Plead the Fifth

the end of my dignity: before and after shots

2012-09-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

Before

After

Before

After (yes it was after I took a shower)

Before

After

Before

After

Here they are...
Befores and Afters from a few months ago.
The befores were taken on July 13th.
The afters were taken on August 17th.
I wish the differences were more dramatic, and I really think if I had been able to stick to the meal plan they would have been, but all I can say is...I did feel pretty awesome when I finally completed all 4 weeks her 30 day Shred DVD. :)

And I would recommend it to anyone looking to A) Get healthier and B)Get fit quick...er than other programs. BUT be fore warned: you will have to push yourself, otherwise, you are just wastin' yo' time. I know you can do it though because our bodies were made to move. Key word: MOVE.

So yeah. Feast your eyes upon these. Laugh or cry. And be on your merry way. :)

I gotta be honest here...

2012-09-12T15:23:00.002-07:00

I KNOW!

I know I promised before and after pictures for my Jillian Michael's 30 day Ripped experiment, buuuuuut....when I took the after photos, I was disappointed to see that everything pretty much LOOKED the same, although I did not FEEL the same. I mean, the love handles were toned down in the after photos, but...they just weren't as drastic as I was hoping they would be.

I'll post them though when I get back to my computer later. But to be honest, I was feeling a little embarrassed b/c even though I did stick with the demanding workout schedule, I fell off the wagon of the eating schedule.

Don't keep searching for the measurements though...didn't take them. Kinda forgot.

Actually, I am doing this 200/day thing for the month of September. The regimen calls for you to do 200 pushups, 200 situps, and 200 squats for the whole month in order to complete a total of 6,000 of each and, of course, they say you should take before and after photos to see the results.......we'll see how the pics turn out....

I have a far-away friend who is doing it with me, so we text each other every so often to check in on the other or to announce our progress (or lack of progress from me). Again, I have not been totally faithful to the required amount of exercises per day, but I do make sure to do at least 1 set of 50 of each. That's how I break it up, 50 sets of each throughout my day. Today I completed the pushups and I'm halfway through the situps, the squats I'm not so worried about b/c I still do the Jillian Michael workouts and she really works in the squats....with like EVERY move.

Also!

I wanted to announce that I completed a book. Hooray for me, right? Right. It's Lance Armstrong's book that he wrote back in 2001, only a few years after battling cancer. And I was surprised to learn that it was really a good read. It's entitled: It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life.

Zeh Buuk (The Book)

Now, I do enjoy a good autobio or just plain ole bio, but I honestly like to read them about people who have already...uh, died.

Not to be mean or anything, but then that way you can get like, the COMPLETE version. Because, see, Lance wrote this book (with the aide of Sally Jenkins), and it was really good and all, very inspiring and captivating and so forth, but...his story isn't complete. So, it's like waiting for the next Harry Potter book! Ya just have to wait. Because another one HAS to come out to talk about his divorce from his first wife, Kik (pronounced: "Keek") and his dating Sheryl Crow, and of course his battle with all of these doping accusations. Ya feel me?

Anyways, Lancey-poo talks about his struggle with cancer and how it changed his life for the better and everything, and how lucky he was to have been diagnosed with it BECAUSE of the positive effects it had on his life. Basically, it was because he had cancer that he was able to win the Tour de France so many times...which, technically, according to the cycling world now....he didn't win them. So, dumb.

I'm rootin' for you, Lance!

It's ALMOST the moment you've been waiting for...

2012-08-16T07:37:00.002-07:00

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FINISHED!!!!!!!!!

BUT

sadly to say...after 2 weeks, i fell off track of the meal plan. the boyfriend came back into town and soo...yeah, the rest of the meals just didn't happen b/c of eating out and just not being home as much to plan and eat the meals.
money has been a little scarce around here as well....

BUT

i did do each week of the workouts. 6 days of each. actually 7 of week one. so that makes, what? 25 days total? jillian says you need to take rest days. so i did. and week 4 took a little longer b/c i took more rest days due to work schedules. i was feeling rather tired this last week from continually waking up at 3:30am.

i'll post before and after pics and final measurements once i cool down and look less red and gross and sweaty. but here is a picture to hold ya over til those come in...

the face of a JM workout survivor. :)

Week 2? Out of view.

2012-07-29T17:25:00.001-07:00

Yup. You read the rhyme right. Finished week 2 of the Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30 on Saturday.

Onto WEEK THREE! Where the workout outfits are pink and the moves get a little more difficult.

Yipes!

