Recently we got new windows put in the majority of our house. 

Rewind.

We moved in a whirlwind of a time – I was eight and half months pregnant, the big kid had just transferred schools, the baby shower was the weekend after we moved, and the old house needed to prepped for rental – it was Nucking Futs, let me tell you!

This was our life!!!

In the midst of trying to get somewhat settled and prepared for what the stork would soon deliver, a salesperson going door to door came with an offer for a free window consultation with additional perks for scheduling immediately, so we did.

At the time it was just too much to take on the thought of getting new windows, still trying to get settled, and geting the nursery together; so we opted to wait.

We waited a few months and after the home show made its way through Cleveland we got another estimate, from another company.  The guy had us sold, everything seemed great and we couldn’t find the previous estimate for comparison so we signed on the dotted line.

A week before we were scheduled for install the estimate from company number one popped up and it was a whopping THREE GRAND less.  But we were too far in to cancel.  We hat to bite it.

My hubby was HEATED , like I could have cooked bbq dinner on him he was so hot!  He felt it was his fault for making allowing me to make an impulse decision, and we should have waited, found the first estimate, and compare or whatnot.  But we didn’t, and essentially now we were out 3000 dollars!!!

Because as I mentioned previously, we have order, and there are no decisions that are made without him at least knowing about them, which ultimately makes him feel responsible.

I never once said a thing, (because I knew it was also my fault).  He knew I felt the same, so I didn’t have to say it.  He knew we had other things I would have loved to have gotten accomplished around here, so I didn’t need to remind him.  We just proceeded forth and came with the action plan for the rest of our home projects.  Lesson learned!

I say this to say that there will be times of oversight, loss, making decisions that if you had the chance to do them over again you would do it differently; but you learn from it all. 

I know my role and my place; I am the passenger on this here ride.  There is no steering wheel in front of me, so therefor if we are headed for the ditch all I can do is brace as best I can and go for the ride.  Then get out and dust us off when it’s all over and keep it moving.

Live together, Learn together – it’s all you really can do!  So don’t be afraid to every once in a while go in a ditch!

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This past weekend was Father’s Day and I was totally excited to celebrate that not only was it Father’s Day but it was my hubby’s first real father’s day; even though he has been a father to my daughter for many years, this was his first Father’s day with his biological child.  One he didn’t have to spilt the day with someone else or accommodate someone else’s wishes.

But some women (wives) feel that Father’s Day is to celebrate their daddies and not their husbands, the fathers of their children. 

As for me?

I appreciate all that my husband is, not only for me, but our children as well.  They are too young to really go hard for him, but I want them to see me do it so they learn how it is done. 

He deserves Every.Single.Bit of it…

While I don’t do much (cause he doesn’t require much), I make sure he knows that he is the BUSINESS and we appreciate him for it.

Father’s Day yesterday consisted of Church, and home with my parents and we cooked a mini feast. There was chicken, brats, turkey burgers, tilapia, catfish, baked beans, potato salad (the homemade stuff), corn on the cob, zucchini and squash and salad.

He and daddy ate GOOD!

He was surprised with a new leaf blower that he really wanted so all in all he had a great day.

All topped off with a pineapple upside down cake!! (Thanks mom)

Maybe it’s just that I have a good man, but there is none of that “he ain’t my daddy” stuff happening over here…

I’m just saying!

Later,

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I am thinking I may take a walk on the wild side and add a splash of color to my bottom.

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While for many it is just a cute saying or décor accent, for hubby and I, it is a part of our daily reality.  The only time that we don’t kiss goodnight is when we are away from each other; which has only been a handful of times in our entire time together.

To piggy back off that, there is never a time that we go to sleep without first telling each other that we love each other.  In the rare occasion we fall asleep watching TV or something, it’s funny cause we will say it in the middle of the night in one of our “rollover and fluff the pillow” moments.

We don’t take this time we have here together for granted.  We are not guaranteed to see the next morning’s sunrise, or snowfall if you are in Cleveland…

Do you make sure that you express your love daily to your spouse?

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So this post is inspired by my need to now purge and restore my shoe collection….

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When I first went natural, I thought that it would be easier and less time consuming to maintain.  I just knew I wouldn’t have to think about my hair as much and plan so much.

Boy was I wrong…

I have found the opposite to be true. 

Being natural can be more work, and contingent on your stage and length, a great deal more work.   Depending on your routine and preferences – do you co wash or shampoo? deep condition every wash? Pre-poo?

All of this can turn a simple wash into a whole day process.  Our hair is different from most in that it requires moisture and nutrients that we have to feed it to keep it healthy.  And as seasons change, for many of us, our routines will as well.

Recently I have been seeing people who wear their hair in its natural state, but it looks like it has not had any maintenance {love} at all.

