Self Development Plan of Action

I Think - Therefore, I Am - Not by Peter Vajda, Ph.D

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 21:54:00 +0000

I Think - Therefore, I Am - NotBy [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D]Peter Vajda, Ph.D

The question beneath the question is: On what basis am I who I think I am?

Picture a motherboard, or a system board - the piece of electronic equipment that runs many electronic and computerized devices. If you've ever seen a motherboard or system board, you'll see it's not flat; rather, there are numerous nodes, diodes, and other small metal and plastic structures soldered to it. These various structures contain all of the programming and commands that allow the computer or electronic device to function.

Now, assume your brain is a motherboard. And, here's another question:

If, when you were born, your motherboard (your brain) were, indeed, completely flat, with no structures containing programming or commands on it, how did it happen that you have the thoughts, beliefs, world views, assumptions, expectations, inferences, biases, and most importantly, the values, you now have; that is, where did all the nodes, diodes and structures on the motherboard you use to navigate life and the world come from?

This is an especially important question if you are someone who considers themselves to be:

A free thinker Spontaneous Independent Open-minded Conscious

A "nobody's gonna tell me how to be..." type of individual

Those of us who have convinced ourselves we have created our own motherboards from scratch would be well-served to perhaps think again - and maybe really think and reflect for the first time.

In our world at work, at home, at play and in relationship, we all have specific beliefs and viewpoints that drive our behaviors.

In other words, we have a set of values and beliefs (nodes, diodes, programming, etc.) that support our stories about how we feel about such things as:

At work: delegation, giving and receiving feedback, vision and mission planning, relating and socializing, honesty, cheating, glass ceilings, intellectual property, hiring and firing, listening, open communication, career, collaborating and competing, affirmative action...

At home: chores, sex, money, fidelity, children, in-laws, cooking and diet, cleaning, organization, trust, exercise, travel, God...

At play: types of games/sports; team vs. individual, cheating, winning and losing, practicing...
In relationship: commitment, honesty, trust, safety, communication, sharing, fun, family, roles, men, women...

The deal is all of our behavior at work, at home, at play and in relationship is a function of what we have on our motherboards - our programming.

So, how did we come to create, or have, our programming, our values and our beliefs?

Ask lots of folks and they'll say they did it themselves. Especially those who fight to the death to assure everyone they "think for themselves". "I'm my own man/woman!" Hmmm. Really?
Being conscious and self-aware means taking a deep, long look at the notion of "I am who I think I am." and perhaps discovering that "I am who someone else wanted me to be" - by taking a microscopic look at each of the nodes and diodes on our motherboard and asking, "Hmm, how did this one get here?" "And this one?" "And this one?" "How did I become who I am?"

Such an exploration will undoubtedly lead to some interesting discoveries: that, for one thing, someone else in fact may own a particular node, or a particular diode; that someone else has crafted a particular node or particular diode; that I am really operating on someone else's value or belief that I have taken on that I think is "me".

Who is it really who controls what you think, feel, say and do? Who is it that really, really influences your choices and your decisions? How did you come to believe what you believe, how you feel and how you react and respond as you do to people, places, events and circumstances in your life - at work, at home, at play and in relationship?

How did you become known as: "the happy one", "the angry one", "the hard-nosed one", "the prejudiced one", "the political one", "the honest one", "the fearful one", "the risk-taker", "the selfish one", "the compassionate one", "the writer", "the artist", "the non-mathematical one", "the don't-go-into-law" one"?" How did you become the I am described in the phrase, "I am who I think I am?"

Have you ever consciously explored the life experiences and beliefs of your parents, extended family members, your teachers, your clergy members, those who had an influence on you in your childhood and formative years?

Have you ever consciously explored your experiences with your early bosses, or military leaders, and later on with politicians, the media, radio, the Internet, reality TV - all of which have had the opportunity to craft and mold the nodes and diodes on your motherboard in very subtle ways?

Have you ever, early on or later on, sold out your own nodes and diodes to others for a price? For example, who do you associate with, and why? What does that association get you? Do you ever lie, cheat or steal at work? If so, why? What's the belief underneath your actions? Did you ever marry for money? Why? Do you jeopardize your health? Why? Do you jeopardize your relationship? If so, using what belief or story?

Most often we have allowed others, often unconsciously, to buy real estate on our motherboard because first, as a child, it brought us mommy and daddy's love, appreciation, approval, and acceptance. So we replicated their nodes and diodes and soldered them to our own motherboard - so now we think, feel, and act the way they did and often find our life is unhappy and hard, while not really understanding why.

Or, later in adolescence and early adulthood, as we entered the world of work and more serious relationships, we replicated others' nodes and diodes out of guilt, or fear and often found, and find, our life is unhappy and hard, while not really understanding why.

So, here we are, often living life at work, at home, at play and in relationship not knowing who we really, really are - disconnected from our True and Real Self because we have soldered so many others' nodes and diodes, beliefs, visions, thoughts and values to our own motherboard and think this is "me" or similarly taken reactive positions to others' influences and think this reactive stance is "me".

How do you know who you really are?

One way to begin to explore who you really are is by asking the following questions:

Do I have a closed mind? Is my mind always made up? Am I intolerant of others who don't see life as I do?

Do I see all of life as black and white? Am I rigid and inflexible, unforgiving and unbending, somewhat fanatical in my beliefs about life?

Do I use fear, guilt, manipulation, coercion and shame as weapons to get others to act in ways I feel they should act?

Am I opposed to differing perspectives, points of view and ideas?

By asking these questions and observing yourself, from outside yourself, you can begin to gain first-hand evidence of whose nodes and modules are on your motherboard.
And by asking these questions and observing yourself, from outside yourself, you can begin to gain first-hand evidence of whose nodes and modules are on your motherboard so you can consciously discern between:

·I think; therefore I am., and ·I think others' beliefs and thoughts; therefore I am who I think I am, which is not, in fact, me.

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

· Choose a few of your deepest or strongest beliefs about work, life at home, play and relationships and ask yourself, "How did I actually come to have these beliefs?" "Do they really serve me well and bring me true and real happiness or a false happiness and false sense of security?"

· How have former bosses, politicians, the clergy, or TV and the media shaped my beliefs?

· Would others say I am open to opposing viewpoints?

· How did I come to have the beliefs I have around: money, career, friends, family, appearance, health, fun, love relationships, and spirituality?

·What stories about life at work, at home, at play and in relationship have I created based on my beliefs. Do my stories support my experience of fun, happiness, contentment and joy in my life?

If not, do I prefer to keep my story to changing my belief? If so, why?

· Do I always need to be right?

· Am I gullible and easily deceived?

· Do I generally approach life with cynicism and skepticism?

· How well do I deal with change?

· When I listen to my inner judge and critic, whose voice do I most often hear (mother, father, primary caregiver, other)? What stories does that voice tell? And, are those stories true? Really?

· Do I consider myself to be a "free thinker? How did I arrive at this belief?

---ABOUT THE AUTHOR---

Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching and counseling. With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit, Peter's 'whole person' coaching approach supports deep and sustainable change and transformation.

Peter facilitates and guides leaders and managers, individuals in their personal and work life, partners and couples, groups and teams to move to new levels of self-awareness, enhancing their ability to show up authentically and with a heightened sense of well be-ing, inner harmony and interpersonal effectiveness as they live their lives at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

Peter is a professional speaker and published author. For more information: http://www.spiritheart.net or mailto:pvajda@spiritheart.net pvajda@spiritheart.net, or phone 770.804.9125.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D http://EzineArticles.com/?I-Think---Therefore,-I-Am---Not&id=1341206

Heaven and Hell - Which Are You Creating at Work? by Peter Vajda, Ph.D

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:29:00 +0000

Heaven and Hell - Which Are You Creating at Work?By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D]Peter Vajda, Ph.D

One night, a man (generic) had a dream, and in the dream an angel comes and takes him on a tour of heaven and hell. They visit hell first. It turns out that hell, surprisingly enough, is a huge banquet room, with tables full of all the food and drink one could possibly want. The people at the tables, however, are angry, frustrated, rude, despairing, depressed, stressed, thin, emaciated and wasting away. The silverware in hell is about four feet long and can only be picked up at one end. Thus, all these folks, who are interested only in feeding themselves, are unable to do so, are unable to manage a four-foot utensil in such a way they can bring the other end to their own mouth.

They leave hell and then go to visit heaven.

It turns out that heaven, surprisingly enough, is also a huge banquet room, with tables full of all the food and drink you could possibly want. The folks in heaven are joyful, happy, content, engaged, and manifest a healthy sense of well-being. The silverware is exactly the same as in hell, four feet long and can only be picked up at one end. The difference? Here, in heaven, the people are reaching across the table and feeding each other.

In every social system, in every work environment, everyone, yes, everyone, makes a contribution overtly or covertly, actively or passively, consciously or unconsciously and, most importantly, for the "good of the order" or, conversely, for the "ill of the organization" - but everyone, i.e., you, contributes one way or another.

What you believe about yourself, how you see others, and what you believe about others, contribute to whether you are creating heaven or hell in your workplace in some way, shape or form.

How do you experience life in your organization (or, if you dare, in your family, or relationship)?
So, is your life at work centered on feeding yourself?

