POETIC CRIES OF INTERPERSONAL EXPRESSIONS

Adhurey Alfaaz

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 20:23:00 +0000

Ek Aakhri sawaal ka jawaab bhi mil jaata
Toh humari bechaini ki koi wajah na bachti…
Is pal ki khamoshi ko main shabdon mein kya bayaan karun,
Jab alfaaz k moti dhundey toh jazbaaton ne dhoka de diya

Samay k is adhurey paimaane ki aas bhi kuch aduri hai
Yun toh mere har taraf pade hain khaali gilaas, par ab abhi meri pyaas kuch adhuri hai
Is Kismat ki bhi maar hai anokhi…
Jab botalon ki mehfilein thi rangeen, toh imaan ne dhoka diya
Aur phir jab beimaani ki adaatein pad gayin, toh sammaan ne dhoka diya.
Jab phoolon ki khusbuon k peechey chale, toh ehsaas ne dhoka diya
Aur jab nazron ki sunne ki maani, toh uske libaas ne dhoka diya.

Haan shabdon ka main jaal bicha raha hun
Haan paheliyon k jariye mein khayaal bicha raha hun
Sach ko is shayari ki parchai k pichey dhakeley,
Main apne beichain dil ka haal bicha raha hun

Par galti sirf meri hai ye ilzaam na lunga
Aur laakh tu puchey mujhse, ab tere main sawaal na lunga…
Kyunki galtiyon ko ginaane se humare saal wapas na aayengey
Aur jawabon ko paa kar bhi ab who khayaal wapas na aayengey

Ab keh do ki maine dhoka diya
Haan keh do ki chahat meri hi kum thi…
Par haste hui aankhon k ye aansu phir bhi girengey
Aur mayoos dil k aangan mein sapne phi bhi khilengey

Ek aakhri ilzaam bhi ab mil jaaye toh gum nahi
Kyunki mere zameer ka sach aaj bhi kum nahi…
Jab ehsaason ka sailaab maanga toh lamhon se dhoka mila
Aur phir jab khudgarzi ka khitaab manga toh apno se dhoka mila
Jab saath ki ek aakhri bheekh maangi toh dayaa se dhoka mila
Aur jab yaadon se nikaalne ki jung ladi toh hayaa se dhoka mila

Ek Aakhri sawaal ka jawaab bhi mil jaata
Toh humari bechaini ki koi wajah na bachti…
Kuch kehne ko ab bacha hi kya hai...
bas sard hawaon k kuch manjar hain
aur ruthi lehron k kuch samandar hain
Is pal ki khamoshi ko main shabdon mein kya bayaan karun,
Jab alfaaz k moti dhundey toh jazbaaton ne dhoka de diya

**********************

Give back my tryst with that moment of love
Cos I seek a turn back in time
It is moments that might never seem blurred
The one that are frozen but still shine

I demand answers to question that don’t really matter
I hide behind verses to not disclose my feelings that lie shatter
I seek to swim across in an ocean, never to rise again
I seek to become mad in a way that I may never be wise again

*********************

IMAGE SOURCE - This picture is from the movie, My Sassy Girl.

The Last Letter...To The one I loved!

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 20:05:00 +0000

Dear XXXXXX,

I know you are very upset from me and no matter what I say now, You seem to have make up your mind about us. Us, A special special word it is, isn’t it? Its beautiful how two people make one relation and how that relationship inspires them to do the unordinary things in life. Things like sacrifice, things like commitment, things like love. As I start writing this letter tear eyed, on my bed, at 1, I feel liberated, I feel relaxed, I feel being heard… and it is a beautiful feeling to express yourself to the one you care, I am trying to do just that. Yes we do have had ups and downs in our 4 year long association, but then neither you nor me, can deny the fact that we did loved each bit of it. The fights, the love, the smiles, the jokes, the kisses, the hugs, the tears… they were all worth it, as long as they were with you.

I am strange and unique, just as every individual on this planet. I have my share of desires, my level of understanding of life, my values of sins and sanity, my insecurities, my inspirations and my dreams. The one who knows them all is you. I have always been a blatant liar, always. As long as I recall myself, I have been the one, who was diplomatic, uncourageous and politically cheap in my conduct. Yet saying all this, I feel there has been a side of me that I have never known prior to meeting you. A side of me, that knows how to speak the truth, how to be unashamed of what I am, how to be clear and expressive in front of someone whom he wishes to win, a side that I know just because I met you, and just because you allowed me to be what I wished to be.

In the world driven by fakeness, attitude, and materialism, Our bond is the closest that can possibly be to divinity. We have prayed more for each other, cared for each other, held and helped each other, and wishes and love exchanged has been more then gifts exchanged. Its unreal how we have been with each other, or rather, how you have been with me. The girl who always was there. In a way, whatever I am I owe to you, because 1 thing that lacked in my life, before you was ‘reason’. Reason to excel, reason to perform, reason to be what I wanted to be, and in the process of winning u again and again and again, I found that reason. I found me. Its unreal, how the way you look at me, makes me feel special, makes me feel unique, makes me feel strong.

Everyone around me, sees me, the way I want them to see. I carry an Image, an impression that lasts. I work hard on that very image and it’s a tiresome process, to keep everyone happy and to try and win everyone’s heart and mind, whoever It may be. I am someone who is a big ‘wannabe’, an under achiever desperately who seek attention but in your case everything had been different. In front of you, I am me. Just me. The way I am in real, my sinful dreams, my unrealistic ambitions, my lies, my deceptions, my illusions are all right there in front of you, and still you love me. Its unreal, its unnatural, its divine. When I look back at all that I have shared with you, I find myself puzzled, at how on earth I said things to you, that I did. Those fantasies, those habits, those moments. I guess, if honest confessions is a parameter of transparency in a relation, Our relationship was hundred percent honest.

I’m so stupid, that both you and me know, I might end up somewhere in the dark lonely road someday. Like all others like me, I would too become, a distant memory, a humble broken wing, an unsaid poetry, someday. I feel someday, I will be a part of the pain whose fantasies I have carried for so long in my heart. The desire to perish, the desire to burn, the desire to bleed. My depressed heart wonders of the time that shall come as you would leave me. I see tears that will return every now and then, I see fears that shall never be shared with anyone ever, I see dreams broken and shattered, and a lonely boy trying to collect those glass pieces and getting drown in blood in that process. I see the life without you, and I find death more tempting.

Supposing that this is the last time, I am talking to you… before I end up this letter, as I am already drenching in tears and pain… I want to confess –

I am more mad and depressed then I showed myself

I am deeply in love with you, and I am a jerk to not being able to show it

I care for you a lot and I feel hurt and angry that I could never eradicate the distance between us

I lust you for the love I have, for the way you look, for how I smell when I am wrapped in your arms

I feel your eyes, are distinctly beautiful, it captures my imagination. It made me a poet.

I might break a million times if you leave me, Stay. Just stay. And don’t leave me to myself, as I am not in love with myself, the way you are or were with me. I need that love. Save me from the man I might become. Love me, one more time.

Be the girl, that I wanted you to be. Look yourself in the mirror from my eyes and you will find the desires, the dreams, the wishes that I had for you. I believe in you a lot and I know you can make it to a position in life where you can dictate your own terms to life and everyone that is a part of your life. You deserve to rule. You deserve to smile. You deserve to be loved, and loved till infinite stretches of human care and compassion.

I am sharing with you a letter that I wrote to her, along with this letter in the envelope. Read that too, I am at fault, and I have spoiled her life. I did met her, and what happened, that I shall tell you tomorrow when we will meet. Now I am so confused whether to come clean shave or not tomorrow, cos I want you to fell in love with me again, I think I look better clean shave but you like my raw look. Grrrr..why the fuck am I writing this too? Anyways…

I am ending this letter with a piece of poetry as always….

I love you a lot, I need you a lot… Mujhe Tumhari Bahut Jarurat hai aur tumhe ye pata hai. Phir bhi kyun tum mujhse dur jaa rahi ho? Kya tumhe nahi pata ki hum kaise rehte hain, jab bhi hum saath hote hain? Kya tumhe nahi pata ki hum ek dusre ki khushi mein khush hote hain? Kya tumhe nahi pata ki mera har sapna tumse kitna jud gaya hai? Kahan ja rahi ho? Kyun ja rahi ho?

Jab kal raat pyaas lagi toh yaad aaya ki hum kab se pyaase they
Raat ki un tanhaiyon mein har lamha jaagey they

Aur yaad aaya ki zindagani mein aapse kya kya mila…

Ek hansi se jeene ka sahara mila
Ek hansi se dubey ko kinara mila
Ek hansi se patjhad k mausam khile
Ek hansi se khushiyon k manzar mile

Jab kal raat aankh lagi toh paaya hum kitne akele hain
Raat ki khamoshi mein sapno ki bebasi se khele hain

Aur yaad aaya ki zindagani mein aapse kya kya mila….

Un ankhon ka nasha jisne paimaane chuda diye
Un ankhon ki jhalak jisne dhoke bhula diye
Un ankhon ki nazaakat jisne hayaa sikha di
Un ankhon ki gehrai jisne duniya bhula di

Yaadon k bhanwar mein is kadar kho gaye
Waqt ka ehsaas hi na hua aur hum puri raat ro gaye

Aaj ek haare huye dil ki koi fariyaad sun le
Aaj ek tanha akele ki koi awaaz sun le
Aaj ek humdard ki talash koi puri kar jaaye
Aaj ek sahare ki kami koi puri kar jaaye

Aaj do pal meethey koi khairaat mein hi de de
Aaj ek lamha pyaar ka koi majaak mein hi de de
Koi tumhari jagah na le paye sahi
Bas do pal k jazbaat hi de de

Jab kal raat aansu bahey toh paaya ki is kadar dard mein toh hum jee na payengey
Zakhm itne genre hain ki agar marham na mile toh hum inhe see na payengey!

Not a minute goes by
That you are not here with me

On me, at me, in me.

Like the one that beats as long as I will live…
A presence in my heart
Constantly with me

In my thoughts
In my soul

In my dreams

In my screams

In my wishes

In my kisses

In my sun

In my rain

In my shadows

In my feelings…

In the depths of my being
Is You....I love you

I hope someday you'll have a beautiful life. I hope you'll be sun in somebody else's sky. But why, whyyyyy can't it be mine?

Yours and Only yours,

PULKIT

PS – I am attaching a few rose petals with this letter, that are there in the envelope, and that is exactly how your memories smell. Oh please, embrace me and fight again for me, for you, for us. :’( I Love you. I never meant those fights, I never meant those hurts, I never meant when I said ‘leave me alone’, I am complicated, just as you are… The only difference is, I am psychologically mad and you are not. Don’t leave me alone, I need your care, I need it. I SAID…I NEED IT. :’( hold me please.

When Mirror Lies - 5

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Thu, 12 May 2011 11:22:00 +0000

A Tale of Love, Passions and Deceptions that drive an innocent soul of a young girl in a dangerous never ending trap of Dreams and Desires.

continued from --> Here

“My anger has meant pain to me but it has also meant survival, and before I give it up I'm going to be sure that there is something at least as powerful to replace it on the road to clarity.”

- Audre Lorde

*************

Rohan Batra was among the most looked upon fashion consultants in the city, born in a middle class family, he was the golden boy of Bombay’s emerging off contemporary fashion taste and had made his way right from the bottom. Owner of several stylist firms, he was also a painter, a social speaker, a close associate of various NGO’s as well as celeb designers. After dating a series of high profile names, Married to an ex Femina runner up, he had a beautiful cute little daughter. Even after a visibly transparent public life, he had his own set of secrets that he shared with none. Very few knew about his high sexual drive and his secret therapies for it that took place in Italy, whenever he went there for some show.

It had been a hectic day at work, a high profile life in a place like Bombay, had its own set of toll taking lows and as usual he decided to take a stop before driving home at Belches’ the high profile restaurant and Bar on the other side of town.

“1 Large peg, Antiquity, John”

“There you go sir” The barman replied promptly.

He gulped it at once, and then a few more, by the time he had realized it, he was drunk.

He was eyeing his way into the crowd when his view stuck at the girl right across his chair.

“Excuse me”. He waved a finger to the waitress.

She walked to him, swiftly and with composure, belled by practice.

“Yes sir… What can I get you?” Devika said, in her husky voice.

“I am feeling alone, have a drink with me” he smiled, drunk.

“My shift is on sir, I have work” she smiled, in a manner that was easy enough to encourage someone as drunk as him.

He held her by her hand. “John, Call the manager, say RB Sir is asking for a favor”

The barman smiled and nodded.

**************

They were in his car. He was driving her back home. “You are a very strange girl you know….”

“My Name is Devika Sir”

“Don’t call me sir… call me by my name”

“I am afraid; I don’t know your name”

“Don’t tell me! I thought, you agreed for the drinks and the drive with me, because you had recognized me” he giggled “and please don’t lie”

“I agreed because you said you were alone and I know what loneliness is” she said in a very sad tone, staring at the windscreen. He glanced from the driving wheel to look in her eyes, he knew, she was not lying.

******************

They were at her place, frantically taking off each other’s clothes. She was like a fire on bed, tempting, asking for so less and giving so much more. They made love like two hungry souls on a feast over each other’s body. It was strange, she left him bewildered and confused, their lust lasted till dawn. It was exhausting and refreshing at the same time.

He woke up with the thought, either she is very stupid or very sultry. She sat on the chair, waiting for him to wake up. Their eyes met, she smiled and kissed him good morning. Baffled by her whole composure, He decided to make the first practical move; He took a few five hundred rupee notes and kept them on the bedside, and walked to the washroom. She watched him with a smile as he did that. Ok done. She is just another slut, he concluded. He came out, dressed. Their eyes met, he failed to read her mind, and she was calm and expressionless but there was still a composed smile on her lips. They kissed and he left. Half way to his workplace while driving, he noticed a pile of five hundred rupee notes on the dashboard and a small piece of paper that read “I am not for sale, and I still don’t know your name, but I did had a great time with you, Thanks”

*******************

The day at office was dull; Rahul could just not set his mind on work. The family dinner at a relative’s wedding was even more boring. That night he made love with his wife and after she had slipped, he decided to take a small walk in the lobby. He felt detached to the things around him, he thought, what he had just done with his wife, was carnal and mechanic, just like it had always been and what happened between him and Devika, the other night, was no less than divinity. It was sensual and the whole mystery around that girl, made it all the more interesting.

********************

It another stuffed day at work. He decided to leave office early again. He made way to Belches’ again. He enquired about her while catching a few drinks, and was told that she was there for the weekend job only. He tried to get her number but all efforts went in vain and he could not get one. He left for home, his wife opened the door and looked stunningly beautiful, he kissed her on door, and they rubbed past against hallway walls to the bed room and had a highly warm love making session. He woke up in the middle of the night, and his head was paining. He saw his wife sleeping right next, he was taken aback, It’s not Devika, and I had been imagining her to be, whole of the night, he thought to himself, with a sadistic smile on his face. “I need to get that bitch again” he whispered and went on to make love with her wife, 2 more times, that same night, carrying the same fantasy in mind.

*********************

“Report” she said.

Detective Chaddha cleared his throat and began “Salman is currently in Nasik, traveling with his family for a holiday. He is due to leave country to work for some Arab private airline provider for the 6 months to follow from the next one.”

“Is that it?”

“Yes mam.”

She tossed a few hundred rupee notes and left.

“Keep the leaks coming” he heard her say as her enigma disappeared in the stairway.

********************

She was working as a helper backstage for the event where a lifestyle channel was organizing a talent hunt reality show to search for next top model. She noticed that among the judges, one of them was a familiar face when Rahul Batra was introduced in the huge roar of fans and followers. She was told by event volunteer to fix some Mic issue at the judge desk and pass the wireless mic from backstage to that point. She did as said. Their eyes met. He passed a smile, and she did not replied back with the same gesture. The show shoot started and Rahul found it hard to concentrate. He was experiencing extreme set of emotions, at first he was surprised by the sudden happiness he felt after seeing her, then he was hurt a lot by noticing that she might have not recognized her. He was thinking numerous possibilities all at once. The shoot lasted an hour and he walked backstage and found her collecting pay check to leave.

“Hi, Remember me?” he said, with a wide smile.

“Sorry?” she whispered and looked at him with a glance.