Food-wise this experiment is going....meeeeeh.

I wish that they just sent all the meals to you in packages for each day and then you just warm them up-wait. That's Nutri-System...

Ok! Ok! How about they send you weekly boxes of all the ingredients for Jillian's recipes and then YOU make them and then eat them. Eh? Eh? Eh?

It would just be easier. It can be so damned hard to plan out all the meals each day and eat them.

But whatever. I'm eating healthier than if I wasn't trying to stick with her meal plan.

How about YOU? How's your workout going? Haha.

All right, Week 3....

Let's do this.

WEEK ONE DONE SON!

2012-07-20T08:06:00.000-07:00

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

did it!!!!

yes. as i sit here dripping bottles of sweat, i can proudly say that:

week one has been completed.

which is just in the nick of time because i was starting to talk along with Jillian throughout this week one workout.

now, i can learn a whole new script during week two!

i'm still struggling sticking close to that diet menu of hers, but i know i'm eating better than i would have had i not committed to following it. get it?

alllll righty. time to get ready for work now. ttyl, peeps.

thanks for reading.

ciao!

UPdate! UPdate! UPdate!

2012-07-16T09:20:00.001-07:00

The title of this post is supposed to have an echo-ie feel to it...just so yas knows.

ANYwhooooooos.

There she is: Jillian Micahels.

So remember that whole 30 day Jillian Michael's thing I was planning on doing? Yeah. Still doing it.

HA!

Yoooooou thought I was gonna say I wasn't doing it anymore. Didn't ya? Didn't ya?

Well, I'm not, NOT doing it. BUT, I did take a rest day yesterday (Sunday) because that's what Jillian says to do. So, mleh (pretend I'm sticking my tongue out at you, ok?)

Although, unfortunately, I even took a rest from the meal plan yesterday so I felt I was cheating, a little bit...but whatevs. Todays a new day.

But, yeah. As I suspected the hardest part is sticking with each of the meals in her meal plan. She planned it out for 3 meals a day plus a snack. It's all good food, but there is a lot of cooking involved. I feel like if I did EVERY single plan for each day that I would never leave my house; I would either be cooking or working out (but that's not true, I'm just exaggerating a wee bit).

It was a'ight.

I just returned from my latest quest at the grocery store to hunt and gather some more items for her recipes, and I'm about to continue with the workouts in just a few minutes as soon as my So Delicious Coconut Milk Yogurt, the chocolate flavored kind, (phew, long title) and sliced almonds have had a bit to digest in my tummy then we can get to work, son!

Wish me luck!

Starting Measurements. Now, don't be hatin'

2012-07-12T18:52:00.004-07:00

Here are my beginning measurements that I said I would post from my previous post:

Weight: 143lbs. (Well, I don't have a scale at the moment, but last time I checked...)
Neck: 13 1/8"
Biceps: 11"
Forearms: 9"
Chest: 23 3/4"
Waist: 30 7/8"
Hips: 34 5/16"
Mid Thigh: 21 1/4"
Calves: 14"
Eyes: Brown
Toenail polish: Sephora's "Already Famous"
Dress Size: 8

Alright.
We'll see if anything changes! Otherwise...I just reeeeeeeeally made myself vulnerable in front of y'all, but that's the whole point of a blog, right?

NEW PLAN!

2012-07-12T18:23:00.001-07:00

Hey! You there! Wanna come along for a new adventure with me?

Of course ya do!

So, this whole blog's "theme" is about me trying to find my particular spot in the working world, riiiiiiight? Well, what if my destiny is to write reviews on products or programs?! Huh? Huh?

Anybody?

Anywhos! So I'm into those Jillian Michael workout DVDs, right? Well, the first one I purchased is called: Ripped in 30, right? Wait-right? Yeah. That's right. Here's a pic:

Isn't she so B.A.?

And, mind you, while I was hunting for a picture of this DVD, I found quite a number of blogs that talked about their journey with this workout. Here is one for example (seems like a good blog to follow): click me!

So I would like to do the same thing and see what types of results I can get for myself. I'll post some embarrassing before and after pictures at the end of this 30 day adventure, but I'll start with my measurements so that we have something to go off of, alrighty? And I would like to post AT LEAST weekly, if not semi-weekly...maybe even-dare I say it-daily?! (Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.)

Such a good film.

