There are so many human beings living on this planet, it never ceases to amaze me. I think humanity has exceeded the seven billion mark in 2011, which means there are seven billion individuals, from all kinds of different cultural backgrounds with very diverse professions, biographies, wishes, dreams but also burdens and privileges, living on earth right now. And yet, there are some who somehow seem to manage to make the most out of their lives, no matter the situation they find themselves in. I’m talking about the people who never cease to stand up again, no matter what life throws at them.

On the other hand, there are vast amounts of people, who are not happy with their live at all. Some are even deeply depressed about it, despite the fact that they have everything they ever needed in order to be happy in life. I’m not necessarily talking about the possession of huge amounts of money or having a lot of fancy tangibles (i.e. sports cars, mansions and jewelry); I’m talking about the basic foundations of a happy life: Health, Freedom and a Clear Mind. So, how does the aforementioned category of people manage to live their live to the fullest, even if they are (in many cases) by far less gifted than many others, or even lack one of the three foundations to a happy life?

My quick summary on how to make the best of life:

Accept the situation you find yourself in and use it as a foundation on which you can build the life you are dreaming of. Spend more time doing the things that you truly love to do, with the people you cherish. Value each moment of your life, appreciate it as a precious gift and remember that you never know how much time you have left. Don’t allow your life to be dominated by fear and worry, instead have the courage to take a risk. Learn to be happy with what you already have, instead of making your happiness dependent on external influences, such as wealth and material things. Have compassion for others and see if you can give something back, by creating a value for others. Allow your creativity to flow, see where it leads you and never allow excuses to stand between you and the life you aspire.

and now, the detailed version:

How to get the most out of life:

#1 Live life as if there is no tomorrow

Yes, I know. This is the kind of phrase everyone throws at you, when looking for guidance on ways to make the best out of life. And most disregard this piece of advice as they associate a destructive lifestyle with it; a life at the limit that cannot be sustained for a long period.

But when looking at it more closely, the profound, hidden message becomes clear: spend more time doing the things you truly love, with the people you cherish. Value the moment, but don’t let it be ruined by worries about the future. Allow your creativity to flow, see where it leads you and do the things that make you happy.

Therefore, the advice to live life as if there is no tomorrow, has not so much to do with an apocalyptic scenario where there are only a couple of hours left before everything collapses. Instead, it means to free yourself from all the man-made illusions about what life really should be, to remove all the things you don’t really need and to focus your attention on what really fulfills you.

And this is where “live as if there’s no tomorrow” comes in, as this kind of mindset makes it easier for you to dislodge the unnecessary. I was fortunate enough (that’s arguable of course) to experience a situation where my life was hanging by a thread for some months. And as tough as it was, it did one thing that made the experience very valuable: it erased all the illusions I had about life, at the stroke of a minute. All the illusions advertising, Hollywood and society had talked me into believing were gone. And I could clearly see the things that were really important to me: Family, Friends, unconditional Love and making the most out of the moment. Anything else, from the past to the future, the material things and tangibles, money, fame, power, etc. was and still is an illusion to me.

My suggestion on making the most of it:

Live life as if there is no tomorrow, but plan as if you will live forever.

#2 Identify and get rid of the illusions in your life

What are these illusions that I’m talking about? In general, anything that does not contribute to your goal of making the best of life could be regarded as such an illusion. For me personally these illusions consist of things that do not contribute to my personal growth or happiness, the things that simply don’t feel right to me anymore.

The identification of the illusions that surround you is something you will have to do on your own. Nobody else has the right to tell you what a valuable aspect of your life is and what the illusions are. But you can’t go wrong by searching for the struggles in your life that seemingly “won’t flow”, all the burdens you/society placed on your shoulders and the time-consumptive but ineffective activities. Ask yourself it the pursuit of fame and fortune - that is a heavily promoted burden many people place on their shoulders – accords to your goal of making the best of your life.

Unfortunately, most people will only be able to realize all the illusions they had striven for when it’s too late for them to make a change. Interestingly enough, most of the sad regrets of the dying sound as follows:

• I wish I hadn’t spend so much time working
• I wish I had stayed in contact with my friends/family
• I wish I had spend more time with my children
• I wish I hadn’t tried to please everyone
• I wish I’d had the courage to express what I was feeling
• I wish I had done the things that I wanted to do and not what others wanted me to do

It will take a lot of courage and much honesty towards oneself to see these illusions that have become a natural part of life. In any case, it’s a lot easier to live with these illusions, instead of exposing them for what they really are. The choice is yours!

Tip for making the best of it:

Ask yourself the question: “Does this activity/goal really have any value for me or does it prevent me from making the most out of my life?” Do the things that you would deeply regret if you wouldn’t do them!

#3 Acceptance, the groundwork for making the most of life

When looking at your life’s experiences, the way your parents raised you, your cultural background, education, (etc.), you will notice that you find yourself in a very individual life situation. Unfortunately, many factors have conditioned us to such a strong degree into believing that you’re a nothing if you’re not a superstar, billionaire, celebrity, powerful figure or politician. Therefore, many compare their lives with those of the “selected few” and take it as an excuse not to make the most out of their lives, along the lines: “First I have to get rich, and then I can live the life I really want to live!” Other excuses can sound as follows: “I’m in the worst situation of all. I was born in poverty/riches, with so many burdens on my shoulders. I have a responsibility towards my parents/siblings. I’m simply not this and simply not that, and never will be!”

Stop the comparison, this will bring you nowhere! The point I want to make is that we all find ourselves in a variety of different situations that all come with diverse burdens, which are very difficult to compare with those of others. Therefore, we all will have to make the best out of our personal situation, but in our own, individual way. Therefore it is so important to come to terms with your particular situation and to accept it, instead of continuously comparing your life with others who seem to be better off. Unless you have the courage to compare your life with someone who makes the most of his life, despite living in a third world country, with no tangibles at all, you’re just creating an annoying illusion from false role models.

Tips for getting the best out of your situation:

Accept the situation you find yourself in. Accept your past and the events that made you become the person you are today. Have in mind that you’re in a unique situation that requires individual approaches to make the best out of your situation. Do not agonize yourself with false role models that are portrayed on television, but focus on the good and exciting things in your life.

#4 Make no excuses

Excuses prevent you from living the life you always wanted to live and especially from making the most of your life. I think that’s clear to everyone. Identify the excuses that stand between you and the life you aspire to live, take responsibility and avoid these excuses to the best of your degree the next time they come up.

#5 Have no fear of failure, don’t worry too much

It took me a long time to accept failure as what it is: an inevitable challenge that is a ubiquitous part of my life, from the past to the present. Failing can be painful and everyone could do without, but in the end it’s just an experience that helps you to do better in the future. Many of my biggest failures had opened my eyes for new possibilities and gave me the courage to start something new.

The only possible way to avoid any failure would be by not even trying, which is comparable – at least to me – with not having lived at all. Therefore, it’s so important to stop worrying about failure as the biggest failure of all, is the irreversible mistake of not having tried at all, which equals to not being able to make the most of your life.

How to make the best of life, without fearing failure:

Fear is a major aspect that keeps people from living their life to the fullest. No matter if it’s the fear of failure, or the fear to disappoint your beloved ones. In the end, you will have to ask yourself if you want to allow fear from preventing you of doing the things you would really like to do. Regret can be a lot more painful than fear itself.

#6 Value each moment, be conscious of its beauty

The past and the future are only existent within our thoughts. They are not within grasp (any longer / not yet), which means that the only tangible and influenceable aspect in your life is this very moment in the present. Hence it makes sense to value each moment and to make the most of it, right? The key to this is to be living in the moment, instead of “sleep-walking” through life from one sensory overload to the next one. The distraction with different kinds of stimuli, i.e. TV, internet, etc. will preclude you from being conscious about the beauty of the moment.

Living in the moment is an essential aspect for being able to make the most out of your life. It’s essential for being happy, as happiness is nothing you can just think about; you have to feel it. Happiness goes uninfluenced by the pleasure you had in the past or the joy you reckon to have in the future. The only happiness you can truly experience is the happiness you feel in the very moment. It does not depend on tangibles or wealth, but on your ability to be grateful for the things you already have.

How to make the best of it:

When living in the moment, full of gratitude for it, there is no question about what happened, what might happen or what could have been. Living in the moment means to accept the past as what it is: a bygone and not changeable experience that will only have an influence on your present life if you allow it to.

From: Living in the moment is key to happiness

#7 Write your memoirs – from a future perspective

If a person writes his memoirs, they usually write about the past and the things they have experienced. Turn the tables and write the memoirs of your future – seen from the angle on how you were able to make the most out of your life! Doing so will assist you in defining what you really understand under the concept of making the best in life. It also gives you the chance to create a strategy that you can embark on.

Write your memoirs from a future perspective, then live your life backwards.

#8 (Get to) know thyself

Know who you are and be comfortable with yourself. Explore what your heart wants and develop a relationship with yourself. After all, others might not have faith in you or trust you at all, but all you ever need is the faith in yourself. If you believe in yourself, no one else will be able to knock you off course. But, no one will believe in you if you don’t even believe in yourself; until you really get to know what you are capable of. Bring out your true self and be the person that you were meant to be, not the person others want you to be!

Explore your personality, identify your values and learn to stand in your own integrity. Deal with yourself and try to really get to know what you value in life and the things you appreciate. And have the courage to filter out personality traits, values or goals that aren’t truly yours, but were imposed upon you by society, television and so on.

#9 Take a risk and expand your limits

“If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.” -
Albert Einstein

Living life to the fullest and getting the most out of it also implies that you have the courage to take a risk every once in a while. The convenience of the comfort zone is indisputable, but it also means that there is little to no progress in your life. Not to mention that it will be very difficult to make the best of life, without doing things you’ve never done before. Break free from the routines of your everyday life and introduce something new into your life from time to time. No one will ask you to suddenly turn into an adrenaline-junkie that base-jumps off from cliffs or the like. In fact, you won’t have to live your life at the limit just to make the most of it. For most people, exploring the depths of meditation, taking a new route to work, choosing another meal for lunch, researching an interesting topic could also mean a quite effective expansion of one’s boundaries.

Take an educated risk and test your limits! Then expand them.

#10 Do something good, give something back

This article was all about what YOU could do to make the most of YOUR life. So how could helping others benefit your life at all? It will certainly not bring you riches, fame or power so where is the rational point of doing it anyways? It is kind of contradictory that you cannot make the most of your life if you are not willing to give something back. By only taking what one can for oneself, there will always remain a gap within one’s heart that cannot be filled with wealth, luxury or other tangible things, but only with the smile and the gratefulness of a person whose life became a little bit easier through your work.

Be compassionate about other people’s concerns. Listen to them. Give back, by creating a value for others, or by volunteering. There are so many different ways of doing something good that many people can benefit from. You just have to be creative enough to discover these ways.

Create the solution to a person’s suffering and you will not only be remembered as the person who truly made the most of your life, but also as the one who enabled others to make the best out of their situation as well!

Article was brought to you by our Personal Growth Blog.

The following articles might also interest you:

• 6 Questions to ask yourself to get the most out of life
• How to listen to the heart?
• Developing empathy by walking a mile in someone’s shoes

Incoming search terms for the article:

• apply and advice as student from the article how to get the most out of yourself (1)
• Getting the best out of your present situation (1)
• how to make the best in life (1)

Life can be a tough ride. It’s harsh, hard and slaps you occasionally in the face. Sometimes, it seems like a never-ending struggle from one problem to another. And as if this wasn’t enough already, we encounter every once in a while an incident that is so severe, so drastic and shocking that it changes our life forever. Unfortunately, in most cases this change is not for the better.