“We met last weekend, that night, at Belches’”

“I meet people very often due to changing workplaces; it’s hard to remember them all”

He said and walked past him. He felt as if he had been slapped and stood there for a few minutes, like a fool.

********************

She was walking back to her place, when Rahul’s car cornered her. The window came down and he asked her, if she wanted a lift back to her place. She said no thanks, and kept walking. His car zoomed, past her “The fuckin Bitch, What does he thinks of herself, I am Rahul Batra, I date super models, Who the fuck does she think she is” He yelled at her, in his car alone. His phone rang “Sir, I am Taneja, speaking from the event firm, I have got hold on the number of that girl… Its…. Hello?? Sir?? Do you want it??”

“Yes I very well want it” he heard himself say.

********************

“Hi Devika, This is Rahul. I was wondering if I can buy you dinner tonight, in case you are free”. He was calling for the fifth successive night. At first night, he had introduced himself again, and made her remember their first meeting. She had recalled it but to his shock, he had received a very dry response to that too. Since then, it had been a one sided effort to built friendship. “I am sorry Rahul, I will be eating at the workplace, shall be working till late tonight again” she said and kept the phone down.

There is something so addictive about rejection, people who are so used to acceptance, find it like an aphrodisiac, to prove the person rejecting him that they deserve her attention somehow or the other. She knew, that her rudeness, rejection and not-falling-in-his-arms-easily have left him baffled, confused and irritated. He was on a mission to win her and she knew that she has to plan her moves carefully, to cash on this momentum of need that had built around him, in the chain of events.

Her door bell ring. Dr. Tarun was standing with flowers in his hand.

“These are for you. Ready for dinner?”

“Yes I am.”

**************************

The Inconstant

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Tue, 10 May 2011 17:49:00 +0000

The night seemed to stretch on and on for Mridul. As yet another
colleague stepped into the lounge with his wife, Mridul lost his
temper and marched out. It was an end- of- the- year success party for
the media house he worked in. And it was one of those numerous
occasions when his wife Chaya refused to accompany him, as the
consequence of a feud.

Mridul headed to the bar, his hands tucked deep into the pockets of
his tuxedo, inadvertently thinking about their last heated argument.
Chaya had told him point blank that she would not be joining him for
dinner, and had stormed out of the house, apparently to stay the night
at her best friend’s place.
As he sat at the bar and ordered a classic whiskey, his eyes wondered,
searching for company. This place was also crowded with couples or
people huddled together in small groups. Just as he was about to
wallow in self pity, Mridul saw her- a beautiful woman in her forties,
swathed in silver lame and turquoise chiffon and dripping diamonds.

She sat alone, sipping on her second glass of vodka, looking
practically regal. It seemed like she felt his gaze on her because, a
moment later she turned to look at him. He smiled in response, his
handsome face lighting up with the twinkle in his eyes. Mridul
collected his drink and walked up to her.

“May I buy a drink for the beautiful lady?”

She smiled at him, her clever eyes shining, “The name is Setika. And
thanks, I’d like a martini.”

“Pleased to meet you, Setika.” He replied. “I’m Mridul, advertising
head of the ________.”

“I see…So you work under Naresh?”

That wiped the smile off his face. “You know my boss?”

Setika laughed, “Well, yes. I do. He’s my date.”

Mridul raised his eyebrows. What on earth was his stupid boss doing,
leaving this gorgeous woman behind to party with a bunch of
sycophants? Well, that is probably it- he must be enjoying all the
flattery before getting down to business, thought Mridul
condescendingly. “If I were him, I wouldn’t miss out on an evening
with you for anything.”

“Oh, it’s alright. I’m a little blue this evening and Naresh is not
exactly the sort of person who would lend you a shoulder to cry on.
He’s more of a man of action than of words, if you know what I mean.”

Mridul snorted into his drink. No wonder the moron had gotten
divorced. When he recovered, he said, “May I ask why you’re upset?”

Setika stared into the distance, and took her time. Mridul waited
patiently, having realized that she was choosing her words. When she
looked at him again he gave her a warm, benign smile. And Setika told
him.

“My husband called from London today. I told him I want a divorce.”
He should’ve guessed she was married. “I’m sorry.” He said softly.
“Was it very hard?”

Setika sighed. “He didn’t take it very well. He’s flying back to Delhi
tomorrow.” She locked her tearful eyes on his, trying to make him
understand. “He loves me. He really does. We have the perfect home,
two brilliant kids. But sometimes it’s just not enough.”

“What went wrong, Setika?” Mridul asked, his mind turning to his own
marriage, which was far from perfect. Would Chaya to that to him?

“I stopped loving him, Mridul.” A tear streaked down her fair cheek.
“And after my kids moved out of the house, my life just turned so
dull. Amar is frequently abroad and there’s only so much time I can
spend with my friends.”

“I understand, Setika. Please don’t cry.”

He was hardly the kind of guy who’d be seen carrying a handkerchief
around, so he gave her a tissue. Setika dabbed at her pretty eyes and
Mridul felt a strong urge to put his arms around her. She looked so
much younger than her years.

“And no matter what he’s like, Naresh does make me feel special…and
desired. I think I’m in love again.”

With the wrong man, Mridul wanted to say, but decided against it.
“Well, maybe it’s time for your life to change- for the better.”

“But I hurt Amar so bad.” She said, while she sobbed uncontrollably.
People were starting to stare at the two of them.

“The happiness of every single person in your life is not in your
hands. But the one person you can make sure remains happy is you.”

“Thanks, Mridul.” Setika said, as she wiped away her tears.

“Why don’t we take a walk?”

“Sure.”

Together, they walked into the posh gardens. He thought of leading her
to the bench by the fountain but stopped short when he noticed a
couple in the shadows nearby.

“Oops. Wrong timing,” Mridul winked at her and made to leave for the
other end of the garden. But she seemed rooted to the spot. Mridul
raised his eyebrows at her questioningly. Then he followed her gaze,
and swore under his breath.

“That’s Naresh with---”

“----Mehta’s wife!” Mridul grimaced. “That’s sick!”

The recently dried tears came flooding down Setika’s cheeks once
again. She started shivering violently. Alarmed, Mridul pulled her
away before his boss could see them.

“Setika, listen---”

“I want to go home, Mridul.” She gasped. “Please take me home before I
lose my mind.”

Finding her unable to speak coherently, he threw caution to the winds
and decided to drive her to his own house. When they pulled into the
driveway, he helped her out of the car and into the living room. As
soon as he locked the door, Setika collapsed into his arms, crying
incessantly.

“It’ll be okay.” He pulled her closer as he kissed her hair. She
smelled amazing. “The guy’s a total nymphomaniac, Setika. You deserve
someone so much better.”
She lifted her head to look at him. Setika had never even expected him
to be so understanding of her extra marital affair, and here he was
comforting her when she had found out that her lover had cheated on
her!

“I’m so sorry I ruined your evening, Mridul.” Said Setika miserably,
shaking her head.

“You are the best thing that happened to me this evening, Setika.
Believe me.” Said Mridul. And he kissed her softly on the lips.

***********

It was 1:00 A.M. when Mridul woke up, his arms around Setika as she
slept, her angelic face looking at peace. He kissed her nose
playfully, wondering if she’s wake up and, once again, make him feel
like he’d died and gone to heaven. When she didn’t wake up, he gently
laid her head down on the pillow and tiptoed downstairs for a glass of
water.

As he climbed down the flight of steps, he heard the landline phone
ring. Who the hell is calling right now? He wondered irritably. He’d
deliberately switched off his cell phone so that he couldn’t be
disturbed. Before he could answer the call, it went to the answering
machine. He chose to ignore it, but on his way back from the kitchen,
he changed his mind. Mridul played the message. It was Chaya’s best
friend.

“Mridul, it’s Sapna. Please call me back as soon as you can. I’m
calling from the hospital. Chaya was on her way to your party. Her car
collided with a truck.”

***********

(IMAGE SOURCE)

When Mirror Lies - 4

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 06:18:00 +0000

A tale of love, deception ... and Dreams that drive an innocent soul of a young beautiful girl into a self laid trap of lust and endless desires!!

CONTINUED FROM

Reaction is always superior to the cause, in a way that it alone represents a deed. Hatred in itself is a very strong emotion, misjudged in its character, it is the opposite of love and thus one can wonder how strong it can be.

When hate is the cause, vengeance is the reaction that occurs and sometimes, it alone, leads life to paths and misdeeds that one has never even heard of. It gives a motive, a purpose, and an aim, so clear that it can surpass every other desire of ours sometimes.

***********

Devika was a girl of strong passions, she felt more then she thought about things that happened to her. When it was his brother, his parents, his so called well wishers, who all led her down, she took it as a breach of trust, a loss to greed, and surrender to foremost human nature that is selfish in all its color. But love? Love starts from sacrifice, so selfishness can be ruled out, she thought. Then what? Why? Why? Why? Three weeks she sat on the same broken wooden chair, in the same lobby. She thought, cried and thought. Stage came, when tears no longer were a surprise, they use to pour almost naturally when a sound of a bird or the innate breeze of the night touched her. She cried for her state, for her life, for her being alive. She thought of death and the beautiful possibility of killing herself along with all the pain, but then there were answers that needed to be known. There were whys that were still riddle. She looked in the mirror and wondered why everyone she had ever met has taken her for granted. She stared at it with anger and almost like a moment of enlightenment, she got an answer. Trust. She understood that how easy it had been for everyone that ever entered in her life to win her trust, and she pledged that she might fall in love again, she might have friendships, she might have a family someday but none that would ever enter her life shall be given the vote of her trust. What she understood more was that she was beautiful and thus lust, a primary sentiment among the males shall be her strength. She knew that everyone who had ever seen her, had a hunger in eyes, a hunger to eat her, to use her, to throw her. Wait. No I will use them, I will use them for everything they had done to me, for everything that they still wish to do with me, and for everything that they will one day feel that they should never have done with me. She smiled to the girl in mirror. And then she saw her eyes. They were beautiful. She cried, and cried for the rest of the night and a few more nights that came.

**************

With the arrival of summer season brings its own optimism. Skies are bluer then ever and every aspect of nature it seems have come to peace. But then again, every positive aspect of life cannot combine to negate vengeance. It is too strong a emotion to be conquered, Especially when it has been originated from rejection.

Dr. Tarun was having a usual busy day at hospital, when she saw a familiar face coming to his desk. It was Devika.

“Hi Tarun…” she said, her voice was husky and her skin glowed like never before.

“Hey… Hi… I remember you mam, sorry your name again please?”

“It’s Devika… when is your shift ending, I need to talk and this place is pretty noisy”

“Sure, I will catch you in 10 minutes at the cafeteria ok”

****************

They were on the corner table, facing each other with a coffee in hand of each of them.

“So? Beautiful Devika, how have you been? And how is your baby?”

“You have a sharp memory, I must say” she replied with a smile.

“You have such an interesting face you know; it’s very hard to forget someone like you”

“Interesting? Ok. I guess beautiful was better” she laughed.

“So tell me, what brings you to me dear”

“My baby… I was hoping to get it out of me”

“You were what???”

“Get rid of it”

“Abortion??? But why, who is the father?”

“Not Abortion. I want to murder it” she laughed “hope I have answered the other two questions too with this remark, anyways the coffee is really good you know”

She left him shocked, numb, curious and interested with her number on the paper napkin, and a one line message “I have you and no one else, please help me… your friend, D”

***************

Detective Chaddha was a slim Sardar, graduated in psychology and claimed a false MBA degree that won him the license to have his own agency. He married a fat girl, who had a rich father, who sponsored all his futile expenses as well as those he did on his beautiful mistress. He had not come across any big assignments and his one room untidy office was symbolic to the idealism that his failure had offered him. He was looking busy and doing nothing when the sound of heels made him look at the girl who had just entered his room. It was Devika, in a black gown, hat and sunglasses.

“Hi Madam, Detective Chaddha at your service mam, I was behind the tapes that rocked the session’s house last week and also behind the actress prostitution sting and ….”

“Can we talk work?”

“Oh! Off course. What can I do for you this morning?”

“Not this morning. Every morning till this assignment is finished. Every damn morning” she sounded stern and confident. She threw a pile of 100 rupee notes and a picture of Mehul. He jumped at it like a greedy dog on a fresh bone.

“Get me everything you can on this man. Everything you can, I repeat”

“Ok and what if …”

“I have your number from yellow pages, I will call you next week to ask where my task has reached, and will come for a weekly payment on the same basis”

“What if I want to reach you?” he asked staring at the picture. “and by the way, who is this man and what is your connection with him?”

She had left by now. Only the lingering of her perfume, and reminisces of her beautiful eyes remained in his eyes, “she is better looking than my mistress, I wish I can have someone like her someday” he whispered with a sadistic smile to himself.

**************

Devika was laying on the hospital bed with all these hi tech scanners and machines surrounding her from all corners. A nurse and Dr. Tarun were also present in the room.

“Every test is normal, your pregnancy as well as your body is sound and healthy, I think it is time we move ahead with Abortion process in a day or two from now”

“Has the baby taken a full recognizable shape?”

“Not yet… but in a week or two from now…it would... actually the thing is…”

“Then I will have abortion after that” she said dryly as she sat on the bed.

“Are you mad? The more we delay it, the more dangerous it would be, Human body and the complications attached with it are not based on your whims and fancies ok” he was loud and strict in his mannerism.

“I want to see the face of the one, I am murdering” she smiled and left.

He stood still in his room wondering what was going on in the mind of this young insane girl. The nurse reentered the room to break his thoughts “Sir, the bills”

“I shall pay them with my next salary, put them in my account ok”

He was unaware that silently he has fallen in love with this girl and the strange mystery attached with her. She was aware of it very well though.

***************

“Mr Chaddha. Good morning. Report” The first sentence she said entering his office on the first morning of the week.

“Good morning mam, I was not expecting you so soon” he giggled, “though, you shall be pleased to hear that I do have some interesting information for you”, he laughed.

The lady on the other end seemed not so pleased with his light hearted gesture, she was motionless. No smile, no sign of curiosity, nothing at all.

“Report please”, she said, husky voice, no emotions at all.

He cleared his throat to begin. There was a fearful commanding air about this mysterious girl that had been unprecedented for Chaddha. He has met murderers, scoundrels and even serial killers in his journey as a detective but none had been such a mystery for him.

He started with the brief “ Name, Salman Anwar. Age, 34. Fair, 5 feet 10 inches. Use a fake license to work as a commercial pilot sometimes, for private charters near Pune. Has a non working housewife Shaistha, no children”. He paused to look into the eyes of the lady sitting across on the chair. Unmoved. No reaction. No sign of pain, happiness or surprise, nothing.

“Has several mistresses, I have account of almost 8 ladies here… shall I read it all?”

“Yes please”

“Alena cooper, 18, daughter of a priest in Goa. Riya Mishra, 22, a struggling model in Bangalore. Shreya Sen, 19, an engineering student in Chennai…” The list was long indeed.

“… and This one is most interesting, Shaba Malik, ex wife of an Arab Sheikh, He discovered their affair, she is 47 years old, and owns a range of porn websites, under the combined tag name of desi-baby. Interestingly, she and her son, Rashid who is almost of same age of Salman, share a very close camaraderie on face, Salman also works for the websites, as a content provider, He directs a few of these amateur clips, also stars in some as a close source told me” He giggled. The smile was disgusting.

“Is that all for now?” she snapped back.

“Yes mam”

“Keep the trace on, and continue collecting every piece of info on him” she said and tossed a bundle of 100 rupee notes before walking out of his room.

“Bitch” he whispered on her back.

***************

“You see, the scan visuals… that’s the face, those are the hands, the legs… and… that’s….” said Dr. Tarun, looking intently into the monitor screen.

“Enough! Kill it!” she said in the most dry and emotionless tone possible.

“Sometimes you scare me Devika; you talk, as if you are some maniac or something”

She smiled, and winked at him.

****************

The process of Abortion was very critical. It had been abandoned to a very last stage plus she insisted on the minimum possible use of anesthesia. She wanted to be awake to get it killed. The pain was unbearable, and it was more unbearable to see her laugh throughout the process, especially when tears kept falling out from her tender eyes. She laughed and roared, and collapsed to bed, and fainted in the bath of blood around her. In her sleep, she saw a dream where she was standing in front of mirror, she laughed at it “I have started killing him”. She looked happy in her dream, the mirror had lied again.

