“Would you see what one of those, uh, um, chocolate, uh, goodies finds its way to our ride?”

With subject lines like “Hey” and “You gotta see this,” Obama for American campaign emails have raised the ire of even the most dedicated Obama supporters. Even Jon Stewart called out the Nigerian-prince-esque emails on a recent Daily Show episode:

But could these emails be breaking more serious laws? According to the CAN-SPAM Compliance Guide for Businesses, yes.

From the guide:

1. Don’t use false or misleading header information. Your “From,” “To,” “Reply-To,” and routing information – including the originating domain name and email address – must be accurate and identify the person or business who initiated the message.

The campaign frequently alters the sender’s name, from Michelle Obama to David Axelrod, though the email address is always inf0@barackobama.com. We’re pretty sure Joe Biden isn’t actually writing us.

 
Do you see any advertisement label in the below? Because we don’t. And when you’re asking the recipient for something, whether it’s to buy some cheesy bumper sticker, watch a video, or donate money, we think it counts as an ad.

 
Nope, not even 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is listed in these emails.

 
So, perhaps, Joe, David, Michele and Barack should find out what their campaign is actually doing and encourage them to fix their spammy emails. After all, the fines for violating the CAN-SPAM act cost as much as  $16,000 per email, a hefty chunk of any campaign budget.

We’re not in the businesses of supporting either side in this campaign, but we are dedicated to the idea that politicians should not break the very laws they make.

In what is being dubbed “Cookiegate,” Mitt Romney insulted a plate of cookies from the local Bethal Bakery:

“I’m not sure about these cookies, they don’t look like you made them. Did you make those? No, they came from the local 7-Eleven or whatever.”

But wouldn’t you like to be a pepper too?

A top Romney advisor went on CNN this morning. As a response to the Illinois victory, he stated the campaign trail could “hit a reset button” for the fall campaign, in short, changing everything, including Mitt Romney’s ever-changing opinions.

“It’s almost like an Etch-A-Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and we start all over again.”

Etch-A-Sketch was also offended by the comparison, claiming it has more “personality” than the presidential hopeful.

“I don’t even consider myself as wealthy, which is an interesting thing. It can be here today and gone tomorrow,” said Ann Romney in an interview on Friday.

Instead, she said she values her riches by the “the friends I have and the loved ones I have and the people I care about in my life.” Maybe she wouldn’t mind trading those actual riches for more NASCAR team-owning friends.

Whoops.

It may be Photoshopped, but you can’t spell Romney without $$!

Joe Biden starts to mimic an Indian accent when talking about call centers, when he suddenly pauses and realizes maybe that’s not the best idea.

An extension on his treastie that “Corporations are people, my friend,” Mitt Romney has gone ahead and anthropomorphized banks too.

“The banks are scared to death, of course,” Romeny told a Monday rountable of Florida business owners. “They’re feeling the same thing that you’re feeling. And so they just want to pretend that all this is just going to get paid some day.”

We’re pretty sure if you look up “Out-of-touch” in the dictionary, you’ll see a picture of Romney’s face.