Feel free to skip the intro to see how to discover opportunities in times of setbacks.

There are times in life, when a door is proverbially slammed right in front of your face. I’ve experienced one major life-changing event, and of course a couple of minor events that everyone else undergoes as well, like being left, given notice, stolen from, etc.

And certainly, I asked myself whenever I encountered one of these “minor life-changing events” why it was always me who had to endure such an awful thing. That was until I grew older and was confronted with a truly “major life-changing event”. It did not only make me realize how insignificant most of the minor happenings were, but it also elucidated all the things I could no longer do in my life. It made me realize all the doors that had been slammed shut, never to be opened again.

I spend a lot of time in grief about all the doors that were closed and all the opportunities that were missed. It was a tough episode in my life, but time is a great healer, as they say, and so I began to make the best out my situation. And after many, many months I had learned to at least deal with the situation. But it took me a lot of reflection and courage to discover all the doors, windows and opportunities that had presented themselves only as a result of this major life-changing event.

Only when I was brave enough to accept the situation I found myself in, only when I was courageous enough to let go of the bitterness concerning the missed opportunities, I began to discover new paths and even more exciting avenues. I do realize now that – especially this tough and difficult time – paved the way to something new and made me the person I am today. If someone would ask me if I wanted to experience a similar thing again, I would certainly answer no, as it was something you wouldn’t even wish for your worst enemy. But, I wouldn’t want to miss all the amazing opportunities it brought me.

There’s a lesson to be learned in everything that happens to you. And it takes a lot of courage to discover the windows that were opened by such a situation. Remaining in grief and self-pity, or entirely giving up is always the easier alternative. But in reality, some doors and windows can only be opened, when an existing door is closed.

When a door closes, look out for the window that opens!

How to Discover Opportunity in Times of Great Challenge?

In the following I will show you some of the most important steps toward finding the good in bad situations.

#1 Take yourself a break, time will heal!

That’s in my opinion the single most important aspect in discovering opportunities in times of great trouble. Naturally, you might not see any new window opening when your emotional wounds are still open and the pain is still felt. Your situation might seem hopeless, while the memory is still fresh. Therefore, it’s so important to give yourself a hiatus, before even thinking of looking for a window that has opened. [Of course, this only applies to very severe happenings!]. The reason why I’m stressing this out lies therein that you will not be ready to discover any opportunity, if you haven’t allowed yourself some time for yourself to come to terms with what happened.

Depending on the severity of what happened, this can take months or even years! But time heals all wounds; it may not restore things, it may not change your life to the better, but it allows you to come to terms with the past.

Feel free to bookmark this site, to return to it at a later point in time, if you don’t feel ready to continue, yet.

If you allow time to pass, you will notice that many new opportunities have presented themselves, and may have already been integrated into your new life. This often goes unnoticed, at the first moment.

#2 Distract yourself

Try to get distraction, by focusing on things that do not remind you of what happened. Treat yourself to something good. Also, by keeping yourself engaged in an activity that totally absorbs your mind and soul, you will more likely think about positive things, for a longer period of time.

#3 Develop acceptance

Secondly, acceptance about what happened is needed before you are ready to discover new possibilities, challenges and unnoticed options. The perfect moment to search and discover the windows that have opened is when you do not feel any more grief about the door that has closed.

#4 Have the courage to find new possibilities

Does it take courage to discover and accept the windows as what they are? Yes, certainly! I can only relate to my situation, but it took me a lot of courage to discover these new opportunities and just as much courage to see what could be found behind these windows.

#5 Avoid comparisons with the door that closed

The difficulty for me lied therein that not all of these new opportunities looked worthwhile at all. Especially not when compared to my past lifestyle. And this was a major mistake, which prohibited me from discovering all the new fantastic windows and doors much earlier. I firmly believe that I would have never chosen to discover what could be found in each new opportunity, if I had continued to compare all of them with the doors that had closed. So, it was tremendously helpful for me to clarify that a new chapter in my life had begun, whether I liked it or not.

Therefore, it’s so important to let go of the door that closed. In most situations, the windows that opened through a troublous time do not look like new opportunities at all. Many of them seem much more like a step backwards, but I realized that most of them turned out to be very profound and enriched my life.

#6 Go with the flow and don’t force things

I know from my personal experience that most of the new circumstances do not immediately present themselves, after a door has been shut close. Also, the attempt to force new doors to open is in my opinion counter-productive. Rather than doing that, I would recommend you to simply “go with the flow”, i.e. by doing whatever feels right to you at the moment. A while later you will automatically know if these things have developed into new opportunities or not.

#7 Discover the lessons and internalize them

Number 7 applies to mildly bad situations, but not to all malign happenings. Many bad situations we encounter in life bring a valuable, mostly hidden, lesson. And in fact, depending on your own insight about life, a lesson can be drawn out of nearly every stroke of faith, (not all though!) By finding the root cause for a bad happening, you have the chance to learn a lesson out of what happened, in order to avoid similar occurrences in the future.

The following articles might also interest you:

• How to stop worrying about failure?
• How to listen to your heart?
• Develop trust in yourself!
• Walk a mile in a person’s shoes to develop empathy for them

Incoming search terms for the article:

• when a door closes a window opens (26)
• door closes window opens (4)
• Bad door closes good window opnes (1)
• door closes a window opens (1)
• what can be a very shocking event n life changing events (1)

The noun ag∙gres∙sion refers to

• an unprovoked hostile or destructive behavior
• an attack, action or behavior that violates another’s rights
• suppressed hostility as a result of frustration and anger

which can be understood in general as an action that has the intended outcome of harming another person, be it through verbal attacks, from threats to insults or physical attacks.

Aggression can easily become part of one’s everyday life, especially in these modern times, where aggression is promoted as “necessary for survival” in a society that is increasingly defined by competitiveness and hecticness. The “aggression-overload” begins in the morning, when rushing to work; it is continued throughout the day, when encountering angry and aggressive customers, bosses and colleagues, only to reach its peak when turning on the TV in the evening.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could dial the aggression down a notch, take a step aside from all the blame and the abuse, turn it all off as easy as a TV, allowing you to finally find your inner peace? And wouldn’t it be even better if you could transform all the energy that aggression creates into compassion, wisdom and a deeper understanding about yourself, others and life in general?

Turning Aggression into Compassion and Understanding

Quick summary:

1. Take a step back, don’t react instantly. Think!
2. Remain in your integrity. Stop mirroring others emotions.
3. Develop an understanding for other people’s motives.
4. Take responsibility for your emotions. Stop blaming others.
5. Practice the art of meditation.
6. Learn to be no longer affected by trivial aggressors.
7. Realize what you are afraid of.

#1 Take a step back – avoid to react instantly

Aggression is a human instinct and – as it is with all instinctual behaviors – makes us cease thinking, which allows the fixed action pattern to take over and control the situation, leading us to do things we regret later. And in some cases this behavior is exactly what is necessary to save your life; reacting compassionate towards a physical assault can be dangerous to say the very least. But in most everyday situations the aggressive instinctual behavior is simply incongruous as it does not fulfill its original purpose: saving your life. You’re not in danger if someone throws an insult at you just as much as you’re not at risk while being stuck in a traffic jam. Yet, we can see people freak out and get aggressive for the most trivial reasons one could possibly imagine, such as the ones already mentioned.

What’s the best way to avoid such an instant (aggressive) reaction and react with wisdom and understanding instead? How to turn the built-up aggression into compassion? First of all, one of the most crucial aspects to avoid an aggressive instinctual behavior is to take a step aside from what is happening, both mentally and physically, depending on the situation. This point cannot be stressed enough as we have become so accustomed to react instantly to everything that appears as a threat to us, even if it’s trivial. We forget to think before we act. Stepping mentally aside, just for a minute or so, will either make you realize how insignificant the situation just was, how stupid it would look to react aggressive or even better: it will help you to see the situation in a more objective and rational way. You might even understand where the other person is coming from and why that person did what he/she did. It gives you a clear impression why you’re feeling aggressive or angry and gives you the chance to act as a human being and not as an instinct-driven animal.

# 2 Don’t mirror other people’s emotions

Have you ever seen a fight break out? Maybe you haven’t witnessed a physical fight loom, but I’m sure that most of us have seen an argument develop into a pretty aggressive altercation. In most cases, there’s the aggressor who behaves very aggressive from the outset, as he is offended in one way or the other – maybe for a good reason, but in most cases not. And there’s the one who wasn’t upset or offended at all, but instantly begins to react to the behavior of the aggressor. Basically, he mirrors his counterpart and, before you know it, the both of them scream at each other in an altercation full of aggressiveness.

Don’t be that person that mirrors its counterpart’s aggressiveness! Try to remain in your own integrity. If you allow someone to drag you down onto his level of aggressiveness, you’ve already lost a fight that could never be won, as you’re fighting on a terrain where the other person is an expert.

On the other hand, you will notice that – not always but in many cases – an aggressive opponent will calm down faster when you remain serene and rational. Just imagine screaming at someone who remains absolutely relaxed, someone who miraculously bounces off all the aggression you throw at him and argues your rant down with ease and logic. Even thinking about being the aggressor in such a situation feels embarrassing right?

#3 Replace anger with compassion

The ability of having empathy for others, i.e. to see where another person is coming from by “walking in their shoes”, is in my opinion a crucial skill in order to transform aggression into compassion. By seeing things from the other person’s perspective you begin to get a glimpse at some of the underlying motives for this person’s behavior. But even more important, you might even acknowledge to yourself that you would have reacted similarly, if you were in the same situation.

By understanding - or at least scrutinizing – a person’s motives, you will begin to take the things that would normally have filled you with anger not so serious anymore. It is irrelevant whether you like this person’s motives or not. What matters is that you can at least see the reasons that led a person to do what it did.

In this regard, it’s a lot easier and energy-saving for you to simply ignore someone who might have angered you for a trivial reason. By ceasing to react to such a perceived thread with aggression you have the chance to explore the motives of this person instead, which will further aid you in completely ignoring the matter.

Once you get used to the concept of not responding instantly with aggression to what appears to be some sort of a trivial threat to you, it will help you with #1 taking a step back and #3 replacing the aggression with compassion. Start on a shoestring with replacing aggressiveness with understanding and compassion, in everyday situations, whenever you are confronted with things that make you aggressive.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned.
Buddha
(more quotes on transforming aggression into compassion)

At one point you will automatically look at things from the other person’s perspective, before even responding in an emotional way, which allows you to find wiser solutions to the problem than reacting with aggression. Doing so will also help you to realize that most things that may have offended you are none of your business and not worth your attention at all.

#4 Take responsibility for your anger

We are led to believe that anger is caused by external influences, which is only partly correct and does not correspond with the whole truth. On the surface of it, we become angry when someone betrays us; we get aggressive if we are manipulated or lied at. In short, things that we perceive to lie outside of us are considered as the source of aggression. By placing the source of anger anywhere outside yourself, however, means to give your power away. The very power to influence and control said emotions. It also means to externalize and thereby label something as unswayable that you would normally be capable of controlling.

Realizing that you are responsible for your emotions, instead of passing the blame onto others, is a basic foundation for the transformation of aggression into compassion and understanding. On the other hand, playing the blame game is not helpful when it comes to dealing with ones aggression, as it makes you become a victim without any kind of influence on its situation.

