What is a kiss without love

It’s just color with a foreign smell

Blind dreams reach for the obscene

Pretending the beautiful

I thought you were a flame

I could bathe in without being burned

But eating leaves something behind

I should have never

I should have never taken a bite

]]> http://www.ericnunnally.net/Poetri/?feed=rss2&p=188 http://www.ericnunnally.net/Poetri/?p=186 http://www.ericnunnally.net/Poetri/?p=186#comments Thu, 21 Aug 2008 02:03:03 +0000 Eric facetslove http://www.ericnunnally.net/Poetri/?p=186 The sigh of a heart smiling
That blessing of air that has blown through the tops of the trees
inhaled as a gift of refreshment
Noticing the last dew drop caught in the morning sun
A butterfly landing on your finger

A kiss of tears and trembling lips
An unexpected gentle touch
reaching through anger and pain and weariness
A presence sitting beside you when you feel utterly alone
The sudden strength of certainty when all hope seemed lost

I cheated myself the moment I took you for granted
And hated myself when I became addicted to you
Excused myself from you to refresh myself with true love
Preferring the sound of my own heartbeat

funny thing is
you weren’t born with your sense of style
it is something you learned as you lived
exposed to the world around you
and the people in it

from around you
you gathered in things to define you
telling yourself you only took the best of what spoke to you
when in reality
you simply chose from among what was offered

that selection, and whomever defined it
defined you
the moment you picked from it
and called it you

truly
only the naked
those comfortable in their own skin
un-tampered with, unchanged, un-enhanced
are themselves

everyone else
is a liar

Death was a promise for refusing to heed
The warning that “from that tree you shall not eat.”
A tree that bore fruit and was placed within reach
A tree with a terrible lesson to teach

God said “It’s not good for man to be alone,
A suitable partner I’ll make for his own.”
But made various wild animals and birds of the air
Which Adam then proved did not make a good pair

So I ask, did God mean that his meet be a mate
Or a lesson in what man should appreciate
Was Eve meant to satisfy man’s loneliness
Or show him that God is the One, nothing less

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Adam said
When God brought the woman out of him instead
And so blown away, man then worshipped the gift
And forgot the Giver, and was punished for this

Eve knew the order for Adam had shared
And Adam said nothing while Eve was ensnared
And then he blamed Eve for the fault that he caused
When God asked, “Where are you?” He knew man was lost

The serpent was cursed for its meddlesome scheme
Foreshadowing the story of Job and its theme
While Eve was remanded to bringing forth life
And “cursed” with the need to be somebody’s wife?

Adam was sentenced to a life of hard labor
For listening to Eve, disobeying an order
He was laden with guilt, knowing evil and good
To toil until death always searching for food

For man does not live by bread alone
And until he finds God, he will never come home
So the tree of life is guarded by Love
And Eden is lost til all sin we are free of

Heaven within you, and hell without
This is what the story of man is about

So I hate you, even as I tease those recollections of my happiness with you
Despise your absence and blame you for my suffering
Because you could be here if you really wanted to
But because you are not, I know where I stand – alone, brooding

I have become smaller because of it
Crawling inside of myself, pulling in the heat of my anger and pain
Making myself cozy in its filth, in its funk
Regurgitating curses and swallowing them again like water

I am not dead but comatose, in a limbo of self pity
Bitter and acrid thoughts poisoning my mood
So that, even if I were to see you again, I would have to knock you unconcious
And beat you mercilessly until broken or killed

Only then would I, could I, repent of this nasty humor
Reviving you in the anxiety of my possible failure
Cleansed in a guilt you could never impose upon me
Resuscitating you with the same lips that wished you dead

Hopefully my blow would cause brain damage, affecting your memory
Having been washed with my assault, there would be nothing to forgive
You would awake and smile and know only that you are glad for my presence
I would confess my madness, holding your hand
But unable to understand, you would simply, gently reassure me with your love

The sky was clear and the sun blinding bright
And I winced to behold a spectacular sight
About a mile and a half above my head
A magnificent air show of wonder and dread

A dozen black shadows pursued a white hawk
Tired, desperate to escape the lynch mob
They circled in circus attacking in turn
Diving and pecking with vengeful concern

The choreography was brilliant
The precision… obscene
The execution, the coordination
… they were a machine!