*****************

P.S. - Wo Bahut Royi us ek Ansoo k Khatir
Jise Nikalna tha kisi khushi k maukey par.
uski palkhon ko kisi ka daman mila hota..
Toh uske aksh bhi moti kehlaatey!

This story here by Dedicated to the eternity called Feminine. She is complicated and that's what makes her interesting.

When Mirror Lies - 3

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 19:22:00 +0000

A tale of love, deception ... and Dreams that drive an innocent soul of a young beautiful girl into a self laid trap of lust and endless desires!!

CONTINUED FROM

In days that followed, Devika found herself switching jobs every now and then. In a span of a couple of months, she had found herself as a typist, receptionist, bartender, waitress, event dancer and what not. Her jobs were brief because every time she crossed tenure of 5 days at workplace, she found herself coming across awkward taps on the back, ridiculous passes, flirty remarks and hungry eyes. Everyone it seems belonged to the same race, be it her colleagues, her employers, her customers, her acquaintances, everyone.

“what are you doing after work sweetheart?”, “are you alone in this butcher market baby?”,”how on earth will u survive the challenges of the society shona?”, “oh! Pity on you girl, don’t mind but I believe I have fallen in love with your innocence”,” come have a cup of coffee and we can carry on talks of your permanence on the dinner”, “I feel alone… prove me your employ-ability girl”. She had heard it all; she was now so used to such remarks that it hardly affected her anyways.

The most relaxing time of the day, was with Mehul. She would return home to surprises that were more then just pleasant. Hand cooked dinner, long drives, and moonlight hand in hand walks were almost daily affairs. In one of those early walks came out the following conversation –

“what do you do to make out a living ?” she asked, sipping the cola ice cream in her hand like a kiddo.

“nothing much… I can say, I struggle… “ he laughed.

“as in?”

“I try to act. Not been able to make it big though but gradually making contacts”

“so you are an aspiring superstar… hmmm not bad Mr Mehul haan”

“I am pretty good at what I do” he blushed.

“I would like to catch one of your shoots sometime around ok”

“yeah sure” he winked. And the topic was never raised again.

He used to leave home for shootings, and sometimes did not returned for days but whenever he did came back, they both made up for the lost time in an unforgettable manner. Love making sessions were extreme, they tried it all, he was a teacher and she… his curious student, and he bet she was a fast learner. There were 3 things in their steamy nights that never changed- Role play followed by an oral, repetitions and varied postures, and… a hidden camera (of which she had no clue).

*********************

That Saturday night, at gazebo club, she was working weekend as a waitress. While serving snacks to one of the younger group of guests, she found herself being stared in the most notorious of fashion. Not that it was the boys that were alone at fault, her skirt revealed more then it actually hid.

“1000 for a night baby” one of them whispered in her ear while she was picking up dishes.

“excuse me?”

“oh! Come on. I am already pricing you high. Ok 1200”

“Not interested sir”

“Fuck your interest, 1500… do you know who bloody I am” his voice was loud now.

“I surely do”. She slapped him hard right across his face and was about to move away from the table when two strong muscular arms grabbed her by the waist, and she was wrestling to save her dignity. She heard the back strap of her dress being torn off when she frantically kicked the guy, right in between his legs. The grip pressures loosen up almost immediately.

“I am sorry sir” ran the troubled bar manager, trying to pick up the guest. He looked less drunk now, still trying to recover from that blow.

“You bitch! You are fired” she heard the manager turn and scream at her.

She was close to tears but managed composure somehow. Music had stopped and the party had come to an unusual halt. She heard whispers like “this is what happens when you hire cheap and chracterless girls, they give suggestive looks to our young high class boys and then you have all this mess scene”.

She went to the changing room for waitresses and kept crying for almost till 2 in the night ,as the club partied on till 4 and after 10 minutes of that scene, everything seems to have come back to normal in the hall. At 2.30 she was in the manager’s cabin asking for her pay before she would leave.

“You kick minister’s son on the balls, break glasses in your hustle bustle with him, get me abused by my owner for ill decorum and then you ask for pay?”

“Was it my fault you son of a bitch?” suddenly her anger took over all the helplessness.

He stood up and threw a few hundred rupees notes on her face and screamed “get out!”

***********

Tiredness was all over her, as she started to walk back to her habitat, Mehul’s flat. She was so drowsy that she could hardly open her eyes. Her head was spinning while she was crossing the road to take a subway, and last he saw were a pair of bright lights and sounds of screaming breaks.

************

“How are you feeling now?” she opened her eyes to a pleasant whisper of a female voice. After the bright ceiling bulb had screamed to her dim vision, she could manage to recognize the place and surroundings. This was government hospital, the rotten smell of medicine and flesh everywhere. People laying as wounded piece of craps in every direction at every possible bed or floor space possible in that fuggy hall . she had minor injuries, very minor actually and was told to move from the bed, as soon as she was conscious. Before moving for a check out, she met Dr. Arun, a young intern, who was crossing the road at the same time when she bumped into the bonnet of a white fiat, the car was slow and clumpsy in its mannerism and she fainted before the impact of the minor crash, probably by the fearful anticipation of it.

“Hi Devika… I know your name, by the train ticket that I found in your purse”

“?”

“oops! I am sorry… I was not supposed to look into it na” he smiled “but then… how would I have got you registered in here no”

“I am fine now, can I leave, it had been a hard day at work”

“where do you work mam?”

“?”

“ok! Your silence tell me, you don’t wanna tell, anyways smile lady… cos you are absolutely fine and so is your baby”

**********

She took a taxi from hospital to home. She had mixed emotions about the news. She was not sure, if she was more happy or sad or insecure or confused. She found Mehul whispering on phone, the call was disconnected immediately as she entered.

“where the hell have you been sweet heart? I was so worried” he said and hugged her tight. Concern was genuine.

“I met with a small accident at both work place as well as on the way home” she whispered, her head burrowed in his chest, as they hugged tight.

“tell me about it”

“I have something else to tell you first…”

“what?”

“I am pregnant with your baby”

“……..” his eyes went wide, his lips went dry, he was still, the hug was on but the grip went weak, he was quiet. The room went soundless, only the creaks of ceiling fan audible.

“I don’t know how it happened baby, I don’t want to be a burden on you, we can get it removed tomorrow itself please” she sobbed in her arms.

He kissed her on lips. They kissed for almost five minutes. He kissed her eyes, her tears, her cheeks, her neck, her forehead. “Are you crazy? I love you a lot baby. This is the happiest news I have heard in a long while, I can find myself a job and take acting part time and you can work along side me… but before that we have to marry”

Her heartbeat had stopped with happiness. She left herself loose in his arms, and cried with joy. This was the happiest moment of her life, her insecurities and fears were strangled by her visions of love security and prosperity. The world around her had changed, she was on heaven. They kissed again. This time, it was longer, sweeter, happier then it had ever been before.

“Look I am going to station to book train tickets to Pune, my parents stay there, we shall leave day after tomorrow and marry there itself, I want us to live there till your delivery OK, in all the care and comforts of home” he giggled.

She saw a small tear of happiness falling from her eye.

“I will bring temple flowers on my way back OK, and start packing, but please take care, you have the little angel in you now” he laughed. They smiled and kissed again. “Bye, are you are awake when I am back and in the mood to party” he winked and do wait for me for dinner, I will be back in 15 minutes and will bring a bottle of wine along, make sure I find you awake and in a mood to party, when I am back." he winked and left.

She gave him a flying kiss. He did the gesture back. Her beautiful face lit up, she felt blessed to have a guy like him, and she was in love with him more then ever by what had happened between them in past 10 minutes.

***********

“Rashid Bhai, I have taken a cab to the station, I will come home from morning passenger and I am bringing the last set of tapes with me for upload, haan haan yeah the last ones, no no the bitch is pregnant and she thinks I will marry her” he giggled.

She sat for 3 days on the same chair where he had left her, watching the door. He did not returned.

*************

PS - This is an edited version of the original text. It's a more then 10 part story which I had been writing ever since August last year in my diary. It was a work so close to my heart that I lost all the enthusiasm of posting it on my blog when it opened to weak and very few feedbacks. On continues heart flattering pull of my soul elder sister Anushree Didi, I have regathered the courage to post this piece of my soul here :)
I am extremely sorry to all my loyal readers (if any of you have remained now :D) for being very infrequent to my blog space for almost whole of last 2 months, I have had all the time in the world to write my blog, I confess, but somehow I feel someone within me is crying for some reason, and I believe, no matter how clearly I will say that here on this page, I will not be heard by anyone :')
love and blessings, take care!

For The Girl I love

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 19:12:00 +0000

I pray to god, you read this!

I wish to god, you smile again!
I beg to god, you stay happy forever.

I might be the sick ass, who fails to reply sms’es, who ends up frowning for no reason, who disappear without notice, who fails in whatever he does, who cry every night…. But behind all that I do… I wish you to hear me say, I love you!

(Image Source)

--------------------

Kuch arsey pehley
Ek kashish thami mere dil mein kahin
Ek aarzoo jaise puri ho gayi
Khwaishon k paeymaane kuch is kadar bhare
Ki jaise tujhe paaney k baad
Koi hasrat hi na bachi ho!

Jis ek tamanna ka
Barson se sahara tha
Anjaan tufaano mein
Jab khoya sa kinaara tha
Toh aapne mayoosi k beech
Muskura k
Phir Umeed ki aas jaga di

Us chahat ko bayaan karna
Shabdon mein mumkin nahi
Jis chahat ki kahani ka
Koi ek kinaara na ho

Meri palkhon mein jhaankiye phir ek baar
Mehsus hoga ki main aapse
Kitna Pyaar karta hun!

(Image Source)

--------------------------------

Yet again, I am thinking of you
Yet again, I am falling short of words
Yet again, I know I am in love
Yet again, I am not sure if you are listening….
Yet again, I am crying on my desk
Yet again, I am watching you smile
Yet again, I am sure one day you would not be mine
Yet again, I am grateful that someday you were!

This Isn’t just another love story, Four years, Fourteen thousand fights, The turbulence, The paranoid nights, The wasteful days, The tormenting evenings, and The assuring patch ups, The hope, The dreams, The love and The silences. Magic is all I have to say.

Yes Magic, What else can it be, That makes me fall in love with you Again and Again and Again.

(Image Source)

___________________________

If you are reading me, Imagine me right now… sitting in the same room where we first kissed, on the same bed, where we lay in each other arms…. Looking into each other’s eyes, on the same pillow which I used to place on your waist as I rested my head. Do you remember how we use to smile, and Play and giggle, and smile more.
I am sounding a little dumb as I say it again…. I miss each of those moments spent with you, I miss you princess, I am not even half as happy and neither would I ever be…without you!

Har aansu ki kahani ek apni hai
Har raat ki rawaani ek apni hai
Mohabbat ki sargam mein
Ek dhun purani apni hai

Yun chut gaye hain kuch yaadon k panne
Ki bin unke Zindgaani ki kitaab adhuri lagti hai
Yun reh gaye hain kuch rishtey puraane
Ki unke bin har saans beymaani lagti hai

Bas ek janam ka saath…
Kya kuch jyada maanga tha?

I try every night and every day not to think of you
I end the effort in vain drowning in memories of you
Smiles are an illusion like the vanity of some shot of smack
I crib my bed, I rip my soul, and I beg for god that you be back

Last Night again….
You were in my dreams
It was raining again, You see every time we meet, There are showers of happiness.
I tip toed closer you and Whispered “Thanks”
Your beautiful eyes widened and you smiled a simple “For what?”
I smiled back saying “For what I am looking at”
You blushed and we kissed.
Ah! Those dreams!

*********************************

In a very strange way

One time I needed you

In a very strange way

I think I am still in love with you

In a very strange way

I think I want to cry

In a very strange way

You are the reason why

In a very strange way

I owe what I am to you

In a very strange way

You have made me…

Whole

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO YOU….

I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE DAY ITSELF… BUT I DO BELIEVE IN ONE SIMPLE FACT…

“I LOVE YOU”

****************************

Gangster's Last Call

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 19:03:00 +0000

Because Somebody's fiction is Somebody's reality.....

*Deserted Dark and gloomy background*

A young man drags himself in the corner, his light brown skin, dark black hairs and white dress visible.

It had been raining for the past two hours. At this late hour, the streets were almost abandoned in that part of suburb. Bombay was asleep but not at peace, it never was.

The shadow ran past a few trash cans and crashed into the dimly lit phone booth.

His hands were shivering and his face was pale white. It took him immense effort of dial the number, each time, the good old trunk returned to zero. He shuffles his palm in pocket and brings out some change, leaving a few five hundred currency note pile dropping by on booth floor and a red tainted stain on pocket patch.

On the other end, phone was ringing. It rang and rang…and then there was a beep. The call went Unanswered. A tear encircled the dark circles around his eyes, and a sweat drop from his forehead touched ground. He closed his eyes…and murmured a whisper of a prayer, his expressions of desperation haunting every minuscule of his face. The phone was ringing again.

There was an answer this time around, a sleepy voice of a girl, dulcet as heaven.

“Hello….”

No answer.

“Hello…? “

No answer

She opens the night lamp on her bed side, and slide herself up to sit, resting over the pillow, supporting her bare back. Cream brunette hairs, shining to the face of lamp bulb, and hazel eyes. Deep eyes. Sad eyes. Empty eyes.

“Is that you….???” Her voice was a whisper this time.

(*with heavy breath*) “Yeah it’s me Shirley….” He gulped the blood cum saliva that came from his throat along with voice.

“Can I talk to her for a second?”

“Yes you can…. But I don’t think… she would recognize your voice”

“And why is that?”

“Because giving birth to a girl…. Doesn’t mean… you become a father Asif”

(Coughs!) “Shirley… do we always have to fight?”

“Always??? You call once in months now Asif, I am sick of this…. There are issues at home… that you know nothing off… sending pay checks at home, doesn’t fulfill my need of a husband, and her need of a father…. Have you ever thought of it?” her voice started to break.

(Gulps another patch of blood) “Where is my little angel… can I hear her please?”

“Are you okay Asif? I know you are not. Are you drunk again? Have you had drugs? You don’t sound yourself….” A slight worry and concern in her voice.

“Give the phone to her….”

“This is not the answer to my question”

“JUST DO IT!” screams. Very loud. The dog at the corner of deserted drenched street raises his ears.

Silence from the other end. Shirley wakes the 8 year old immensely cute young girl, sleeping right next to her.

“Urgh….(she rubs her eyes, those twinkling ocean blue eyes, beautiful like her mother’s) What is it mom?”

“Hey, daddy on call sweetie, Talk to him.”

“Hello… Ada?” He manages to speak, as composed as he could.

“……” silence greets him.

“Ada my angel…. How have you been sweetheart?”

“……”

“Okay so I am goanna get silence now… I know you are upset with me baby, I couldn’t come for your dance competition in school, but daddy had work honey….I told you I would try” (heavy breaths and pain).

“You told me… you would come…. You lied again daddy”, fighting in her sugar tone.

“I would come next year, I promise, I swear on my life”, (smiles and looks above, a tear falls from his eyes)

“We will see….” (She smiles)

“I love you sweets”

“I love you too daddy… I miss you everyday….”

“good night sweetheart, go to sleep, be a good girl… daddy loves you jaan, give the phone to mumma”

Pause.

“You should see… how you can make her smile Asif, me you and her… we have a family here, can’t you come back…for forever and leave everything else”

“I love you Shirley”

“I know Asif… I can see it in your eyes, it’s been years since I last saw those eyes…. I just need you here, I can’t handle anything here…. I really can’t… she needs a father, I need a husband….I need a partner” *sobs*

“I love the white suit you wore for our wedding… will you wear that again if I would come?”

“I would do everything you would say… everything …. Just come”…”please”, she starts to cry.

Pause.

“Honey… behind the wooden Elmira in kitchen, there is a bag….It has some papers, some money, my diamond wedding ring, and some old insurance papers of my parental property….” His voice starts to break.

“Why are you telling me this….? Tell me you are ok Asif. Tell me love. Allah!” she burst into tears.

”You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me Shirley. I wish I would have never got into this, and have listened to you…. Take care sweetheart…I will be back soon… take care of my angel too, I want to see you both smiling, when I come this time around”. A bunch of tears falls from his eyes.

(Behind the fog on the adjacent corner to it)

“There he is”… a gunman points to his leather jacket partner. “Behind that broken phone booth” he whispers.