But what is anger really, if it is not so much influenced by external influences, as I claim. Anger is a choice. The choice between allowing a situation – which you cannot change – to influence you in such a strong emotional way that it literally kicks you out of your soundness; or the choice of not allowing it to harm you in any kind of way. It’s the choice between making a distinct statement of your helplessness and confessing how powerless you perceive yourself to be, or to be standing – figuratively – above such things.

#5 Practice meditation (or reflection)

Meditation could be considered as the #1 strategy to not only control aggression, but also to turn it into a deeper understanding, full of compassion and empathy. Sitting around, without doing anything, except breathing may sound abnormal to many, but the benefits of scheduling 10 to 15 minutes a day for meditation practices cannot be emphasized enough. Simply by focusing on your breathing, your mind will begin to become quieter, allowing you to declutter and let go of every thought that upsets you. Once you find yourself in a deep state of relaxation, you will notice how much easier it is to let go of the past and worries about the future. You’ll become aware of aggression some time before it even arises within you and – by practicing meditation – you’ll know how to calm yourself effectively down.

#6 Notice the triviality in most aggression-triggering situations

Categorizing the importance of a situation is an easy, yet effective method of realizing the triviality of most circumstances that made you aggressive. Doing so will help you to bring yourself back to reality, by bringing face-to-face how insignificant and unnecessary the aggression you built-up really is.

After that, you can work on increasing what I would call the “triviality-radius”, so that more and more aggression-triggering things become less and less important to you, leading you to understand how trivial it would be to respond with anger.

#7 Ask yourself what you are afraid of

If you come to the conclusion that there is nothing to fear in a given situation, then there’s no reason for aggression. Simple as that! Realize – and if possible try to eliminate through confrontation – the things that you are afraid of, causing you to built-up aggression.

• Someone drives not as fast as you want – trivial, no danger!
• Someone has a bad day and insults you – trivial, no danger!

#8 Bonus: Quotes on Transforming Aggression into Compassion

Aggression only moves in one direction – it creates more aggression.
Margaret Wheatley

He who knows to be aggressive, and yet remains patient, becomes a receptacle for all of Nature’s lessons.
Lao Tzu

Everyone gets frustrated and aggressive, and I’d sooner take my aggression out on a guitar than on a person.
Paul Weller

To control aggression without inflicting injury is the Art of Peace.
Morihei Ueshiba

Mankind must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.
Martin Luther King

Photo by myself

This article was brought to you by our Personal Growth Blog.

Incoming search terms for the article:

• how to transform agresion to love (1)
• quotes on aggression and compassion (1)

I write a dream journal for a while now. You know it’s just a small note-book where I put down some of the impressions I have during my dreams, basically anything I can remember of the night. And besides the fantastic insight that this little journal provides about my mind, I began to notice a monthly pattern in which my dream recall and the vividness would begin to change tremendously. To be more precise, I believe this pattern is highly influenced by the lunar phase that is occurring and the thereof resulting visibility/“invisibility” of the Moon.

Shortly before, during and some days after the rise of the full moon my dreams would become almost certainly less vivid; my dream recall becomes little to non-existent. Instead of remembering three or four dreams in greatest detail (like during a New moon), I would only be able to reconstruct memory excerpts of a frantic night (dream-wise). This feels to me like comparing an HD 1080p movie to one second-lasting snippets from a low resolution independent movie. Also, when there is a full moon going on, I have trouble falling asleep, cannot sleep through the night and wake up more often. On the other hand, while in the lunar phase of the new moon, when the moon resides in the darkness, I recall most of my dreams, some of them very intense and vivid.

These are the conclusions I’ve drawn from my own experiences and therefore I was truly astonished when many of my friends reported to undergo exactly the opposite of what I experience during a full moon. Out of curiosity I began researching and noticed that people either have really intense, sometimes strange but always very vivid dreams during a full moon (which make up to an estimate of 70% of accounts), whereas the other 30% would report less intense dreams or difficulties to remember any dreams at all, during a Full moon.

It’s obvious to ask the question: Does the moon have an influence on our dreams? And if it does: What is the reason that the moon affects our dreams in such a strong way? Why would a moon phase, such as the full moon, cause aforementioned extremes in the dream-pattern of a person such as experiencing very intense dreams or not being able to remember any dreams at all, during a full moon?

Why are dreams so intense during the Full Moon?

This is the most probable and reasonable explanation I’ve discovered at present:

Theory #1: Charged Moon influences Earth’s magnetic field

The Earth’s magnetic field is influenced, amongst other factors, by the Moon. This alone would not rate a mention, but the connecting of the dots that follows becomes really interesting. The Earth also has a magnetic tail, formed by the solar wind, which is basically a stream of electrons and protons ejected from the Sun. This stream of charged particles (plasma) that is ejected from the Sun hits the earth with speeds of up to 500 mph. Luckily, the Earth is protected to a large degree from this solar wind, as the magnetic field shields our planet, leading to a deflection of the stream. Hence, this is how the magnetic tail of the Earth is created, which extends way beyond the Moon into space.

Every 27.3 days when the Moon completes its orbit, it moves through Earth’s magnetic tail, which just happens to coincide with a full moon.

Anyone can tell when the moon is inside the magnetotail. Just look: “if the moon is full, it is inside the magnetotail,” says Stubbs. “The moon enters the magnetotail three days before it is full and takes about six days to cross and exit on the other side.”

Tim Stubbs on The Moon and the Magnetotail, NASA

So we have the perfect synchronicity of the Moon entering the Earth’s magnetic tail, right at the time when a full moon occurs. We also know that the Moon is not protected by an atmosphere or magnetic field that could shield it, which means that the surface that faces the earth (during a full moon) is bombarded by the solar wind deflected from Earth. The solar wind – that has left little to no influence on the Earth – then plasma charges the Moon, causing a tremendous increase of the magnetic and electric field, which then influences Earth’s magnetic field, as the plasma charged surface faces our planet.

Quick summary so far: We have the solar wind that is deflected by Earth’s magnetic field that shields us from it. As the Moon is not protected by a magnetic field or atmosphere, it is massively hit by the magnetotail that charges it, which then has an influence onto Earth’s geomagnetic field.

The first dots are connected, but how exactly does a change in the magnetic field influence us humans and the way we perceive our dreams, especially during a full moon?

Scientists know that Earth’s magnetic field affects the pineal gland of a rat (see: Article on Sciencedirect.com) and there is also evidence that electromagnetic fields effect the human pineal gland (see: Evidence for an Effect of ELF on Humans), which logically leads me to the conclusion that changes in the Earth’s geomagnetic field have an influence on the human pineal gland.

The pineal gland – which was regarded by the Ancient as the “third eye” and the seat of mystical powers – is the bodies master gland that secrets melatonin into the body. The French philosopher Descartes even considered this gland to be the seat of the soul. The inside of the gland is filled with water and has the highest blood-flow per cubic volume than any other gland in our body.

Rick Strassman MD, a researcher of the effect of psychedelic and hallucinogenic substances, argues that the pineal gland also releases dimethyltryptamine (DMT), which is a very powerful psychedelic that can be found in nature. According to Strassman, it is very likely that tiny amounts of DMT are released into our bloodstream while we sleep, causing a dreaming state.

There is only one missing link that could not be verified as of today: do changes in the Earth’s magnetic field influence the secretion of DMT into our bloodstream? If such a link exists, it may be the explanation why dreams are so much more intense during a full moon. It would also explain why dreams during an occurring full moon are perceived to be much more vivid and intense, as the natural psychedelic DMT might be released to a stronger degree into our brain than usual, without the pineal gland being influenced by an increase of Earth’s magnetic field.

Result

Validity and conclusiveness of the theory: 90%

I must admit that this is – in my opinion – the best and most explanatory theory that I’ve discovered so far. You might now have a possible answer to the question: “Why are my dreams so intense during a full moon?”. The full moon is charged by the magnetotail of the Earth, which influences the Earth’s magnetic field, which then has an impact on our brains pineal gland, leading - potentially - to an increased release of DMT – a natural psychedelic – which then gives us the impression of more intense and vivid dreams. Voila!

In the following I’ll present you some other theories as to why the Moon influences our dreams.

Theory #2: The bright light disturbs your sleep

The second potential explanation why so many people report intense dreams during a Full moon sounds pretty straightforward and reasonable: When there is a Full moon, it’s much brighter in the night, therefore people wake up more often as the light disrupts their sleep pattern, which then leaves the impression that the dreams were more vivid than usual.

This is what really happens: In general, the dreams that are most memorable are those that took place closest to waking. That’s the explanation why it’s so much easier to remember the last dream you had before awakening and why it’s so extremely difficult to recall anything about the first dreams of the night at all (if you slept through).

The production of melatonin, the hormone that regulates your circadian rhythm, reaches its peak when it’s dark and drops during the day when you’re exposed to light. However, the bright light of the Full moon can disrupt the melatonin cycle, causing us to awake more often during the night – at the end of a dream. This then leaves the impression that your dreams were a lot more intense and vivid, but what actually happened is that you were only remembering more dreams as you awoke more often than on a regular, dark night.

Result

Validity and conclusiveness of the theory: 25%

The “bright-light-disruption-theory” sounds logical, but it does not account to all those who are sleeping in a light-isolated room and still experience either more intense dreams or sleep deprivation during a Full moon. Also, it takes not into account that a Full moon influences most people’s sleep even when the sky is clouded throughout the night. The theory might only be relevant to people who sleep in a sleeping-place that gets illuminated by the moon and it still is not really conclusive as to why people’s dreams are so intense during a Full moon.

Theory #3: The human psyche is responsible

After we have ruled out that the “bright-light-disruption-theory” cannot explain why any person that sleeps in a light-isolated room might experience an influence of the Full moon to their sleep pattern, it’s only consequent to have a look if the human psyche could be the actual reason for this phenomenon. I have to admit, though, that I consider this theory as a rather irrelevant one to explain the severe influence of the Moon on human behavior in general, but - as the interested researcher might find out – many people (most of them scientists) bring up this theory as an explanation, so it should be closer examined.

The theory goes as follows: People have a strong believe in the Moon’s influence on human behavior. And, as we expect a major impact or associate strange happenings with the Full moon, scientists conclude that our psyche is what really influences our dreams, and not the Moon. Not even the many reports of policeman, nurses and firefighters – that link the Full moon to troublous nights with increased numbers of crimes and incoming patients – dissuade scientists from the theory that solely the human psyche responsible for all of this. The fact that many farmers plant in accordance with the moon phase, surgeons and/or patients reschedule appointments for surgery that overlap with a Full moon and the many people that take the lunar calendar into account for every major decision is – in the view of scientists – mostly based on urban legends or as they call it: “moon myths” that are – according to them – not based on experience but rather on folklore, misconceptions and cognitive biases.

Result

Validity and conclusiveness of the theory: 1%

Do my dreams change – regularly and repeatedly at the same time – just because I expect it to happen? It may be possible to a certain extent, but what about those that wake up in the morning – from a bewildering night full of intense and vivid dreams – who confirm their assumption drawn from their experiences that there might be a full moon occurring by looking into the calendar, newspaper or internet. What about all those that did not expect anything to happen and had no idea about the current lunar phase?

Theory #4: The Moon affects water molecules in the body

We all know that the Moon affects the ocean tides, as the moon – in simplified terms – tries to pull anything on the Earth closer like a magnet, whereas the Earth’s gravitational attraction manages to hold onto, but is not able to stop the ever-flowing water in the oceans from being pulled by the Moon’s gravitational force.