I had never seen crows flying so high
Let alone in formation, a hawk on the fly
And stopped to wonder at their tenacity
Their cooperation, confidence, and expertise

I felt sorry for the hawk but I couldn’t take sides
Who knows what the hawk did , who knows the crows’ whys?
So I watched, struck with horror at their efficiency
Expecting the inevitable victory

All at once the black cadre abandoned their chase
Giving high fives, shouting the name of an ace
Who hung back to taunt the exhausted bird
With one last slap and a peck and a word

When the last crow had left, the hawk flew alone
It was quiet and free of the murderous throng
Whether mortally wounded or simply too tired
A few seconds later it just fell from the sky

There are wine glasses cut and cleaned with starlight
Locks waiting to be turned
But there are no shadows under the door
A living statue, Time’s heart beats with mine

Daydreams go by quickly, a rush of color and noise
A streaming madness I charge through
Anticipating the prerequisite solitude of my obsession
Where upon a fresh canvas of loneliness
I can imagine violins and the tinkling of laughter
Beautifully haunting my bedroom

Where I can eat you alive, even in your absence

The last time ended prematurely
As I wasted an eternity
My lip bleeding to contain myself

I should have un-tucked my braided cape
Let it billow in all of the room’s savage corners
And floated around you like the smoke of some thick incense
Eyes red and teeth gleaming while you
Laid open your entrances
Welcoming me with sharp breaths

Living sparks trapped in a room do not burn
But illuminate the senses like fireworks
Brightening in flashes the object of hunger
I will do now what I should have then

In and out of consciousness your soul will writhe in its own yearning
As I draw my tongue across you
Savoring the spice of your desire
A drink only satisfied with addiction
For an appetite forever aggravated by the hint of flavor

In the ambient sound of darkness
While the stars play with their nipples
I will snake with you in the grass
The Moon’s obscene stare upon you
My fingers in your mouth
Drinking a dream stained with the heat of your willingness

Unless I find something to do
It’s the sunglasses and baseball cap pulled low tonight
Five miles an hour down the street, hunting
They call it curb skinning

What I’m hunting
Decides the bait I hang out the window

Peeking over the door locks, I breathe in heartbeats
Like a panther in the shadows

Wired, I see it all
My teeth gleaming

There will be blood on the moon
If I don’t find sanctuary

When my mind and flesh become one
Something inside starts growling
And like a piranha in a river stained with just one drop of blood
My nose is wide open

So when you see me in this desperate state
Looking for a place to hide myself when the moon is full
Understand

Thinking for one moment that I am like you
May cost someone their life tonight
Because when I get hungry it’s all the same color
And I don’t come up for air until I’m satisfied
I don’t know anything
Until after I’m done

When I wrapped my hand around your scarf
You should have known that wearing red does this to me
And if I bit your lip too hard then you should have bit me back
Cause I sharpened my teeth when the moon came out

There won’t be any bottles beside the bed
And the air in the room will be clear from all the open windows
But I will be drunk with a madness that can be scary
If you don’t get mad with me

So dream and twist yourself up in the blankets of this darkness
We’ll be swimming for a long time before we reach the sun
And drowning will only make you believe you can breathe under water
So let your body grunt, baby

Cause when I drink you
I’m going to take everything
Until you feel like you have to rip yourself apart to give me any more
And only then, with a mouthful of your heart, will I be satisfied

I shook the rain out of a cloud and caught my breath
Diamond drops of water blinding me I tossed the sponge aside
Inhaling all of heaven, a fresh, clean fire
And drank my fill of beautiful, cool and blue

I am a wind, a spirit through you
A breath of air blowing inside you
I am a dream, a pleasant dream
Behind your eyes

My shadow is the sunshine
And I’m a figment of your mind
A whisper of an achingly beautiful love

A feather left by angels
To the wonder of a child
Who still believes
Believes
That love cannot tell time