Polish Mama on the Prairie

I Let My Children Say "NO!"

2012-02-28T10:04:00.002-06:00

I have two beautiful, intelligent, independant daughters. And I let them say "NO!"

Imagine:

Me: "Please go and put on your socks."

Either daughter: "No!"

Pause...

What is your reaction as a parent? Do you reel with indignant anger that your child would dare say "No!" to you? Do you feel frustrated? Does your mind race with thoughts of what to say to get your child to listen?

My mind does race with those same thoughts of what to say...

Let me tell you first what I have seen some fellow mommies do when their child says "No!"

Once, at a fellow mommy's house for a playdate with her son, he said "No!" because she wanted him to pick up his toys.

She slapped him in the mouth and told him something I've heard mothers and fathers say many times to their children-"Don't you ever say No! to an adult!"

When she swung to slap his mouth, one of her fake nails hit him in the eye and he fell on the floor sobbing and clutching his eye. No matter what he told her, she didn't believe she hit his eye. I told her that she had hit his eye and I proceeded to check his eye that there was no damage. Thankfully, there wasn't. Only then did she believe that maybe she had. Because I am an adult.

Her hitting his eye is an extreme. But I've seen in public strangers and even fellow mommies and neighbors slap their child in the face for "talking back" because they said "No!"

The words that always came out with that action was always some sort of version of "You don't say No! to adults!" or "Don't talk back to grown ups!" or "When I tell you something, you have no right to say No!" or, word it however you want.

Sometimes, I hear these words without the child being slapped in the mouth. Sometimes, it's a spanking. Sometimes, it's the mother grabbing the child by the upper arm and hissing it in his or her face. Sometimes, it's just a time-out.

In the end, what is the child being taught? You cannot say No! And, I'm bigger than you.

No harm, right? Children shouldn't talk back to their parents. Or to grown ups. Because otherwise, they will grow up to become disrespectful to the older generation and others around them.

But, I let my kids say "No!"

And it takes extra effort.

When they say "No!", I have to get to their eye level and discuss with them what it was that was asked of them, why they said "No!" and why I would appreciate them helping me and listening and doing what was asked.

And, most times, they cooperate. They walk off, most times happy, sometimes a bit grumpy, but still cooperative. And then, the added effort, my thanking them for cooperating and why it was asked of them and how it makes me feel as their Mama that they helped me. And then, they smile and run off and do what it was that had been interrupted in the first place-playing.

The effort sometimes is frustrating. It takes extra time. But, there is a reward in it.

I thought about this long and hard when holding my first newborn daughter. How sick some people in the world are, how some people hurt little children. How I didn't want my daughters to become victims, if I could help it.

And it dawned on me. If I told them again and again, "You are not allowed to say No!", it would be ingrained in their minds. And, if I only talk to them once in a while about not letting people touch them and about walking away from a bully. Which message would end up winning out. "You are not allowed to say No!" because it's enforced more throughout their childhood.

And because, when they say "No!", they are establishing themselves as unique independant individuals with a free will of their own. With a body and mind of their own.

They aren't pushing my buttons to see how far they can push me. They aren't trying to get away with being lazy or selfish.

They just want to tell me "Mommy, I don't want to do this". And it's my job to tell them why something is being asked of them. That I'm not trying to force them into something terrible, but that it is for their own benefit.

And sometimes, I have let the "No!" win out. Once, my older daughter was 2 1/2 and wanted to wear a skirt in the middle of winter. With no tights. And a t shirt, sandals, and her rain coat.

After trying to explain about weather and seasons and temperature and staying warm by dressing correctly for the weather, I smiled. I said, "OK, let's go. You will be cold. And when you get cold, tell me and we will go inside and change to what Mama is telling you to wear. Sound good?"

She smiled, walked outside with me, in the cold, not dressed warm at all. She didn't make it to the car. We came inside, I dressed her in the right kind of clothing for the cold weather outside, she hugged me and we left to go to the library.

Both of my daughters, however, have wonderful manners and I am told regularly by other adults how well-mannered they are. They say "Yes, Please", "No, thank you", "May I please...", "Excuse me" and stand up for their friends when someone is being mean to them. They clean their rooms daily. They go to bed without too much of a protest, brush their teeth, and help me around the house. They look shocked when someone is mean to someone else. My older daughter is trying to be a vegetarian because she thinks it's sad that animals have to be killed for their meat, entirely her decision. So, they aren't brats who get away with being disrespectful toward others.

It's not a magic bullet. They still argue sometimes. They don't want a shot. They might not want a nap. They don't always want go to school instead of staying home and playing with a new toy and each other instead.

But their independant spirit is still alive. And I believe that if a boyfriend is ever mean to them, they will have the strength to say "NO!" and walk away. Or, if an adult ever tries to grab them, that they will kick and scream and shout "NO!" and will put up a fight that could possibly save their life.

Or, if a supervisor wants them to do something unethical, that they will stand up for their beliefs. The possibilities of how this life skill might help them is endless.

So, I get on my knees, sigh internally because I really don't feel like having to explain myself as the adult, and I talk to them. As an equal. Because, to me, they are.

One day, they will be adults.

Everyone has their own parenting style. This is not a criticism of how others parent. This is just what I do and what works for us, and why. I'm not perfect, no parent is.

However, if your parenting style includes hitting your child and you regularly feel frustrated, please talk to your pediatrician and find out about parenting classes that could help you learn other methods. For your sake, and for your childs.