What we also know is that approximately 55-70% of the human body consists of water. This is a fact, not a rumor, legend or made-up fiction, it is a fact (see: Wikipedia – Body Water)

Obviously, if the Moon is able to influence water molecules in the ocean, the following question is justified: “Does the Moon have a gravitational effect on the water molecules within our bodies, resulting in a change of our dream pattern during a Full moon?” Is it possible that the Moon causes a disruption of the water molecules in the nervous system, which causes us to experience more intensive/less intensive dreams during a Full moon?

Result

Validity and conclusiveness of the theory: 5%

There are four major arguments that pull the theory apart:

1. The amount of water in the human body varies and is highly influenced by the environment that person is living in (altitude, climate and temperature). But, people from every culture, everywhere on the world experience the same effect of the moon onto their dreams.
2. The Moon’s gravitational force only affects open water, not the water encased by objects (such as the human body).
3. The Moon’s gravitational force during a Full moon is the same as during a New moon. The force does not depend on the lunar phase.

That’s it. I hope you’ve enjoyed the four presented theories and that they will assist you in forging an opinion about this speculative topic.

Photo by Robert Schöller

Incoming search terms for the article:

• dreams during full moon (2)
• cannot sleep the night before a full moon (1)
• moon influence on sleep (1)
• moon influrence (1)
• moon making dreams weird (1)
• moon phases 2012 dreams (1)
• The influence of the moon dreams (1)
• the pineal gland and the moon (1)
• vivid dreams full moon (1)
• weird dreams during full moon (1)
• what does it mean to dream of a bright full moon (1)
• what effect does the moon has on our state of mind (1)
• why are dreams so intense (1)
• why are my dreams so intense (1)
• moon cause strange dreams (1)

Sometimes the approach of applying positivity doesn’t work to pull us out of the dark groove we’ve become stuck in. Sometimes we need a different kind of medicine, sometimes it is important that we get our hands dirty and jump in there work directly with our frustrations and anger. If we do this skilfully, we can actually use our negativity to create further growth and expansion towards the life we want.

If we know how to do it, we can learn to flip our negative patterns around and use them as fuel for further personal development. The key is learning how to relate directly with the stuff that’s getting us down. There is often a tendency to ignore our negative thoughts and feelings, in which case we aren’t able to actually relate with them. If we are maintaining our positive attitude in a blind manner, if we are keeping things buried and not actually resolving them, we may be setting ourselves up for trouble down the road.

Here are three suggestions on how to successfully meet your negativity face to face so you can know it and process it in a healthy, liberating fashion. You can use these three as a three step process, or you can choose any one and apply it in a given situation.

1. Be kind to yourself. We often give ourselves a hard time when we realize how negative we’ve become. We add fuel to the fire of negativity by being negative about or negativity! So when you find yourself stuck in a downward looking spiral, step back and notice what you are doing, and then give yourself some loving kindness. Feel your pain, don’t run from it, but rather than getting even more upset with struggle, go for an enjoyable walk, make yourself a delicious meal, and let the fire settle down. Rather than fighting and getting angry at yourself, give yourself a break and big, loving hug.

2. When you find yourself continually overcome with frustration, resentment, or anger, ask yourself, what in fact, is this state of mind trying to tell you? “Why am I feeling this way, what is the message here for me?“

In fact, your frustration is not simply a ‘useless negative thought‘, rather it is there for a reason or reasons, and if you can decode those reasons, then you make use of a tremendous source of learning, a source of wisdom that is right there under your nose. You may have been ignoring this source because you don’t like the smell, but it’s there if you will only slow down long enough to tap into the truth buried beneath the surface of the angst.

One of the reasons we have such aversion to negative thoughts is that if we ignore them so they tend to stick around and become very persistent. But when we actually stop and listen to our torment, it can be of great help to us on our journey.

3. Let the pain of the negativity pulse through your body. Allow yourself to really feel the negative thoughts and emotions in your body. Feel the pain in your chest, the knot in your guts, the clenching of your jaw. Normally we run from these feelings, which causes them to intensify. If instead we can drop down into our bodily feelings, the energy of the negative materials can process through us naturally, and their truth will become more apparent.

The process of working directly with our negativity is really all about balance. On the one hand we don’t want to get too analytical and caught up in our drama, we don’t want to get into a ‘fixit’ mode of, “I have to understand this negative pattern and get rid of it!” On the other hand it’s a bad idea to habitually turn our back on our painful materials, it won’t help us if we are unwilling to actually face them and process them properly. Somewhere in the middle is balanced approach.

Balance comes with experience and practice, but as rule, if you can look at your situation clearly and honestly, chances are you will find an appropriate response.

Guest Author Craig

Craig Mollins writes about mindfulness and anger management at: http://mindfulnessangermanagement.com. Craig has an over 16 year lasting experience of helping people to find an emotional balance in their life.

Incoming search terms for the article:

• how negativity serves (1)

My excuse was waiting around until I felt like doing it. The only problem was I never really did. That is until I had to do it, which typically worked out to be the night or weekend before it was due. I convinced myself that I worked better when I kept myself on my toes but the stress was incredible.

I still think I’d have a lot more hair on my head if I worked then, with the knowledge that I have now. Nevertheless, I have broken the cycle of procrastination.

Facing the Feelings

When I usually finished my reports, in the nick of time, I didn’t feel very good. I did feel a bit relieved but I really wasn’t able to enjoy my accomplishment. Sometimes I wasn’t even sure of the quality. I know winning isn’t everything but finishing last or not at all isn’t great. Thinking about the times I didn’t follow thru, and how I could’ve improved my situation by just starting earlier makes me cringe. In hindsight, it’s so simple; one action could have completely altered the whole outcome.

Think about how procrastination is affecting your life. Aside from just small tasks, are you putting off your life goals? Is there something that you’ve wanted for a long time but have not achieved? Did you put any effort behind it?

Watching others attain their aspirations while you lie stagnant can start to take its toll on you. For a lot of people, it turns into depression. Depending on the task, for me starting tends to be the hardest part. Usually once I get started I develop and maintain a good work flow. A lot of the time we feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to finish, or even start, everything. As a result we put it off until the last minute. We can’t add more hours to the day so we have to work with what we have.

Here are some tips to reduce procrastination and make the most of your time:

Make a list

I used to always try and remember the things I had to do. Thinking that I always would, because it was so important but then the lists became so long it was hard to keep up. I’ve found that writing it done keeps it in perspective and accurate. Even if it’s a simple grocery list, you’d be surprised how much you can forget by the time you get to the store.

Prioritize your list

Once you’ve made your list, rearrange it by importance and urgency then complete your list accordingly. That way if plans change and you can’t finish everything on schedule, the key items have been squared away.

Take it as it comes

Or when you can. If something comes up and you have the time to take care of it at that moment, do it. Completing one thing at a time as it comes is less stressful than putting it aside and having things pile up. Don’t stress yourself out later when you could have prevented it by finishing the task during your free time. If you can’t fit it in, then remember to add it to your list.

Be an early bird

When I first started to evaluate how my time was being spent I asked myself, “What am I doing that is preventing me from getting this done?” In some cases, I was starting my day too late. Either I’d wake up late in the day or lollygag for a few hours in the morning. Whichever, I’d end up with less time to complete my tasks. Waking up earlier and getting started sooner easily added a couple hours to my day.

Turn off the TV

Watching too much TV was just another thing that I was doing instead of being productive. This also took more hours away from my schedule. I’m not saying that in order to be productive there is no time for leisure, just that the amount of time spent should be monitored.

While you’re working on something in a room with a television, keep the set off. It can be quite distraction when it’s on in the background. You’ll be surprised how much you can get done in solitude. You might even complete everything early.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment is much better and healthier than that of stress and anxiety. Implement these tips and not only will you complete your tasks in a timely manner, but you’ll also reach your goals and feel good about it.

Lea is a conscious living advocate and personal development coach. She enjoys helping others reach their potential and achieve true happiness. You can get your free copy of Design a Plan for Your Life eBook at Leading Edge Advocate. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

Photo by

Incoming search terms for the article:

• Situations where it is better to qet things done early instead of the last minute (1)
• stop messing around in life (1)
• things to do while messing around (1)
• why do i only get things done last minute (1)

When I asked myself if it was really my passion, I decided to refer back to the 10 life-changing questions I asked myself previously to find out my passion. I answered those questions, confirmed that that indeed is my passion.

Now, I’m sharing with you the 10 questions I asked myself. If you know your passion already, let this post serve as a check to make sure what you’re pursuing now is indeed your passion.

What are you doing when you lose track of time?

My answer: When… 1) I am working on my blog 2) I am reading personal development articles

Seriously, what are you doing? Did you ever set a time limit for something, but overshot the time limit forgetting the time totally? If you had actually promised to meet someone at a time but forgot about it totally while doing something else, it may be actually a little bad… But look at the positive side – you’re losing track of time – this means that what you did may be your passion. Recall back…what was it that made you lose track of time?

What do you want to do wherever you are?

My answer: I’ll be working on my blog wherever I go. I bring along my phone every time I go out (unless it’s flat). My parents love shopping (and I hate it) so whenever they start shopping I take out my phone and start working on my blog (using Evernote). An example – I’m actually writing this on Evernote.

Let’s say that anything is possible now – even something that is totally out of the box! Let’s say you can swim on land like in a swimming pool – would you swim? If you can sing songs while swimming – would you sing? Use a little imagination here. Do you want to blog from wherever you are? Do you want to swim wherever you are? Do you want to do X across the globe?

When do you feel excited?

My answer: I feel excited when I’m writing a post for my blog (or a guest post for another blog). I also feel excited when someone tweeted/shared my post! (Speaking of that…maybe you’ll help me to do that later!) Sometimes you’ll feel a little more excited. Maybe you won something – did you win a TV and you’re materialistic? Or maybe it’s another reason (I hope too; being materialistic isn’t something good).

When do you feel more confident than usual?

My answer: When I write about anything. For school, for my blog, for other blogs – I feel confident. I dare to express myself. (I love writing!)

Over to you – when do you feel more confident? When do you feel that you can speak in front a crowd without stuttering, stammering, etc.? When do you speak up?

What would you do even if you don’t earn money?

My answer: I would continue to blog at GLB. If anybody wants, I’d give coaching sessions too. (Free, of course)

This question is quite classic, and there’s not much to talk about – it’s just very straightforward – so I’m just going to let off here.

What do you spend most of your time on when you use the computer?

My answer: Well, the long version: I usually plan to spend around 10 minutes reading the new personal development articles. But then? I click the related/recommended posts…and you get it. I end up overshooting the 10 minutes. Oh, and if I’m not reading, I’ll be working on my blog.

What about you? What do you spend time on? Writing? Surfing? Chatting?

What 1 thing about the world would you like to change?

My answer: I want to change the fact that many people are willing to accept ‘normality’ and not strive to live the life they want to the fact that everyone (yes, including me and you) lives the life they want. That’s my big dream for the world. What’s yours?

What do you want to accomplish before you leave this world?

My answer: Well, I have 3 main wants: 1) To live the life I want 2) To help at least one person to live the life he/she wants 3) To cherish my loved ones.

What do YOU want to accomplish? Fame? Money? Record? Life is short – so you have to figure out what you want to accomplish…and accomplish them. Many people do this in the form of a bucket list. Create your bucket list if you want – and it doesn’t need to have 101 things…

What do you spend your free time doing?

My answer: Free time is common for me, and especially so during school holidays. I usually spend this time working on my blog. Need an example? All the posts in January and February 2012 on my blog (48 in total) are written from November 2011 to December 2011.