This excites me because it makes me feel like Julie Powell from one of my favorite movies: Julie and Julia! You haven't seen it??? WATCH IT!!! But watch it on a full stomach because all that damned good looking foods makes you want to eat like a pig for the rest of your life. I swear. *Marian grumbles: Curse you Nora Ephron for making the food look so provocative.*

So who is with me? Let's give this a shot, eh? As you can tell, it's a 30(ish) day workout plan AND a 30 day meal plan concocted by Ms. Jillian Michael's herself. If you follow it, it's supposed to help get you more definite(?) results. And it's not the workouts that I'm worried about, it's the planning and cooking those meals that makes me wonder how well I'll be able to follow this program to the "T." It takes lots of time and planning-especially with a stupid work schedule like mine-to make sure you get all of these healthy eatings into my schedule.

But, like I said, we'll just have to wait and see how this goes. WISH ME LUCK!!!

Oh. P.S. I had 2 interviews with the Apple Store...but wasn't selected to continue in their hiring process. :-(

Ah well. That just means I'm supposed to be doing something else with my time...like this program! LET'S GO!!!

New Direction.

2012-06-07T18:13:00.000-07:00

Need to find a new direction for this blog.

I feel like it's kinda gone haywire.

MAYBE I'll take Julia Child's cookbook and cook EVERY single recipe and blog about THAT!! What a fabulous and unique ide-waaaaait a minute....

Any suggestions?
Anybody?

It's the Year of Voting!

2012-06-06T15:48:00.001-07:00

Howdy y'all.

I've tried to keep some sort of a mystery about myself for those of you who read this and don't actually know me. You know, so I can keep some excitement in this virtual relationship, but I'm about to share more of myself with you.

There she is.

I just posted a video of myself covering a song of one of my favorite singer-song writers: Sara Bareilles (I always spell her last name wrong but I think I got it right this time). I've been told a couple of times I even look like her? *blushes*

To tell the truth I actually started watching her BECAUSE a friend was watching one of her videos ("King of Anything") and he was like, "Hey, she kinda looks like you." So, my narcissistic side of me decided to watch and I was hooked! I loved the video and the song and a beautiful relationship sparked from there. So...sometimes it's good to be vain...right?

ANYWAYS!!

I would like you to do me a HUGE favor and vote for my video (just click the word "video" and that's the link to it).

I covered one of her new songs and so now you can go watch (or not watch) and vote! I'm not sure of the whole prize package but I know you get to have a Skype chat with the artist herself and so that's what I would love to happen if at all possible.

AND IT IS!!! With your help!! You can vote once a day!! Wooo!!!

I never win competitions or anything, but I actually have just a little control here.

Or if you're one of those people who have lots of pride (like me) and do the opposite of what someone wants, then...DON'T VOTE. Ha! How do ya like dem apples, eh?

Thanks!

It's Raining, It's Pouring, The Old Man is-

2012-06-05T14:41:00.002-07:00

Well, this is exciting!

Well...for me, at least.

2 new possible job opportunities knocked on my door yesterday.

Not literally.
They actually called my phone. But...ya know what I mean.
Stop being so literal, it's not good for your...health.

Apple logo, in case ya didn't know...

Apple (the computer corporation, not Gweneth Paltrow's kid) called me asking for an interview next week.

AND

A relator, that I had randomly worked for a couple of summers ago, called me up and asked for my help on a project that she and her staff are trying to complete.

Starbucks logo, also in case ya didn't know...

So, yeah. Just as I was getting settled into working my new ONE job (I had been working two part-time jobs for the past 3 years up until the end of May and then I was hired by Starbucks, where I currently work now) and telling my family how nice it was just to have only ONE job for once and then...I get tossed the possibility of having 3 jobs. What the heck, man?

What.

The.

Heck.

I mean, has that ever happened to you? Where you are just so content with things then BAM! New opportunities are thrown at you? Good or bad? Hmm.

Sorry this post isn't as personal and universal and interesting as the last couple. I just figured...I would update those of you who cared. So, thanks...if you do care.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....

Oh, I have a friend that works on the site www.losingweight.com and I put together a video about my personal story on losing weight (ha, go figure) to post on the site. So I'll send the link once he uploads it so y'all can waste a good minute of your time watching me make a fool of myself on the internet. YAY!

Later, skater.

The year I died.

2012-06-02T05:39:00.000-07:00


St. Therese of Lisieux, died at 24.

It seems a lot of the really well-known saints died at the young age of 24 (like many rock-stars die at 27, weird, huh?) which is how old I am now. But before I blew out the 24 candles on my birthday cake, which is to say: when I actually had a full-on relationship with God, I had always thought or wondered if He would choose to preserve my innocence and purity, too, and that I would join the rest of the youthful saints in Heaven when I turned 24.