Consider:

Is your life at work "all about me?" Are your relationships at work built around a "What's in it for me?" motive? Are you a bully, gossip or blamer - do you need to coerce, dominate, control and be authoritative? Are folks expendable in your "take no prisoners" approach to project management or meeting deadlines? Do you hoard information? Are you consistently critical of others' behaviors? Are your sole reasons for working built around promotions, raises, corner offices and bonuses? Are you a workaholic? Do you sacrifice integrity, ethics and morals for the sake of money or prestige? Do you show favoritism? Do you treat others as "stupid?" Do you blow off others' requests, emails, and questions? Do you shun accountability for your actions and behaviors? Do you focus only on your own immediate tasks and responsibilities? Do you avoid risk-taking and conflict? Do you exhibit bias or prejudice? Are you distrustful, disrespectful and uncooperative? Do you have hidden agendas; are you secretive? Do you make more statements than you ask questions? Do you engage in irrational thinking and emotional reactivity? Are you inflexible, selfish, arrogant and egotistical?

Or, is your life at work centered on feeding others?

Consider:

Do you encourage and inspire the folks you work with? Do you live in integrity and authenticity at work? Do folks regard you as decent, honest and trustworthy? Do you assume accountability for your actions, behaviors and mistakes? Do you think more about supporting others than about what's wrong with others? Do you treat others with decency and respect? Do you feel everyone has a right to a seat at the table? Are listening and coaching hallmarks of your leadership or management style? Do you show confidence in your direct reports? Do you exhibit empathy and concern for others' well being? Are you energetic, upbeat, enthusiastic and optimistic? Do you encourage others to experience work-life balance? Are you self-aware and master of your emotions? Do you take time for self-reflection and encourage others to do so as well? Do you lead and manage with your heart as well as your head? Do you believe in yourself? Do you live your organization's values? Do you encourage others to contribute their thoughts, ideas and wisdom? Do you treat others like adults? Do you engage in open and honest communication, and give honest and timely feedback? Do you praise in public and deal privately with problems? Are you fair in your dealings with others? Do you act as a facilitator and guide? Are you an advocate for others? Are you humble? Do you initiate conversations and then make an effort to understand before being understood? Are you comfortable with conflict? Are you aware of your own limitations? Do you understand the challenges folks are facing and what frustrates them? Do you encourage collaboration? Do you encourage information sharing? Do you point out folks' strengths? Do you honor your commitments and keep your promises?

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

Are you contributing to your own or your colleagues' experience of hell in your workplace? If so, what story or stories do you make up to rationalize/justify your attitudes and actions to allow this to happen?

Are you contributing to your own or your colleagues' experience of heaven in your workplace? What attitudes and actions support your contribution?
---
ABOUT THE AUTHOR---
Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching and counseling. With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit, Peter's "whole person" coaching approach supports deep and sustainable change and transformation.

Peter facilitates and guides leaders and managers, individuals in their personal and work life, partners and couples, groups and teams to move to new levels of self-awareness, enhancing their ability to show up authentically and with a heightened sense of well be-ing, inner harmony and interpersonal effectiveness as they live their lives at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

Peter is a professional speaker and published author. For more information: http://www.spiritheart.net , or mailto:pvajda@spiritheart.net pvajda@spiritheart.net , or phone 770.804.9125.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D http://EzineArticles.com/?Heaven-and-Hell---Which-Are-You-Creating-at-Work?&id=1246961

Be a Nobody Peter Vajda, Ph.D

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:52:00 +0000

Credentials are a fact of life - degrees, certificates, diplomas, titles, qualifications, and real or symbolic badges of one kind or another. Credentials have their place in life, and in life at work. Credentials support us to feel confident, and support others to feel confident in us. Credentials allow us to assume responsibility and accountability, and support others choices to permit us to lead, manage or supervise. Credentials communicate education and experience and support others to rely on our expertise.

Where credentials get in the way is when one becomes preoccupied, even obsessed, with their credential. Meaning?

Simply, these folks are their credential. Their identity is birthed from their credential. They feel like a somebody as a function of their credential. These folks take their credential out of context and allow it to become bigger than life itself. These are the folks at work, at home and at play, who can't get out of the way of, separate from, their credential. They wear it like a cloak. It's their brand.

When folks are obsessed with their credential, when they are their credential, they are always on in formal meetings, in informal workplace gatherings, in water cooler conversations, with clients and other stakeholders, in outside-of-work social situations, even when shopping at the local retailer - their conversations and their interactions are driven by their need for recognition, for acknowledgment and to feel emotionally secure, to be seen as somebody. And, for this "somebody," its all about "do you know who I am?", that is, "do you recognize my credential that is me?" Often consciously, more often unconsciously.

There's an intellectual component to the need to be somebody being - cognitively recognized as important, knowledgeable, educated, having position, power, status or privilege and there's an emotional component to the need to be somebody - the sensate, physiological feeling of being "held" and seen. When either of these is lacking, the individual experiences a sense of being a nobody, for them, a fate equal to death - in actuality, unbeknownst to them, their ego death. They feel they don't exist. They have no value or worth. They feel deficient; they have no identity. They're not somebody. The psychopaths and narcissists who happen to live and work in just about every workplace, are extremely obsessed with the need and want to be somebody (even at play and at home). Their credential is the story line of their life, a statement about "who I am," a somebody.

To these folks, the response to the question, "What do you do?" is an "I am" statement. A be-ing, not a do-ing. Why? Because they are their credential - an announcement of "who I am."
The credentialed love the limelight, to be the center of attention and the life of the party. Being at the center feeds their ego, and nourishes, not their sense of pride ( a good thing), but hubris, pride bordering on obsession. How often when one of these folks feels they are not heard or seen, do they quickly react with a rough or unkind word, inappropriate action or reaction that communicates: "Do you know who I am!!!!!?: "Can't you see' me!!!!?" "What's wrong with you!!!?"

Such reactivity is the downside of identifying with one's credential. The sadness of it all is when one of these folks is not seen and heard their emotional and physiological response, underneath it all, is one of anger fueled by sadness, and loneliness. Like the young child who is wet, and not diapered, or hungry and not fed. Feeling unseen, unacknowledged and ignored, these folks, now as adults, are really reaching out to be seen and acknowledged - "emotionally wet and hungry," wanting attention, not for diapers or food, rather, to be seen, heard, i.e., recognized as "somebody.

So, what would it be like to consciously choose to be a nobody, to explore and be curious about what we see about ourselves if we didn't need to be somebody? That is, to be a nobody and show up authentically without the crutch of the credential?
What would it feel like if we went through an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime, without needing to be somebody? Just showing up as who I am right here and right now, authentically?

Being authentic in our life at work means, simply, I am me. Not, I am my job or I am my credential. Just me. What might that look like, feel like?
Well, it might look like we own our mistakes. Or, we don't become "too big for our britches." Or, blame others for errors. Or, come across as arrogant, holier-than-thou, and super(wo)man. We shed the cloak of fakeness, phoniness and pretending. We allow ourselves to say, I don't know. or "What do you think?" Or allow our embarrassment, our shyness, our vulnerability.

As a nobody, we learn to become more interested in others. We let go of our ego. We are inclusive in thought, word and deed. We are open and accepting. We operate with the notion that I am one of you. and "We are in this together for our mutual good." We seek to understand before being understood. We stand back, inquire, observe and listen. We walk in others shoes. We let go of power, status, title, and qualifications. We move away from "center stage" to "stage right," maybe even move to being "behind the scenes." We allow it to be OK to not need to be the expert. We become servant rather than master. We become flexible rather than rigid. We come from our heart in addition to our head. We become less important rather than self-important. In essence, we add a spiritual component to "who I am" and "how I am" at work. In a way, we become invisible. We get out of own way. We become quieter - more self-reflective, more self-observant. In a word, humble.

Humility, and being a "nobody," means looking up at the vast, vast Universe and knowing...I am not the center of it...regardless of my credentials.

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

· Do you rely on your credentials to be seen as "somebody?" Do you ever let credentials, yours or others', get in the way of your relationships?

· Are you ever jealous of others' credentials?

· Do you ever feel like a "nobody", or deficient, because you lack a certain credential?

· What would a next credential "get you?" Are you a "nobody" without it?

· Do you use your credential to behave like a "know-it-all" or an expert?

· Do you ever use your credentials to mask weakness or irresponsibility?

· Do you keep your credentials in a proper perspective?

· Do credentials line your walls? If so, why?

· When folks ask, "What do you do?", how do you respond? With a "do-ing" or a "be-ing?"

· Who would you be without one or more of your credentials? Would you feel like you're the same person?

· What would it be like to practice being a "nobody" next week, in thought, word and deed?

· Do you always need to be "on"? If so, why?

· Are status and title important to you? If so, why? · How do you practice humility in your life at work (at home and at play)?

· When do you feel like a "nobody" and a "somebody"?

· How often do you feel you show up authentically? Honestly. Is that OK?

(c) 2008, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. and SpiritHeart. All rights in all media reserved.

---ABOUT THE AUTHOR---
Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching, counseling and facilitating. With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit - that is, Essential Well BE-ing - Peter's approach focuses on personal, business, relational and spiritual coaching. He is a professional speaker and published author. For more information contact: http://www.spiritheart.net/ or [mailto:pvajda@spiritheart.net]pvajda@spiritheart.net or phone 770.804.9125
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D http://EzineArticles.com/?Be-a-Nobody&id=988027

Creating Balance - Balancing Our Yin & Yang Energy - Creating Balance The Feminine Revolution In Men By Marc Lerner

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Fri, 30 May 2008 00:03:00 +0000

The famous yin-yang symbol represents a complete person. The yin is the feminine and the yang is the masculine qualities, when balanced creates a complete person. In the Feminine Revolution women are developing the yang within them and manifesting. That makes a woman a complete person which qualifies them to participate in society equal with men.