What do you do during your free time – short or long? Your lunch period? At night? In the morning?

What do you smile at?

My answer: I smile when I see someone enjoying themselves while doing what they love. I smile when I manage to put a smile on someone’s faces. I smile when I see dogs!

What do YOU smile at? The happiest person could list 101 things – but I want you to list down at least 5 things. 5 things you see that make you smile often…5 things that put the biggest smile on you.

Reflection

I hope you have found these 10 questions helpful. This is one of my favorite posts I’ve ever written because questions are really a part of me – I ask myself many questions.

• Weekly, Saturday morning: 20 questions
  I have written a post that will be published on 14 February, called Questions Galore.
  
• Weekly, Sunday morning: 10 questions
  These 10 questions; to make sure I am on the right path. Sometimes I let slip my real goals for other things. This weekly session has helped me to keep track and not let me stray of…
• Yearly, 31 December: 50 questions
  I also ask myself 50 question on a yearly basis. These questions are to make sure I’m heading the right way and to set the next year fresh. I haven’t written a post yet, and I don’t intend to in the near future, but these questions include goals and habits I want to break/cultivate. I’ve also written an eBook (as a Christmas gift) that holds these 50 year end questions that will be out on the 25th. Here’s the link to the Christmas gift.
  

All of these questions go inside my Life Handbook.

This is the end of the post. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and learned from it. Please leave a comment for me! Also, please visit my website (links below). Thanks for reading!

Great Life Blog

This article is a guest post written by Amanda Koh. Amanda is the author of Great Life Blog, where she blogs about 10 main topics that, to her, are essential for success. You can grab her exclusive VIP list here if you liked this post. Great Life Blog runs on a $0 budget and $0 income so everything there is absolutely free!

Cover-Photo by @doug88888

Incoming search terms for the article:

• 1 question to discover passion (1)
• my parents don\t let me follow my passion (1)
• question to discover someone\s passion (1)
• questions to ask in running a personal development group (1)
• questions to find out about a passion (1)
• questions to know your passion (1)
• what is someones passion (1)

When I was around 17 to 18 years old, I was hoping to win the lottery one day – and I’m pretty sure many people have had similar wishes, at least in some stages in their lives. Hitting the jackpot is a tempting idea, especially because it would have allowed me to eliminate all the trivial problems in my life. I would not have had to bother with the struggles in my job, the defusing and demanding customers and the many other challenges that came with life. To make a long story short, I was hoping for external influences to suddenly change my life for the better. And you know what happened? Nada! Nothing changed at all, because the external factors didn’t come to play as I had hoped they would.

Obviously, I did not win the lottery, which is not a tragedy for me, but it taught me a valuable lesson in life: relying on external factors to change your life for the better means to hand over the responsibility over your life to untrustworthy third parties.

Surprisingly, the “externalization issue” permeates our whole society on every level. We literally grow up with it and get used to it right from the beginning of life. And on certain levels it’s great to have externals that take care for us, like our parents that bring us up and the teachers that explain us how the world works. But we have become so accustomed to the whole concept that it became THE underlying foundation of many people’s lives, always reminding them to search for external guidance in every situation they find themselves in. The “externalization issue” expresses itself as the mocking voice in your head that continuously whispers that you’re not good enough, not strong enough, not intelligent enough and what have you. But the one thing this little voice will always suggest is that you need others to solve all your problems. Externals that are by far more intelligent, wealthy, handsome, (etc.) than you are, no matter if these “others” are politicians, activists, CEO’s, guru’s, extra-terrestrials, higher powers or even god(s).

Just look around and you will notice the diversity of the externalization concept. We look up to politicians that praise us change for the better, we consolidate opinion leaders to conceive an opinion and we have all of our favorite guru’s lined up, to make the most out of every situation in life. And don’t we admire those externals, because they “figured it all out”, were “chosen by god”, are in contact with “higher powers” – in short because they are seemingly (!) better than us? Besides all the admiration of how amazing these public figures are, we give our power away to others, hoping that they will do – whatever we hope and deeply desire – for us.

And the above named examples (politicians, guru’s, etc.) merely scratch the surface. If we continue to dig deeper into the rabbit hole, we can see that externalization surrounds us in every thinkable situation – even religion. All live long, we wait for external influences to suddenly show up and change our life for the positive. But the thing is, we have already everything we need for this change. You don’t need externals to help you, when you trust in yourself!

Trust in yourself!

1. Take responsibility for your life

How does one develop trust in oneself, if one had always managed to pass the blame for one’s mistakes to external circumstances? I mean, would you trust in yourself, if you had always found reasons outside yourself to blame for your mistakes? I guess not. The first step to develop faith in oneself has nothing to do with becoming overly confident, but with taking responsibility for one’s mistakes and failures. Playing the blame game makes you become the victim that is helpless and cannot change its fate. In short, you will always depend on others in some way or the other, when playing the “blaming victim”. But in reality, you’re only as long in a helpless situation for as long as you choose to play the blame game. But once you set yourself free from passing the blame to others you have taken the necessary responsibility over your life, which is the foundation for having trust in oneself.

2. Forgive yourself

Acknowledging one’s responsibility for the mistakes and failures in life should come hand in hand with the willingness to forgive yourself for these. Instead of blaming yourself for the mistakes you committed in the past, try to discover the lessons these failures/mistakes might have taught you. Thereby, you will understand the higher purpose underlying each and every one of your failures. It furthermore will help you to avoid making similar mistakes again. For more information see Stop worrying about failure.

How to forgive yourself?

Forgive yourself, by discovering the valuable lessons each and every one of your failures taught you! I know, failing can be tremendously painful and what not, but at least you can pat yourself on the back for having tried. For being courageous enough to do something, when you could have done nothing and for having gained another very valuable experience that will benefit you in your future. Make yourself aware of the fact that the only sure-fix way to avoid any failure is to do absolutely nothing! Therefore, consider your mistakes as learning experience; write down what that failure in 2005 and this mistake back in 2009 taught you and you’ll be stronger and wiser than before.

Learn to forgive yourself, which is – besides taking responsibility – the second most important groundwork towards building trust in oneself. Let go of the anger you hold against yourself and others – the state of resentment coupled with accusations against yourself isn’t a helpful background to develop trust in oneself, so let go of it. As an important side note, you don’t need to forgive yourself for being human – with all the character traits and weaknesses that come with it – just as you need not to blame yourself for making human mistakes. There’s no need to forgive yourself for being who you are, just as there is no need to be perfect.

3. Come to terms with your past

The story of the past is open to dispute, but there is one fact about it that no one can deny: the past cannot be changed. Wrong actions cannot be revoked, hurtful words cannot be withdrawn and the events you wish never would have happened cannot be changed. Just as much as anyone else I wish I never committed the biggest mistakes in my life, but I do know that all of them have become an inevitable part of my life, whether I accept it or not.

With this in mind, it becomes even clearer that worrying about what happened in the past and blaming it for your present situation will lead you next to nowhere. All it does is create just more pain and insecurities when facing a similar situation in the present. In order to regain the faith in yourself, come to terms with the past, accept that what’s been done is done without any hope of changing it. The only thing you can influence is the present; you can now start building a brighter future or remaining in remorse about the past for the rest of your life.

Coming to terms with the past…

…by making the most out of the present!

With the understanding that the past cannot be changed arises a feeling of helplessness in many. This is quite understandable, but there is absolutely no need to feel helpless, as the present can be changed, unlike the past, in every moment and every situation in the here and now. People begin to lose faith in themselves when they (mistakenly) realize that they have no control about their past and/or their life in general, which is a fallacy. You can always be in control of your future! This is why it is so vital not to let the past take control of the present, as it steals you the only chance for change you have.

Keep in mind that the actions of today create the future you will be living in. If you built the future based on the foundation of trust in yourself, there’s nothing to lose for you!

4. Follow your heart/intuition

Having trust in oneself does not only imply that you have faith in your abilities and skills, but also that you are courageous enough to follow your intuition, whenever this inner guidance and wisdom gives you advices. It takes a lot of courage to follow where the heart leads, especially when the ego/rational mind suggests you not do, but it also takes a lot of faith in oneself to do so. Therefore, listening to your intuition will strengthen the trust you have in yourself, allowing you to further rely on your own strengths and abilities.

Synopsis on how to follow the heart:

• Quiet your rational mind
• Practice meditation
• Don’t force things – go with the flow
• Keep an intuitive journal to notice the messages
• Trust in your intuition
• Get creative
• Listen to your body signals
• Follow spontaneous thoughts

The “mystery” of following one’s heart would go beyond the scope of this article and it really deserves an article of its own, which can be found here: How to listen to your heart?

5. Trusting yourself vs. seeking advice from others

A tell-tale sign of a person that – to put it politely – doesn’t trust in itself much, is the excessive use of another person’s input, when it comes to decision-making. And I believe we all have met people in our lives – may they be classmates, fellow students or colleagues – who would always ask each individual in the social circle about their opinion, before making a decision on their own. Interestingly enough, whenever I experienced this “phenomena”, no life-changing decisions needed to be met, but the most trivial decisions of every-day life one can think of, like the choice on whether to go to the canteen for lunch or to order a pizza. But please don’t get me wrong here, considering the input and guidance of others in a wise way, especially when it comes to life-changing decisions, can never be a bad thing, but meeting a decision based on the opinion of others can be – especially when lacking trust in yourself.

The balancing act of seeking advice

Seeking the counsel and guidance of another person, when having to meet a life-changing decision, can be a very important thing. It might help you to see things from another perspective and gives you the opportunity to learn from the wisdom your guide has gathered throughout his life. The exchange with others can be very supportive; it will show you new possibilities where you hadn’t expected an alternative, new solutions and different approaches, when confronted with a seemingly unsolvable problem.

On the other hand, seeking advice from externals on a daily basis, no matter how insignificant the decision that needs to be met, can have a devastating effect on the faith you have into yourself. This is the reason I named it “the balancing act of seeking advice” as you need to find the right balance in between finalizing a decision solely by trusting into your own abilities and the situation you need to seek guidance from others. As a rule of thumb, feel into yourself and seek for your inner guidance/knowing and you will know what the best is for you. And should you still be in doubt about an important decision that needs to be met, consult others and consider their input.

6. Become the master of your life

If you are a regular reader of this website, you’ll know that I’m not a big fan of all the “guru-ism” out there, id est the continuous search for individuals that the masses can look up to, which is (by the way) just another form of externalization. This article is all about self-empowerment and the development of trust in oneself, so it’s important to understand the dangers that “guru worship” can have on the faith a person has in itself.

The dangers of “guru worship”

1. You’ll never transcend your teacher
2. You become dependent on another person’s guidance
3. You’re not equal to your guru and never will be
4. You run danger of becoming biased against any kind of knowledge/information that is beyond the scope of what your guide teaches. That way, you limit yourself in your own growth

I rather prefer to empower my readers, instead of turning them into my followers. With having this in mind, I would like to encourage you to become the master of your life in order to increase the faith you have in yourself. Be your own guru, instead of looking up to others! You are the one and only who has all the knowledge about every aspect of your being, ranging from your character to the experiences you’ve made and the difficulties you’re facing in life. No one else does have this sort of knowledge, except of you! When it comes to your life, you’re the only authority and – so to say – the only master that will always accompany you, no matter where your path takes you!

None of the experts or guru’s have studied you personally, they didn’t walk in your shoes and haven’t experienced life from your perspective. Instead, they share the techniques that work for them, in their situation and their life, which doesn’t necessarily has to work for you as well. Therefore, my recommendation to become the master of your life!

