Pinoy Upside Down Under

Fair dinkum Aussie

2011-07-21T15:47:00.003+10:00

It's been too long since my last blog. I have no excuse. Just got plain lazy. I allow myself that from time to time. Part of being Australian. No, not the lazy bit--altho one can easily mistake the "laidbackness" for such, particularly if one is so used to the "rushiness" of the big cities---but the allowing myself bit. No worries, no one's pressuring me. Only me. I've learned to allow myself certain luxuries. My choice, my responsibility. Yes, Aussies generally seem to have a huge respect for individual choices and seldom get in the way of them. I was so impressed when a friend told me how she and her family suffered her sister’s choice of boyfriend for years. They progressed to getting engaged but eventually broke off much to the family’s relief. I asked why the family didn’t say anything at the start. Aghast, she said they never interfere with each other’s choices. They knew she would come to her senses. But she had to come to it in her own time and her own way. I was dumbfounded. Lucky the sister didn’t marry the guy. What if she did? what then? I thought to myself. Well, she didn’t and all’s well. No worries.

Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras reminiscent
of UP Lantern Parade 1000-fold

Personal choices. Sydney is now known world-wide for its annual Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras. Every year the numbers get bigger which indicates the increase in "outness" from the gays at the same time increase in acceptance from the general pubic. Live and let live, seems to be the typical attitude. Learning through experience rather than through interference. Very dissimilar to the culture I grew up in. Strong "guidance" from parents and other well-meaning loved ones from cradle to grave was the norm. There are pluses and minuses from either approach. For me, now that I've experienced both, I am thankful that I have. And I am very thankful that I am where I am and that my son has the same opportunities and more.

Let go Ma.

I do have to watch myself as I still tend to poke my bib into his affairs. Thank heavens my husband reins me back in. Poor Miguel, every time I see him, which is way too seldom. I tend to switch to my "To do" mode. I rattle off things not done yet and start noticing things not quite right with his appearance (e.g. hair too long, button missing, shoes grubby, etc)---mothering is the word---which he tells me annoys him to death---instead of lighting up and just being happy for the visit and letting him be. No wonder the boy does not look forward to the visits, infrequent they already are. Duh. He's doing really well on his own and I really have nothing to worry about. I guess it's part of my empty-nesting angst at not being needed anymore. Not sure if time will heal this wound. I'll learn to let go eventually. God help me. (Note: My son has read this and insists I print a retraction---he does look forward to the visits and he's never felt restricted by me---yey!! Must just be my perception :})

Yes! I have indeed just recently been approved for Australian citizenship. Had to pass a 20-question test after submitting yet another wave of documentation. I got into the process not for any profound reason, not initially at least, but more because I could. The opportunity presented itself. It was there for the taking. Why not? I really didn't think too much of it. Until I read over the national anthem."...Beneath our radiant Southern Cross we'll toil with hearts and hands....For those who've come across the seas (that's me!) we've boundless plains to share. With courage let us all combine to advance Australia fair..." Then the pledge "From this time forward, under God (optional), I pledge my loyalty to Australia and its people, whose democratic beliefs I share, whose rights and liberties I respect, and whose laws I will uphold and obey." Coming from a Catholic country I was struck by the choice soon-to-be citizens are given to pledge loyalty with or without God. After all, some may worship other supreme beings or may not even worship any but themselves. That's allowed and that's ok too. Respect for individual choices, hence differences, is sacred. How good is that? I love the classlessness of the Australian society. It's ideal. Not that you don't see a semblance of social classification anywhere (remember the ferals) but you can meet anyone eye to eye and expect respect. Equality is assumed if not assured. And if you don't give it you can be liable for discrimination. Some ethnic and religious groups take advantage of this. It's become quite fashionable to scream "racial slur" over the smallest slight. Thin-skinned, I'd say. Yes, I agree slinging racial slurs, or religious for that matter, is totally un-Australian (this country was after all founded on immigrants and continue to depend on immigrants for population growth). But so is being thin-skinned!! Get over it. It's become so extreme that even 11-year-old kids are being sued for hurling "racial slurs" at a classmate. Whatever happened to plain old-fashioned bullying? If anyone needs reproving, it's the parents but that's another story.

Ray Hadley every morning

Prove them wrong by your actions I'd say. Not sure if staying quiet when slighted is an Aussie trait though because they do speak their minds. Talk shows must be the most popular information and entertainment genre in this country. Every raging issue is discussed. Audience participation is critical. I've taken to listening to one every morning. I find it's the best way to get the real news and the pulse of the people. Everyone has a say. Every view is welcome. No one is spared from scrutiny. The current Prime Minister is so unpopular lately because of an unrelenting series of gaffs---cattle export ban, boat people, and now the unpopular carbon tax. I predict a sea change in politics soon. Democracy in action. Not too different from the Philippines which boasts of a free press and the might of people power. The press is so free in fact that journalists have become endangered.

army guy charged to guide and guard us

Private armies still abound I'm afraid, wielding their own laws. My husband and I came face-to-face with one some years back whilst visiting my sister in Bicol. Mayon volcano was spewing lava at the time and adventurous bushman that he is, Stan wanted to trek up the volcano. Villagers were already being evacuated and entry up the volcano was restricted (but of course!). My intrepid brother-in-law, not wanting to disappoint his new relation, called in some favours and the mayor himself sent his private army to escort us on our "tour". Ahh the privileges of class.

Warning sign @ foot of Mayon

We go with the flow. Great to be on the receiving end. When in Rome......So what does getting an Australian citizenship mean to me? It means that I've found a good fit in this world. I will perhaps still be a square peg in a round hole but I feel that the fit is more comfortable here. Not so much materially but in the general approach to life. Perhaps the years have softened me as well. I'm sure its' significance will dawn on me more once I've officially made that pledge. I get to enjoy two countries rights and privileges which is a real bonus. Have my cake and eat it two (forgive the pun, couldn't help myself). Now to practice my swearing and I reckon I'll be a fair dinkum Aussie. Bloody oath.

Talk about the weather

2011-02-19T17:45:00.000+11:00

drought-stricken; oranges left to rot

I have never thought about the weather so much as when I moved to Australia. Now I even talk about it. A lot. And no, it is not as mundane a topic as it would be back home where the weather is predictable and more or less stable all year long. Back home, you know when the wet months are and when they stop. Even during the wet months, you can expect the rains to start at late afternoon and end at sunrise. Over here in Victoria, particularly Mildura, weather is not as predictable and is a major topic of discussion. Understandable because it's a largely agricultural area. Fortunes are made or lost at a drastic shift of the mercury. Ten years we had the drought. Supply of water was restricted everywhere. The farmers really suffered, with the smaller ones having to sell out for a sum much less than what they started with. Water being so precious, it is treated as a commodity. Unbundled with the land, it renders waterless land worthless. You can understand why depression can get rife in these parts. We had to stop watering our lawns for a spell until they realised our trees were dying. They then allowed us to keep the trees alive, watering them only at certain days and only for a few hours.

red earth spraying in the bush

Never mind washing our cars. I used to fret if I had to drive around Manila in an unwashed car. Now I wash my car rarely. Heck, dirty mud-caked 4WDs are in vogue in the big cities, some even put mud spray to make their 4WDs look like they've seen some offroad action. Ha! You gotta love the macho appeal the country presents to city slickers. No one minds. Mud, bird poop, even the remains of some wildlife caught while driving--usually a ubiquitous magpie. All come with the package of country living.

backyard billabong back to life

The rains unexpectedly came late last year and continued intermittently till recently. Bucketfulls. Wild weather indeed. So much so that the once dried up billabong in our backyard has come back to life again. Lovely. It's now home to countless specie of beautiful birds, frogs, snakes (I'm sure), and the very annoying mozzies! Arrgh. I've never felt so many attacking me at all times of the day, not just at dusk. Nor have I ever seen so many types of mosquito repellants: citronella candles, torches, sprays, creams, electric zappers, tried them all but guess what I found to be the most effective---the humble mosquito coil, the katol. Despite all the fancy, new-fangled inventions, it's back to the basics. I must try the citronella scented katol. I'm sure it's more pleasant than the orig.

we used a boat to access our property!