Now to complete the Feminine Revolution men have to become whole people by developing the yin within them selves. Unfortunately when men think of developing feminine qualities they immediately translate it into a sexual context. And resist because they relate it to becoming gay.
Adding yin in a spiritual context balances the yang and makes them a whole person, like the ladies mentioned above. Unfortunately we live in a sexual context to everything. A spiritual perspective is a path where you complete yourself as you approach an Ultimate Power. .. both men and women have to do that.

When two complete people come together they can share a love that isn't dependant only on the other person; but their Ultimate connection is included. How ever you mentally define Ultimate, it means the reality that exists beyond your thinking mind and can not be limited to a belief system.

A society that has people who value the whole person, a balance yin-yang combination within every person, is a spiritually balanced society. Spiritual without the limitations created by religion; manifests beyond personal limitations. This would have profound affect on how that society dealt with health issues, relationship issues, and education.

The whole person is in-dependant and needs to find how to connect to the Wisdom of their Body instead of just relying on thinking. That is a natural result of a balanced yin-yang relationship and has profound affects on the quality of life and how one manifest in society.

Enter a Tele-seminar to learn how to connect to the Wisdom of your Body. Go to http://lifeskillsinc.com/ to enroll in a Tele-seminar. Learn to develop this natural wisdom within everyone. Be complete & manifest at your potential in health and every aspect of life. Learn the skills needed to go beyond just thinking and intellect and connect to the Wisdom of your Body at your Center where you have powerful inner resources. Going beyond your thoughts requires what I call life skills that may have been compromised as you grew up. These skills still exist within you but may have to be fine tuned to be supportive.

This Tele-seminar meets once a week for a month and develops 4 life skills; a positive self image, self trust a way of avoiding negative thinking and how to connect to your Center immediately. These skills take you beyond thinking and connect you to the Wisdom of your Body. (c) Marc Lerner 2008

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marc_Lerner http://EzineArticles.com/?Creating-Balance---Balancing-Our-Yin-and-Yang-Energy---Creating-Balance-The-Feminine-Revolution-In-Men&id=1203036

Understanding Yourself by Janice L Smith

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Tue, 20 May 2008 16:01:00 +0000

How much time do you put in, just being with yourself?

With our busy schedules it is often difficult to find anytime for ones self. To truly understand who we are, we need to take time to get to know ourselves on a new level.

Most of us have heard of the idea of meditating or journaling, but why take the time to do them? One of the main benefits of meditating or journaling is a decrease in stress. Learning to take time for ourselves lets our inner self know that we are important in our lives. There is nothing worse than feeling unimportant in someone's life. Our inner self is no different than being in relationship with someone in the outside world.

We are very complex beings with many layers to who we are, in taking time to be with ourselves, we can learn so much more about what is happening inside ourselves. As our inner world, creates our outer world, learning more about our inner world becomes very important.One must learn to be quiet in order to listen to what the inside self has to say. It is not always easy to understand this part of ourselves. One must be patient in order to befriend the inner self. After many years of neglect the inner self does not necessarily step right up to the plate because you have decided to be visit suddenly.

It is like making a new friend outside of yourself, if you don't spend time getting to know them, you will not have a very good friendship.

Your inner self is like this, most people don't now a great deal about their inner selves, for they have not taken time to get to know this part of themselves.

• To begin I would recommend that you make meditation and journaling a daily practice till it becomes a habit. Start with 5 or 10 minutes a day, if that is all you can find time for, then increase it, by increments up to 1 hour. Play soft music, light candles, whatever feels good. This is a special time for you. Honor yourself in this time. Be quiet and listen. If your mind is really cluttered and you can't get it to quiet, pay attention to your breathing, then imagine you have a basket beside you. Dump all the chatter and thoughts into this basket and tell your brain you will pick it up again when you are finished.

• The important part is consistency. It is better to do 5 minutes daily rather than 20 minutes once a week. The brain is very smart and knows if you don't truly commit to it, the brain just needs to be patient and you will give up this silly idea.

• Create a daily practice, be committed to getting to know yourself, be curious about what you might discover, treat it as a new friendship with a person you truly like and want to spend time with and get to know.

• You are valuable and worthwhile getting to know!

Janice Smith
Empowerment Coach
604-921-2882

Author Era of the Rebel, Embracing Your Individuality http://www.eraoftherebel.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Janice_L_Smith http://EzineArticles.com/?Understanding-Yourself&id=1174662

What Do My Dreams Mean? How To Interpret Them by Bryan Burbank

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Sun, 11 May 2008 17:29:00 +0000

To interpret your dreams it is important to learn what the meaning of those dreams are and how they affect your life and the way you live. The act of dreaming itself can be dated back to ancient times were they thought that dreaming was considered the supernatural communication, divine intervention, their message could be unraveled by those people with certain powers. Today most information you find about Dream Interpretation is usually found in a psychology book.

Dreams are thought to be part of the world of the unconscious mind. When dreaming, the unconscious mind has access to all of your fears, desires, and inhibitions, and randomly weaves dreams that show you pictures, sounds, feelings and scents. It is believed that dreams give us important information about ourselves and those close to us.

Often dreams are about conflicts, and by focusing on your dreams over a period of time, you will find that your dreams may be offering solutions about any troubled relationships you are experiencing. Place a sprig of Rosemary or Thyme under your pillow to make sure that you will not have nightmares.

You can use a good sized journal and keep a record of the dreams you have, particularly if you are experiencing an unhappy or lonely time. After a week, reread your entries and see if a consistent theme is emerging. Learn from your dreams. You can also encourage your dreams to give you information on a specific topic. For Example: Recite the following three times just before you fall asleep and see if you get a sign of who your lover will be.

Also, you can try placing a four-leafed clover under your pillow before you go to sleep. It is through this, that you will dream of your soul mate.

For more information on What do my Dreams Mean and How to Interpret Them go to: http://www.elovemagic.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bryan_Burbank http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Do-My-Dreams-Mean?--How-To-Interpret-Them&id=942960

How To Create Your Own Luck by Ryan Kiew

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:03:00 +0000

Are you feeling down on your luck, and nothing seems to be going good for you? Are you waiting for opportunities to knock, but fortune always seem to elude you? Stop fretting on your misfortune, shake off those negative thoughts and create your own luck!

Everyday we make hundreds of decisions from the time we wake up to the time we sleep. Some decisions are made consciously while others are made subconsciously as a result of habits that we've picked up since young. From every decision we make, there is an outcome which may turn out to be negative or positive, but the important lesson to learn is not to attribute it to luck(whether good or bad).

When results turn out favorable, you may give all the credit to yourself for having make such good decisions but what happens when the outcome doesn't turn out desirable? For most people, the failure is blamed on other people or circumstances that is outside of their control. The last person they will blame is them self! The inability to take responsibility for your own action and its consequence is the most significant factor leading to failure. Don't blame it on bad luck!

"Chance favors the prepared mind"
- Louis Pasteur

Sometimes, we are envious or even jealous of the excellent results of other people. Why do some people have all the luck but not you? The fact is, people are not luckier than you, but rather more prepared than you to accept opportunities when it comes knocking. Rather than wait for fate to drop success into their hands, the so called "luckier" people pro actively seek out chances for themselves to excel in by taking action(such as taking courses to improve their skillset, network with more people, set goals and objectives etc). Therefore, by expanding their peripheral vision for opportunities, they are more than ready to catch them when they come within their sight while someone less prepared might have missed it completely.

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."
- Helen Keller

We begin each day with the the opportunity to make many decisions. When something bad happens, you can choose to be a victim or learn from the mistakes. Are you busier finding fault or improving your chances for finding the right opportunities? Are you still looking at the closed door? We find our own luck!

More tips on how you can http://successbreakthrough.blogspot.com/ Achieve the Breakthrough Success that you Need!

My Personal Blog is at http://www.prospectinglife.com/ Prospecting LIFE.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ryan_Kiew http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Create-Your-Own-Luck&id=1152106

The Law of Opportunity by Jesse Sherer

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:32:00 +0000

"When you are unconditionally ready for something, it WILL make its appearance known."

Pablo De Leon - Revision of famous saying
Do the Opportunities that present themselves in our lives do so out of pure chance, or do they adhere to immutable law? Why does opportunity seem to favor some individuals and flee from others? The answer to these questions lies within a concept myself and friend Pablo De Leon have described as the Law of Opportunity.

Interestingly the great opportunities in our lives seem to arise out of thin air. Think back to a time when something significant happened in your life. Imagine the people, circumstances, and ideas that came together to create this opportunity. Think of how each one of those elements must have been cultivating for some time to create the necessary fundamental structure necessary for the opportunity. These seemly random forces converging together may seem to have occurred out of pure chance. However, a deeper inspection reveals that these events have not happened on pure accident but rather by the rising of a collective and powerful consciousness.

You may have heard of the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction basically states that our dominating thoughts create our destiny. The law of attraction operates on a personal level. Only you can control your own thoughts. Let us imagine two people are seeking different results contradictory to one another. Let's say for example I claim a piece of land and want to construct an apartment building there. Another person with equal claim to the piece of land and equal amount of desire wishes to build a park. How then can the law of attraction bring about the desired result for both people? The law of opportunity finds the answer to the question.