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-trust is the essence of heroism.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

All in all, developing trust in yourself means to get to know yourself better. It’s the continuous search for what works for you and what doesn’t. With faith in yourself you can achieve whatever you aspire, without it you’ve already lost. Also, if you want to increase the faith you have in yourself, be trustworthy with others and give them the kind of trust you would like to receive from them.

This article was brought to you by Personal Development Blog.

Incoming search terms for the article:

• trust in oneself (2)
• developing trust in yourself (1)
• finding your path trusting yourself (1)
• keeping the trust within yourself and others (1)
• problem solving developing trust (1)
• problems trusting yourself (1)
• think of time when someone taught you a valuable lesson in life (1)

The heart, your intuition or gut feeling – no matter how you prefer to label it – is so much more than just an organ or a mere feeling; it’s the creativeness of the universe speaking right through you. It’s the essence of many people’s spiritual and emotional wisdom and a valuable guidance from deep within.

Feel free to jump to How to listen to your heart to skip the basics

Table of content:
What does it mean to listen to the heart?
Why is it so important to listen to your intuition?
How does the heart/intuition make itself felt?
How to listen to the heart?
Closing words

What does it mean to listen to your heart?

In the old days, the heart was thought to be the seat of emotions, where noble and gentle traits such as kindness and compassion were stemming from. Ancient philosophers and scientists such as Aristotle and the Roman physician Galen considered the heart as the seat of thought, emotion, passion and reason.

Language is slow to adapt to scientific knowledge, so whenever a person suggest you to “listen to your heart” it basically means that you should try to listen to your feelings and emotions (that the ancient believed to stem from the heart), instead of using reason and logic of the intellect. It also means that you should try to become aware of your feelings and trust them as inner guidance that ushers you through life, rather than trying to suppress this stream of inner wisdom.

When I was younger, I misunderstood the concept of listening to the heart as becoming overly emotional or sensitive, hence suppressing any logic and reason, allowing panic and animalistic behavior to take over. This is not what “thinking with the heart” is all about, quite the contrary. It has nothing to do with panicking, becoming unreasonable or irrational and the like. Instead, it is all about calmness, inner peace and the tapping into the “universal wisdom” that is located within each and every one of us, allowing it to guide you through life.

Since the very beginning of adolescence, we have become accustomed of finalizing a decision by using the rational tools our brain provides, namely logic, reason and rationality – especially when it’s a life-changing decision that needs to be made. But not every rational and calculated decision fits your needs. And not every decision that is based on logic has taken the importance of your personal wellbeing and happiness into account. Au contraire, logic and reason can fool you into believing that a given decision is the best for you, leaving your heart outvoted behind. Just imagine the severe consequences for a person that changes jobs in order to increase his salary (rational and logic thinking), when his heart clearly knows that it will require him to leave his beloved family, go abroad and work overtime daily. The heart doesn’t care about money, luxury and the collection of tangibles. But it cares a lot about your (and your family’s) well-being, happiness and your personal/spiritual development.

Why is it so important to listen to your intuition?

The mind is capable of the most beautiful creative works of art; it’s the root of brilliant scientific theories and the origin of inventive solutions for complicated problems. But, the mind is also caught up within the boundaries of this physical life and the drama and fear that come with it. It can be hopelessly out of touch with your true essence, the source of wisdom emanating from within and the knowledge of who you truly are.

Your true heart is not subject to chaos or limited by pain, fear and neuroses, but is joyful, creative and loving. Some believe the heart can be too uncertain and even misguided, but that is the head talking! It is actually a source of great richness, and this wealth is one that cannot be squandered or lost. It is the core, the essence of your being, a reservoir of joy, powerful love and infinite compassion that lies within you.

Ed and Deb Shapiro, in Listen Up! Why Being in Your Heart is Better Than In Your Head

Whenever you’re facing a decision, it is your mind that will come up with a reasonable conclusion, whereby it is creating a strong bias against any suggestions that come from your intuition, thus labeling them – superficially – as irrational and unwise. And this is exactly the reason why it is so tempting to listen to the rational mind, as we are attuned to meeting rational and reasonable decisions. Taking a seemingly illogical decision is frowned upon, even though it could turn out to be the best for you.

On the contrary, when listening to the wisdom emanating from deep within, you will begin to experience unexpected but supportive synchronicities, things will show up when needed and lessons will be taught once you are ready to perceive their contents, always accompanied by the knowing that your heart will always take care of you.

How does the heart/intuition make itself felt?

Messages from the heart do not come down the path of the red carpet, accompanied by trumpets, trombones and fireworks. Instead, it’s a profound realization or spontaneous but grounded thought emerging from deep within, providing a greater understanding of a given subject. In many cases, the language your heart chooses to speak makes itself felt as a subtle hunch, gut feeling or a sudden thought concerning a given event, a person or your life. But there are a lot more ways your intuition can communicate to you, for instance through bodily sensations, for example when your stomach ties up in a knot.

A decision that is being made based on your intuition will – in many cases – feel like “the right thing to do”. You simply know it from deep within in a state of peace and tranquility. There is no need to ponder the pros and cons. You simply know. And – surprisingly – the implementation and realization of such a decision will often turn out to be amazingly effortless, like floating with the stream of a river. That feeling is what I call “going with the flow of the universe”.

Following one’s inner guidance does not come with pressure, pain, anxiety or a burden. There are no repercussions if you do not follow your inner voice. On the other hand, the ego (also rational thinking) might do exactly this; it may place a burden on your shoulders, accompanied by the fear of failure and pressure.

How to listen to your heart?

Now that we cleared up the basics on the concept of listening to the heart, we can now focus on the many possible ways to allow your intuition to guide you through life.

#1 Quiet your rational mind

The rational mind can be seen as a parasitic frequency that hampers the process of tuning into your intuition. It distorts, hijacks and – most important of all – it judges the messages emanating from the heart, as it has a strong bias against these advices, labeling them as irrational and illogical. In order to tune into the frequency of our hearts, we have to give the rational mind its well deserved break, especially in the initial phases of learning how to listen to the intuition. Once you are accustomed to the way the heart makes itself felt, it’ll become easier for you to differentiate between rational thinking and your intuition, hence making it not necessary anymore to calm the rational mind down in order to listen to the heart.

There are many ways to calm down the mind, thereby allowing you to decrease the influence of its rational and critical thinking. One approach would be to occupy the mind, by chanting or thinking a mantra, over and over.

The word “mantra” is derived from two Sanskrit words. The first is “manas” or “mind,” which provides the “man” syllable [editors note: “man-” = “to think”]. The second syllable is drawn from the Sanskrit word “trai” meaning to “protect” or to “free from”. Therefore, the word mantra in its most literal sense means “to free from the mind.” [A] Mantra is, at its core, a tool used by the mind which eventually frees one from the vagaries of the mind.

Thomas Ashley-Farrand on Sanskritmantra.com

Repeating a mantra inside your head (or aloud), for instance the popular mantra OM (spoken “aum”), allows you to occupy the mind with its sound and vibration, which thereby facilitates the understanding of the massages from the intuition. Mantras furthermore aid you in focusing your thoughts and serve – in many cases – the purpose of accessing the knowledge within. You are not required to have any special skills to apply mantras. Just place yourself in a comfortable chair or sit in the lotus position on the ground, inhale and exhale deeply and try to relax your body as much as possible. Focus on chanting/humming the mantra (or thinking it within your head), over and over again, until there are no interrupting thoughts from your mind. Just enjoy the state of inner calmness and peace, once you calmed your mind down.

Excellent mantras to occupy the mind:

• OM – “Aum” – the sacred syllable representing the source of life
• OM MANI PADME HUM – the mantra to awaken the intuition
• OM SHANTI – the mantra for (inner) peace

There are many more ways to quiet the mind, besides mantras. In general, anything that aids you in becoming relaxed and calm so that you can contemplate or let your thoughts wander is just fine! For some, taking a long walk in the park or a bike tour through nature is such an activity, others prefer listening to calming music.

Just when you were surrounded by silence and calmness, your mind engulfed in stillness, without expecting anything, intuition will make its voice heard. It could be a sudden thought that pierces your mind or a gut feeling evolving from within.

Taken from The truth is within

Another excellent way to calm down the mind that can be used in combination with a mantra is meditation, which brings us the next point.

#2 Practice meditation

Meditation is such a fantastic way to get to know yourself better and it’s much more than just a technique for relaxation, as many consider it to be. There are as many different meditation techniques as there are a dime a dozen. Luckily, it doesn’t take years of practice of the most complicated techniques for you to improve your intuition. A simplistic meditation in the lotus position, or on a comfortable chair, for 10-20 minutes a day is sufficient.

How to practice meditation to develop intuition?

1. Sit down in a comfortable upright position
2. Make sure that your spine is straight
3. Focus your attention on your respiratory organs
4. Feel the natural flow of air entering and leaving your body
5. Allow your mind to calm down, while you focus on breathing
6. [Optional] Begin to vocalize the mantra of your choice
7. Watch as your mind begins to ease, enjoy the inner peace
8. Enjoy the tranquility and go with what feels natural to you
9. If a thought begins to arise, think and contemplate about it
10. If a certain scenario/day-dream begins to unfold, follow it
11. Remain in the meditative state as long as it feels right

Practicing meditation aids you in recognizing and strengthening your intuitive senses, allowing you to access the stream of inner knowledge from deep within. But in order to access this stream, it is important not to force anything, while in the meditative state, which leads us to the next point.

#3 Go with the flow

The title of this paragraph – “go with the flow” – emphasizes how important it is not to force your intuition to make itself felt. Instead, allow things to unfold in a natural flow – just like you would allow a flower to unfold without making the (doomed to fail) attempt of ripping it open. There is really no need to force anything to happen. Forcing things is counter-productive, as it is more likely to cause mental barriers than it will encourage your heart to speak up.

You should also not expect your intuition to suddenly speak up in a crystal clear voice, beginning to guide you through life from one day to the other. That’s not the way things work. Having too high expectations will only make you become disappointed, if nothing “significant” happens, when trying to listen to your heart. Expect nothing, but be open to anything.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Your intuition will make itself felt, but it might not be the way you expected it to happen. It will communicate in a subtle and calm way, sometimes in the form of an unexpected thought or idea. Also, messages from the heart can be profound realizations that come with a feeling of peace and calmness associated with it.

#4 Notice the messages from your heart

Your heart has spoken to you all life long and it will continue to do so in the future. But if you do not contemplate on the advices it gave you and what kind of positive benefits emerged from following its guidance, you will simply overlook the fact it was your “higher-self” guiding you. Therefore, it’s so important to take a note every time you’ve followed the guidance of your heart and it turned out to be an improvement in your life or whenever your intuition was right about something. Doing so, will allow you to discover a pattern that all messages from within have in common, the unique way YOUR heart makes itself felt to YOU.

Further recommendation to notice the messages from the heart:

Keep an intuitive journal where you note not only the times you’ve successfully followed your intuition, but also where you write down intuitive thoughts whenever one crosses your mind. The log can include anything, from a sudden hunch about an upcoming event up to guesses about a certain situation. Make sure to also log the physical sensations associated with these strokes of intuition, for instance if you feel discomfort or pleasure, anxiety or joy, etc. Keeping a log will allow you to strengthen your trust in the intuition.