Well, that's kind of true, but in a very opposite way.

St. Elizabeth of Hungary, died at 24.

You see, this past year I have made some choices, some of the worst choices that I have decided to make in my short-lifetime: I decided to place God in the background as I pursued an earthly relationship with all of my heart, mind, and, yes, my soul. And I had no idea the effects that this would have on my life.

I feel like I have turned into this huge, self-absorbed shell of a person. I mean, there are feelings in me (c'mon, I'm a woman with raging hormones!), but these feelings are so drastic. I don't feel peaceful anymore until I'm in the presence of the one that I have pretty much made my idol. I've put all of myself into this relationship that it's like it's the only way that I can thrive now.

Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha, died at 24.

It's an awful, awful feeling. And nobody forced me into this. This has all been my own doing. My own choices. It's like I'm an addict. But instead of drugs, alcohol, shopping, or any sort of material thing, I've based receiving any good feelings on this relationship with this one person, and I've been struggling with this for the past couple years.

I've talked to my friends and family about it, and I've tried "quitting" (aka breaking it off) many, many times. Just ask my closest friends and my family members, they'll tell you how many times I've come crying to them because I thought I had ended things once and for all. Actually, they've probably lost count....

But I tell you all of this not just to unintentionally reveal to you how crazy I am, but to admit that my life without God, it's just been so unsettling and unstable.

He is a great constant to have in your life. No matter what type of relationship you are in, whether it's a wonderful and fulfilling one or a crappy, abusive one, only God is ever truly faithful to us. He is always with us. His love for us in unconditional and it isn't based on how HE feels like loving you at the moment; and I have totally, totally taken that for granted.

I desire that unconditional love so much, it's what I've been trying to squeeze out of this relationship, and every time I don't receive it, it only urges me to try harder, which only leads me to cut myself off from everyone else in my life even more. Like I said, I feel as if I'm this self-absorbed shell of a person now. The joy has emptied from me and I strive to fill myself with those fleeting moments of happiness instead.

And this, my friends, is how I died and became anything BUT a saint at the age of 24.

A Weighty Subject

2012-05-26T11:46:00.001-07:00

So, as I patiently continue to wait to be discovered and become a famous writer, I find the time to workout and realize how far I've come...

Cute Lil Chub-Chub, 1980something.

I was never like a really fat little kid or anything, but I always hear stories of how I was such a great eater as a baby (I was born at almost 10 pounds), and, I admit, I did enjoy my food as a kid, well, as an adult I still enjoy it today. But what little kid doesn't? Actually, there are quite a few.

4th Grade Marian, 1999.

Anyways! As I grew up amongst a cackle of skinny sisters, my size always haunted me. I was a little heavier around the middle than the rest of them and the fact that I liked to eat more than they did bothered me, but, for some reason, it was harder for me to control how much I consumed.

Looking back at pictures I see that I was never as heavy as I had seen myself to be at the time (See that homecoming picture? I thought I was much much heavier than I really was), but then the tables started to turn when I became a senior in high school; when the pictures showed me at what point my real weight gain began.

Junior Year Homecoming, 2003.

I was active, but I never found any pleasure in actually working out. So, here I had these habits of eating whatever I wanted but with all the womanly hormones now, the fat the usually was burned as my body grew remained with me, but, mentally, I believe I began blocking it out.

Near the end of and after high school, I wasn't huge, but I convinced myself that I was healthy and not overweight. I was always judging myself as I looked in the mirror and turned to the side to assess how skinny I was. And although I wasn't overweight yet I was definitely on my way there...

The summer after my high school graduation in 2005, my bad eating habits were still a part of my normal routine and I subtly (at least it was subtle to me) began to grow a little heavier. I joined a traveling youth ministry team and failed to take the time to exercise to burn off all the different and unhealthy foods we ate because, well, I didn't think I needed to.

Marina and Me on my 20th Birthday, 2007.

This unhealthy lifestyle of mine continued up until I moved back in with my parents in December 2008. By this time I had reached my ultimate weight of 175 pounds, and being on the shorter side of the ruler at 5ft. 5in. That much weight...don't look purdy on me.

But to be honest, I had convinced myself this whole time that I was fine. I remember I would look in my dorm room mirror and believe to be the same size as my other well-trimmed girlfriends, but I had no idea how much it was piling on, until I actually started to lose weight and looked back at my college pictures.