We've been quite fortunate that that's the extent of the damage the heavy rains wrought us. Elsewhere in Victoria, whole towns have been inundated with the avalanche of water from the sky. To add to the distress, the mighty Murray threatened to overflow its banks. But that's not half the trouble folks from northern Queensland had to bear. Monster cyclone Yasi wrought so much damage and mayhem the country's ever seen. Much like super typhoon Ondoy in the Philippines but with a much larger area of destruction and a much smaller population affected. With water inundating the north and south, bit ironic that bush fires would erupt in the west! But through all this wild weather, order was quickly restored.

Yasi flattened entire towns

Adversity brings out the true character of a people. This time of natural calamity---any time, come to think of it---certainly brought out the best in the Aussies. I marvelled at the speed in which armies of trained and untrained volunteers came from everywhere to lend a helping hand. The community spirit was awe-inspiring. Much like our bayanihan spirit. This one's bayanihan to the nth degree. Sandbagging, cleaning, building, cooking, whatever was needed. Not to mention the donations. Millions were raised virtually overnight. The outpouring of support restores one's faith in humankind. In this land of plenty, the plentiful also give plentifully. How wonderful. Yes, I feel so fortunate to be living here. God's lucky country indeed.

You gotta love the Aussie sense of humour too. On the eve of the onslaught of the worst disaster in Australian living memory, towns that didn't have to evacuate but were still under threat were making the most of the wait by having a "Kiss my Yasi" barbie. Surrounded by mates, quaffing their favourite ale what could be better? Ha! Acceptance mixed with irreverence. Again, much like Pinoy humour but without the self-deprecation. The changes in weather patterns are quite extreme in the southern hemisphere I guess particularly this time due to the La Nina effect. I hear later this year, La Nina will switch to El Nino. Come what may, I am confident I am in the best hands. Yes, I reckon I will take up the offer of citizenship this year (don't worry, it's dual---not relinquishing my Filipinohood, nevah!). I will be proud to be one of them. Bloody oath.

Friendly Folks

2010-12-05T15:40:00.001+11:00

smiles come easily to the lovely girls of Nurture Spa

Coming from the Philippines where the people are known to be friendly, I was pleased to move to Australia where the folks here are undoubtedly friendlier. Where the Pinoy seems to wear a permanent smile yet is careful not to make eye contact with strangers much less venture a "Hello" (too bold!), the Aussie is not shy to look you straight in the eye, smile purposely and bid you a warm, non-threatening "G'day, howya goin'?" (g'day is indeed still commonly used in the country, maybe less in the city). It is courteous to give a quick reply "Good, thanks" etc. but you are not expected to carry on a conversation unless you know each other, in which case, it is but polite to stop and chat briefly. It is not uncommon therefore to see folks exchanging pleasantries in the middle of a footpath or hold people up at the supermarket check-out. People behind them usually don't mind the small wait. Woe unto those who show rude behaviour. S/he'll be tagged "feral" (see "Strine II"). In a small town where the six degrees of separation I swear is halved (see "First Step in Aus"), word will spread fast.

my new Aussie mates

Equality seems to be a given among folks here no matter the circumstance. There don't seem to be any rigid rules in choosing whom to socialise with. I love that my husband's family and circle of friends include people from differing walks of life. There's a lawyer, an engineer, a wheeler-dealer, an electrician, a painter, a school principal, a labourer, a builder, a teacher, a truck driver, a farmer, a shopowner, a cleaner, a reptile handler all breaking bread at the same table. No one thinking of himself more highly than the others, at least not in public (he'll be lynched!). The camaraderie is genuine. Income and education, I find, do not define their relationships. How refreshing.

The cultural difference is obvious yet the significance is quite profound. Pinoys have a social ranking that is still deeply ingrained and even in this modern day and age is still very much observed. This prevents the poor from socialising with the rich and vice versa. Must have started from that darn Spanish era which conditioned the once-proud indigenous Pinoys to believing that they were second-class citizens, indios, therefore unequal to the ilustrados, the white people, and may not raise their eyes to the 'superior' Spanish (swine). Racism in the 1800s was rife and destructive. Sure damaged our national psyche no end. The Pinoy "shyness" must have a psychological history. Also very Asian I reckon. I am not a historian (flunked history in high school), just an keen observer of human behaviour.

Could it be that the lack of eye contact indicates perhaps the perception of being less than equal? I have observed that to be the case with domestics, and truly the employers exacerbate it. But it could also be a deep sense of humility---not assuming oneself to be equal. I like this idea better. Although, I am not of this mould (I'm more the equal mould), I do appreciate this pinoy trait. Entire movies have been produced dedicated to this theme. Even the great boxer Manny Pacquiao, who has recently been elevated to a global cult hero (and rightly so), calls himself not a congressman but a public servant. You gotta love that humility.
Back to the friendliness of the folks here.....one of the first things I learned to do when learning to drive on the other side of the road was to greet the drivers of oncoming cars. Just a simple wave or even just raising the index finger (no, not the middle finger, unless you're looking for trouble) to acknowledge the other driver (with fleeting eye contact), I thought was a rather nice custom. I discovered that the farther you get from the country, meaning the closer to the city, the less drivers wave at each other. Case of courtesy becoming less common. Everywhere you go though, people will start a conversation with you and I have learned to respond in like cheerful manner. Nice that Aussies don't have the same historical baggage we Pinoys carry. Everyone starts on an equal footing. Everyone has the same opportunity to have a say. There are, however, a certain group of folks that carry on about being disadvantaged despite the many advantages given to them on a silver platter. THAT I cannot comprehend. In time perhaps........

Where are all the people?

2010-10-31T21:41:00.007+11:00

watch out for tumbleweeds when windy

The first question I asked Stan upon landing in Mildura---where are all the people? (see "First Step in Aus"). The first big culture shock was discovering how few there really were. To put this in context, Australia has a population of 22 million scattered over 7.68 million sqkm for a population density of only 2.9 per sqkm, if you include all the uninhabitable land (70%). Now Mildura has a population of 60,000 spread out over 48,000 sqkm which makes for a population density of a lonely 1.2 or less than two people for every square kilometer. No wonder people say the Mallee (the general area which Mildura belongs to) is a good place for those who don't want to be found. Images of tumbleweeds rolling down seemingly deserted dusty country roads accompanied by the opening notes of some western movie flashing through my mind only to realise I'm not imagining it, I am actually in it.

elbow-to-elbow heaving Manila population

Boggles the Pinoy mind doesn't it. Sure boggled mine. Coming from Manila with 12 million people crammed into only 638 sqkm that's a staggering 18,800 people elbow-to-elbow in each sqkm!! The entire Philippines registers at 307 per sqkm (a suffocating 92M people sharing 300,000 sqkm). I imagine THAT's mind-boggling to the Aussies. We have the dubious honour of ranking 43rd most densely populated country in the world. Australia ranks near bottom at 233rd (bottom was Greenland @ .03; does that include the penguins?) The US ranks 178th with 31.6---chances of being found if lost = quite high.