Related Posts:

I Am Raising Two Future Foodies

Tzedakah

Back To School

Another Immigrant Family

Ash Wednesday, the Day After

2012-02-23T09:00:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, the children and I went to church together. Since my older daughter is in Catholic school, she goes every Wednesday like a good little Catholic girl in training.

My preschooler and I go as well but hover in the back and leave at the first bit of noise coming from the preschooler. After all, the school is there to learn, not to listen to her shouts.

Since yesterday was a special day, I dressed up for the occasion (Read: No jeans). Silently, without a word, that was all that was needed for the two girls to realize this is a special day.

We arrived in church together and my Kindergartner opened the door for me, as the students there do for others without being asked, understanding that it's polite to do so. A woman came in behind us, we saw each other and greeted each other warmly in Polish. We knew each other.

In church, my Kindergartner sat with us. Impressively, the preschooler stayed in our pew and didn't make as much noise as she typically did.

She pointed to the sunlight streaming in through painted glass, Dawn lighting up the faces in attendance.

Some of the older children of the school walked down the aisle with symbols of the Catholic faith which the priest explains to those in attendance. A purple cloak, a bag of coins, a crown of thorns, wheat, grapes, a handful of nails. My Kindergartner searched in my eyes when the nails were walked past us. I'm not sure what she was looking for but I squeezed her little hand. She smiled and went back to watching the service.

When it was time to receive our ashes, we went together to receive them from one of the school teachers.

"Remember that thou art dust, and to dust thou shalt return." Genesis 3:19

This was not to let others know that we are fasting. This was to remind us as individuals of God, his love for us, and our inevitability. At least, that's how I always interpret it.

When we sat back in our pew, my preschooler pointed at each of our foreheads and said "Mama, dat you coss? Sissy, dat you coss?"

When asked where her cross was, she pointed to her forehead and said "White heew". Her voice, curious and soft, travelled through the church but nobody looked upset. A few older parishioners smiled at her for a second and went back to prayer.

Later in the service, she went to hug me while we stood to pray. She drew back, looked at my forehead pensively and proclaimed "Mama, you dewty!" and laid her head on my shoulder.

*******

Later, at the grocery store, we spotted other "Dirty Forehead People" as my Kindergartner called Catholics on Ash Wednesday when she was 3 years old. My children locked eyes with them for a second.

My preschooler would touch her forehead occasionally and say "Dat my coss" to passersby.

*******

All night, she tossed in her toddler bed crying. Occasionally, she would call out "No! That Dewty!" I'm not sure why she was so upset about the ashes but at only 2 years old, I'm sure the service was unusual for her.

Perhaps next year, we will get a better nights sleep following Ash Wednesday service...

Na razie...

An interesting article on ChicagoNow.com Nine words and Heaven

What's Up With the Ashes?

Shipping A Car Overseas

2012-02-17T14:20:00.005-06:00

Since I used to work in Export Shipping from the USA, and I know this question sometimes comes up, I thought I would share what I've learned about shipping a car overseas.

Prices range from port to port of both origin and destination.

Any price you might see will not be accurate in most instances. You have to call a shipping company/freight forwarder to find out the prices. And the price you might get today won't be the same price as what you would pay if you wait to ship 6 months from now.

Shipping prices fluctuate. They have to. Gas prices change.

Also, because shipping prices fluctuate from month to month, what someone paid in 2008, say, from NY to Gdansk for a 20'container is not going to be the same price as someone doing it now. Or from a different port. Or door to door versus port to port. It can't be.

Think about it, airline ticket prices change daily, for different flights, to different airports and with different airline carriers. Why wouldn't shipping prices change?

There are also different ways to ship your car overseas:

Ro/Ro service

In a container (and whether you are shipping it in a 20ft, 40ft, or even 40fthi container)

Ro/Ro service is Roll On/Roll Off service. In other words, the car by itself.

In my personal experience and opinion, if choosing Ro/Ro service, you never put belongings in the car unless you are prepared to have it stolen.

Ro/Ro service involves the following: You hand over your car & key, the key stays with the car at all times, the car sits unlocked at the port until it's time to go, then gets rolled on the boat where it sits unlocked the whole time, gets rolled off and sits at the port of destination, again, unlocked and key in the car. No, the car won't get stolen. And no, this has nothing to do with Polish security at their ports, or the security at any other ports. This has to do with common sense. And no, they cannot keep the car locked and the keys in some special location just for you.

If you choose Ro/Ro service, ship the car empty.

And get shipping insurance because no insurance policy you have, or think you have, will cover anything happening to the car. No, the port, shipping company, ship, crew, etc. do not carry insurance that will cover your "lost" goods that were sitting in your unlocked car for several weeks.

The other option is in a container. Personally, if I was moving overseas, this would be my number one choice. And if I was moving to a country in which I hold citizenship, I would definitely choose this option.

If you choose to ship your car in a container, you are required to do the following:

You must tell the shipping company you are using that there will be a car inside ahead of time. They have extra paperwork that they must legally file.
You must also own the car outright and not have any liens on your vehicle.
You must have the title to the car. The shipping company will need this to present to the customs officials of the port of origins (where the car is being shipped from).
You must run the car until it is basically empty of fuel. The container is not allowed to have hazardous or combustible items inside. Fuel is combustible. The container will be subjected to extreme heat in the summer and frigid containers in the winter, in the middle of the ocean on a huge boat.
You must have the title of the car to clear customs at the port of destination.
The VIN must be easily readable by customs officials. They will not climb like little monkeys in your container to view it. Back the car into the container and keep that area of the car completely clear. Also, do not pack items on top of the car, on the sides, or on the drivers seat.
Another reason the shipping company needs to know there will be a car is because they must build braces around the tires of the car to keep it from smashing around the inside of the container during shipping and then become a moving hazard at port, or even while at sea.
A wall is highly recommended for separating household goods in the back of the container. The container will be moved by a crane onto a boat that will be in the middle of the ocean. Things shift and fall. A wall would prevent catastrophes, both of your possessions and the safety and equipment of those handling your container.

