back in October and was basically paying WW to tell me I suck. So, the holidays came and went and now it's time to get back to reality. I thought long and hard before re-upping my WW membership. I am not a big fan of paying for something that I should be able to do for free. But, for right now, I need their help. I need the weekly weigh-ins, the meetings, the corny phrases that I learned at WW meetings ("nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" is a personal fave), and my lovely WW super leader Pam. I also miss my WW buddies at my meeting. We have a pretty steady email group that has become a lifeline for us during the week. I kept in touch with them during the time I was away, but its good to get back to seeing them every week.

So, I went back tonight and had a great meeting. It was great to see everyone and be back in the same uncomfortable green chair. Tonight we talked about tracking. I have a love/hate relationship with tracking. When I am into it, I can track with the best of them. When I am barely hanging on, I would rather eat rats than write anything down. I always know that tracking is important. I always know that tracking what I eat will help. I will track starting tomorrow morning. I have a new tracking notebook from WW that I will use. I like their online tracking tool and can access it on my Blackberry, but I get more satisfaction and am more connected to it when I write it down on paper. So, it's old school Suzi for me.

Tomorrow starts the new week. Here's to getting back on track... :)