Now why am I laboring over this? Aside for my fascination for stats and numbers (getting nerdy in my old age) I have since figured that population is key to understanding why things are the way they are, why systems work the way they do and why they don't, why possibilities exist or don't exist, why opportunities abound or don't abound. The basic law of supply and demand has influenced my pragmatic world view; my background in economics has something to do with it perhaps. A wise reader commented in my Philstar article last week about the overabundance of people in the Phils. accounting for the luxury of cheap labor (echoed my observation that where there are so many lives life can be cheap; see "Driving on the Wrong Side").

kids sports @ Saturdays

The opposite can be said of Au. With so few lives, each life gets a fair shot at the many available resources. This is clearly evident in sport (singular is how they say it, not plural). Australia is well-known for its growing and continuing domination in the world of sports. This, of course is not by accident, it is by design. It starts with school-age children who are given every opportunity to play whatever sport they want; not just one but all available (football, netball, tennis, cricket, soccer, rugby, basketball, archery, rowing, athletics, gymnastics, track & field, swimming, etc.) and if it's not offered by the school the kid can access it in the community for free. How lucky is that? Talent scouts are continually on the look-out for the rising stars. Once identified, the kid is invited to join the commonwealth-funded institute of sport that sponsors him/her with sport clinics, equipment, professional coaching, etc. everything the athlete would need to reach his/her full potential.

My step-nephew Jordan, at 10 y.o. was invited to the institute for showing promise in golf. His talent got him into the system which funnels the best and the brightest to eventually represent the country. He comes from a small town of 18,000 and was selected from a handful of golf-playing children. His talent is obvious but if he were born in a larger town, he would have had to compete harder. Less people, less competition, more resources to go around. He met Tiger Woods (before his fall) and had front row privileges at the Australian Masters. How well-placed was he? He's 14 now and is looking at a career as a pro golfer. All this to say, having less people certainly increases one's chances of accessing funds and taking advantage of golden opportunities. Another clear example is in the workplace. The smaller the town, the smaller the talent pool. It's not unusual then to find unqualified people occupying senior to top positions. Especially true in government and government-funded agencies (sounds familiar?); not so much in private enterprise. I had this perception of Au as a very advanced economy lead by forward-looking dynamic people, being a first world country and all (I've also had interactions with Au and Aussies in my previous life working for an American company which fed this perception). So when I came as a permanent resident, I was quite taken aback to discover that this is not always so. I was even shocked to discover that some parliamentarians (politicians that govern the country) do not even have degrees!

It never ceases to amaze me (e.g. dumbfound or impress, whatever the case may be) that in this vast and wondrous land of opportunities, it is not so much what you know but what you do with it (experience) and for the top positions who you know, that gets you the job. This latter bit would be the same back home. I had to downplay my degrees when job hunting here because they almost seemed irrelevant. My son, through sheer hard work was promoted manager in only four short months. He hasn't finished his degree but he has a treasure trove of knowledge and experience in the fitness and nutrition industry that was duly recognised and acknowledged by his bosses. Yes, I am very happy for him and rest assured that Au is the best place for him to realise his goals. Best decision ever. I doubt if the same could have happened in Manila where a degree is basic requirement for most entry level jobs, more so for management.

Singing Cooks & Waiters resto in MNL; yes even
the security guard sings! must go see

On the other end of the scale, having less people means lots of DIYs (do it yourself). Multitasking abounds. For example, most small cafes have perhaps two people working at any one time--the cook and the waiter. Both wear several hats. The cook is also the dishwasher (puts dirty dishes in the dishwasher and takes them out). The waiter is also the maitre d', the cashier and the cleaner-upper. In the Philippines, every task has a person assigned to it. Employment generation for the masses. Don't forget the security guard. Manpower is cheaper than electronic security devices and industrial dishwashers. I swear, I will tip more generously on my next visit to Pinas.
I get very annoyed (even angry) every time I hear people here complain about this, that or the other. I'm sure if they knew how people in less prosperous countries would kill to have what they have, they'd complain less. Maybe not. What to me are privileges, many Aussies (mostly the ferals) consider their right. Feeling entitled, it becomes almost a disincentive to work hard. Strange but true. Very alien concept to where I come from where one has to earn everything, nothing comes for free. And that's from having too many people that stretches our dwindling resources. Imagine if we had half the population with double the GDP, how much better off everyone would be. Until the Catholic Church stops demonizing population control, a prosperous Phils (circa 1960s-70s) would remain a dream. Case of less is more. So there.

Lure of the Great Outdoors

2010-10-10T18:46:00.008+11:00

dining outdoors with friends @ Robe, SA

It's obvious that the average Aussie has an enduring love affair with the great outdoors. Having 4 seasons with temperate climate helps. Weather is not as predictable as it is back home where it is easy to take the lush tropicana for granted. But I believe it's more than that, they appear to have a close affinity with the land. It's so refreshing to hear them speak so positively, almost lovingly about mother nature. There's usually an element of awe too. This is evident in their expansiveness---gorgeous, fabulous, fantastic, beautiful---are words more oft used to describe how they see their environment even in the driest, greyest, dullest drought-stricken areas (oops I just revealed how I see it ha!). Sun-worshipping is their favorite outdoor activity (small wonder why Australia has the highest incidence of skin cancer in the world!). Outdoor dining wins hands down over indoor.

water-skiing @Murray River, campers at back

They also love going barefoot anywhere they can get away with it. And going hatless even in the heat of day. I have taken to wearing hats to avoid the sun (a favorite outdoor activity of Pinoys: sun-avoidance) rather than use an umbrella. Umbrellas are almost nonexistent here. Even in the hottest of summer days, warm fresh air trumps stale airconditioned air anytime. A trend slowly picking up in Manila although I would hesitate because of the horrendous pollution and the sticky humidity. Quite uncomfortable rendering one looking like a limp rag. In Manila, I'll take the stale air-conditioned indoors over the warm carbon monoxide-laden outdoors anytime thank you.

Mildura motor show draws a good crowd; default
dress code for most everything is CASUAL

Events and activities they will do outdoors if they can help it. Water-based events such as ski races and fishing comps are very popular. Land-based such as motor shows and market days are convenient excuses to celebrate the great outdoors. They do know how to have fun. I am loving it. I've always been an outdoorsy person, but I am more so now having married a man of the bush.

caravans, a common sight on the road

This love affair extends to their golden years. Grey nomads. The common goal of the true green-and-gold Aussie---to explore the country on wheels in their greying years---at least the baby boomer generation of which I am told I'm part of (I don't mind, even though I feel and look more gen x. Heck I'll take both and enjoy the best of both!). Something like retiring on the road. The wander years. Fun! Entire magazines are dedicated to it dishing out advice on caravans, camping gear, destinations, hot fishing spots, stopovers, toilets guide, etc. It's a common sight---a car or 4WD towing a caravan, a smiling relaxed older couple at the helm.

typical caravan park

The countryside is replete with very comfortable caravan parks, a friendlier alternative to motels. Now, motels in Au do not have the same seedy connotation as they do in the Philippines, e.g. infamous for quickie illicit liaisons, places of ill-repute no self-respecting Filipina would be caught dead in. In fact, they're quite respectable places offering accommodation, nothing else. Hotels, at least in rural Au, are not the same as hotels where I come from e.g. high-rise places offering accommodation, fine food, conferencing facilities, entertainment. Hotels are in fact pubs where the community congregate after work for drinks, a feed, a game of darts or billiards, or watch some sport on the telly; normally no accommodation offered.

my neighborhood pub/hotel

It's where the latest goss is shared between gulps of one's favorite ale. It's a good place for the traveling grey nomad to get the latest news from the bartender who would normally be the owner-publican (no not the anti-Christ character of the Bible, but the person that mans the pub. I felt so silly reacting like an offended Catholic upon hearing that word for the first time ---images of Christ being persecuted by a mob of publicans and sinners flashing through my mind ha!).

tyranny of distance; Mungo park
far from everywhere

Travel, in general, seems to be in their blood. And why not? It'll take a lifetime to explore all 7.68 million sqkm of this vast and wonderfully diverse land. It's kinda by default that they have to travel anyway to cover tremendous distances. They even have a catch-phrase for it--the tyranny of distance. It used to boggle my mind that it was nothing to them to drive 100 km for a meeting or a party then drive back the same day. What with such good roads and little traffic, 100 km would only take an hour to drive. As a Manilena, driving that far meant an overnight stay and certainly at least two hours of stressful driving one-way. I remember doing the commute from Subic (where I lived and worked for 4 yrs) to Manila and would pride myself if I covered it in under 3 hrs, all 160 km of it!! Must be better now with the new highway that's supposed to cut travel time by half. The only times I would come back the same day was when I hired a driver. Otherwise, it was too much for me. Now 4 years onward, it's nothing to me to drive for meetings 200+ kms away and come back in time for dinner. Certainly distance does not impinge on my quality of life these days. Most, except the ferals (remember this from Strine II?), are even overseas travel-literate which accounts for their warmly accepting manner. Nothing like exposure to other cultures and way of living to expand one's understanding and raise one's level of tolerance for human differences.