Remember, if you have questions, ask your licensed freight forwarder. They are there to help you and don't know what information you know, think you know, or don't know.

And don't assume that someone else's shipping experience will be exactly like yours, experience wise, cost wise, or regulations wise.

I hope this helps you with your shipping questions. I've decided I'll be sharing other tidbits of information like this that I learned during my several years career in Export.

Na razie...

New Bill For Polish Visa Waiver

2012-02-14T08:56:00.000-06:00

It looks as though S.497 and H.R. 959 "Secure Travel and Counterterrorism Partnership Program Act of 2011" is "dead in the water", so to speak. These bills were meant to be the 2011 bid for Poland to finally be a part of the Visa Waiver Program.

I've had widgets tracking these two bills on my sidebar for nearly a year now.

A new bill has been introduced by U.S.Rep. Mike Quigley (IL-05) in partnership with U.S. Rep. Steve Chabot (R-OH) in the House and Senators Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) and Mark Kirk (R-IL).

The House bill is H.R.3855 - Visa Waiver Program Enhanced Security and Reform Act. Here are links to help you track it, support or oppose it and help spread the word:

Popvox Bill Tracker HR 3855

govtrack.us HR 3855

OpenCongress.org HR 3855

The Senate Bill is S.2046 - Visa Waiver Program Enhanced Security and Reform Act. Here are links to track, support and spread the word:

Popvox Bill Tracker S 2046

govtrack.us S 2046

OpenCongress.org S 2046

I thought I would also share some articles I found regarding these bills:

Appeal to Polonia from Polish American Congress

US Chamber Letter of Support

US Embassy in Warsaw

Several articles on Heritage.org

Some videos regarding the subject of Poland and the Visa Waiver Program:

And this video which the US Embassy in Warsaw shared with me on Twitter (@USEmbassyWarsaw). It's in Polish but it might give non-Polish speakers an idea of the process and certainly will for Polish speakers.

I will be replacing the Bill tracker widgets today on my sidebar to track these two new bills. I hope you do the same.

And don't forget, read the bills and let your Representative and Senator know where you stand!

Na razie...

The Grammys Mean I'm Communist

2012-02-13T07:48:00.000-06:00

Last night, I was subjugated to watching the Grammys. My hippy husband put the show on in the bedroom while I was wanting to read a book about Siberian history. Loudly.

At one point, the Hall of Fame inductees (I think that's what it was?) came on. I recognized Diane Ross and The Allman Brothers, naturally. But I quietly mumbled "I don't even know who these people are."

My husband turned his head and said "You don't know George Jones?!" as if I was saying I had never heard of someone who affected human life as we speak, such as Gandhi.

He then promptly proclaimed me a Communist and said I'm anti-American.

A few minutes before, someone had come on singing "Rhinestone Cowboy". I had no idea that was a real song.

Apparently, I'm supposed to be familiar with the songs that were popular in Amerika while my family was living under the USSR Communist yoke in Poland, not aware that eventually we would be moving to a country where George Jones should be known.

I don't think I can get back the two hours wasted watching the Grammys.

Welcome to my life.

I'm not cool.

Na razie...

Introducing My Hippy Husband

2012-02-10T11:49:00.000-06:00

I thought I could share with you some of my husband's insights on being married to this Polish Mama.

****

This week, he has called my Tato (my father) a "Professional Polish Man". The logic being that since I "blog about being a Professional Polish Woman, [my] Tato is a Professional Polish Man". Also, he was asking some questions about mead.

****

For Christmas, he bought my Tato a bottle of $80 Polish mead and another more reasonably priced bottle of raspberry mead. Because it's Polish and he googled Polish liquor. It was delicious, by the way.

****

While watching a TV show, he proclaimed "This must be in Poland!"

I asked him why and his answer was that he saw the words "Polski".

When I asked what Polski means, he stated that he had no idea but it was definitely something Polish.

Actually, what he saw was "Poliici" on the back of a Finnish Polish man's uniform. It means Police in Finnish.

****

When he doesn't recognize a recipe and catches me taking pictures of it, he assumes it's Polish.

****

He calls trips to Poland "vacation" but I call it "seeing my family". Vacation and seeing your family are not the same thing.

****

He buys me red and green lentils and other "odd" ingredients from the local ethnic store and assumes I know what to do with it. Sometimes, I do.

****

He likes James Brown... And Rick James. I can't really tell either apart. He can't tell the difference between Bach and Beethoven.

Na razie...

Word(y) Wednesday: We Learned English

2012-02-08T10:12:00.000-06:00

I'm sentimental. I keep objects around me that remind me, give me strength.

My husband says I'm a pack rat. But I use these items. They aren't clutter that sit collecting dust, having no value to anyone at all.

One of the things I love to collect are books. I have 4 full sized bookcases filled with books.

Some of the books I have a special place for are the books that remind me of our coming to Amerika.