All opportunity comes from the Infinite Source of Power and Intelligence the grand designer of the universe and the only creative energy in the universe. The law of opportunity does not make the law of attraction obsolete, but rather connects the web of time, attraction, the individual, and the community. We cannot create opportunity, but we can align ourselves to be ready for the opportunity. Opportunity will readily make it self- available to the one whom is unconditionally ready for it.

How then do we make ourselves ready for opportunities to be handed to us? To unconditionally ready for a thing implies two distinct properties.

1. Intent: Along the lines of the law of attraction we must intend for this opportunity to manifest.

2. Awareness: We must be completely aware of our own Being and connection with everything else. Awareness of this fact will bring about opportunity we may have not known existed. In the realm of Being, opportunities are spontaneously created and anything is possible.
When these two properties are combined through conscious living, you will align yourself with law of opportunity. The act of doing this will create opportunities around every corner. It will allow you to see the interconnectedness of people, objects, and events.

Jesse Sherer is an entrepreneur and specializes in helping others achieve their goals and dreams. Read other articles about entrepreneurism, and self-improvement http://www.jmsherer.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jesse_Sherer http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Law-of-Opportunity&id=1145590

Living With Opposites by Peter Vajda, Ph.D

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:09:00 +0000

One of the qualities of a "mature individual" (not chronologically mature, but emotionally, psychologically and spiritually) is the ability to hold in consciousness, and reflect upon, polarities at the same time, e.g., "light and dark" together. Many refer to this state as enlightening - being in a state where one does not have to, or choose to, opt for one over the other and can entertain both polarities at the same time, without judgment, and with curiosity.

At work, at home and at play, we live in a world of duality: love/fear, right/wrong, negative/positive, doing/being, sickness/health, comfort/risk, inner/outer, self/others, powerful/powerless, safe/unsafe, etc.

For many at work, in particular, living with duality results in stress, overwhelm, and tension on a daily basis. Consider the tension some experience as they move back and forth on a continuum between: under budget/over budget, team cooperation/team competition; employees who are continuous learners/employees who are on "cruise control"; open and honest communication/hoarding information, secrecy and gossiping; bosses who are supportive, servant leaders, compassionate and nurturing/bosses who are bullies and overbearing; meaningful work/dull, boring and routine work; latest software that fosters effectiveness/legacy software that foster ineffectiveness; efficient processes and procedures/bureaucratic processes and red tape; integrity, honesty and transparency/phoniness, dishonesty and duplicity...the list of such continuums is endless.

Stress, overwhelm, upset, resistance, resentment and regret surface when we want to experience only one end of the continuum and reject the other. Many live their lives at work (and at home and play) believing that one side is good or right and the other is bad or wrong. In the end, much of their pain and suffering (mental, physical, emotional, social and psychological) results. When they view, and live life in, their world from this "right/wrong", "good/bad" mindset or world view, all they create for themselves is continuous pain and suffering in some way, shape or form.

When we put all our attention, and intention, on one end of any continuum of opposites, (it doesn't matter which end), our energy is out of balance. Accepting only one side of a duality and rejecting the other does not lead us to wholeness.

IMPORTANT: This notion is NOT to suggest that one "needs to engage in and behave" according to one end of a continuum that one views as "negative, unethical, out of integrity, or self-sabotaging", etc. IT IS about asking one's self why this other end of the continuum is in one's life experience, however. IT IS about asking one's self "Why is this behavior, event, person or circumstance in my life?"

In other words, asking one's self the all-important and powerful question, "Why is this experience happening FOR me?" ( instead of TO me, which simply allows one to engage in a reactive, victim consciousness and blaming mentality). Exploring that "other end" of the continuum from this deeper "FOR me" perspective can move one to a level of inquiry and self-reflection that takes into account one's values, motives, life purpose, assumptions, preconceptions, etc., and can lead one to conscious personal and professional growth and maturation by looking at how one chooses to respond to the person, event or behavior that is "dark, bad, or wrong..." Such an exploration can serve to support us to clarify our own values, and ways of thinking, be-ing and do-ing.

For example, "Why do I choose to go along with unethical and illegal practices in my workplace?" Why do I choose to go along with bullying bosses and gossiping that is destroying morale?" "Why do I choose not to speak up about how I can improve processes and procedures?" "Why do I choose to accuse another of being fake and phony?"; "Why do I chose to feel threatened, play small, be invisible and not allow my voice?" "Why do I choose to allow others to hoard information?" "Why do I choose to allow expenditures that are unnecessary?" "Why do I choose to allow others to be disengaged?" "Why do I choose not to ask others be the change they want to see in others?" In essence, why do choose to point to so many others as being "wrong" or "bad?"

Many folks want to experience life from the "good" side of the continuum only or try to live life with a "positive mental attitude". The result for these many is more often that not an experience of struggle, frustration, resentment, and despair. Why? Because they are out of balance. There is no one end to a continuum and denying the other end is an exercise in futility. In our world of duality, any effort to focus all attention on the "light" only serves to increase the power of the "darkness".

We cannot live a life of balance by clinging to just one side.

So what is the solution? How do we work with the tension of the two ends of the continuum? How do we balance or resolve them?

The reality is that the contrast is important to experience. The contrast of the opposites gives each end its identity. We can't know "hot" unless we also know "cold", "dark" unless we experience "light", "good" unless we experience "evil." The two ends need each other to make sense. Like the back and forth swing of a pendulum, our experience of duality must include both the positives and negatives, like love and fear, health and disease, joy and grief. We can't swing in just one direction. To grow in consciousness and self-awareness, we must honor the integrity of both parts and seek the middle, higher path of experience and expression.

A next step is to find a new perspective that allows one to understand (not agree with, necessarily), acknowledge and accept both extremes at once. From this perspective, we can see the role that both ends play, if we choose to. If we can let go of our mind's need to accept one and reject the other, and the attendant opinions, assumptions, and judgments we have, (the ones we use to see the other as "bad" and "wrong"), we're more able to experience life as it is as opposed to what we want (or don't want) it to be.

From this place, when we bring together two opposites into a higher understanding, we grow in consciousness, self-awareness, maturity and the ability to self-reflect. We learn to inquire into and explore why these elements are in our life, right here and right now (since there is no such thing as "circumstance") and what these elements can teach us about our self, our values, our life, our choices.

We can inquire into these elements, the "other end", and discover what life's lessons they present FOR us. The result is learning how to move through the not-so-pleasant vicissitudes of life, and growing our self in the process, as opposed to living a life of overwhelm, stress and tension, always feeling like a victim, constantly blaming, finding fault, fearing, nagging, moaning, rejecting and denying.

The pearl in the oyster cannot arise without the grain of sand that serves as an irritant which spurs its growth. No irritant, no pearl. One may perceive the person or event that that appears at the other end of a continuum as an irritant (i.e., bad, wrong, etc.) The important questions are (1) "Why?" and (2) "How is(are) it/she/they supporting me to see more about my self through my reactivity, thus enhancing my growth?"
So, some questions for self-reflection are:

What bothers you at work? Why? Why do you think this "irritant" is in your life right now? How are you choosing to deal with this irritant?
Why do you think reasonable, rational and decent people do things that annoy you? (Or, do you feel everyone who annoys you is unreasonable, irrational and not decent?")

What are the real issues that cause you to react to the end of the continuum that you see as "bad" or wrong?" Why do you think these people, events or circumstances are in your life?" To simply allow you to get mad, angry and reactive? If there were a deeper purpose, what would it be?

When you see the other end of the continuum as "the problem", that thought of yours alone is the problem. What do think about that?

Do you normally view the world, and the people in it, from a "right/wrong", "good/bad" perspective? If so, why? What would your colleagues and friends say?
When was the last time you admitted to being "wrong?"
Does ambiguity or conflict bother you? If so, why?

Would you consider yourself to be a tolerant person? Would your colleagues and friends agree? Think of a situation or a person where you can't see the good, the truth or the beauty. What would you have to do or perceive to see the truth or beauty of this person or situation? It is useless to discuss harmony in our world at work, without first creating harmony in ourselves. Would you agree?

What in your life do you resist looking at? Does this cause you tension? What would happen if you did look and allowed the tension to be there at the same time?

When you accept the vicissitudes and challenges in your life at work (at home, at play), as part of life, do you experience more or less of sense of well-be-ing? Why?

---ABOUT THE AUTHOR---
Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching, counseling and facilitating.

With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit - that is, Essential Well BE-ing - Peter's approach focuses on personal, business, relational and spiritual coaching. He is a professional speaker and published author. For more information contact: http://www.spiritheart.net/ or mailto:pvajda@spiritheart.net pvajda@spiritheart.net or phone 770.804.9125

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D http://EzineArticles.com/?Living-With-Opposites&id=1135117

Motivation - 7 Tips To Keep Your Motivation Fire Burning! by Jeanne May

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:53:00 +0000

Motivation is an essential part of everything we do ... it governs whether or not we will successfully achieve our goals and dreams throughout life.

Motivation is our desire or level of energy to do something. Our motivation comes from within us, it is our drive based on our desire to achieve something, to do something, or to become something. Motivation also comes from outside us e.g. other people, events, actions of others.
Motivation isn't a constant -- it's normal to experience fluctuations in our motivation level at different times... sometimes our motivation is strong and at other times it's hard to find!

When our motivation is strong, we complete tasks easily, successfully achieve our goals... we feel more positive about ourselves and what we are doing. Everything feels good.
When we struggle to find our motivation, things become more difficult... tasks take longer to complete, we find ourselves easily procrastinating, our confidence and self belief takes a hammering... our energy and vibration levels are low!