@ Mungo Park lookout; the vastness behind us

Our personal homage to the great outdoors is our humble nipa hut (see The Aussie Barbie). It allows us many hours of outdoor enjoyment in comfort. Not to mention the business that Stan runs allows him to stay in close touch with it. Me too from time to time when they need a female perspective or a spare cook. Someday, we will hit the road like a couple of smiling relaxed grey nomads and carry on the happy tradition of our generation. Until then, we will strive not to let work get in the way too much of our travels.

Costly Living

2010-09-26T16:28:00.006+10:00

Anyone who fills out a visa form is warned repeatedly of the relatively high cost of living in Australia. (And no, it's not because of the number of relatives you may have--the more relatives, the higher the cost---harhar). It took me many months to come to terms with the reality and stop converting everything to pesos.

It was too stressful. I had to start enjoying the experience of shopping and stop regretting being parted with my money. I figured I can always make more (have to stay positive you know). The basics I had little option but to accept. But I would search high and low, even do the rounds of the nearby supermarkets to get the best deals.

Woolworths, Coles, Fishers, Foodworks, I have all their loyalty cards. No such thing as loyalty as far as I was concerned though. At least not for food, no sirree. Whoever gives me the best deals gets my hard-earned moolah. I've always been an "aware" shopper, e.g. I carefully study the ingredients and compare items on a cost per gram/ml/unit basis. I unashamedly would whip up my trusty pocket calculator in the middle of the aisle. Even if I end up paying more for bulk purchases, at least I am satisfied with the knowledge that I was squeezing the best value for money. It's from being a single mother for so long---being self-sufficient also meant being wiser and more frugal with money than the normal housewife or houseband. Thankfully, there aren't many point-of-purchase promo girls hawking their products in our neck of the woods.

SM Supermarket on a weekend

Unlike Manila where there might be one in every aisle! It's the cheap labor you see. Hiring people is cheaper than printing catalogues. Besides, it's employment generation for the masses. I would often take pity on them and end up buying their stuff or at the very least taste it. Hey, I've been in sales and it's a tough job so I do have a soft spot for the hard-working sales people. Even though what I sold were worth several 000's more, the effort is the same. God bless the sales folks. But I digress. Typical items in my cart: rice @ $2+/k, multigrain bread @ $3.50/loaf, eggs (large) @ $3/dozen (caged not free-range--I honestly do not see the fuss about this. You think the chook prefers to work for its food than just wait for its food to come to them? You think it even cares?)--I've since reconsidered after seeing a documentary on chicken factories in Au where the chook is crammed in small cages. They give us food so we owe it to them to provide them good quality life, chicken breast fillets @10/k,rump steak @ $16/k or eye fillet @ $26/k for the odd occasion, barramundi fillets @ $15/k, tiger prawns @ $24/k, 200 gm jar of good instant cofee (Moccona or Nescafe Gold) @ $15, brown sugar @ $2/k, assortment of vegies worth $20, fruit in season another $20, bananas @ $1-3/k--they only sell the bland cavendish---I will only buy if less than $1 remembering that the tastier variety in the Phils cost only a dollar for a whole bunch!!

Tagaytay fruit stall; $1 for a whole bunch

Permanent wet markets are non-existent where I am so everything has to come from the supermarket. Although there are a few mom and pop fruit and vegie shops that cut out the middle man, alas their prices are not competitive.

Home-made goodies are not cheap

I try to support the local farmers by visiting the weekend country markets from time to time. I am fortunate to live in Mildura, the foodie haven, the food bowl of Au. I go for the ambience, for the odd home-made fig jam, for the unique hand-knitted wool scarf, for the lovely feel of community. You'd think though we'd get wholesale prices for our food and wine? Not a chance. The economies of scale, law of supply and demand at work. If we only had more people the cost would be spread out more? I reckon. In fact, the farther from the major cities, the less people, the higher everything costs.

street musicians at Myer Bourke St., Melbourne

Apparel. I could not for the life of me bring myself to buy clothes here for the first couple of years. I kept comparing prices and could not psychologically justify the purchase. An ordinary T-shirt would cost anywhere from $20-30 and they're well, pretty ordinary (read ugly). Dresses over $100. Nikes $120++. Unless I chance upon a sale, I would not voluntarily shop for clothes or shoes. My internal dialogue would go like this "$100?!! For that money I could buy several cool outfits in Greenhills or at least 3 pairs of killer shoes in Greenbelt". I cringed at the prices and lamented at what I could buy for the same money back home. The worst part of the shopping is most of the products are made in China!! What the? That was my first major disappointment--even the designer brands are made in China. Heck I'll just wait for when I'm next in the Philippines and shop till I drop! If the exchange rate holds up (1:42 last I checked) I'll have plenty of change for a daily massage. Yey!

Ahh how I miss the cheap massages

Pampering and other girl stuff. The first thing on my to do list when I get home: get a massage. Then second thing: get a massage. Third: get a massage. Yes, I LOVE massages. Swedish, shiatsu, thai, detox, reflexology, reiki, volcanic stones, I LOVE them all. I used to have them weekly before the big move. At P250 plus tip ($6 ridiculous!), how could I not? Home service to boot. Since moving, I can count them with the fingers of one hand. At $50-80 a pop it is not difficult to understand. Now if I can only get my dear husband to give me a proper one every week I wouldn't be so homesick for one ha! Hair colour (regrowth only) is $40 which I have to do every 3-4 weeks. Haircut @ $20. My hairdresser does a good job but I miss the extras they give in Manila---the shampoo with head massage, blow-dry and styling, the back rub whilst waiting for the dye to set. The cup of coffee or cold iced tea---all for $10-12. Sigh. I've never gotten a manicure or pedicure here because I refuse to pay $30-50 for what costs a measly $5-10 back home. And I even get a nice hand and foot massage with the nail job. Yes, us Pinoys like to give as well as receive massages. Bikini wax is $20 vs $5 in RP. Because of high cost of maintenance here I've resorted to DIYs (do-it-yourself). I wouldn't recommend the waxing though eowww!

all for $8!!

Eating out. An average 3-course meal (starter, main, dessert) costs maybe $80-100 for two, drinks not included. Beer @ $3, glass of wine @ $7, coffee $3.50. My Aussie guests went berserk in Manila with beer costing only 50c. One of the best fine dining places in Manila, La Cocina de Tita Moning costs under $40 per head but that's a 5-course gourmet feast++!! A regular upmarket meal in Makati might go for $60 for two including drinks. A quick chow at a fastfood or takeaway shop maybe $8-10 vs. P100 or $2.50 at a regular Manila food court. Stan's best food experience is at Market Market fresh seafood center at Fort Bonifacio where we ordered garlic crabs, two huge plates for a measly $8, rice included. I shudder to think how much it would cost over here in Au.

yabbies for $16 (plain steamed) sigh...

The closest thing to it would be yabbies, taste like a cross between a lobster and a prawn, yummy but hard on the pocket @ $16-22/k!! We love eating out when we're over there more so than over here for obvious reasons.