These are the books I remember my parents pouring over at the dining room table, pencil and small notepads in hand. Copying down words, sounding them out, writing them in sentences, erasing, rewriting.

Asking me if I knew a word once I was in school.

Writing and rewriting on small pieces of paper, checkered with blue lines. The typical paper on which letters were written and mailed back and forth between family in Poland. Letters that took one month to arrive to the USA, another month for the reply to be delivered in Poland.

My Tato (father) took a few English language classes for free after we came here. My mother didn't. Both poured themselves into Amerikan television, repeating sentences. Reading books borrowed from the library, found at yard sales, anywhere we could get them.

Stumbling over computer programming books written in English when computers first came out, because my Tato said that it "is the future"-even when others laughed at such a silly idea as computers.

Playing Rolling Stone songs and singing along. Trying and trying and trying again.

To learn English because we came to Amerika. We wanted to success, to be able to eat better food than boiled white rice, one extremely cheap piece of chicken or hot dog per person, a can of vegetables split between a family of four.

We wanted a hard earned piece of the Amerikan Dream. And the Amerikan Dream didn't involve anyone learning Polish for our benefit. It involved us learning English. Or else living in poverty forever with no future at all.

I look at those books and remember struggle. Persistence. Tears of frustration. Stumbled words. Trying and trying again.

Accents that I didn't hear because to me, they weren't accents. It's how we spoke.

I look at those books and I know all we lost and all we gained.

I would look up at Church and read the PNCC motto "With Truth, Work, and Struggle, We Will Succeed" and feel it deep in my heart because I knew it was true.

I know we are strong.

Na razie...

Word(y) Wednesday: Marytown

2012-02-01T14:48:00.000-06:00

After a vaccination at my toddler's pediatrician office, we stopped by Marytown.

I wrapped her in my mei tai on my front so that I could cuddle her and kiss her and whisper to her. I figured that the shot would sting for a little while and that fresh air and cuddles would make us both feel better.

We walked around the garden and I told her little stories about each spot.

"Baby Jesus loves you"

"Spring is coming, my baby"

"The More You Honor Me, The More I Bless You"

St. Francis of Assisi Peace Prayer

And his prayer turned to song in this video:

I found this in one of the gardens and realized there must be Polish parishioners at Marytown... (I'll tell you about this more in another post)

In the Kolbe/Holocaust Exhibit, I saw this painting and thought it was too powerful not to share...

"Our Lady of Tears"

I needed this today. I needed to hear the bells ringing for Mass. I needed to walk into a church that looked and felt like a church. Where the hymns were sung in the same harmony as my Prababcia sang them. Where benches outside were carved from solid wood, with thought and skill and prayer, for the purpose of pausing, reflecting, finding inner strength.

Where I can walk safely. In peace. Holding my child...

Na razie...

Polish Embassy's Contest, Babywearing Links and Other Fun Links

2012-01-31T11:27:00.000-06:00

I thought today I would share a few fun links I've found online.

The first is The Embassy of Poland in DC's first ever Social Media contest.

Go to Do You Know Polska?, check out some of the polish slang words featured there, come up with a sentence using one (it can be written in English with just the word in Polish or, if you want to, write the entire sentence in Polish), and either email to: washington.press@msz.gov.pl or tweet to @PolishEmbassyUS. Easy!

The prize is a newly published book about Maria Sklodowska-Curie.

Photo from Embassy of Poland in DC's Facebook Page

Today is the last day to enter! Also, this is their first social media contest ever, so let's show support by spreading the word.

I also found a forum online in Polish about Baby wearing, called Chusty. In Poland, baby wearing gear is called a Nosidełka or a Chusta, depending on whether it is a carrier or a fabric carrier (scarf).

Another site in Polish (use Google Translate button or try reading what you can, practice your Polish reading skills!) with older photos of babywearing in Poland from Chustomania.pl.

I found a website called World Memory Project and wanted to share it. Some of you are sharing or looking for your family history and I thought this would be a good tool.

And just to lighten things up a bit, I thought I would share a couple of videos.

The first is a song my kids sing constantly. A Ja Wole Moja Mame. This video has the words and is sung by Edyta Gorniak instead of the original Majka Jeżowska.

The second was playing in Poland on our honeymoon. My husband hates pop music but it got stuck in his head and we went searching for the video. Warning: It's not exactly Sesame Street.

Na razie...

I am not being compensated in any way for sharing any of these links. I just wanted to.

Home Made Cheese

2012-01-30T09:34:00.000-06:00

A couple of days ago, one of my absolute favorite bloggers MomPhotographer posted that she made home made ricotta cheese. I had tried making this before and it had curdled and smelled and tasted horrible, like rancid milk. I decided to try it again after reading her post. After all, I had company coming over.

It came out perfectly.

I rolled it in a mix of spices to dress it up a bit and served it with crackers. It was gone in minutes!

Spice Mix:

1 teaspoon Paprika
1/4 teaspoon ground Pepper
1/4 teaspoon Garlic Powder
pinch of Salt
1 teaspoon dried Curly Parsley *

* I save a lot of money by either growing my own herbs or at least buying at the local ethnic store for a large bunch for around 75 cents and hanging upside down to dry near the store and then crushing and transferring it to empty spice jars.

I have a ton of other recipes I want to share but got behind on, so keep an eye out the next few days! Also, if you like this post, please comment and also go visit Momphotographer and give her some comment love.

Na razie...

Today is the last day to order from my Scentsy party!!