GUN SHOT!! Wham! Wham! Wham!

A dark blank.

The receiver hanging from its chord

Saying….”I love you Asif…. Hello? Hello? …. Hello daddy?...Hello jaan? Hello?”

Tears and screams.

*******************************

Backdrop - I am speechless and unaware of the source of what made me pen this down. I just started typing and things shaped up to this. Many a times, our lives become entangled enough and in thoughts of... sometimes ambitions, sometimes greed, sometimes hunger and need... we tread the forbidden roads of crime. They appear silvery, but of all that history has witnessed, we all know... of where they end. In a deserted corner, on a lonely bed, in a pool of blood or in a can of trash. These roads have a knack of leading to painful ends. I wish and pray nobody ever walks those roads again. Everything destroys in the end, reasons don't matter then, fate does.

I am not intentionally penning down pain, but grey had always been my color of pen. And grey is the color, that I take in the most from how I observe things around.

(IMAGE SOURCE)

PS - Thanks to all the new followers, and people in the comment box, if you would not have been there....I would have never got the enthusiasm to keep coming back with something or the other, please do keep the comments coming, do let me know, how you find the stuff around here, Please keep guiding me, my blog angels.

Ragpickers in fog!

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 19:17:00 +0000

Because someone's fiction is someone's reality

It has been the coldest patch that they had witnessed.

“Amma ne jaldi bulaya hai... aaj, bola hai 6 baje k pehle ghar aajana”. The younger one told his elder brother.

“Then why on earth are you standing there like a dumb ass, give me a helping hand sisterfucker”, he retorted back.

“Ok ok , why are you shouting on me….”

“pick that one up… It’s a newspaper, would help even in some household stuff”

*Opens the newspaper and his eyes widens*

“Hey… did you see that? Gosh! Crores of rupees … IPL bidding…. Hey… what is bidding? How many zeroes are there in a crore?”

“I am just feeling too cold to answer any of your stupid question you sister fucker, just focus on work, pick that two rupee torn note too, mother can glue it up to buy a piece of bread tomorrow”

“Huh! You are elder to me; this doesn’t mean you abuse me all the time….”

“try and search a scarf or something if possible for mother, I don’t think she would survive the cold this year, she was coughing the whole night”

“Hey… see…the next news, this girl out here with long legs… she got lakhs of rupees for a new year dance at some night dance thing, for one hour….what is this night club? Does lakh has more zeroes than crore?”

“will you shut the fuck up?”

“oh my god… look at her, she looks like an angel with big boobs (laughs!) how many breads and milk packets can one buy from a lakh rupee note”

“I will slap you now if you don’t shut up… please try and find some useful stuff and hold off that newspaper”

“ok ok… stop yelling, uuuuuuuh! Its so cold”

“HEY LOOK THERE!!”

“THERE IT IS………………!! “

“but it’s under a big pile…and it’s smelling like dog shit out there too”

“why wouldn’t it?, Dint you noticed that angry bastard sitting right there, seems he has found something to eat close by”

( a brown dog sitting over trash)

“Its not he, It’s a she… bitch!”

“keep your fucking knowledge up to you…. Let’s try and throw some stones at him and then get that thing out of the trash”

“she looks angry…. I think we should search elsewhere” says the younger one.

“No way……..”

“There are a few big one’s there”

Younger one picks up a set of stones and Throws on the bitch. She runs in fury, in attack mode and catches finger of the younger one with a long jump. The other boy kicks her away. She runs into fog!

(crying) “It’s bleeding”

“take this polythene and rub it off, and be a boy now for god sake, don’t act like those stupid young kids, which needs dettol to even have a bath”(laughs out at his own sarcasm!)

“Its so cold, my hands are almost numb”

“better for you, that would ease pain…. In the meanwhile I will get that scarf out”

(the younger one taking his finger in mouth to suck off blood drops)“I will dance in new year’s night too……. When I grow up, that would end our misery days of poverty”(smiles)

(The other one digging trash) “they don’t pay shitheads to dance”(giggles)

“I would grow balls too na…. big deal” (laughs!)

(After a pause)

“sister fucker! SHUT UP! It’s not a scarf….its a torn socks”

And they both laughed till they started coughing with cold!

***********************************************************************************

Back drop – I am sitting in a warm blanket, there is an electric heater right next to me, illuminating, heating up my room…and I am holding a warm glass of coffee in my hand, still I am shivering a bit, it is that damn cold. Kanpur just like every city in north India currently is under extreme cold wave and fog laden cover.

In a country where 1 lakh 76 thousand crore rupees gets eaten off by some bloody corrupt individuals, the only difference between those battling survival in bare bodies and me is a sheer destiny of birth. I was born in the household where one telecom scandal, one raise in onion prices affects me not in day to day life immediately…. Whereas for those out there, laying on the pavement, every single coin of government treasury that they so rightly deserve for some help, matters. Conditions out there are in humane to say the least. There are people out there who need help, this isn’t a tsunami, this isn’t an earthquake, but it is equally tough because life is at stake. Official toll of death count in UP is 110, just after three successive days cold wave, specially in a state where our respective CM wears a multimillion garland now and then, I wonder if even a 35 rupee sweater that is sold on a cart can save someone’s life. I just wonder at times, how the only thing that matters is birth.

P.S. – help those in need. This isn’t an appeal or a plea, it’s a reminder, be human. go out there, give just a pair of socks, an old blanket, an unfashionable sweater, anything....It would be valuable to someone, It would make a difference.

Silence Speaks For Itself

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 16:24:00 +0000

Sometimes you just need to be quiet

In the shadow of darkness away from the sight

Lying in corners like a broken piece of art

Entering the numb with a shattered heart

Nostalgic over things that never really were

Caressing the memories of time spent with her

Ending those nights crying in candle light…

Sometimes you just need to be quiet

Sorrow of past have a knack of coming back

Piercing you more when you are already in a rack

Etching you till the final thorn of pains

And leaving you with blood and stains

Knowing that you might never feel alright

Seldom you even slide within your bed and hide…

Sometimes you just need to be quiet

For others it seems all so baseless

Only one himself know where he was careless

Reminding yourself of sins committed in broad daylight…

Sometimes you just need to quiet

In scorching cold and foggy mist

Tears add in to your messed up shit

Suddenly everything around seem so gloomy

Ending one’s own self seems like a bloomy

Laughing in your failures and plight

Finally quitting those chase and that fight

Sometimes you just need to be quiet

**********************

*********************

NOTES FROM THE POEM -

This is the first time I am posting an Acrostic poem on my personal blog. I have attempted this genre on TWL in the past. A brief intro of this form for my blog readers - An acrostic is a poem or other form of writing in which the first letter, syllable or word of each line, paragraph or other recurring feature in the text spells out a word or a message.

BACK DROP - I have always been a social animal, belonging to groups, having friends at school and college always texting someone, messaging someone, calling someone etc. Though lately, I have started believing in the concept of not sharing weak aspects of myself, with even those whom I call friends. I have come to an utter conclusion... That... when one is at a low, one should be quiet, keep emotions to one's ownself. The more you tend to speak and share, The more resilience and self ability to stand, you tend to lose. SILENCE SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, is a note to that belief.

----------------------------------------

P.S. - A very happy new year to you. I know this is not the kind of stuff one wishes to read, specially at the start of new year but... I kind of have had a rather shitty start to the year, and when I sat down to scribble something, I ended up writing this. Apologies. How have things been at your end? hopefully I would be blogging in a prolific manner all through this month, and If I would get regular comments, The journey would seem easier. Love you all. Thanks

P.P.S - I would like to specially thank my friend Vidisha for always commenting on this blog and for being a patient part of the team here for so long. Its a bliss to meet people like you in a blog world, that at times, seems so so unknown :( Thanks

(IMAGE SOURCE - a template cover picture at Blogskins.com )

Verses of The Dead

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 17:18:00 +0000

As Mist drains from heaven to earth,

The epitaph finds verses of mirth…

Of falling heroes and rotten salads,

Unending quests and Unspoken ballads,

Chains of fury and temptations of pleasure,

Untapped potential and hidden treasure.

----

Of sorrows in happiness and pain in joys,

Of things that one takes for granted and never rejoice.

The lost glory in forgotten songs of rust,

And words that came from shear frust.

Things of beauty that never really were,

Glasses of wine that needed a fresh stir,

Whispers that long raged within to find a voice,

And moments that helps us make a choice….

Of when to do,

And what to say...

Those screaming sounds

That ended in pray.

Rise of an angel,

From the coffins of hell…

The unprecedented trauma

That left me in a shell....

Some who went and left a hole,

Faces yet smiled though burned was the soul,

And prayers that went unanswered again,

And reactions that could have left anyone insane.

The fresh curry of new dreams,

A new set of rush and streams.

Of strings that now, might never be played

Belonging to the melodies, that have still stayed

And those blue pair of eyes….

That still finds a shelter in my poems

The smile that rests on those angelic lips

And the pink color of her finger nail tips

That last bus which I wish she would have missed,

And that last time when we should have kissed.

Of the shoulds and might….

And the wrongs and right…

From would be and could be….

To must be and may be…

The questions remain the same,

The shadow that is still timid and tame

In the prayers of seeking a path of rest

The one that for me would be the best.

-----

And hopefully the sun would rise….

And hopefully It would find me here…

Resting in the grass laden in mist…

That came from heaven above….

Soaked me…

Burnt me….

And left me in the nirvana

Where I met myself as same!

….. and The epitaph was speaking again!

*********************************

PS – This came out, I don’t know from where…. I just sat, texted and published this one. It has too much of what I wish to say right now… Where was I ? Why was I gone? Why am I back ? :P everything is somewhere in this….
Dedicated to a set of songs… hearing them again and again lately, have got me bouncing back somewhat to writing. The first 3 that comes to mind as of now are “Don’t cry” and “Sweet child O’ Mine” by Guns and Roses and “Nothing else matters” by mettalica. Old classics and yet effective in drenching out the rust that seeps in at times : )
(The cover picture source : This too is a homage to the spirit of song writing, lyrical mystique and the aroma of music that liberates the soul and cure the wounds)
Plus…My dear friend Salil Shankar, has been a constant support all this while, Thanks for encouraging me to tryin to do it again…what I have always loved the most. : ) U rock!

PPS – Belated blog anniversary to everyone who has ever been a part of this blog, have read me, have supported me, have criticized me, or have even opened this page once. I owe you guys. Thanks for being there always. You mean the world to me : )

When Mirror Lies - 2

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 05:54:00 +0000

A tale of love, deception ... and Dreams that drive an innocent soul of a young beautiful girl into a self laid trap of lust and endless desires!!

Though a complete story in itself, yet it is actually Continued from...

Every year, hundreds of thousands of young girls come to Mumbai, with a million precious and delicate dreams of a starry future shining in their eyes. Most of them give up the dream of becoming a star and settle to a less ambitious life in some other profession or simply end up as housewives on their return to the small cities which they actually belong to…And then, there are some who end up as objects of a sinful world that operates somewhere in forbidden corridors of the city. Devika was one of them…but she was also someone who rose from those corridors and made her way into other sections of the society; she was a phoenix who was destined to rise from the ashes… She was a virtual masterpiece in motion, a sculpture… her features were flawless. From a distance, she looked stunning, an almost perfect figure with long, curly black hair and as one reached closer, one noticed her deep, seductive eyes, beautifully shaped eyebrows and a smile that was almost too beautiful to be real.

It was raining heavily that day, and she was being pushed around by a crowd on her way from the platform to the exterior of the Bombay Rail terminus. It was a mad mess. People were stepping on each other, truly reflecting the actual nature of the commercial capital of the country… which is absolutely ruthless. Unlike several shaken and miserable looking people who were soaked to their skin, Devika was enjoying every bit of it. This is it! This is where I belong. This is the place which shall be the witness of my rise to power. She was a dreamer, acting on her impulses and unaware of the law of nature…Sooner or later, what goes up has got to go down!

“Take me to an expensive hotel…somewhere.” She spoke with obvious excitement in her voice.

The taxi driver was a very old and shabby looking fellow. He watched her carefully, his mind working furiously.

“Theek hai beti…”

She boarded the taxi and the meter started running.

On their way…

“First time in Bombay?” He asked. His voice was soft and warm, a fatherly tone and a sense of belonging were clearly reflected in it.

“Yes… why?” She replied innocently.

“It’s just that, if u need a job or something… just consult my sister… She runs a salon, in Bandra…Here’s her business card.”

“That’s very kind of you…I had to search for a job anyway…”

“She is always looking for fresh talent, upcoming models and all, for in-store fashion shows…and you are a fine looking lady…so the pleasure is all mine. I shall have my commission!” He laughed.

“Are you sure that there is a vacancy?”

“You bet I am. Her office is on the way to the hotel, we can stop by and talk to her about it.”

“That would be great,” she smiled. He smiled back, in the rearview mirror. It is all so easy; lady luck seems to be on my side. She thought, and said a silent prayer of thanks.

*************

“There is certainly a place for a new model…you can start as an intern.” A middle aged woman with calculative eyes said to her. She was sitting on a sofa. The interior of the office was dirty and disorganized. There was a reception, a central room in the building, and a staircase that led to the upper storey. “Have you ever been into modeling?”

Devika felt an urge to lie. But she spoke the truth. “No… But I will give it my best.”

“I am sure you will.” She smiled reassuringly, and nodded.

An unhealthy, stricken, weak old man stepped down from the stairs and with him was a lady with chubby features, dressed in skimpy clothes. They were smiling at each other. “Room No. 22 is free…five hundred… twice!” she said, addressing the lady on the sofa, and smiled at her. A certain sense of foreboding started creeping into Devika.

“Twice! Hmm…you enjoyed a lot Mr. Patel, didn’t you? You are growing old, but deep within, you are still a passionate young man!”

“Just the last flame I guess,” He smiled shyly. “Who is this? She was not introduced in the afternoon… that’s cheating!” He was staring at Devika’s body like a hungry dog and she suddenly realized that her suit was low cut and was somewhat exposing her bulging breasts. She felt uncomfortable and panicky.

“Oh! Monica… she just arrived, a fresh piece from the North! She is an untouched angel from the valley of God, look at her skin… Not tasted yet.” She laughed in a disgusting manner.

“One thousand…she’s mine.” He said, his mouth nearly watering with desire.

“No chance… don’t you see her….she is worth a diamond.” The lady on the sofa fired back.

“Two.”

“Five…and not a paisa less than that.”

“I’ll give you six.”

“Done! Room No. 28. Off you go!”

“Where is she???”

And they turned, only to find her gone!

**************

She was running as fast as she could, till she reached a bench placed on the pavement near the road end, almost a long way passed that place. She sat there, sweating. Nervous and taking short breaths. Recalling… “ just arrived, a fresh piece from North! Not tasted yet.” Bitch! She thought aloud.

Then she noticed a tear rolling on her cheek and she also saw a few strangers watching her from the fast cars that were rushing fast on the road. It was close to 6 in the evening and the sun was getting weaker, it’s bright light was being eaten away from the darkness being spread, as night was pushing herself over day.

She was alone…A stranger in an unknown world! And then she realized that she had left her bag and baggage at that whorehouse while running away. She felt a lump in her throat and the fear in her heart brought about a million emotions that went rushing through her mind. She started shivering. It was getting cold, and there were a number of drunken eve-teasers eyeing her. She was sure that someone or the other would soon try to corner her and take advantage of her in all possible ways.

As she sat there, Devika thought about what to do. she smelled alcohol odour closing by. She turned back and three guys, all of them heavily drunk, were staring at her, analyzing her from top to bottom. One of them took a step forward and she heard him say, “Akeli ho, Jaaneman…???”

.

.

.

Her heart was pounding so hard, it was a miracle that she managed to hear the pleasant voice behind her say, “Mujhe der ho gayi kya…?”

From the corner of his eye, the stranger gave a harsh, unfriendly look to the drunken group, before smiling at her. Devika smiled back. The men immediately stepped back. She breathed a sigh of relief and held his hand and they disappeared from the sight of those cheap drunkards.

He was a young and handsome looking stranger, who held on to her hand, and before she could realize where they were heading, guided her to the more lighted pavement on the other side of the street. Their brisk walk gradually became slower. It started to rain. They took shelter under the tin covered ceiling of a bus stop, which was over crowded as it always was. And Devika couldn’t stop smiling. The relief was evident in her eyes, as was a sense of satisfaction in her heart…and there was a certain thrill that was completely new to her.