But what makes the biggest difference overall, aside from the costs, is the quality of the customer service we get anywhere in the Phils. Waiters, salesgirls, etc. patiently hover over you awaiting your next order. It's almost embarassing if you're not used to it! I think I wouldn't mind so much paying the high price here if the customer service is there. But it's not. Nearly everything is self-serve. Your fill up your own tank. You pump your own tires. You pay for your meals at the cashier (even the upmarket ones). You get your shoe size among the stack of boxes yourself. Vendors are friendly enough but I guess I was looking for the extras. Oh well, I'll get plenty of that when I get home soon enough. Can't wait.

Strine II

2010-09-17T12:52:00.003+10:00

Nuances of Australian English took me a while to get. Only when I began noticing people other than my dear hubby using words the same way did I stop taking offense---umm something like two years ha! Two years of angst, most of it needless but some needful. Very early on in my migration I had resolved in my mind to gamely climb the steep learning curve of adjusting to a new culture. The onus was on me being the immigrant. The steep learning curve of adjusting to a husband is another matter (see Adjusting to Adjusting). Some of the more common aussieisms that threw me for a loop:

blank look

I couldn't tell you. Or else what? You'll have to kill me? I asked, wondering what the big secret was. I couldn't tell you. He repeated with a blank, end-of-discussion look on his face. I didn't know then that the blank look was genuine. My patience was running thin. What's the big deal?? Why couldn't you tell me??!! Ready to strangle him. He, on the other hand was getting more and more bewildered by my insistence over what to his mind was clearly nothing. Literally. His learned response to my growing annoyance and utter confusion is like fuel to fire---silence. Arrrrggghh. I couldn't tell you is Strine for "I don't know". I had come to that understanding after many a frustrating moment. My powers of observation do not seem to work when it comes to my nearest and dearest. Only from hearing it often enough from other folks, not so near nor dear, did I deduce the meaning. Yes, dear Watson, one must be objective for one to come to the correct conclusion. Ahhh, Sherlock I am not. For some reason, it is quite uncommon for Aussies to say "I don't know" when they can say I couldn't tell you. Why? I couldn't tell you.

Or not. Are you coming to the barbie or not? Will they be flying with us or not? Would you like a drink or not? Relax. Not meant to be an ultimatum, just an expression. I've had to consciously dissociate my instinctive defensive reaction at the words from interfering with the innocence of the question. Must take the tone into consideration, always. And it's usually warm and friendly. Phew. My aggressive American training really has no place here. In fact, aggressive behaviour is frowned upon among country folk. Laid back, relaxed, warm and genteel, it really isn't necessary. Aggressive behaviour is associated with drinking and the low-ed, low-income bracket, the ferals.

feral camels are considered pests in WA

That's another aussieism. It can also refer to stray animals, unwanted. Feral cats. feral goats, feral camels (yes, there are camels here). Feral folks, from how I've observed the term used, are probably the equivalent of the squatters in Manila. Although, there aren't technically any of that in Au, the lack of social manners would put them in the same class. No class. Uncouth. Low breeding. Inbreeding. Yes, there is a dark side to any culture after all. No matter how prosperous. Stan and I have a standing joke--every tiny town we pass through we break into the opening riffs of the banjo in "The Deliverance". Can you hear it? If you're there longer than two blinks you won't (joke, don't shoot!).

typical small town, popn < 200. wheat silo at back

Half past. The time is half past ten. Let's meet at half past seven for dinner. A variation could be--Tea will be served at a quarter to one. Or Conference starts at a quarter past two. Get it? I've never heard a native say the exact time to the minute even when they're looking at a digital watch! Bit softer with the time. Not exacting. Quite Filipino in that they too are not very strict with time but not as abusive with it like the infamous "Filipino time". Aussies allow for a few minutes late start to anything. Not a whole hour or more.

Aussie Rules football is HUGE in Au you reckon? Yeah naah.

Yeah naah. So what is it, yes or no? Both. Confused? Just go with it. It's a very safe way to say you agree but not quite. It seems like a good way to deliver an honest opinion without outrightly disagreeing. "Geelong is the best footy team ever you reckon?" "Yeah naah Carlton's won more premierships overall." Similar to how Pinoys say "siguro" or add "naman" so we don't sound disagreeable. Although soft is not a word commonly used to describe Aussies, it seems appropriate when it comes to expressing themselves. Simply add the gruff no-nonsense tone.
You right? This one's easy. Shortcut for "You alright?" I'm right. A much used aussieism--You'll be right mate. Offering reassurance. They're so tough nothing can ruffle them. At least they like to think so. In my work with communities in drought, I find this to be the biggest barrier to recovery. This very coping mechanism becomes a convenient cop-out. Similar to the Pinoy "Bahala na." Only diff is Pinoys tend to lean on a Higher Being whereas Aussies tend to lean on themselves. A balance between the two would be perfect, in my opinion.

Shits.I never knew there's a plural for it. Like you's (see "Strine English"). The isolation has caused them to make up their own rules it seems. Got the shits. Unhappy, upset, angry, hormonal, menopausal, wait that's me ha!

I reckon. Originating from the Pommies (Brits), it means "I think so." Reckon and think seem to be interchangeable here. Can also mean to agree or believe something to be right. You reckon I have a hope in hell of mastering strine? I reckon. Smile.

Septem"BER"...start of Christmas

2010-09-05T16:21:00.002+10:00

Ahh it's September already, the first of the "ber" months, signalling the start of the Christmas season--Pinoy style. I think it was meant to be "brrr" as in cold. But since I am in the southern hemisphere where our Christmas is the height of summer, I will stick to "ber". Pinoys are known to have the longest Xmas season (September to January till Three Kings). Any excuse to celebrate. Where have all the months gone? When I was just getting used to writing 2010 it's nearly time to change it to 2011! Time flies when you're having fun. Err, that too. More like my age catching up on me so the days begin to merge into one big blur. I found this in my archives. I wrote it in 2007 in Multiply (the precursor of FB, now inactive). Feeling nostalgic, it is as relevant today as it was back then. My updates in italics.

My First Aussie Christmas

Not my first Christmas away from home but my first without my baby. Never mind I'll see him soon enough. Though Stan and his family are very warm and inclusive I can't help but feel homesick and find myself pining for my Pinoy Xmas. I still do, four years on.

just like back home the youngest get to play Santa

So what is an Aussie-style xmas? Much the same as a Pinoy xmas except no midnight mass and the big day is xmas day itself with as many family members as can make it together for lunch or dinner (or is it dinner and tea?). Then kris kringle after (exchange gifts). Yes, my new family is very family-oriented so I am quite relieved. It's summer time, quite warm verging on scorching. Takes a while to reconcile a lifetime of experiencing xmas in cool weather with a hot and sweaty one.

leche flan was a hit beside the pavlova

I was asked to bring a traditional Filipino dessert so I brought a leche flan. Despite the fact that I didn't flip it upside down nor did I make the caramelized sugar topping, it was a big hit. My mother would have been proud of me. Besides, my Aussie family wouldn't know the diff. It went head-to-head with the traditional Aussie faves the pavlova and the trifle--all made with tons of cream (wreaked havoc to my lactose-intolerant tummy).

typical drive-in liquor outlet

All day eating, drinking, merry-making, drinking, laughing, drinking.....did I say drinking? More drinking. Much like Pinoy xmas with less copious drinking. The bottle shops have their best sales (yes, drive-in liquor stores imagine that!)
What do I miss aside from the obvious? The lights glittering in every home, the xmas jingles incessantly playing in the malls and radio(yes, believe it or not, that too) the caroling from house to house and the skillful dodging, the cool, crisp December air.......the general smell and feel of xmas in pinas. I miss Dad's garden lights artfully decked to lend focus to the magnificent parol (Christmas star) in the middle. I miss decorating our 10-ft tall xmas tree, wondering whether the vintage birds will hold up, remnants of Mommy's prized collection. I miss turning the xmas lights on as soon as it gets dark, quietly basking in the twilight glow. I miss seeing the gifts multiplying daily under the tree wondering which ones are mine.