People You Didn't Know Are Polish: Rocket from Little Einsteins

2012-01-24T09:30:00.010-06:00

While watching TV today with my 2 year old (yes, I let my children watch TV), I noticed that Rocket from Disney's Little Einsteins is Polish.

The episode in question is called "Little Red Rockethood".

The episode places the Little Einsteins in Bialowieza, Poland. Rocket's Grandma lives there and is sick with a cold. I'm going to call her "Babcia". If she lives in Bialowieza, most likely she is Polish, after all.

Also, something subtle I must point out. Rocket is red. It's a very subtle thing that Poles like to sometimes do to acknowledge their heritage, the color red. In fact, I have a love for red leather boots and purses myself.

The "Rocket Soup" the group brings to Rocket's Babcia looks suspiciously like Barszcz Czysty. When you watch the video, tell me what you think.

German/Polish version of the tale of Little Red Riding Hood.

Sadly, Disney didn't think to use a Polish composer or painter for this episode.

More information about Bialowieza (UNESCO).

Na razie...

Ukraine's Orange Revolution Memory

2012-01-24T09:30:00.009-06:00

I remember a few years ago while working at an Export shipping company, a Ukrainian group of customers came in. The date was January 24, 2005.

I will never forget them. I smiled as I greeted them, noticed they were Ukrainian and said "Congratulations. Pomarancheva. Viva Ukraina." Silent tears welled up in their eyes and they nodded stiffly.

They asked me if I was Polish and I nodded yes. They shook my hand and I will freely admit that my eyes started to tear a bit with them. This moment probably meant nothing to the other workers and customers there at that moment. But it didn't matter. It meant something to us.

And in that moment, this tiny bleep of a moment that will never be recorded in any history books and which does not need to be, one of the men of this group of Ukrainian immigrants clasped my hand, pointed to me and said "Krasnoludki. Pomarańczowa. Poland." No other words needed to be said.

Na razie...

Related Posts:

30 Years Ago Today in Poland: Martial Law

A Follow-Up About Gordon Gee's Racism

2012-01-19T11:23:00.000-06:00

I don't think I need to say anything else. Representative Kaptur, a fellow Polish American, beautifully expressed everything I wanted to and couldn't. On the House of Representative Floor.

And her Press Release yesterday.

If you would like to stand up with fellow Poles and make your voice heard that Gee's comment and prejudice will not be tolerated, please contact:

Katherine Eckstrand and tell her to put Gee's bigotry on the Board of Trustees agenda when it meets on Feb. 9. Her e-mail is: eckstrand.1@osu.edu
Phone: (614) 292-6359.

Gee’s boss, Chairman of the Board of Trustees, Leslie Wexner at:
lawrence.10@osu.edu Or better yet, call him: (614) 292-6359

... You can also e-mail President Gee at: gordon.gee@osu.edu

Na razie...

Related Post: Gordon Gee and the Polish Army Joke

Censored?

2012-01-18T09:25:00.000-06:00

Today is the internet SOPA/PIPA strike.

I won't be doing Wordless Wednesday today. Instead, I'll be sharing you with links so that you can decide if you would like to support the cause and demand that SOPA/PIPA not pass.

Wikipedia
If SOPA/PIPA pass, you can say goodbye to this free service. Wikipedia is doing a 24 hour blackout in protest and instead are making it easy for you to contact your Congressmen to tell them NO to SOPA/PIPA.

Google Petition

Craigslist
If SOPA/PIPA pass, say goodbye to Craigslist.

OpenCongress

SOPA Strike

BlogHer articles about SOPA/PIPA
BlogHer is a massive women's blog group which all day today will be focusing only on SOPA/PIPA

If you agree and want to support the millions of Americans already protesting (remember, the more noise made, the more likely the politicians will either a. Hear us and do what we, the taxpayers, their bosses, tell them to do, or, b. Won't listen and will bring home the point that the Occupy Movement has been making, that the government is corrupt and no longer working for the people and under the direction of the Constitution.

New York City General Assembly Occupy Movement SOPA

Occupy Wall Street Strikes Against SOPA/PIPA

I also want to ask you this, if the SOPA/PIPA bills bother you enough that you want to protest and support the movement to hopefully stop it, where were you for NDAA? It's not too late. Speak out.

Gordon Gee and the Polish Army Joke

2012-01-17T09:52:00.001-06:00

A few days ago, Gordon Gee, president of Ohio State University, made a comment which has the Polish American community in an uproar.

Of course, I have not heard anything about it on the news. Because it was made at the expense of a group which is allowed to be the target of bigoted jokes.

If you are interested in knowing what the (media ignored) uproar is all about, here are some links and the video capturing the comment:

USA Today article, including his later dismissal regarding owing an apology, because essentially, he didn't actually just say "Polacks".
A Letter from The Kosciuszko Foundation demanding reprimands
Ron Dzwonkowski's article discussing the racial slur and the general cultural acceptance

This video was shared on The Kosciuszko Foundation's Facebook Page. Gee's comment starts at 40:20 mark.

Gee (I won't call him Mr. because I never give the title of a gentleman to someone who doesn't act like one) earns $1.6 million, making him the highest paid public university president in the United States. He is the head of a place of learning. Prejudiced comments by someone who is in charge of a place of learning is just unacceptable.

In case you are confused why this comment was unacceptable, let me explain.

His comment basically referred to the invasion of Poland during WWII by the Nazis and the Russians.