Was I in denial? I think so. I am such a self-conscious person that if I had actually admitted myself to being overweight, that I might've shut down somehow, you know? I just wanted to be skinny...but without the work.

With Cousins and my Sister in CA, 2009.

So, like I said, it was after I left school in Ohio and moved to Georgia with my family that I started to actually work on working out. My mother just started consistently running about 5 years ago and she dropped from almost 200lbs to her current weight of about 140lbs. I was jealous and ashamed when I came back to a mother that was much leaner than I was. I started trying different things: running on the elliptical, running in the neighborhood, Richard Simmons and Tae-Bo workout videos (I mean videos, too...like, VHS videos, haha), then I started this Leslie Sansone walking video (yup, still VHS) and those fit with me. I slowly started to lose the weight and feeling better about myself.

Not only has exercise become a steady part of my life now my eating habits have changed. I eat less and healthier (sometimes) and I can control how food much I eat; whereas before, the food was controlling how much I ate...if that makes ANY sense. I'll admit, though, I do have my days of downfall where I decide to be lazy and skip a workout or eat unhealthy. Hey. I'm human with free-will...it's gonna happen. But I am 35 pounds less than when I came here 3.5 years ago and I love it!

There I am in the sunglasses, getting ready to run 5 miles...in da mud, 2012.

So, I want to encourage any of you that sometimes feel just plain awful about yourself to start exercising. Yes, it sucks at first (and even now it still sucks sometimes), but to be honest, you will feel so much better about yourself. And the key is to make this a part of your life. Not just a temporary something to help you lose weight fast, although, that is what we all desire. Remember that you need to be patient with yourself. You also need to discipline yourself, but at the same time, be encouraging.

Something that motivates me to workout is thinking about those days when I feel excellent about how I look, and I want to continue to feel that way. Everday. Also, I want to be a nice and healthy old lady that looks like she is 60 when she is really 80. :)

What works for me? I really enjoy any of Jillian Michael's DVDs. They are quick and SUPER effective (if you stick with them). Or if you are just starting out, Leslie Sansone's walking DVDs are effective and she is very encouraging (although, maybe a little cheesy at points) and happy. If you prefer to be outside...run or power walk, that's just as effective. Just start doing something a little at a time and as you being to see improvements in your fitness and body then it won't take much to try to do more because you'll feel so good about the progress you have made.

Like I said, it will be hard, but believe me, kid, it's so totally worth it.

Dancin' and Feelin' Goooood, 2012.

waiting for my rocket to come

2012-05-18T17:18:00.001-07:00

i'm not a huge fan of the Jesus look on him.

jason mraz, anyone?

i bring him up just because his lyrics from his first album involve the word "waiting" because i did that A LOT today at the doc's office. so i'm going to attempt to write a poem...about it:

brain zoning.

then mind going

trying to find something to do.

all this waiting

leaves me wanting

to leave and perhaps go to the zoo?

read a book.

play a game.

dream about a life of fame?

nah.

finally they call me!

my life has been saved

from this game of waiting

and acting well-behaved!

because all i wanted

was to scream

like a baby who...

wasn't picked for a kickball team.......

the gates of heaven open

and the lady st. peter greets me.

i follow, filled with ease

but i learn it's all a tease!

she turns to me

and smiles.

my final destination, it appears

is still a couple of miles.

i am to be seated

AGAIN

and wait

for this doctor

with whom i have a date.

what the crap is this?

i think.

all of this time

only to land in another rink?

a sigh.

brain zoning.

then mind going

trying to find something to do.

all this waiting

leaves me wanting-

here,

she tells me.

take this cup

and fill it with pee.

...

well, i kind of don't mind.

gives me something to help pass the time.

the deed is done.

but the journey has still only begun.

a second sigh.

brain zoning

then mind going

trying to find something to do.

all this waiting-

my ears are perked!

was my file just jerked

and my name called out to me?

privileged is how i feel

as i stand and turn on my heel

to follow the nurse to the little room

only to find there is more doom.

wait for the doctor,

she says to me.

are you sure you

don't want me to

take another pee?

a third sigh

brain zoning.

then mind going

trying to find something to do-

the doctor is here!

meaning the end is near!

we chat for a while

then she gives me a smile

and leads me

to another room.

what the hell is this?

i wonder.

really?

can i just take another piss?

at least it'll pass the time

and it will suppress this annoying whine of mine.

a fourth sigh.

brain zoning.

then mind going-

she finally returns

and quickly adjourns.

her job was quick

and now they stick

me with this bill

that i had to pay

to sit on this triple hour ride

called:

"waiting hell."