She had just been saved from getting raped and, who knows, had perhaps also escaped death. She looked into the eyes of the stranger beside her, and he smiled back. Almost six feet tall, he had ocean green eyes, and a clean shaven face. Boyish, amiable and appealing. Before she could have said managed to say, “Thanks…”, he spoke, as though he’d read her mind. “I am glad I was there, and managed to save an angel”.

She blushed, touched by the gentle, warm and manly voice in which this fascinating, gorgeous stranger was flirting with her. It was neither embarrassing, nor uncomfortable. In fact, it was very friendly, and strangely comforting. They talked freely, oblivious to the noise of the crowd and the rain. Devika kept going on and on about everything that had happened to her the entire day. He listened to her with rapt attention and occasionally gave humorous and witty comments, while she caught her breath before carrying on.

Before she knew it, the rain had stopped. She finally realized that it was only the two of them standing there by that time, laughing and giggling, completely lost in their own little world.

“Want to have dinner with me? Unless you want to go back and enjoy the company of those three friends of yours whom we treated in a very uncivilized manner…I feel so sorry for them now! Let’s go back and say sorry na…” He laughed, and pretended to walk back to where he’d seen her with those men. She held his hand tight and, looking deep into his eyes as if a sense of belonging was ruling her, she replied in a whisper, “Dinner with you is a pain I’m willing to bear.”

And they laughed again… They breathed in the intoxicating smell of the mud that comes with the rain, as they strolled to a Chinese restaurant nearby. They talked of mutual dreams and aspirations… he wanted to be an actor and she told him that she hoped to be a model. He ordered a host of dishes on the table, most of whose names she had not even heard of, but she loved each one of them.

After a lavish and delicious dinner, Devika- on having finally realized that she’d forgotten something very important- exclaimed, “Oh! I am so sorry…I didn’t even ask your name!”

He smiled. “It is not a very common name, but some day, when I will rule the world, it will sound familiar.” And then, after a short pause, he said “Mehul.”

She found herself admiring this young boy for being a dreamer… she instantly felt that she could totally relate to him.

"Do you know any place that you can think of to stay for the night,its late now",he asked with a genuine concern in his tone.

"Not exactly",she replied. Her face looking like a baby.

“I live in a one room flat nearby. I will stay at my friend’s place and you can stay there till you find a place to live in.”

She was very taken aback by his words. It felt like he was an angel sent from heaven, just to take care of her. “No…I really don’t want to trouble you anymore…You have already saved my life twice today…”

“Twice??”

“Yeah! I would have died from hunger anyhow, even if I’d have managed to escape from getting murdered by those monsters…” She actually managed to laugh at her own helplessness. His eyes were seemingly looking sad immediately when she said No and he said...

“I would really be happy to help you, Devika…Please, don’t say no! Someday, when you will become a supermodel or an actress, I would feel that I played my part in your rise to fame and fortune.”, his face was innocent and his lips were beautiful as they moved while he spoke.

She loved him for what he’d just said. It made her feel less frightened. She had almost been regretting running away from Delhi, but she found herself hanging on to her dreams, now that this young man had helped her remember that she was here to rise! I will. She thought.

“I will stay… but I will sleep on the couch and you will sleep on the bed, not in some friend’s place, please…”

He agreed.

*****************

His flat was beautiful, small yet very tidy. The walls were colored sea green and there were beautiful paintings and tiny decorative pieces on the wall. They all gave the place a personal touch of the soft hearted gentle boy it belonged to.

“Like it?”, he asked cutely.

“Love it…!” she said sounding excited.

“The couch is in the lobby… Good night.” Mehul smiled at her.

“Thank you…” Said Devika, smiling back, her eyes shining.
She reached out to thank him with a warm hug…and he took her into his arms willingly.
“The won’t be needed….” She whispered in his ears smiling, a seductive shine in her eyes and then their lips met almost fusing into one. And with an unapologetic haste, they took off each other’s clothes and ended up loving each other, consuming totally into the ecstasy that engulfed them. And then it was over. Relaxed and happy, she slept in his arms.

He gently lifted his hand on which Devika’s innocent head rested, so as to not disturb her sleep. He kissed her on the forehead. She was beautiful. Innocent and divine. He went to the lobby and made a call on his cell phone.

He whispered, “Rashid Bhai…Salmaan speaking. I will mail you the tape tomorrow. Please send the check by my wife’s name, as always…And you will love the girl this time! She is an amateur, but better than any pornstar of the West…This will be a big hit on your website…mark my words.” He laughed, enjoying a sense of victory.

When mirror lies - 1

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:40:00 +0000

A tale of love, deception ... and Dreams that drive an innocent soul of a young beautiful girl into a self laid trap of lust and endless desires!!

It was raining. She was staring out of the window, recalling when it all started. And then there were tears in her eyes, unlikely of her nature to cry but then she thought " Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water" and with this she went back in time... back... back... back....!!

*********************

There was unspoken sadness in the air when Malti bai announced, “Ladki hui hai…”. The enthusiastic bunch of a few relatives that had taken the pain to come by to eat some sweets for free, on the birth of a boy, left the hut disappointed and apologetic. Devika opened her eyes to a hostile world.

Ever since she last remembered, she was not sure if either of her parents had ever kissed or hugged her. She was a beautiful baby girl, and at the age of five, local kids she used to play with hated her for her fair complexion, her blue eyes and dark brown hair. Her appearance was an enigma to the rotten, backward and underdeveloped society that she lived in. At the age of ten, when she dressed herself up for the first time, for a cousin’s wedding, she was teased by all for looking like an ‘English memsahib’. They used to laugh at her and alienate her.

She had always been puzzled as to why she had a different appearance in comparison to other members of her family, until one day when she heard her father slap her mother, screaming, “Us maa***d firangi student ke yahan tuney rotiyon ke saath saath bahut kuch pakaya hai,kutiya! Saali, nikal ja yahan se!”. And the yelling continued until she fell asleep, unable to hear further.

Education was not provided to her after the fifth grade, as the family was too poor to afford the sixth grade books, among other things. She being a girl, it was completely out of the question, investing money in her education. As she grew into her teen years, unaware of the fact that she was indeed the girl with the fastest growing curves in the area, she suffered emotionally as a victim of wolf- whistling and eve teasing in the places where she used to go to work as a sweeper. At nights, she read History books of a twelfth grade arts student that belonged to her elder brother.
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Life in the Post Independence era saw changes in the society. But the rift between the rich and the poor was as large as ever. Things were no different in metro cities, like Delhi. Even in the these times, the economic profile of Delhi indicates that 34% of the population belongs to the ‘poor’ class, 48% to the middle class, and 18% to the rich and very rich people.

This 18% of the population is the lot that is mostly kept in the limelight. People who always feature in Page 3 parties- the people who always drive the most luxurious cars across the streets, who enjoy a high class lifestyle. These are the people with whom little Devika belonged, deep within her imagination.

Her childhood was comprised of more dreams than realities…she had beautiful fantasies but she knew that they would never come true. And this truth left her feeling extremely bitter about her life. Selling toys at the age when she should have been playing with them was a necessity, since the only breadwinner in the family was the mother, who used to sweep houses and clean dishes to earn a meagre income. The father was a drunkard, who beat his wife and kids… snatching money from them was the only other thing he ever did.

Her brother used to sell kites and he was the only one to whom she felt emotionally attached. He was elder to her by six years and had taken care of her since as far back as she could remember. The family kept changing location, and somewhere down the line, they realized that every house they got to live in had similar problems- lack of sanitation, clean drinking water and what have you. The neighbourhoods they stayed in were full pimps and criminals.

On her twelfth birthday, Devika was gifted a skirt and a tank top by her brother, which he had purchased from the Chor Bazaar at the cheapest rates possible. She observed her reflection in the mirror and instantly realized that she was breathtakingly beautiful. Her looks became her weapon one day. In the years to come, her beauty took her to places where she had always wanted to be in.

By the age of fifteen, Devika had developed a fascination for flying and she wanted to be an air hostess. Her thoughts and dreams were laughed upon by all, except her brother. He made it a point to bring her magazines and newspaper articles that would guide her in her quest. He too was a dreamer and wanted to own a sweet shop in the market area. Both siblings were fond of each other, and they alone understood the world of dreams that they resided in.

On her 17th birthday, when her distant uncle tried to grapple her and rape her, it became unbearable for Devika to live such a miserable life any longer. She and her brother left their home in pursuit of their dreams. A predominantly male dominated society that it has, Delhi presents some of the most perplexing situations to outsiders. On the whole, women hardly seem to be little more than sex objects. For a lot of male residents, respect and equality for women appear to be textbook concepts. Devika learnt this when she went searching for work at homes and shops, where the employers always gazed at her voluptuous body with lewd looks in their eyes. She and her brother had no shelter and lived on the footpath- or rather, just slept on it, since the whole of the day her brother kept selling newspapers at the railway station, earning just about enough money to buy a small packet of milk for himself and his sister for the evening meal. The only meal.

The brother was aware of the fact that Delhi is an outright dangerous place for women, especially after dark. Rather than the perpetuators of the crime, it is the traumatized rape victims who are forced to go through hard times because they are promptly labeled as women of ‘loose character’. He watched his beautiful young sister as she slept with her head on his lap and shed silent tears, helplessly wondering whether he had committed a sin by leading her out of their home in pursuit of their dreams…dreams which now seemed impossible and ridiculous.

*********

A few weeks thereafter, Devika’s brother ran into an owner of a large showroom selling garments for women. The merchant and his wife ran the expensive store, and they needed a new female staff member, and a deputy assistant at the cash counter. The tears and distraught faces of these young kids ‘broke’ the merchant’s ‘heart’. Mr Kashyap couldn’t refuse them the job they so desperately needed. She was too beautiful a girl to lose…Kashyap’s wife was too old for his dirty little fantasies. The moment he saw her, he knew this was it!

Things improved for them…drastically. ‘Kashyap Sir’, as Devika’s brother called him, had arranged for a room with a negligible rent and a fair enough wage for both the hard working siblings. Her brother bought her a beautiful dress for her 19th birthday. She looked beautiful in it. They went to Kashyap Sir’s place after work. He’d said, “Betiya ka janamdin aaj hum log saath manayengey”.

When they reached his house, they were informed that Mrs Kashyap had gone to her parents home for some work. They ate the extravagant dinner as they listened to Mr Kashyap’s tales about how he had made a hundred sacrifices and worked so hard to own the best selling saree store in the town. Devika’s brother listened, fascinated… idolizing him.

Devika went into the kitchen to clean the dishes. After what felt like a New York minute, Mr Kashyap came up to her from behind and rubbed his hands all over her. She screamed and pulled away from. She ran to the living room and narrated to her bewildered elder brother, her protector, what had just happened.

When she finished, he got a hard look in his eyes. He spoke softly, but his tone was full of bitterness, “Don’t be selfish! This is our only chance.” She started to speak, confused by what she heard, when he slapped her hard across her face. She stood still, turning cold. She stared at him, not sure of how to react…unsure of whether she should cry or scream. She blinked away the tears that were sure to fall, and slowly made her way to one of the bedrooms in Kashyap’s house.

He devoured her all night like a ruthless animal, and she never protested…she was numb and indifferent to what was happening to her…physically. It was her mind that was screaming with agony...ceaseless, terrible and terrifying agony.

She woke up late in the morning and saw the old and ugly Kashyap lying next to her, gazing at her with a grin on his face. “You were the most beautiful thing I had ever had, my dear… I’m sorry that you missed the opening of the little sweet shop that your brother opened today… he came by, early this morning, to collect the papers of the shop for which we’d made a deal… when he’d entered my store for the first time… with you”.

He sold me… She thought, numbly, a chill running down her spine.

“What would you like to have for breakfast?” said the creep, kissing her cheek with sickening, sticky lips.

“I would like to live on my own- away from my brother. And… have a place all to myself, Sir… a place where we can do ‘this’ more frequently… on weekdays…A place of our own… I think it’s about time I learned to please the man who can… satisfy my needs.”

Kashyap stood there, frozen and shocked… The bitch has changed her tune... Has she grown up over night? He thought. He looked at her while she smiled at him with growing mischief in her gorgeous eyes…the girl who had been raped the previous night… he was sure he was too ugly for any girl to actually like him in bed … Yet, there was honesty in her eyes. An innocence that was spellbinding, and there was a newfound, attractive command in her voice.

“Sure!” He smiled back and took out ten thousand bucks from his vault and gave them to her. “This shall serve as a rent for a good enough flat nearby.”

“But there is an initial deposit that will be needed…”

Said Devika, the devil in her eyes.

Kashyap took another wad of ten thousand rupees and handed it to her. “Take his too, honey.”

She went to the kitchen and happily prepared a sumptuous breakfast for him. He waited at the dining table, confused by the change in her behavior. She had a cup of tea and watched him eat the sandwich made by her, looking highly amused. He was still perplexed and shocked by the sudden transformation in her…

He dropped her at a medical store where he wanted her to purchase an anti- pregnancy bill and told her to meet at him at the workplace. He then went to pick up Mrs. Kashyap from her mother’s place. Devika smiled him, as he left. Then she took an auto rickshaw.

“To railway station!” Said she. There was a command in her voice, a tyrannical force.

She knew what every guy wanted and she also knew that she had it in her.

**********

The First Drop of rain

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 10:58:00 +0000

Last night the skies were crying
And from the shadow of his wooden clamp
A lonely soul penned a verse…
He said…

“As rain makes way
For air sublime
I open my heart
For breeze of spine

Let it enter
In the periphery of my soul
And merriness shall shutter
With celebrations on roll

Droplets twinkles
Like hounds of a mesh
Feelings release
Burned as an ash

Joyous script is yet to be told
And legends shall soon follow
Of how momentary pleasure made way
For a never departing feeling of low!”

In the life of one who recites…

****************************

PS - A rain centric post, On the outskirts of something within me, I scribble sitting in balcony watching the rain, as it falls and the cheer in the surroundings makes way for an unreasonable shadow of lonliness somewhere deep within me!

PPS - Now up next shall be a story! A different take from my end, I am putting forth an effort to try writing something different.... Lets see how it churns up!

Catching up of the Spotless Mind

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 16:35:00 +0000

July The 1^st, Twenty Ten!

Its 8 o clock and I have just returned from an evening stroll. My growing tummy is a concern for me once in a while, rest of the time, I am too busy eating chocolates and sipping cold drinks that I hardly notice what miserable condition I am putting my once sporty physique into.

Even so late in the evening, Its so bloody Hot! The heat is everywhere… The nature looks dull; the leaves on the trees are at a stand still state, almost expressionless and the flowers if any on the cantonment roadside are all sulking to death. Its holidays out here and I spend most of the day, in an easy go manner. The light spell is on the roll for me. Its lazy. Its slow and I am loving it for the while . Rest is the name of the game! And by rest I don’t mean sleep. I hardly sleep even in nights now… The insomnia is growing and it’s frustrating at times how I spent whole of my night doing something or other which can be delayed but purposefully sleeping at dawn, around 4-5 in the morning has become a filthy habit.

CAT preparations for the time being are put on hold. Reading fiction occupies the majority of time I devote to books. I am done with 7 Sidney books in a row and now the next one in line is “The sky is Falling”, I have also “Brida” By Paulo Cohelo on my desk waiting to be started. Hopefully shall be doing it from tomorrow.

The mid of the day, afternoons that is are spent by me watching movies. Its almost regular for me to watch one movie a day and amongst the 15-20 that I managed to watch, The one that really caught my attention was “Eternal Sunshine of The spotless mind”… starring Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet (in her Oscar nominated role). The Film was brilliant to an extent that I want to dedicate my post tonight focussing on it mostly.

A man, Joel Barish, played in the most honest characterisation possible by Jim is heartbroken that his girlfriend Clementine underwent a procedure to erase him from her memory, decides to do the same. However, as he watches his memories of her fade away, he realizes that he still loves her, and may be too late to correct his mistake, as Joel's memories progressively disappear; he begins to rediscover their earlier passion. From deep within the recesses of his brain, Joel attempts to escape the procedure. As Dr. Mierzwiak and his crew chase him through the maze of his memories, it's clear that Joel just can't get her out of his head… How drama unfolds and what happens when they meet each other again after their respective memories erased is for you to get hold on when you catch this flick! Its an amazing movie that I highly recommend each one of you to watch. You shall be loving it if you have an appetite for newer concepts and thought provoking scripts and movies depicting human emotions that are all so complex and beyond each of our own understandings. Isn’t it?