To break down his comment, it meant "those dumb Polacks lost the war and their country because they were in PT boats shooting each other and somehow that applies to my 18 departments". Which isn't what happened. The Polish Army didn't lose WWII because of this. It was torn into two fronts with no allies coming to assist. Only a few years after being the center stage of WWI. And after over a century of not being allowed to be her own country.

Gee might not get it but others do. Millions of lives were lost on Polish soil. Cities were destroyed. Families were subjected to horrors unlike anything Gee could ever imagine. And Poland fought on. Bravely. Intelligently.

Gee made fun of the misfortunes of others in order to make an incoherent analogy about departments.

To make a further point, Gee later is reported to have said:

"Now if you're going to say I was saying something bad about Poland, I'm not," he said. "I could have used some other term, I guess, then."

Those are not the words of a man who means an apology later on.

Those words essentially translate to: Well, I didn't actually use the racial slur Polack, so it's not actually racist.

It doesn't work that way. With any ethnic, religious or other groups, you don't have to use the actual racist slur against them in order to say a prejudiced comment.

Whether Gee said "dumb Polacks" or masked it behind a comment that essentially means the same thing, he said a prejudiced comment.

Right now, a petition has begun calling for Gee's resignation, if you are interested.

Please take a moment out of your day to express your outrage at this racial slur and write an e-mail:

Gee’s boss, Chairman of the Board of Trustees, Leslie Wexner
lawrence.10@osu.edu
Or call him: (614) 292-6359

President Gee:
gordon.gee@osu.edu

Please spread the word.

Na razie...

People You Didn't Know Are Polish: Johnny Galecki

2012-01-13T12:24:00.001-06:00

If you follow me on Twitter, you might know that I am a fan of The Big Bang Theory. I actually chuckle at the science jokes and the scenarios discussing social awkwardness resound with me.

I will admit now that I was deemed "Gifted" in school as well. I won't get into that right now.

The cast of The Big Bang Theory has 5 main characters and they are all linked together by their relationship with Johnny Galecki's character, Leonard Hofstadter.

Johnny Galecki's last name is pronounced Gah-weht-skee and he is of Polish, Italian and Irish decent.

On The Late Late Show, Johnny actually discusses being Polish. And guess what? He's from Chicago.

Na razie...

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Poles Who Shaped the Face of American History

Rob Van Dam

Warner (Warner Brothers Films)

Wordless Wednesday: Frost, Prairie Grass, Sunshine and Shadow

2012-01-11T11:52:00.000-06:00

Finnish Schools, Polish Schools, US Schools

2012-01-10T09:49:00.000-06:00

I found an article titled "What Americans Keep Ignoring About Finland's School Success" which was written a couple of weeks ago and discussed the differences between the two countries methods and PISA test scores. And what was continuously being brushed aside by Americans and was probably the most important key to the Finnish schools success.

I thought the article was interesting and decided I wanted to share it with you.

I also wanted to share some links to PISA test scores for other countries.

Poland 2000-2006 PISA scores, including explanations of education reforms.

PISA 2009 scores table for participating countries

What do you think about this large difference in education methods and test scores?

Is your child in public school or private? Mine at this point are in private school because I don't have any faith in the public school system where we currently live.

Would you want your children to have the same education as Finnish children have? Personally, I would love that. I think it holds true to the ideals set forth by both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States.

As a complete side note, did you notice that the girls in the first article's photograph are dressed differently than American girls? Can you tell the difference? Every girl in the photo is wearing very little pink, more variety of colors, no cartoon characters, dressed for comfort and their hair is pulled up. It seems subtle but compare a group of American girls the same age in dress attire and their hair styles and it's actually quite different.

Na razie...

Polish Hunter's Lamb

2012-01-09T12:17:00.000-06:00

I love lamb. I know it's not considered a very common meat in Poland but it is still delicious. Sheep is raised in Poland alongside pig and cattle, so while lamb dishes are not the most popular, they do exist.

My Tato and Babcia both do not enjoy the taste of lamb but my Wujek does enjoy it.

Lamb, or sheep, has a strong taste. Some will express dislike for it's strong taste, well, stronger than conventionally raised beef which is the closest red meat many will have to compare it to. But to me, it tastes like it grazed on grass, shrubbery and other greens.

Lamb stands up well to stronger sauces, spices, etc.

Ingredients:

1 leg of Lamb
1 teaspoon Ginger
1 cup Water
1 cup White Wine
1/2 cup Vinegar
12 Peppercorns
8 Allspice berries
5 Bay Leaves
20 Juniper Berries
2-3 Garlic Cloves
1-2 Onions
Marjoram or Curly Parsley
Salt
2 tablespoons Butter
2 tablespoons Flour
Sugar

Remove the fell from the lamb and any large chunks of fat. Place fat side up in a roasting pan without a rack.

In a saucepan, combine all but the Garlic, Onion and Salt in a saucepan. Bring to a boil. Pour this marinade over the meat and allow to sit overnight in the refrigerator. Flip over one to two times a day for 3 to 5 days.

Position the leg of lamb so that the fat side is up.

Cut the garlic and onions into slivers. Make slits into the meat about 1-2" deep and stuff with garlic, onions and marjoram or curly parsley. Pour the marinade over the meat one more time. Rub the lamb all over with salt.

Bake in a 450 degree oven for 1/2 an hour to crisp up the outside.

Turn down heat to 325 degrees and cook for 2-3 1/2 hours. Inside temperature of meat should be 150 degrees.

Let rest for 15 minutes before carving.