When I commenced to tap into the wisdom emanating from within, I began – slowly but surely – to follow the guidance of my heart, without even realizing it. It was a sudden thought about eating some more vegetables here and a hunch about a person’s intention there. Overall, nothing special, but in the end it always turned out to be a great improvement for me when I followed my gut feeling.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched but are felt in the heart.”
Helen Keller

Nowadays, I eat a lot less meat (twice a week) and a lot more vegetables; I meditate daily and stir my creativity wherever I can. But what is so important about all these changes is that they came without a struggle, without a fight and without me having to force myself. All of them came with a quick, but profound realization and all of a sudden I changed a year-long habit from one day to the other, having gained an even deeper understanding of what’s right for me and what’s not.

#5 Trust in your intuition

Intuition can be best described as the knowing of something, without knowing how you came to know it. You just know. Your intuition can be the gut feeling that warns you about a seemingly friendly person (that turns out to be dangerous), the hunch about an upcoming event or even the precise knowledge of what time it is, before looking at the clock. It’s not so important to know or understand where these (and similar) knowings come from, but it’s important to acknowledge the validity of it and to trust this source of information.

But who am I to tell you about the strength of intuition? Go find it out for yourself! I encourage you to challenge your intuition in order to discover its underlying strength for yourself. Challenging the intuition is so simple and does not even require you to turn your life upside down: simply come to a decision as usual (by using logic) and compare – at a later date – where your intuition would have led you. So, the next time a decision needs to be made, contemplate about it, listen within for some time and write down in what direction the guidance from your heart/intuition would direct you. Afterwards you can meet the decision the way you are used to, by using logic, reason and the intellect.

A month later or so, see where logic and reason has led you and compare the result with the direction your heart would have led you. You need to find out for yourself what result would have been the best for you. There is a lot of trial and error involved with this, which gives you the chance to figure out what happens when you follow your intuition and what the result is when you ignore its guidance and choose the path that logic suggests instead. Experiment with this and discover what astonishing outcome can be accomplished when meeting a decision that makes use of both, the guidance of your heart and the intellect, which brings us to the next important point.

#6 Don’t disregard the intellect

The above advices (especially #1 Quiet the rational mind) may come across a little negative against the intellect. I’m very well aware of this, which is why I have chosen to stress out the importance not to neglect the role of the intellect, when trying to listen to your heart. I know this sounds like a contradiction in itself (oxymoron), but please allow me to explain.

The advices named in the above (#1, etc.) can be considered important exercises that support you in the initial stages of learning to understand the language from your heart – a phase in which the logical mind is more harmful than helpful. But the more experienced you become, the easier it will be for you to understand the way your heart speaks, allowing you to differentiate between your ego and your heart easily. Hence, there is no reason to keep the intellect suppressed. In general, the intellect shouldn’t be dismissed at all.

If you were given two powerful tools (here: intellect and intuition) you wouldn’t drop one of them, right? Without the intellect, you couldn’t understand the messages emanating from the heart, without the intuition (or emotional aspect of the mind) one cannot utilize the full potential of the intellect.

Still, if we look at our society, it becomes distinct that people tend to polarize to the extremes, which is in this case either logic or intuition. This also means that there is a growing number of people who reject either the important role of intuition or the role the intellect plays. The number of scientists is growing and with it grows the number of people who solely rely on logic, reason and evidence. On the other hand, the numbers of those relying solely on their emotions or believes for guidance is increasing as well. Unfortunately, both sides are extremes that neglect the one or the other, which is why I personally prefer the middle way.

#7 Get creative

Many say creativity is the expression of the soul and I wholeheartedly agree with that. You can think of creativity as the gateway to a realm of life that is way beyond the intellect. Imagination, creativity, inspiration and sensuality are all trait that can be attributed to the heart, figuratively speaking. Therefore, one of the easiest ways to encourage the heart to speak up is by engaging it in a creative way.

It again doesn’t matter so much if creativity is just the expression of your heart or even of something much greater and powerful, but it is for a fact that creativity doesn’t emerge from the intellect. The great painters such as van Gogh, inspiring composers such as van Beethoven, stunning musicians and artists that made you speechless with their wonderful creations have used many tools ranging from creativity and imagination – rationality, logic and reason are none of them.

By engaging in creative activities – no matter if you draw an artwork, take photos, make music or create a masterpiece – your heart will speak through you. Creative works will strengthen your connection with the heart and will allow you to discover the things in life you are really passionate about. For further advices on how to stir creativity, please see the article Ways to Enhance Creativity.

#8 Listen to your body signals

Your heart can make itself felt as a sudden thought that seemingly appears out of nowhere, but for many people, intuition manifests in body signals as well. Just remember the last time your stomach tied up in a knot without a reason, preceding an accident of yours. Or, the sense of peacefulness and joy, when you were going to meet a decision that you knew – from deep within your heart – was right for you. The feeling of calmness without a need for justification to yourself and no pondering of the consequences; you just knew it was the best for you.

Your body is capable of translating the intuitive messages that are sent to you from the heart. It gives intuition a voice to speak with, in a basic way that is easy to understand. When your intuition, speaking through your body, wants to let you know that “something is not right”, it will manifest as the “knot in the stomach”, a feeling of sickness, inner distress or tightness in the chest, but can also make the throat feel as if it was constricted. On the other hand, when going with the flow of intuition and when the things you do are right for you, your body will signal that too. For me, it’s the sense of peacefulness I notice when finally meeting a difficult decision, or the inner knowledge that I’m doing the right thing – without a doubt. But it also manifests as joy, an increase in motivation and energy, enhanced creativity, synchronicities in your life or – what many describe as – the feeling of going with the flow of the universe.

Listening to your body and thereby connecting with a “spokesperson” of your intuition will give you access to a very powerful source of information that you would have otherwise disregarded as “just another annoying bodily sensation”. Especially when you receive “something’s wrong” messages, you should really pay attention to what your heart has to tell.

#9 Follow spontaneous & intuitive thoughts

I’m sure every one of us knows the feeling when a spontaneous thought pops up that makes us all excited and energized about a certain idea. But a couple of minutes later, doubts begin to surface and – from one moment to the other – the rational mind has regained control of the situation, by giving you a dozen reasons why you shouldn’t follow where the intuitive thought would have led you.

I say, have the courage to follow your intuitive ideas. See where they lead you. Be spontaneous – not every action needs to be thought through, especially if the outcome is minimal without risks involved. If you get the sense to take another route to work, do it! If you feel you should call a friend, by any means do it! Allow your intuition speak through your spontaneity.

#10 Ask yourself a question and see who answers

… you’ll be surprised by the spontaneous answers that pop into your mind, when asking yourself a question. An occurrence that happened way to often to me to be mere coincidence is that I got up in the morning, asking myself what time it is. And right before I could make a guess or estimate how long I slept, I had a feeling what time it is. I just knew it was 10:47, there was no guessing involved. Immediately thereafter, I got up, had a look at my alarm and was shocked to see the exact same time displayed on my clock – there was not even a minute difference. If I had the feeling it was 10:47 the clock would show 10:47, not 46 and not 48, but 47!

You can also make use of this “spontaneous answer by intuition” thing, by asking yourself (or more precisely your intuition) a question and by listening to the answers that pop into your mind. You will notice that – once the question is asked – a dozen of thoughts, ideas and answers will cross your mind, but this is not what we are looking for. Instead, search for the inner knowing as soon as the question is asked. If you’re very experienced with this, the inner knowing will indicate for a split second earlier the answer to your question, before the ego trashes these answers with doubts, accompanied by your rational mind.

Here’s an example

You want to see if your favorite football team is going to win today, so you

1. Ask yourself the question
2. Wait for the spontaneous answers to show up
3. Within a split second you know that the team is going to lose
4. Another hundredth of a second later, you’re not so sure anymore. Doubts will begin to surface, all the rational pro’s and con’s will cross your mind until you’re entirely confused.

The difficulty lies therein to differentiate between the first initial thought (= the knowing) and the answers provided by the rational mind, etc. (= the rational guessing). Note that the process described in the above happens within a hundredth of a split second, so it takes a lot of exercise to differentiate knowing from the ego, or rational guessing.

You can train this skill, simply by allowing your intuition to meet unimportant decisions in your life, for example by asking yourself “Should I take a Coke, Pepsi or a glass of water for dinner today?” Pick the alternative that immediately pops into your mind – you can’t make a mistake here. But always try to ignore the doubts from your ego or rational mind that will surface, like “You never drink a glass of water”, or “Everyone else drinks Coke n Pepsi for dinner, don’t be such a maverick!”

Closing words

Have the courage to go where your heart leads you! If your feelings indicate you that something doesn’t feel right, listen to it. Don’t allow others and peer pressure to take control over your life, forcing you along a path that is not meant for you. Do not shy away from listening to your feelings. Listen to your heart and you will always know what is right for you and what not. Have trust in your intuition, your inner voice and the instinct of your body.

The guidance of the heart is available to everyone, wherever and whenever you need it. The instigation of the dialogue with your heart can be though at times, but the more experienced you get, the deeper your connection with your intuition will become.

“Everyone has intuition. The more you acknowledge it, the stronger and more accurate it gets,”
Marla Mitchell

Start looking inside of you for the answers to the questions you have asked yourself all life long. There are some questions about life that everyone can only answer for himself.

“The only way to get what you really want, is to know what you really want. And the only way to know what you really want, is to know yourself. And the only way to know yourself, is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart.”
Mike Dooley

The following articles may also be of interest for you:

• The truth is within you!
• Live your life to the fullest
• Stop worrying about failing
• How to develop empathy?
• Have the courage to be different

Incoming search terms for the article:

• how to listen to your heart (103)
• don\t let success go to your head or failure go to your heart-how will i implement it in our life (1)
• what does it mean to listen with ur heart (1)
• should you do what ponders in your gut (1)
• should we lisining to the mind or heart aristotle (1)
• om shanti mantra to hear inner guidance (1)
• listen to your heart when you are (1)
• languages are not required to talk with your heart (1)
• if brains cannot think then listen what your heart says (1)
• what does profound thoughts of the heart mean (1)

And even though we are all occupied with our jobs and the struggles of life – the inexplicable remains, its questions remain veiled within the back of the mind for years, but eventually they begin to arise, once more, stronger than before.

• What is the truth behind all that is?
• What’s the meaning and purpose of life?
• Why am I here on this planet?
• Is humanity a mere coincidence, or were we created?
• Are there extraterrestrial life forms out there?
• What’s the purpose of my life?
  
• Is there a god, or a higher intelligence?
• What happens after you’ve died? Is there a life after death?

And I’m sure these questions only scratch the surface as there are a lot more in-depth questions people are scratching their heads on, day after day.

I think we can agree that – at least many of us – are on the quest to discover the truth and the meaning behind life and all that is, no matter what this “truth” will turn out to be. Some of us may be actively searching for this type of truth, from within the remains of long forgotten societies to modern laboratories; others might rely on external guides to present them the truth, from gurus to spiritual leaders and yet others are trying to discover answers to their seemingly inexplicable questions in their everyday life. Interestingly enough, we get to know a lot of people during this journey that are presenting their claims and believes as fact or even go so far to call these statements “the only and absolute truth”. Yet, their believes – even though proclaimed to be backed up by “irrefutable evidence” – still remain these people’s personal truths, not the one and only truth. We only have to look back in our history to see that there were many conflicts of two or more opposing ideologies/opinions, all claiming for themselves to be “the one and only”, whereas all the others were regarded as misguided and false.

What is so important to understand is that you will seldom – if not never – find a person knowing the all-engrossing truth about everything that is, was, and will be. Sure enough, there are many that have discovered pieces and fractions of it, but to see the big picture in its wholeness is simply not possible for most human beings, as of yet. Another point that I deem important to address is the fact that whatever another person considers to be their truth, doesn’t necessarily have to be your truth whatsoever.

