Play it safe. Avoid these things.

Don't do a diet patch

2007-12-06T22:56:00.000-08:00

Alright, here is the deal. It has been proven (more or less) that living a healthy lifestyle (eating right and exercising) will lead to a healthier you.

If you are not going to take the time and effort to take care of your body, why in the world would you think that a shortcut like this is going to work?

I mean really. If you are overweight, stop eating so much or get some activity. Or both.

...

Oh, I am sorry did you want me to say more?

Thats all I got tonight. Do I really have to say more than that? We all know it is true.

Ok, I will say that this is not the only "shortcut" I am going to attack here. More to follow.

Don't link to me

2007-12-05T22:15:00.001-08:00

Well this was a freebie!

Don't link to me.

Also, don't link to these guys.

Don't Link To Us!

Don't Link to Us! links to sites that attempt to impose substantial restrictions on other sites that link to them. The Linking Policy for Don't Link to Us! precludes us from requesting permission to link to a site, and compels us to link directly to the targeted page (i.e., a "deep link") rather than to a site's home page. Descriptions of sites' linking policies generally are accurate (though often not complete) at the time they are posted here but are likely to change over time. On occasion a web site will modify its linking policy in response to public ridicule. Perhaps their appearance in Don't Link to Us! will help encourage some of these sites to move forward into the 20th century.

Forward this to everyone you know

2007-12-04T22:59:00.000-08:00

OMG, ROFLMAO, You HAVE to see this. When you are done, send it to everyone you know.

This is SOOOOOO tragic. Please read this and pass it on to everyone in your address book.

Be on the lookout for this one. It almost happened to me. My good friend's, half-cousin's, wife's, brother-in-law actually saw it happen. IT WILL SHOCK YOU. After you are done, pass it around. Everyone NEEDS to know about this.

AWWWW isn't this the CUUUTEST thing you have ever seen? Pass it on.

I don't normally pass these things along, BUT....

If you don't forward this to ten people in the next five minutes....

Listen up people (yes I mean YOU), that forward button was not designed for this. The fact that you CAN add EVERYONE in your address book to a single message and hit send DOES NOT mean you SHOULD. In fact, never in the history of the world has there been a need for EVERYONE you know to... anything.

The forward button is meant as a way for information that is RELEVANT and IMPORTANT to be passed along to an appropriate recipient. In rare occasions, it may be appropriate for more than one person.

If your mouse finger is itching for that forward button, here are some things to keep in mind:

1. DON'T DO IT.
2. If the information you are about to send has any verbiage ABOUT sending it along, DON'T DO IT.
3. If the information you are about to send carries a threat causing you to want to send it along, DON'T DO IT.
4. If you are adding people to the list that you have not communicated with recently and in a personal (one on one) way, DON'T DO IT.

You may not be destroying a forest with your carelessness, but you might as well. No one wants to see it. We would all rather sift through 100's of spam messages than read all the way to the end of your elaborate and 'clever' message only to realize it is just pointless nonsense.

We know you laughed, cried, gasped, spewed your milk/coffee/oj all over your monitor/keyboard or whatever it was you did when you read it. The thing is WE don't care.

Go find a real friend and tell them all about it. OR Print it out (I know, I know; the trees, the trees), fold it up, put it in your pocket and the next time you are with a real person, pull it out and read it to them... or better yet, unfold it and hand it to them and stand there looking all pleased with yourself and wait for the pat on the head (or shoulder) that you obviously so desperately need.

In case I STILL have not made myself clear, DO NOT FORWARD emails.

PLEASE STOP.

Ok, now copy this post into your email and forward it to everyone that you know forwards emails and make sure you add some kind of threat at the end about the painful abuse and probable death they will receive if they don't forward it to everyone they know.

You could probably assert that if they don't forward it, their head will explode as it very well might when they try to figure out if they are supposed to forward it or not. Give it a "fuse time" of maybe 5 minutes.

Fair warning

2007-12-03T22:02:00.000-08:00

This is fair warning.

The things you read on this blog may prove to make you uncomfortable.

I will highly recommend that you avoid certain activities.

The first thing I will suggest is that you never read this blog. It will inform you of the dangers of things that you may have otherwise enjoyed.

If this is your first time here, or if you are a regular, heed my caution. Do not read anything on this blog.

There, you have been warned.

Anything that happens as a result of reading here is now out of my hands.