In the meantime, melt the butter in a saucepan. Mix in flour and add the marinade juices. Season with sugar and any additional vinegar you would like to suit your taste.

Serve with boiled potatoes or buckwheat grouts, fried cabbage, carrots or rubbed beets. You can also serve with a dollop of sour cream or plain yogurt, if you like.

Because I decided to let the lamb sit another hour after adding the slices of garlic, the garlic turned green but it is safe to eat.

The final verdict: My Tato did not like it, but he doesn't like lamb. My husband inhaled it as did both of my children, who do not like lamb. My older daughter does not like sour foods but since I found the right amount of balance when I added the sugar and she mixed sour cream into her sauce, she loved it. I loved it and ate nothing else for several days.

Smacznego!

Winter

2012-01-05T09:34:00.006-06:00

I loathe winter. I loathe the cold. I don't dislike it. The cold seeps into my core and no matter how hard I try, I can't warm up. And I can't shake the depression that overwhelms me, even with flax seeds, flax seed oil, fish and milk in my diet.

I don't think it's Seasonal Affective Disorder anymore. I think it's the lack of outdoor activity.

There is a rhythm to the Earth. A rhythm to walking on a dirt path, tree branches passing overhead, the grasses a tapestry of various hues hiding wildlife.

The footsteps my heartbeat, the grasses the swishing of breathe, the hidden life a reminder that the world goes on. There might be troubles with Iran and Syria and Wall Street and the Occupy Movement and SOPA.

But on the trail, they are gone. They will be handled. And I will have my strength when I return home to bear hearing my Babcia's voice telling me over and over how she wished in her life that we could spent more time together.

I reconnect with the earth and accept life as it is when I am outdoors. I breathe in and out and feel everything is where it should be.

I can sense the life, people and animals and plants, that were on this soil before me.

I can sense the creation that has been before me, that is now, and that will create again when I am gone. Call it Science, call it God, in the end, it is the same thing. A wonderfully orchestrated amazing and unending Creator. One that works with a rhythm. Like feet on a trail in the woods. A heartbeat.

In the cold winter, the frozen ponds and unceasing winds, there is no rhythm. Not one I can hear. There is only a rushed herding of children from house to car to building and a feeling of being breathless for a moment afterwards.

And then, that moment afterwards when the warmth returns to you, when you catch a breath that isn't so cold that it burns, when you feel your heartbeat again.

Santa Claus brought me a bearable winter this year.

It's January and just now the pond has finally frozen enough to bear my weight. The geese are just now assembling and honking their way across the skies toward the warmth of the South.

My children's bare hands in my bare hands and we smile at each other and talk. And our breathe doesn't hurt.

I can talk to them about the millions of shades of winter. The browns, the blues, the muted greens and reds and yellows. The animals sleeping. Waiting for Spring.

We are walking. The rhythm of the Earth beneath me.

Na razie...

Word(y) Wednesday: Golonka

2012-01-04T13:01:00.000-06:00

My Tato drove into Chicago to buy some items from the Polish stores.

He bought Golonka.

Golonka belongs in poetry. When I envision a wealthy landowner from the Dark Ages gnawing on a piece of meat, I don't envision mutton or the modern spin, a turkey leg. I envision Golonka.

Because if that wealthy landowner knew anything about delicious meat, he would choose Golonka.

I think they should serve Golonka at Renaissance Festivals.

My Tato bought "two biggest Golonka they had", he proclaimed. He called dibs on the larger of the two he purchased.

Tato said, "I have to go drink a beer because Golonka likes to swim!"

I agree.

Na razie...

Calling Babcia: Snails, Kidneys and Tai Chi

2012-01-03T09:52:00.000-06:00

I love calling my Babcia. I wish I could live near her and visit her often. She is, to me, the definition of a wise woman. A true Babcia.

This time, when I called her, I also had my Tato on the phone with her.

We talked about Christmas and the winding Pre-war stairs of my cousins apartment in Wroclaw. The house was one of many which were once probably owned by nobility or merchants. There is a courtyard with doors that, if you stop and just look, you could imagine a horse drawn carriage coming home from some event and entering the courtyard to prepare for night and rest.

My Babcia walked up the stairs with some of my family to celebrate Christmas together. The building was once beautiful. But it has fallen to some neglect.

My Tato and Babcia discussed politics and why the building is not being restored the way I dream it could be every time I visit.

In my eyes, I envision discovering the original paint color under the current flaking layers. I imagine the stairs being repaired and the banister re polished and properly attached to the walls. Walls which probably once bore family portraits.

I imagine the rotting wooden family crest of whoever once owned the house being carefully researched and restored.

I imagine beautiful light fixtures bringing light to the dark corners that always make my breathe stop in fear. Imagined figures always hide in those recesses waiting for me.

I imagine the house is made a historical site and so much more...

My Babcia tells me that she has mailed me two recipes for Kidneys which should be tasty. She chuckles as she says this and I tell her how I traumatized my children with the last attempt.

The conversation leads to her time in France when her family tried to avoid WWII and it's atrocities.

She and my father both said that they could never imagine eating snails. That perhaps it's because they have some sort of attachment to those green shelled garden residents that every Pole sees throughout the warm days of summer.

I told my Babcia that I have eaten snails. Slimaki. Hiding in a lot of garlic, butter and parsley. At, of all places, a restaurant in Western Maryland called Old South Mountain Inn (I love that restaurant, by the way).