Although we can be motivated by others or external events, it is the motivation that comes with in us that really makes the difference in being successful.

There are many things we can do to keep our motivation going... to give ourselves a much-needed boost... to keep our motivational fire from going out:

set a goal that's important and meaningful for you... a goal that will improve your life... a goal that excites you just thinking about it. Outline the necessary steps you need to take to achieve your goal and keep on that path! The more detailed your goal, the easier it is to keep motivated and on track if your motivation has taken a vacation, you feel lethargic and unable to get anything done, you are aware you're procrastinating... set yourself a time limit to achieve something, to do something and stick with it until you have it completed. Make this a short time period e.g. 10 minutes, and stick with that task for the entire time.

It's important to set small time periods for yourself when experiencing low motivation read motivating books -- read autobiographies of people you admire, look up to, people who have succeeded in some area of life. There are many motivational writers and motivational books are easily found on the net, library or bookshops listen to motivating audios -- Some of my favourites include: Bob Proctor, Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield... download your favourites onto your IPod or burn a CD... and listen to them in the car while you're driving, doing exercises, while you're waiting on queues or for appointments... any time you have spare, play your motivational audio! write out a whole lot of motivational quotes... and put them throughout your home, workplace, and on your computer.

When you find your motivation is low, read the quotes mix and socialise with people who themselves are motivated. It's important to surround yourself with people you find motivating... when you do, your energy and vibrational level increases and this gives you the extra charge you need to achieve what you desire learn more information or new skills on subjects that inspire you -- when you learn more about subjects you find enjoyable and inspiring, your motivation increases and you become more confident and self-reliant

Do you have difficulties at times getting motivated?
Jeanne May of http://www.aspirationsplus.com/ Aspirations Plus, works with spiritually minded people providing them information, inspiration, guidance and support to achieve their goals and dreams. I invite you to join my

http://www.aspirationsplus.com/4wkementprom.html 4 Week E-Mail Mentoring Program to get you going from where you are now in your relationships, health, finances, career and happiness to where you want to be...

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeanne_May http://EzineArticles.com/?Motivation---7-Tips-To-Keep-Your-Motivation-Fire-Burning!&id=1138232

The Hypnotized Brain - Self Esteem And Negative Thinking by Michael McGrath

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 19:14:00 +0000

Are you dogged by nagging thoughts of self doubt? Does negative thinking form a part of your life and hinder your ability to gain what you want? Every one of us have thoughts of negativity inclusing you. Did you know that these feelings of unworthiness and these negative thoughts stop you from living life on your terms?

If you are a person who finds it hard to get through the day without experiencing negative thoughts and emotions that cripple your ability to interact and make sound clear decisions then you know how harmful allowing these negatives to remain can be.

It is proable though that you are just an average person who is neither very positive nor very negative. You are most likely to be the type of person who feels neither good nor bad most of the time yet can get bogged down in negativity as the world and circumstances push against you.
The purpose of this article is to show you that you can eliminate these negative from your life and free your mind so that you can enjoy every moment and make decisions that are beneficial to your chosen life path without the hindrance of negative emotions and thoughts which usually guide you.

It is a great misconception amongst the majority of people that we have no control over our thoughts and emotions. They believe that negative thoughts and stressful emotions are a normal part of life. However, this could not be further from the truth.
Your brain is just like a computer. It needs software to run it and the software that it uses comes in the form of beliefs. Beliefs are just a collection of thoughts grouped together to form a picture of yourself and the world.

There are programs which are hot-wired in your brain designed to keep you safe like your fear of sudden bangs for example., however most of the programming that you have was amassed over your lifetime. There are many programs that your mind runs which are beneficial to you and keep you safe - you will automatically pull your hand away when it is placed near fire for instance. However, many of these programs are extremely negative and to the detriment of your success and happiness. You may have a mental program that stops you from trying different things. Perhaps you gained this program when you were younger and you were around very negative people who belittled you efforts and therefore you found it easier to not try. This program would have served you well while you were young and in that environment. However, as an adult such a program would severely limit your ability to move on in life and enjoy new experiences.

When you begin to identify and then remove the negative programming from your mind you will experience rewards in your life that you never dreamed were possible. In addition the freedom you experience in your own mind and body will allow you to enjoy each moment and be more present in the moment without the internal negative dialogue that has followed you around to this point.

The main reason behind negative thoughts lies in your self-esteem. Low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth lead to self doubt and fear. The key to removing all negativity from your life lies in your ability to love yourself and others unconditionally. Learning to improve your self-esteem is the one skill that you need to create success in any and all areas of your life. Disapproving of yourself and withholding self-approval is the main reason behind all your failure.

When you experience self doubt or fear you can always trace the reason back to a lack of self-worth. Re-read the last sentence then give it some real thought. Can you not see how true it is!
If you analyse all your negative thoughts and trace them back to their roots you will find that they lie in a belief that you are not good enough or unworthy in some way. By tacking the problem of negative thinking and negative emotions at their root ' low self-esteem ' you can lessen their effect at worst and totally eliminate them at best.

Begin today to forgive yourself for past mistakes and let-go of any regrets you may have. View your past as a path to the person you are today. In this way you can begin to become not only tolerant of your past but eventually you will become thankful for it. If you make a mistake in your life be gentle with yourself. Remove the habit of berating yourself. The world is filled with people who will do that for you, why should you be one them?

Practise forgiving yourself. Practise giving yourself approval ' it's just a decision. Decide now that you will no longer tolerate internal criticism. It is you that has your mind and it is you that thinks your thoughts. No-one else does it for you so therefore you have complete control over your mind and your thinking! Exercise that control today.

Recall all the wonderful things that you have done in life and congratulate yourself for the progress you have made. Many people don't make it as far as you have. Seek out tools to help you reprogram your mind for high self-esteem. Try hypnosis. You have been hypnotized into believing that you are unworthy of success and happiness so re-hypnotize yourself with the opposite.

With increased self esteem comes more self confidence and a deeper feeling of self worth. 80% of all communication is non-verbal so you will find that other people begin to react to you in a more positive way as you unconsciously project a better self image which reflects your feelings of self worth and confidence. You will also find your life begins to improve in ways you would not have thought possible. Try it, you may just be surprised!

Go to http://www.angelfire.com/wizard2/release/hypnosis.html Self Hypnosis and read our free reviews of the best Self Hypnosis products we tested. Find out what really works!
Alternatively you can visit http://hypnosis.personal-development.info Hypnosis where we have reviews of the best Hypnosis products we tested. We find out what works so you don't have to!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_McGrath http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Hypnotized-Brain---Self-Esteem-And-Negative-Thinking&id=1128645

Success with Positive Mentors by Anthony Hosking

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:24:00 +0000

You know the world is full of those people that will always knock what you try to do, I call them the dream stealers because that what they do. They seem to think they know better than you what is good or bad for you, instead of getting on with their own lives. But folks we all have our own lives to live and live it we must. For many years, in fact most of my life I have been attracted to positive people and have found my life has been better for it. I have never had a goal or a dream never come true for me, because I have never listened too the dream stealers. I have made is a point to always develop a burning desire to reach what I reach out for.

I have found it very beneficial to have a Mentor to guide me, an have found that by giving we also receive. I give lots of motivational talks live on the internet, but more than anything I love to help other realise there dreams as well. I do not sell anything but myself, that is my payment back to the universe for the blessing I have received in my own life. I am always very pleased to hear from anybody that need to a little helping hand. I feel that many people need a little push in the right direction.

Millions of people come onto the internet, with the intention of making money online, the truth is how many end up broke. This a very sad affair but it is a fact of life, I feel that if these people could have a mentor to guide them in the right direction. I would love to hear any feedback and just possibly I might be able to help who knows. This not a sales letter as I do not charge for my services, I give it freely.

Anthony Hosking (Mr Motivator) http://www.mentorscentral.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anthony_Hosking http://EzineArticles.com/?Success-with-Positive-Mentors&id=1115923

You Already Have Everything You Need by Melani Ward

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:33:00 +0000

Do you ever find yourself starting a sentence with "if only..."? Do you realize that just voicing those words, even if only in your head, can result in immediate negative energy in your body which then brings negative energy all around you?

That's because "if only" brings up feelings of lack and scarcity. What if instead you said "I have everything I need"? In fact, say it out loud...right now.

How did that feel? I bet it had a totally different impact on you energetically than even thinking about "if only". The fact is that most of us are already so rich in life. How much do you really need before you realize your cup is already full?

The simple truth is we have everything we need, many of us just don't see it.

One of the biggest obstacles that get in people's way is that they think they have to go "get" things before they will really have what they need. But, you already have it within you. You just have to find the way to bring it out of you. Trust me when I say you already have it!

What's truly magical is that as soon as you start to realize it, you will notice it everywhere and the level of gratitude that will fill your heart will be astounding. And, as you fill your heart with more gratitude of what is already within you, more than you ever imagined will begin to flow in.

This week practice saying "I have everything I need" every time you find yourself wanting or feeling like you are lacking something and then pretty soon you'll trust yourself enough to really believe it.

Copywriter and marketing coach for self-employed women entrepreneurs Melani Ward publishes "The Girl's Guide to Marketing" weekly ezine. If you're ready to attract more clients, have more fun and put a whole lot more money in your small business, get your FREE report and FREE e-book now at http://www.9keystosuccess.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Melani_Ward http://EzineArticles.com/?You-Already-Have-Everything-You-Need&id=1117170

Change Your Subconscious, Change Your Life! by Laura D Adams

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:19:00 +0000

It is truly amazing how hard some people are working in today's world.