xmas 95

I miss putting the goodies in my nephews and nieces xmas stockings, hoping to fill them up on a shoestring budget. I miss the misa de gallo, the puto bumbong, bibingka and all other traditional xmas treats. Most of all, I miss taking everyone's photos while they open their presents after the chaotic exchange. We have that too here in Au, just a much smaller crowd. A flurry of colorful wrappers madly being ripped and torn then the ooohs and aaahs and thank yous. Some genuinely pleased, some hiding unsuccessfully their disappointment.....ahh kids at heart, aren't we all? Peace time among the siblings. Nice. The days in between Christmas and New Year was quite special for my family. We'd trek up to Baguio and spend a few days at Teachers Camp (Mommy was a teacher which gave us access to it) to enjoy the cool weather. We'd gather dry twigs and fallen cones from the pine trees and toss them into the fireplace---about the only time we'd experience one---and toast marshmallows. We loved it and our kids did too. Simple fun. Simple bliss.

ubiquitous sight starting September

traditional belen

I miss the ubiquitous parol, the Christmas star. I still have not gotten my parol but I will. I much prefer the traditional ones made of papel de hapon or the plain five-pointed star made of capiz shells. Simply elegant. And what about the manger scene. It's rare in this part of the world it seems. Every Christmas I manage to cajole Stan into checking out the Christmas lights competition in town and every Christmas I am disappointed that not one house has a manger scene. I shouldn't be surprised really. I've been working with communities over the last three years and observe that religion, or believing in a Higher Being, is not prevalent among the younger generation (including mine). Good and bad. Good, in that they're quite accepting and tolerant of others beliefs. Bad, in that in times of desperation, they have no one greater than themselves to turn to. This has led to many doing very desperate and drastic deeds. The correlation is arguable but certainly religion as a coping mechanism is very much alive and kicking back home. And certainly people are much more content and thankful despite the wide disparity in economic standard of living. But that's for another blog. Anyway, about the belen (manger scene) I've decided that this Christmas I will have one in my yard as a testament to my faith. So shoot me.

Focusing on what I have, not what I don't, is my mantra these days. Kinda goes hand-in-hand with my long-standing email tagline "Got a lemon? Make lemonades. But don't forget the sugar." Truly, a thankful heart is a happy heart. Pass the sugar please.........

Driving on the Wrong Side

2010-08-29T18:03:00.004+10:00

I've been driving 30+ years in one of the most challenging road and traffic conditions in Asia (so non-Pinoys swear) so I thought driving in Australia, with its' wide roads and its' courteous law-abiding drivers, would be a piece a cake. I was wrong. Again. Not only do they drive on the wrong side of the road but they're also very strict about obeying road signs. Hefty fines magically appear in your mailbox with a stern warning to pay up or suffer dire consequences. Trigger happy speed cameras abound. In short, you will be caught red-handed and there's no escaping the law. You also get demerit points in your driver licence. With most everything computerised, the long arm of the law is attached to a vice grip you cannot talk your way out of.

road sign along EDSA competing with billboard ads

You know you're Pinoy when you understand what a double whammy that is. In the motherland, road signs, road markings, speed limits, etc. are generally regarded as mere warnings, a guide to navigating one's way through the organised chaos that is Manila traffic. They often get lost amidst the myriad of advertising billboards that compete for the Manila driver's attention and oftentimes get superceded by the MMDA traffic enforcer. Speed limits in the main thoroughfares are hard to exceed because the sheer volume of vehicles calibrate the flow to a painfully slow pace. I chuckle to myself every time I hear people here complain about the "traffic". The big cities of Melbourne, Adelaide and Sydney combined do not come close to what Manilenos put up with on a daily basis! "Traffic" to country folks is maybe a 10-car build-up in a roundabout, umm perhaps 20-30 sec of idling. What joy.

The amount of idling we get in Manila is so bad it provides business opportunities to the enterprising. The busy city streets become moving fast-food centres. The slower the flow, the more business is generated.

peanut vendor

Oh how I miss the freshly boiled peanuts and the hot kropek. And what about those nodding dogs for the dash? The latest products on the shopping channel? Not just a fastfood centre but a shopping mall too. These vendors risk life and limb to earn a few pesos. OH&S (Occupational Health & Safety) will have a field day. But I digress. I just had to stick this photo in.

Back to driving in Au. Pedestrians have right of way. How refreshing. Vehicles have to do a full stop before zebra crossings when pedestrians need to cross, wait till the last one steps off the road and is safely on the curb before proceeding. Very civilised. I feel so safe everytime I'm the pedestrian. So opposite back home. No regard for safety, people cross busy Manila streets at great risk. They cross everywhere, on zebras and off. Cars do not stop, much less slow down for pedestrians. Cars, not people have right of way. A sign of low regard for human life perhaps? Life, when there are so many lives, is cheap it seems.

emu

No honking of horns. You know an Asian is driving when you hear an impatient honk. Busted. It's considered rude. The horn is so rarely used here in the country that one can go without it (not the same in the big cities though with a high Asian popn ha!). Many months ago Stan accidentally hit an emu while out in the bush. Now emus I am told are very dangerous creatures once you collide with them because their heads are so hard and their necks so long that a head- on collision might mean coming eyeball-to-eyeball with it. Thankfully, this one didn't. But it did damage the entire front of his 4WD including the horn. He's never noticed that the horn didn't get fixed until I had to borrow his car for my drive test.

I got my Victorian driver license early this year. I was driving with my Philippine license prior without any incident. Ok, ok I had a few scary moments my first couple of times on the road-- I realised I was on the wrong side upon seeing other cars coming straight at me yeow! Fortunately, people here are kind and forgiving, all I got were dirty looks ha! Other than that and checking my orientation at all times (making a right turn was tricky) I was fine. So applying for an Australian license should be a breeze right? Naaahhhhh. It's much harder because I had to unlearn 30+ years of "different" driving habits and learn new rules on top of getting used to driving on the other side. All my instincts taught me to look to the left before the right. Here it's right then left. Doh!

typical Manila traffic

A1 driving school taught me all about "defensive driving" in the wild wild streets of Raon where metal and human bodies come within inches of the other (surprisingly very low casualty rate). Dodging vehicles left, right , front and back with nary a scratch was an art. Vicroads admonishes me to drive "cooperatively". My re-education was a process of taming my "survival driving" style. Hmm, I might not have the guts to drive back in Manila again, we'll see.

Securing a Victorian driver license is a 3-step process, the first two are theoretical exams and the last is a drive test. I ace'd the first two and was confident I would ace the last. I had three go's and finally passed it the fourth time aaarrrgh!! What a blow to my ego. I kept flunking the speed test (yes, you have to maintain the speed limit up to the point where the sign changes, not a centimeter before!) and the head turn when switching lanes or turning a corner (have to do a stage drama turn of the head. With my long hair, I look like I'm shooting a shampoo commercial!). I was a few hundred dollars poorer too. Waaah.

hard-earned licence

Each drive test had a fee attached. I swear those Vicroad guys saw me as a cash cow aaarrrgh!! Nevertheless, I kept going. I would not be defeated. Finally, they must have figured they've milked me enough, my fourth and final go, I got the nod. Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah. I heard the chorus in my head. Euphoria. Finally. With a thankful and triumphant smile I posed for my photo ID and got a ten-year license. A bird in hand, you know.

"Strine" English

2010-08-23T19:06:00.001+10:00

Fair dinkum. Sticky beak. Budgie smugglers. Up at sparrow fart.