Then there was one movie that I caught last night, based on Television Series that comes on HBO. It was called “Sex and The city”, It’s a well shot chick flick! And If you are a girl and have a gang of your own… The chic gang that is, then this one is a treat for you. I personally liked the soundtrack more then the movie itself. It was crisp situational and well in line with the screenplay!

Still around 20 days of holidays remain and I am hunting down movies and eagerly welcoming recommendations if any. One of my Friend for example suggested me to watch “Remember me” and I thank Rishab for that, similarly dear friends if you have lately or sometime back saw any movie that caught your attention please recommend and I shall try to catch it!

***********

Now coming to the blog talk – I love you – Those three words have my life in them! Was a series close to my heart in ways more then one and though many of you found it predictable and repetitive I sincerely would like to say that the intention was not so. Anyways I will try to improve this month to stay onto the expectations of my loving readers as I have always done so… I shall be working on a series of women centred scripts, mostly based on deception, real life drama and thrill… Not on love (which is the popular genre that I follow), Lets see how they come out. I will try my best!

I am back on Facebook, The ever-time-engaging phenomena! Its cooler and everytime is online everytime, comments within comments, pictures within pictures, tags within tags…I missed it so much and I love it so much, but that’s what I fear J It kind of makes me addicted and I shall keep my stay on it limited and devote more time on other things, more offline these holidays as I had planned it to be J

The next now will be My blog award… I have not been able to post it for the month of June so now there shall be a double header for the month of July, I will post it asap!

- Pulkit!

PS - Now comes the juicy part of this entire catching up post that I have written..

What lies ahead is a couple of weeks rest more. I want to go out somewhere on holidays but somehow I am not able to make any conclusive plans for that L

And did I tell you that For the month of July I shall be in the editorial panel of a very popular Adult webpage too, devoting sometime on articles there,some other kind, some other types :P :D now where it is and whats my work on it :P then lets keep it a secret :D sssssh!

PPS - How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

(out of "Bartlett's Familiar Quotations"; the lines are from Alexander Pope's poem "Eloisa to Abelard)

LOVE at First Sight

noreply@blogger.com (arpita mahapatra) — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 18:11:00 +0000

The confession an adorable teenage girl of how and when she first encountered the feel of love in the strangest event that can possibly occur... A cute tale that comes out from the pen of an amazingly cute young teenage writer.

****************

I woke up with a start when I heard someone thumping on the door. I rubbed my eyes and tried to recollect what I was doing, sleeping at 6 o’ clock in the evening. I saw my copy of Pigs Have Wings by P.G.Wodehouse next to my pillow, and realized I’d fallen asleep while reading.

I dragged myself out of bed, stifling a yawn, and opened the door. A middle aged woman in a sari stood outside it- the housekeeper.
“You’re being called downstairs for tea,” she said.
“I’ll be right there,” I replied, smiling politely. I closed the door again and walked into the bathroom to freshen up.

It was the month of May. We had gone to Orissa on a family trip and were presently staying over at our relatives’ place in Bhubaneswar. We’d been there for a week and were enjoying ourselves, even though we hadn’t gotten around to much of sight seeing because of the incessant rain.

It was still raining cats and dogs when I went downstairs. I saw everyone gathered around the centre table in the living room: my parents and younger sister, my maternal grandmother, and my maasi along with her young daughter. I took a cup of what I was sure was cardamom tea and sank into an armchair- and yawned widely. I couldn’t help it. I suppose that’s what happens when you get such a long holiday from college or school- you become a little too lazy.

“Wake up, sleepy head. We’re joining friends for dinner tonight,” said Dad, grinning at the way I was curled up in the armchair.
“Hmmm…?” I blinked. “Right. Absolutely.”
I was nodding my head without realizing what was going on around me.

By the time I’d finished with my cup of tea, I was quite awake. But I guess my cousin didn’t think so, because just as I put my cup on the side table, a heavy cushion came flying across the room and hit me on the face.
Brushing my hair out of my eyes, and restraining myself from exploding, I turned to Mum, “Who are we visiting?”

“The Nandas,” she said. “We’ve to reach by eight…you’d better get ready.”

An hour later, my immediate family and I were driving down to the Nandas’ place, which was about twenty minutes way from my maasi’s house. The Nandas had a grand, old mansion. It was beautifully decorated, and the smell of the wooden furniture was making me mouth water.

Mr. and Mrs. Nanda introduced us to their younger son, Ayush. He looked about five years old and was he ADORABLE! I pulled his cheeks and he, thankfully, didn’t seem to mind.
We all began chatting while we started with the appetizers.

“….oh, yes. It IS a wonderful house,” Mrs. Nanda was saying. “And Ayush is particularly fond of the attic…he spends hours playing up there.”

“You have an attic?! Can I check it out? I just love attics!!” I said, immediately excited.

“Why, of course, dear.” She smiled. “Ayush will take you upstairs. We’ll call for you when it’s time for dinner.”

Since my sister was still having her soup, I asked her to join me later and I followed Ayush up to the attic. He unlocked the door with ease, turned on a light bulb and we walked in.

It was beautiful. There were unpacked boxes on a corner; I could see old photo albums on the dusty old rug, there was a comfortable looking couch against one of the walls, and there were toys, crayons and sheets of paper strewn all across the floor- in short, it looked exactly the way an attic should. But I especially loved this one because it had a writing desk with a sturdy chair, facing the window. One could see the grass, in the front lawn, glittering in the moonlight as it rained down hard. I sighed with longing. I wished I had such a heavenly corner to write in.

“This is where I play with my elder brother,” said Ayush.
“Oh, really? That’s nice. But where is he?” I said, tearing my eyes away from the scene outside.
“Right here,” said a husky voice from behind me.

I held my breath and turned around. There stood a tall, dark boy, casually dressed in an untucked white shirt and faded blue jeans. He looked down at me, his gorgeous eyes twinkling, and smiled slyly as though he knew how conscious I was suddenly feeling.

You should pay more attention to your dressing sense, said a voice in my head which sounded a lot like my friend Riana’s. She keeps reprimanding me for not caring much about what I wear. I promised myself that I’ll pay more attention to her fashion advice from then on, instead of tuning her out like I frequently do.

“I’m Anshuman,” said the boy, extending his hand.
“Sneha,” I said.
We shook hands. Or rather, HE shook MY hand. There seemed to be something wrong with my limbs.

We sat down on a clean corner of the rug while Ayush pulled a board game out of the nearest carton and started arranging it. I tried to make small talk but my brain had apparently stopped functioning. What the heck was WRONG with me?!
“So…d’you like the attic?” he finally said.
“Oh, yes. It’s really cool and comfortable up here.”
I reluctantly raised my eyes to meet his. He seemed to hold my gaze for an eternity.
“I really like it up here,” he spoke softly. “Everything stored in this attic has some connection with each member of our family. It helps me connect with what I’ve loved and lost.”

I smiled, unable to look away. “You love your family a lot, don’t you?”
“Yes. There’s so much I want to do for them,” he sighed. “I want them to know how much they’ve meant to me.”
“I’m sure they already know,” I replied.

As though to prove my point, at that very moment, Ayush jumped up and hugged Anshuman, as if being separated from him would be unbearable. With a jolt, I realized that I’d find it hard not to see him too. I saw Anshuman hug his little brother and get him to start the game. We played for about half an hour. I doubt whether I’ve ever enjoyed playing Monopoly this much. It was nearly nine, when I heard my sister calling my name from somewhere downstairs.

“You’d better go down,” said Anshuman. “I’ll help Ayush put the game away.”
“Okay,” I smiled.

I got up, and just as I was about to leave through the door, Anshuman caught hold of my wrist. My heart was racing.
“I want to give you something to remember me by,” he whispered in my ear.
He gently put a pretty bracelet around my wrist.
“Don’t forget me,” he murmured.
I closed my eyes. I mustered up the courage to look into his. They looked sad. But he smiled slightly. I smiled back, and then hurried downstairs.

“I’m coming!” I shouted at my sister, wherever she was.
I saw her waiting in the corridor, one floor down.
“Sorry about the yelling,” said Akriti, “I wasn’t sure which way the attic is.”
“That’s alright,” I grinned, “Sorry we’re late.”
I desperately hoped she wouldn’t notice that I was slightly trembling. We walked downstairs.

“No problem.” She said. “Hey did you hear about Ayush’s elder brother?”
“What about him?” I frowned, as I pushed open the door that led to the dining hall. Everyone was at the far end of the hall, busy collecting their plates and serving themselves.

“The last time the Nandas went down to the beach…he drowned,” she sighed, “It’s been three months since he died…he was only fifteen.”

I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. No, I thought. How can it be?
“Hey, what’s wrong?!” said Akriti, alarmed.
I’d fallen down on my knees. No one else seemed to have noticed “Anshuman…died?”
“Yes…that’s him,” she replied, looking confused. She was pointing at a picture on the wall. It was him.

I could hardly breathe. This is crazy, I thought. Was my mind playing tricks on me? I held my head in my hands, and gasped out loud.
I was still wearing the bracelet.

********************

( by - ARPITA )

PS- thanks pulkit bhaiya, for all the encouragement. i know i'm not perfect, but you have a way of making me feel really special and loved...it means so much to me to know that you understand and care about me just the way i am. your faith and belief in me give me strength and confidence, and i know that with you by my side, i can seek anything...thanks for everything. :) love to you.

I love you - those three words have my life in them - 3

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 07:41:00 +0000

Pranav and Naina are madly in Love. They had always been... True, Pure, Loyal and Made for each other. They want to get married one day, But Nobody else, Time and Tide work against them and family as well as fate separate These lovers. Will Their Love survive? Will They meet again someday? Will they miss each other? Will they move on.. Or shall they stay in Love forever? Love, Family, circumstances, and career... How all these are related to the same thread called Life, Its amazing na!

************************

(CONTINUED FROM)

2 years later.

“Pranav bhaiya, I am not really sure… why you are opting for this job, passing out from IIM, you are in a commanding position to rule your life the way you want…and all of a sudden, Like an Idiot you are trying to take this stupid gulf company managerial post…The package is also not that much and…”, yelled Ragini, One of his good friends at B – school. Someone who was younger to him, more of a little sister, 1 year junior and very close to pranav.

“I never rule my life…the way I want Rags, Its some other force that always does…” He said and smiled, a smile with more cracks and voids then charm it once had. His face and health had been dull, he looked elder to his age, usually carrying a shabby 3-day beard, less speaking, to the point and very mature, Unlike what he was in life before. Very few people knew here at PG as to why he was the way he was. Rags was one of them.

“Ok! Now I can clearly see it in your eyes…its her! She is the god damn reason, haven’t you punished yourself already in these 2 years that you still wanna chase that girl who never thought of you…” She said in a very sarcastic tone.

“I have no answers to your questions Rags, I know you do care for me a lot… I will miss u…”

“Bhaiya please… Khyal rakhna aap wahan apna… Huh…I thought you had moved on”

“I thought so too…” he half smiled.

He left home soil and landed to an unknown place for an unknown quest,

that was driven by an unknown force. Deep within me he knew that somewhere close to him, is a face which has answers to the big “why” behind this entire last 3 years suffering…

“Sometimes answers are more painful then silence”, he wrote on his palm while sitting on a taxi that drove him from airport to hotel.

“Do you need anything?” asked the bell boy.

“Yes…” Pranav replied.

“What is it sir”

“I don’t know”.

Bell boy left, and Pranav stared the city from hotel room window.

“Where are you Naina…” He whispered.

“Right here with you…” she smiled, from the face of moon.

3 Months later!

Work was dull and hectic, he had lesser time to wander around in search of her then that he had anticipated. Still he spent weekends, searching her, he used to check phone records, airport lists of arrivals and departures etc but he found no success in tracing her.

He was returning back from work to his one room rent flat, on his way he saw someone that he immediately recognized. She was wearing a pink dress, Long curly hairs, talking on phone sitting on the back seat of long sedan. He narrated the taxi driver immediately and told him to follow that car. Driver looked up from rear view mirror in suspicion but followed the order of customer. It took almost 20 minutes, and the chase ended. The sedan turned to a crowded street and the taxi driver signalled Pranav that he wants a tank refuelling and they have to stop at the adjacent gas station. He left the taxi telling him to keep the change. He ran, ran as fast as he could. Breath getting shorter, but due to extremely crowded place he could feel the sedan moving real slow and him getting real closer to it. And then “Bang” he was hit by a car, coming from the other end. He was high in the air, fell. His head started bleeding almost immediately, everyone in the street cornered him. The sedan door opened and from his blur vision he could figure out the lady in pink walking closer to inspect who had an accident. She came closer and asked “come, sit in my car, I am a doctor… I shall take you to hospital, I am on my way…”. He opened his eyes, She was not Her! He closed them again.

It took him almost 8 months to recover fully from the pain, that accident has given him but it was none as compared to the pain he was undergoing everyday, in terms of the helplessness he felt in reaching this far and not able to find her, he used to cry at night in silent whiskers wondering if she ever thought of him anymore and remembered him even for that matter.

He had made up his mind that he was going back to India mid way in his search, resigning from this job. It had been almost 4 years now. I had given my all, he sighed.

He wrote a mail to Rags.

Dear sis,

I am coming back; I shall try to leave my soul behind so that I may live on… Somehow… L

Anyways… I haven’t forgotten my promise of giving you the black dress of the same kind you always wanted to, this birthday, I saw one like that yesterday in market, I shall be buying it before coming back J

Ur bro

Pranav!

He went back to his guitar and played her favorite song.

He was strolling in the market the next day, trying to remember which shop exactly he saw that dress. It was cloudy and rain gods were about to shed tears, for the voyage of love that was about to end. He felt loneliness in crowd, His eyes still searching. Hopelessly crazy boy as one may say. He finally found the store he was looking for that had that dress, He purchased it and came out. It started raining. He walked in rain. Water sulking him and drenching him totally. He could feel a strange sense of adventure, an excitement, A feeling of liberation, A feeling of union and A flame within. He wondered why.

( DO ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY BELIVE IN SOMETHING CALLED “TELEPATHY” , I THINK IT DOES EXIST , THERE HAVE BEEN MORE THEN ONCE THAT I HAVE ENCOUNTERED ITS PRESENCE IN MY LIFE, AND IT’S THE BASIS OF WHAT I WRITE AHEAD IN NEXT PARA)

Naina was writing her diary. A girl looking 10 years elder to her age, Her eyes having dark circles and a shame of guilt, Her voice was weak with weakness and everytime she spoke, She regretted the noise that came by. She loved silence, She adored darkness. She punished herself for the pain she had caused someone, Who loved her hamesha. She sat on guitar and sang what she wrote...

In memories you seem so near,

These silent moments I lay

Imagining as if you are right here

All my memories keep you near

In a silent whisper, In a silent tear

She heard the voice of Thunder from the open window of her room, She saw moon and it smiled back. She felt something strange within her.

Then For the first time in ages, Naina feels like going out , it was drizzling outside , yet she insisted her bhabhi to take her out. As her bhabhi loves her a lot.. she somehow managed to take permission from her in laws n they go out for shopping.

They both were in the car and Naina opened the window and she peeped out , she was facing the sky and the rain were landing as kisses from her love. Her bhabi was quite amused to see her so happy.

They went to the mall and , it was very rush. She was silent while her babhi was shopping. It was raining heavily. She was wandering across the stores. She could sense a familiar smell , smell of someone who really very close , the one in whose arms she tasted heaven. She desperately looked around , but then realized that she was just standing outside the perfume store. She was in the lift , lost in her world.. by the time she realized she reached the top floor of the mall. She thought of going down by stairs. So she was searching for the stairs but found a small door, she opened it and could see the stairs to the top of the building. She stepped in to it and reached the top, she was standing under the roof with her hand out in the rain. She was feeling something very different , she cudnt stop her smile , she could feel the same smell , she couldnt take it any more , she turned back to get down but something caught her eyes. There was a man standing in the rain , looking at the sky , fully drenched...