Just the other day I spoke to a friend who spends two waking hours a day AWAY from work! Furthermore, the poor guy only sleeps 5 hours a night. I assumed, of course, that he loved what he was doing and he must be getting the results he was after. But I asked him anyway.
I was very surprised to find out that what he really wanted was to work less, and to live on the beach with his family. I was shocked to hear this because I knew that there was nothing that was keeping this man from living the life he wanted.

For the next thirty minutes I heard plenty of "story" (a kind word for excuses) about why his dream life was not possible for him. He had been working himself further and further away from what he really desired. So what keeps people from living the life of their dreams? The answer is very simple, ignorance.

Now before you (or my friend) think that I am referring to him as stupid, I'm not. In fact this particular man is one of the brightest people that I know. The ignorance that I refer to is the lack of knowledge of a fundamental principle. The principle is this: how the subconscious mind works and how it dictates the results that we are getting in our lives.

Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you tried to achieve something that there was some type of obstacle between you and the end game? Sometimes it seems that the harder we try, the further we get from our goal. This is the subconscious mind at work.

If your subconscious mind believes, for instance, that the world is a scarce place and that there is not enough for everyone, your results will be scarcity-based. Now before you get defensive and say, "but I really believe that the world is not scarce - yet I'm not tapping into the abundance!" realize that what you are really saying is "my CONSCIOUS mind believes the world is not scarce, yet I'm not tapping into the abundance."

It is very difficult for us to know what the subconscious mind believes. We can only guess what our subconscious believes based upon the results that we are currently getting in our lives. So no matter how hard we work, we will continue to get the same results.
What is important is not how hard we work, but what we work on. If we can change what the subconscious believes then we will begin to get different results!

This begs the question, "how do I change the underlying beliefs of my subconscious mind to assist me in getting what I desire?" There are several ways that one can communicate directly to the subconscious. Some of the most popular are hypnosis, meditation, psych-K, brainwave entrainment, affirmations, vision boards, visualization, and subliminal messages.

Remember, the subconscious mind is very powerful. It is the mind that remembers to breathe and make our heart beat. In order to get the results you desire, put the subconscious to work for you. Do not continue to let it work against you. This is truly working smarter, not harder - enjoy the beach!

How would you like to manifest your ideal life by tapping the power of YOUR subconscious mind? Revolutionary videos from Get The Dream combine an electronic Vision Board with Brainwave Entrainment technology. Put the Law of Attraction to work in your life with only 20 minutes per day! A FREE Sleep product is now available for instant download at http://www.getthedream.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Laura_D_Adams [http://ezinearticles.com/?Change-Your-Subconscious,-Change-Your-Life!&id=1115302 ]http://EzineArticles.com/?Change-Your-Subconscious,-Change-Your-Life!&id=1115302

Strategies for Success and Happiness - How to Defeat Procrastination by Deborah Coates

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:49:00 +0000

"The best way to get something done is to begin" - Author Unknown
There are lots of reasons people procrastinate. Therapists may say you fear failure, feel insecure, or are a great escape artist. Acting like an ostrich and burying your head in the sand, pretending what you need to do will just go away if you ignore it long enough prevents you from enjoying life completely.

If you have ever wanted to cure yourself of this nagging habit and find a remedy for getting things done in a timely fashion, the following technique will surprise you and give you the desired results. If you have never done this before, this is what's called visualization.

Visualize Completion

You will be amazed at how much you will achieve and the speed with which you will succeed when you see yourself going through the motions. This is a powerful tool. Your ability to reach a deep level of concentration depends on your ability to relax and keep your mind from distracting thoughts.

Put yourself in a comfortable position, sit in a chair or lie down with your eyes closed. Focus on relaxing all of your muscles, beginning with your toes all the way up to your face. Breathe naturally through your nose and as you exhale silently state a word or phrase to keep your mind from wandering off. This will make you relaxed and with practice every day you should be able to return quickly to this relaxed state.

Now that you're relaxed think about the task you want to complete and focus only on that. Visualize the tools you will need to gather or the people to whom you will need to speak to, to finish your task. Form mental images of yourself and walk yourself through all the steps necessary in vivid detail to complete whatever it is you are postponing. Take yourself down each mental path until you have reached the desired outcome and it is finished.

When you resume your activity you will find yourself doing exactly what you pictured in your mind's eye. Now treat yourself for a job well done. Congratulations, you are going down the right path toward conquering procrastination.

If you make a habit of visualizing yourself doing the things that you ordinarily put off, you'll be amazed at how much you can accomplish with no more procrastination.

For additional resources to help you achieve a richer life please visit: http://www.strategiesforsuccessandhappiness.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Deborah_Coates http://EzineArticles.com/?Strategies-for-Success-and-Happiness---How-to-Defeat-Procrastination&id=1111041

Law Of Attraction - Where To Start For Success by Charles Burke

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:01:00 +0000

To make a start toward success, you need two things.

First, you need to identify what's in your life now that you want to be rid of. Second, you need to know what you want to replace it with.

1. What you don't want -- that's where you are now.

2. What you do want -- that's where you want to be.

Once you have these two things clearly settled in your mind, you're ahead of the vast majority of the world. Just as an experiment, sometime, go around asking people what they want, or what they want to do with their life. You'll get "I don't know" 97 or 98 times out of a hundred.
However, if you're one of those who isn't quite sure what you want, don't despair. Discovering your desires isn't all that hard to do.

Let's start with where you are now. What is it about your current life that really irritates you? Not enough money? Too many bills? Health problems? No love life? Somebody bossing you around all the time?

Whatever it is that's making your life uncomfortable, I've got some good news. We're going to take those money problems or the love problems or the health problems, and we're going to find a positive use for them.

Instead of letting those problem always use YOU, you're going to learn you to get some positive use out of THEM for a change.

The way we do that is simple. Use your "don't wants" as a launching pad. Say something like "This is where I am, and I don't want to be here. I want to find my way to a better place."
If you know exactly how you want your life to improve, write it down. That's your target. If you're not sure yet, do this. Take the way your life is now, and describe your main problem, the one you want to be rid of. Then start changing the description.

Let's say your problem is a lack of respect from co-workers and family. Write out a description of the exact opposite condition, if somehow your problem were miraculously changed. If you're not accustomed to thinking in terms of goals and proactive change, this can be a shortcut to defining what you want.

For more information on how to shape your future, download the free PDF report "It's All Good Luck - Five No-Fail Tips for Turning Bad Luck into Good... Every Time" at http://www.more-luck.com/luckyreport/

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Using Your Creativity To Find Satisfaction In Life by Andrea Rose Lucas

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 03:19:00 +0000

You make your life happen

So many people live their lives as though it is something that just "happens" to them. This is very sad because they are unaware that they are creating their own life and so they live their lives by default usually ending up with disappointment, depression and fear. Every single person on the earth has the power to create their own lives. Using that power brings us the greatest satisfaction and happiness that life has to offer. One of the ways we create our own lives is to use our creativity. Our creativity can be expressed in many different ways. Some people express their creativity by writing stories or poetry. Other people express their creativity with artistic expressions ranging from painting or drawing to sculpting to sewing or other types of crafts. Still for other people their creativity is expressed through interior design, make-up artistry or hairdressing. There are countless ways a person can express their creativity and each one of them brings intense satisfaction, happiness and fulfillment to the persons who allow themselves to fully use the capacity for creativity that exists within them.

Designing your own life

In some cases a person can use their creativity to literally design their life the way they want it to be. They use all the power of their imagination to see themselves being successful in their relationships, their careers and even in their spiritual lives. As they create these realistic impressions in their minds they begin to receive inspirational thoughts on how to manifest their desires into reality. As they take action on the inspiration they receive, their lives begin to take the shape they had imagined in their minds. According to Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich", this is exactly how all great successes have ever been created. Even a person who doesn't consider themselves the "creative type" can use their hidden creativity to design a successful life for themselves and their families.

Developing your talents

Most people have a variety of talents that they can express their creativity with and become successful at. It is important to explore all of your talents and take the time to develop and perfect them as much as possible. If Rembrandt had spent all of his time working in a factory and then sat in front of a television set for hours each day after work, you would never have heard of him and the world would have been cheated out of some amazing works of art. Don't cheat yourself or the world by wasting your life away on unimportant things, take the time to develop your creativity and see where it leads you.
Summary

Your life is whatever you decide to make of it. Each person has their own unique talents and creative abilities that they can use to shape the outcome of their lives. Talents are not developed in front of a television screen, so it is important to use your time wisely and discover or hone your special creative skills and abilities. As you use your creativity wisely you will discover greater satisfaction in life.

Andrea R. Lucas is the leading expert in the area of Life-Scripts, the blueprints by which we all live our lives. She is the founder of the DYSALA Method, which identifies the seven steps necessary to change a negative Life-Script to a positive one, and to live the life of happiness and abundance you have always wanted. Andrea is the author of "7 Steps To Personal Fulfillment" and numerous articles on this fascinating subject.
www.7StepsToPersonalFulfillment.com and http://www.SevenSecretSteps.com

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Brain Training 101 by Steven Gillman

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 01:12:00 +0000

A little bit of brain training can go a long ways towards better thinking. There are easy techniques for better or more creative thinking, such as brainstorming or just getting a good night's sleep. The idea here, though, is to train your brain in new habits. It can take some work, but once good habits are established, there is little extra effort involved in your new higher-level of thought.