Typical country road sign

What the? Yep, that's Australian (pronounced by opening one's mouth really big and lazily combining all three syllables together) s-t-r-i-n-e. Thought I spoke English when I first came here. I was wrong. At least not the English that the natives speak. Strine. Say it with a cheeky grin. Very strange expressions too (see above samples).

PM in waiting in budgie smugglers

Definitions of the above samples:
Fair dinkum - (adv) really, seriously (adj) genuine; may be used to express surprise (!) or to affirm a statement (.) e.g. Are you fair dinkum?
Sticky beak - (v) to nose around, have a look see; (n) busybody. e.g. I'll just have a sticky beak in that shop.
Budgie smugglers - (n) speedo swimming trunks or speedos for short. Made even more popular by candidate for PM Tony Abbott (I so admire the fact that at 52 he is so buffed!). Huh? What's a speedo got to do with a smuggler and what the heck is a budgie? A budgie is short for budgerigar, a small colourful bird quite common here. Smugglers with an "s" always. I was laughed at when I used the singular form. It's for the twin things to go into the speedo. Get it?

cute budgies

Up at sparrow fart - Up really early in the morning before the sparrows wake up. They can be quite primal in their expressions methinks.

The hhhhheych for "h". Can be amusing.

Strine has grown on me and has slowly but surely crept into my vocab. Some words are easy. Cuppa (cuppa coffee, cuppa tea, cuppa anything!). Call in for a cuppa my mother-in-law keeps admonishing me. I will, this arvo (afternoon). Silent "r". Wotah, kah, nevah, evah. Fond of nicknames, they shorten everything two syllables and more. The "ie": barbecue - barbie (see last blog post). Christmas - Chrissie. Present - pressie. Politician - pollie. Football - footie. The "o": arvo, smoko, reno, rego, Johno (why not Johnnie?). The "azz"; Gary - Gazza. Sharon - Shazza. Get the drift? It's a wonder I have escaped being nicknamed. Not common enough name for a sheila I guess. Phew!

Me mate & I

Me for my. Me mates. Me shed. Me house. Cute.

You's. This is one word which I do NOT think is charming, much less acceptable. The plural of "you" is "you". Not "you's" or "youse". How are youse? I couldn't quite figure it out the first time I heard it. Miguel and I were buying ice cream in the local fish and chips shop when the young shopkeeper cheerily greeted us "How are youse?" Since then, I've been on the lookout and notice that it's the norm indeed. Oh well. At least in my house, the plural of you is us.

People here often times tell me that I speak very good English, usually with a very surprised look as if trying to reconcile their cognitive dissonance. Fantastic, they understand me. I say thanks, so do you. Cheeky. You reckon I will speak Strine like a native soon? Bloody oath. I already got the attitude ha!

The Aussie Barbie

2010-08-22T14:59:00.001+10:00

Xmas barbie. A very relaxed way of entertaining.

No not the Australian version of the barbie doll but the barbecue. I can remember my first ever barbie, it was in fact one we hosted--the Xmas street party at our neighbourhood. When Stan told me we were hosting the annual community Xmas party, the Pinoy party planner in me started figuring out in my mind all the things that we needed to organise--the food of course, the drinks (and boy can they drink!), the tables, chairs, decor, programme, sound system, etc all the paraphernalia I associated with big parties. After all, coming from a family of ten children plus extended family of 100+ cousins on either side, family reunions would range from a handful (20, not including the yayas and other helpers) to a barangay-ful (200+ was the last major one)---party planning was in my blood. To my huge surprise and most pleasant relief, I was told to relax as everything was BYO. Bring your own food, drinks, chairs, tables. Nothing too organised, just provide a welcoming, christmassy ambience for all the neighbours to enjoy each other's company. True to the laid-back relaxed approach Aussies take to life in general. No worries. Too easy. I must admit it was discombobulating for me the first couple of years as a Pinoy hostess to have guests bring food (I could feel my Dad shake his head in shamed disapproval and my Mom gasp que horror!) I very gladly adapted and eagerly allowed everyone to share their bounty and vice versa. Takes the pressure away from the host. Very fair way to have a communal event and best of all there's not a huge mess to clean up afterwards because everyone helps with the clean-up. How good is that? I love it! Makes entertaining that much easier and more spontaneous. We try to have a barbie as often as we can during the warmer months. Everyone's just a phone call away. Nice.

Stan's shed. At left is his latest toy, a bobcat.

The barbie also refers to the grill. I am told that in Au, a man is measured by two things: his shed (see right photo) and his barbie (see above photo). That is why the man is always expected to cook the meats and anything that need to be grilled. Stand back woman. I am all too happy to oblige.

lovely Pinoy accent in our backyard

Outdoor entertaining is big here in fact I'm sure if given a choice most Aussies would prefer to live outdoors than indoors. I'm with them on that. How can I resist the clear pollution-free blue skies, the fresh cool breeze, the myriad of wildlife that surround our home, the sweet chirping of beautiful parrots ("look at me, look at me" that's what they sound like, really!), the odd kangaroo or two leaping across the bong at dawn and dusk. All that makes country living very attractive indeed. Yeah sure, there's the tyranny of distance but one gets used to it and works with it. To top it off, my dear hubby built me a nipa hut in our backyard. How sweet is that? He says it's to help assuage my homesickness. But really it's to assuage his. He fell in love with the nipa hut the first time he laid eyes on it on his first trip to the Philippines. It has since become central to our barbecues. Also, a charming way to integrate both cultures you reckon?

Adjusting to Adjusting

2010-08-18T14:55:00.003+10:00

Someone said that moving is like dying. If so then I've died a few dozen times. But this move would have to be the biggest move of my life. This one's fraught with multiple changes. So many I have to adjust to. Well, I don't have to, I want to. Firstly, the obvious---from a tropical country to a four seasons one (yey); from hectic city life to placid country life; from self-sufficient singlemotherhood to co-sufficient marriedhood. (Am I stretching my literary liberty too much here?) I'll start with these. They all came at once in one fell swoop right after the wedding. Bang. Had I been occupied with full time employment I probably would have been too busy to face them and there would not have been an "interim". Or perhaps the impact would not have been as palpable. I would have probably just coasted along with the changes and not given them much thought. Ignorance is bliss. But naah not a chance. I tend to learn the hard way. Yes, the universe had indeed conspired to have me "float" for a few months to get my bearings. Lost a few in the process ha!

sexy boots

My first winter was miserable. How was I to know that taking long hot showers in winter dries the skin? How was I to know that staying too close to the heater dries the skin? How was I to know that soap dries the skin? Yep, learned it the hard way. I had the worst case of dry legs ever. They were scaly, itchy and yucky ugly. Not even the shea butter someone swore would work helped. Thank God for google. I learned that everything I instinctively thought would work (long hot showers, hugging the heater, even the gentlest of soap) didn't. In fact were the worst things for the skin in winter. Waaah! Thankfully, I had to take a quick trip back to Manila at the height of rainy season (Aug ergo high humidity). The scales magically disappeared. Amazing. I now use non-soap wash, avoid getting too close to heaters and take the shortest military-like hot showers. Also, now I simply love winter. The girl in me comes out to try out winter fashion. Leather coat, leather boots. Love'm.

Hawaiian theme new year's eve party

At the opposite extreme is summer. The hottest place I have ever been prior to moving here is the sauna at 52 degrees C. Hot and dry, it was suffocating. My first new year in Au was spent camping near the river. Sounds romantic? Not in 58 degrees!! Whoa I couldn't believe it. Neither could most everyone. I must bring out the extremes even in the weather!?? But we had a great time, notwithstanding the stifling heat. Thank God for cool friends.