She forgot everything that’s been told to her…ever by anyone in her family. She felt liberated. She felt as if she has found her way… from a distance she saw him. She had no clue if its an illusion or a reality. She tip toed closer to him….whisperin the lyrics…

"Here is my heart and I give it to you
Take me with you across this land
These are my dreams, so simple and few
Dreams we hold in the palm of our hands"

She slowly walks towards him..she was shivering..she says 'Pra..Pranav'. He dusn turn , she goes closer to him and with a stiff voice CALLS HIS NAME again 'Pranav'. He turns round. He sees a girl in a black dress. Her knee length dress clinging closer to her wet body and her hairs sticking to her neck, her eyes dropping every drop of rain that her face touches, mixing it with tears rolling by. He sees her eyes, and it speaks a thousand words. The world around them stops and everything else now makes no sense to them. He stares her state and he speaks nothing, trying to read the unspoken story of the time gone by.. suddenly her energy drained , she had no strength to stand , she started to fall down. He immediately ran towards her and stopped her from collapsing. She was in his arms. He speaks finally and the most unpredicted line that she never expected after all these years…

“It is now my duty to completely drain you"

They smile, Kissing each other in the spur of the moment… their lips started a narration, and their tongues completed the flashback. Pushing each other, they surfaced their way to a lonely corner of a stormy deserted street!

Their eyes were filled with tears of both happiness n pain.

They hugged eachother. It rained as if the sky has been moved by the picture its witnessing. Its love..pure love. Love which joins people , separates them , hurts and the only medicine which can heal the pain.

“Love me or leave me and let me be lonely
You wont believe me but I love you only
Id rather be lonely than happy with somebody else” She said… and they kissed again. Harder. Stronger. Intense.

“As we stand together
I promise forever
'Til the day that I die
You are the love of my life

I spent a lifetime waiting
Always hesitating until you
I was lost so deep inside my shell
'Til you came and saved me from myself
Now all I really know
Is I need you

You are the love of my life
You are the reason I'm alive”

They burnt in the fire that held within them, The kisses made way for physical expression of emotional voyages that they have undergone. Exploring every inch of each others body. Making way through lips and then pushing through sweeter pains, They melted and then laid over each other consumed. Finally Pranav spoke…

“I did everything I could to get you here tonight
Without telling you why
Now girl if you only would, please hold out your hand
Just close your eyes
I've been dying to ask you one burning question
Will you be mine?

”From here to eternity
I'm asking you to share your life with me
Now and forever I guarantee, I'll always stay by your side
I promise my love to you
I'm willing and able and ready to
Whatever you need
I am here for you, and I'll always be
From here to eternity”

She had tears in her eyes when he finished speaking. Her bare body burrowed its way to her chest and her head lied there, She had made up her mind. She had sadness in her eyes. And she whispered “ can we do it again… or will would you like to marry me first” :D ;) her eyes turned naughty and they rolled again forgetting every challenge that lay ahead, they burnt again. They felt stronger, They knew they will make it, no matter what goes by

**********

( By Pulkit and Satyu)

I love you - those three words have my life in them - 2

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 10:51:00 +0000

He tried many things to get rid of her but his efforts were ineffectual. He was tempted to take drugs to relive from the pain but when ever he tried to use them he found her holding his hand and stopping him. Her Smile. Her smell... more intoxicate engaging then anything he had ever heard of.

Every day he used to go to the park , the one which witnessed the friendship turning in to love. He spent many hours thinking about her. The soft n beautiful grass turned into thorns, the pieces of his broken dreams started pricking him more. He tried to end his life but then realized that it would cause more pain to his love which he can never ever afford. He used to stare at unmoving objects whole day, passage of day was a pain, an endless wait.

***********************

Time was flying too fast. The seasons were changing but he was the same , the wounds were becoming deeper and deeper. It was august , the month which was very special for both of them, the month in which they were born. It was his b'day, the lesions were again fresh. He sat on his bed and his eyes were stuck at his last year present,a handmade greeting card . He got up and took the card out and he started reading. His hands were shivering.

Dear Pranav,

Wish you many many happy returns of the day jaan. I am short of words...out of expressions, and in a lack of sense...when I try to narrate u...How u actually make me feel. You touch me like no other have ever touched me, a sweet peck on my cheek when I am low, a gentle kiss on my eyes when I am heavy, a wet lick on tongue...when I am honry :P Ha! You know it all...
I feel beautiful, when I am with you... my man! The prince of my dreams...I wish you success, you are a hard worker, an amazing human being... A sweet friend, A responsible partner...and A real hero, that every girl would dream of!
Next time... Kiss me hard! I belong to you... My shy ashique!

Urs
Shoni,
Naina! :)

PS - Take me away :( cant think of living without u jaan, U know this.... Clear the cat. I know u will. Then marry me :) Mumma papa wont be able to say No to you then for sure... waise abhi bhi...they like u pata :) My hero... muaaaaaah

The envelope was wet with his tears, when he kept it down. He cried harder then ever...puffed cigratte...till his eyes crumbled to sleep. Drank wine, Till his head ached extremes, and ended the night on the lowest note ever. Begging for mercy, Unable to wonder why is this pain gripping him so hard. He cried and prayed to god... to make him hear something good, from somewhere atleast.

*******************************

He woke up tired. Flushed her card in the bathroom...and burnt her letters, He stood there expressionless while doing so. He went back to his desk, opened the Lappy. He had a mail from his CL coaching that said... "CAT results Out, Congrats for your scorecard – 98.99 percentile , called for 6 IIM's GD PI and shortlisted for 78 plus other tier A colleges"
He read it. He slept again without smiling for even once. This was something for which he had worked endlessly and as hard as one can but somehow he felt nothing when the moment finally came. It was all an ironical strange sequence of events, He wondered where is almighty taking him. He asked to himself, If there is one?

He was missing her. He ran out, climbed the terrace and looked at the sky and whispered "I wish you here Jaan..I wish " tears trickled down his eyes. He wanted it to rain..rain profusely so that it can drain his pain. He remained on the terrace, din eat anything. His phone was ringing, his friends were calling him to wish him , he din respond to any. He was waiting for one call , a call which will bring back his life, his soul and change him from mortal to immortal. He waited and waited.

“Kaash aaj phir baarish ho,

mere wajood mein basi teri khusbo pe,

shabnam ki phuhaar pade

aur meri aankhon mein chalakte aansuon ko pochney

tu ghata ki tarah kahin se umhad pade...”

and It rained... But...

The call he longed for, never came, In the midst of all this... He realized how her departure from his life has taught him a lesson..

A lesson contrary to his theory of life so far, A lesson to never love someone in life, A lesson to not be loyal with anyone ever again, A lesson to not be sacrificing, selfless and committed in life for someone special, A lesson that he wished...to make a part of his persona, But he was too good to change, He wanted to be a devil...for the rest of his life, To cheat all, To betray those who love him... He cried, The pain was too much. Utter confusion... Contradictions... sleepless nights, stranger thoughts.

She was everywhere...Laughing on him, spitting on his face, He dreamt of her married to someone the other day...died of a visualization when he saw her making love to her husband in his dream, He was turning into a cynic. He feared ..He was changing. Destroying himself for reasons that never really made sense. He ran harder to lonely corners of streets, only to find her standing there... Laughing at him. He wished to die. He wanted to do something really bad...to someone, he dint knew why. He dialed her number again. It was always Off... But... That day, It rang.

**************************

On the other end, Somewhere... The most beautiful girl in world was staring out of the window witnessing rain. She thought of Pranav and where he would be, she saw on television that CAT results were out and knew somehow that he must have cleared it with flying colors, she wanted to talk to her. And Thus she switched on her old cell. And Before she would have dialed his number, it ranged

Rang once. she din wait for the second ring n she had cut it. She immediately switched off her phone coz she knew that her love would call her back. She felt guilt. She felt confused. She felt sorry, sorry for him that he loved her...

She was lying in her bed..curled up and she started crying. She was cursing her fate for being so rude to her ,for making her so helpless. She wanted to die but couldn't dare to do that. Her eyes were swollen. She went and sat before the system and opened her mail. Her inbox was filled with mails from Pranav. She started reading all the mails again. She composed a mail to him.. she wrote her heart out and told him how much she was missing him too, all this while and always . When the mail ended. her face was all wet , she has been crying continuously. She moved the cursor to the send button but she clicked ' Save Now'. Immediately her drafts folder opened which read 587 Drafts.

*************************

She was back in her bed starring at the ceiling. She closed her eyes n with in no time she was lost in the memory lane. The last time she saw Pranav with tears in his eyes , she wished to hug him tight and say 'I'm not leaving honey ,I'm yours forever ' . She curled up.. her stomach was aching , she desperately wanted to be in his arms. She was rolling in the bed,it was suffocating .She wanted some air to breathe..she ran on to the terrace. Took a very deep breathe. She could feel him within her. She looked at the stars , her eyes were full of questions. The moon who was savored by their love is now afraid to face her.

*******************
(TO BE CONTINUED)
*******************
- By Satyu and Pulkit

I love you - those three words have my life in them - 1

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 11:16:00 +0000

It was late at night, almost 1.am.

The slow song on radio played behind from the speaker kept above the curtain wall post.

“Shaam se aankh mein... Nami si hai,

Aaj phir aapki... Kami si hai” was on the vocals.

The room, dimly lit. He was sitting alone on the table. Flashlight of the computer screen, reflecting back from the specticals on his face. Depressed, Disturbed...and Diminished from hope. Teary eyes and A heavy head, strangulating him in pain.

Compose Mail -

Dear Jaan, I had been missing you, ever since I last heard from you... Its been a long long time. From months, I had been mailing in to you, every single night... Haven't you received any of those? Or are you purposefully not replying to me? Have you forgotten the promises we made, The love we had, The life we committed to share for forever.... :'( I still miss you, I still cry at nights...Thinking about time I saw you, I still wonder...what must have went wrong. I find, No clue... Urs Pranav.
Mail Sent.

He logged off. Laid on bed, It was almost dawn by then, He peeped out from the window and tried to close his eyes and puts his head down, as images from the past flash by him... He moves back in time.. back.. back.. back...

*****************************

Indra Gandhi International Airport.
8 months back!

Naina and her parents reached the airport, much before time.

There was very little communication between them. only last week, had it been discovered that the only daughter of the home had been engaged and committed in relationship with her college friend pranav.

The thought of her being married to the boy from other caste was not acceptable to her parents. Thereby, an Immediate decision was made, that she should be sent to her elder brother's place in middle east gulf town of Dubai to pursue Post graduation in Management after completing her engineering. Pranav, one year younger to her, and her junior in college, was a mere spectator at the other end, he still had a year to go, before he passed out. He obviously had no base to explain to her parents that how he was the most suitable boy for her...He just managed to utter, He loves her more than any other guy could ever do, But recipe of life is not complete solely by the ingredient of love. Her parents politely said a clear No to him, and remained firm on their choice of future life for their daughter, which was to move Dubai, to nurture her career further, alongside her brother. Though Pranav was a bright talented and ambitious boy, But job opportunities at their college have been dull lately, and thus he was more or less sure of passing out of B.tech unemployed. He was preparing for the MBA entrance exam of CAT, midway...his steady 3 year relationship with his once childhood friend was facing a sudden storm. Things have been moving real fast in the past 14 days, for both of them. She loved him a lot too, he was the first and the only guy in her life. The person that she trusted blindly and she was sure that this boy will one day, take her away with him forever, but life is not always as we plan it to be. She respected her parents a lot and was short of logics to define her love for him, and their dreams together. She was then to leave everything behind.

The last announcement for the passengers of flight came by, and as she stood up. To proceed the last check door before boarding the plane, She saw him. messed hairs, unshaven shabby look, stupid shirt never matching with trousers and the innocence in eyes..along with love and affection, deep deep love. She turned back to look at her parents, and her father nodded in permission mode, she slowly stepped closer to pranav, for the good bye words...

She was wearing a black suit, Her long curly hairs clutched beautifully, she looked pretty.
"Hi pranav...."
"Going?"
"Had to....I ..I had to.” She was stammering.

The words of her parents were echoing in her head. They threatened her not to keep any kinda contacts with Pranav otherwise they will ruin his career. They were influential and She was scared. Ever since she understood the meaning of love she always loved her and she can never see him being destroyed cause of her.

She said 'Yes!'

Her voice was stiff, she was controlling her emotions. She doesn't wanna break before him. She handed over a bag to Pranav.

Pranav was shocked.

In an aghast he inquired her ' Wha..whats this?'

In a firm voice she said 'These are the things which you have presented me on every single occasion' and she turned around.

He was baffled. He couldn't say anything. He was numb. He shook her body “ No! Its not over.. I love you.. and I know.. you love me back, more then I love you... Our relationship is the best, This is not the end.. Eternity has no end... Love has no end.. for me, U and me.. shall always be 'Us', look into my eyes once...”

“Bye Pranav...” she said, fighting back tears. Gently removed his hands from her elbow, turned and left.

Tears rolled on his cheeks as he saw wheels of the airbus rolling on the run way. She left, and so did the smile on his face for forever.

************************

The next week, her orkut, facebook and twitter accounts were shown disabled. He somehow expected this to happen. He tried to contact mutual friends to inquire about her but she was in touch with none. Her best friend Salma, herself was being forced upon to an arranged marriage and had moved to Hyderabad. Her younger cousin sis, the only other person who knew about their relationship dint revealed her location, She just said "Bhaiya...wo safe hai... please aap apna khyal rakhna...She is worried for you...and would like you to please take care of yourself and focus on your career....".
"Would you please...tell her...to talk to me...just one more time...." Pranav replied, only to hear the dead Dial tone of phone from the other end. He tried all other possible ways to reach her, ending in vain. When after 5 months he decided, he needs to move on. He knew, he would be never able to.

****************************

The other night, He played her favorite songs on Piano and sang alone in his study room... The place where they first kissed, He played and sang, and alongside was a glass of Wine. He drank till he slept, fainted in fact. Totally Consumed in darkness of her lose, He was punishing himself for reasons that he never knew....

(TO BE CONTINUED...)

*****************************

( - Written By Satyu and myself)

( PS - We started working on it, by exchanging mails over the script and I am now posting the first part of this thread that we composed, Satyu is an amazing blogger and a very good and honest human being... Do read her blog HERE)

(PPS - Bas yahi sochke raaton ko main nahin sota, Neend aayi to tera khwaab chala aayega, Phir subaah jab khulengi aankhen meri, Tu bhi subaah ko sitaare sa chala jaayega...Aake ab yun tera jaana bura bura sa lage...Juda hokar bhi tu mujhse judaa judaa sa lage)

Idiot on The Dance Floor

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Sat, 29 May 2010 21:02:00 +0000

People seemed to be grooving along
but to me dance floor was scary
I will lose control and everyone will laugh
was my only worry

as you glided your hands all along
like waves of ocean in a bliss
I tried to imitate the same step
and It was a complete miss

Further as you danced on beats that came by
There were eyes all around gazing at you
and as I pushed harder to move here and there
everyone was laughing back near exit door queue

I admired you from my eyes and
Thought of how you pushed me to dance
and I sighed for that moment gone by
when I knew I had no chance

You are an angel and I know
as well as everyone else seem to does
I could hear whispers from adjacent dancers
that Idiot with the pretty lady is such a fuss

enough is enough! I chide
Now I wanted to prove myself
I twisted and the feet criss crossed
I fell and rolled over to the corner shelf

everyone laughed till their stomach ached
and I was all filled with shame and sorrow
you came closer and helped me clean the mess
My shoe had broken which I had to borrow

I came out ashamed
I could have even cried
But you kissed me on lips
and loved me cos I tried

stars twinkled and moon gave me a wink
you lucky moron your luck is high
“With acts like these when she should slap you
she loves you more”...It sigh

I knew whatever he said was right
and I felt a guilt for that idiotic fall
“you never kiss me back”, she laughed
“Oh! My Idiot must be talking to moon after all”

***********

I still remember days you have forgotten...

noreply@blogger.com (ViDiShA) — Wed, 26 May 2010 13:32:00 +0000

This is something very close to my heart.Not all ..but a part of it is real.Those heavenly,beautiful day that are now past, locked up within our hearts , scream back at us from the curtains of past.They hurt us badly,because time always rules where past stands behind present, gone forever and our senseless heart just desire for them every single moment.