There are many brain training routines you can work with. Here are two to get you started.
Train Your Brain To Create Examples

Have you ever read something and only "almost" understood it? Often, this is because the author didn't use good examples, or perhaps not any at all. Suppose I tell you, "The reticular cortex is a part of the brain that discriminates among sensory inputs and stimuli to make you aware of those which are important." You might nod your head, especially if you've read about this. But your understanding may be a bit hazy.

It would be much clearer if I added, "For example, if you are looking for a business to buy, and you give some attention to that goal, you are essentially 'programing' the reticular activating system to bring anything relevant to your attention. Your eyes still look at the same scenery, and the same sounds enter your ears, but the non-essential is screened out, while the reticular cortex makes you notice the 'for sale' signs on stores or helps you 'tune into' conversations about business."

Now you understand better. A few more examples would probably help as well. If you want to really understand things, then, you need to have examples, and the simpler the better. If the speaker or author doesn't provide them, create your own. In fact, don't move on until you do.
Do this with your own ideas as well, whether you are explaining them to another person or just thinking to yourself. Make them as simple as you can, but not too simple. Think of several examples, as though you are preparing to explain the thought to a variety of different people. It could be argued that if you cannot give good examples, you don't fully understand an idea. Create examples until doing so becomes a habit, and you'll find that this kind of brain training leads to a better grasp of everything you learn.

Train Your Brain To Be More Self-Aware

Being self-aware may not seem so important to effective brainpower, but it is. When you know yourself better, you can avoid the usual effects of ego and emotion in your seemingly "rational" thinking. Or you can at least take them into account.

Watch yourself, especially as you explain things or argue, and you'll become aware that much of what we call reasoning is really rationalization. You'll also see how common it is to try to win an argument or make a point at the expense of digging deeper and understanding something better. This probably can't be completely overcome, but being aware of what your mind is doing makes it possible to "correct course" and think more rationally.

Observe yourself. As with other types of brain training, the goal here is to repeat this process until it becomes a habit. The self-awareness that results will prevent you from getting into a rut in your thinking. For example, if you are aware that you have a strong desire for certain beliefs to be true, you'll question whether you've lowered the standards of evidence for them. Then you can explore the alternative views more rationally.

Copyright Steve Gillman. For more on http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com Brain Training, and to get the Brain Power Newsletter and other free gifts, visit: http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com

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Transforming Stress - 5 Simple Tips To Help You Transform Stress by April Mims

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 15:30:00 +0000

Our lives are filled with stress. It is all around us, everywhere we look. There are deadlines to meet, unexpected traffic jams, overloaded schedules, and difficult people. The negative effects of stress have been well documented over time. They include high blood pressure, insomnia, irritability, and various other chronic conditions that are having a significant affect on society.

While there are many times that you are not able to control stressful situations, you can control how you react to them. The secret to transforming stress lies simply in how you deal with the situation. Here are 5 simple tips that can help you transform your stress and live a happier life.

1. Recognize what is causing the stress. Awareness is key here. When you recognize what is causing the stress, it allows you to figure out how to deal with it. By ignoring it, nothing will change and you will have to continue dealing with the stress.

2. Put fuel in your tank. Allowing yourself time to decompress and unwind is very important. This is the fuel that keeps you going. Eating right can help as can meditation, relaxation techniques, yoga, walking, and deep breathing exercises. Find what relaxes and reenergizes you and allow yourself to have a few minutes of personal time each day.

3. Examine your standards about the stressor. Are your standards too high? Are they realistic? It may be necessary to adjust your standards to reduce your stress. Be sure to set your standards at a realistic and achievable level.

4. Seek support. Find someone that can help you deal with the stressor in a healthy way. Talking about it or getting assistance can help reduce or eliminate the stress. Getting help can be as simple as talking to a friend. For more extreme levels of stress, a licensed counselor, therapist or life coach could help you find a healthy way of managing stress.

5. Create an action plan. Learn from the stressful situation and develop an action plan to deal with that situation when it arises again. This will help you manage your reaction to the situation in the future.

Although we can't control many of the stressful situations in our lives, we can control how we react to them. By transforming stress in this manner, we are better able to manage ourselves and keep our stress levels as low as possible. Take action this week and find your main sources of stress. Look for ways to adjust how you deal with those situations and see how much you can lower your stress. The positive benefits are worth the effort!

April Mims is a life and career coach specializing in work/life balance issues and life and career transitions. Her coaching practice is Nexus Coaching Partners. She is passionate about empowering clients to balance the demands of a successful career and a strong family life. April invites you to a complimentary 30-minute coaching session to see if coaching could benefit you.

To learn more or subscribe to The Nexus Connection newsletter, visit http://www.nexuscoachingpartners.com

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Live Better by Doing Less by Ingrid Bacci

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:59:00 +0000

There is a paradox in life. By consciously focusing on learning how to reduce tension or to do less, you can improve your health, develop better relationships, and experience greater success.
This involves focusing your attention on developing a deep sense of ease, and letting the results of that approach bring you abundant health, prosperity and joy. It also means letting go of physical and emotional pain, guilt, an excessive sense of obligation, a hard work approach to life, fear, anger, resentment, in short, all the physical experiences and mental attitudes that cloud our lives and that make life harder rather than easier, laden with struggle rather than joy.

Learning to let go of the ways we inadvertently and unconsciously contribute to our own pain is the key to finding radiant physical and emotional health, and material success.

There is a core lesson we are all here to learn, in the process of living on planet Earth. That lesson is the lesson of personal empowerment, on both physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels.

Learning personal empowerment is about learning not only that we are responsible for our own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual states, but also that we, and we alone, have all the resources within ourselves to create our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. The pursuit of effortless living is ultimately the pursuit of personal empowerment on all levels.
The ancients knew this well, and articulated it in the great spiritual traditions of the past. It is time for us to learn the same lesson. Let your inner state draw your outer reality. Focus on effortless living.

©2007 Ingrid Bacci Ph.D. All rights reserved.

Written by: Ingrid Bacci PhD, CST, an internationally recognized healer, bodyworker, author and teacher of self-empowerment. For free information and products on personal empowerment and on mind-body healing from chronic pain and stress, visit http://ingridbacci.com
For Ingrid's books, a) The Art of Effortless Living and b) Effortless Pain Relief, go to http://amazon.com

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How Can Intuition Help My Business? by Joan Marie Whelan

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:23:00 +0000

Some of today's brilliant movers and shakers can attribute strategic business intuition to their successes - and so can you! With little or no effort at all, our intuition can give us clues and positive inclinations as to what important steps to take in achieving both our personal and professional goals.

In a recent interview [1] conducted by CNN, computer giant, Bill Gates attributes much of his business success not alone to his innovative staff, but by trusting his intuition to make strategic business moves. If Bill Gates can achieve the financial freedom and continual business success by relying on intuition, can you imagine the potential that you too, can achieve by following through on your own innate wisdom?

Songwriter/Singer Jewel clearly defined her professional career by creating some of her unique chart-topping songs of today. More recently, her song, "Intuition," hit number five on pop charts. Her lyrics [2] reveal how she achieved pop-star status; especially in her third stanza where she sings, "Follow your heart, your intuition, it will lead you in the right direction..." Words have never been truer.

It is your thoughts and intuition, which often lead you to pursuing specific dreams and careers; this is also why it is so important that you heed your gut feeling when it tells you it's time to move forward in life. Remember, too, that intuition is merely your counsel - you must follow through by initiating the action to manifest your life dreams.

Whether your intuition comes to you through an "ah-a" moment; or you mind's eye gains an inspirational message through nature, an event, from your heart, or even a simple thought, it's time to listen and pay attention to it. Planning your destiny and fulfilling your professional benchmarks can definitely be achieved when you let your expert intuition be your guide to success.

Until we speak again, I am
Joan Marie, Your Intuition Expert
© Copyright - All Rights Reserved
How can Intuition help my Business?
By Joan Marie Whelan

\References:A one-on-one interview with Bill Gates; CNN.com/Sci-Tech archives.cnn.com/2002/TECH/industry/02/28/gates/index.htmlMP3 Lyrics - Intuitionmp3lyrics.org/j/jewel/intuition/

About the Author: Joan Marie Whelan, an internationally known http://www.intuitivespecialist.com/ intuitive specialist, business consultant, medium, and coach travels throughout the United States sharing her gifts and the

http://www.manifestationmethod.com/ Manifestation Method with solo-preneurs, professionals, small business owners, and large companies. Her much anticipated first book, Self- Discovery: The Nine Principles to Reveal Your Sacred Gifts will be published later this year. For more information about Joan Marie and her upcoming, exclusive events, please go to: http://www.joanmariewhelan.com www.joanmariewhelan.com

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25 Winning Principles for Self Development by Marenda Hughes

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:26:00 +0000

Considering no one is perfect it is fair to say that there is always room for improvement. We all have strengths, weaknesses, and areas in which we can improve. Successful happy people continuously seek growth and development opportunities because they know that improving self is a key factor to improving life. If you are unhappy with certain aspects of your life, if you are not where you want to be, if you are stressed, depressed, or uncertain about your life direction self development is your first step towards positive and productive change. Begin using these 25 winning principles for self-development to see real change right away.