Bourke St., Melbourne

Before the big move, I would go to nearby malls, shopping centers, parks, cinemas, libraries, the odd museum etc, lots of options for entertainment. Or if I felt like company I'd pick up the phone and invite friends to meet for coffee, movie, lunch, dinner, theater, dance, badminton, anything and everything was within spontaneous reach. Coming to Mildura, I found that entertainment had to be planned in advance. Travel was never a big factor in my past life, living right in Makati CBD, now it is a HUGE factor. The nearest big cities: Adelaide (popn 1M) and Melbourne (popn 3M)are 4.5/5.5 hrs away. So to get my big city fix requires a bit of forward planning. I have grown not to mind it as the pay off is some top class live entertainment such as Cirque d'Soleil (my fave), Billy Elliot, Priscilla Queen of the Desert (there was a Pinay in the cast, cast as a Tagalog-speaking puta ha!) etc. And of course the live footy. Let me tell you that in Victoria most people are football-mad. I've had to pick a "side" right from get go. Being the mango in a basket of apples that I am, I picked a side that no one in the Sleep family barracked for. Why? Because the star player looked like my son ha! I was ridiculed, scorned, lambasted, my husband hung his head in shame. I stood my ground and thumbed my nose at them all hmph! I would not be bullied, I've made up my mind. Being the lone voice in the wilderness is nothing new to me. This player has since changed teams but I've grown fond of my team now. Go blues!

Must I let him go too?

Perhaps the hardest adjustment for me is being parted from Miguel. Even though he is now in the same country, he is oh so far away. Being the independent, self-sufficient son that I raised him to be doesn't help either. What is it with boys that they can't be bothered to pick up the phone let Mom know they're still alive and well?! Drives me nuts especially when I can't contact the boy. It's not about you son, it's about me. I need your help in managing my grieving cycle. On reflection, this situation would still be the same regardless of setting. Empty-nesting sucks.

Cheers mate!

Adjustment is never easy but it doesn't have to be hard either. I've learned to embrace this new way of life and let go of the old. I've had to allow my own grieving process and more importantly, I've had the unconditional support of my chosen life partner, this warm human being who allowed me to grieve. Bit bewildering for him I'm sure but to his credit he let me be. He has taught me so much about staying positive. It is something that has evolved within me after four and a half years of processing. It is also a choice I've made. So easy to be negative. So much work to be positive. But it so worth it. Happiness is indeed a choice. I'll be speaking like a local soon mate :)

The Paper Chase

2010-08-17T18:38:00.002+10:00

Paper, paper, paper, and MORE paper. Did I say paper? PAPER. That about sums up my tip on navigating the highly regulated Australian legal system.

Boxes, boxes, boxes, and MORE boxes. Did I say boxes? BOXES. That about sums up the extremely anal visa application system. Gotta tick them all. You think they read all the submissions not to mention the attachments? Hey? Shaking my head. Just inundate them with so much paperwork they'll KNOW you're legit. My tip on breezing through the requirements. Did I say breeze? More like typhoon signal #6 winds. Nothing gentle nor smooth about applying for a permanent visa. I have nothing to compare this experience with so I'm sure it's just as onerous in other countries. But man, what a lot of work. So many forms, police clearances, stat decs, medical clearances, marriage certificate (of course, NSO-issued), evidence of residency, relationship, financial ability, ad nauseum. Every document I had to chase I had to grit my teeth and stay focused on my man. Worth it? Absolutely. What I do for love........sigh.

I swear you have to be perfect to be awarded (really!) a permanent resident visa here. So if anything goes wrong with my marriage it's Stan's fault not mine. I'm perfect that's why ha! This whole boat people issue I am clear on. I have no sympathy for those who take advantage of Australia's generosity yet have no paperwork to prove their legitimacy. I'm with Tony Abbott on this one--no paper, no entry. So there.

Had to renew my passport this year. Had I known how much it would cost me I would have renewed it on my last visit to the Philippines. The Philippine embassy makes a killing over here on passport renewals and they are sooo slow. Took 3 months to process. Why? Because the passports are sent to the DFA in Manila and back!! Plus they only give 5 years! How crazy is that? And they're computerised now too? Ha! Au immigration said I don't need a visa stamp so we'll see how it goes on my next trip to Manila in Dec. Fingers crossed.

Job-hunting. Very important to retrieve all original docs such as official transcripts of record from university and other qualifications as Australia recognises prior learning (RPL). Very good of them to have this system. I managed to get all of mine recognised so I didn't have to start (God forbid) from scratch. I'm too old and too proud to do that. I had to do a lot of research to find out about this as there is no guide book for migrating professionals in finding work commensurate to qualifications and training. Although I do take great pride in my academic achievements, I find that most Aussie employers do not put a lot of weight on them (read: they don't care). In fact, in the smaller country towns with most people having that famous BS detector, they consider high-falutin vocabulary wankin off! Very down-to-earth, they value experience and attitude topmost, which is very refreshing. Fortunately, I can tick all those boxes so no worries. It took me roughly 3 months of continuously sending my resume out before I landed my first job in Mildura. The interim was the hardest.

First step in Aus

2010-08-16T23:06:00.005+10:00

"We're not in Kansas anymore....." errr more like the reverse for this Dorothy---Welcome to Kansas, more like it ha! From living in a city of 12M to a city of 60,000 with the same land area is QUITE a shift. Imagine moving from a place with a population density of 18,800 per sqkm to one with ONLY 2.4 per sqkm is nothing short of mind-boggling. First question I asked Stan when he toured me through the streets of Mildura was "Where are all the people?" Can you blame me? Apparently, the same question many Asians ask the first time they land in country Au. No one to ask directions from. What if you get lost?!! Took me many months to get used to the idea.

From this

to this

Maps are of great use in this part of the world, I discovered. That's who you ask if/when you get lost. Very comprehensive and surprisingly reliable. I also discovered I can read maps! But don't tell Stan. He reckons I can't. Just because he interprets it differently from me doesn't mean I can't. TG for GPS. That has saved our marriage. Got one for xmas last year so now we don't argue about directions anymore. But I get ahead of my travelogue.
With only 60,000 you think I'd know all of them by now, four and a half years on. Kidding. Not! Trying to have a private coffee or after hours drink along the main strips (you can count them with the fingers of one hand) without being recognised or recognising anyone is near improbable with the husband I happen to have and the job I currently do. I'm exaggerating again. Not! It's actually nice to be so recognisable and I take secret pride in being married to such a footy personality who's also regarded as an all around genuinely good aussie bloke (aww). Still.....

Someone asked me what I miss the most about Manila. The anonymity. Go figure.

Are we there yet?

swag

Space, lots of it. I do love it but I need my big city fix from time to time. If only to make me come running back home to the country. My first taste of living in the bush was my first night at Sextons, the camp that Stan and Bernie his brother own, my first visit to Mildura in 2006. Stan painted me this romantic picture of sleeping in a "swag" under the stars. It was the most uncomfortable bed I've ever slept in aaarrrgh! Not to mention the freezing temp (so cold the dam froze over!). And that annoying alarm clock of a kookaburra. It seemed to know who was the newbie and screamed its reveille right in my ear aaarrrghh!! Romantic, my foot. I swore then to NEVAH sleep in a swag again evah! The aussification of moi---has begun, sigh.

wheeeeee! what a ride

So this is blogging.....

2010-08-15T19:00:00.000+10:00

Due to popular demand (taking "literary" license here ahem) I am finally putting finger to keyboard and start writing a blog about my trail and travails as a Pinoy expat in the vast and wondrous land Down Under. I'm being expansive, my main instigator for this topic (my BFF GR---we go back a long way, umm 30 some years?!), really wanted me to write a "travelogue" about my "journey" as a Filipina wife of an Aussie bloke. Though I would argue that I don't fit the stereotype, I nevertheless probably share the same impressions, if not the same experiences, of my new adopted country and countrymen. As if I'll have readers besides my BFF and maybe my friends in Facebook ha! If only to record my thoughts and experiences and share my learnings in my many trails (fodder for that book I swore I was going to write one day), here goes.......