Honestly...

2012-05-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

This whole blogging thing is hard to do when you're the type of person who likes to hold their cards close to their chest, ya know what I'm sayin'?

I mean...I'd like to share everything that's going on in my life, but then there is the fear of someone reading something about someone when this something happened and then the other something happened to someone and you heard it from this someone.

Oi.

So many factors, right? Right!

So, here's an idea. Hows abouts yous (whomevers yous is) pretend (or maybe not pretend) you don't know me. You know nuttin' about me. Yeah.....yeah. I like da sound of dat.

Book Review for Yew?

2012-05-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

HEEEEEEY-UH!!

Today I have something a little different for you. I know it's been a while and you've cried your eyes out since my last post, or you've clicked your fingers numb by faithfully checking my blog everyday to see if I had posted, right? Well, I'm sorry, my friend. (Read next part aloud with Valley-Girl Voice (do it!)) Life has just been super busy! O! M! G! (Ok, stop reading aloud, ya werido.)

But, I feel like it's about to wind down a little bit so I've been trying to catch up on some reading. You know how when you go into a bookstore and you go on this determined buying spree and promise yourself to read all of these books? And you figure that if you spend money on them you'll be more motivated to read them? Right? Yeah. For like, one day. So I've been trying to catch up on that. I finally finished...one.

It's called Bee Season and it was written by Myla Goldberg. Let's see if I can find a picture of this...uniquely dressed woman...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Myla Goldberg. The woman whose legs were used for part of the Wicked Witch of the East in the Wizard of Oz.

The story is about a family of four, a family of misfits one might say. The father, Saul, is a Jewish Rabbi that hungers for more intellect; the mother, Miriam, is a stiff and distant maternal figure that works as a lawyer (and holds a deep secret); the eldest child, Aaron, is an awkward and self-conscious teenager trying to find God and searches for him in other religions; and the youngest daughter, Eliza, is also an awkward 4th-grade child who feels she has no real place in the world or in her family, until she discovers her gift for spelling.

It was an interesting read. Some parts more interesting than others. There is some explicit sex scenes in there, mostly because it's describing the sexual relationship between what goes on between the very un-unified parents. It's kinda funny because one of the 4th grade girls that goes to after-school that I watch was like, "Can I read that after you?" And I had told her, "I'm don't know" because I was just getting into the book...and yeah...THAT answer is definitely a NO. Haha.

Ya might like it, ya might not. I just decided to write about it because I feel like I forget a lot of details about books unless I spend time to really think about them. So I just used this blog so that I could talk about it some. Congratulations if you made it all the way through. :)

The Art of Art

2012-03-28T10:40:00.004-07:00

When I was driving in my car the other day

(my car)

and I was thinking about something that had happened at work between a mother and her daughter


(i'm not talking about this mother-daughter combo, but aren't they lovely?)

and i was analyzing the situation:
why the mother said what she said and why the daughter reacted the way she reacted
then i realized that i analyze situations and people a lot

frasier crane (representing my analyzing...b/c he's a psychiatritst)

its become a habit
and then i also realized
maybe that's partly what i like acting so much

kate winslet (my doppelganger)

you have to get inside a character's mind
figure out their motivations
why they do the things they do
why they say the things they say (besides because it's there in the script, ya nut. ha. ha. you think you're sooo funny don't chya?)

so yeah
why not check out psychology? i thought to myself
we'll see if anything develops from this discovery

keep your fingers crossed

(haha. i don't know her.)

You're never fully dressed without a

2012-03-24T10:18:00.001-07:00

SMILE

I couldn't find a legal smiley face picture to post here. They all had that stupid watermark thingy so you don't use them illegally. Boo.

Anyways, as I was working at work (haha. Imagine that.) I realized that I need to smile a bit more. When I get focused on something or I have to get something done then I get like a stern...focused...look...on my face. No smiling. And then I thought I need to smile more! So I don't look so....mean...and intimidating....and scary....and bitchy...

Then I thought of that song from the musical "Annie." So, hence the title of this post...

Oh! And when I was at work thinking about this, I was standing at the counter mixing something and facing the customers, right? Well, no one was paying attention, thankfully, and I just started giggling all of the sudden because I imagined myself standing there doing what I was doing and was just grinning away like a crazy buffoon. Haha. You have to balance out your smiling time, otherwise, you'd look....well, crazy if you smiled ALL the time for EVERYTHING you do. So, watch it. Don't smile too much but smile just enough.

Get it?