1. Set goals for yourself.
2. Commit your goals to paper.
3. Expect to be successful.
4. Ask for what you want.
5. Be decisive.
6. Accept responsibility for your life and your actions.
7. Proactively seek opportunities to learn and grow.
8. Make it a point to learn from key experiences.
9. Seek the lesson in any failures, mistakes, and setbacks.
10. Look for the good in every situation.
11. Seek feedback.
12. Accept constructive criticism.
13. Adapt to changes.
14. Find ways to Effectively manage stress.
15. Balance work, personal, and family life.
16. Work effectively with little or no supervision or direction.
17. Meet commitments.
18. Face fears and challenges head on.
19. Believe in yourself.
20. Refuse to compromise.
21. Follow and trust your intuition.
22. Be confident.
23. Be persistent and never give up.
24. Don’t hold grudges. Forgive, forget, and let go.
25. Go the extra mile.

A solid commitment to self-development lays the foundation to living life abundantly. Everyone wants to be prosperous, happy, and fulfilled, it all begins and ends with self-development.
About the author: Marenda Hughes Taylor is Chief Operating Officer of 1st Love Records, a living life abundantly http://marenda.biz Motivator, and an http://paidinfulldaily.com Internet Business Owner.

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Tuning-In to Intuition by Michael Imani

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:05:00 +0000

Intuition is knowledge or perception which comes from the heart and is not filtered by the head. English journalist and author, Holbrook Jackson (1874-1948) once described intuition as ‘reason in a hurry.’ Intuitive decisions are often correct and you may already employ your intuition without realizing or valuing it.

One of the more important things I have discovered as a coach relates to why people don't get or have what they want in their lives. The answer about 20% of the time relates directly to the fact that they simply don't trust themselves nor theirintuitive sense or higher wisdom or that little voice.

You can tell when your intuition strikes because you will feel inspired, and obvious answer may suddenly present itself, there will be a feeling of unison and your insight may reach beyond the realm of logic.

While you may already recognize your intuition as a hunch or an inkling or that gut feeling in the pit of your stomach, other signs and symptoms might include a racing heart, tightening muscles, deja vu, a flash of inspiration or that still small voice. In becoming more aware of your intuition, you will more readily trust your intuitive decisions.

And you can develop your intuition by being present in the moment and creating space for your intuition to push through. Alternatively, cast your mind back to previous occasions when you followed your heart. What were the outcomes?

My gut feeling is that you will have relied upon your intuition more often than you thought!

Thomas Chalmers is an executive coach who works with executives, politicians, and entrepreneurs. http://www.idealifeinternational.com

Michael Imani, Ph.D. is a mind/body expert who helps people succeed in life and business. He is a facilitator in executive coaching at the top-ranked Robinson College of Business at Georgia State University. http://www.michaelimanicoaching.com

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Developing Skills To Achieve Your Goals by Alison Stevens

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:09:00 +0000

When setting goals it is important not to sell yourself short. Always set a goal that will have meaning when you reach it. Setting achievable goals does not mean giving up ambitious dreams, instead it means setting intermediate achievable goals long the way. For example, if your goal is to lose, say, 30 pounds, then break this down into achievable steps of losing 5 pounds per month. More emphasis needs to be placed on setting smaller achievable goals and developing skills to achieve goals is an important step.

So, sit down and set yourself a realistically achievable goal. We've already talked about setting realistic weight loss goals so let's use the example of returning to the workforce. Perhaps starting back part-time would be one way of easing back into it. On the other hand, it may not be realistic to say, "I want to generate this amount of income within the next three months". It may be more worthwhile to say, "I want to be working three days per week at the end of two months".

If the goal is too large it will seem unachievable and you will become frustrated and give up.
That's why realistic goals are so important. Decide on realistic changes you need to make to your life. The key in setting goals is making sure that you are not making it too hard - and therefore setting yourself up for failure - or too easy for yourself.

In order for your resolutions to be effective, they need to be specific to you and realistic. Try running your goal by a friend or family member. They should be able to tell you if your goal is realistic for you or not. Goal setting, however, is not simply about wanting to do something; it is also about being able to articulate what the goal is about, and understanding what parameters you can measure your progress against. When applied to your personal and professional life, goal setting is about taking control of the way your life evolves.

All you objectives should have a clear time frame, be measurable, and realistically reflect your capabilities. A time line will help you visualize how you should be progressing towards your goal and where you need to concentrate your efforts. If your become dispirited in it is often because your expectations are unrealistic. Goals can be set that are impossible to achieve causing the person to repeatedly fail and becomes frustrated and give up.

All kinds of people - family, friends, work colleagues and society - can put unwarranted pressure on you which can almost guarantee failure. These people often do this in ignorance of your true goals and aspirations. So make sure that you are alert to outside influences that could restrict your ability to achieve your dreams.

Set yourself achievable goals and reward yourself as each milestone is reached and longer term goals are set. Aim to actively pursue your goal for a set time each day. Of course, to reach your end goal you will need to set yourself intermediate goals to get there.
Let your daily actions be a reward, not just an end result. Allow yourself to enjoy the journey and don't obsess about the future. Achieving your goals shouldn't be an ordeal; it can and should be pleasurable as you develop more skills. A final word about achieving your goals is to continue to focus on the outcome and never give up.

Alison Stevens is an online author and maintains http://www.goal-achiever.com/ The Goal Achiever Website to assist anyone who wants to discover how to set and achieve goals. Find out more about http://goal-achiever.com/develop-skills.htm Developing Skills To Achieve Goals here

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Educating The Public On Anger Management - The Why's And How's by Karen Golob

noreply@blogger.com (Mary D. Reed) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 20:58:00 +0000

A Need to Educate

Several years ago I discovered the importance of integrating a structured anger management program into my private practice. I recognized that there were significant problems in managing anger that went hand and hand with aggressive behavior and behavior attributed to substance abuse. This was also the case where substance abuse was not a factor leading to a client's maladaptive behavior. In some cases anger served a purpose by discharging tension and stress. Some clients experienced a momentary strong feeling of control, which led to unresolved conflict and aggressive acts.

In this age of media overload and the lack of effective skills to monitor and manage stress, it is necessary that new resources of information (the 411) be available to men, women and adolescents in order to avoid resultant anger and frustration that we see in daily life. My education and experience as an Anderson & Anderson Certified Anger Management Facilitator and Executive Coach, has successfully assisted me in gaining useful information in order to teach clients and counselors in simple and effective ways how to recognize the "red flags" that set up aggressive behaviors and destructive reactions. Anger management is a skill enhancement program which teaches practical skills in recognizing and managing anger, stress, assertive communication, emotional intelligence and improving interpersonal relationships.

What Is Anger?

Anger is a basic human emotion that everyone feels. According to the American Psychiatric Association, anger is a normal human emotion. It is not a pathological condition and is not listed as a defined illness in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Nervous and Mental Disorders. Anger is considered to be a lifestyle and is a reaction to an inner emotion which is used to express a feeling. Anger is energy and can be a signal that tells us something about ourselves, someone else, or a situation in which we find ourselves. It can serve a purpose by giving people the drive and determination to cope with difficult situations. It is important to recognize that anger is a secondary emotion, which means we feel something else first...even if we don't notice it. For example, a primary emotion might be fear, frustration, disrespect or perhaps rejection. Learning how to identify this primary emotion and appropriately express one's feelings before they are elevated to anger, is an important factor in emotional intelligence. Because anger is a "learned response", we have the ability to unlearn negative reactions and "retrain" ourselves to respond in a healthy manner. When skills are not made available to help individuals with their set and solidified responses, it is evident that underlying anger problems add to the source of substance abuse and eventually affect depression and anxiety.

A Program for Understanding Anger

Everyday life is a challenge. We constantly face situations in which our self-control and communication skills are tested at work, at school, at home, on the roadways and with a myriad of personalities in the general public.

A certified anger management facilitator designs a program to help individuals gain a better understanding of acceptable and productive ways to express anger and eliminate violent and self-destructive behaviors. Clients learn to recognize and identify the role of individual responsibility in changing their maladaptive behaviors.

In this program, an assessment is given which is designed to determine the client's level of functioning in the areas of anger, stress, communication and emotional intelligence. The client's session is then based on the results of the assessment and skills are taught in these four areas. The same assessment is administered at the completion of the program to determine the success of their program. By gathering this information, the facilitator is able to provide clients with new insights into their life's situations and educate with skills to transform destructive interactions into constructive responses.

Karen Golob, CAMF, CCDC, CH, owner of Anger Management Services, is a Certified Anger Management and Certified Executive Coaching professional helping individuals gain self-awareness, identify and develop strengths, and learn how to problem-solve in order to manage life's challenges. Karen is Certified with the State of California as a Chemical Dependency Counselor and utilizes her extensive knowledge in substance abuse counseling when working with addicts who exhibit maladaptive behaviors with their anger. She offers private sessions that provide confidentiality, individual attention and anonymity. Her curriculum is based on the Anderson & Anderson model.

Karen is a Fellow of the American Assoc. of Anger Management Providers, a member of the National & California Assoc. of Drug and Alcohol Counselors, the American Counseling Assoc., and Speaker's Bureau of Olive View/UCLA Medical Centers. She has a diverse and expansive background in teaching, training, public speaking and counseling.

Karen receives referrals from the Calif. Superior Courts, Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Centers, mental health professionals and those in the corporate and private sectors. She holds Certifications in Chemical Dependency Counseling, Anger Management, Executive Coaching and Clinical and Medical Hypnotherapy.

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