I still remember days you have forgotten

rendezvous in the corner of old coffee house
longs hours waiting on the last bus stop
silly fights under the shade of gulmohar
senseless dancing on the street in the rain

I still remember days you have forgotten

crumpled letters stuffed in pocket of jeans
dried lilies pressed in the pages of novel
faded photograph in the frame of wallet
endless chats on the terrace in midnight

I still remember days you have forgotten

morning train parting us several cities away
unanswered phone calls growing day by day
tears on the crisscross lines of the palm
yearning back just for winters of Nov'2005

I still remember day you have forgotten

This is my footprint at 'poetic cries of interpersonal expression'.Hope it will leave footprint on the heart of every reader who sharing these finest and purest interpersonal expression by Pulkit.This place is a shadow of the whirlpool of emotions encircling in his heart and every time I am here my restless soul often feel relaxed under this shade.

" ek meetha ehsaas hai aisa yahan
jo sabdo main bayan na hoga
ek apna sa dard hai aisa yahan
jo dil se kabhi juda na hoga"

P.s.Thanks a lot Pulkit.I am just overjoyed..!!

Rapture

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Sun, 23 May 2010 20:08:00 +0000

Happy Anniversary jaan, With every Hurdle we cross, Our relationship returns to a point of a new start. A start with stronger vows. A start of precision where love is the sole driving force. A start where emotion overcomes the extent of any other force running our minds and souls and In the name of those Starts...which we always make, everytime it seems to end... I speak of you! I speak of us! Again. As always...

Of to a start
from a pellet cart
words laid back
on a sloshed slack

kisses deep whining
and shadows seining
as joys pours
crushing our sours

melancholy of a crow is heard
with cacophony of a bird
and eloping angels
with calm within devil claws
The one that's never known

Eyes speak
while lips witness...
an eternal apology
where tear falls
from eyes of the forgiver!

Hatred is strangulated
Love is re-initiated
feelings make shape of curvy lines...
and who bother about rhymes
of words that follow
words with lesser sense
words with greater effect
effect that hopefully shall last
longer then forever!

In your eyes...
I seek The pleasures of ecstasies
In your touch...
I seek The content of satisfaction
In your smell
I seek The smiles of glory
May I find it...
To never lose it ever again!
I pray to stay Raptured!
Amen!

*********************

PS -

I'll be at your side, there's no need to worry
Together we'll survive through the haste and hurry
I'll be at your side
If you feel like you're alone, and you've nowhere to turn
I'll be at your side

If life's standing still and your soul's confused
And you cannot find what road to choose
If you make mistakes (make mistakes)
You can't let me down (let me down)
I will still believe (still believe)
I will turn around

And you know that

Crying my heart out

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Fri, 14 May 2010 20:43:00 +0000

While you sleep
and calm takes over your mind and soul.
Here,
On sheer unrest and with swollen eyes
I cry my heart out
and bear the pain of Rejection...That you left me with
I cry my heart out
and makes a promise to never be in Love again
I cry my heart out
knowing that cynical loneliness of sleepless nights needs a hold
I cry my heart out
Knowing the need of someone to hold me warm and wipe my tears
I cry my heart out
when only echo is what I get in return of all my agonies
when only blankness is what I get in return of all my strokes
when only darkness is what I get in return of all my emissions
I cry my heart out
Asking that why she felt, as if I was worthless?
Asking that Is it this easy to set me free?
Asking that where am I suppose to hide now?
Asking that who shall hear me out?
Asking that if any of these fuck emotional logic less question, bears an answer....

and If It has, then what difference it shall make...
I cry my heart out
Will someone ever love me so much, That I shall regain my sanity...
I wonder
and alongside...
I cry my heart out!

********************************

(Sadness gives shape to senseless scribbles, M sorry...everyone who wasted time, reading this)

-----------

(Now playing)

“If you find someone that you really love
Show that special someone you're worthy of his love
Or then someday you may be someone just like me
Who is crying crying for love that used to be
You must learn to give as well as receive
Show him how much you care and never never decieve
For once I had a love just made for me but I I was so foolish I just couldn't see
So today look at me someone you don't want to be
Who is crying crying for love that used to be crying for love that used to be”

- Jan Howard!

The Collge Cutie Pie, Happy Birthday!

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Fri, 07 May 2010 19:37:00 +0000

It has been almost three years. My college is the kind of place, I never wanted to be a part of, I still feel like running away, every second day and get myself break free from here. There are a lot of reasons, that account for this feeling of mine. And Trust me on this, I am not ex aggregating. College life has been “Horrible”,”Pathetic”,”Dull” and “Frustrating”, but that doesn't sums it up all.

Somewhere in between all the crap around that F**kin place, There have been spells of laughter, days of joy and some really really special bonds that were formed along the way...as the time passed by!

B.Tech and The entire life that revolves around the four year of your graduation, changes the entire perception with which you view life. No wonder so many engineers end up writing a book about their college days.

My post today is a dedication to someone. It is a special special day of a special special person that I came across in college. She is one year junior to me, in seniority, a hundred years junior to me, in terms of appearance and acts. Kiddish bubbly and so full of life. It is her Birthday Today.

As I look back, I recollect...

Ankita was amongst the brighter students of the first year batch of my college that year. Not to mention, amongst the few...that seemed worth talking to.

Me and Ankita, First met... when her sister Ridhima, (who is one year senior to me, Then in third year...) Introduced me to her.

Ankita was a Branch junior, as both of us are In EC (electronics), Three of us...Me, Her sis and Ankita use to travel with the same route bus to college. Ridhima, Who had been a polite, kind and helpful senior to me always, Introduced me to her sis, telling me that she was new, and needed help with books, notes etc. We chatted for a while and I discovered the utter amicable girl in her, always so so friendly and smiling. At the end of that first formal meet in the bus, I promised Ridhima that I shall take care of Ankita and she should never worry for her, She is my responsibility in college.

The very Next day, a friend of mine called me up while I was sitting in my class. “Pulkit, someone outside is asking for you”, I went out to find Ankita Standing there, biting her nails and feeling all so worried.

“Hi what happened”

“Sir, (seniors are called by that name in college, genrally) I was bunking the class, and the subject teacher caught me....”

“Oh! Which teacher? When?”

“Sir... Actually sir... “

“Hey, relax first ... there is nothing much to worry...and I am not sir.. call me Pulkit...”

“No sir... actually sir... he said... I will be failed... in his subject and sir... sorry...Pulkit sir...actually...”

*shaking head and *smiling “Go back to your class...and attend the next lecture”

I went to The teacher's room that day, to talk it out with him and clear the misunderstanding that prevailed. He smiled, replying back... That the polite girl whom I am claiming to be my innocent sweet little sister, is the biggest prankster and the most naughty child of the class. He also told me that she is among the brighter child of her batch and all so gifted kind with great hold on subjects. Both of these facts stand now verified a hundred times, she has always scored so well in exams, which means she is bright, and every day or the other...someone from her class comes to tell me, “Sir please...ankita se mera chashma le lo...usne cheen liya ; Sir please ankita ko samjha lo, bahut pareshan kar rahi hai, Sir please ankita ko keh do, tang mat karey”.... but she never listens...she keeps doing all this sharatein in college always...such a naughty girl she is and had always been.

As days passed by, our bond became stronger, after 3 months or so, when we became friends, (more of elder brother, younger sister types), we started sitting on adjacent seats to each other in Bus. Our conversations early in the morning, had less to do with college and more to do with other aspects of life, literal, hobby based and narrative...where mostly I was the speaker and she was the listener. Gradually I earned her admiration and respect and a special special dignified place in her mind. When most of boys of my year were passing a filthy flirt friendship, on good looking girls of her batch (all of whom were a part of her friend circle), Ankita discovered a protective elderly warmth of mine, always filled with concern. We use to chat, Laugh and have the best time of the day...On our 45 minute long journey together in bus. Those were the days.

When I entered the third year and changed home, I left the bus. Almost after 20 days, after the commencement of classes for 3^rd year students, classes of second year students started. On the first day of it, I found a teary Ankita on her floor, standing alone near the stairs.

“Hey... Hi... what happened to you? Looking really sad” I smiled.

“No...” she said smiling back

“Ok. Your wish... don't tell”

“there is nothing...” she replied with a brighter bigger smile.

“Ok then... catch you later dear, take care ok, I have a class”

as I strolled back, I kept thinking about her gloomy sad child face, I realized how fake her smiled seem to be, I realized, how I felt on my return to the disgusting environment of college after a month holiday, when I was in first year. I thought...How this girl, might end up facing all the broken trusts, Friendship set backs and peer jealousy, that I once faced (still facing), and I went back... searching for her, to not let her fall into any sad mood and to re narrate her...the strength of seeing the brighter things in darker pores, to somehow make her smile and to somehow give her strength, just as I so wished someone would give me and there was none :(

I went back to home, in the evening and the first thing I did was to give her a call, She was giggling. I knew, it was all fake. And then along the conversation, she confessed, “That If don't stop...to pamper her, with all the over protective caring talks, she would end up crying, she said...she felt really lonely today in college for some reason that she dint knew, and she told me how all of this...went upto her head when I was not there...to talk to her, in the bus, at the end of the day. She told me...how her baby eyes, searched for me at my stop from where I use to board the bus, and she still tells me, how she ends up searching for me ... there everyday. I realized that day, how much expectations she has from me. And Somehow I realized that I am more to her, then she is to me. The next day in college, we met again...spent time together, and continued doing so, till she was back to normal with all other friends around her, having fun. She is a brave girl and grows really fast, Thats her biggest quality.

I remember One day, she came to my home, to collect books and notes and when she left, I went back to give her chocolates that I had brought for her in the morning that day, knowing that she would come and I forgot to give it to her.

I chased her rickshaw with my bike easily, and gave her a couple of 5 stars bar and Polo stick (which she loves). I realized how on any other day...I would have eaten it myself, thinking that guest is gone and unintentionally I forgot...I'll give her another in college, but in her case... sacrifice in me ( chocolate is biggest) comes naturally.

I feel today that all I wish is to see her smile, is to see her happy, is to make her make the right decisions in life, How I truly meet her everytime, on a chatbox, on a phone call or in college...and try to give her something or the other advice to be a more successful human being. I feel that she has a great potential to achieve anything in life that she desires. I realize that how her reaching home safely (everytime she leaves college on tempo or with friends) concerns me, and how naturally I end up dropping a message to her, asking about her safety and health. Like a kid I feel like taking care of her. Pampering her too comes real instinctively. I plan nothing and yet end up doing or saying something that makes her smile. I guess... This is the bond we have! Or rather...This is how I feel.

Today on her Birthday I am writing all this... Just cos I feel like doing so!

Dear Little Ankita,
Wish you an amazing Birthday and a Happy fulfilling year ahead

May god bless you... with all the happiness and success, Peace and Love...
That world has in offer!

You are truly the best younger sister, one can have.

A passionate fast learner and a hard working Individual,

A rare good human being, Innocent and cute!

As a Guide, As an Elder Brother, As a secret Keeping friend :) and As your true well wisher... I shall always be a part of your life!

Amen!

Yours

Pulkit Sir!

**********************

(Thats Her... Now who would say, This is a Third Year Engineering student, Huh? Doesn't she Look Like a teeny weeny Class 10 th gal) :D

(OMG - That Just reminds me, That me and Ankita, Doesnt have a pic together, gosh...I should add this In my - Things to do, before college ends list :P )

( In the Pic - Ankita - Sitting with a robot, as if its a toy to play, looking cute and innocent as always... But looks are deceptive, Mind you... she is a little devil prankster) :P Happy Birthday deary!

Bayern Vs Inter - Too Tempting to wait till 22.

noreply@blogger.com (PULKIT) — Mon, 03 May 2010 17:48:00 +0000

Since every one at my place,My college, My city...and country is keeping his or her eye balls and mindspace fixed on the T-20 WC, I am beating a solitary drum in sharing my excitement about an altogether different ball game with you guys. Last Year I wrote a post Final blog entry, and This year I am writing a pre final. For those of you...who are wondering, which Final. Its UEFA Champions league Final, The premier club football competition of Europe. This shall be taking place on Date, 22 May 2010. and at Venue, Santiago Bernabéu Stadium, Madrid . On 22 I shall be having my Semester Exams, In Mid way and have an exam The next morning, But I know myself... Late at night, when peers would be focussed to sleep early, for waking up on 23rd Morning to study, Yours truly would be all awake... watching 22 people of nationalties that never concern us, playing a game...that doesnt matter to any out here, But It does... to me! :P
In the Past 10 years...Since I have been watching Live football played on European club battegroud, This year's Final seems to be the most unpredictable one. :) If You know even "F" Of the football game and players etc , then Only read furthur.

German Giants Bayern Munich Will face Jose Mourinho's Italian champion Inter Milan. A clash that none predicted at the start of the campaign. Though History of clubs, favor the germans here... but I predict a 2-0, 3-1 or a 2-1 end of the match in the favor of Inter. Yet saying this, It seems...so so balanced and Unpredictable. I shall tell you... what made me feel, Inter would win. Lets see the Key factors... along with some cool pic watching along side :) while I speak...

1. The Best Way to win a game, Is By not allowing your opponents to score. A clean sheet means, either a draw or a win. Inter Milan which is so so prone to score in the second half, can be stopped...if this argentine player demichelis does some good man marking

2. Equally Important alongside... the work of flat back 4 defence of Bayern( Which played amazingly well in their semi Final clash against Lyon) ,would be the work and gameplay of Central Defense Mid fieldar Dutch Marko Van Bommel, How he reacts to the creative crisp short passing flow football of front Three attackers of Inter, would be really Interesting.

3. Even If they contain Inter from scoring, Then too... Bayern will have to score atleast twise to and early as much as they can, to keep the hold of this game, and judging by how... Inter's jam packed defence line plays under The portugese coach with great communication, it will be a real tough task. I am sure each of you remember, how Centre Backs Lucio, Walter Samuel, (both of these vetran south american defenders) have played the game of their life this year in C' League. Almost deactivated the Influential Messi a week back.

4. at Wings, It will be the most tempting battles of all as Its Literally Impossible to stop Bayers from Penetrating. They Have Possibly the best players in the world, playing the best game of their career for them. Arjan Robben and Frank Ribery, Both of them... true true world class players.

Each of them would cut, down the wing to hit some good long range powerful strikes, which we have seen getting converted all so often in the league and knockout phase matches, yet their charm might just get countered by some quality extra hard work that Inter's man would have already done to mark and battle them, just as they did with Iniesta and Pedro in the wings. Why? Because...

a) To beat arguably the best Goal Keeper of the world at the moment ( please dont wink an eye...all you buffon and Casillas fans, they too are living legends...but this brazilian have been in Informidable form in the past 2 years, and have grown a lot...) from a long range shot, doesnt seem to work.

b) Zavier Zenatti Might just play the swan song game of his life, Judging by his all so glamorous 17 year career at Inter, This would be his big night, and Havent he always been the best performer for them at Big nights, all these years. His game in Left wing is crucial to mark Ribery.

c) Brazilian Maicon's performance have been no less impressive, Not just he has the potential to match Robben touch by touch and move by move in chasing, but his wing movements and combining combo with full backs would be real important on the right wing.

5. Inter are Bound to score - why?

a) When everyone out in the red camp is making a plan to mark Eto, and Milito, I wonder... what shall happen, if Inter comes to ground with a 4-3-3 Combination with Balotelli in the centre :P who is as good as anyone...when it comes to one touch finishing and getting the job done.

b) Is it really possible to stop Eto from scoring (And/Or providing a goal scoring pass) if he plays for 70-75 minutes... I don't think so.

c) Just as Instrumental as Zidane and Raul were, as Penetrating as Seedorf and Shevchenko were and as polished as Christiano and Rooney were....In successfull C'league winning campaign of their respective seasons... This duo seems equally deadly and effective, On the Semi Final night, they were at the peak of their games. Deigo Milito and schneider at Centre Forward and Centre attack Midfield looks like unstoppable.

6) Last of all, the man in the picture below is a pain the back, garrulous, pompous and over confident always.... But isn't he The Best tactician ever, when it comes to deliver at big stages with under acheiving clubs....I somehow have a feeling that he might Do it with Inter and Win C'League again. Jose Mourinho, out from bench, can be the most instrumental playmaker on field, and for those of us who have witnessed his rise...we can see in his eyes, that all he see is the cup and He knows...how to win it.

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So that was it. Lets see, what happens... I am an english Football fan and since there is no english club attached on either side in this final. Being Neutral and watching this amazingly balanced Football match....is something...I cant wait :)