:-D

An Unexpected Smack in Da Face

2012-03-18T17:26:00.002-07:00

Soooooo....

Remember how I said that I'm still volunteering at the hosptial with the Medical Interpreters? Ya don't?! Get outta heeeeeeeee'uh.

Well, I am. I volunteer once a week at one of the local hospitals and help out the nice Spanish-speaking ladies with some of their mundane but "need-to-be-done" tasks.

Anyways, now that I've so KINDLY caught you up so you don't have to be tormented by going and searching through my previous posts.

oy.

So yeah. I went in this week (a little earlier than usual) and it was pretty slow...and they didn't have anything for me to work on at the time...so I sat down and chatted with them and looked over some of my Spanish book, right? Well, suddenly our lovely Puerto Rican supervisor returns to the office and says:

Puerto Rican Supervisor: Hello, Marian. I need you to deliver the patient TV schedules for me. You've done this before, I think.

(MARIAN thinks to herself "Uuuhh...I don't think so.")

PRS (continued): Or maybe you didn't. Well, here is the list from last time. You just need to make sure you have a nurse sign for them and hand them a stack, just make sure that you get a name we can read.

(PRS shows MARIAN a list of over 25 units to visit.)

MARIAN: Oh. Ok.

(MARIAN starts freaking out in her head because she can barely navigate herself to the Interpreters office let alone around a huge hospital.)

PRS: You can just come back here if you need more schedules, Ok? Ok! Adios!

MARIAN: *gulp*

END OF SCENE

So least to say...I did LOTS of walking...like, 2.5 hours worth LOTS of walking.

I got lost a lot...heh heh.

BUT that's not the point of this post. The point of this post was to remark on how impressed I was by the workings of the employees of the hospital.
Impressed they work there to take care of the injured people I saw (some of what I saw was heart-breaking).
Impressed to see these people had a specific purpose and this purpose had a great effect on those they were helping.

And then it made me feel...inadequate and, frankly, kinda useless. Here I was this little lost volunteer running around in a stiff blue vest delivering these kinda unimportant TV schedules and here were alllllllll these medical doctors and nurses and (even med students that I serve coffee too!) running around and doing their darndest to heal and help allllllll these injured folk (ok, maybe some weren't doing their "darndest," I know, they're human, too).

It was encouraging and discouraging at the same time. Haha. Anyways, I know this post isn't making too much of a point, but I felt REALLY inspired on Friday to write it, but not it's Sunday and I've lost a lot of the inspiring things I was going to write to share with y'all, but the important thing is...

I tried my DARNDEST to tell you. :)

Gah!

2012-03-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

I'm itching to write something. What should I write? A book is a little long for me. A little too ambitious for now.

Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.Ideas.

Hmm...they're avoiding me right now. Ru'e (that's "rude" in Bon Qui Qui dialect. Still don't understand? Check it: Bon Qui Qui @ King Burger)!

Hey! *whistles*

Back to me here.

Thank you.

Ru'e.

I still need ideas on what I should write...maybe a play? Or a song...but what about. OH! I could even write you, yes YOU, a letter! Huh? Huh? Anybody? Anybody?

Ok.

Later skater. :)

"Houston, We Have Lift Off!"

2012-03-10T17:23:00.000-08:00

I GOT IT!!!

It's a MacBook Pro 13" (2009), duh. It's a refurbished one from PeachMac. Shut up it works just fine.

So, now I can actually type my posts instead of having to frustrate myself to no end trying to type them out on my wee-lil iPod Touch.

I apologize if you ripped most of your hair out because you've been waiting soooooo long for something new and EXCITING to read. I'm sure you've been super super bored without all of my entertaining posts telling you alllllll about MYYYYYY life. Am I right? No need to answer.

What have I been up to? You ask?

Well! Let me tell YOU.

.........*cricket sounds*............

Mostly working....?

Haha. I really have been. That's about all, lately.

BUT the other day I was able to sit down with a friend in Atlanta and she gave me a bit of hope. She is a wonderful person who is very friendly and outgoing and, therefore, she knows lots of people and makes friends for life because she is just that great. We all know someone like that, don't we?

Anywho, we was chattin' over some yummy Tex-Mex food and she was like, "Hey! I know people involved in theatre here in ATL, I could totally, probably, most-likely, maybe, hopefully for sure get you a job!" (Haha, she didn't really say that, that's just my pessimism possessing me.)