Mahatma Ghandi

What may appear as truth to one person will often appear as untruth to another person. But that need not worry the seeker. ~ Mohandas K. “Mahatma” Ghandi

Furthermore, it is so crucial to understand that believes are highly dependent on the perspective and level of experience of a given person. If you would compare the descriptions of a thunder-storm by a modern day person and someone living in the 10th century, you would have two completely different stories, one involving modern day knowledge and science, the other one about gods and the like. A boringly normal lighter from our advanced society could become the idolized “lightening of the gods” of an Indian tribe living in the Amazonas, far away from civilization.

The truth is within you!

The astonishing thing is that the truth lies within you, it will always be with you everywhere you go and waits to be discovered, little by little, when the time is ready and you are capable of comprehending the meaning that comes with it. External sources can guide you, they can show you the direction, but ultimately it takes no outward things to discover what always had been centered within you. The question is:

I. How to discover the truth within?

1. Listen when your heart speaks

At some point in life, the answers that external sources provide do no longer satisfy the pursuer of the truth. Everything that could be discovered has been discovered, and every dot that could be connected has been connected. That’s an inevitable stage during the pursuit of the truth, but it also offers the opportunity to tune into the stream of infinite wisdom that originates from deep within you. There are as many names for this amazing inner wisdom as there are clouds in the sky, but the most common descriptions are “the inner voice”, “intuition” or goes simply by the depiction of “listening to what the heart is telling one”.

The difficulty with this inner voice is that it won’t start a regular conversation with you, just like a person would. Its guidance is more subtle, sometimes you will happen to notice synchronicities in your life, at another day there is this thought out of nowhere that keeps your mind busy for the rest of the day. You might not even notice at first sight that a positive development in your life originated from such a “fortuitous” thought from deep within you or from an intuitive feeling. That’s until you look back to realize how randomly this thought seemed to have appeared in your day-to-day life and how positive it affected your life.

Following your intuition and listening to what your heart has to tell you is a fantastic way to discover what the wisdom of your higher-self has to offer for you. And surprisingly, many of the journeys led by intuition will enable you to really do what you enjoy doing, something that many describe as “going with the flow of the universe” or “walking on the path of god”.

But how do you “encourage” the inner voice to share some of its wisdom with you? An excellent way to comfort intuition to unfold is meditation, as it aids you in calming down your mind, becoming quite and relaxed. In general, any activity that allows you to relax and supports you in calming your active mind down is excellent for this purpose.

2. Encourage the stillness of the mind

Meditation, for instance Buddhist meditation, is only but one way to seek inner guidance. Generally, everything that allows you to contemplate and aids you in letting your thoughts wander is perfect for this, for instance taking a long walk, an eased tour with your bike or simply gazing at the stars, letting whatever thoughts that come to mind arise.

Just when you were surrounded by silence and calmness, your mind engulfed in stillness, without expecting anything, intuition will make its voice heard. It could be a sudden thought that pierces your mind or a gut feeling evolving from within. It’s that “you could eat some more vegetables” thought that comes to a person who ate preferably meat throughout his whole life, or the “smoking does you no good” feeling to a person that has smoked cigarettes for ten or more years.

With some experience, you will perceive the way that intuition – or your inner voice – makes itself noticed and you might even begin to appreciate its guidance throughout your day-to-day life. Sudden thoughts are a tell-tale sign for your intuition to have spoken up, especially when they lead over the course of some days to significant and positive changes in your life.

As a side note, it is important to differentiate between the supportive voice of intuition and your not-so-supportive ego. The path that your ego advises you to take will encumber a burden on your shoulders, accompanied by anxiety, confusion, a feeling of turmoil and most important of all, the fear of failure. As opposed to this, suggestions made by your inner voice or intuition always come with a deeper understanding, a feeling of peace and tranquility. There is no fear associated with it and no pressure exerted onto you. It would simply feel right for you to do what your intuition suggested, deep within, but there is also no problem associated with ignoring the thought either.

3. Trust yourself and know yourself

As incomprehensible as it might sound at this particular moment, you already knew the truth, a long time before you began searching for it. At least that was what I began to realize the more dots I connected and the more vivid the pieces of the mosaic – “the bigger picture” – became. At first there was the framework, things that I knew from deep within myself since childhood, thoughts that randomly appeared during the different stages of my life. Later in life, I began to discover increasingly more details of the picture within this framework, noticing that the thoughts I had trivialized as merely a child’s vivid imagination had become the foundation of what I was unearthing. And just to clarify this, the childlike conclusions I had drawn at that time were really nothing special; there weren’t even many of them, but I still remember each of those in their full complexity, like the predominant thought that we are all the same, no matter what skin colors, religion or physical distances separate us superficially.

4. Be patient, insight will come to you when ready

Don’t try to force the all illuminating truth to enlighten you from one day to the other, that’s simply not possible and will most likely decrease your motivation drastically. Instead, be patient and know that each piece of the “mosaic of truth” will reveal itself to you when you are ready to perceive it. You can think about this as a complex process, where the events in your life, thereof gained experiences and drawn conclusions will have to tie in with each other in perfect synchronicity to prepare you for the knowledge that another insight reveals to you. These are the adventures that have to be mastered and the keys to be discovered to unlock the massive gates to yet another part of the whole.

Each truth can only be understood, when you are ready to receive it.

I’m sure you understand this principle from your personal life. Well, I do. For instance when I was a little child, I couldn’t believe that earth was a round object. How could all the adults be so wrong about this?. The ground I was walking on was flat, there were no coves, so I felt encouraged in my assumption that earth was a disc. That’s until I grew older and began to understand gravity and how enormous this planet truly is in order to realize that it in fact is a round object. And the same goes for “the truth”, or “the bigger picture”. If you are not ready for it, you won’t accept it for what it is, until certain knowledge, experiences and thereof drawn wisdom will prove you otherwise. If someone would have tried to elucidate some of the insights he gained throughout his life, I simply would have laughed at him (several years ago), not understanding what he meant or what he was talking about.

That’s exactly what is so tricky about the truth and the insights that come with it. A person could write down all the knowledge that has become his personal “truth” within the numerous pages of a book, yet people would dismiss it as fantasy, fiction and nonsense, if they haven’t drawn similar conclusions in their life’s.

II. Discovering the truth – the conventional way

Luckily, you do not have to rely solely on the truth to be found deep within you. There is also a “conventional path” that might lead you to your personal truth and insight. I’ve therefore chosen to include this section that discusses some important remarks to keep in mind, when searching for the truth. May I present: the facts about “the truth”.

True personal enlightenment goes hand in hand with knowledge. The problem about knowledge is that there is so much of it out there – in every kind of field from astrology to quantum physics – that you cannot possibly absorb it all. Therefore, it’s a matter of where you look and whom you are listening to.

#1 The truth has to be discovered

While this statement sounds logical, I want to emphasize the importance that – whatever you might regard as – the truth cannot be found by listening to the words of one person alone, no matter if these words are written in a book, a website or spoken in an impressive speech. Rather, it is up to you to discover piece after piece and to connect the dots, in order to understand the so important bigger picture. If I was to imagine myself traveling through time to meet my 18 year old younger-self, explaining myself all the insights I had gained through life I know that he would disregard everything I said, laughing about the verbiage. The point is that it takes a lot of in-depth and open-minded research to gain the knowledge that allows you to blink through the veil and understand fractions of the bigger picture.

The truth really has to be discovered, it has to be connected out of seemingly unrelated bits of knowledge. Notwithstanding, small pieces of the truth are to be found everywhere, from spiritual perspectives to the newest scientific discoveries. That’s what makes it so valuable to be interested in a vast range of different topics.

#2 There’s no firework indicating the truth

There will be no fireworks or exultation when you hit upon an insight on life. It feels rather like a profound realization emerging from within, espousing the building of the framework for a much bigger picture. So, instead of anticipating a stunning magical event, search for the deep realizations that provide satisfaction and a greater understanding of the whole magnitude of all that is.

#3 Leave no stone unturned

I think we can agree on the fact that the internet (or your local library) is literally stuffed with knowledge, making it even more difficult for those on the quest for the all-embracing truth. We have also concluded that it is very difficult – or unlikely – for one person alone to have an in depth understanding about all that is and the universal truth. Surely, there are a handful of individuals who have figured out many pieces of the puzzle, but there is an opposing army of those who only think they “figured it all out”, unknowingly deluding themselves and many others.

In order to widen your perspective, investigate ranges of subjects that interest you, leave no stone unturned and listen to what the experts have to say, but also try to discover the opinion of those that oppose these specialists. Have in mind that people are only sharing THEIR insights and THEIR interpretation thereof, a lot of it being highly influenced by their cultural and societal backgrounds, their education and believe system, or by those who pay them. But if you are willing to educate yourself about a vast range of topics, ranging from science, religion, metaphysics, history, physics, astrology, ancient societies and many more, you will spot similarities; you will see consensuses and accordances allowing you to grasp fractions of the bigger picture.

What is so interesting about this “bigger picture” is that you distinguish no longer between the different cultures, religions and their different interpretation, but you start noticing that everyone’s talking the same language – that of the truth, with their own personal “spin” attached to it. Always keep in mind that the more points of references you have, the better your ability to grasp the whole magnitude of all that is.

#4 Judge from within

On your quest for the truth, you will come along many topics that seem to be just “out there” and so different from anything that you have ever heard. You will hear people speaking about things that our modern day status quo of knowledge disputes to exist. Yet, many of those are sincere and regular people talking in the greatest detail of what they experienced or apparently know. In the end, it is important to investigate whatever topic that resonates deep within you. Make your heart your personal “idiocy indicator”, but also allow your heart to judge the legitimacy of what your brain considers to be pure science fiction. If you trust your heart, you will know who is sincere and who is right-out fooling you.

#5 Remain as open minded as possible

Having a prejudiced mindset about the whole world that surrounds you will hinder you from discovering new ideas and concepts, new approaches and mindsets and surprising realizations that provide you a further understanding of all that is. You’re doing yourself not a favor by being biased only to conform to your personal believes and to remain within the comfortable zone of nescience, but if you chose to do so, that is fine too.

Truth only reveals itself when one gives up all preconceived ideas. ~ Shoseki

#6 Assume you know just 1% of all that is

An excellent way to remain as open minded as possible is to always clarify that all the knowledge you have put together, the dots you connected and the insights you gained thereof add up to only 1% of all that is. If you were standing in front of a painting, the 1% we are speaking about would resemble a tiny little square, leaving the rest of the painting undiscovered. The “1% assumption” is the assurance to not fall into the very comfortable zone of naivety, prohibiting you from uncovering further realizations about the all engrossing truth. Even if you think you discovered the truth, search further and further to widen your perspective.

#7 Be aware of the deception

Finally, the last aspect that is important to understand is that there is deception, both knowingly and unknowingly, being spread everywhere you come across during your journey for the truth. There are those who do not teach the foundation of their inner truth and the wisdom gained thereof, but chose to be a teacher of the concepts that others created. Listen to your heart and you will know what resonates with you and what does not.

You can listen to a thousand people, all of them presenting their own “truth”, but you will only find your truth within yourself. In fact, the only truth you will ever know in this lifetime resides deep within yourself.

Photo by loswl

This article was brought to you by our Spiritual Growth Blog.

Incoming search terms for the article:

• the truth within you (1)
• what does the truth lies within mean? (1)