That my East Coast hippy husband, who had never eaten anything like it, had ordered it immediately thinking of me and that we had all really enjoyed it. Even my then 2 year old older daughter.

That it tasted like... well, a garden. There was something in the taste that reminded me of clams. Wonderful. I was pronounced an adventurous eater.

My Tato reminded me that the snails eaten in France are actually harvested in Poland. I had once watched a television show discussing the snails of Poland and why the French could not raise and harvest their own snails.

My Babcia found that to be very funny and we talked about various dishes we loved and which we didn't.

My Babcia told me that she missed doing Tai Chi everyday. That she would go to the local park and do it with a group of other older residents and that it cleared her eczema. I have decided that I would start doing Tai Chi again as well.

Na razie...

Our Start to 2012

2012-01-01T14:46:00.000-06:00

My husband participated in the Lake County Polar Bear Plunge at Waukegan Beach. "Proceeds from the Waukegan Polar Bear Plunge go to the SRSNLC- Waukegan Scholarship program. This program helps individuals with disabilities participate in camps, athletics, health and fitness programs, and much more."

He walked in up to the lifeguard, went underwater, and walked back out. Our toddler told him she was cold and we went home to change and go out to eat at a restaurant some friends suggested. I won't waste any time talking about that restaurant as it was... disappointing.

We are all now taking naps and snuggling together in pajamas, planning the next charity event he will be participating in and our next outdoor adventure on the prairie.

I hope your 2012 started with as much fun and excitement as ours. Happy New Year!

Na razie...

Disclaimer: No compensation was received for this post

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Polish Cheesecake or Sernik

2011-12-31T17:14:00.001-06:00

I was asked on Facebook by Chrystal if I knew of a recipe her mother in law remembered. It was a cheese pie made with farmer's cheese. Sernik (pronounced Sehr-nyeek) is Poland's very popular version of cheesecake, using Twarog or Farmer's Cheese.

I originally meant to make the version my Babcia's recipe describes. It involved doing something that I think is secretly quintessential to Polish foods-stuffing it. In the original recipe, raisins and almonds are in the cake. Hence, stuffing it.

However, after such wonderful help from my toddler at the extremely packed grocery store, I became distracted watching her concentrated face as she focused on putting sour cream, milk, and other items into the shopping cart for me and jumping "I big helper!" each time. And forgot to purchase the raisins, which we buy quite often but are the snack of choice in my house.

So, you will forgive me as the finished product does not have raisins (and therefore, almonds since I think they should go hand in hand in this recipe). But I will share the recipe as it is written with the raisins and almonds in it. The pictured version below has chopped prunes instead-another delicious substitution.

Also, there are other equally lovely versions of this recipe which involve more separating and mixing of the eggs and other ingredients. But this is the easy version my Babcia shared with me. It is thicker because you are not adding any whipped egg whites or leavening agents, such as baking soda.

Sernik covers a range of versions, from light, fluffy souffle like to thick and rougher textured but equally delicious and sweet versions.

Sernik can also have a crust or not. I personally like mine crustless.

I will share another version that is light and fluffy in a week or two. I will also make it with a crust, in case you would like to have it that way.

Ingredients:

2 pounds Twarog *
6 Eggs
6 tbsp. Flour
1 1/3 cup Sugar
4 tbsp. Butter
1/2 cup Raisins**
1/2 cup Almonds***
up to 1 tablespoon Vanilla Extract (you might have to experiment with how much you prefer)
3 tbsp. Orange Zest

Crumble the cheese well. Add eggs and sugar. Mix well together.

Soak raisins in hot water for 10 minutes to plump up. Dry and coat with the flour.

Add raisins, flour, almonds, orange peel, vanilla to the filling mixture.

Add warm melted butter. Mix well.

In a greased springform pan, pour the filling and spread evenly.

Bake for 1 hour at 300 degrees.

Let sit a few minutes before removing from pan and cutting.

You may melt chocolate and drizzle it on top. I prefer whipping cream on mine and fresh berries.

Smacznego!

Notes:

* The recipe originally calls for 1 kg Twarog, which is 2.2 lbs but I just rounded it to 2 lbs.

You can use ricotta cheese or small curd cottage cheese instead, but it must be very well drained and not soured.

You could also make your own Twarog, which I personally have not yet done myself but plan to do in the next few weeks as a fun experiment with the kids. I think, however, that you would probably need to get real fresh unprocessed cow's milk for it to be truly successful.

** The recipe originally calls for using a Vanilla Bean instead of Vanilla Extract, but I've had difficulty locating it out here on the prairie. I'm sure that closer to the city, you could find it more easily. I did, at one point, find it for $9 for one bean, which to me is just extremely high.

If you decide to use a Vanilla Bean, you will have lovely black specks throughout the cake, which to me, look more authentic. Just slice in half and scrape out the seeds and add to the dough where the extract is used.

You can also use Vanilla Sugar instead of the regular sugar and vanilla extract or vanilla bean.

*** You can either soak the whole Almonds in hot water for 10 minutes and then skin, or use sliced or slivered Almonds. Your preference.

Related Posts:

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Placek, Kuchen, Coffee Cake, Delicious

Wordless Wednesday: The Wigilia Feast

2011-12-28T11:27:00.000-06:00

Wigilia has ended but I thought I would share a photo of our table. We have been snacking on ham, stuffed eggs, kielbasa, bigos and other goodies the past few days as well.

The red candle in the center is from our first Wigilia in the USA. We still use it and light it. To remember.

Na razie...