This is not to say that people should have their hair professionally done or styled and pinned, but it should look like you gave it a little TLC; a good condition, ends clipped, some cream and/or oil applied to it – just general maintenance type things.

I am a BC’er.  I chopped all my hair off down to my roots and started fresh.  So in the beginning, maintenance was BEA-U-TI-FUL!  I literally just woke up, brushed and left.  I would wash whenever I wanted and that was the extent of it.

All my hair – Gone!

Faded!

As it grew a bit, I started co-washing but it still was pretty simple because my TWA had a defined curl.

TWA!

I got to an “in-between” length that was hard to maintain (especially in the middle of being preggo).  At that time I kept my hair out the way with protective styling and co-washes with deep conditioning in between.

It was getting hot and my belly was growing…no time for craziness!

My protective style for the entire summer last summer!

Now, as I wait for this weather to really break I am taking it one day at a time. My most recent styles consist of twists for a few days, and then pulled out of the twists into a twist out that turns into a slightly defined fro; my two braids going to the back; and pulled up into my marley bun.

Recently I did my first wash and go when the weather tricked me into thinking we were moving into warmer weather.

My wash and go and new color!

My wash nonroutine has become a bit much, at least to me who was use to a wash and style in an hour and a half on my relaxed hair.  At minimum it takes me about 2.5 hours; in large part because I don’t put heat in my hair.  I dry my hair in plats if I am going to get it styled.  Doing the plats can take a bit of time because of the length.

I don’t know that I will ever be a “routine” natural hair chica; just because my life doesn’t really allow for a routine right now.  But I do know that I have to be forward thinking about my hair plans, especially when special events and things are coming up.

I am very intentional to have my hair professionally deep conditioned and ends clipped every three months (or as the seasons change).  That is about as routine as it gets for me.

I say all this to say that being natural doesn’t mean that you wake up shake your head and go about your day with the declaration of being “happy to be nappy”.  It takes time, patience, a whole lot of little work and some love. 

Yea your hair needs love too!

You may also like:

• My Hair Just Does not grow!!! Retaining length Pt 2 – Could it be due to heat?
• My Natural Hair Nightmare

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Me and hubby have been married for 2 years, together for 6 and friends for somewhere around 18.  Even still, we don’t take the small things for granted.

Til this day, when we walk into an establishment my hubby still opens and holds the door for me, and like a girl smitten with a new date I say “thank you”.  Every time it happens it makes me remember just why I love him.

I can’t tell you the last time I have been to a gas pump.  I am actually pretty guilty of not even knowing how much gas I have cause I don’t even look down most times.   I have no conception of what is considered high or low for gas these days.  This is because some day’s hubby will leave the house and just take my car to the station.  In his mind he always has a plan for when he will do it, as I have come to learn, but I will happen to look down and just see that I am on full.

Hubbs keeps me on full… #lovehim via myinnerb

I love him for that!

He has done these things since we dated, but I am always very intentional to thank him for them.  These are things he does not have to do but I know that he does them because he loves and honors me and this is one of his many ways of showing it.  I never want him to think I expect it or don’t appreciate it.

He has even shared with me that the fact that I am thankful and expressive about it, helps him to be able to keep doing those things without feeling being taken for granted.  Ladies, I cant speak for all men, but its worth a try, a little thank you can go a LOOOOOONG way!

When is the last time you thanked your spouse for the small things?  Do you feel that “thank you” goes a long way?

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With that being said I love an A-line dress that kinda falls to my curves and accentuates my shape.  These are a couple “looks I love”.

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But I resented the fact that my evenings were always consistent of pickups, cooking, homework and structure – all work and no play.

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A lot of women (and not just a general statement, cause I have talked to many) have a problem with this and the whole idea of “submission”; but that’s another topic for another day.

But in my home and my relationship we have order, and the order is this:

Christ→ Hubby→ Me→ the kids

One of my favorite scriptures as it relates to marriage is Ephesians 5:21-29

21 Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ.  22 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body. 24And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to Christ.  25 Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26He did this to dedicate the church to God by his word, after making it clean by washing it in water, 27in order to present the church to himself in all its beauty—pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection. 28Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. 29 None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church

There is really nothing more to say.

When you believe this you can act in it pretty effortlessly.

I thought of this post the other day as I was in my car and I went to adjust my seat.  My car has auto settings so that when either key is used it is automatically adjusted to the settings for key 1 or key 2.  I chuckled to myself cause my hubby has key 1 although it is my car and I am the primary driver of it.  His button on the setting is number 1.  And it just reminded me of this principle – he is number one – in the flesh at least.

And that is not to be confused with the thought that he is more important in this relationship, because that is not the case.  But he is the head of this here family and household and that makes him number one; He takes a number two seat in the spiritual, to Christ.

It’s just the order of things around here.

Thoughts? Do you as women have a hard time with operating in order?  Men do you understand your responsibility in that order?

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