Now, if I had talked to any of you before, I've usually said that I would NOT like to live in Atlanta, but, heck, they have manymanymanymanymanymany more opportunities for working in theatre one way or another so...who am I to say no? I think I could grow to like the hustle and bustle of the biggest city in Georgia...even if it does scare me sometimes....

*gulp*

Floaties, anyone?

2012-03-07T19:14:00.002-08:00

Not to sound like I'm complaining or anything... (great way to start a post, eh?)

But recently I have been having this image of myself in the middle of a large body of water with my arms flailing around in the water. Remember how I wrote about having a goal in that last post? Well, that one particular goal was altered due to some unexpected news I received the other night (all shall be revealed in due time my friend, in due time. Patience. Sshhhh...).

SO! Time for plan B!

But the question NOW is...what's plan B?

But the computer is about to die and I'm too lazy to get the charger so...

TO BE CONTINUED!

She Shoots! She....?

2012-03-03T07:53:00.003-08:00

Isn't it nice how having a goal makes you feel?

(I bold the word because it's basically the theme of this post.)

They are so motivating.
So invigorating.
So challenging.

Ya know what I'm sayin?

And our nation-no-our world! Loves them!

Heck, look at how popular sports are, for example!

See? The world, loves sports!

They are all about a team or a player reaching a particular goal. So, it's no wonder that whenever someone has a goal, whether it be a big or small goal, we feel like we have so much more purpose.

Like, being in school, you have all sorts of little goals that you need to achieve: there's chapter to finish, a paper to write, a project to do, etc. So since I've been out of school, as you have been reading, I've been looking for all kinds of goals to pursue, some more realistic and achievable than others, but, none-the-less, something to aim for and in which to succeed. Right?

Well, this past week, as I was working at my evening job, the kids I was watching were eating their snacks and chatting amongst themselves which gave me some time to just...think. And this new goal came to mind, and I really really like the sound of it!

Now, I would tell you it, but I need to discuss it with a few people before I go out and get y'all all excited but then end up jinxing myself, haha. I feel like I jinx myself a lot by talking too soon about things. I know this really isn't true, but it just feels that way sometimes...

And on another note. My 5-6 year-old HP computer decided that it wanted to stop working the other night, so I am currently in pursuit of buying me-self a Macbook Pro. Oh, look...

Another goal!

:-)

And the Answer Is.......

2012-02-28T17:43:00.002-08:00

No.

But thank you for trying, they say.

:-/

(This is in reference to my audition on Saturday)

Me no get part. But is ok, obviously God did not want me to be involved in this particular production which I am most def cool with, ya feel me?)

Will let you know how I do on the next audition. :-D

Sound of Jeopardy Thinking Music Continues to Play

2012-02-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: still no email pertaining to my audition on Saturday.

IN OTHER NEWS: My drive to continue to learn Spanish has been reignited mostly due to the fact that I am still volunteering with the medical interpreters at the hospital. They ask all hospital volunteers to stay for at least 6 months, right? But I thought since now that I work full time that I would be able to stop...ha. Good one, ya lazy bum.

When I called to tell the sweet volunteer lady that I had some bad news about my availability for volunteering being very limited, her normally honeyed voice became a bitter vinegar flavor. She was not about to let me off that easy-which is understandable, seeing as I had said in the beginning that I could commit to it.

So I reluctantly agreed to find a way to work in at least 3 hours a week volunteering. And like I stated before...it's all (well, not ALL, but a lot) about your attitude. It's not that I don't like the ladies I work with, quite the opposite, really. They are great, friendly women-it's the office work that isn't all that captivating. I don't know if was the matinee show of the almost tornado that we had front row seats to but the 3 hours turned out not to be so bad, especially when ya don't arrive wearing grumpy pants. :-)

Anyways. That's my story for now...what's YOUR story?

Plead the Fifth

the end of my dignity: before and after shots

I gotta be honest here...

It's ALMOST the moment you've been waiting for...

Week 2? Out of view.

WEEK ONE DONE SON!

UPdate! UPdate! UPdate!

Starting Measurements. Now, don't be hatin'

NEW PLAN!

New Direction.

It's the Year of Voting!

It's Raining, It's Pouring, The Old Man is-

The year I died.

A Weighty Subject

waiting for my rocket to come

Honestly...

Book Review for Yew?

The Art of Art

You're never fully dressed without a

An Unexpected Smack in Da Face

Gah!

"Houston, We Have Lift Off!"

Floaties, anyone?

She Shoots! She....?

And the Answer Is.......

*Sound of Jeopardy Thinking Music Continues to Play*

Sound of Jeopardy Thinking Music Continues to Play